Let's Talk about Failure 

Anyone who has never failed has never tried anything of merit.

I really really don't want this video to seem like I'm here to make you feel bad about not coming to my event. That's not how this works. The event didn't work for a bunch of reasons and none of them are that you couldn't get off work or live to far away or don't have the cash to spare. Those are all great reasons to not come to NerdCon: Stories, and they're also things we took into account. I really hope I was able to make this video without it seeming like I'm blaming people for it. That's my prime worry with this video. My secondary worry is that you will see me as a failure WHICH IS JUST HILARIOUS! Because that is very obviously a foolish worry, but it's there anyway!!

People are always complaining about how social media allows us to put a fake version of ourselves out for every one to see but then never has the humility or transparency to expose their own flaws. Thanks for having the courage to be honest.

I don't fully trust or empathize with anyone who hasn't had a massive failure; there's a certain maturity and humility that you gain when you fail miserably at something.

Hey, Hank! It's Mike Martin, that guy you used to make a RU-vid channel with! :] I just wanted to pop in and say how much I appreciate this. I've been feeling pretty down the last months -- not all the time, but intermittently -- because of a particular failure. Specifically, my second novel, MR. FAHRENHEIT, despite some great reviews, has been quite a significant commercial disappointment. I won't go into details, except to say that your NerdCon sales predictions were off by 66%, and oh how I wish I had been off by only 66%.... ANYway, the sales disappointment has led to other career setbacks, and also led me to get pretty self-loathe-y at times. In all honesty, I've often compared myself negatively to my very successful friends, and wondered why I couldn't be "perfect" in business, like they are. Which is why this video is such a gift: It tells me that I'm not alone, not singularly flawed -- that even one of my most brilliant friends can make mistakes. Like you, I am learning a lot right now from my "failure." Thank you for helping me learn perhaps the most valuable lesson of all. Keep remembering to be awesome, my friend.

'tis better to have nerdconned and lost than never to have nerdconned at all

I have depression/anxiety, so I struggle with hardcore procrastination over fear of failure. I think it's important to remember that failure is inevitable, so we can be more open and less fearful of it. Thanks for sharing with us! Also, the thumbnail for this channel is adorable and I love it.

Sees title: I don't like being the center of attention.

Failure is a HUGE part of Success. Thanks for being transparent.

how my parents see me: a failure they can be proud of

I'm not proud that I failed grade 12, but I'm also not ashamed. I had a full semester of academic classes, despite knowing that I can't handle that. As I'm currently redoing grade 12, I'm glad I have the opportunity to do so. I'm not happy that I have to do so in a new school, with almost none of my friends, but I know that through my failure, I have the opportunity to make it right. To fix it. To graduate. I may never be proud that I failed grade 12. But I know I can be proud of myself for graduating. It may not be among friends that I love so very much, and have known for so long, but it's still a big achievement, and I'll be damned if I'm not proud of that.

I think most people can agree that the best successes come only after lots of failure. Thanks for being so open and honest about it. It's awesome how you can always put a positive spin on a subject that is "taboo" to talk about. Unfortunately I can't go to Nerdcon Stories, but I WILL be at Nerdcon Nerdfighteria in February! Hope to see you there :)

I've really appreciated it when anyone, especially people I look up to, have told me they had no idea what they were doing or told me about their failures. It has made me feel not only that I'm not alone, but that I'm in pretty good company too. This has greatly shaped the things I do and am willing to share. I'm pretty lucky right now to work at a place I love where I get to contribute to teaching and empowering other young people to make a difference for themselves. Because of these two things, I feel good about sharing not only my successes, but my failures, and the fact that I still don't know what I'm doing most of the time. The surprise on their face and the realization that people don't have it all together, can still make it, and choose where they want to be, just like I did, makes it totally worth it for me.

WAIT! WAIT!! Did he say "John Green's yoga adventure"?

YEESS! I kinda feel like modern culture has moved a bit too much into this idea that "you have to have big dreams and devote yourself to making them come true." I mean, having a big dream is fine and dandy, but I, at least, feel like it promotes something of disdain for a "normal life" (or, at least, that's how America's Got Talent makes it out). Like, normality is where failures go. But in actuality there's no such thing as a normal life. And of course, as you said, even failure isn't entirely a bad thing.

I am so happy you have done a video on this.

I was one of those kids in high school who was a smart kid who didn't have to try. Everything just came naturally, and everyone told me I could do anything. But then I came to college, and I failed (which to me means getting Bs and not having a 4.0). I was devastated and hated myself for a lot of freshman year because I felt awful and like I had disappointed everyone I knew. But in the end everything is fine. My role models have helped me normalize failure recently, and I am so thank for that. They're still proud of me for working hard even though I'm not "as successful" as I used to be. I think that's what Hank needs to hear: the people he cares about proclaiming their pride in him and the things he creates. So, Hank: I AM IMMENSELY PROUD OF YOU AND THIS AMAZING COMMUNITY YOU HAVE HELPED BUILD. YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION. Have a great day.

Hank, in my opinion this is one of the best videos you have ever posted. The honesty! Gah, when you said "nobody's lives are like that" it was just the best. Truth. Reminds me that it's okay to not appear as though I'm some awesome ninja who has it all together. DFTBA.

Sorry hank if it's any consolation, my life is great, babes, bucks, I've got it all!

Fear of failure is a prevalent in most humans, I know I have similar worries.

So wait, a ticket is $100, you sold 1000, that's $100.000 and needed to sell 3000, so you are at -$200.000? And you can just shrug it off? You have come a long way from two dudes vlogging to eachother :) Couldn't have happened to a better person! (Well, it thechnically could have, but, like, you know what I mean :D) I'm just glad that people like you are not afraid to spend their money on making great stuff for other people.

This makes me so sad. I loved the idea of Nerdcon: Stories and always aspired that one day I would try and go, but time/energy is just too precious of a resource for me right now. I am sad that the con will not survive for me to do so in the future. Thanks Hank for sharing this story in such a positive way.

I think it's very brave of you to be so honest with the community and share all of this with us. The tumblr post was probably a good idea, too, since it gave more people the chance to share some of their own thoughts in another environment than the RU-vid comments. I'm very sorry that this is happening to you, but I hope the people at Nerdcon: Stories will not be negatively affected by these news and will still have a great time there. I wish I could go...

Engineers without borders canada publishes something each year called a failure report. This is all the projects they did that did not work out. They started doing this so that everyone could learn instead of making the same mistakes over and over again.

Talking about failure is the polar opposite of what western culture and some western values promotes. Look at FB and the amount of time we spend carefully scripting our false lives that we project to the world. Advertisements project unhappiness on us for not having perfectly white or straight teeth, not having a smooth face, not having perfectly shiny and bouncy hair and not having that brand new iPhone or Suzuki. Then tell us that we will be happy and closer to perfection with future ownership of a product or service. Failure is proof that we are not perfect in a world where perfection is everything(perfect job, wife, life, etc). Naturally we wouldn't want to talk about it.

This is coming from someone who lived and studied in Minneapolis and thinks it's probably the greatest city on Earth; I'm not sure it's a great place to host a conference, especially tailoring to the Vlogbrother's demographic of relativity young people. Minneapolis is one of the most geographically isolated cities in North America. The closest major metropolitan hub is Chicago (8 hours southeast) and the next nearest cities are Milwaukee, Kansas City, and Winnepeg. Not to discount any of those cities, but the point I'm trying to make is that for the vast majority of people who would want to go, driving/taking the train/taking the bus is just not an option, and that only leaves flying. Flying is insanely expensive, especially if you don't do it very often, don't know how to find deals (which Minneapolis isn't exactly a hotbed of airline deals), don't have flexibility in travel dates (which you wouldn't if you are going to a conference), and are working on a budget of a student or entry-level employee. I'm sure that you are a much smarter businessman than I am, and that there were a ton of factors that you weighed and everything, but it's just my hypothesis that geography might have something to do with the low turnout. Even me, who lives in Chicago and has a place to stay in Minneapolis, has friends to visit with there, loves the city, and would LOVE to go to Nerdcon Stories can't go because I can't get the time off work/pay for the transportation to get there :(

Thank you for making a video about failure that is honest, humble, positive, and in process. When we do talk about failure, often it is when the sting has already left enough that we can talk about it. And this often takes a while. Failure is often talked about past-tense, but that sometimes gives less insight into the sticky, stinging feeling of failure at the time. Watching you stand in that moment and be resilient is super important to me. Thanks for doing it. I am one of many who live quite far away from NerdCon Stories but would love to attend if the plane ticket wasn't so outrageous. I hope the people who do make it this year enjoy it and understand what a special opportunity they have.

"Make it a failure you can be proud of." Such a profound and moving thought!

To Hank, John, and all the friends and co-workers that you've brought along for the ride. . . You are great innovators of the future, and you're serving it up right now. DFTBA

I copied and pasted the whole constitution into a text box on the survey

One of my favourite Vlogbrothers videos is the one Hank did about stories. I so completely loved how you talked about stories and what they mean that I dearly dearly wish I could come to NerdCon:Stories. It will be fantastic, I am sure.

THANK YOU! Guh. I feel like I fail with every attempt I make to put myself out there, and it's really refreshing to hear someone far more successful than I am talk about their own experiences with failures, ESPECIALLY that are happening now AFTER their previously-achieved successes. I really appreciate you talking about this stuff.

I'm so glad someone is talking about failure, especially someone, like you Hank, who is widely considered successful. You have to fail before you can succeed.

Hank, I am someone who is FROM Minneapolis, a fan of yours and Johns, and really wants to go to go to NerdCon at the Convention Center. However, I along with many of your fans fall into a young group (15-25) and we don't really have much disposable income. Consider that your convention is one of the most expensive ones out there that I'm aware of, and also include accommodation and such, and there's your reason why people aren't going to NerdCon. They cannot afford it, even if they want to go.

You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. I just started college, and three weeks in I realized I hated what I was majoring in. I know it is normal to change your mind and not know what you want to do, but I had thought I was a failure because I wasn't going to finish what I had started. I am coming to realize that what I did was totally normal and not a failure, and that everything happens for a reason. What's really been working for me, though, is acknowledging my failures. I am learning to stop looking at it as a label and more as a hurdle I must get over. Dealing with failure and pride is something I know I have to get better at, and this video gave me motivation I needed. I hope all is well with you, have fun when your baby arrives!

Thank you so much!! Failure is an absolutely necessary step in the life of any business, but it feels SO disheartening. This video blessed me.

I've been failing on acquiring a chemical engineering job. I've failed on getting experience due to family situations, but I keep pushing forward and continue to try and get interviews or at least talk to someone from the company. I feel ya. As long as you learn one thing from each failure, it's a success.

Is it possible Nerdcon can take place again next year but in a more densely populated area of the United States like the east or west coast? I think there are a lot of nerdfighters like me who would like to go but just can't afford to fly halfway across the country

I just discovered you guys this year. One of the things I like about you is that you TRY stuff. I find it very inspiring. It makes me want to try to do more stuff. So thanks for being inspiring.

I love that you guys make it cool to just think about stuff... It's really easy to forget to stop and question the world, but the vlogbrothers channel never fails to remind me how to be an active citizen of the world. Thank you Hank and John!

I read somewhere that failure is a necessary step to success. Having started on several projects, not having finished some or some not working taught me a huge amount about a range of subjects that would normally not be associated with the projects I was working on. Look at it this way, failing in some way in project such as what you are doing is a "crash course" (pun intended!) in logistics, marketing, finance etc..... you know the list better than any one. As long as you believe in what you are doing and give it everything you will succeed, it may not be at the 1st attempt but you WILL succeed. Best wishes.

Hank has got some great puff game going on

Thanks for being honest and open and vulnerable. Being able to choose what we share, it's understandable people shy away from sharing their failures, and we end up with a showcase of how awesome people's lives are. But that is also cruel in many different ways, specially when we DO fail and all we see around us is people sharing success, making us feel even worse about failing in the first place. We find a bump on the road, feel blue one day or simply have things not go our way and we see stories of people living amazing lives on social media, it makes us feel even worse for failing We all fail. I fail a lot, but it's hard talking about it when around us all we see is people succeeding

Thank you for making this video, Hank, and more so for being willing to put yourself out there like this. Failure or "perceived failure" is such a difficult thing to not only talk about, but also to feel. And I am so grateful just as a human being to know that people that I am inspired by and that I view so highly experience it and are willing to talk about it. The one thought that I do want to put out there, though, is sort of our definition of failure. Because, while I definitely know that not meeting an expected goal leads to the designation of "failure," I also think it's an opportunity for learning and reframing. Because, frankly, as someone not in your exact position, I think it's immensely incredible that you've put NerdCon (and everything else you do) together and more so that you've gotten 1000 people who are able to attend and a multitude more who are interested. I guess failure is more so what you make of it and how you interpret it...even if it doesn't always feel like it.

Hank, we identify with failure, and we're here to support you. Nerdfighteria will always be there for those who need it. This community means so much to so many of us!! Our community is strongest when we work together, and as a way to celebrate 10 years of the community we're launching a new storytelling project on our channel, The Road To Nerdfighteria. We'd love to have as much community participation as possible! This project is a Thank You gift to you, John, and the community. Thank you for giving us all a a place to be our weird and beautiful selves! -DFTBA!

I wanted to go to NerdCon:Stories. The cost of admission is super fair, and I was thrilled about the prospect of going somewhere I'd never been before alone in pursuit of my interests. But the cost of plane tickets and hotels made it prohibitively expensive. For what it's worth, though, I think the weirdness of it is what makes it so great. I've never seriously considered going to any other con, but I really wanted to go to this one. I would have gone if it were in Oregon, or maybe even anywhere on the west coast, but then it would have been prohibitively expensive for all the people in or near Minneapolis! What can you do? I'm sorry it didn't work out. Thank you for talking about it.

Thanks for being vulnerable enough to share with us, I needed to see this right now!

this video literally just changed my mood completely. I'm writing part of my story as a vlog and was really struggling to feel motivated to do it, and then you reminded me why we tell stories. I needed a reminder at that moment of why I was writing my story and found it here!

1. We should talk a lot more about failure, because failures and mistakes are incredibly important. They teach us a lot, and especially a lot about ourselves. I personally experienced its actually the times of failure where we get to know ourselves the most. 2. OH MY GOODNESS YOUR HAIR! It's spectecular in this video! i want to touch it!

To be honest hank I'd be quite suprised if it's not successful now you've made a video about it

The fact that you can speak about your failures makes you so much easier to look up to, nothing always goes right, we all fail and knowing that I fail and the people I look up too fail makes failure so much easier to talk about and learn from

I want to thank you so much for talking about this. I have anxiety and a lot of that is based around a fear of failure. and I think hearing you talking about failure, it makes me feel better about the possibility of failing. I even have been feeling little bits of sympathy anxiety, but in a small manageable way that also helps me deal with it. I'm not entirely sure if that all makes sense to people who are not me. but thanks hank. you're an amazing person.

Adam Savage (Myth Busters) has an amazing speech on Failure during his talk at DefCon. highly suggest yall check it out.

Love hearing your thoughts!

Man, nerdcon stories sounds like the realization of all my dreams, and I KNOW I'm not the only one. It might be off to a rough start but this sounds way way too awesome to just generally not work. Good luck for next year, maybe I'll see you there!!

Love this! Dealing with my own failure to be considerate of another person. It's hard to admit that I'm wrong and learn from the experience. Helps when I see you do it.

Even a failure is a win if you learn from it...at least that's what I tell myself when I face failure. DFTBA

I really would go to Nerd Con if I could.

As someone who attended NerdCon last year and who will be returning this year, I just want to say that even if it's a financial failure, it is not a total failure. I have so many happy memories from NerdCon last year and I'm sure I will make more this year. It really is a fantastic event in my opinion. As someone who wants to be a writer, it is very helpful, but as a regular person, it is also a lot of fun! And it's great for me because it's in my hometown so I am actually able to go even though I'm a poor college student. I guess I just want to say thank you for creating such a fantastic event.

Thank you, Hank, for being willing to share so openly your experience. I tell my kids all the time that they shouldn't be afraid to fail because sometimes we learn more from our failures.

This just came up in my feed and I was thinking "well of course attendance is down during a pandemic... Oh wait it was posted four years ago".

would virtual attendance be something that could be done? maybe a 5-10 dollar price to get access to live streams of the panel? because I'd love to be able to experience nerd con, but I don't have the kind of money that I can just take that time off, pay for a hotel, food, gas, and incidentals, and still have car insurance/cellphone service/ pay my car payment

This was so good! I needed to hear this, and I am sure there are many others who feel the same. Thank you for sharing, as always.

"Anybody can succeed, it takes courage to fail". This video was needed, thanks Hank!

have you read my mind? it's my 23rd birthday today and I've been feeling like a failure at adulting stuff. more on topic, i'm sorry about Nerdcon. I could probably never go due to distance, but it seems like fun for those who get to.

I wish I could go, because it sounds absolutely amazing!! But sadly I can't since I live in the Netherlands and I have to go to school.

Alas! I cannot make it to NC:S. Thank you Hank for putting it on (and for that amazing hair mussing as you worked through it in the video!). Stories are what make us human, and celebrating them is amazing. DFTBA.

1. Thank you for talking about this, even when it was hard. 2. I moved to Minneapolis last year JUST before the conference and was SUPER BUMMED I couldn't afford to go. 3. This year's con is the ONE weekend I'm out of town this year, and I'm SUPER BUMMED I can't go. 4. I totally understand that, you being YOUR greatest priority (as you should be), this will likely not happen again. I'm super sad about that since I can (likely) never make it to Vidcon for both financial and work-time-off related reasons. HOWEVER, you have managed, again, to make me proud to be part of this community. A community where we can try things and think things and fail, and then talk about it and still move forward and not fall completely apart in the process. Thanks for your honesty, openness, and for being a badass example of leadership and humanness and awesomeness. Though I don't actually know you... I'm glad to know you.

Random but I like Hank's jacket. Anyone knows where one could buy it?

I just don't know if I can afford travel and tickets to vidcon and nerdcon. But it sounds amazing. I hope we can go next year. Maybe I can even try for this year. I love table top gaming lol.

Thank you for this. I'm working through a thing right now that might indeed end up as a failure. But this video helped me to realize that even if it doesn't "succeed," that doesn't take away this thing's intrinsic value. Thank you for being brave enough to talk about failure. It's something we all need to do more of.

I've just gotten around to watching this. But I think it was the right time for me to watch it. Thank you for sharing your failure and helping me to be slightly more okay with mine.

Someone needs to make a go fund me page and if all of his Subs give at least one dollar, he should have more than enough! Let's each give five bucks! (Also keep in mind he has a child on the way, we don't need him him going bankrupt with a baby on the way!)

Hank could you go through some of the census results on your own channel? I'd like to see a broader view of Nerdfighteria and you're opinion on our opinions if that makes sense. Thanks dude :D

Sounds like an amazing event, I wish I was closer to Minneapolis! Thanks for your videos Hank, they are always so thoughtful!

I love this because yes, people rarely talk about failure but when they do it's always very much in the past. Like, a successful person will talk about how before they reached "this point" in their career they had failed in different pursuits. Whilst I am very sorry that this has happened to you, Hank (I've always loved the idea of NerdCon Stories but sadly I live in the UK), it's kind of refreshing to hear that even once you're successful, things can go wrong but you still keep trying new things and don't get pigeon-holed into what you know works.

Did Hank do a John puff a little bit at 2:22?

Is money the sole measure of success?

Hank thank you so much for raising this point. Very often we hide our failures and i know i even am in denial about them at times, but i do think it is very important for us to discuss them so that they stop being a source of shame and become more like lessons we learn from

Thank you so much for making this. I know it couldn't have been easy to do. As a college senior, I recently had a boss give me the advice that "I would only hear about people's successes and not their failures" so I shouldn't feel bad when I feel like I'm failing a lot. I feel like we as people struggle to admit this failure, and it creates a really weird environment where we all want to seem okay when we're struggling, and I think this video is one step to try to de-stigmatize the idea that we're not always succeeding. And I just can't thank you enough for making this video, though I'm sorry that things aren't working out as well as you hoped.

"Let's talk about failure, guys. We happen to host this hugely successful event, and though we stand to lose some money on it we can afford it. And, most importantly, we're doing what we're passionate about, and losing money is just a price on knowledge which is invaluable". Huh. I guess our definitions of "failure" are somewhat different.

NerdCon stories sounds like a thing I would love to attend ... but I live in Germany. So ... that's not going to happen.

This video came at the best time for me. Just yesterday I interviewed for a fellowship I was really hoping to get. I didn't and I've spent the last day feeling like a failure. Knowing even very successful people fail, and considering the positive side is helpful.

Hank, I M so full of respect for you for admitting failures and expressing them openly. I think so many people think they'll never be a success because they think successful people never fail so it's sooo good to hear stories of failure. Also I think nerd con stories is going to be a fun time even if it makes you lose a lot of money.

Unless you acknowledge your failures, you will always be a failure.

Hank you wore a different outfit today!

I'm eternally grateful for all the people in my life and in my lifetime (i.e., celebrities like you, Hank) who fail and keep going. Not only does their/your continuing ambition lead to the creation of some great things that make my life significantly better, it also inspires me not to give up when I fail, and I think this is a really great pay-it-forward chain that we can start.

As always Hank, love your videos. Thank you (and John) so much for all your hard work. Nerdfigteria really appreciates you.

Where do I get a GILBHART PIN?!?!?

Recommended for you: "Let's Talk about Failure". Are you trying to tell me something, youtube?

This was a very helpful thing to hear. As someone who is somewhat failing at their freelance career, it was good to hear someone who I greatly admire say that he sometimes fails too. Thank you for this.

Hankkkkkk, oh gosh you have no idea how much this video means to me :""""" I'm currently managing a conference as well and not everything is going as best as it could (you could see that some aspects are definitely heading sideways) and I've been feeling really, really horribly down and have left everybody else down. But watching this video makes me realize that though perhaps it won't be my most successful project, I would at least appreciate this as "a failure that I could be proud of". Thank you sooo much for reigniting my optimism. I hope that the experience you learned for NerdCon Stories can help you create a more cohesive and rewarding event - both financially and psychologically.

I'm still thinking about double pregnant

I want to go but I live in California

Thank you for doing a video on this. It is interesting to see more about the business stuff you guys do and to hear a very successful person talk about failure.

thank you for honestly sharing the truth of the situation. it would be easy to spin it as a success publicly, but your openness about the reality of it allows people to see that your passions are about more than just the money.

The "trending" caption says this is John in the video... Who wrote that and deserves a slap?

Not first.

I really needed this today. Thanks Hank

I love Nerdcon: Stories and I hope that it can continue on for years to come, even if it is in a bit of a different form. Thank you for always creating such unique opportunities and events that allow people to participate together in things that they love.