I hear your pain lady. When you are a good person, you think everyone is kind and good hearted like you. That’s why you trusted him. I was in a similar boat. My ex cheated on me with a person who knew he has children and a wife. She even pretended to be my kids friends so she can be close to my family.
There need to be more support for women like you. Too many going through similar and lack of support and victim blaming and shaming as I see in many of the comments here. Sadly. You obviously love and trusted your husband more than you should've. You are a different strong and obviously committed to your marriage. This doesn't make you stupid. I don't blame you at all. You were suspicious but didn't accused until the truth was presented to you. No one will get you unless it happened to them or someone they love. The lack of support is our hmong community is real and causes women to second guess themselves and stay in bad marriage cause they're told they're the one to blame and go change themselves. It's not your fault. He's the one with problems! Your kids are grown, you're going to enjoy your freedom. You built him up, i hope you took what you can from him and left him back to where he started! I feel your pain!
I totally agree. You’re not at fault to love and trust your husband. Your husband on the other hand is blind. Karma to the bad and blessings for the good.
Lub neej tiam no yog mus qhov twg ces ob leeg leeg yuav tsum mus uake xwb os. Yog ib leeg nyob ib qhov mus lawm tsheej tog hli los yog xyoo ces neej kawg tawg vim txim neej ces txawm poj niam os lawv aw!. Nej sim xav ma. Txiv neej es ntev kawg nkaus ib week xwb twb tshawb poj niam lawm ne. Es cas nej ho ntseeg tias lawv yuav mus ua tus txiv tsim txiaj lawm tsheej xyoo no na.
I have to blame this on you! I would never let my husband be that far from me and I wouldn’t ever allow him to leave for that long. I don’t understand why you would even think that was ok. 8 years is a long time.
Best thing is to stay away from the xa business if you want to keep your marriage and family intact. Every married couple I've seen go into the xa business is no more. All divorced. Tsis yog mus khwv nyiaj hos yog mus khwv pim khwv qau noj xwb os cov uas mus mus ua teb na! Like I always say, where there is hmong ppl, there will ALWAYS be drama.
Who lets their spouse go alone and live alone for 7-8 years? No one. I don’t care if we are dirt poor, we’ll go together, eat together, sleep together on the farm, in the trailer. Don’t be like this lady, put up with a loser husband who has done nothing for her and their children and than take his side 🙄 when he cheated and lives a double life. When you allow yourself to be mistreated, neglected, be his slave than he’ll step all over you. For 8 years you never checked on him, or surprise visit? He’s lived another life for 8 years with a new family and you were naive and clueless. Don’t call out the other woman, call your loser ex husband up and take some accountability for being so naive. Stand up and be assertive and not a doormat.
Sister, you're too naive and nice. Your husband probably met this this woman before he went there. It was probably her idea to have you buy the land too. Siab loj doesn't pay! Be more selfish and put your needs first!
Lady nobody cannot steal another human's heart ok. He did it willing. Stop blaming her. It's the dog that wants to roam the earth. They both deserve each other. Just move on and enjoy life. Love will stay if they want to be with you. No need to fight.
I do blame the other woman also. If she knew that he was married then she should had stay away. It's because she has no morals. If you found out your daughter is dating a married man would you encourage her to keep doing it just because it's her boyfriend's job "to be faithful" to his wife. Some people want others happiness.
Both parties are at fault. If you know that a cheater comes to you, it’s up to you to decide if you want them or not. If you want them, you’re just as guilty like them bc the both of you lack emotional intelligence. It takes 2 to cheat after all. If you found out that you’re the side piece bc they claim to be single, it’s up to you to decide to cut the cheater off.
You didn’t lose much. When he was there he never worked, and you were already a single mother the whole time he was gone. I never understand why people expect drug dealers to have integrity.
Lady, you sounds confident and smart, but having your husband being away at teb xas for 7 years and you had no suspicion? Maybe you were too busy with your own business and did not listen and pay attention to the thousands of Hmong families being broken up by the affairs at the teb xas.
Tus mi niam tsev ruam aws ib tug ib neej ncaim koj mus 7 _8 lub xyoo es koj tseem cia siab tias nws yuav hlub koj li qub no los , txiv neej ces ncaim txog hli xwb ntshe luag twb ntxeev siab lawm es tseem yog xyoo lawm ces tsis hais li lawm os
As a niam tsev teb xa myself, this story make my blood boiled. How disrespectful of your husband and in laws? I believe it's 100% your husband's choice to be unfaithful but the mistress need to be called out so other niam tsev can be aware and not hire her into their land. Sorry this happened to you. Be glad they're are gone.
Be careful about those quiet ones they always say that. They do under shit that you don't know. The bad thing about us hmong women is we always do too much shit for them hmong men and at the end they just back stab us. Stop doing too much shit for them. Love yourself first.
Poj ruam. When your husband has the freedom to roam around like a single guy with no responsibility, he will live like one. Is the money worth it? 7 years, how much money do you have now? Several million? He is long gone. Txiv neeg tseg tsis tau pojniam, yog koj cia koj tus txiv mus ua laib ces cheat tuag nthi.
Side pieces aren’t intelligent beings, even if they become the main. They still reap the consequences from their actions, regardless. And nothing comes out well from these type of businesses, including the families that run it. It’s all smokes and mirrors. Hmong ppl should find another healthy stream of income instead of doing the sketchy stuff.
Never believe a man when they are a distance from you. As soon as they leave your side they be looking. Even just going out of town for a few days they can flip and find someone. Yog yus tseem xav ua neej nrog tus neeg ntawm ces NEVER cia nws mus ib leeg qhov twg.
Viv ncaus aw... koj tus txiv ces mus zov daim teb xas luaj ob nti xwb os. Thiab leej twg hais rau koj hais tias niam pog txiv yawg yuav rov taw tuam ntuj rau lawv tus tub no na... Nco ntsoov tias tsov yeej tsis tom tsov ib sim neej no os mog...
Wow cas koj yuav tso siab rau koj niag txiv mus tau ntau xyoo npaum ko li na! Es koj yeej tsis muaj lub khib txog tias tsam lawv ua siab phem li los? Koj siab zoo thiab ruam dhau tso siab ntseeg siab heev os tos koj mag lub hyav no os… cov lud tsawg dub ntxi nrog kua zig ces yog koj tus txiv mas!!
hahha tus me niam tsev hmoob kuv xav tias koj tus txiv mus nram teb xas tau 7,8 lub hlis xwb es koj thiaj tsi paub txog koj tus txiv muaj hluas nkauj no, tab sis yog 7,8 lub xyoo los koj tsi paub thiab ces. li hmoob hais dab neeg muab nyiaj$$$$$ noj kom rog2 es muab ntsaws qhov ncauj qhov ntswg es mus pw ntawm Liab txoj kab xwb mas.
Vim koj teb g hlub koj tu kheej. Koj tsua tshaw2 nws kij txau koj siab ua nws qev. G tau pom 1 tug pojniamlm ruam & tshaw niag txiv dev zoo li ntawv. Useless man only. Vim u ruam u tso u tej txiv mus ua xa .
I don’t understand people that leave their family to go grow or the spouses that would support that… I rather make little and be around my family or have my spouse around… if he spent as much time and money in the life he had he could be wealthy too…
Lady, divorce in this country is not as easy as you described that both of you just signed the divorce paper and it is over quickly like that. Divorce in this country requires filing a divorce petition, wait for at least 120 days before the court can schedule for a hearing, and the court must require the parties to disclose all assets, incomes, and liabilities so that the court can divide the assets according to the laws. Even when both parties don't dispute on anything, it often takes about 6 months to complete a divorce case. Neither you nor your husband can sign the divorce, you only ask the court for the divorce. Only the judge can sign the divorce judgment and order. You have minor children and have businesses in your areas and the teb xas, you have home and bank accounts, and you described credit cards, etc. These are not so easy to identify and agree as you described. With minor children, child custody, child support, etc must be dealt with and they take a longer time. You did not say anything about property division, debt division, child custody and placement, child support, and spousal support. Mab Vang and many other storytellers already told many stories about nasty divorce fight in court. For this reason, I don't believe your story.
y would u have faith in this marriage? u haven't seen him in 7 years. For example, When you're bf/gf, you can't even resist 3 years before getting married. smh.
Tsis tim koj tus txiv tsis tim koj tus txiv vim nws yog koj tus txiv koj tso nws mus dabtsi ib leeg es koj tsis nrog nws ma 8 xyoo ces yaig tas lawm yog yug me nyuam ces me nyuam twb ua tau mov rau nkawv noj lawm vim koj tso siab dhau lawm
Koj zaj neej neeg no tsis txaus ntseeg li thiab tsis make sense li. All those years you absolutely had no clue about him cheating? Koj dag xwb Los yog koj yeej ruam tiag na? You are a business lady, you should know this kind of fishy business. Not believe you are innocent.
My left to see in-law for 2 weeks n I'm already for a new wife let alone 7 years. Lol people who think money first forget about what's really important
Very sad for the wife, but how can you not suspect him at all, especially when you two separated for 8 yrs? His actions speaks so loud and gave you all the hints. If I would you I would have cursed my MIL and FIL out! Cursed the loser husband. Why are you blaming the girlfriend? Your MIL, FIL and husband are to be blamed. I can’t believe you are mad at the GF. Lol
KOJ TUS QUB TXIV YOG HOM NEEG NCAUJ LUS TSAWG 2, MAS LUAG SIAB THIAJ DUB 2 OV.. HOM NTAWD MAS LUAG YUAV DABTSIS LUAG YEEJ TSIS SAB LAJ LI NAWJ,, KUV TWB HNOV LAWV TIAS XYOOJ VOV XYOOJ PAM, VAJ VOV VAJ PAM, MUAS VOV MUAS PAM NO CAS TSEEM TIAS KOJ TUS QUB TXIV LOS UA TIB YAM LI THIAB NAJ?? THAUM TSEEM TIM NPLOG MAS YEEJ HNOV 2 LI NTAWD, TXAWM TIAS TWB TUAJ TXOG MEKAS TEB LAWM LOS TSEEM MUAJ THIAB?? VIM LAWV XAV TAU COV MI NYUAM TSEEM 2 NAWJ, TAU KIAG 100% XEEM XYOOJ HOS YOG MUS LWM XEEM CES TSEEM TSIS TSHUA HEEV LAWM,,, TSUAS TAU 50% XWB, ZOO QHOV KOJ MUAB NRAUJ LAWM OS,, LUAG TWB TSIS HLUB KOJ LAWM, LUAG THIAJ XUM MUS HLUB LUAG TUS MUAM LAWM CES UA I SIAB, TXAWM TIAS HO XAV MUS NRHIAV DUA LUB NEEJ TSHIAB LOS MAM LI MUS,M HOS HO TSIS MUS LOS NYOB RAU TEBCHAWS VAM MEEJ NO TSIS TAS NEED TXIV LAWM, TSHEB PUAS CES TOM MEKAS XWB, COV TXIV SIAB PHEM LI KOJ TUS KO CES TSUAS TAU LOS THAIV COV QAU QUS XWB, LAUG TWB TUA TAUS KOJ LAWM, TEJ ZAUM MUS UA NWS TUS MUAM LI TSEEM HAIB TSHAJ KOJ LAWM OS...
