Lawrence Sonntag is an Uncultured Man 

Please help, something about the vibes this video gives off has summoned James Cordon to my house in the all new 2024 Jeep Grand Cherokee, he's brought Javier Bardem and Timothée Chalamet along with him. I think he ran over my letterbox? They've immediately and violently started punching and kicking at my front door, demanding that I sing along to the Chappell Roan track that's blaring on a loop out of the still running car, and that I "open my pre'y li'le mouf" or "show us hole, slag". I'm relatively certain James was coaching them on what he wanted them to say before they got here, because when they deviate from copying the twisted hobbit-speech he calls an accent, or put their own spin on the vile things they've been screaming at me for the past several minutes, he pulls them into a tense huddle in my front yard to correct them severely. I can see the fear in their eyes when he reprimands them, especially Timothée. Nonetheless, they have all remained astonishingly erect since they got here. I think I spotted a camera operator or two in the Jeep, I've tried signalling them for help when the cast are distracted enough by their rage and/or lust, but all I seem to get back is cold, dead stares. Tell my story, Javier has just started gnawing at the door frame and he's making surprisingly quick progress through the wood.

lawrence: "yogurt is not seen as a very masculine food" charlotte: "yeah but it's more cultured" this is why we're here folks

I'm gonna need more appreciation for Charlotte's yoghurt culture joke.

"How do you grab?"

"Ya know you can save right?" The pure defeated and bewildered look Charlotte gave there was amazing

"A sleeve of saltines and a stick of butter." You know what? I respect that. That is the optimal butter delivery mechanism.

From the gurt filled minds of Charlotte, Jacob, & Patrick, with special guest Lawrence "ACTIVATE ASS" Sonntag. THIS. IS. *astrogoblin!*

You cant blank out on the original yogurt male: Michael Westen from Burn Notice. Yogurt eating was at least 30% of his personality.

Yogurt males, now I've heard it all...

So I think this is the alphabet male hierarchy we have: Yogurt > Sigma > Alpha > Beta > Omega* There may be more yet to be discovered of course. *For your own good, do not seek knowledge on Omega males.

Any time Steven Seagal is brought up, I think it's mandatory to mention that he shit and pissed himself getting choked out by Gene LeBell.

So glad to have you guys.. Watched everything Funhaus since about 2 weeks after it's official start, then went back to make sure I had watched it all.I was so insanely bummed for Rooster Teeth as a whole but like, most of that was directed towards Funhaus for me personally. Y'all became such a part of my daily life for so long, it felt weird to think that period of my life is over. And it is, but now there's Astrogoblin! W O O O O O O O O O O O

Patrick, as always, with zero hesitation, goes in for the kill.

Thank you Patrick. Referencing Bobby Fingers when talking about the Steven Seagal miniature made me check the channel and there's a new video out!

i see you charlotte, and that was an S tier yogurt pun

Always good to see my favorite philosophers discussing the vast erotic potential of yogurt

I'll take the sleeve of saltines, hold the butter.

Lawrence didn't need to look us directly in the eyes when he said "confidently enjoying eating yogurt"

Shout out the brought you this thing for turning me onto this! I will be here every week!

oh god I was so worried this was gonna be the first non-Ziggy-appearance video but we got one!! it's all good, the streak continues

Loving Lawrence explaining yogurt males while rocking a pattern that should've been the packaging for 90s yogurt cups

I appreciate them showing us the full boss intro scene so we could bask in the god tier writing

Yogurt fans, you gotta try the Zoi Greek Yogurt Honey flavor, it has a unique thickness that is very appetizing

Lawrence referencing Don the Dragon Wilson was the greatest lil cultural reminder ever. Last I heard him was when he did the official dubbing for the main character in New York Ninja

You know Tarantino snuck in a lot of his fetishes in his movies? The director of Absolution did this too, but he didn't hide it. AT. ALL. The dirty underwear huffing scene will haunt me forever.

without astrogoblin i would have known the never ending story 3 exists, thank you

5:45 That's made by Bobby Fingers, whose channel is AMAZING. There's only luke five videos there, but each of them are progressively more amazing works of performance art. In the latest, he got Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame and the slowmo guys to help him shoot lubed ballistics gel geese at a replica head of Fabio.

A Monday and a Friday upload, I'm lovin' this new astrogoblin.

Charlotte looking for someone to notice her cultured joke.

Oh man the Stevan seagul joke got me. Have you ever seen tom segura dress as him in a music video 😂

That backward walk is hilarious. 😂

so happy with this ol friends playing in the living room format. Glad to see Funhaus living on. I'm actually more productive at work when i have u guys playing in the bg

This is hands down the BEST thumbnail so far, legit art

Loving this new schedule for the vids. ❤️

such a big fan, love the channel

More Lawrence! Quintessential Gamer is always welcome

Cracking open my activia probiotic daily and watching some astro goblin

I'm glad there are other comments about Charlotte's cultured yoghurt joke Also, I like how Jacob goes into Harry Cary at 1:49

The way Lawrence spikes the camera after describing what a yogurt male is makes me feel I’m not a yogurt male,but a yogurt boy, crushing crush cups.

Im disappinted that lawrence didnt say he couldnt take Ben Affleck

Patrick, I believe you are referring to Bobby Fingers

I love this channel so much. Its been so long.

I’m going to have to get a new schedule for work, I cant wait for the goblins

The outdo tune is the perfect “New beginnings it’s all good” vibe

The cultured joke was severely underappreciated

I’m so glad I found your channel after the end of funhaus. You all are so funny!!!!!!

I'm so happy this channel exists. This is the shit I do like

This was fantastic

Charlotte's reaction to beating the boss was so cathartic

I’m a simple man; I like watching goblins and slurping ‘gurt.

That thumbnail is truly horrendous. Well done!

10:55 my reaction every time astrogoblin releases a video

Keep up the good work.

Referring to gogurt as a "young adult yogurt" killed me

Lawrence being here works soooooooo well

Lovely video

The Dogs are loose!

I love these vids

When the world needed more goblins, astrogoblins was there

Nice of the goblin siblings to invite their friend round

"Omarcito is now playing Factorio." HELL yeah. Factorio is yogurt as fuck.

Commenting for the algorithm, love the vids

The Liam Neeson picture with piss on his pants 😅 great call back

Pre-Goblin Game Fest!

I read Yoghurt Males as another play on Robert Miles. He had many songs!

American Ninja was one of my top 5 films growing up.

Love the channel music. Shit goes hard

Shadow Man out here doing the Daniel Garcia dance.

Patrick and Lawrence should start a podcast where they review 90s action movies, episodes of American Ninja Warrior, and softcore gay porn. Invite James Willems as a guest. They can call it Taste for Trash or something.

as a member of the yogurt species, it is my duty to inform everyone that yogurt can also be enjoyed as a drink. In sweet or salty variety I recommend giving Ayran a try. I think it's a popular Turkish drink, so might be an 'aquired taste' for some but it is delicious. 🥛

Not me eating a Go-Gurt as Jacob mentions it 😂

More shadow man? Count me in.

The cutscene 😂😂 8:05

Lawrence has incredible knowledge of where family films and soft core gay porn films intersect

Lawrence has to have watched Rifftrax because Absolution and A Talking Cat!?! are both Rifftrax Classics

Comment for the algorithms Keep up your videos!

I think we just found the plural for astrogoblin fans. Yogurtgoblins.

I love the Liam Neeson pees his pants call back

Thank goodness this channel exists. I was starting to withdraw from my favorite RU-vid folks!

That was a great video, time for a yoghurt and Cocopops snack

gooning to astrogoblin

Cats do be pissing on the floor.

I saw Cynthia Rothrock in Santa's Summer House, another David DeCoteau film, and it's the most insane I have felt watching a movie

Not me schlorpin on an Oikos while they're talkin about yogurt.

i love how playing the game has become a punishment

Didn’t know you guys had a new channel

The punani bit had me dying! I'm so happy i now have this imformation.

I have to assume Lawrence has heard of the movie Garm Wars: The Last Druid, and if he hasn't he really should look into it. What's not to love about a live action OVA starring Lance Henriksen?

heck yeah

gotta get me some gogurt now

Within seconds of the video start there's already barking, and its not even from Patrick!

YES

Highly recommend the episode of the How Did This Get Made? podcast about that Mario Lopez movie Absolution.

They can manually save. 😂

Pat w the heat😂😂

That "cultured" joke deserved more attention.

Charlotte did you make the intro song?? cause I gotta say it's stuck in my head and it fuckin bangs

Goble Goble Goble!!!!

So many years at Funhaus and they are still allergic to manual saves 😂 oof

Law dog and the Goblins