Men see your weaknesses as your fault. I had no past baggage with men. But i came from an abusive family, i confided my cruel childhood to him. Later, after a fight, he publically humiliated me by referring to my abusive mum and saying I was just like her. Dont talk about family trauma with men. Talk to your therapist or bff.
Thank you for the input❤️. I wish you all the best in dealing with your childhood traumas, You will eventually heal from it If you haven't by now Much love 🫶
But if you don't tell him that, how are you going to know if he is the one You should give him a bait, give false information. If he used it against you in a fight, block and go no contact!
I've been with my husband for 14 years and my husband knows absolutely everything about me including my past. If you cannot be truthful and share your truth with who you are with, they are insecure/ childish and will make your life miserable. Don't listen to these weirdos.
It takes years (trust me) for some men to show their true colors. When their ego is bruised, they'll lash out and use any information you've given them against you. With peace and love, you said it yourself - you've been out of the dating game for 14 years. You giving advice to women now is like my 70 year old retired dad trying to tell me how to get a job by explaining how he did it in the 80s.
😂 ima always say what happened..cause i wanna see what ure gonna do. I should be able to say what I been through n be safe. Real Men don't use someone's trauma against them.. 💯
I agree with you. Why would you want to be with someone who would use your pain against you, but I also understand the other said saying keep some things to yourself. Best compromise I heard was a man on here giving advice about this & that was, don’t tell a man all your business until you’re married bc then he’s (should be) fully committed & much less likely to judge. 🤷🏻♀️ Idk. Makes sense but also, fckd up.
This is so eye opening. Everyone in relationships hides from each other. If you open up completely to someone they won't want to be with you. Guess I'm dying alone cuz I don't want that. He should know everything about me and I should know everything about him. If it's not going to be real I don't want it. This mess is so fake. All of y'all are so fake. I'm so done with romance.
Relax! Okey? 😂😭 You should absolutely be honest with your partner but you shouldn't be telling him everything lol they also don't be telling us everything You should share the things that you feel ,they could affect the relationship
It’s diabolical when certain guys come online and claim to speak for all guys. He might think that all men do that because he does those things himself. Speak for yourself, buddy. It’s some real ones out here.
I agree, thanks for speaking up. If i need to play games, watch what i say, pretend, do not be authentic, then why i would still want this relationship?😂 Its a parody on intimacy now
@@NewBlooomI agree. I think we SHOULD tell them (generalizations, not details) of our trauma. The way he reacts and what he does with that info will tell us EVERYTHING we need to know about how he’ll treat us moving forward. Then we know pretty quickly if we need to just move on or if he is a good person to be with. You gotta think long term here… if you spend years with someone, trauma will inevitably happen to you both. You NEED to know how he’s going to react in those situations if you’re dating for long term commitment.
@trishatheenigma8982 I had a friend like this in the military. She had trauma from sexual assault and men using her financially. Against my advice, she would tell every ninja she messed with these details. Guess what, each and everyone of them tried to test to see if she was still stupid. They even came up with new traumas. She was sexually and physically assaulted, they drained her financially, they played games with her emotionally. I remember her calling me in tears cuz she found her then man in bed with a random woman. He turned around when she burst in on them in her own bed. Guess what he did, he didn't miss a stroke. She ran out sobbing and called me in tears. You have that in common with her. She always said " I am not fake. I don't play games" Relationships are like chess matches. You gotta use common sense babe. Good luck!
Straight men coming online to give women unsolicited dating advice seems dubious at best. 9 times out if 10 if a woman asks me for advice about a guy that I don’t know, I tell her it really all depends on that guy so I can’t really call it. Different guys think differently about things and do things their own way.
I’m not gonna lie or trick anyone. If he views my past with judgement or as a way to figure out how bad he can treat me, he simply ain’t it. These videos are about men who lack emotional intelligence.
There are a lot of weak, scarred, emotionally under developed men out there. U don't have to reveal anything right up front. The dating phase is like a job interview. I hope u don't go into an interview and lead with the story of when u broke some office equipment!
@@staceykersting705 I never said “I spill my guts to perfect strangers “ so this comment seems irrelevant to what I said… paraphrasing I said: ‘a man who plays games or “tests” me and learns of/ judges my past in order to see what they can get away with ain’t it. ‘
I told my boyfriend about treatment from my ex-husband. I got married before i turned 20 years old. Husband was 10yrs older( lied being his age and tons of other lies). My boyfriend is my ex now cause he used everything my ex-husband did to me and did worst with extra icing on the cake and extra sprinkles on top. I have learned never again to be so truthful keep my buissness to myself. I am single now and afraid of dating other men. I get courted daily by men younger/older. Compliments from women daily. I need to stay single Please don't tell them about your past regardless you think you should tell them everything.
And I was stabbed 6 times by an ex, that sure was thrown back in my face. I'm sorry that happened to you love, you are a walking miracle and the strongest amongst us ❤️
First off I don't take advice from just anyone. Second, who wants to sit and talk about the dudes who didn't make the cut. Just saying. Not my idea of a conversation I need with my dude. But if at anytime ex's need to be discussed rather it be for safety or children then ok. Also ladies and gentlemen when you get married to a soulmate none of this matters because they are gonna know so If they ask you a question just be honest with them. Soulmates become ONE 😊
He's not wrong, but he's not right either. Some guys might actually be dirt bags who think like that. Some guys think of it in terms of this is how I can be a better man to her. The fact that HE says that this is what GUYS (as in all) do leads me to believe that HE actually thinks like the former and is probably projecting his mentality onto ALL men. You gotta be careful with who u take advice from. Besides, If you really gotta hide an important part of yourself from someone you want to get serious about..... Should you even want to be with that person in the first place? How could a SOLID relationship be formed out of a weak foundation of deception, mistrust, and secrecy? Not saying you should dump all your trauma out on the first date or anything.....but eventually gotta be able to trust each other.
Ladies, don’t tell ur man about your friends drama… they will judge them from afar without all the details and base how they think of that person from exactly what u tell him! He may even want u to not be friends with them!
I don’t think you should share your life story with a boyfriend, but if you can’t be open and honest with your husband, you don’t have a real marriage Happliy married for 11 years
wtf is this video the entire thing's just people telling you to cater to men's egos...what you should REALLY do is make up a vulnerable fact about yourself that ISN'T true and see if he tries to use it against you or not.
I always tell my dumb ass friends “as far as they’re concerned all your ex’s treated you like gold” and those dumb ass friends do what? VENT ABOUT HOW BAD THEIR EX DID THEM 🤦🏽♀️😂
yeah basically treat a man like a psycho stranger. he's not there to help you...its like a business transaction and you're a product to sell...you cant tell them your flaws ever. don't lie but never talk down on your self which sounds totally delulu but its the solulu if you want to be safe in this world. all this stuff is true. men are def calculated. they're not real 99.9 are fake.
I ain’t going to tell a man I’m dating my past relationships because you’re usually meeting his representative he’s not coming as his true self anyway. If he wants to know about your ex just say you grew apart and mutually ended the relationship on good terms and that your friends. It breeds curiosity about you it works like a charm.
When my last ex and I broke up, he was so mad I wouldn't still sleep with him that he said, "But you still f$@=ed [another ex's name] after the break-up," like sex is a Jell-o Pudding Pack he saw a classmate get and he thinks he's entitled to one, too. It was the last ick that validated my good decision.
You're welcome. It's an eye opener. Some of the points mentioned seem harmless, but are not. Does a MEN BEWARE: THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT TELL YOUR WOMAN video exist. If so, please post it so people can get the message from a different perspective. Thanks again.
Only narcissists will use your vulnerabilities against you. If he is such a $hitty person that I can’t share anything with him, then I don’t want to be with him to begin with.
I love shera seven and i have learned so much from her perspective but Please dont lie! Just avoid the topic with no explanation. Theres no such thing as a white lie! It clocks up negative karma and lowers your own light, auric field, chi! No ones worth lowering your own. You have no obligation to answer questions or give drawn out responses. Personal boundaries.... If he cant handle that, then he's not emotionally intelligent. Infact I'd go as far as to say, emotionally intelligent men wont ask the wrong questions in the first place. Pay attention to questions and it reveals alot
You might need to say men & women don’t need to tell their past l cannot tell you have many men tell me their past trauma…. Tell women how men play mind games on purpose to get you ppl are normal they will tell
I love how a lot of these videos of random people giving love advice are unmarried, never been married. Men giving advice from their mommas/girlfriends couches trying to get clout off the internet. Women who are toxic asf and unhappy. It’s just a nasty ahh cycles people keep trying to perpetuate. We have to do better.
