journal with me 🌱 hello, old friend 

"my friend Connor" I just awed so hard.

This is genuinely one of the most beautiful things I've seen not just today, but generally on RU-vid. Your lighting, your voiceover, your amazing, creative, soothing spirit - your video came to me in a moment of sadness and made it better. Thank you.

Hi. I’m new here, so the time away and the apology don’t apply to me. But I knew in the first five minutes that I was gonna stick around. I’m also in Seattle, just moved almost a year ago, and subsequently had to deal with the worst depressive episode of my life. I started seeing a therapist. I started antidepressants and I got a new apartment and things are looking up. I just wanted to thank you for being so open and honest about your mental health, and for being such a warm, soothing comfort to watch. You’ve got a new fan. Or a new friend. See you next video!

I love the way you normalize depression and anxiety and how open you are about your "cycle" of depressive episodes and being down on yourself. It resonates so much and is inspiring. Keep being exactly who you are

You always feel like such a safe space. When you asked how we've been doing, I just about starting crying. Thank you for your vulnerability

I think the background noise of all the places and such adds more to your videos, makes it feel more personal to me at least Love the energy of this months bullet journal 💛 hope all is well today

Omg “my friend Connor” oh my little heart 🌹

the beginning of this made me tear up a little bit? love you cheyenne and I hope you're doing alright. I haven't even gotten 40 seconds in and the editing made me emotional and I had the urge to tell you that we love you and it's good to see you again

all i want is for Chey to drink enough water and get good sleep and to know that getting so much content out to us is less important than her health because we love her

Chayenne, I missed you so much and I'm happy that you're back and coming out of the dark and that I get to hear your voice again while I also get on with things (which I know it's a weird thing to say cause I get shy about leaving comments on videos and rearely do so, but I've been watching for a while now, so, as good time as any to say "hello!). You know, hearing you talk (and I loved the Van Gogh quote, by the way), I sudddenly remembered a quote from a Doctor Who cristmas special (it was "A Christmas Carol") in which the narrator says: "On every world, wherever people are, in the deepest part of the winter, at the exact midpoint, everybody stops, and turns, and hugs, as if to say "Well done. Well done, everyone! We're halfway out of the dark." Back on Earth, we called this Christmas, or the Winter Solstice." And I like to think about that even when it's not winter you're halfway out of, but yourself (or myself) halfway out of a spiral, halfway out of the dark. So glad you'll be on stage soon, keep us posted :)

i've probably watched this 30 times because it's one of my favorites to just put on while I'm working on homework or doing the dishes or whatever. thank you, chey. your videos rock.

honestly I’m so proud of you. I really noticed how hard you tried to be positive in this video and be gentle towards yourself and it’s so inspiring. Thank you.

even though i can never remember the way, i do always find my way back. i appreciate you so much cheyenne, you make my soul light up, and i can't thank you enough for that.

physical habits are important but mental habits are even more important, the way you talk to yourself is the most important. be compassionate to yourself and talk to yourself as if you are your own best friend, because you are! you are the physical manifestation of love, you are perfect regardless of how much you accomplish. take care of yourself. so much love from sweden

Okay so I found this video when I needed a distraction from my suicidal self, and I'm so happy I clicked on this video. Hearing you talk about everything, struggles and other thoughts, just made me so much calmer. Idk but your video just made my day a little better. thank you

I feel like I'm going to need a few weeks (maybe months) to process all the things you just made me feel, and think, and realise. What an inspiration you are to me. I'm glad you've returned, and I hope you feel our welcoming arms around you in a warm embrace. xx

i just finished a whole day of intense studying for my phonology final and saw that you had uploaded this and instantly a part of me relaxed. now i'm about to sleep but first i had to watch you create, because it never fails to calm me down. i dont know if its the process of seeing how you work things together so armoniously or your voice or probably both but i want to thank you for all of it. and actually, i never left a comment before even tho i come to you channel pretty often, but it was because of you that started bullet journaling. i hope you have days as bright as your soul 💛

This is such a relatable video. I'm glad you're vulnerable and open enough to talk about it. You're allowing us all to feel like it's OK to be human and to struggle. You've also given us a glimmer of hope and can lift us with your creative talents and abilities to translate this to such a public platform. Congrats to you on being a torch carrier. You're lighting the path for a lot of others. YOU STAY BRILLIANT. Sometimes that brilliance can feel like a double edged sword.

listening to your voice is so therapeutic, it calm's me and makes me think of good things. If i'm having a bad day i just binge watch all your videos, it is the best thing ever. I'm sooo glad that you're feeling better,take care of yourself and hope you are always happy.

"I'll talk to you soon. Stay brilliant." Gosh I missed that 💕

you and your videos have an unexplainable warmth to them, it's so cozy and homey and I love everything you create so much

I'm thankful you are so genuine. watching your videos, specially the artistic ones (bullet journaling and drawing) is always so calming to me! and hearing your words is also a reminder for me to be gentler, kinder to myself. keep going on, Cheyenne. you are an incredible human being 💛

I just want to say I've recently found your channel and fell in love. Especially after this video. You somehow managed to verbalize a lot of what I go through and its nice to hear it coming from someone else and know I'm not alone. When you talked about how when you come out of an episode, you try to throw yourself back into everything at once and expect everything to be easy and perfect and then end up disappointed, I literally got teary-eyed because I struggle with this so much and knowing that its not just me dealing with it helps. It's so hard when you have all of these ideas and things you want to do and just can't find the strength or willpower to get them done. Thank you so much for being able to create content that can make some of us feel like we're not going through these things by ourselves! I know this is an older video but I hope you continue doing well and being able to do what makes you happy.

I'm so happy to see a new video from you! I've been going through a bit of a dark winter myself, and re-watching your videos is something that I've turned to when I needed to go somewhere warm and safe and bright. Sending lots of love and sunlight your way.

I’m right there with you about feeling like tomorrow is going to be the day I’m finally productive! and then wake up feeling blah and realize it’s just going to be another day. I beat myself up as well, even though I shouldn’t. I’m glad you’re finding a groove that works for you!! You’re inspiring me to get their too.

from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time and for being so raw and candid with us, because I'm sure I'm not the only one who can deeply resinates with your struggles. your videos always speak to my soul and tug at my heart strings, so thank you for all that you do. sending so much love your way, xx

I'm so happy to see your content again, especially your journaling and rambling! The music choice and the cadence of your voice is so relaxing, I love watching you create your spreads. You're always so genuine, its really inspired me. Thank you for the lovely video as always! Take care! :> (Also, I love how you invited us to make a tea along with you. I totally did and enjoyed it while I watched the video)

i love what you did with this video. i'm struggling with my own depression, but to have someone tell me it'll be okay is so comforting. i hope you have a wonderful month.

Thank you for talking about SAD and your sighs! It's so hard to find people like you who make me feel I'm OK ❤️

I've missed this so much! Your voice is just so calming and I literally rewatched all your videos just to hear it again. I love, love, love you and your videos. Don't worry, I know what you're going through 'cause I've gone through it too. Don't worry because things will get better. Maybe not now but they will eventually. Stay strong, girl!

It was so good to hear your voice and see your beautiful work again after a long time away! Know that even when you're caught up in the foggy shadows, you're still inspiring others to create and bring light to the world!

I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I love that you are comfortable enough to share your struggles. You are truly an inspiration and it means the world to know I am not alone in having similar feelings. I’ve also been going through a very rough few months and having videos like these help me so much. Thank you for sharing 💕

The fact that you're willing to depict your life so honestly means alot, it also shows that you're human and someone that is genuine. I'm new to your channel and I already know i'll be sticking around. Thanks alot and goodluck 💖💖💖

This video brings me a soft sort of calm right now..🍃 It's so refreshing that you're so honest and open and emotional on the voice-over, with the soothing video in the background. I feel like I can breathe properly. Stay awesome!

It’s so good to have you back. Thank you for getting me into TAZ. I have a group of people I play d&d with now and it’s such an amazing creative outlet for me. Thank you for your constant openness regarding your mental health. It makes me feel less alone. You’re an incredible person and I hope today is good to you.

it's so nice to see a journaling video of you again! they always calm me so much. (you have no idea how many times i rewatch your video's whenever i'm feeling stressed or down, they really are a safe space to me) please stay kind to yourself and take everything one step at a time. stay close to the things that make you grateful for being alive here and now. love you

First comment ever aaaaaa. But I just wanted to let you know that your videos resonate with me deeply; and not just the creative journal side. Your honesty about your mental health too. I am currently going through a very dark period but hearing you were posting this, then it actually going up made me feel the calm 'ok it'll be good again soon' feeling I have been waiting for & then hearing yourself coming out of the same thing makes me feel ultimately a thousand times less alone. You're truly a unique human being.

Your Videos are so great, whenever i get to see a new one or even just rewatch an old video of yours it feels so calming. The mood your videos set is just so calming and relaxing and even just hearing you rambling like you do sometimes relieves so much of my daily stress and anxiety. Thank you, truly.

Your voice is so calming. It literally makes me feel like I can breathe and relax. I did tear up a bit watching your video and the things you discussed. Please don't forget that you are an amazing human being. I am so so so so glad your back, we missed you! Love you Cheyenne! 💛 Whenever you do read this comment, I hope you have or had an amazing day! 💛💛💛

I love that way that your videos always feel so much like a letter that's personally written to all of us, and it's so lovely !!

Journaling helps a lot with depression, it helps you to process it and move forward. Always remember it may not be much but your videos and your works got me into journaling, and I imagine I'm not the only one here, so you're helping out a lot. Love you ♥

welcome back!!! totally feel you with how absolutely horrible this winter was. seasonal depression was genuinely the worst, my bullet journal was not doing great, only making me feel worse. first year in college, came back for my second semester and it was ..... rough on me. i havent been myself and cant even explain it to other people. trying to get out of it, trying to do things for myself, working out, idk. just doing as much as i can to help myself instead of putting myself down. :) happy you're feeling better and happy you're back!

I'm finding this video during what I hope to be the beginning of my ascent out of a depression. It's always helpful to find people feeling the same things as me when I'm in a bad way. It reminds me that my feelings are valid. Thank you for that.

I don't think I've ever come across someone being SO REAL on their video. Thank you so much. I am currently going through an episode myself and I've found art journaling has really helped me reconnect with myself. I really appreciate you talking about your struggles, and the advice your friend gave. You've gained a new subscriber here 🧡

this is so genuine. and i am so grateful for that. thank you for sharing part of your being with the world. about the wanting to be productive and for things to go right, right after a depressive episode, I totally get that. I've felt that for such a long time and in the past year I've been very mindful of it and figured out how to avoid this depletion after I don't meet the expectations i set for myself. I've figured out that when I get very inspired I tend to forget to do the simple necessities that I need to do to take care of myself because I feel so good in that moment and don't think I need self care. but doing self care when i feel good is one of the things that has helped my mood stay stable. journaling, breathing, taking moments to relax, and things like that when you feel good or bad are so important. :)

You're videos make me so happy and calm! I couldn't have asked for a better Thursday treat! Keep being you Cheyenne! I love you!!

Please upload more videos like this. It’s so relaxing to watch and I love everything about this video, the quotes, the lighting... I hope you’ll feel “wholesome” again❤️

I love your videos so much, so glad you are back! And I am glad you are finding yourself again. I know the struggles and you are an inspiration to keep going. Thank you for your words and sharing your creativity.

I really admire how fluent you are at talking, I make bullet journal videos too but I could never just sit and do a voiceover in one sitting like you do for these and your instagram lives. It makes you vulnerable and genuine and lets us in as viewers which is very powerful and is not something I've been capable of so thank you for how raw your videos are

I love how raw and real you are being with not only us, but yourself. I’m praying for you and your struggles. You are so strong and please keep pushing through! You are so creative and fun to watch, and I adore your realness. God Bless you, beautiful human. You have a new subscriber :)

So glad to see you back. I go through the same thing with my bullet journal. You can tell just by looking through it which months my depression had taken the strongest hold. Not because I write about it in there, but because of how the journal itself looks. Some spreads are delightful and thoughtfully composed and have so much work put into them, and others are sparse with just a couple of to do lists and no pictures. Then for a few weeks there will be nothing at all. Those are always the darkest times. It feels like a triumph just to pick the journal back up again, because it means I am feeling up to making something beautiful. As always, I'm proud of you, and I love you and all the things that you create. You are a daydream come to life! We all missed you here on RU-vid.

i've been watching a lot of your videos lately, because you are genuinely one of the loveliest and most calming people i've ever found on this platform, and that kind of content is very much needed at the moment. lots of love to you xx

Thank you for sharing such a personal, honest and vulnerable story! Most of us can emphasise with what you are going trough (though it may be in a lighter way), and I think that many people can benefit from just listening to you. Being able to talk about it so openly indicates how strong you must be underneath all the scary feelings. Best wishes to you and hope your show was/is a success.

Wow! This was amazing in the sense that it was cute and cozy. I felt like you were leaving me a voicemail or something and thus, very comforting! I felt so at peace watching this because I’ve also been struggling with my anxiety to the point where it added up to depression. So self-care has been at the top of my list lately, so I’m glad you took time for yourself. Don’t ever feel like you have to apologize! Welcome back, Cheyenne!

I feel the same,I can totally relate to you.I wacth a lot of yt videos on studying,how to stay organized,focus,be productive...I always think that the next day I'll be productive, I make a list of all the things I want to accomplish but then I don't do it and consequently I feel frustrated,guilty,useless,etc. Like why a lot of people can achieve a lot,have that force of will,bravery to go get what they want,and I can't. On a brighter note,your journal is a piece of art

Thank you for your rawness and honesty. It's so comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. Sending so much love your way :)

Your voice just fills me up with nostalgia. Like a home that has been waiting for me.

I just found your channel. I was looking to creative bullet journaling videos to help me climb out of a depressive episode. I watched several of your other videos before seeing this one, and then this one hit me hard... I could tell instantly you weren't feeling well. But I can really relate to the things you've said. Thank you for being vulnerable and talking about this. It is inspiring to me and does help others who are going through something similar. I really appreciate this. ♥

I am so relieved that you're here. I watched your last video a few days ago and have been feeling some anxiety of when we're going to hear from you. You're going to be in my thoughts.

I love your transparency about why you’ve been gone & where you’re at as a person. The world of RU-vid can be very inauthentic & I absolutely love your videos because they feel like my artistic journey. Keep your chin up love! We’re here for you!

i hope you know how much these vids mean to me! i just found you and ive been watching all of your videos. i identify and connect so much with the thoughts you express in them! thank you so much for each and every one of these gems!

hey chey, I'm so glad you're back journaling and making videos. I just went through a pretty heartbreaking breakup yesterday and watching this helped me calm down so much. your voice is so lovely and calming and the lighting/general vibes of this video have helped me feel so much better. thank you, I hope you start feeling better, you deserve it.

I am so glad you are here being the silly and soo beautiful you. Seeing you journaling gives me so much rest and peace and I love you for that ✨

Your voice, your journal and the general atmospherre of your videos are akways so relaxing. Thank you so much I really needed this.

i literally never comment on anything in youtube but this video was beautiful. i hope you find your light again as we all see it in each of your videos :) sending love and light your way!

I watched this video yesterday and again today. I admire your bravery in sharing your experience with such vulnerability. Thank you.

Glad you're back!!! You're not the only one that uses the bullet journal for art therapy. I use it for planning, art expression and real journaling (venting/reflection) I haven't worked on it in weeks (cuz of moving, work, life) Today is bujo overload for me and it feels great. In addition, I'll go for a run and feel 💯

This is the first video of yours that I've ever watched but it honestly feels like coming home to an old friend. There was something so heartwarming and welcoming about this video 💕

Going through a tough time right now, on top of coping with what is probably my worst bout of depression so far. Thanks for being real. It helps.

whoaaa your vibe 🌻 just melted my anxiety away. thank you so much for sharing about depression & S.A.D. your openness & insights comfort me as I am just getting through it too. 🖤

im excited to see how your journal evolves and changes, i hope youll let us tag along! and im happy youre doing better - i hope this spring will be kind to you

Thank you Cheyenne, going through a dark time myself and I can so relate; from a mental state to not being that creative lately myself. Keep your chin up, we will still persevere this year!

The voiceover for your video is so personally touching, I don't know why but it's impressive. It makes you more real than most people in RU-vid. Loved this. Subscribed!

I could watch your videos all day and listen to you all day, your voice is so soothing. Hope you’re feeling better x

Aaaaaaa I'm so happy to see a new video!! Your videos and spreads are always so healing and inspiring to me and I'm so happy to see you back! Spring is coming, and the sun is on its way!!

this makes my heart ache, in the best way. thank you for your words, authenticity, & empathy. you remind me that someone else knows & feels just the same. thank you

I am so glad you are back to journaling, I have missed your voice and your inspiration! I don’t think I could do what you do in your journal. I am just a perfectionist that creative spark never seems to come but, working on it! I have to say despite the trolls on some of these media platforms, I feel truly amazed by finding you and the community that has followed you, such a creative space and a great outlet to see what people are doing with their creative minds! So, thank you for doing you.

Found this video and I feel you! I am also in the PNW, north of Seattle. And it can get to you. I tend to thrive in the rain, but like you said, the gray is just that. Gray. Makes you feel it. You've inspired me! I, too, have changed my bullet journal to more of a journal and the journal I've been using will be the last of it's type. I'm moving to a traveler's journal, which is long and thin. It suits me. I love this style of scrapbook journal. I see this was more than a year ago, I hope your play went well and that you are enjoying the leaves on the trees.

I am new to your channel but I am obsessed with your style of filming your videos. I feel so comfy watching you. I just hit the *subscription button*......I am rooting for you. I also deal with depression and anxiety..........thank you for sharing your life

Just stumbled across this video and I'm so glad I did. Just got a bullet journal and have been looking at journal videos all arvo and your journal, by far, is my absolute favourite. Can't wait to get to know you, l love how honest and open you are - I'm sure this is helping someone somewhere. Don't know if its the mood I'm in but I think I cried three times. I don't know you and you definitely don't know me but I just wanted to let you know I support you xx

i don't normally comment on things but this made me feel soo many things. I have been struggling a bit at the moment and the part about finding it hard to come back to yourself is something I relate to so much. I just feel so lost with my life and it's direction. This has inspired me and made me want to get back into journaling and working through my thoughts. Thank you so much for your content and just showing us your life. It's nice to see other people who feel and think similar things to you and realise that life isn't perfect all the time.

* Is sitting hear eating ben & jerries from the tub, with scented candles lit, hugging a childhood soft toy, watching this and crying * I had a very shot morning, a combo of mental illnesses and putting self destructive amounts of stress and pressure on myself, and I resonate so much with things you were saying, your content is so therapeutic, it's like an audio/visual blanket being wrapped around you. I hope both our mental states get better. Thank you for existing and doing the things you do!

This was such a relaxing video, was literally just sitting and drinking a cup of tea, listening to your voice and i felt so calm and cosy xx

This whole video is literally amazing. It was so beautiful & I was completely captivated by your story, the journal spread, lighting, all of it. Yes, I just discovered your channel lol & I’m in love with your soul. The way that you speak is lovely & you can tell that you speak from your heart. I have a bullet journal of my own, which I’m fairly new to, & your journal with me’s have given me inspiration for my own. I can’t wait to watch more of your videos & become even more inspired. “Stay brilliant.”💛

So happy you're back and doing better, seasonal depression is such a real thing. I went through that plus like normal depression in mid Feb and I'm still struggling to get over it. So I've also been ignoring my bullet journal since January, which is not what I want to do. Van Gogh is a great inspiring person to look at in times like these. Ugh I'm just so pleased you're back and doing well. Also these comments are so beautiful and helpful.

Girl, I've just gotta say a couple things because I just felt a whole lot in this video. First of all, hi - I'm new here so no need to apologize. 2nd, I also love and spill my tea on a far-too-regular basis so you're not alone. 3rd, you're warm scrapbook style of bullet journaling is so beautiful and is a style I don't see enough of so please keep it up. 4th, thank you for sharing about the darkness that you've been walking through because I just related so such a deep level. I have had a hard time admitting that I struggle with depression because I thought it would make me a "project". Listening to you talk though I realized that I have been walking through a very similar darkness that is so very hard to emerge from. I'm so proud of you for finding the strength to come back to yourself... I know how long of a process that can be and am walking the same road. Looking forward to seeing more videos in the weeks to come.

I just started watching your videos today and I have to say they are really lovely. I found your voice so soothing and nice, the airplanes in the background don't take anything away from your videos but compliment the music you have in the background. I hope your doing okay! I have seasonal depression as well and I have to admit NYC winters can be a bit rough for me and I have been considering moving to a sunnier place. Can't wait to watch more of your past videos and see what you put out in the future.

Yay! Another video! I really enjoy your videos. I hope you do keep moving forward. You're such a joy to listen to and I hope the happy moments outshine your grey moments. But it's ok to feel sad.

really enjoyed this!! it was so reassuring to hear you talk about how you don’t feel creative when you’re feeling down, i’m the exact same way and i always feel like i’m ‘wrong’ for not falling into the tortured artist trope. loved amnesty! i’m v v excited for dust!! hope you have a good day✨✨

Thanks for opening up about your mental health. I live in Seattle too and the winters always get to me as well. Thank goodness it's summer and we have gorgeous weather to enjoy for a few months!

still working thru my episode but this really helped today. that intro. your talk about your disappointments and shortcomings really hit home with me. thank you, thank you, thank you....

subscribed ! i hope you find happiness as quickly as possible . your a gem in my heart you inspired me to bullet journal. you also made me feel like im not alone in the way i feel . remember that the best is yet to come

this is so beautiful. i've been watching bujo plan with me for months and i'm not usually listening to what the person is saying. i just watch how they make the journal but with this vid, i just love listening to you and knowing somewhat your story. i hope you're doing okay now.

Such a beautiful spread, my goodness! Imagined myself at the countryside while watching this ♡

I am probably old enough to be your mum and watching and listening to you, makes me want to hug you, listen to you and tell you that you are beautiful and brave and that sometimes life is really hard (as you know) but there can still be beautiful times to experience. I hope you have people who can love you and support you when things are really dark and who can celebrate with you things are better (like now)... Much love to you x0x

Love love watching these videos of yours! There’s something so therapeutic about it and it’s comforting to know that I’m not always alone in how I feel/my emotions at times. Keep being you! I’m glad you’re on the upswing! :)

Thank you for being back! I miss this so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm so glad you're feeling better. I hope wonderful things are coming your way and that you feel even better soon. Have a nice day Cheyenne!❤

I'm glad that you're back. I have all the hope in the world that you'll keep on working toward that stability that can be so hard to find sometimes. You're doing so great! I just saw The Wolves performed here at my college and I know you'll be awesome. It's such a unique play and you're so well suited for it. I hope you enjoy the experience!

For a while, I have been wondering when you will come back. Not only did you come back on the first of a month, a type of fresh start/reset of life, but you blessed us with a 22-minute long video. I am so excited right now.