Bottom line for everyone. Satisfaction in marriage is created. It doesn't come naturally. Beauty doesn't equal satisfaction, money doesn't either. Being intentional does. If you keep looking for better, you'll find but will never be satisfied, and will keep looking. Actually, such people have deep traumatic issues they don't know about or that they are ignoring and using "love and relationships" to heal the trauma.
Beware of Destination addiction: A preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next Place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until u give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it Will NEVER be where you are.
BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING, BEFORE WATCHING THE VIDEO 😂😂 PLEASE VISIT THE COMMENTS SECTION FIRST 😂😂aah there are some characters that have made me laugh my waistline away 😂😂
Leroy has mad balls for coming to this show and its a good thing. he has really given me foresight about this section of adulthood that people glorify and make it seem like rainbows and unicorns. Don't let other people rush you into situations you are not prepared for, you need to stay focused and get your shit and money straight, adulthood is no joke one innocent mistake can change your life and people will judge you even if your intentions were good.
Go to marriage knowing it will be work...it will never be a bed of roses all the time that time you feel like you are loosing interest start communicating it and work towards it yourself coz nobody will ever make you happy thats your own responsibility.. marriage is about choosing to be kind and choosing to be empathetic towards that person who you come home to.. also love is not a feeling it's a duty
I started of skeptical of this interview based on the interviewers introduction, but Leroy is very composed and self aware. He understands his role in everything that has happened and takes accountability. It felt like the interviewer was trying to push some sort of narative, but I feel like Leroy refused to take the easy way out by placing blame on, or slandering, his former partners. I also feel like it's important for men to have other men they can talk to and be emotionally vulnerable around. I have witnessed it and its one of my favourite things to see. Change is constant, and mistakes get made (because we are human), but being realistic with yourself and protecting the people you care about from trauma, especially if you are the one being an asshole, is a good step in the direction of trying to be a good human. Let's all be intentional with trying to be good humans. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk 😅😂😂
Have watched this and I want to give a Sincere advice as a man and I'm sure all men can support me in this. When we get married and Stay in it for years over a decade or so, we start feeling like the relationship is becoming boring, we have this conversations in our heads that we need something new and exciting, We start making all sorts of excuses, we all look for that and honestly we wouldn't say or point out something for sure and say this is what she did that's why I left in the first place. we like generalising that we weren't happy but deep down we know that's not true. The moment we step out there yes the other thing is fun in the beginning but after a while we realise it is also becoming boring and normal and the cycle repeats itself. But we are always too proud to admit this to the partners we left or the Society.
You saying a whole lot of nothing! One thing is for sure people get married for wrong reason alot its normal for things being a routine thus reason for working on a relationship constantly if not cheating is as a result!
After listening to Daddy Issues by TD Jakes & Sarah Jakes, I now understand your interview well. I pray the children grow knowing that their daddy will always be there & no, daddy did not leave because of them. Daddy is human too & he is trying to navigate through this tough life in the best way he knows how.
Oh Leroy, you are doing better than you think. I am not sure of who you are or are not as a partner but if you really are down for your kids like you say you are then you are a damn good father and that definitely counts for something. Do not be too hard on yourself, like you have said we live and learn. You have lived and you have learned, next step is to apply what you have learned or the cycle shall continue. Anyway, from a woman whose man bailed even on his child i will tell you for free that you being a present dad despite everything is something to be proud of.
Leroy,all your problems started at the point you decided to be the village cock.You cheated on your 1st wife and now your second.Dont you have a 3rd baby mama now.You are really good at putting up an act though,i give you the Emmy award.
@leroy Malu, embrace a red pill life. Live solo and smash as many women as you want. Monogamous relationship dont work for you. Embrace non monogamous relationship. Forget the lie given by society that you must be in a monogamous relationship. It doesn't work!
I have never been married but I feel your pain and your story. I've had a few failed relationships and I understand why you feel like a failure. You are not. Chase your life, dreams and love. Live in the present. 💕💕💕
First and foremost,are you accountable for your action? It's all starts there. Second,women should be cautious with a man that has a child with a woman and they are not together,ask yourself several questions before you become second,coz the same BS he put the first you will also get the same dosage. This kind of men they don't take accountability they blame others for their actions and monogamy relationship are never a vocabulary to them,it's get done with this woman and on to the next one. Be careful ladies.
Some people get it right on the third, fourth try. My dad met his third wife on his last 25 years and they had a blissful marriage till the end. Just find yourself first
Also marriage is not meant for everyone and its okay. Society needs to stop preaching that every person shoul be married and get kids. In the first world there are some people who opt not to get married nor to have kids.
Wow..Leroy is no longer with Ivy??😮😓 This is so brave of him. Not many would be ready to air their stories especially if they sense they would appear like the villain. He actually says it was mostly his fault. Its interesting to hear relationships from this depth from men, we always hear from ladies. That's growth for him. For sure there is nothing like "couple goals" because i actually used to admire them. My greatest fear is getting married and my husband falls out of love with me after many years with kids😓 I think that would traumatize me. I wish him all the best, he seems like a nice guy who has made mistakes in his life, but who hasn't.
I think, in my opinion, from one relationship before you move to the next, you need to heal…. As for men, just avoid avoid having to live all your life working hard to pay child support…. Be strong Leroy learn from your mistakes and soldier on.
this is commendable,for a man to speak out that which he has been going through,feeling vulnerable and not being shamed,at the same time taking accountability for the part that he has contributed for,thumbs up👍
Men who leave strings of broken family wherever they go. Emotionally lazy and lack of accountability. love is a collection of decisions that one makes. Until he looks into that he will continue acting like he is a victim of circumstances yet he is a master of his and his children's lives.
Leroy was (and is still) all about HIMSELF and MARRIAGE is about the other person FIRST b4 yourself the reason he would likely always walk out of any marriage. He talked about compromise and being considerate yet failed to do and be any of those!
There is NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with the questions asked by the host. Kenyans and Africans in generall are not used to being asked questions without sugat coating. The interview was neutral and well balanced. He asked the questions that needed to be asked.
Nothing was wrong with the questions sir, it was the how that was a problem. He would be better' interviewing someone on business matters. He ended up being condescending.
@@lyds2548 he was trying to give the impression of balance journalism but just come off as indifferent & condersending. Respectful he is a news coaster he should not be dealing with human interest stories
Team, the background noise takes away from the conversation (the dishes cluttering, people speaking etc) ... I'm sure you can do better... Also check on the mics...
My key take away... despite who did what, everyone hurts when it falls apart. We often take sides and don't take time to find out how an individual is really doing.
@@sakuraesther6309 And once a cheater always a cheater, i would be hesitant to get with someone who separated from the previous relationship because he cheated.
Lol,, marriage is so structural in our society that it gets down to failure or success,,pliz. If most families don't see eye to eye, what's so unique about marriages failing. I feel like we are so keen on the marriage that it has become a living thing that people get committed to It the marriage"' not the person,so much that we forget it's two flawed people period! Ain't nothing wrong with 2 failed marriages, ain't nothing wrong with 10 that didn't work. Life is meant to be experienced not tolerated,, ain't nothing shameful about navigating till you find what eventually works for you. I commend him for leaving rather than staying in environments that are not healthy.
Marriage is structural because that is how God ordained it to be before we begun to bring our own human understandings instead of taking what Gods word says as it is. Actually what society has done is, it has watered down the sanctity and the true essence, beauty and meaning of marriage. No love and no respect for one another. We look for love in all the wrong places, and we get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. If a marriage fails, both should look within to see , learn, and understand why they attracted each other in the first place because, we attract people of our own nature. Problem is we do not like taking personal responsibility of looking at ourselves in the mirror, accepting what we see, and dealing with that by working on our individual selves( its called personal development) in stead, we get into another relationship, and give the other person the responsibility of "fixing" us and making us happy. it cannot and will never work. Also, it is good to realize that when there are kids in the picture, in every marriage, they are not only being raised in a very tired and toxic environment, they are also watching. And now we have a generation of young people suffering from mental disorders than any other age before this one. They are torching schools, abusing alcohol, and drugs, getting pregnant/ and fathering children at a young age, these children are now being raised by their parents, and the cycle continues. If someone goes through more than 2 failed marriages, it is no longer the other person/spouses fault, It is not even God's fault, the problem is with them as individuals and their spiritual and mental laziness of not wanting to do the work on themselves. They need to look inside to uncover what the problem or trigger is and deal with it. SOme issues are generational. But they can be resolved. Peoples feelings are not switches that can be put on and off whenever one feels like. You move from one marriage to another , hurting people, bringing children into the world, and then expecting the world and the people around you to bow to your demands........ The failure to take personal responsibility and then blaming it on society or God is selfish and immature.
@@skatulle Take a chill pill darling, that's life for you.... ain't nothing new that you've mentioned,the new thing is that finally we're in a progressed generation in that we can choose to leave. Otherwise all that happened and people were stuck in toxic environments and that has been it since time immemorial. There was murder in the very first family that God created, that's life. Just through the Bible you'll see all shapes of toxicity in families. Nothing new. It's like complaining about why the world is unfair,it just is period. Also don't get stuck in what God did, we're no longer under the law, we're under Grace,we're redeemed,, we're living in what God is doing now, the new testament,the new covenant. We can't be the Jews that were so committed to the laws the "structure" that they couldn't see that God was doing a new thing. And in that note,,the very Law was God given, and the very thing He came to challenge. We can't be so caught up in what He did and not see what He's doing now. When a thing becomes so obsessive it risks taking the form of an idol,hence I said we're so committed to the marriage,the thing and not to the partner that we'll do everything to keep it, "the thing" at all costs. That's dangerous,so very dangerous. Of course we have better information,we are more than privileged than the generations before us in that we have tools to better deal with our emotional baggages , and so we have to do better. But sometime it just is what it is. And leaving in itself is neither good or bad,its relative. Sometimes people who are better at being partners are not necessarily good parents and vice versa and there's nothing wrong with that. We are all equiped differently. Separating doesn't mean failing or bad blood,, people don't have to stick together to do a good job at parenting. With that said,, nobody is hurting anybody,,we have to take responsibility for our lives coz we already know it's impossible to change people. As unfair as it sounds,unless it was violence or out of control,, nobody can hurt you without you allowing them to. We take responsibility of our pains, traumas and all that,coz only then can you heal and move forward. But as long as you're a victim' and pointing fingers at 'people who hurt others and cause pain ,what you are is stuck. It is not God's will for His people to 'suffer' in the name of marriages. If the marriage costs more than it gives,, I say move,,,aint no commitment greater than to yourself!
I actually think Leroy when he entered both relationships he had high hopes it will be for life and didn't expect to fall flat on his face twice. I'm sure he really tried to make it right on the second relationship. Anyway he shouldn't be too hard on himself which is easy for me to say considering the fact that us men take things like these hard and can lead to depression.
@@pete7289 He didn't fall flat on his face,, it's two relationships that ended,,,that does not equate failure. The relationship ending does not erase the joy,,lessons, insight and richness that was born that adds to his story. And the end of a romantic relationship does not mean there isn't friendship. This systematic view of things is what's a failure. That was a period of his life, not a test to fail or to pass. Just like everybody's life story isn't one thing. We must intentionally relearn some of these social structures that serve us no more. In no way during the interview does Leroy come out as a victim or a failure, infact most of the questions asked were not addressed in the best way. The interviewer was pushing his own points of view and taking inventory on a story that was not his. He had a preconceived conclusion on somebody's else story. Leroy seems like a guy with a good head on his neck that's sharing his life experience relationship wise,and he should own his story. There was bias,an interviewer should be neutral, careful to not pick a side,otherwise there's risk of contamination on people's storys.
@@lyds2548 No one is picking sides, i was saying that for men we tend to judge ourselves harshly for these types of things because of the pressure that has been ingrained on us since childhood and the worst thing about us men is we never talk about it we just choose to suffer in silence. Hence why this guy came with this platform because he knows this habit of men keeping their pain to themselves trying to act solid always leads to self destruction.
This is the worst interviewer for anyone that wants to tell their story honestly! He gives judgy vibes and is making him quite uncomfy ! There are better ways to get the same answers !
I was looking for this comment!! Plus it feels like he's pushing for particular answers..He makes it feel like more of an interrogation than a conversation 🙄
Why is he speaking in 3rd person? Lol He needs to go to therapy and confront his trauma, issues and take accountability. Unless you know why you keep making the decisions your making, you will keep making poor decisions and thus creating more children to grow up in broken homes. This is a great platform for Kenyan men but there needs to also be hard questions asked resources for them to go to seek professional help and advice.
What Leroy is forgetting to tell the whole world is that He was still with the first wife when he got Ivy pregnant. That's plain cheating. Ivy also left him because he cheated and now has a baby with the third woman. Mashida zingine ni za kujiletea tu juu ya damu moto.Huyu ni King Solomon,father Abraham,Diamond Platinum,Nick Cannon,Pius Marara,Baba Abby.If you dont gerrit then forget about it.
If he cheats on his wife with you,he will also cheat on you.men will embarrass women and teh circle continues..women,we let this men get away with alot of things
One thing I have learnt in my short life is that men are so manipulative and caniving. If his children were really his focus, he wouldn’t be here trying to give his “life experiences so far”?? Also, it was so evident that he cheated because he said his left his first partner after 13 years and the son is now 14. Kwani Ivy’s kids are 0.4 years? C’mon. You have a chance to tell your story and then you let simple arithmetic fail you? Shame on you!!!! Also what’s so wrong in coming out and saying, guys, I fucked up and cheated? You’ve not learnt anything in your 13/14 years+ of debauchary? Foolish!
😊iiish who hurt you ? I mean people make mistakes and you don't have to dictate everyone's journey ...I mean you acting so perfect darling ,,,why don't you view things in the perspective that he is also human and he deserves some Grace ......I mean the reason as to why we get hurt in this relationships is seeing your partner as a God and you don't expect them to do wrong ,then you end bitter like you right now and expect them to apologize how are they even supposed to be accountable and approach you when you that bitter darling? and the fact that he was open and real show's how sorry he was🤗 if you feel like you can't take it just forgive for your own sake and let them go .....an rather than condemning everyone for their mistakes atlist start your healing journey
I always felt that Ivy was too good and intelligent for this guy. His type can't handle and alpha female like ivy. Ivy needs a man who's level of self consciousness is above the sky, plus money making ability.
@@Habibtay Dont hold her with high regards,Leroy was her Boss,she knew Leroy had a family wife and children but went ahead and had sex with him.Infact what drove her was Leroys money by then.Thats now where all her troubles began,Leroy's money was the fuel of the relationship...you can now guess what happened afterwards. She's another pretender,she's probably looking for the next rich man,let social media not fool you.
I don't like how people are throwing stones left right centre. There were two people in a relationship and other than them and God I don't think anyone else knows the solid truth.
At 12:10 yes its is very normal for a person to get out a relationship and get into another one in under a year reason being the 13 year must have already been dead for a much longer period and they were just tolerating each other but fact remains it might have been dead years before they made it official.
What exactly is your problem @Riobae? I have seen you all over the comments bashing Ivy. Leave her the hell alone! Surely! Did she cheat with you or on you?? Leave her the hell alone!
This guy is a good actor though,he cheated on his first wife,left without a reason but he now has the audacity to do an interview of how his life is sad.He even has a third baby mama on the way,you cant make somethings up,you definitely have a pattern and you're the problem .Stop doing your first wife dirty when you were not man enough to even tell her why you suddenly left.
@Truthteller eeeeiiiii you are all over the comments...if you experienced it personally no explanation will ever make sense as to why it happened.so it is best for your future,heart and mental health that you heal and move on.
Love yourself, know thyself and define your purpose. Until you do, no one and nothing will make you happy. Se ding love and prayers to all. I enjoy my hubby, friends and people so much since I came to understand myself
We have all made mistake been there done that and got a T-shirt. The way forward is forgive yourself for not knowing better.move forward n start a new chapter with the past mistake being your guide the goal is to finish well
Leroy and his first wife were my neighbors. He left home end of 2016. The twins he got with JustIvy are 4 years 8 months now..Considering a pregnancy takes 9 months...Everyone can do their math and see that this guy is lying. He cheated. Plain and simple. I think women should also have a Woman cave where we get the other side of the story and we compare notes.
She was my neighbor and one of my closest friends. I was at her house everyday when she was going through this. So I know everything. Even Leroy knows this.
Well. I wish most people would take this approach. It hurts more to be in a toxic relationship. Both to you and your partner. And when the adults in the relationship are not emotionally stable, it's the kids who suffer. And guess the type of adults they end up becoming...toxic ones as well
Woi,this one is a cheat,ako na watoto everywhere now he is shocked that he is traumatized. Such an actor this one.He cheated on the wife with Ivy,tublus!twins wakaingia sahii ako na mtoto na the 3rd woman.Hii trauma ni ya kujiletea but he is now blaming the first wife.
Monogamy never works for such dudes. He should embrace Mgtow life and just live solo and have as many baby mamas as possible. Entering marriage every time will ruin him financially. Child support will take it's toll on him because he has 4 kids to support. Same case to Frankie just gym it. Monogamy will never work for such dudes. Embrace open relationship or just live alone and do as you wish with no one to answer to.
Just think for a minute. Why should his lack of balance and focus in his life cause/disorient the children he has and the children you want potentially for him?? Let him get snipped and hire call girls if he cannot keep it in his pants. His ruining not only his life, but the women and children involved. Sorry, but you do not get to be the head and skip out on the consequences of your actions. He needs to stay single at least for the good of others in my opinion.
@@truthteller3125 I knew something was up when his pictures disappeared from Ivy's page. Weren't they engaged? Men in Kenya need to realize that kids are EXPENSIVE. You should only have as many as you can afford. Anything else is irresponsible behavior. There's no way he can afford to support 5 kids and he works for himself. When men talk about kids out of wedlock they need to start talking about the money (anything else is nonsense.
I'm glad y'all are self aware, enough to know that monogamy doesn't work anymore. Infact it has never worked. I still don't get why I have to be pegged to one human being for the test of my life. This one is just a careless man.
The interviewer should never interview anyone on anything emotional/human in nature. It ended up feeling like he was here to make Leroy look some type of way.
I like the conversations here, but why do people fall out of love? Should we all marry late like maybe in our early thirties...like is age a factor in settling down? From the look of things most women who marry at thirty happen to have solid relationships guaranteed, just look around...but still my question is age a factor? And in our twenties we should just focus on school and income creation and traveling? Maybe that way we will avoid failed relationships???? And looking at separation rates in the US 🇺🇸, most of them happen when the couples are in their 30's and 40's.....
So he just woke up and decided to do this interview and tell us what happened! He keeps saying "his wife" .... Yet he left her Mbona sio ex? Then refers the previous partner to "the other " hmmm Huyu amelala (denayoooo /emotional damage) Jesus Christ .... "varying answer's of when the other relationship started" Ati "compromise and consideration....." nyef nyef do you even know what you are saying 😆 mushensssssss The nerve to call her crazy khai Ati her conversation to have Kwanza what is his fucking motive? A siz is doing well and his just here Hurting and he's now trying to hurt her ... Ati he's traumatized.... Na "we be considerate (nyenyenye 100%) of men because no one wakes up and decides to be in another relationship" Khai Enyewe love is for the birds
I hadnt notice that..He actually calls his ex wife, The wife and calls Ivy the other. Its like he doesn't want to mention her name though we all know its Ivy. Maybe Ivy asked not to be mentioned. I think he needs counselling for real though,he doesnt understand the weight of his actions yet
Wait..sasa hii interview...wamesema nini? It feels like they just brushed through the highlights. I was waiting for an in depth story. Mara live & learn, her story to tell, i was uncomfortable....yada yada....ang'owa!?? Apana Eric Latiff!!! We need to hear a good interview & discussion with a good flow. Apana kizungu mingi 😂 You barely scratched the surface & left us with some skeleton of an interview yawa🙄!! Noo you can do better. Mwaga chai mzuri buana..🤦🏾♀️
Your 1st child is 14 and have been married 13years and have 2 kids with your 1st wife. So he had a whole affair to get the other 2 kids. So irresponsible. When one is not honest they will never change.
Yeah, “it’s always the man’s fault” That is the stereotype by the society. And at along the line, the man begins to believe it is actually his fault. And gets goes into a depression!
Kwanza huyo Ivy alipata twins with a married man,Leroy was still with the first wife time Ivy got pregnant ndio baadae they moved in together. Sahii sasa pia Ivy alifanyiwa the same thing,Ako na mtoto mwengine na some other woman.
There is nothing wrong with polygamy or polyamory .If that is your path please stop destroying the lives of monogamous people.you can live your truth without hurting other people.This man cheated and ia creating broken families for his own selfishness .SHAME ON HIM AND JUST IVY FOR BREAKING THE FAMILY
There’s nothing wrong with polygamy if all parties are consenting. You don’t just cheat and then think you can call the situation your “wife”. Even in Islam where it’s permitted, men have to seek permission from their wives.
Terrible Interviewer. It's painful to watch him ask the questions ... but great interviewee - Leroy Malu. Please do the story again with a good interviewer.
He looks toxic ,n not sorry for any of his failed marriages ,,I hope no other woman will take him serious leave alone have kids with him ,, ju hii ni stress tupuu ,heh men 🙆🙆🙆
@@betsykairianja8976 Actually its the opposite, rumour has it that Ivy and Leroy got together at their previous work place and Leroy was her boss. He drives a Mercedes so i bet he isn't that badly off
