Hey ladies when I meet a man and he ask, "what are you looking for in a man" the best response for me has been "I am looking for a man to be exactly who he is so I can observe, then figure out if he is someone I want in my life." Say it sweet and with confidence. Works like a charm. 😉
"Remove the desperation, the frustration, things that make you do too much, give too much, show too much. Just read and respond, let him do the talking." Amen Tony.
I mean its true tho. It makes me think about what people have said to me years ago. "Just be yourself" but ive noticed some want to "win" so much they will deceive. Honestly tho nowadays, love is a transaction. Real love is free.
What about reciprocating or being true to the energy he gives you. For me I don’t hold back on love. If you give me 50, I put in 50 but it seems men don’t like it that way. Maybe I should start holding back but it’s gon seem like I’m toxic. Relationship is hard.
I just met this man about a week and a half ago and I’ve have definitely been doing too much 😩 from today on... if he doesn’t call me won’t be talking and if he doesn’t text me or give me updates on what we are working on he won’t hear from me.
So true I solely agree. I also notice women. That cling to men that have no jobs. Live with their Momma's. Some women have their own Apt. But get off work and go straight to his Momma's house. And lay up with him in his one room. 🤔 No way would I disrespect myself like that or his Mother home. They just have no self esteem.
LADIES: Focus on living a FULL LIFE SINGLE. I just came back from a solo Vegas trip and meet two nice gentlemen and one took me out to dinner after meeting him during a dirt bike tour! Even if I never meet these dudes again, live a life of abundance! Fitness, meal prep, hobbies, travel, etc whether you got a man or not.💕💋
I met this guy at the gym and we had 2 dates. Initially he would call regularly but leading up to and on Valentine's day the calls turned to texts. Then the day after Valentine's he asked me to go to his place so he could cook breakfast or lunch. I suggested that we meet somewhere for lunch. He said he had been working all week and wouldn't feel like getting out. I said well I'm not ready for home visits. He proceeded to go off, by text message. Tried to shame me. Said I have trust issues and some more junk. He said we are both too old to have that mindset. I was like, I don't know you but you be well sir. Lol
One of my ex husband's jump offs thought she was something serious. Slept with him on the first night and did everything his wife wouldn't do in her words. He ended up leaving her high and dry and talking about her like a dog. She did the most for the least respect, in the end she found out she was one of many. Although she bragged that she was very experienced , he only appreciated her expertise until he didn't want her anymore. So being exclusive isn't enough, a man needs to marry a woman first and make sure he's God sent.
wendy2630 yeah still gotta make sure it’s the right man to marry because I have men in my family that marry women but talk about them like a dog even while still being married to them ( and they talk about their ex wife’s like dogs) like you said make sure he’s god sent
He lean over to kiss, he got the 19, he showing no symptoms, now you got the 19. You got respiratory issues *Clap* Now you going to meet the Lord. 🤣😂 Went From 0 to 100 real quick
Boys should be tought that!!!!! Wish my father had respected my mom so I could learn that early on, how to respect and value myself and not give myself away to any man. Also my brother woul have learnt to respect women.
I hollered when he said “he got that 19” 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂....TONY NEVER CEASES to MAKE me SCREAM IN LAUGHTER!!!! So I’m done saying “the Rona” ... it’s “that 19” 😂🤣😂
HeyA Cher!!! Got dat right sis!!! You do move different when you kno you worths!!! I am so grateful for Tony's self love course!!! Have great day Cher.😌💃❤
My dad told us stories how he was a player. And never put us his daughters on game. Didn't protect us, I ended up bumping into men that were who he used to be.i had to learn completely the hard way. I am so happy you are out here being honest. God bless you and your family forever Amen.
After just 10 months of marriage with verbal, mental and physical abuse , I thank God for this brother Tony . Watching his videos have pushed me to separate from my husband for the safety of me and my kids !! I’m going BACK HOME. 😭🏃♀️🙌🏽
Destanis Destiny yess. Know your worth and never let no piece of crap dishonor the lord by putting his hands on you. God loves you and you must love yourself. God bless
Good for you my sis….. May Jehovah bless and Cover you under his protective wings. I too am a survivor of Mental, Emotional and more so Physical abuse for 6 years. I knew when I had enough and I left. God is a good God!!!! We’ll be okay!!!!!
I am a woman over 50. This is the only way I know to do it. With that said, these men to include “Christian” men are pushing a whole different agenda. They want everything but marriage. I had to be content with my standards. If it’s meant to be, he will find me.
@@cynthiastevens8302 meeee tooo.. I have a drawer full of rings but.. I think they ask me as a last stich effort... and they won't take the dang ring back even when I say I don't know .. or no... its the craziet thing !!
@Von Austin a drawer full of rings?? Gurl. You betta write yo book! You sitting on a goldmine. Blk women especially have been sold a bunch of bunk that spot of us have absorbed and low key are afraid is true. You are clearly not having THAT problem. Lol
Shoot that was really good. I can't believe I listened to the entire video. Tony was spitting some real truths. Opened my eyes, even though this was geared toward the women. If a man really wants a woman, he will put in the work. I can attest to that because when a man really want to be with someone, he'll go all out for that special lady.
Hearing All tony said I feel so ashamed of myself, I used to do all those things thinking it will keep a man, guess what I'm still single. Thank you so cause I'm going to get it right this time
I slept w my husband on the very first day and we married and lived happily ever after for 19 years until God took him away from me. So now in my age I do not care. If it comes naturally and I know and talk to the man for some time I will want him in some point Then only destiny will show if is for and I m for him. If I slept w him and he does not want me after that too bad for him. Something wrong with him. All these rules are for teenagers . Been married twice My rules work i know for sure. Cooking is a pleasure for man you love.
@CoolJ Nah, you can just begin your life again by prioritizing yourself, your needs: emotionally, spiritually, sexually. You need to start there. Then, get excited about real discovering your authentic self and be a woman with self love, pride, and se,for respect, not to mention the confidence you will gain.... This is not a psss/fail system. Allow this to be a comassionate process met with patience, self love practice self compassion matched it with passion and be inspired. This is an adventure of self discovery. By doing these things... you will be armed with the knowledge of self.
Treating him like a married man until HE express monogamous interest is the guideline I’ve been looking for. Now it’s crystal clear and I know exactly what [NOT] to do. Thank you so much.
I hate I’m crying to this . Thank Hod for my baby but this the biggest heartbreak ever. I have to let him go and I can’t even bare it . Two years and my first baby. Pray for me. It’s not easy.
@@serraross14 thank you girl ... can you believe it?! 4 weeks later thanks to grace of God ! In school ! Bills paid ! Baby happy! We have to get a car and we will be great until then Uber suffice
I was 25 years old, now Im 56..my older male cousin told me to mirror a man no matter how I felt about him and that I wouldn't go wrong I honestly didn't quite understand it then as I do today, recently with this ghosting behavior which is new to me I've had to learn the hard way if a man goes ghost let him be a ghost. TG💯
That’s so funny: “I slide down the pole, I sing on the microphone... “OMG! Real talk! LOL! You mighty good juggling balls! SMH! I so need this lesson. Thank GOD for Tony Gaskins! This is such a blessing to hear... Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us to help us become better women. It’s hard to hear, but needful!
Oh I feel so bad for makin such poor decisions in my life. I got a real church bell going off next to my ear now, I get it now so clearly... and I will NEVER make those stupid mistakes again! Lord have had mercy on me for sure!!! Thank you Tony for this powerful video!
Thank you for your knowledge and wisdom. I am a Guy and im taking notes and learning from you . I know this is for the women but im taking notes. Its very very helpful. Its helping me become a Godly man.
He's dropping mad gems, but when he hit us with the "...he got that -19... if you got respiratory issues, you going to meet the Lord". TOOK ME OoOoOoUT!!
The first 10 dates like that?😩I’m still going to use your advice bc I’ve seen it be effective. But these men today Tony😩 they’re horrible!!! If you only knew😔
I had a 17 date goal with a guy, once. Around date 8, he asked for exclusivity, to which I was surprised but agreed to. Right after date #16, found out he was stopping by another woman's house after our dates for booty call 🤦. Like WHY did he wanna be exclusive if he wasn't even gonna try?
brittany jalisa Tony knows, that is why he have these encouraging sessions. And why he is married. Thank God for real men like him who really appreciates a woman. Good for him!
Hi Elisabeth Robbins, That thought came to mind as I had be listening to Mr. Gaskins to ask, How to know the man is truthful about wanting to be exclusive? Then, it occurred to me like in everything else! We have to watch for the “signs.” There will be red flags. There will be inconsistencies in his conversations. There will be body language he shows. Last but not least, our intuition or the a Holy Spirit with direct our paths. God knows we live in a world of carnal minded people, and God is available for us to reach Him 24-7 by just asking. God said you have not because you ask not. Remember God wants the very best for His children. So, don’t forget to ask for what you want. God supplies with according to His riches in glory! Be bless! We live and learned. Stay well, stay strong, and stay safe!
Yesss! I feel like there are a lot of women who are seeking help in relationships and are ready to be married BUT many of these dude frown upon seeking help or any info in regards to getting and keeping a relationship! I mean if you dont wanna lose your good thing why not equip yourself and learn how not to lose your good thing!
It’s not our fault. We were taught to please men. We were taught to give ourselves and be selfless. This was taught to us since we were very young little children. At school, church, the teachings were ingrained in us. It was designed to keep us as servants, slaves to other people. We only learned the truth after life experiences and being on our own. By talking with our BFF 👯♀️ and getting the facts of life, and watching these videos we learned the reality of life. Took many years to learn this. Especially when life is so busy and you’re busy working and raising a family. Time teaches us. Men were taught to be that way too. They weren’t taught the right way to be a man. Only manipulating women. That’s why this happens. You live and learn. “Once you know better, you do better.” (Maya Angelou & Oprah) It’s never too late to change.
Wow thank you so much for dropping these gems and giving us this insight. I was molested as a young girl and let me tell you how twisted my mindset was .. it was all the way backwards. Glad I came across this during my healing my journey ❤
Definitely learning this .... I have a tendency to over give when I like someone at the beginning ... it’s still early hopefully I don’t mess this one up 😬
Bro Tony Gaskins I wish I could of listen to you way early in life I've never would of made poor choices with men in my life. Your teaching is truly enlightening so much wisdom at hand.thank you so much and may God bless you abundantly for your wisdom as a man. Your kind come very rare.
Hello! Thank you for this video. As a 61 yr. old woman who had no paternal guidance or father figures, I really appreciated this video. Between you and R.C. Blakes, I am growing so much. God bless you.
Thank you... I'm 24 years old, and was never taught how to show a man in his language you respect yourself. I think we speak differently so, to speak their language is an art form. Some of this is defenetly both languages but some, isn't so common for women to know how to speak. Thank you for your knowledge !
Your comment about speaking the man’s language and showing you respect yourself in that same language … is 💯 I have never thought of it that way so that’s amazing you put it that way
Your mature and conscientious advice is golden, especially in this modern era where there's so much noise and principles and values are being diluted with utter nonsense. Thank you for sharing the important lessons of healthy partnership that you've learned.
I’ve been knowing this new guy for a month and on our first date he wanted to come pick me up and I told him I had errands to run so I would meet him there. He said he never had anyone turn him down when he offered to pick them up. He hasn’t been to my house and I’m not sure when I will allow him to.
Hey, don’t do it! Not only because of the 19....but he may be a stalker. I still have two dudes who ride by my 🏠 that I am through dating. They like to pop up. I hide my car in my garage now lol! Funny not funny....don’t do it. 🤗 ❤️
The answer is never get to comfortable to let a man fool you.. Never invite him to Ur home and never give anything before marriage and do not tell him that this is Ur plan
@@Christina_320 yes I AM NOW! Thank you for checking on me. 💕 It was so hard for me, the fact that someone you put so much love, life, time, into can really emotionally kill you. So hard for me 8 months ago, I really wanted to die, I was beyond close to killing myself, I just wanted to end the pain I didn't want to feel it anymore. I went to the breakwall, and I watched the water, I watched the waves, and all I wanted to do was jump into the water and let it take me out, let me feel Free from all the pain, just take me away. I felt like my life was over, I felt like how can someone do this to me... The affair killed me inside, and I don't even know to this day how I really feel. There are so many times in the angry, there are so many times I'm resentful. I do not know what the future holds for me, or my children. I do know this much, I would rather be all alone, all by myself, and wake up in the morning feeling like I can breathe. I do not want to wake up in the morning and feel like I'm walking on broken glass, never knowing when the next vase is gonna crash.
@@ShannonShenanigans79 I hear you I’m so sorry you went through this. The pain is monumental I know. My X was an abusive alcoholic. Told me lies and hid his addiction very well from me. People say, how can someone commit suicide. But scarily enough, there is a seemingly calm peace about just leaving earth. There have been times where I have been out taking a walk thinking my life would just be better if I put an end to it. Within a matter of seconds I can be gone. But what stopped me is the love of Jesus. Knowing if I took my life I may spend the next life in hell instead of paradise. I’ll keep praying for you. You’re not alone in this. I can feel your pain from miles away. I ask that the God of all creation would send his Holy Spirit to calm and comfort you like those ocean waves. There is a stillness in God and yet a roaring power that cannot be contained. Take care!
Thank you for the talk. I was with a man that never tried to touch me nor disrespect me in any way. We were friends before lovers. I mean Lovers as in what we felt in our hearts for each other, not lovers, as in loving up on each other. Sadly, he passed away from stage four cancer back in March 3, 2012, I have been single since. I can never find a man as genuine as David. I'm happy with the time I had in a loving relationship. I know, I won't find another David, but, I am happy at least with the experience of have been truly loved. I don't want to lose that feeling to a man who would treat me bad. No thanks, I am good.
Damn Tony that was deep!! You opened my eyes and preached exactly what I needed to hear. I may have to replay the video a few times because I’m blown away. Thank you for your wisdom and truth...✌🏽 wow
When he gives his time and spends his money. Where a man’s treasure is there is his heart ❤️. Allow a man to spend/invest courting. Be expensive ladies. Expect to be courted and know what your end goal is. Courtship is a purpose to marry. No sex involved. Court for a year through every holiday and season to test if he’s worthy pf your hand. If he isn’t speaking and actions matching what true courtship is cut ties ASAP and keep being courted by others no feelings involved. Analytical > Emotions. Know what you want. Boyfriend or husband? Masculine men are leaders, providers and protectors.
A guy used that "I wana bring you flowers" when asking for my address..I hesitated yet the chivarly aspect was playing on me, however every time after that when he picked/dropped me..he would wxpect an invite in..& I tild him NO! & expected a gdbye kiss every time he dropped me off, tlkn about he was waiting on the right time ugh but I'll never let a guy pick me up from home again & I take my own car now as well, nice chivalry guys will try & play ya too😁..
My boyfriend been amazing he calls me all the time we talk for hours and he also texts me sometimes at work and on weekends he comes over my place and stays over for the weekend we been together now for a little over 6 months and it's still the same I think I finely got it right after all the bad relationships I had in my past.
Took some time to think, and I think you should drop a few more vids for us fellas here and there big bro! It’s a lot of the other dudes on YT giving us bad game, I ain’t gone mention they names but you know, so I think we’d all appreciate it if you did some more vids to specifically give us fellas the game on some stuff we need to work on and do! Love bro ✊🏾
This is basically like preaching like from what you’re saying from your point of you I don’t know how you’re not married or in a relationship like you’re just by yourself but you give so much great advice
I wish I would have found this video last year... with this knowledge I would have canceled the guy on the third date... he physically abused me when I was 8 months pregnant with our daughter. My dad never taught me how to date, probably because he wasn't a "good man" himself... damn... I'm taking this advice. I MUST break this generation curse.
It took me so long to bring my ex to my house , he didn't like that, and thats okay because I have 2 sons and don't know you and I'm wanting to get to know you first before I bring you to my house But he tells me something wrong with me, no brother ain't nothin wrong with me, I'm just not going fall for your bullshit
Thank you! This has been very enlightening. A lot of what you have said makes me question if it’s all a game but it makes so much sense when I hear you say I need someone to earn me.
I choose a man based on the content of his journey from childhood until present. I asked what’s your purpose in life? I’m looking for a protagonist in an evolving and meaningful story. I finally found my life partner based on his story. I tell him I’m in love with him because of the man he’s become from the person he was. He knows I’m different. I didn’t start cooking for him until after a year of him proving me that he’s worthy of what I can bring to the table. I told him at the beginning before we were a couple, I don’t do wife stuff anymore because I am no one’s f*ing wife. He laughed. 😅
I'm learning so much from this, you are amazing, please don't stop teaching us about what we should know, some of us never had role model men in our lives.
I think dating is a lot like applying for jobs, some great candidates get rejected just cause they have one typo on the resume. I really just feel like in the end the right people come together regardless of how good or bad they are at dating or if there is a mistake or two here or there on the road to commitment. That said, Tony thank you for telling us what worked for you and attractive for you, I will definitely use some of the tips.
I had one calling me babe soon after he approached and met me. He thought he was gonna sleep with me and when he found out he wasn't he got totally upset. He called for few months that finally ceased. He lives 1500 miles away from me. I'm not interested though. Total turn off. Things he said and the corny memes he send. Kick rocks Navyman. I don't care how you look, what type car you got or job. Boy bye.
Dang I thought I was doing good but now that I've watched this i feel like I've messed up. We met at the park had a good time. The second time he kissed me and I let him....damn it.
I have a profound amount of respect for the fact that although this ministry is also your profession, you put this content out for free and it sets people free. I understand that it also solidifies your brand and credentials, but this is SERVICE and I am most grateful for your gifts. God bless you 🫶🏽
When I refused to come to a man’s house for dinner and stay overnight. He said that no man would ever put a ring on my finger because I was being difficult. I laughed, and said boy please, that’s your hurt ego talking….any man would be blessed to be my husband.
I have a male colleague, who is in a relationship with a girl who is studying in another city. I asked him once how often do they meet. He told me, that every Friday, he drives 3 hours to her and early on Monday mornings, he comes back straight to work. And then you have men who tell their girlfriends , living in the very same city that they don't have time.
That was me. My husband was driving 4 hours every week before he transferred to the same city but even then he was driving 2 hours faithfully to see me. Never made excuses. He made the time. Even when we went tom2 different churches. He went to his service then left and met me at my my afternoon service. If they want you they will make the time and the effort.
The free love movement that started in the 60s has escalated to the point of what it is now. Men don't have to be faithful to a girlfriend or a wife,.. BECAUSE they don't even necessarily have to get a wife 😞.. because they don't have to wait to have sex for marriage,.. men would throwback their head and laugh at that outdated thought.😢😮😊 If women would just close their legs you might say then things could go back to men wanting women in marriage. However; something NOT new and perverse is happening that happened and was brought out in the Bible in Genesis, about Sodom and Gomorrah..😮 Men having sex with men. No longer a bizarre thought in many people's minds, a man will turn to another man in many cases if a woman will not put out.😊 Nobody it appears is thinking of the moral consequences. Guess what? GOD IS...HE IS THINKING ABOUT IT AND HE WILL HOLD ALL PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE THAT ARE IMMORAL. So why am I putting this comment on this particular place. Just so you know that it is all under control,..( nobody is getting away with anything) God is not letting anybody get away with anything that they shouldn't be doing. They/We will all answer to God on their/my judgement day.🎉❤
I share his content with all of my sisters. Dad just doesn't know how to have these conversations because he still isn't ready for his babies to grow up.
