Story 1: Not only was the prank mean, it was also dangerous. I don’t know what area they live in but kidnapping is a thing, and a 19 year old girl should know better than to leave a 15 year old girl outside alone with no phone for hours in the middle of the night. Who knows what could have happened?
Not only that, but it's possible, depending on where they are, she could have risked freezing to death or losing body parts (fingers, toes, nose) to frostbite.
Also, if it’s in the middle of winter like she said, that could also be dangerous to to her health as if she out there long enough, temp and clothing, she could freeze to death from hypothermia…. Even if her sister was annoying her, why didn’t she just lock her door instead, that would have solved the problem without putting her in danger as she would eventually get tired and leave
Can't feel bad for an annoying person who knows that they aren't liked. It was extreme but I have to sympathy for her. Not much older than her, if I was stuck outside and I felt unsafe, the neighbors are right there.
@@xcorpionz922 Not saying this is the case in this scenario but where I lived as a child growing up our closest neighbors were over a mile away and in our winters that was usually over a mile of snow. Not everyone has neighbors close by and not all neighbors are friendly.
First story: I first assumed that Mary and Katie were a lot younger, but after going back and hearing their ages, I think that both parents failed at parenting. Bad apples all around. Second story: Girl, run! this is obviously going to cause problems later on. Good apple.
I have been yelled at and bullied by parents when I taught fourth grade (6 pm- no admin. to back me up). When parents behave like that, you don't owe them anything. I 100% applaud that parent that stepped in to protect the teacher is a hero, and there is nothing wrong with the teacher going along with it. Again, you don't owe people respect who won't show you respect.
I agree with this however they will continue to have issues with the mom as Avery said. Perhaps at another date mediation with admin could improve the situation. I’m kinda inclined to also agree that lying isn’t ever the way out. However, we are reasonable people, this doesn’t seem to be a reasonable mom and that’s what we can’t understand.
@@tamydillon6910 There is no way I would ever be in the same room with that parent without an admin there. She was a bully. The other parent allowed a safe way for the teacher to get out of the situation. It wasn't a lie as much as a matter of safety. That teacher has nothing to feel guilty about. If I were her admin, I'd compliment her and the other mother on their quick thinking and tell the bully parent the only way she would be allowed to have contact with the teacher is via email or a meeting in the admin's office. Really, what is the mom going to say? "I wasn't done screaming at the teacher then she lied to me to get me out of there"? I was once in a similar situation. The bully parent was getting angrier and more abusive even when I calmly reminded her her daughter wasn't even in my class anymore and her new teacher had made room in her schedule to speak with the parent. I did actually tell her someone who did have an appointment was waiting, but she didn't care. When she did finally leave, she left a parting shot with a threat screamed from down the hallway. The parent outside my door told me she was about a minute away from going in to save me. Because I was in a portable classroom with six rooms, there was no admin anywhere near us, so the second parent or one of my colleagues were the only options.
Agreed. I was really surprised that Avery as the husband of a teacher still gave that last story a crabapple. Screaming at a teacher is not okay-screaming at anyone is not okay, and there’s no way this was an isolated incident. It definitely explains why this child assumes that if he’s being redirected it means the teacher doesn’t like him. Poor kiddo.
The only thing I have to say on this is that if the teacher didn’t lie she would have been 100% in the right. She could have told the abusive parent, “Okay I’m going to talk to this woman now, so you need to leave.” In that scenario, even if there was no conference taking place, the teacher never lied. It’s how you word it!
Story 1: when explaining why the victim is the bad apple, it was never stated that she was invading the sister's room. Just that the sister told her to leave them alone. I would say it's just as likely that the adult sister was using common areas and telling the child victim that she wasn't allowed to use any common areas while the friends were over. I cannot fault a younger sibling for acting like one. I can fault the ADULT sibling for locking a CHILD outside for hours.
Also, the parent got home and treated the ADULT siblings stuff as the ADULT chose to treat his CHILD. The adult sibling is guilty of child endangerment. Period. The adult sibling got their things dirty. oh no.
When you don't like someone, you oblivious act like it. She probably has her own room. It was night so she should be yk, sleeping and leaving her sister alone. Can't feel bad for an annoying person. Having friends over, night shifts, neighbors coming over to see the drama. Sounds like a good living place. If you feel unsafe then ask for help, bang on people's door. That's it.
@@xcorpionz922to justify putting a 15 yr old outside because they won’t leave you alone is absolutely ridiculous. No matter how frustrating it is if she had been kidnapped and murdered that 19 year old would have felt terrible. It’s called being responsible and maybe idk locking the door to your room since you obviously know how to lock the front one on her for hours.. idk just a thought
@@jojojohnson2000 The older sister obviously didn't like her and had made it obvious, yet the 15 year old still pushed. A slumber party sounds a very much privilege thing, so it wasn't a bad neighborhood to just knock on a neighbor's door. If they let the 15 year old kept bothering people without consequences, she will eventually piss off the wrong person. And as I said, can't feel bad for annoying person, and she must have been quite an annoying one for no one in the house to let her in.
I agree with Rebecca on the first story except about Mary being a bad apple. We don't know how/if Katie expressed her frustrations with Mary prior to this explosion. To me, this read like a situation that was allowed to simmer and escalate by the parents. Mom and dad should have stepped in long before this happened and helped Katie to set reasonable boundaries and helped Mary respect those boundaries.
Well the letter does say Katie has repeatedly asked Mary to leave her alone in past. I completely agree that parents should have stepped in much earlier
Yeah that last story, good apple. It's the same thing as if some creeper is making you uncomfortable in public and a kind stranger comes up and goes, "Oh hey, there you are! Come on, we're going to miss the movie" and you both play along like you know each other. That other parent saved you. Good apple!
3rd story: the OP made is seem, to me, that the step daughter asked to use the beach house first and was told yes. Then the OP took that back when his daughter decided she wanted to stay there but didn't want her step sister there. I don't think he is a good apple.
If I remember correctly, the stepdaughter was a partier and Emma was not. She was worried about something happening to the house, and not being able to focus on her schoolwork. I think the dad told her that she could stay there if she found a friend to live with her, and she agreed to that.
Watching 15 mins after you posted, woo hoo! I love and enjoy your channel, Rebecca, keep on posting these great videos that inspire us to be better humans! You rock ❤
Story 1: Seeing that Katie was 19, a legal adult and presumably the guardian figure for minors at the time, and Mary is a 15 year old minor, seems like a possible child abuse case. It was not for an hour midday, this is tossing a child on the street. Katie is a not a bad apple but a rotten apple. Period...... This is a lesson to people a out neighbor relations though. You should know at least one neighbor enough that your child feels comfortable running to them for help in emergencies, no matter the time. It could save a life one day.
Story 1: Imo I think the father is a crab apple cause even though he was being dramatic and childish, he was being dramatic and childish *as a reaction to his daughter being placed in an extremely dangerous situation.* I also don’t think a simple apology from everyone will be enough and I think from what I’ve seen that Katie needs professional help. There’s nothing normal about doing that to her step sibling and at her age she should have known how dangerous that situation was.
Story 1: While 30 min could be a "prank" in the winter, HOURS, especially in the winter & in the darkest/coldest time of the day was bullying. Its possible that they lived in a rural area & the closest neighbors were an hour a day. She may have also been afraid that OPs daughter would come to let her in while she is going to the neighbors, risking her chance to get back in. She also may have been in pjs, meaning its much colder, but also could be embarrassing to go to neighbors in.
#1) I have a 15yr old, yes they are THAT immature. They want to fit in almost at any cost. I do think she probably took it too far just to aggravate them however, there is zero excuse to leave a child outside for that long! They are all bad apples! #2) Ruuunnnn!!!! Big red flag!! Absolutely good apple. #3) I 100% say good apple. That house belongs to him and it is up to him to decide who lives there! His daughter is his #1 priority. #4) I agree with Avery, crab apple. 🍎🍏🍎🍏
Last story address a comment made by Avery: A classroom is not a controlled environment, unfortunately. We like to think of it as one, teachers do their best to make it one but when it comes to admin they have the final say in just how controlled the environment is. Getting admin does not guarantee your safety as a teacher or student at this point in our school systems. If the teacher's automatic defense mechanism told her to lie to get out of said conflict it means that her school is not a safe place and that Karens are allowed to Karen more often than not. You also never know with parents just how far they are going to escalate when they become that elevated in anger. As a teacher you must consider your own safety first. We live in a time where we have bulletproof backpacks and lawsuits that prevent any self defense whether it be verbal or physical. The lie was telling of the time and place she/we are in. She is the good apple.
I was thinking of this too since I also teach. If kids are being allowed to physically hurt teachers and staff and get zero consequences for it, what could a grown adult do? I’d be too nervous and take the offered help. That person is the best one to be at that school.
Story 3: I can near guarantee that Emmy (OP's daughter) is the study hound with the free ride scholarship, while Cara has the extroverted lifestyle and more lax grades. Cara may be not as wild as Animal House, but enough of a lifestyle that her friends coming over and getting loud will disturb Emmy's studying ability. Emmy is mature enough to know that party and private aren't going to be good roommates with each other (they might have already butted heads over things while staying at home), especially if one of them has more claim to the house since it's her father's. It's unfortunate that they can't stay under the same roof once they leave their parents to save on rent, but sooner or later they will have an argument and they will have to figure out who gets the boot.
First story: look, it's a bad bunch. But Katie is 19, OP is not a bad apple for not "making Katie apologize". Katie is an adult, mom can't make her do that
My thoughts on story #1 I definitely think the mom was a bad apple. Her 19 year old adult daughter locked a 15 year old (her step sister) outside and I think that also makes Katie a definite bad apple. I don't blame Freddie for becoming extremely upset with Katie and throwing her belongings out the window as he might even have been trying to show Katie what it feels like having the things you care about tossed outside so I give him a crab apple for that and he had the right to be livid. What Katie did to Mary was extremely cruel. Not only was she out there for hours but it's the middle of winter and I'm not sure the area they live in but Mary could have been seriously harmed by an animal for even taken by someone and Katie would have been legally responsible for that. I give the friends and step siblings all crab apples as I can understand maybe the friends didn't want to upset Katie by letting Mary back in and maybe the step siblings didn't want to get involved or in trouble when their dad came home but I'm not exactly sure. I totally think the mom and especially Katie are the bad apples, Freddie and the step siblings/friends are the crab apples and Mary is the good apple.
@@meganmcleod6152 That doesn't actually matter. Katie should have been the responsible one and told Mary to leave or at least locked her bedroom door not lock her outside where if something were to of happened to Mary, Katie, being an adult would have been reprimanded for it.
@@amandaperkins9100 mary is 15 she should know better and she wouldn’t have been helpless. clearly katie was fed up and couldn’t take it after telling her multiple times to leave her alone. i’m sure her room door didn’t lock and i doubt mary was outside for that long
@@meganmcleod6152 I agree Mary was being annoying but by locking her outside, Katie was only escalating the situation. Mary could have very well been helpless though. If they live out in the country, there might not have been any neighbors for Mary to go to. And one could argue that Mary was out there for short of 10 minutes or even up to so much as 6 or more hours.
Story 3; he told the stepdaughter she could live there first before rescinding the offer when his bio daughter decided she wanted to live there. It was shitty of him to say yes and then immediately change his mind
I don't see why they can't just live together. Like yeah, they're very different, but even in a college dorm you would be paired with people very different to you. 🤷♀️
@@joshmg25but she was going to be a grown woman and was going to own that house, there for she doesn’t “need to learn to share” her step sister needs to accept that the owner of the house has that choice and if she chooses “no you can not live in my house with me” then that’s the answer. She’s a grown woman if she doesn’t want someone living with her then she doesn’t period.
last story: I hate the mentality that lying is unacceptable in any situation. It is not this horrible sin. there are people who will not accept what is being told to them, and they do not deserve that level of calm and forthrightness. sometimes you have to use all the tools at your disposal to control the situation. That mom was going to be mad at anything that is said other than what she wants the teacher to say, so yes, if you don't have the mental strength to stand up to her, use the out.
This was my thought too. Lying is not necessarily a bad thing, particularly the white lie in this situation - it was a calm and simple way to end the situation
Avery is an attorney and is trained in confrontation, but a lot of people are not. Plus this idea that the mother will find out might be silly depending on the location of the school. In big cities public schools have hundreds of students. There is no way she will know other parents well, unless they are both in the PTA or something.
Agreed, if the screaming parent had decided to get physical they could've done a lot of damage before the teacher could've summoned help. The teacher had already explained what had happened and the parent didn't care. Normal parents don't act like this, especially not without finding out what actually happened. That parent was a threat and that situation needed to be deescalated by any means necessary. Other parent gave an out and the teacher was smart to take it. Who's to say the irrational parent would've left if teacher said or done so peacefully.
I’ll never lie to get out of trouble or to cover for someone else. But I’ll look you straight in the face and lie to you if it’s none of your business and you won’t take no for an answer.
#4’s “Rescue Lie” is as bad as arranging for a friend to call you 30 min into your date to give you the option to claim emergency & you must leave. In other words, *not bad at all.* You know what that random parent was? They were a FANTASTIC WINGMAN!! That’s what that parent was!
I love how well you involve your husband when he's a part of your video. He's so quiet, and you are so expressive. I have seen so many women just dominate the conversation over top of their reserved spouses. And you just have a way of really hearing him. It really seems like you care a lot about him. It's beautiful to see!
I think a complicating factor for 3 is how combined everything is financially with the couple. If they're not legally married but share finances, home, cars, etc then I can see some entitlement but that's really playing devils advocate
Third story: There is a very complicated set of considerations here. First, the biggest consideration is Emmy. She is going to be an adult. Part of allowing your child to become an adult is to give them autonomy over their lives. Emmy is setting boundaries for her own property. It may not currently be her house, but her father is treating it as if it's hers. I see that as him giving her the adult responsibility of being on her own. She has the ability to dictate who lives in her home. Second, OP has to consider his future relationship with Kara and her mom. The relationship could be very damaged by this. I think the amicable solution would be for him to explain that as of Emmy turning 18 and moving out, that is her home. She is in control of what happens in her home. The biggest thing that I think OP needs to consider when setting this boundary is then his own behavior. He also has to treat this as Emmy's home. He needs to also ask permission to come to her home. He needs to consider how he is being perceived in relation to the home. He needs to also respect Emmy's home. I think any reasonable person would understand that.
This is my favorite explanation of this situation and I completely agree. Since I have a friend like this who got her grandma’s house from her parents, I completely agree. It can work like this and be best for everyone long term.
I don't think the request from gf and Kara is bad. However, I think there is a complication of OP acting as Kara's father some of the time. As you said, it's complicated and the OP has thinking to do about his relationships. I can think of a compromise here: Tell Emmy that Kara could be a renter and still live there. A little extra money coming in for Emmy could sway some feelings of not wanting to live together.
Story #2: is it just me, or does anybody who insists on their partner doing/not doing something because it respects/disrespects them is instantly a red flag in any scenario?
I'm just waiting till there is a story with actual disrespect from the OP. Like how one story Rebecca read was about a woman acting innocent over wearing a red dress to a wedding
for the last story, if I was in the other parents position. I would have done the exact same thing. in some instances you have to lie, as a retail worker I know this well. and to save a teacher from getting unfairly yelled at, who would come to that teachers aid.
Story 1: Holy heck. Too many names, I should’ve gone back. First, I thought the 15 year old locked the 12 year old out. Then, I thought 12 locked 15 out when I realized 15 was the one out there. NINETEEN DID THIS?! Are you kidding??? The only one slightly off the hook is age 12 for maybe not wanting to get involved and get her sisters pissed. But even then it’s only a slightly less responsible. what on earth did I just hear.
I know it took me a while, I’ve been SUPER busy/lazy, but I’m almost done with my submission. Also I decided to change the names of the people involved to Power Rangers villains so don’t be alarmed when you see me refer to people as Lord Zedd, Empress Rita, Goldar, and Scorpina
As someone who is freshly 20, if I were at a friends house and they locked their 15 year old sibling (I also have a 15 year old sibling) outside I’d let them back in and not talk to my friend again because that’s so messed up. Also I can totally agree with Rebecca when she says that a 15 year old would definitely be too self conscious to go to a neighbors late at night because so would I! My sibling and I don’t get along at all but I’d never do that. The most I’d do is lock my door but my sibling understands not to bother my friends and I most of the time. I understand Katie being frustrated and Mary should understand she needs space, but what Katie did was awful. Also we don’t know what neighborhood they live in. What if Mary was kidnapped? Anyways bad batch but Mary is a saint compared to Katie. She should absolutely be punished
Not only would she feel self-conscious, but maybe even scared! If she wasn't close to her neighbors, a nice seeming guy could "let her stay over for the night" and something really bad could happen!!
Story 1: I 100% agree with Rebecca (sorry Avery). I am 15 and I can't imagine pestering someone after repeatedly being told to go away. I would expect that of a younger sibling but not a 15 yr old. Also, I can't imagine EVER locking someone outside in the middle of a cold winter's night, let alone an ADULT. Yes the extent is ridiculous in this story but even 30 mins outside would be wrong. Story 4: I agree with Avery. The parent was definitely a bad apple, not only was the child misbehaving and being rude, but also they were disrupting the lesson for all the other students. However, in terms of the teacher I agree with Avery's point of view and would go crab apple. What they did wasn't that bad but also probably wasn't the best way of handling things.
My tuesdays are so crazy and busy and I always forget that it’s apple picking day so every week opening up RU-vid after a long day and seeing these videos is the best surprise 🤩😂
I agree with the teacher taking the exit offered by the other parent. The Karen parent was entitled and irrational. Dealing with children and their parents is one of the worst jobs. Everyone thinks their child is an angel and would never do something, which is completely untrue. To come at the teacher like that is completely wrong. Yes you can be upset, and yes you can voice why you're upset; however, you don't get to dictate or scream at the teacher. Bringing trauma into a relationship will always be a thing as you can't just shake trauma off and forget about it. It affects everything, even if you've had counselling. A person can live a better and healthier life after counselling, but trauma changes us and our brains.
The fact that she is so kind she thinks she needs to apologize for her hair rubbing up against the mike which was an accident. That just shows you how kind and loving she is! We love you Becca, you are so nice kind and funny❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊 0:10
Story 3 - Emmy has a full ride scholarship. She need to keep her grades up to keep her scholarship. If Emmy is living with her "step sister" who is causing Emmy distractions from her school work or disrupting her sleep Emmy's grades could suffer causing her to lose her scholarship.
Story #3 - Crab Apple: The girlfriend and her daughter are asking for something reasonable that is not an imposition on him, but his daughter. He could ask his daughter to treat this as a learning opportunity in living with other people, since she may not always have the opportunity to live alone after school.
That and he has been in their lives for a long time. While legally, they are not together, on every other level, it does seem like he is a father figure despite Cara having an actual father. I'm sure it would be a little hurtful to his longtime girlfriend to hear that he is willing to potentially disrupt her daughter's future because his full ride daughter wants the beach house to herself? Also, if his girlfriend's daughter may have to change schools due to loans while he owns a beach house shows there are some economic differences here that could play a role. Idk just my thoughts.
Already the first story sounds like a bad bustle. Mary is the easiest one to sympathize with. She did not deserve being stuck outside for hours on a cold night. However I also understand that being pushy and ignoring her future sisters boundaries isn’t okay. (Bad apple. Still didn’t deserve that reaction though. ) I think you know my opinion on Katy after reading what I said about Mary. While I get how annoying it is when someone won’t leave you alone, her reaction was too extreme and could result in marry getting sick. I honestly think it would have been better to just say. “Leave me alone.” Might be rude, but sure is better then what she did. (Bad apple) I get where Freddie is coming from, but throwing someone’s stuff around won’t help anyone. Also the constant yelling is again understandable but unhelpful. Especially if he can’t calm down for long enough to explain. The wife is right that he is making it worse for no other reason then him not being able to control his anger. (Bad apple) Does OP really except her daughter doesn’t have to apologize after locking out a sibling a hole night? Just cause someone did something wrong to you first, doesn’t mean it’s okay to do someone wrong to them, especially not that extreme. I also blame the friends, cause they should have stopped Katy or let Mary back in. However I don’t know if I blame the siblings. Mainly because they might have been sleeping through this hole thing, and didn’t realize anything was wrong until Freddie started yelling. It is a possibility for them, so I can’t judge them What a story to start out with.
yeah i think katy is in the wrong for sure and has to be punished accordingly BUT its weird and annoying that a 15 YEAR OLD is such a parasite on her sister like hey if someone says "please leave im trying to talk to my friends" YA FUCKIN LEAVE! now again this is not excusing what katy did in any way shape or form but yeah the parents are also fucking...no just no like im so so sorry but i get you can be furious at your kid for doing what katy did but throwing her stuff and most likely breaking some of it?! yeah no not okay and the mom downplaying what katy did? thats messed up but yeah if the siblings were just asleep or doing whatever where they didnt know mary was outside i wont fault them but if they did same teir as mary katy and the rest
@@narwhallbean yes of course. If the siblings knew and didn’t do anything they’re bad apples. We just don’t know so we can’t judge. Although one of them is 12 years old. So I would be surprised if he wasn’t sleeping
I feel like in story 3 there's a big focus on "obligation" and not being obligated because they "aren't their step kid". This is in fact a blended household to a degree, just in a non traditional way. He actively referred to her as his step daughter a few times throughout but clarified their relationship, and clarified the relationship all of them had. That relationship is a blended family. As for the housing situation: it's tricky. The point stands about everything else like he said BUT, there has been little consideration of other things, because he can do whatever he wants doesent mean he should. The argument of "Well it will make it easier and your daughter is already getting a free ride" is an entitled one, but at the same time it's kinda true. I also think using the "the house will be mine someday " point is bs cause well guess what: it's not yours now, and that's not a reason to exclude someone who you claim to have a positive relationship with. Favoritism aside I feel like he could have tried harder and instead capitulated instead of trying to find a solution
Story three I couldn't help but belly laugh when he said the teacher should have to tell the parent the kid needs to behave etc. He said it so earnestly like the teacher wasn't trying. Bless him, I'm glad he's not experienced this but those parents don't let you talk, and often the senior leadership restrict us with what we are allowed to do. However, I was once in a zero tolerance school for parents behaviour and we would ask someone outside the room to go to the office to say we needed a cup of tea. It was code for SLT to come and take over. Sadly, most schools are not like that.
story 2 holy cow girl run. RUN! and this is coming from someone that would have def been lasking "oh hey whose that dude?" not out of jealousy but more because my brain wants to put faces with stories so if you mentioned him I'd be like oh yeah ... all that being said being uncomfortable because you didn't introduce him?? from that??? if you had hugged him, had a 20 minute convo then yeah. but a high-five and a hi??? no.
story 3 I think ma Rogers hit in the head with the legal responsibility factor. if he let the other girl live there he'd have to secure a lease because if anything were to happen, either to the property or God forbid to her or someone that comes over it would create legal issues or issues with the insurance company. it sounds heartless but... it's reality sadly. also they aren't married and while long term it doesn't mean they'll stay together. he's not wrong in this case
Yay! A new Bad Apple episode! I tell my parents that I'm going apple picking whenever I watch this series :) I agreed with all of your picks, especially the last one. I myself am a student teacher and I am not quite sure how I would react if I were put in a situation like that, so I myself think of it as a scenario to learn from :)
For Story #3, I think the dad made his bed and he has to live with his choice. He's prioritizing his daughter's comfort over his not-quite-stepdaughter's wellbeing and future. I'm not saying that's morally terrible, but of course the person being put into the difficult position just for someone else to be extra comfortable in their giant house is going to feel hurt. SPECIALLY since he'd already told her she could live there, to then take it back. It's a crappy situation for her. I don't think he's a bad apple exactly, but definitely a crab apple. He'd already said yes to this other girl. I completely understand why she feels hurt.
Apple #4 is teacher vs non-teacher and I have had those parents who wouldn’t do anything unless it was extreme 🙄, or even still wouldn’t do anything when the actions were extreme, so I can empathize with the teacher
# 3 First Ms. you are right the house is the daughter, but if she was to live on campus in a dorm you have to accept who your roommate is. Tell them to work it out, establish rules for behavior that might help. If that is not good enough then you have done the best. He should have his daughter first. #4 Yelling was not right. Did the parent not sign the behavior agreement at the start? Mrs your right no one has the right to bully. Mr your right lying is never the answer even if the other parent helped out just tell the mother that this needs to be spoken with additional staff and that she would need to reschedule the appointment. Love the series
Not only was it mean for them to lock the girl outside and not let her in but it was dangerous, someone could’ve easily come up and said, are you cold what you’re locked out? You can come up in my car and will call somebody or call the police or something and then they would never see that girl again
Apple #1 - Bad Bunch. Two wrongs don't make a right, so even if a wrong is a response to a wrong, it's still wrong. Apple #2 - Good Apple. You don't need to introduce your significant other to everyone you know. And you can be friendly with people you don't know that well.
As a parent, I would not yell or scream at my child’s teacher. I would try to discuss calmly why I was upset. As the PTO President at my daughters school, I have dealt with parents as described in 4 and also witnessed teachers dealing with them. I say the bad apple is the parent
I agree with Avery about Mary's behavior on story 1. Siblings pester each other. I have grown relatives who pester their siblings. I have coworkers 20 years older than me who act like siblings and annoy each other like siblings. At worse I would give Mary crab apple. The dad, I am balancing between bad and crab, because as most of the comment section has pointed out, his pseudo-step daughter put his daughter in a very dangerous situation. And his job is to protect his child. So I don't fault him for getting angry with Katie for her behavior. He did carry it too far though. OP and Katie, 100% bad apples, and if I were Freddy, I would consider taking Mary and getting out.
Apple #2: Girl. RUN. Run like your life depends on it, because I absolutely guarantee you it DOES. One of my best friends is still in therapy to this day over a HORRIFICALLY abusive relationship that ended years ago (emotionally, physically, s*xually, you name it, she survived it). The abusive behavior STARTED with an incident just like this…she dared to say hi to a male friend of hers while she was spending time with him, and he made sure she knew that was NOT allowed. MASSIVE 🚩🚩🚩 R.U.N.
Mary was a major pest but locking someone outside of the house in the middle of the night was so dangerous which neither of you mentioned. If it was during the day it might be a different, but bad things happen late at night. #2 Reminds me of something that happened to me. I saw some aquaintances when I was out with a friend. I forgot the female's name. I couldn't introduce them and it was kind of awkward. #3 I wonder why Emme doesn't want to live with Kara. I agree with Avery because Emme has some scholarship which it sounds as if Kara didn't qualify for. #4 Back in the day parents trusted the teacher, if I got in trouble my parents would know I did wrong. Now most parents are bullies. Thank you so much for the belly laugh wish. I really need one.
Even during the day it could have been dangerous. Plenty of young girls get taken in the daytime without anyone seeing anything untoward. The whole situation was extremely dangerous and very poorly handled by both parents.
Avery you have to stop victim blaming it reminds me of my attorney ex that committed abusive litigation against me 😅 it is SO SWEET that you are so oblivious to the reality of how mean kids and teens can be that you didn't think that they ALL wouldn't have let her in, but trust me. As an undiagnosed autistic girl, there were other kids SA-ing me just because I was very obviously completely ignorant to the risks. There are no bounds to kids' viciousness when their parents aren't diligent enough or are mean themselves. I completely respect and genuinely am grateful that you've come from a background where it doesn't seem logical to you for that situation to have gone that way, but please don't blame Mary just because you can't process that the other kids would be that mean. For a 15-year-old, girl going up to a neighbor's house is literally not always physically safe, especially when you've just moved in somewhere. You're also gaslighting your wife's experience and education as a teacher, and pretty much saying that just because you were 15-year-old boy that you know what it feels like to be a 15-year-old girl. Massive L on your part in this series honestly Avery. I was really disappointed to see you acting like this towards this girl and your wife. ❤️🔥 Legit triggering to watch this as a bullying survivor, and disturbing. BAD APPLE!!!
It makes sense that he thought about him and his brother doing “pranks” like this, but he has the luxury of not having to think about the dangers that girls face. My first thought was that she could’ve been kidnapped.
For the first story I feel like both the parents were in the wrong for one extra reason - where's the spare key?? You're telling me you leave your children home alone all night without some sort of spare key lying around? What if one of them stepped out for fresh air and accidentally locked themself out of the house? Get a spare key, guys. They're like two bucks
Story 3: Bad apple. SD (step daughter) asked first about staying in the house and he probably said that it was a good idea (I know not in the story but implied by daughter saying she didn't want to roommate SD). The SD and partner were not acting in titled they were upset that he turned around and changed it cause daughter wanted to live alone. SD and daughter different lifestyles could be one is messy and one is a tidy it doesn't not say SD is a party animal just that she didn't get scholarships which could be from academics or athletics. The dad isn't SD's only dad but he is her dad. It's been 7 years and he was with her equal to or even more than his own daughter. He is her parent and he should act like it. Married or not he is her parent and she is his child. If someone treated my child like she was less than after 7 years there would be no year 8. Blood =/= family, he choose her as family and needs to treat her as such. Yes, the house could pass to his bio daughter, but that few years could be 3 or 35. He just got the house as an adult with an 18yo. Her claim means nothing till she pays the taxes and upkeep.
Story #4: Rebecca is justified. I understand that Avery is trying to make for an honest/ moral decision. But as someone who dealt with bullying growing up, sticking up for yourself is hard. I have no problem doing it, only I am not good at doing it for a final say. Meaning it never helps the situation stop. As for the teacher, I think that she was concerned to be a bad apple in the eyes of getting in trouble with workplace manner.
She must be a very young teacher to be concerned about this. I don’t see how she would get in trouble. Even If the parent found out, it’s not like she can go to admin and tell them she wasn’t done yelling at the teacher. If she tried to lie, the other parent can easily vouch for the teacher.
Story #3 has me heated. It’s so pretentious to say that they can’t share a house and “oh I don’t want a housemate”. It’s a massive house that they could both easily share. That’s so typical of a trust fund baby to want everything to herself and doesn’t want to share. Actually disgusting. Also every single person that moves out of their parents house are going to have housemates that they don’t exactly get along with, so it’s really just showing how money made her selfish and expects that she wont live with housemates she doesn’t get along with. The privilege is striking
Honestly, I agree. Maybe I'm just dumb but the girlfriends kid might lose the opportunity to go to school, while his daughter just wants the literal BEACH HOUSE to herself?? Come on 🙄
Story 1: ANYTHING COULD'VE HAPPENED TO THAT GIRL. Maybe I watch too much True Crime, but she could've been snatched. Poof, gone. And then whose fault would it be. Whose fault would it be if that child was never seen alive again? Unacceptable.
My 13 year old daughter understands that people need space and boundaries with her 15 year old step sister which she adores much like the first story but when my stepdaughter 15 says I just want some space she understands that and she is way younger than the girls in the first story
In Story 4: I think the kid's interest should have been the priority & escaping from the situation ignores that priority. Yes, she felt backed into a corner & took the first escape she could, but conflict resolution is a necessary skill for teachers these days. Setting a boundary, like Avery suggested, helps the student by acting to improve (& teach) better communication skills in the relationship between teacher & student/parent. Explaining it is your job to discipline or distract students who are being disruptive would have been ideal, but setting a boundary is also valid.
For the last one I disagree with Avery on that one, As a non confrontational person anyone yelling at me for doing my job the best I could would scare me and just sit there till it was over for the most part, so if anyone was to suddenly appear and help me de-escalate to situation, Hell yes I would take it. Not to say I’m a door mat but in that situation at work i understand this teacher clinging to a lifeline someone offered.
Story one everyone in this story needs to grow up and it sounds like kiddos might need more time with mom and dad while they integrate their lives. Katie needs to apologize, friends need to apologize, other two siblings need to apologize, immediately she locked a younger siblings out of the house in the dark at 5 am!! Thats dangerous, if they are somewhere it's cold cold Mary could have really gotten hurt.
Apple #1: Agree with Rebecca. Wholeheartedly! That's dangerous! This teen is outside I wonder what the neighborhood is like. Regardless, she could have gotten into real trouble! Something could have happened to her! I love the apples! That's so cool! Apple #2: yeah, it's a red flag to me, too. Apple #3: I think it'd be btr if the 2 girls lived together. but then I like what you said about the guy taking care of his own daughter. I have 1/2 brothers on both sides, and I was taught that it didn't matter, they were still my brothers. I might be a little biased. Apple #4: not the bad apple. Jason's mom wouldn't listen to the teacher.
Every time you reference the Tarzan person you know it throws me for a loop because I also knew someone with that nickname and he's all I think of with that name - not the movie.
3rd story: I’m going hard crab apple. He can help both daughters, it’s not like if he allows Cara to stay there he’s not still putting his own daughter first. It’s still his house and his choice but this isn’t an either or situation, it’s just that his daughter has a preference. She can suck it up for a couple years for free housing. If they have such different life styles they probably won’t see eachother much at all and as the owner of the property you can set up rules surrounding the house like no parties, quiet hours, etc. If I were the parent in that situation, I would say that both will be able to stay there, if one has a problem or can’t abide by the rules they can find different housing.
Story #4 - Am I the only one that finds it concerning that after 7 years, he doesn't view his GF's daughter at all as a step-daughter? I know they're not legally married, but having been in a similar situation... I just don’t see how you don't feel that familial connection. Also, I went and found the original posts with his comments... he really does not make himself sound great. He is inconsistent with the details, and he is weirdly defensive about his role in his GF's daughter's life. Also, while he isn't forced to help out, his attitude towards why his GF's daughter is struggling is very concerning, too. Edit: added a word.
With the property one, it could also be a "one person could be messy" situation. When I was in University, for me, mess equals stress. Especially, hypothetically speaking, if this house is going to be hers one day and the other girl is messy, that would have caused a lot of stress for me. That was a stressful thing for me growing up with my own biological sister, she was a lot more messier than I was. I am a "clean your dishes right after dinner" person. I could see that possibly being a reason as well, especially if the house is going to be passed onto her.
First Story: 8/10 BA score (bad batch) | Not only was it a very mean for Katie to do that, but Mary could’ve been kidnapped. I’m not sure if kidnapping is common where OP lives, but she should’ve made Katie (who is 19 years old if you need a reminder) apologize for that so called “prank” as well as everyone who was there. Sure Mary was doing stuff making Katie and her friends uncomfortable, but she didn’t deserve to get locked out of the house. Mary should apologized to Katie as well for bothering her. Second Story: 0/10 BA score (OP, good apple) 7/10 BA score (bf, bad apple) | It should be pretty obvious considering that OP told the bf that the guy was just an acquaintance. Third Story: 1/10 BA score (OP, good apple) | It would make sense for the daughter to live there, but IDK the ‘step-daughter’ could live there as well. I agree with Mrs. Rogers, and I understand OP’s decision here. Fourth Story: 2/10 BA score (OP, good apple) 7/10 BA score (mother, bad apple) | The OP tried to explain to the mother that Ja(y)son was being disruptive, but the mother wouldn’t take it. The parent was just trying to help OP out of the situation. The reason why OP has the 2/10 BA score is because she should’ve explained it better if she could.
