Let's Chat! | Parenting Challenges, ADHD, School Struggles and Learning to Let go 

I totally understand how you feel. I went thru this with my daughter. She has adhd and it was a struggle. She just graduated this year and it was such a relief. She is now working full time and figuring out her next steps. Didn’t push college with her. She needs to decide what she wants to do. It is hard to step back but you gave him all the tools, now he has to put them to use. Watching them struggle is hard. My daughter figured it out pretty quick that I wasn’t going to jump in and save her anymore and it really helped her grow. You got this!

I completely agree with letting go. I know it’s hard to do. I have a 16 year old daughter who I used to completely micro-manage but I’ve learned to let go for the most part. I do give reminders once in awhile just to let her know I’m still paying attention. Eventually they learn to get their act together, even if it’s during college, or once they’re adults. You’re an AMAZING mom and as long as you continue to show love and support he will be okay. I promise.

Hi Jessi. I am still working my way through your vlogs and started watching this one while prepping dinner. I had to stop in the middle so I could send you a big hug! I do not have any children of my own but wanted t let you know that I do appreciate you sharing this difficult struggle with your subscribers. My heart is aching for you over the stress this is causing. I have said it before and will say it again......…..you are an awesome Mom who is fully supportive of her kids and truly is an awesome Mom. I can tell this breaks your heart. You have done everything you can to make things as easy as possible for Robbie. Maybe now is the time (as impossibly hard it is to do) for him to "make it on his own". It will in the end make him better prepared for the "world out there". Hang in there. Know that it is the best thing for him and here is another hug for you.... :-)

Thank you for sharing this with us... It is very difficult to watch our children struggle especially when it comes to school. My daughter had her struggles all through school. She is now 21 and in her senior year of college and still struggles. I had to learn with her to let her take full responsibility of her class work and homework. It as difficult to do but, I came to the realization like you said we will not always be there. I work full time outside of the home and I think that played a big part in letting her start to take full responsibility. I would come home and ask if homework is done. I always told the teachers to let me know if it was not getting done and then I would get on her about it and make her show it to me. I am going through some struggles with my youngest who is in middle school and does not always remember to bring her homework and hand it in and she is learning that she will not succeed if she doesn’t do the work. I always say being a parent is the toughest job I have had.

Thank you so much for sharing this. You most definitely are not alone! I am going through some really hard times with two of my boys in school. It breaks my heart every day to watch them struggle and the consequences of their choices but like you said we have to let go at some point. I know it’s easier said than done. My thoughts are with you and your son!

I went through this with my oldest son. I relate to so much of what you said, but I agree that its time to step back and let him deal with the responsibility and potential consequences. Soccer was a big motivator for my son too, and I believe it kept him slightly more focused because he couldn't risk losing it- but it was a constant struggle. I'm here to tell you that being there and supporting him but NOT micro managing, is the key. It's also very very difficult. It's a control issue which is always a "thing" with parenting in general. FYI my son is now a grown adult who has become VERY successful (like incredibly so) and I could not possibly be more proud of him. My mama heart swells with pride over this kid and there were days when I wondered how he'd ever get by in life. I see now in retrospect, that school just wasn't his thing. For many reasons, including possible attention deficit issues as well. (not diagnosed) But man, has he become a stellar and very focused adult. Just wanted to commiserate and let you know there is a lot of hope here and the hardest part is sitting back and letting HIM figure it all out.

It’s hard to see our children struggle and not feel like we as parents are failing even if we have done everything we can. You’re not alone! ❤️

Jessi I commend you, you are doing the right thing by letting go and making him accountable. Best lesson ever! It will serve him well now and later in life as an adult. Yes it’s hard, but necessary. You guys will get through this....As I’ve said my oldest had and has ADD and it was a struggle but we got through it. 😘

Girl! We are in the same boat!!!! My son is in his freshman year of high school and is also struggling in the same way.... my son has ADHD as well. You are not alone in the way you are feeling.

That sounds like such a tough situation. I think you are doing the right thing by letting him figure it out himself. It will teach him to be more responsible. You are doing your best. Good luck!

I struggled in school at times too because I got bored and frustrated too easy. For the most part I was left on my own until my mom stepped in and told me to ask for help from my teachers (mostly math, the rest I was okay in) which was hard for me since I felt it meant I was dumb, but I did it. You're doing well in leaving it up to him but also stay firm in him staying on track. If anything remind him how he can't slack off otherwise he'll be kicked out of soccer...? It took me a while but I'm finally doing well in college since I'm doing online classes and able to focus instead of sitting down in a classroom.

My nephew is 9. He has the same issues and he gets so stressed and hates school because he feels so overwhelmed. My parents raise him because we lost my sister 6 years ago so there’s an added aspect to all that but it kills me to watch this smart and sweet boy struggle so much

I can totally relate to what you are going through with your son. I went through the same thing and it was such a hard time! He is now 19 and barely graduated but we got him through. We tried to back off but finally had to step in again or he would not have graduated. It was one of the most frustrating times of my life. I feel your pain! In talking with other parents I think this happens a lot especially with boys. Not sure why.

I really think special education class would be amazing for him. I myself had adhd I learned different at a slower pace worked best for myself. I didnt get into the classes until I was 12 which helped so much. I graduated college as a zoologist worked at the Cleveland zoo for 3 years currently a stay at home mom the past 6 months to a baby boy. I was in the special ed classes for 2 classes science and math the rest was mainstreamed out

We are just not all set up for going to school. You are doing the best you can. I have a hard time with my fourth grader. But he is now not allowed to play games if he doesn’t do his reading and homework he can’t play. Not doing homework isn’t an option to me. Your not alone. Raising kids is hard.

I deal with the same thing, and while I have wanted to just throw in the towel and let him just deal with it, not only does he have an obligation towards school to finish his work, he has an obligation in my household to at least pass all his classes. He doesn't have a job, everything is provided to him, his job IS school. And there are consequences of not passing classes, not only in school but in the household. Example: "I've noticed you haven't turned in X assignment. I need you to do that. If you need help, I am here." And that's it. Once I have said it out loud, I am requesting he do it and there are consequences in my home for not doing what you are told to do, end of story. I don't nag, I just inform him of what is required of him in the home and the consequences of not doing what you're told. There is no fighting or nagging, just a request and the consequences of not complying with my request. Did that make sense? Lol