Same here! You described one of my issues perfectly. I didn't realize that most people's actions have selfish intentions behind them and so they assume everyone around them has them as well. I hardly ever have selfish intentions and since I used to think that everyone thought exactly like me, it never even crossed my mind that people thought I was being malicious on purpose. Because of this I had no filter and I lost many friends along the way from being completely misunderstood.
You have become my idol, I first saw this video in December of 2013...You made me become able to liberate myself and accept who/what I truly am, I can never thank you enough..Although I still have many issues to resolve, I am grateful that I know that there are many, many that are the same as ourselves out there and that we must understand these feelings, sentiments, movements within ourselves, thank you Karla McLaren, from the bottom of my heart!!! xoxoox
Very insightful! At 18:15 she explains anger based boundaries vs fear and sadness based boundaries. There IS healthy anger, where you hold yourself steady and stable.
I found Karla Mclaren years before I found nvc. I feel overjoyed that you have brought her into the NVC community. I think she could help us bring NVC to the next level! Thank you.
Wow, this was a very long video, and a bit tangential towards the end, but the way that she talked about boundaries with anger versus boundaries made by sadness or fear, was such an excellent and lucid explanation for how empaths need to incorporate that anger and properly use it.
Omg, I identify with this so much its crazy. I had to fight from crying it is so spot on. I feel like I am looking at myself all the things she describes. It really has helped me so much just this interview alone. I was feeling so lost, now I feel that I have some tools to help me. Its so fulfilling to watch this, I feel like every spoonful is feeding me more inside. I adore this interview. I feel the same exact way, validation is so comforting.
As an empath, my trouble came from thinking everyone could perceive what I could and I would expect people to understand "what I mean" instead of what I was actually saying. People always misunderstood me due to this because I was attempting to communicate emotionally with others that couldn't understand my nonverbal communication.
yes I also recognize that alot. I also find that I need to show more expression in my face/attitude to show what I think/feel because I start to realize that people just don't get it otherwise and I get misinterpreted. It's kind of ironic that we empaths have a hard time realizing that other people are not empaths and do not feel what others feel
I was listening while preparing dinner and consequently I gave about the first 5 minutes my full attention and then came back at 0:59 - and have listened till 1:05. Now I plan to listen to the entire interview - (but based on just these short intervals) - I clearly am wired in my though process and verbally described society then and now - future and it's so very remote to consider anyone thinking about anything - the way I do - I don't know - but I definitely must pursue more research on this Empath - and "me" - Wish I had an advisor - like back in college or a really "talented and knowledgeable" therapist. If anyone reads this and has good reference info - please share. Thanks and Peace!
Brilliant! Please be sure that this interview is shared with all students in schools across the land! I would create a study guide that centers around the interview and that can serve as a primer for our youth on how emotions are vital parts of our functioning and on how one can manage and direct our emotions in healthy ways!
Introducing this interview into the our school curriculums would help redress the "professionalization" of emotional self-examination and discovery Karla speaks of!
This is like a breath of fresh air to me, thank you Karla! I'm 30 years old and have never heard about this language of emotion even though it has been an incredible part of my life. It has become quite debilitating recently in a way that has been very difficult if not impossible for me to articulate before this video. Phew! I have such a greater understanding and will be buying your book! Thank you, again!
Karla is such an amazing beautiful human being. Her book "The Language of Emotions" is truly changing my life, I really recommend reading. Thank you so much for sharing this interview!
Brilliant interview. Thank you very much! I have just purchased the ebook by Karla. Going to start to read it right now. Thanks a million for posting here the video!
This is by far the bestest definition of Empathy. I have this habit of listening to things not being said …. N I thought I’m weird . There was this funeral n the guy who died , his son in law was crying profusely n the people around were feeling sad for him but deep down I knew he was acting . Ur explanation helped me understand I’m not weird , I listen to something don’t know what … I call that instinct. Thanks Karla
this is the best video ive watched on empathy. Karla explains everything so well that it exactly HELPS you and isnt just another video about what a empath is.. ^ loved it thank you
Wow, I too am an i path and you in the first couple of minutes made me realize something so important that I had never put together before. I always hear so much more of a persons story then anyone else. Exactly how you said it too! Other people will say, well, that is not really what they said, but, I know it was... I feel so much better knowing this, thank you.
I have always been sensitive to other's tone when they say something as well as body language. Becoming secure with myself and who I am has helped with this a lot but it was sure hard growing up. Now I work with others on an emotional level and see that my sensitivity actually is a gift ; D
I'm an HSP too, I feel a lot. I'm in an environment with 2 Aspergers parents in a rural location. During Lockdown, this has been VERY difficult...I don't know how to find a way forward...the isolation is the worst part and not being understood, validated etc. My Dad has been aggressive on 3 occasions as he's not able to talk through feelings, thoughts, etc. It's not making me feel safe, coupled with it being a shielding household...I'm worn out and feel very lost...
Brilliant inteview. Interviewer just shut up and let her talk (no hmms, yeahs, for sure etc). And she talked so good. Thanks for making this and sharing. Thumbs up and sub'd
school situation i understand that completely!!! was a pain back then thanks for this video such a great info of what empath is helps me allot with life.
ive seen this film a couple of times and it is well worth it . following it was a bit fast and concentrated ,best to watch it in parts so it is easly digested.
Thank you for a couple if not more epiphanies while watching this video haha. Sarcasm is anger, I love that! I've been so sensitive to sarcasm and everyone tell me I'm just not getting the humor, and I should get over it, but don't take a moment to notice the anger in it.
I have read Mclaren's book and I did tremendously benefitted from writings. I just WISH this video is closed-captioned or transcribed into a document where I can read what Karen spoke.
Yesterday I was in Walmart and I started seizing up, my jaw was a vice. I wanted to run out the door. I had forgotten I pick up other's feelings. I have to remember to ground myself. It had become automatic and unconscious to ground myself and to know what is me, and what is the other.
Wow what you said about being in school as a child reminded me of myself 25 years ago. About empathy being sensitive towards everything makes me now wonder if my son is an empath. He is diagnosed aspergers but due to his over sensitive nature and sometimes easily over simulated..
Here is talk about shame, yes to a certain point the Ability for shame is good, but feeling shame is destructive. Shame = point towards self, "I am bad" = destructive, leads to depression, violence, crime, addictions etc Guilt = point towards behavior, "I did something bad" Leads to making amends (sometimes can escalate to shame, and sometimes pointed toward something you're not responsible for, but guilt is the useful to making amends part of all this) Check out Brene Brown for more info
I'm also an empath. I just found out by watching this.. Sad, I wish I knew sooner also I have some serious boundary issues haha. Maybe I should get the book.
Just remember that reading the signs does not equal knowing the story... Being an empath does not mean being always able to help and always knowing the solution.. You are not playing God, you are only being able to speak a language of emotions..
I don't know what my problem is. Im 15, female. People tell me i'm intelligent but I can't handle school. I am in gate classes and things went great at first but then things just started to fall apart. I feel physically drained everyday. No energy to do anything. So one day I just didn't do my homework and after that I just couldn't face my teachers. feeling there disappointment would be too painful so I just started skipping school. I feel extreme anxiety when it comes to what people think about me. No one understands me but I always help other people and know exactly how to help them. I don't think I am and empath but I also don't think I am a hsp. I struggle with atypical depression also. I feel like I cant escape my body and I feel trapped. I binge eat because I don't know how to handle the emotions and embarrassment I feel all the time. Past experiences of embarrassment haunt me daily and the thought that someone else has ill feelings about me or doesn't like me kills me inside.
My dad's sister just died (the funeral's in a week) and now for the last two weeks I've been feeling everyone and even though I think it's very sad, I'm not crying myself. But I AM. And it's not my feeling. This sucks so bad. I'm almost angry and frustrated right now because my chest hurts and my skin tingles, it's hard to breathe. But it's NOT my emotions. This is really annoying. I know it's hard for the sister's husband and my dad, but I don't want to feel them. It ruins MY day, damnit :/
I heard in another video that empathic and empathetic was the same thing, just that empathic was the original version. By what I've learned from Kristin Neff, I think what I hear here on empathetic means being sympathetic and compassionate, or am I wrong?
You say you've never considered yourself to be selfish... but then "I used to think that everyone thought exactly like me". Surely that's part of the selfish intention that you write about? It's a interesting dilemma because how can we live without being selfish? Maybe being part of a community or group is the best way to think outside of oneself. I don't know :-)
it's funny, I've had to stop the video every few minutes to be able to let everything she's saying sink in so it doesn't overwhelm me. I guess she's speaking "empath" so only empaths understand- from the comments I've read, that seems to be the case.
Where he says he doesn't feel heard, I totally get and feel like that too but not because of incessant talking (That was useful to know) but due to them being emotionally unavailable, they often just walk off or don't look at me...I feel very invisible around them and end up shutting down.
May I explain it a littler clear'er? you can have empathy for some one but that doesn't mean your personality is empathetic towards everything this kind of personality picks up on the unseen they pick up on ques body language moods PAIN is big one not only mental pain but physical pain where the Empath's feels the pain of another they pick up intuitive information more then most and understand personality's better then most so they pick up on liars and cons they tend to see the bigger picture
You do know she has gradually become a skeptic. In searching for her name I found an article written by her in 2004 skeptical enquirer volume 28-3 She was explaining how difficult it was to leave tha safety of the new age and change to skepticism. she apparently had no idea of critical thinking but she was using cold reading but did not that. Mediumship is real but there a few new age practitioners which should be examined before taking them seriously
his mother needs satifaction to her emotion when she ramble on i think she need proffesion help she traumatizing her self over and over and need to forgive and let go after her heart is healed
Marta Escobar that's typically me 😅.. But i've learned the hard way, through lots of anger and depression, just to hold my ground and not only recognize the boundaries that i need for myself, but to speak that out.. 😊 Trust me it's a world of difference, i feel stronger and more put together.
Believe me of my heart, me too, I try to remind myself that they have not grown in that area, and when I put myself in their shoes and look again to try to see from their side, my pain begins to dissipate and I can work on healing my wounds.....
