I remember the first time I heard this song. It was live and the room was so quiet. I talked to Kate after the show and told her that this song was going to change the world and people are going to resonate with it. I’m so glad it’s out for everyone to listen to and to share their stories, though it does make me sad that most of us have been judged and traumatized for just living in our bodies.
Wow. I'm speechless. As a dad of an 11 year old daughter, this hits hard. And the video...damn. This song should be tearing up the charts and winning awards.
This song is literally therapy for me. Thank you. For letting us all know we aren’t alone and for having the strength to share your story through music ❤
Whether it’s being called “fat” or “stupid” or “ugly” or any other hateful word, it stabs you in the heart and you always carry the pain. Someone told me that in “childhood seeds are planted but the harvest goes on for years!” I have ADHD. I NEVER bullied anyone for being overweight or a different color or for being stupid or whatever else there was to use against them. I didn’t like how it made me feel and I just didn’t like doing that to someone else. I was always told by many of my elementary school teachers and sometimes even by family that I wasn’t smart, I was stupid or “wouldn’t amount to anything.” One teacher said, “I’m not here to waste my time with stupid kids like you! I’m here for the success stories and you’ll never be one of them!” I was 11. I became a nurse. I didn’t change the world in a huge way but the way I changes it for one person here and there was enough. I’m nearly 60 and I remember those things that the teachers said and all the other cruel things people said even now.
I think this is beautifully said. This song resonates in so many ways. I was bullied for being gay in a similar way before I even knew what gay was. I never made fun of anyone for being gay because I knew that no one deserved to be treated that way, but I didn't want to "come out" even though I was identified as gay by others. Boys would "flirt" with me to make fun of me. They identified me as gay then made fun of me for it. I never would have thought being gay was bad had they not made me feel that way. I took a long while to come out because I didn't want to be the thing they made fun of me for. I came out when I was 22 years old. That's pretty late, but I'm happy that I realized I am beautiful the way I am. I can't change that I'm gay, and the words of those kids who made fun of me will always be there. I'm the one who has the power to let those things effect me in a negative way. I always make sure no one is treated the same way I was treated by those mean kids, but I refuse to hate myself anymore when I didn't do anything wrong.
My grandma used to make me do weekly weigh-ins when I was 14 years old. Because of her I still struggle with eating disorders to this day. Thank you for writing your honest truth in this song! I’ve never felt so seen.
It's ok. Your grandmother had problems with her weight. I'm sorry she projected what she learned on you. You are beautiful just the way you are. Love you, even when no one else will.🥰🥰🥰
This hit me to the core. I never felt pretty because all the people told me that I wont be pretty or loveable unless I’m skinny. I lost some weight but still felt like it wasnt enough until i learned that the numbers didnt measure beauty. I still have huge body dysmorphia but its less than before. Thank you for this!
Damn, this song really hit home. I was 8 the first time my Dad and my peers started to make fun of me for being fat. I'm 34 now, still fat, still made fun of. People don't seem to realize that making fun of someone doesn't change that thing about them, it just changes their heart to be cold and broken. The amount of times I wanted to off myself because of it is countless. I couldn't understand why people wouldn't just leave me alone.
Thy lyrics, "I didn't know how to hate myself, until I learned it from someone else" speaks so intimately to the little girl in me who grew up feeling invisible, never welcomed, a nuisance to my parents, and unworthy. My struggle wasn't weight (it is now), but I want you to know that this song is about all the hurtful things we hear growing up. Thank you for your vulnerability and writing such a beautiful song!
I am autistic and large. This song hit so hard for me. When I was very young I was blissfully unaware of the outside world. Now I am all too aware of the hate of others. I didn't know being me was wrong till everyone I knew said it was. Thankfully now I have met a wonderful partner who loves me for me, no matter how unique or large
Wait a minute I though you were a famous singer influencer because of how good this was, The lyrics, the video! Amazing! How do you only have 1.6k! Amazing! Phenomenal music I will be sure to listen all of the time this is amazing! ❤
I was utterly amazed by her performance in Lancaster, Pa - opening for Girl Named Tom. It was great to meet you. My daughter was equally amazed listening to your EP. We will be seeing your performance in Philly 12/15, and hoping to meet you again!
It was about 2004, so MSN messenger was IT at the time. I was 16 or so. I got a message from a boy at school I thought was cute asking me if I'd want to go to on a date with him. I said yes. It wasn't even him, it was someone I considered a friend, who was at his house and decided it would be funny to do that to me, the guy didn't even know he had done it. Having people laugh in your face because they find it funny to humiliate you is an experience I'd wish on nobody.
Love this. I'm 28 and the last few years I've worked so hard to heal my little self I had an injury and started rehabbing my back, it turned into healthy habits and now weight is falling off. But I love how I look no matter what.
This is absolutely beautiful and unfortunately I don't think I know a single woman who won't relate to this. But what a powerful way to make them know they aren't alone and that the seeds of that negative self talk that most of us have struggled with our entire lives were not planted by us, but by others. And a good reminder of just how long lasting our thoughtless comments might be for someone else.
Kate this is beautiful and the timing is perfect from scene to scene! You can see all of your hard work. I feel like you wrote the song for me. It hits so close to home. You are spreading a valuable message and I love you for that.❤
This is so beautiful, sad and everything. I feel sorry for myself when hearing this, bc I always thought it was normal people called me names, till it wasn't. I grew up and feel "okay" wit myself now, but sometimes that little girl inside me cries. This song is perfect.
I’ve Never been heavy, Very athletically inclined , had lots of friends in school & always stood up for the kids that were picked on or pushed around…I hung out with a group of friends that wouldn’t stand for that…Listen to this song, it really got to me thinking that pain stayed with you for so long…and now reading the comments, you’re Not Alone. The difference from the ‘60’s/‘70’s and now is that back then, there weren’t many Heavy people in the schools compared to now…. Back then if you wanted to hurt someone’s feelings, you had to do it in front of them…now someone can be across the country and posting hurtful comments…. I’m not thrilled to be 60 but kids nowadays have to deal with social media, & it’s not good…. God Bless you and All the other’s on here that felt inadequate when people could have just been kind…
This song hits hard. For me it was my grandma who always kept telling Me how pretty I’d be if I lost a little weight. I was probably 155 in high school which now 25 years later in my 40s and a daughter of my own I would never allow anyone to speak to her about that. Also isn’t funny how we see as fat in school when we are teenagers vrs adults ? I look at photos of myself in school and see a perfectly fine young woman who got destroyed by everyone else before she learned who she was
I'm your age. We were all literally traumatized by the media we consumed when we were teenagers. Back when Rene Zellweger in Bridget Jones was supposed to be "fat". >:( I don't know a single Gen X or older Millennial woman who doesn't have body dysmorphia from growing up during the late 90's and early 00's when "emaciated" was the look and having any curves below the chest was a fate worse than death. I have a teenage daughter and I swore I would NEVER put myself down in her presence and I never did. Gen Z's got some wacky things going on and their mental health is not great in general (so not their fault) but one thing I'm proud of for that generation is that they're having none of the anorexic b.s. My family was watching a show a while ago and I suddenly realized that the women on that show had rear ends and thighs. They weren't rail thin, they were just normal and healthy. And it struck me just how much damage was done to us by the imagery we were surrounded by in the television and movies we watched. It permanently changed our brains and I am so, so angry over it. I don't let women put themselves down in my presence, either. This is such a beautiful song by a beautiful person and I'm getting the sense that so many of us needed it.
Wow! This really hits home. Still battling weight after all these years along with the mistreatment I endured even when I wasn't actually big, but told that I was. What a lovely voice! Thanks for sharing this.
Zacheriar, due to your lack of compassion, you may be required on your spiritual journey to reincarnate as a person who has an illness that causes you to be overweight regardless of how many hours you spend working out in the gym. You may have to experience what it feels like to have people tell you the same words you are posting here. Take heed. There is no light at the end of the tunnel you are walking and if you continue with this attitude, you WILL required to face the consequences.
Thank you so much for making this song. As someone who was bullied in late elementary school and all throughout middle school, including at my own bat mitzvah party (reminded me of the dance here), and who's struggled with similar experiences as a kid/teen and adult about my body, this made me cry. I'm sorry that you can relate, but it's helpful to feel less alone ❤ I'm still working hard on continuing to love myself and being comfortable in my body as it is, but I definitely carry all what you refer to in my body today, including an eating disorder. This made me cry ❤
And imagine the EVEN GREATER damage and trauma for Black girls/women who early on are bombarded with how “bad” their naturally kinky hair and brown skin are. Gets even worse the Fatter, darker skinned, kinkier haired the fem is. 🤦🏾♀️ - award winning author of the book On Fat And Faith: Ending Weight Stigma in Yourself, Your Sanctuary and Society.
It’s a blessing that there are songs like this. You should read the Curvy Girls series by Kelsie Stelting. It’s so uplifting to read the heroines in the books are people like us struggling with beauty issues. I have been contemplating writing my own series about a handicapped girl. People often tell me I’m ugly and so at times I would wear my mask even way past the end of the pandemic.
I still remember talking with my mum and brother about struggling with mental health issues and told them how it took years for me to gather the strength to tell my mum I have an ED. She said ‘I knew a long time before you told me’ and I just shattered. My own mum let me just be bulimic for years…
I heard the clips of this song on Instagram. I had to come listen to the whole thing. Little did I know, this video could have been me in school. Every day of middle and high school I was bullied for being fat. I remember one day in 7th grade, I had this new yellow zip up fleece. It was so soft, I loved the bright yellow. I walk down the hall in the morning to the first class, and this kid said “you look like a school bus” I never wore the sweater again. I don’t think I ever wore anything yellow after that. It took me over 10 years (after high school) to realize all my self esteem issues, my drug addiction, and self hate, stems from every day having people say horrible things to me. I never really said anything back I “ignored” it, like people always say. But ignoring them just made them do it more, to make sure I heard and knew what they said. When I tried to go to admin about it, the principal had me and the person I reported come into his office together and talk about it. All that did was make it worse. The kid was told not to talk about this to friends, but the first thing I heard when we had class together, was “oh we better not say anything to Jamie or she’ll go tattle on us” I still deal with mental health issues from this. When people say “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me” haven’t ever experienced bullying at the level a lot of us have.
Had tears in my eyes when I heard it... brought up so many memories of all the discrimination and h8 and shaming in school and after... also reminded me of the ambivalent discrimination I still have to fight today because people (even doctors!!) reduce me to my BMI (which is btw a random number calculated from two numbers which have NOTHING wse to do with each other) and try "to help" me with absurd, nonscientific diets and expensive 🙄 fitnes programs... it is outrageous... your song really touched my ❤ I hope one day people finally overcome animal instincts and become HUMANS ❤❤❤
This definitely rings. Unfortunately I wasn’t 12. I was much, much younger when I was forced to realise how the world saw me because of my size. I’m starting to finally feel like I can work through it though. I feel like I hit my bottom point and really want to get to a healthier size. Don’t care if I’m always going to look big anymore. I need and want my health back. I’d like to finally feel good looking in a mirror at myself for once in my life.
I love this song and what you're offering! I'm curious why the young you is actually not fat? Is that the point? I often look back at times I thought I was big and was like . Um.. no, I wasn't. But just curious on your intention!
Same girl, my grandma did the same thing to me! Same age as well… always been told I was pretty but … there was always a but ! I’m not much older , much heavier(after 5 full term pregnancies , 3 losses and currently pregnant) and I look at picture of my young self and I wish I could tell her that she is enough, no but! She deserved all the good things and all the love 💕 and so do you and your young self ! Much love to you Ps: you have an amazing voice and thank you for sharing this
My nan said she'd by me a whole new wardrobe of clothes if i lost a good amount as a teen. I used to go to middle school and either eat just an apple a day and pick at dinner, or binge and eat all the junk. I dated a guy in school for 18months who eventually told me he didnt like me that way to start with, but felt it'd look bad on him if he turned me down. Early 20s dated a guy who started out nice about my size but then turned nasty. I dropped over 60lbs living off soup for 5 months and then i didnt have enough to love. Done changing my body to suit others, I'm only doing it for me and my happiness now
I just wanna Hug her. I too went through this. Almost ended my life for it. I lost the weight but I’m still not happy in my body. I never will be 😭only difference is my mom cared. I’m sorry Kate
Recently my family had been joking about me being fat because of my upper arms being big and among some other stuff I've been tearing up to this song for half an hour now, I feel unworthy and ugly when I look fat
I was 9 when I went to my first ww meeting then it was this and that a lot of tears turn 25 lost a lot of weight thinking it would help me find a husband but no then I gain it back and then found a man who loved me for me no matter what size this song hit home I am 60 now and don't give a f*** what people think or say I love myself and that is what matters
I’ve been overweight since I was a toddler. The second I went into kindergarten other kids called me fat and/or ugly. And it hasn’t stopped since. I’m about to turn 46. I look back at pictures of myself as a kid/teen and I’m not big at all. Just had the rotten luck of hitting puberty when heroin chic was height of beauty standards. I’m 5’4” and back then, I was around 170lbs. I was not fat, I just had tits and ass. Meanwhile the other girls all were waifs like Kate Moss. Now I am morbidly obese and despite many diets, I have always gained the weight back and then some. Plus, I never lost more than 20lbs. All the women in my family are either big or obsessively working to not get big. It’s in my genetics on both sides. Add physical disabilities (a pain disorder) and mental ones (autism to start) and there’s no way I’m not just gonna be fat my whole life.
I’m trying to not melt down crying hysterically right now. It’s painful to think about how awful growing up like this was, as a “fat” kid/teenager. I wasn’t even FAT as a kid or preteen, I just had a little extra weight… but I remember trying to diet when I was 12 years old. And the mean boys at school, especially this POS named Rob in 7th grade. He used to sing the Tina turner song “Rolling on the River,” about me, in front of other kids in class, to imply and make fun of my “fat rolls.” It was brutal.
My stepmom also made comments about my weight, and she and my father would make fun of fat people. It’s so crushing to think back to how much that affected me and made me HATE myself. I thought I was literally worthless bc I wasn’t skinny.
This comment thread is pathetic. Teaching people its ok to be fat is disgusting. Also fat phobic isnt a thing. No one is afraid of your fat they're disgusted by it. Huge difference.
Zacheriar, Dr Brandt and Reichsführer Heinrich Himmler would certainly agree with you. The way you are speaking here deliberately trying to shatter the hopes of others, leads to a very dangerous dark path with the same dark intentions as those who were involved in Aktion T4!
Your intentions are setting subtle but sure cosmic laws into motion that will determine your future: Whoever you hate intensely, you will have to become. You will be forced to walk in their shoes so you will understand what it is like to suffer the things that you are judging others for.