Learning to be Alone 

I went on RU-vid to distract myself from loneliness but immediately found this video; I'm so glad I did. :)

Father Mike is the future generation of the Catholic Church. I pray that the light he emits inspires more young men to enter the priesthood. On the subject presented, I do not get much alone time resulting in loneliness. But when I do I don't ever consider myself lonely, I consider it me time. Time to reflect, and connect to God. Thank you Father Mike from Houston Texas.

Nobody is alone. God is always with us.

When I am lonely, that is when I feel closest to God.

I've been lonely and on my own for years, at times it caused me to seek love and comfort where I should not go. So many times I've tried to reach out and connect with people at church, but find myself being brushed aside as a single man. I'm an extrovert, confident and upfront about things and end up trying too hard to win friendships. I often get involved with activities and show interest in others, but go home feeling dejected. Often after 6 - 10 months of trying, I slide back into the shadows and cry out to Jesus. At times I felt Christians were the coldest, meanest, arrogant people around. All I've done is take strength from the Psalms and now continue to resist the urge to fall into sin.

Thank you for this. I've suffered from loneliness for years and never really understood how to deal with it. The only advice I see is "get laid", so as a practicing Catholic this is such a breath of fresh air.

Learned how to be content, happy and joyful, and in sadness at times. Letting my life plan go , along with that 'soulmate' was a sacrifice. Your will God. All Glory and Honor in Jesus Name. And bless anyone who is on or just starting there life changing journey with you Lord. 🙏🙌🙏🙌

Fr Mike, This was very insightful and helpful. I am widowed since 2016, I understand loneliness too well. But, I found that going to Eucharistic Adoration every week, and sit in silence and be open to God for 1-2 hours has helped me greatly. ❤️

I like your question, "Who is that loneliness motivating me to love?" Even negative emotions like loneliness can motivate people to do good things and to love.

And here I sit, lonely, that's why I'm watching this. You are very consoling Father.

I have just lost my husband of 50 years, after being locked down & taking him through his terminal cancer illness for past several years. Alone, no children, I now face my own health situations. As I sat @ a Cancer center I started talking with a man who was with his very ill wife. I went into my RN mindset, trying to relieve some of his stress. My small lump impending surgery/ diagnosis faded to the background, as I connected & I saw that I could help him, even for a brief small amount of shared time. Jeanne (retired RN)

Hi Father, my distraction is Netflix. I pray for comfort in silence, God bless.

One who is lonely, aught to set up a Home Altar with a Crucifix and images of favorite Saints, and let that be the focus when feeling lonely. It actually fills that void.

O Jesus through the most pure heart of Mary we offer you all of our prayers, works, sufferings, & joys of this day for the intentions of Your divine heart. Amen

One can be lonely even when you are among people ... BUT when God is part of your life, you are soothed in His peace❤️

Thank you, from Egypt with love.

This is a hard pill to swallow. I'm honestly scared now of all the uncertainties that I'm going through right now.

When time comes that you are not comfortable with being alone or being by yourself, that is a problem……. And that is why millions are addicted to social media

God is so mysterious. This video was uploaded with such perfect timing. The message here is just what I needed to hear. 😭

Catholics need to have more community like the other Christian denominations. lift each other up .. show love and unity...and connection

It's hard sometimes but I know I am not truly alone with Jesus Christ

Very well said Fr. Mike, thank you. I rather like being alone and being secluded, it's only when I'm out in the world and I observe people who are not alone that I feel those pangs of incomplete loneliness for a moment. So for me, being alone is not not the problem. I'd say my biggest difficulty is having my loneliness motivating me to move outside myself to encounter others because I am very comforted in my complete silent loneliness. One of the things I look forward to the most is being alone in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.

Being INFP... I'm comfortable being alone physically...but spiritually...I am not alone because I believe in God. :D

I’ve been alone for 22 years now. I wouldn’t go back for anything in the world to what I left but it breaks my heart for the things I’ve lost. For the things aren’t things their people, my son and my daughter and the two granddaughters have never met.For whatever reason they chose their dad over me and so there are no reunion holidays, happy, birthdays, or anything else. It’s just another day on the calendar. In fact this year my family announce that they are not going to have holidays anymore because we’re all too old for them I think it’s a shame, it bothers me a great deal. So between my original family who called off the holidays and my marriage family that align with their father I need to listen to this every once in a while to remind me, that being alone is not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a hard thing but it’s not bad, you just get used to it you fill it in with books and prayer and a couple of programs in a year to take your mind off things. I know that I am responsible for myself, and therefore there were mistakes that I made. I was not perfect. I never will be, it’s just sometimes it’s really hard to look at families who are joyful and happy during the holidays or even walking out of church and know that I don’t have that. So thanks for the good advice as I was I keep you in my prayers. Especially the accelerator foot when you are driving. Have a good weekend. I’ll see you in mass.

I wish I knew how to be lonely well. It's one of my biggest fears--being lonely. I'm always searching for a connection, or a gratification from social media, or a message from a friend or loved one. I think our "social" (but very distant and very broken) culture shows us fake communications and false connections as band aids for a much bigger need for real relationships and interactions. Our 'likes' and our 'comments' are nothing but a facade and interface for a very unreal contact. The anonymity of the internet creates in our homes, in our hands, a very distracting and very false sense of connection. I agree that our culture teaches us to shut down loneliness with distraction. More so, having us show our best highlights to the select group of 'friends' and making it even more difficult to relate to one another--distancing everyone from our true selves, to just the self we portray and 'share'. Fr. Mike, your video is so real (as most of the Ascension Presents are) and very telling about the suffering (and ultimate grace) of loneliness. I wonder if in the midst of being silent or embracing the loneliness: is there any prayer or reflection to put my heart and mind while doing so. Love your advice and love your videos!

I’ve been feeling lonely for the past two weeks on and off. Your video has broken my depression; thank you 🙏

Father Mike, thanks be to God and thank you! In my first year of college, which I just finished this past Spring, I had a lot of trouble with loneliness. (and I still have a lot of trouble with it now 😅) Isolationism and expecting others to love me were the things I struggled with the most. But, thanks to His grace, He's helping me turn inside out. Please keep me in your prayers Ascension Presents subscribers! :D and I will try to remember to keep you all in mine. :)

As a Pentecostal id agree with everything Father Mikes said but I'd go a step further to say that we need learn to be alone WITH Jesus and become a whole person through our own personal relationship with Jesus. Once we are a whole person we can meet another whole person in relationships.

Incredible, even coming from a large family you have to learn to be alone first leaving the nest. Never thought of it that way.

Father I think this is one of the best talks you've given. God bless you!!!

Thank you Father for this light:)

Thank you so much for this video. I lost my husband 6 weeks ago. I’m lonely and trying to make it.

I recently lost my husband and although I am going through the rollercoaster of emotions I find great peace and comfort in this new loneliness and quiet time. I trust that God will lead me and I will wait patiently for whats in store for my future. There are no more excuses or distractions but ample time to draw closer to God whole examining my life

My Mother told me, that Jesus will always be there for me, and I will never be alone, when you have God in your life, you will never be alone.❤❤🙏🙏 4:27

Absolutely brilliant! Thank you, Father Mike.

Delia Owens, the author of "Where the Crawdads Sing". The flood of healing tears word by brilliant word. Wow, devastated.

thank you from Puerto Rico!!! I love how God can speak to me through so many ways. I've learned that he always answers. Maybe not how you think but he will, eventually. Heck, even silence is an answer.

I love this motivational speeches on RU-vid, but Fahter Mike Schmitz potcast even more motivational. Friendly greetings from Germany.

Thank you Fr. Mike for your wise words. Through you, I have been able to see the Lord wanting to help me keep my feet on the floor. I can't even explain how my life has changed for the best with your inspirational videos. Thank you. God bless.

Thank you, Fr. Mike. As a young, lonely person, this video provided me with much-needed insight.

May the Holy Spirit guide you and the Father keep you as you shepherd us in our walk with Christ and his cross Father

Thank You Father Mike, this is what I needed to hear and understand

We are never truely alone. Jesus is with us til the end. Thanks Father Mike your messages are really goodness

Fr. Mike GOD BLESS U .Are So Precious and A GIFT OF HEAVEN

I've been dealing with this....for decades. Hard to learn to be with myself...because that's frequently all there is. Myself.

Your sister is right!! Sometimes we allow ourselves to be validated by a love of / with another, but really our validation is by God's love. So perhaps He allows us to be lonely so we learn where our true source of love comes from. Then we're alone but not lonely. during lock down it was impossible to not feel lonely at times. So I asked Jesus to come & keep me company, to lift my mood. And He did. It was great comfort & although alone I didn't feel as if I was. My mood lifted & I felt quite happy & content. Miracles happen every day.

Thank you Father Mike for sharing your talents here and Thank God for you.

Awesome Father. Thank you.

This is absolutely beautiful.

Brought me to tears because this really hit home. Thank you for helping me understand :)

Thank you Father Mike.

God bless you father! You helped me. Thank you! Greetings from Vienna, Austria

I never wanted to teach again, but due to loneliness reconnected with my friend, get a new job…teaching. And I’ve gotten to share lots of love with children, and lean on God when I feel like falling apart.

Thanks be to God and thank you. Amen and God Bless!

I'm watching this for the second time and I'm getting something completely different out of it than I did the first time. What a lovely episode. Thanks Fr. Mike!

Father Mike, you are the voice of God 🙏🙏👌.. Praying for you and your loved ones.

God bless you Father ❤

Thank you, Father.

Fully right and Fasting teach you so much about loneliness Thank you father, God bless you.

You are literally the reason I got back into practicing and learning again,its like having tips and tricks to becoming not only a better person but a better Christian,making sense of life/religion are both hard things and for the longest time my motives of seeking God ,was for a relationship with someone thinking that a relationship will solve everything when in reality even when we get something that we want we are just gonna want more, learning loneliness/singleness or accepting that i am learning from this and coming closer to God for sanctification and not a woman.

I feel lonely and it’s sad that the world it’s worse now no matter how i try to approach people only to be ignored because this world it’s so materialistic and cold people are heartless and selfish so I pray and talk to god constantly so I can deal with it god it’s great

I've been alone and in darkness so long, that I find it comforting....i feel weird being around people.

Thank you Father Mike...

I know I'm lonely but sometimes I just want to disappear and forget about everybody but then I feel alone idk how to explain this feeling 😞😑😑

THANKYOU FR.MIKE FOR THE INSPIRING REFLECTION ON LONELINESS..

The best videos on this platform

Thank you father! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Amen amen amen feel so good to hear that. Thank you. From Switzerland

Thank you Fr.Mike🙏thank you for being so encouraging,i am sincerely touched by you.👍🙏

I feel most lonely when I am surrounded by people and struggle to keep a conversation. Being alone does not make me feel lonely at all, by God's grace. Praise be Jesus & Mary.

Your Sister is indeed wise. If you don’t know yourself - THE relationship could pass you by because you weren’t ready. ❤ blessings

Thank you for sharing. I am more a Protestant but I agree with you ❤❤

man this came at just the right time.

I remember some years back a church friend of mine asked me, are you needy Jim? I went into quiet mode instantly. I was hurt but didn't let on.. I went home and pondered that question. Am I needy ? I came to the conclusion that indeed I was. I defined needy as being insecure but when my friend said needy he was just saying needy to be nice I guess. I started praying alot more and asking God to help me with being single and insecure. I didn't like being insecure, I had to change by turning my selfish will over to God. I started volunteering alot at church with, Kiwanis, bible studies , playing guitar at bible study. Getting out of myself and helping others. Getting to know others helped me get out of myself . I am a better person now years later. I got involved with life. God will help you along the journey. One day at a time.

It's better to be alone but know that god is always beside you at all times and he will comfort you when you need it. It makes you a better and stronger person and the connectivity between thyself are so much stronger.

Thank you Father💫

Oh My Father, this is something I preach about all the time. This has been my philosophy of life. I have always said that you must learn to be alone before you can be with someone else. This philosophy has served me well throughout my life. My husband used to travel with the UPPR and was gone 8 days and home for 7. I would never been able to survive his schedule if I didn't know how to be alone. It also served me well when he died. I knew how to be alone but not be lonely. I have notice over the years men have more of a problem with this new life than women.

i am muslim, but it gives me happiness to listen to you

God bless you Father Mike too, wow you always explained so well , great talk Father Mike, thank you so much!🙏🙏

I pray to learn to embrace my loneliness and yes eventually allow me to reach out to others in service & love. Amen

May God bless you abundantly Father Mike AMEN!🙏🏽🤲🏾❤️☝🏽✝️

Thank you Fr. Mike. I am a work in progress and for almost the past 10 years I have been searching for an answer to why I feel this way? Why does my heart sometimes feels as if it wants to burst? And you have made bare exactly what I need to do. Thank you...

So what about us introverts who actually relish time spent alone? I rarely feel lonely when I am alone. I actually look forward to being alone. Or is that just being selfish? Any introverts out there want to chime in??

I’m a bit of an introvert so I’m quite content and happy being alone. I meet too many toxic and negative people and cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. There is too much drama. Too much deception and lies. It really takes a toll on me mentally. I will always give myself to those who need help but at all other times, I prefer to be alone and embrace God in my heart.

Thank you Ft. Mike. I never thought in a million years I could be a saint one day but I might just be on my way! lol j/k... You're amazing. Thank you for all you do. I'm on day 202.

I love listening to you Fr. Mike! You are incredibly passionate with all the subject matters you touch on. God is at work in you and through you. Thank you for your "Fiat" to His Calling you to be a shepherd for all of us! Peace of Christ be with you always!

What a good father you could have been. But then again you are also a father in a way, more literally....

Just wanted to say, that this really hit me hard. I've just suffered a break up, and one thing that I'm struggling with the most is that sense of loneliness. It is only through this video that I have come to realise that my coping mechanism right now is to through myself into my uni work.It is a distraction from this loneliness that I am feeling. So thank you Fr Mike for really delivering the LORD's word about this, and helping me understand my current feeling. God Bless you all.

Sitting alone in silence for one hour is a wonderful practice supported by Fr. Thomas Merton. Zen Meditation while remaining faithful to our faith (redundant) can be a wonderful supplement to our faith. I wouldn't be able to cope with loneliness or my other anxieties without it.

Loved this. Thank-you Father.

Well said! don't fill a void the wrong way. The Lord will fill our voids and we will not be lonely. I learned this in an early age and it is true He will do it, ask him for it✝♥

Was looking for a distraction from the terrible breakup in going through and found this. Honestly. God's timing is beyond prefect. Still hurts, but I shouldn't dwell in it, but instead go into knowing 1) maybe it was time to move on and 2) I need to be happy with whom I am first, with my virtues and especially my flaws, before I try to make anyone happy. If I'm able to accept myself first, I will be able to accept anyone else. Thank you so much father Mike.

Love you father mike! :D you are so inspiring!! 😍😊😊 God bless you!!!

So happy i found this video

Beautiful. Because of my childhood, I developed a strong emotional 'neediness' to be in a relationship. But I didn't discern my own understanding, and the compatibility of the ladies that I married. This always led to deep pain and children being hurt. Now I live by myself. I especially miss the children, striving to protect them and bring them up in The Lord. My second wife and I do not have children together. My oldest children are around 30 years old. Because I am retired, I decided to live by a personal 'rule,' and help the Church and Sacredness of Life as much as possible. And I do see friends on a semi-regular weekly basis. I've learned to live alone; and thank God for the consolation God gives me, sometimes not even during prayer. (It may sound 'crazy,' but when alone there are time I 'talk,' to God about every day matters without being in prayer. I don't hear God's voice, but because of hearing God's Word all of my life, sometimes those words come into my heart, giving great consolation. But its more than that, difficult to describe. Maybe I'm graced with this consolation because I need it.)

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. I am totally alone. However, because God is the center of my life I am never lonely, not for a single second.

I recently had a break up. And that very day this video kept popping in my recommendation. I ignored it. Today again it popped in and i finally got to saw this beautiful message. It's so incredible to see how God works in our life. How he consoles us. Its so beautiful to experience his true love which no humans can give. Thank youfor such a beautiful video. I really needed this

Thanks Father Mike

Thank you for this. I've been alone for a long time, but I can't say I've experienced loneliness until recently. I've allowed myself to fall back on an old sin on occasion. I hate it, and I go to Confession. But now I have an idea of what to do when loneliness allows stray thoughts. I'll sit and feel lonely and be healed.

Heres hoping we took your advice from back in 2016. There will be some real lonely folks out there now in 2020.