Learning How to Listen Is a Skill That Is Absolutely Unbeatable 

Beautiful clip. I learn/am reminded of something truly good every time that I watch one of these clips.

I like you Dr. Peterson, but you have a inability to practice what you're trying to preach in this video. You're constantly interrupting the person whoever you're engaging with that it gets tedious at best and unnerving at worst. That's the only criticism i can point out that can be levied at you, kind sir.

Justin Trudeau does not have the ability to listen. This is his key deficit.

Though he's most likely not a psychopath, JP seems to have narcissist characteristics. He teaches men to avoid vices yet he seems completely oblivious to his own indulgence in these vices. His don't look behind the curtin moment for me was when he insulted respected trans man , Elliot Page by talking about his breast removal and deadnaming. I dare him to have called Muhammad Ali Cashious Clay to his face if we had a time machine. The real problem I had with this episode was that his reaction to having his account suspended was a video where he just came across as unhinged using language like “sons of bitches” and “I'd no sooner die than remove thar tweet”. He also analyzed his tweet 100 different ways. It just looked desperate and over the top. He also was in a dark room which gave the video dr evil meme like qualities. All of these elements were a revelation to me about how big his ego is. My observation was that he had this same “over my dead body” response to Canadian bill c-16 which he claimed would enforce pronoun use (though other sources debate this claim). This stance which was covered in the Kathy Newman interview, is what conservative outlets used to springboard him to fame. It's what he's most known for. Thus I believe when he perceived twitter as defending a transperson against his unflattering comments towards that person, it was as if his reputation was on the line. Kyle Kulinski told JP that he knew of a transman who claimed transition was very beneficial for his mental state. He asked JP if given that JP was all about supporting freedoms would he not at least support the freedom for this transman to transition? It was a perfect blow to Peterson. His whole freedom platform was turned against him. He was clearly upset at having his own words used against him. He either had to support transition for some transpeople or his persona of sacrificing his life for freedom was all a hoax. Cornered by his own reasoning at 6:50 in the video below Peterson devolved the argument to quibbling over syntax when Kyle made a simple point that the lgbt community has been historically marginalized. Any honest debater would have accepted that obvious point and moved on. Peterson was clearly angered and wanted to use cheap petty syntactic disputes to somehow in his narcissist mind, claim a small victory. This inability to respect another position that may be valid is the hallmark of narcissist behavior. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7IN7bR_z4Kw.html

I have a lot more work to do on myself. But I had my first real job the past couple of years working at a gas station and it was really challenging. I've had confidence issues to deal with, and learning how to do with stressful situations in customer service. But I think I can feel proud that I was one of the best employees that my boss has had, she told me herself. And I think that might have been down to the fact that I listened to her and co-workers when things went wrong in the workplace and it was affecting work relationships in a bad way. My boss was horrible at communicating what she wanted of the staff and got angry when things didn't go her way. This ended up in nobody wanting to talk to her and just leaving her alone. That only made things worse. So I decided voluntarily to talk to her on multiple occasions and listen to what she had to say, and one time she just ended up crying saying she's overhelemed and too stressed and that she needs to talk to someone like a professional about it. It didn't exactly solve the problem, but I think we were on better terms after that and she didn't get upset at everyone so much.

@@zonefreakman Firstly I want to commend you for not only doing the job you did, but also thriving in it, when you have confidence issues. I know what that's like and what it takes, so kudos to you! That's a great story about your boss. Usually anger is the layer on top protecting a wound, or some sort of vulnerability, which is why people get angry much faster than upset. It's far easier, as Mr P has said before. The fact you were able to penetrate that defence enabled her to open up, which is amazing! I need to take lead from your example more.

So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?

I read that as quickly as possible so I could respond... Lol, this is very true. It's so easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and opinions on what the other is saying, rather than trying to understand and as Peterson said, summarise what they're saying in order to propagate the conversation.

yes Mr Potato is very correct indeed

A relationship you "had". What went wrong?

Same

@@Apeiron242 maybe it went right

So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?

Even as adults, learners sometimes expect the instructor to do the learning for them. Work/effort is a part of learning.

100% listening is not a passive task.

"People hearing without listening" - Simon and Garfunkel

As a teacher, I would often tell the pupils to put down their pen, close their notebook, and pay full attention. Too often, the note-taking distracts one's understanding. I was taught this at teacher-training and realised it was true.

Comprehension is a skill unto itself.

@@castelodeossos3947 are you also writing things on the board? Or is talking while writing too much of a distraction for you?

@@nadeemamode Obviously not, since I know beforehand what I'm going to write, while it's new for the pupils/students. Also asked the students whether they thought it was a good idea first to listen without writing and only then write, and they agreed.

@@castelodeossos3947 thats fine. Writing during or after both have benefits. As long as youre capturing something. Even when i listen to my instructors, im not writing out everything. Maybe the things that stick out and others that are not so obvious.

Kinda? You also need your ego to listen at all, ears, a heart, senses, all of that. Don't be so quick to kill your ego, you're the one who created it.. when it's time to blame someone, better to use a mirror.

So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?

Im sorry. What were you saying?

@@deanmccrorie3461 “See you weren’t even listening” 😂 if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me🤑

@@talmadhoun i like turtles too. But iguanas more

@@deanmccrorie3461 Not all who like turtles are zombies and some so-called intellectuals are zombies.

@@talmadhoun You mean like Vaush?

Ditto. I try to assume that most of the time people complimenting me are just trying to be respectful and polite.

Guilty myself ! Wise + Patient ! 🎯 True Word Wizard , Powerful Rhetoric !

That's a good problem to have 😁

Agreed 🤝

I don’t understand what you are trying to say. Could you care to elaborate !?

@@antoneverbright its a beef ting

you really didn't say much there

I think that’s the microphone guy

I think this clip might be from his appearance at Bucknell University (Lewisburg, PA) from earlier this year. If that gives any context.

There is a lot more overlap than many people are aware of.

@@Dimitris_Balf He Must have had a bad neck condition too. He didn't look at the speaker as everyone else did/

He was filming the entire time. For example, at 12:55, you can see him operating the camera. You can also notice that a large portion of the clip is filmed by the same dude. It's always wise to assume there is a good reason that one is not appearing to be "normal", instead of trying to find negativity in others.

I agree. People are tuned out. No communication going on. People leaving a train just sneak past one anorher rather than politely ask to get by.

and his wife

@@BjornBjorn nice

... and his daughters boyfriend perhaps?

@@BjornBjorn this is too much, reality is breaking now

She was!

Is this a book?

Eh. The dude listened for a living for over 30 years, he could stand to talk more.

Hi there, James! I hope this advice is helpful for you and your daughter: 1. Is her mother in the picture? If so, maybe have a meeting with all three of you. If your family is Christian, let her know that God doesn't make mistakes in His creation. We may have aspects about ourselves that may "feel" more "feminine" or "masculine", but you can't deny biology--it just doesn't work that way. If not, if you feel comfortable doing so, find another woman you trust that is close to both of you to join in for an adult woman's perspective. 2. Remember that you are her father. She is your teenage daughter (still with a developing brain, with at least a decade to go for growing). You are very much allowed to veto ideas/requests she may have. You don't have to accept, so put your foot down. (If she asks why, you can share your reasoning to help her understand your perspective.) 3. Let her ask her mom (or another adult woman you both know) the difference of how she felt at your daughter's age vs how they are now as an adult. There's likely some good perspective for her to consider with this conversation. With puberty, hormones, and getting adjusted to balancing out emotions, becoming a teenager takes some fine tuning with time, until they adjust more as they age into adulthood. 4. Have a conversation with her. Ask her to help both of you find understanding of both of your perspectives: - Start off by being gentle with her and absolutely let her know that you love her! Letting her know that she is loved (and actively sharing that with her) will help her greatly! If she's comfortable with it, ask her for a hug and/or kiss. She could be feeling a lack of love in her life, causing her to feel that she dislikes herself and needs to change. Very common with teen girls. - Ask her specifically why she wants to change herself. Help her to go deep and get into the specifics about it. Let her know that you want to understand her clearly so that you can know how to help her best. Could be simple reasons, could be something that requires more assistance. - Ask her (privately) if she's had some abuse happen to or around her. There could be an underlying problem that could need therapeutic help. If so, address that first. If not, she could simply wanting to ride the transgender trend that has been going up (and eventually) receding. - After she's had a chance to talk, gently share your perspective as to why you are not comfortable with her attempting to change herself and her body. Share your concerns and help her to understand your side of things. Gently remind her that she is still growing up and that she may feel differently about herself after a few years. Many girls do feel more comfortable with themselves when they reach womanhood. 5. If she's adamant about transforming herself and her body, you can deny her request and ask her to wait until she's an adult (on her own) before she makes a decision like that. She may change her mind as she grows older (as many teen girls do). If she doesn't, it won't be on your dime. 6. If you are able, watch What is a Woman by Matt Walsh. Fantastic documentary about what transgenderism entails and the harmful effects it is able to cause, including serious (generally irreversible and very expensive) bodily harm. 7. This website has some good information to check out as well: www.transgendertrend.com/about_us/ I'll be praying for you both. If you're a religious family/man, I'd recommend praying as well. May God bless you both, help bring healing, and give you peace.

@@penguinninja4417 hi, thank you so much for that very well thought out reply. I really do appreciate it very much 🙏 She lives with her mother, a blue hair feminist who got fat after she left me and herself sometimes identifies as bi. I think she thinks it’s cool to have a trans daughter (funny as she basically hates men). I am only able to see my daughter a few days a month. It’s not a situation I’m happy with but it’s the way it is. My daughter is very shy (introverted). When I try to ask her about it, she just goes silent and is unable or unwilling to answer me. I know she has friends at school who identify as trans (girls pretending to be boys). My daughter showed me photos of her friends and one looks so convincing that I thought she was a boy. I would gladly have her come live with me, change schools etc, but I know her mother would never agree to that. (She relies on the child support) I’m married to a different woman I met later, someone normal who is fantastic. We have two boys and everything is good at this house. I worry a lot about my daughter. I know she’s not “really trans” as she has always been a typical girly girl. She is just shy and this trans fashion has gripped her. But it seems to be leading to her doing irreversible damage to herself. I was very alarmed about the chest compression and the damage it can do. I’ve spoken to several other fathers in very similar situations to me. (Daughters live with their mum going trans) so I guess it’s happening a lot. I watched Matt Walsh film, and did ask my daughter to watch it too. She said she watched it, but was unable to have a conversation about it, so I guess didn’t watch it attentively. I’ll check out the website link you sent. Thanks for that. We never really had time for religion. I don’t know if that’s part of the problem? I would try anything that might help at this point. I certainly agree that she’s not a mistake. It’s upsetting that she could think that about herself. We live in the UK and trans treatments are free for teenagers, which seems like a stupid idea to me, but it seems the NHS is useless at treating every condition except trans. Waiting lines for cancer patients etc, but fast track for trans kids. People in the UK have also been arrested for talking about this online, but I’m willing to risk it. I don’t want my daughter to hurt herself. (If I delete this message later you’ll understand why I had to). Thanks again. 🙏

@@jameslincs Hi James. I hope you are doing well today. That sounds like a tough spot to be in. I really feel for you and hope your situation will be improved soon. I absolutely do. You sound like you love your daughter very strongly, and I commend you for that. I also feel your frustration with the NHS. I'm not from the U.K., but I've heard some ridiculous things about it... Are you talking with your current wife about your worries? If nothing else, sharing what's on your mind with her can help you find some emotional support. Remember to take care of yourself as well. As for your daughter, keep being a father who gently and often reminds her she is loved. Making sure she understands she is loved is vital. As for religion, I have a couple things to say: 1. While I STRONGLY disbelieve pressuring others into a belief system works (and I have absolutely no intention to): I can personally attest to having an awesome sense of peace, healing, and mercy within Catholicism. That is my personal experience. If you decide you want to look further into religion, that is my recommendation. Talking with a local priest would be the easiest way to explore that. 2. Jordan Peterson and his wife also have respect for catholicism. They've talked about praying the rosary and going to mass and finding immense peace in those things. I personally have as well. Anyone can pray the rosary and go to mass, too. Once again, absolutely no pressure-just here to share my experience. Have any of those dads you've talked to find anything helpful? Keep talking with them. If nothing else, they can also be good for support/ideas. Have you talked with her about people who have detransitioned and their experiences? Here's a couple of them who have shared their stories: nypost.com/2022/06/18/detransitioned-teens-explain-why-they-regret-changing-genders/ www.detransvoices.org/stories-of-detransition-from-youtube/ Share with her your concerns about the chest binders and the harm they can do. I hope and pray you and your daughter will find peace! May God bless you.

@@penguinninja4417 thanks. The other dads seem to be in the same situation, one was I’m from Canada and it seems really bad over there. One farther was fined $30k Canadian dollars for trying to talk his daughter out of making a huge mistake. So at least the UK is not as bad as Canada for this stuff. I’m sure Canada is great with other stuff. The “God made you this way” argument is not as good as it initially sounds. After all, humans alter themselves all the time with medication, glasses, hair dye, etc. phones and airplanes aren’t natural, but I don’t think anyone is really saying we should abolish them. The De-transition examples are heart wrenching for me, and I sat with my daughter and we watched one together (i basically made her watch it). And i think it might have helped a little, it had a bigger effect on me. The counter argument is that de-transitioners are not everyone and so just like a small percentage of car accidents (terrible as they are) wouldn’t mean everyone else should abolish their cars. Plus teenagers always think the bad stuff won’t happen to them. Although maybe the de-transition examples were more effective than I thought. It’s hard to tell. Maybe there are real trans people out there, I don’t know. I just know that my daughter is genuinely not one of them and so I don’t want her to make any tragic mistakes. Even if she wasn’t doing anything physically harmful, I don’t think the ideology is sound or healthy. I think it’s making her miserable. If my son said he joined the KKK I would be trying to talk him out of it, even if he wasn’t active in lynching anyone. Because I think one thing leads to another and I think bad ideologies are poisonous. Actually the LGBTQ identity politics ideology seems to share an awful lot with the KKK identity politics ideology. (Treating people differently based on what group they belong to instead of who they are as individuals). Anyway… Thanks again for your thoughts and reference materials on the subject. It’s nice to know there are good people out there 😊

@@jameslincs No worries at all. I'm happy to help. I totally agree with you that I don't want children making mistakes (especially ones that are often irreversible) that they would regret. Preventing puberty or changing one's body because they don't believe their's is correct, isn't healthy. It's okay for teenagers to feel insecure about their body because every teenager does at some point. They're at a place where they're not a child, but not yet an adult. Things are changing for them, and they might not feel prepared for those changes. But that doesn't mean we should stop them from happening. Their bodies are completely natural and they need to let nature take it's course. They will adjust to the changes and naturally relax themselves from worry. Everyone goes through this, especially around this age. I also agree that the LGBT ideology is generally poisonous for people's mental/emotional health. People are seeing others make an (often arbitrary) change to themselves, receive tons of praise for it on social media, and base their whole identity upon said changes. They become dependent on that validation from others and feel personally wronged when they don't receive recognition for it. It's like living as a toddler. Not a healthy way to grow up or live. I would attempt to disuade her from this kind of stuff as well. Does she have any talents or hobbies she enjoys? What if those were encouraged and recognized instead? She can receive praise, but for the effort put into those things instead of what her identity is. Kinda reminds me of how MLK Jr. said that a person should be recognized for their character/achievements and not for their apperance. I believe that's a healthier way for self esteem/confidence to grow. I hope things work out for you both and I hope you have a great day, James.

@Miguel Silva i thought it was interesting ok I’m easily entertained

@@Sam-bc9ll I remember hearing Jordan being interviewed somewhere and he commented that he also noticed that his audiences were intentionally dressing well. He himself has said that he specifically dresses well as a habit, because he feels it's respectful to others to present the best version of yourself. I noticed the audience right away and even paused the video to see if it was consistent with most of the people shown.

@@stefc1289 that’s honestly really nice

OH. the training was Massage Therapy. As a bonus i've also learned how to listen with my hands. Try that one on for size, JP. lol

Cambridge University, I believe

So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?

@@Leprutz Right. So, in a relationship that should be reciprocal. It cannot be one sided, otherwise the relationship deteriorates over time. But, you don't want to be a complete pushover and say all the nice things you can. Like what he says about the ratio of positive to negative encounters. That literature has always stuck with me. So, it is important to not only acknowledge the good deeds, but also to stand up for yourself when you feel that the other person in the relationship isn't acknowledging your good deeds. And man, you'd better have your arguments straight before you try that. Because negative interactions hurt us a lot more than positive interactions, but both are important and necessary.

@@robertxaypanya8506 yeah I get that. I just wanted to make sure that I completely understood what he was saying. Good to k ow. Thank you very much for reassuring and explaining once again. 🤗

He moderates the Q & A because he holds the megaphone. He’s holding the megaphone because he takes his role super seriously, I presume, the white suit is meant to symbolically deflect darkness.