John Oliver Takes The Colbert Questionert 

What a long strange journey it's been.

Now I'm imagining Jon Stewart in a black leather trench coat and an eyepatch.

I sure hope they didn't forget to feed Jon Stewart under Colbert's desk during the pandemic.

@@derrickmarais flashbacks to The Faculty hahaha

Best comment ever!

Very British, I think. Doesn't want to out-dress his host.

@@alifmuhammadchicago That and the well known fact that when he's not hosting the show, he's in the gym. He lied about the NY appartment or the Grateful Dead concert. He lives in the gym. Actually the 'studio' he tapes Last Week Tonight in is just the gym's dressing room.

@@BiffChunksteak ahaaa! We see through your games, you rogue!

All of them wear suits though.

I guarantee he's wearing sweatpants

I always thought "Dinner with Andre" deserved a remake, with Arnold Schwarzenegger as the voluble Andre and Tom Cruise as the "yessir nossir" interlocutor. And it should be in 3D of course.

@@ericminch 4D! Go full Disneyland!

Amazing how a phrase can be such a good example of what it means.

@@ericminch I like the idea but I would switch Tom Cruise for Sylvester Stalone because of his friendly rivalry with Schwartzenegger.

Totally! But I can´t believe the example of that was "bramborová polévka" (potato soup in Czech), there is nothing pyrotechnical about that phrase. (And nobody says "bramborová polévka" anyways, everyone says "bramboračka", I suppose "bramborová polévka" is just a literal translation of the English phrase). They should have gone straight to Georgian for linguistic pyrotechnics. Georgian has looong words with lots of r´s and no vowels.

When Colbert said no, I half expected John to reply "What is wrong with you."

Yeah, I was like "why is Stephen lying? What other number could he possibly think of?"

John Oliver is a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is.

@@CaptainNuge He definitely doesn't panic.

If Stephen wasn’t thinking of 42 before, he was definitely thinking of it after.

Lol, there must have been a translated copy of the Bhagavad-Gita somewhere in all the stuff the English took from India.

@Clay Chiarelott Yeah, that was the joke. that the English made it available and the American's use it.

Um yeah we watched it...

as was I

@@lars3877 basically, yeah. The book was originally translated to English by a printer from the East India Company, so yeah, the colonialism joke is, in fact, spot on.

I would watch the hell out of that show. But maybe have a cameo with Russell Howard because the two are besties.

Screw an American tour, make it a world tour as soon as this pandemic is finished, and bring Russell Howard also.

...and solve crimes.

Oh yes!!!!

@@mjau65 brilliant

haha what is that about? I don't remember him recording answers in other CQs In a 'flat or sparkling' question, a pen in his hand, he looked like a waiter suddenly

He's just marking off the questions

@@DAS1962 no he's writing much longer than that, not that i believe hes actually writing everything down but hes at least pantomiming it

Same! I laughed so hard each time

You talk like him.

Fun fact. The Johns Oliver and Cena have the same birth date.

Yeah. Wet dream 😍

You missed classic daily show then..

You’re a delight

They're delights apart as well!

You’re all delightful

Wonder how they got that surname...

My gran had a neighbour called L. Krapp 🤣 us kids were very entertained by this it.

Did they ram bottoms?

Macbeth Dawson.

Wow, if he even went into porn, he could still use his birth name!

As a waitress, I felt that! I always say to my guests, why not treat yourself?

@@TheBrianna1431 "treat yourself" will be my new motto when i eat out now 😂

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5WwZkbAvBtk.html

gotta have your ennui with your crazy action scenes.

Me for The Rock, best ever use of Sean Connery's cinematic history to enhance a character. But I agree heartily with Oliver's choice of the great BLT as the best sandwich.

Mine has to be Shooter. Marky Mark is the man that gets used to tossed by the military but can’t turn down the call to action because of his inner responsibility to America. Michael Peña is the scared desk jockey kid who ends up killing the bad guys. Also Hurt Locker damn so man good ones

@@colinjohnson5515 Shoot Em Up is another classic.

Never mind them. I'll never tire of them making me laugh♥️😂

Gold

Oh... my...god!!! You are spot on, and i will never be able to look at John Oliver without thinking of this

Why have I never thought of Milhouse?! 🤣 thank you!

John warned Stephen that he is British 🤷‍♀️😂

Cold...lol

Im thinking John was thinking of hitch hikers guide to the galaxy....

Yes the answer to life the universe and everything. But what was question...

@@wordzmyth We will never know because of the damned Gogafrinchans, which is us.

Colbert was lying, he was clearly thinking '42'

I was really really betting on some Stone Roses

I love that he said that. I've gone through a few Ashes-to-Ashes on repeat phases. It IS very relistenable.

I was thinking this exact thing. As a person, I admired John to what one may say is the correct amount, but as soon as I heard that my admiration for him increased tenfold.

Whoa you need a hug my friend? 🖖

I'd love to see this happen

Take out Sam B and I'm COMPLETELY on board with you! Sam B is just angry at everything all the time, just at everything, and she'd kill the positive vibes for everyone

Amen. Zan

Amber is the best and truly underrated.

Yeah, 42 is the ultimate answer. How could it be wrong?

An explanation pls for forreigners

@@kikihunziker Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - it's all there

@@kikihunziker it’s the answer to the question, what’s the meaning of life, the universe, and everything

@@madmawgrit have to backcheck that.... Read the book, viewed the film, can't remember any of this..... 🤔 Tks a lot.

I saw that your comment has 68 likes.. the number didn't look right. So made it the right one by liking.

dips apple slice in peanut butter *M I S S I O N A C C O M P L I S H E D*

Still love you Lili!

This was seriously boring.

That would be any guests. The wives of comedians have heard it all a million times. It's why they seem so stuck up and dull next to a great comedian because they're the only one not laughing.

I'd bet Laura up there is one of them. 😆

@@dalpz205 No, I just didn't find this funny, some jokes I do but this wasn't funny imo. Tell me, what was so funny about it?

Heck most times they don't (ego). These two are like peanut butter and apple slices....

@@LostandFoundTravel peanut butter and Apple slices? That shit goes together?

@@LostandFoundTravel or like perfectly crisp bacon and a sweet tomato

Oh, you can, but should you? Should you?

"When my wife went to England she was surprised at the lack of president Bush in everything "

@@sithpsychopath3189 That must be why they got so many immigrants that they find it a problem now!

​@@jemiebridges3197 People move globally now. Whom are you referring to immigrants and what sort of problems are you referring to?

@@funkyfromage We won't know til we find out. If we just tell him an apple has oil, he might just tell us that he suspects the apple tree has WMDs.

"I hope the ones that love us will miss us"

@@davehoward22 look it up on yt. It's a great interview

@@winterlion9570 that's not the quote 😅

I liked hearing, "I don't have religion like you do..." Yes! Another intelligent, articulate atheist.

​@@herolddesasozialennetzwerk1423 - I'm not sure what you mean by "Needs to be done in Merica..." - what does? *All* religions are based on lies and delusions, and their "sacred" texts - whether the bible (2000-4000 yrs old; 1 god), torah (800 yrs; 1 god), quran (1400 yrs; 1 god), hinduism (4000 yrs; 300 million gods as extensions of 1 god, including animals) - contain moral stories intended to guide, or moreso, keep their followers in line/control them. It's funny that no one seems to believe in Zeus and his wife Hera, or Odin anymore, but the rest stuck. 🤣 The worst part is that parents begin indoctrinating their children into whatever their religious beliefs are from the time they're babies, with relevant crosses/wheels/stars hung over their cribs, kids saying their prayers before bedtime, or with islam 5x/day facing "mecca," and other practices/ceremonies - long before the children's critical thinking skills have fully developed (late teens), so they can make their own decisions. By that time, they're usually already convinced. I consider it a form of child abuse. The new-age "spirituality" - with people who say, "I'm *spiritual,* not religious" - is still based on belief in the supernatural, though many of its adherents will deny it's a religion. I started questioning religion (raised anglican) once I learned about evolution at school in grade 5, and after abandoning church at 13 and after a lot of investigation, have been atheist since my early twenties. By 30, I'd learned about humanism, which is a good fit for me. The book "Can We Be Good Without God?" by late Brit/Canadian Dr Robert Buckman, who was president of the Humanist Association of Canada, spelled it all out for me. I also read and watched Richard Dawkins and the late Christopher Hitchens, both of whom are/were articulate, eloquent representatives, advocates and debaters of atheism. Ricky Gervais adds a blunt, irreverant, humourous approach, as Dr Buckman did at his talks and debates I attended in Canada. He also made humourous, medical information videos with none other than British comedy actor John Cleese. What a great, silly, comedy duo! I'm now 60, and have never swayed from being atheist/humanist - not even when I've been in near-fatal car or bike crashes and 3 house fires, including one in which I was trapped inside and barely made it out before it burned to the ground (I was treated in hospital for smoke inhalation.) That saying "There are no atheists in a plane that's going down" never applied to me in life-threatening situations. I was solely focused on escaping and surviving, and enduring painful, inevitable rehab. "Religion is the opiate of the masses." - Karl Marx It also sucks money out of people's pockets, often to line the pockets of religious leaders, and yes - Evangelicals are the worst culprits/hypocrites, living in luxury with private jets, while their followers may be poor and struggling. It's a big swindle - and it doesn't matter what religion it is. Look at Vatican City! We humans can be ethical, honest, compassionate, can build healthy communities and resolve conflict without any imaginary sky-daddy and "neutered poultry" (i.e. angels ~ Hitchens). The world would be a better place for it. I believe in evidence-based fact. The burden of proof is on those who claim that something exists (especially when intangible), not those who claim it doesn't. Oh, yeah - astrology, numerology, tarot cards and ghosts are also nonsense that I find funny - and disappointing - that adults still believe in and "practice." Our human brains are hard-wired to make connections and recognise patterns, which can lead to belief in deities, mysticism and religion, in gullible, brain-washed people. Wake up, people! Think for yourself!

@@wholeshebang1 And you talk about "intelligent atheists"? rolls-eyes Your "either with me or against me" attitude isn't any better than that of religious extremisms.

​@@NuiYabuko - What are you talking about - "either with me or against me"? I described how the human brain works to make us vulnerable to belief in the supernatural, and how parents disadvantage their children by (perhaps unwittingly) indoctrinating them into religion by feeding them *their* religious beliefs (because the same had likely been done to them). That results in "magical thinking" that leads people to also believe in superstitions, the concept of "good versus evil," magic, astrology, numerology, tarot, runes, ghosts, séances, god & satan - which invokes fear, that can lead to moral outrage and striking out against non-believers or those whose religious beliefs differ from theirs. Religion is harmful - look at the atrocities committed by theists throughout history: from the Crusades between Christians and Muslims (estimated between 1M-9M dead); wars worldwide (that still exist today) to invade, take over countries and force compliance with *their* beliefs; torture of those who seemed evil or "possessed" (Salem witch trials, with death by hanging; in Europe, burning at the stake or the witch "swimming test"); and all kinds of "smaller" acts of violence in the name of god, like mass shootings, which are highest in the USA. _____________________________________ Let's not forget the colonizers from Europe, who "discovered" the Americas, bringing with them diseases (bubonic plague, measles, smallpox, mumps, chicken pox, influenza, cholera, diptheria, typhus, malaria, leprosy, yellow fever) that killed 90% of Native Americans (between 4 million and 12 million) who had no immunity, and forced their Christian beliefs upon the Indigenous peoples. They killed many more in massacres with the natives, until only ~5 million remain today in the USA. Aboriginal children in Canada were forced sterilization Christian missionaries traveled to the farthest reaches of "undiscovered" lands to convert the "savages" to Christianity since 1 CE, including the more recent John Chau, the (egocentric) young American who, in 2018, bribed local fishermen to take him to remote Sentinel Island (forbidden to do so) to spread the word of god to the self-isolated, uncontacted tribe there, but was immediately killed by them with arrows and spears. It was decided that his body would not be retrieved, to spare contact and potential spread of disease to the Sentinelese. _____________________________________ The recent amendments in a few conservative/Republican, southern US states to force women wh'o have abortions (which are legal) to *bury* the fetus or miniscule cluster of cells (from a D&C) is regressive, punitive and will cause many women in smaller communities to resort to desperate measures, for fear of being outed and shamed or disowned. To those vile, mostly male politicians, an unwanted baby is preferred over a woman's inability to provide for one, or to end a pregnancy that is non-viable due to severe deformation, or was a result of rape, or simply *her choice* to not continue with it. These religious politicians don't care about the child *after* it's born - just that it is. If they did, there would be more supports in place for women struggling to provide for them. Catholics would be okay with abortion, and people of all religions would welcome comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education and teach consent in schools, so incidences of grooming and sexual assault of children, as well as coersion and rape of teens and adults would lessen. Muslim girls wouldn't be forced to have their clitorises and labia cut off (in crude, non-medical fashion in huts, with rusty blades, often by their grandmothers), then sewn shut (leaving just one hole the size of a matchstick head for urination and menstruation's tissue and blood), because men want to "control" women who "might cheat" if they derived sexual pleasure. Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is still being performed (often by Muslim doctors in the US & Europe), and the young women (if they don't get sepsis and die) suffer daily in pain, let alone on their wedding night, when the husband forces himself in, tearing her open. Once pregnant, she's sewn back up until giving birth, when her healed and scarred skin is cut open. She is sewn back up after birth. How horrific! All in the name of religion! _____________________________________ Gods were invented thousands of years ago by man to explain natural phenomena, like crop failure, earthquakes, floods (on that note - suuuure...Moses parted the Great Sea) before science had developed enough to prove otherwise. It has, yet people still believe in their gods and refute science, as we've seen with the COVID-19 pandemic and people's denial or minimization of it (as "just the 'flu") and refusal to wear masks, santize their hands and physically distance themselves, as the global - especially the American - death toll rises. ______________________________________ BTW, it's "you're," the contraction of "you are," not "your," the possessive form. I can tell *you're* the type of poorly-educated, probably religious person that can't provide me any empirical, evidence-based facts of proof of a puppet-master in the sky - can you? Go ahead - I'll wait. No one ever has yet. You won't be able to, because it's non-existent, all in your head, having been brainwashed by your parents, or like many who were on-the-fence, when in times of trouble - be it the incarcerated ("born-again" in jail), those addicted to alcohol or other substances ("saved" by god), or who narrowly escaped/recovered from some tragedy or near-fatal medical emergency, post-surgery (which is science) - who "found god." We *can* conduct ourselves with integrity and compassion, and resolve our conflicts with reason and negotiation, without religion. Community can be forged without it - no "gods" are needed.

​@@NuiYabuko -​ ____________________________________________

omg true

Somebody said road trip and I think that's a great idea. When the pandemic is over, they can visit all the devastated places, talk to people, and then lighten the mood by doing some comedy.

Not the daily show with not jon Stewart? Lol

@@article12 "The Daily Show, w/out John Stewart!!!"

@@johannageisel5390 like one Oliver takes Colbert through Liverpool, football, pubs and speaking Scouse. And then vice versa through the south. But once off, prefer it only when they hang out once in a while. And they definitely should take the ring master Jon Stewart along.

Seriously I don’t think Stephen has the time

I don't even own a DVD player and I'd buy the collector's edition

@@StevenNatiello Do you own an Xbox or PlayStation? If you do, then you own a DVD player.

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Aknco2bxCDE.html&ab_channel=remixit

I legit thought Ashes to Ashes during the question and had quite the reaction when he named it

I can't stand Ashes to Ashes or David Bowie's voice. The best song he ever recorded was "The Laughing Gnome"

. ..the poor Leicester goalkeeper will now go down in history for all the wrong reasons.......

@@panchopuskas1 Luton, not Leicester en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Dibble played for many clubs but never Leicester, and mostly played for smaller less successful clubs because he was never actually very good! He finished his career by playing just 1 game for Accrington Stanley in the 2005-2006 season nicely coming full cirle on this story, which started with wanting Ian Rush's signature instead, as Ian Rush famously featured in a milk advert with the line "Accrington Stanley, who are they?" ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pieK7b4KLL4.html ;o)

@@chrisboyd3540 Thanks for the link! I thought of that old add as soon as I saw the name 'Accrington Stanley'. Some years after that add, I would occasionaly travel to Accrington with my job. I remember it being a really nice place to leave.

Bhagavad Gita from another universe.

Budding? They have been like this for years.

Look up LNSC "John Oliver Gets into Stephen's Personal Space 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

We’re watching it blossom before our eyes!

They've been friends for years

How about Seth & Oliver?

John Stewart is not here today because....

So basically a podcast.

@@MagnumCarta no I meant a conversation among friends. Like not for an audience. I'm just imagining their chemistry and the things they might talk about..

Your number of likes for the comment didn't seem right.

@@alexsingh2389 🤣🤣🤣🤣

😂😂

My kind of man. I’m soooooo over comic book movies.

Yeah I don't have one either. If you really pressed on and squeeze me for an answer I'd say Lucy or Fifth element as I like the non action part of the story. Fxxk the marvel shit !

ABA IS ABUSE. STEPHEN SUPPORTS CHILD ABUSE.

@@sadhbh4652 Who?

In New Zealand, they put butter on their peanut butter sandwiches. Seriously.

An abomination unto the tastebuds

I can't have peanut butter due to allergies but putting marmite on anything is an insult to food.

It's more likely a reference to the "borrowers"

Including the hand wave.

Hahaha love that idea! At least a sketch next time John is on!

Nah...the magic happens unscripted

... would love it to be Stephen, John + Seth Meyers too.

Oh shit! I think that would be perfect! You've hit the nail on the head.

It was perfect

I recently lost my best friend and I think about this quote all the time now.

“I know that the ones who love us... will miss us.” Beautiful quote from a beautiful man.

@@chrisgill261 I feel for you, I’m so sorry ... I lost my best friend nearly 9 years ago.. and it still feels very fresh. My condolences 💙 If you ever need to talk about it, don’t hesitate.

@@chrisgill261 I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose the ones we love *hugs but only if you want them as I respect your personal space*

So Andy Dibble is a real person? He sounds like a character in a fifth grader's first creative writing assignment.

he wan't lying at ANY time. One of the reasons that man is so awesome

Soccer

@@DSPHistoricalSociety no, it's football for the rest of the world

@@chelootzuny It also used to be called soccer in lots of places in the world. But just like the metric system, the non-American countries have decided to change what they use, and stubbornly proclaim that it is ALWAYS been that way, and has always been meant to be that way.

AND I LOVE IT

OLD? Gimme a Break.

I mean...John is 44. He's not THAT old. He's still 12 years younger than Stephen...

@@pacmanshooter247 and the exact same age as John Cena

@@chrissiek8706 As every fan is more than aware.

The only autograph I ever got was from Tex Ritter at a rodeo/music event in (i think?) Springfield MA. I was maybe five or six years old. At the time I was really into The Lone Ranger and Gene Autrey movies, and that event was the closest my parents could find.

Its better then bad, it's good.

@@AC3handle everyone wants a log 🪵....

Ashes to Ashes and In Rainbows, doesn't get much better than that

@@elmdi Maybe, but Colbert knows his music, and Oliver specified "David Bowie" in his answer.

@@elmdi who the hell doesn't know Ashes to Ashes

Ashes to Ashes is a crappy song and I hate Bowie's voice.

My favorite, freshly baking bread. My least favorite, tobacco smoke. Tobacco smoke drives me to the edge of violence.

I prefer mine with a tiny sprinkle of salt to flirt with the sweet. Failing that, I drown them in low sugar custard as a desert.

That’s what I just said to my husband.

I mean... Could just eat an apple, y'know, as an apple

His live standup is (was??) great!

@@askelvis I saw his standup show several years ago. He was fabulous. My cheeks hurt from laughing so much.