Letter from a former United Pentecostal child 

I am a former UPC child. To this day I still live with the trauma on a daily basis and I left in 1996. I can relate to this letter on so many levels. Even when she talks about how mean the girls are. I had so many lie about me cause they were jealous cause I was dating the pastors son. I could write a book about so many horrible things I went through. I even had a pastors wife from a neighboring church stick her finger in my face and call me a slut because the girls in her church lied about me. Her husband was later arrested and convicted of raping those girls in their church. I am so glad I got out. I really appreciate your channel and what you are doing.

Just found this oh my do I relate to this women’s story. I was adopted as a baby and raised at the UPC Church. I was so unprepared for the real world. Just knew God was waiting to strike me down if I did the slightest thing wrong. My choices after leaving high school were very limited because what I wanted to do you had to wear the god forbidden pants. I’m so grateful to God He got me out of this cult and truly I found the real Loving Jesus. I pray for all those individuals that are in this organization that have a pure heart before God but are scared to death as I was to do anything. I pray God shows them away of a Escape and I know He will totally heal them as He did within me.

Thank you for having this channel. There are so many people who have suffered for many years. It takes allot of courage to risk hell for eternity. I did it myself in 1974, a pastors son. I have felt so alone all these years. I never gave up my relationship with God, in fact I left with a mission to spend the rest of my life going to God. I'm 73 now but spiritually I feel like a new man as I grow in Love and Wisdom. I feel so happy to know I'm not alone.

As someone who grew up UPC, I can relate to this so so so much. I'm extremely glad I left while my kids were really little.

I agree with what she says. Im a UPC pastor son with 3 siblings, none of us attend a UPC church now. I have tried differ churches and find them all to seem more interested in money and control than the love of God. I still have trouble with things I was taught in the UPC that I no longer believe but still haunted by them in some way. We are shunned by family and life long "friends" for leaving. Ill never go back to the judgement and hate

I always thought God hated me. I left the church for 30 years. Then I met an amazing (Baptist) friend who taught me patiently about the grace of God. I know one night when I felt like God had turned his back on me. I sat in a hotel room with alcohol and pills to take my life. I contacted my friend. She said to me you are trying to outrun God again. God does not hate you because you decide he does. Nope it does not work like that God loves you right where you are.

Thank you for the videos y’all make. I have been out of the organization for almost 2 years now. Sometimes when my parents make comments calling me a reprobate, a backslider etc.. they plant doubt in my mind. But I prayed the other day specifically for God to show me if I was wrong for leaving and he sent me a sign the next day that I was in the right place. ❤️

I use to be UPC ...I have to ask God every morning to help me not to be bitter.... when I start to miss it I go visit and im suddenly reminded of why I left....prayer protects me now...not the church... never felt love never seen the fruit

Thank you so much for posting this! 🙂 There are many I know that need it! I am in therapy now trying to heal. I had to apologize to all of my boys and granddaughters....many others for keeping them in there as long as I did. I would have left many, many years ago but felt bound by my husband (he grew up in it). Well, after he was terribly abused he began to see it for what it was and I told him I was done regardless of what he decided. He's seeing more everyday and refuses to go back to any UPC!

I remember when Procter & Gamble put the barcodes on the products That was the beginning of the mark of the beast. this is the first time I have been able to express what the UPC did to me. I don't know any UPC "backsliders" like myself and it is so comforting to hear you speak. It is so comforting to go through this comment section and know that there are other ex UPC out there that know what I feel. Today is the first day in a long time that I felt like I'm not actually going to hell but at the same time that little voice is telling me I'm just comfortable and sin and I'm not going to make it to Heaven until I repent in a UPC and receive the Holy Ghost and speak in tongues again. And that I'm a terrible mother for not raising my children in the church. I've been working on deprogramming myself. Maybe one day. Maybe.

So happy to have found this. There's so much comfort in knowing those of us raised in this organization that have since left aren't alone in all we've experienced. The scars left behind are deep and lasting. I witnessed and experienced spiritual, mental and sexual abuse during my childhood years in the UPC... and felt completely alone and shut away from the world during that time. Fortunately for me, the state stepped in and removed me from the situation, but that led to everyone I knew in the church turning their back on me. Adults who knew about the abuse telling my former friends, their children, to shut me out. I spoke out, and was deemed a bad seed. They told them the devil had me and that I would inevitably turn to drugs and all the evil ways of the world. I can confidently say being on the other side of it now, I was left with far more bad than good from that organization. They took more from me than they could ever give me back.

It’s almost therapeutic to hear others say what you’ve experienced. You can not talk freely with people that are in this organization, they’re so self righteous but you know they see it too but they can’t make a break from it. ❤️❤️❤️ thanks Lori and Friend for sharing, this was beautiful.

Thank you so much @Life After Legalism for sharing this. It's unbelievable what people put not only themselves through but also their children, all in the name of religion. So sad. Glad that young woman found true peace in the real Lord Jesus Christ.

What an important video. Thank you for continuing to post. Blessings!

I seriously can relate to the fear of being left behind and alone.

Omg! I had to repent to my children. In a church for 40 years, and we we’re the only ppl on earth that God will take to heaven😞 this is my whole story about church no relationship all religion

Just found out another person I knew growing up is in a rehab facility here in our state. The suicides and drug abuse is what I see that really bothers me. Families rejecting their "back sliding" members. Had a pastor tell me himself that only in a church has he seen people go after their own. I hope someone finds encouragement from watching your videos. There is true unconditional love from God. People in our lives will come and go. Dont feel trapped by their rejection.

Just know you are preventing Spiritual Suicide ❤Thank You Lori

Great video ! Truthful video !

I was raised in UPC churches...I was shy and had no Father in church with me. People had said some mean things to me. Other kids were brutal sometimes. I got to thinking most of them are hypocrites. In my mind I would file it away under reasons why I shouldn't even bother.. This preacher did this, the piano player did that.. I left church just wanting to finally fit in with the rest of the world... Thankfully I never could. It took some 20 years of self destruction to see it. The One God, Apostollic, Pentecostal churches indeed aren't perfect. But they hold the truth. I repented, and found myself once again standing in a UPC church with my hands held high, eyes full of tears, asking God for a second chance.... Only this time as a grown man with children. God filled me with the Holy Ghost speaking in tongues as the Spirit gives the utterance.. God delivered me from all my addictions instantly.. I will gladly raise my children with standards that make a separation from this morally bankrupt world.. Winston Churchill said, "What is adequacy? (acceptable) Adequacy is no standard at all." In all reality, the UPC has given up to much ground. I do not want to be accepted by this world, I don't want to fit in... So yes, I just might have to go to church with a few no good hypocrites.. But it's better than going to hell with all of them.... Ther is a spirit of rebellion that is taking over the world, and entered into the Church. Nobody feels they have to be held accountable to standards. It's a do what makes you happy generation. Guess what, nobody ever had to do anything. It's called free will. But to start a backsliders channel on UTUBE, and read letters that pat each other on the backsliding, isn't going to bless your life, or bring glory to God. It's kind of sad, and mostly pathetic.

I was here at your channel earlier and was able to watch only part of your testimony. Just watch the rest and am thankful I did. Amazing testimony! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I sincerely think it will help others on their journey to finding peace.

Watched your video posted earlier today. My heart is with you and you are not alone at all.

Wow, I can relate to so many things in that letter, brought me to tears a few times. I have young children and want to make sure they don't grow up with the same anxiety and fear that I had/and still deal with.

Heartfelt Letter❤

I was raised in the UPCI and my experiences are much much worse than the woman in the letter

I remember visiting your type of church and at entering the sanctuary of worship I felt such a bind there, there was no freedom that comes with serving our Lord.I this stayed away and sought out other church not of your kid but Pentecostal and let me tell you, they are very hard to find there in the south. But the more I searched our a church to attend and belong to the more I recognized UPC to be occultic! this is an occult of a church folks. Pray to see and God will let you see, I did.

This is not just a UPC thing , it's many legalistic , fear driven type churches. This is how immature Pentecostalism works..like running a daycare , fences , diaper changes and all. The slanted teaching is a result of ignorance for the most part , not evil intent. The inadequate teachings produce much confusion and error.

I just found your channel. I was born and raised in the UPC Church in Mobile Alabama. My pastor was and still is the Alabama superintendent of the UPC. My entire family including every cousin was and still is UPC. I got out when I was 16. I'm 47. I went back to the UPC a couple years after my brother died unexpectedly but that's the only time I've been back. I had no friends. I had no friends because I wasn't allowed to have friends outside of the UPC because God forbid I want to spend the night and take a glimpse of their television. But a little secret about the UPC, if your mom is a single mom she and her children are looked down upon, not treated as equal. We never missed a service not once. Yet there was always still whispers about us being the family that didn't have a father. The poor kids. I would have given anything to feel equal. All of my childhood I felt unworthy to God because I secretly longed to know what it felt like to put on a pair of blue jeans or a little mascara or instead of teasing my bangs into a big ball and pretending I have a haircut I could know what a haircut felt like. Thriller was the biggest video and Back to the Future was the biggest movie and I remember going to school pretending like I knew what the other kids were talking about just to fit in. When I was in the fifth grade all of the other girls would chase me back to the Portables just to yank down my knee socks and sing pretty woman with the static electricity making the hair on my legs stand up while all of the kids laughed. Only to walk in the church doors to receive ridicule again, although it wasn't on that same horrible level I still knew it. I look at the UPC today and I think how lucky those girls are to be able to wear knee length skirts and open-toed shoes and shave their legs. Some girls are even in dance classes and get to wear leggings under their skirts?! Oh but the presence of the Holy Spirit when it moved that church, I've never been to a church other than UPC where I felt the presence of the Holy Ghost so strong. So it keeps pulling me back but I have short hair and I will never conform. I was listening to the Great late brother Tenney, set under that man many times when he came to Alabama and your video was on autoplay. I'm so thankful I found your Channel, because I still live with the guilt and resentment of my childhood against the UPC but I'm so programmed that that I feel guilty for feeling guilty. I need reminding that God still loves me and that my spiritual walk with Him should not be judged by my attendance record or haircut.

Fear permeates their teachings- I have said this for years. If you aren't water baptized just right, you are lost. If you don't speak in tongues to prove you have the Holy Spirit, you are lost. If you don't believe in Oneness, you are lost. If you don't follow the holiness standards you might or might not be lost...but then rebellion is likened to witchcraft and we know witches are lost... so, yeah, lost again. If you are left behind in the rapture, there's a big chance you won't make it. If you don't obey the pastor, you are lost. If you leave their church, you are lost. Many have left the UPC after having a child as they couldn't bear the thought of them having to endure what they did as a child.

Thank you for sharing life after legalism. Please keep up the good work. This is all about actually loving loving God loving yourself, and loving your neighbor as yourself. Jesus never told the thief on the cross that only if he got down off the cross, and got baptized in Jesus name, would he be allowed in paradise with Jesus. Then, the apostle Paul who wrote two thirds of the bible said, "IF YOU CONFESS WITH YOUR MOUTH THE LORD JESUS, AND BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART THAT GOD HAS RAISED HIM FROM THE DEAD YOU SHALL BE SAVED. Ofcourse it is important to follow JESUS CHRIST into the water of baptism, but only After you trust Him for salvation because water can never die for your sins.

Im too familiar with this story. I'v been apart of this back in the 80's n 90's. My departure was a slow process that happened when our senior pastor handed the pastorship over to his son and over a period of 15 years transitioned the church completely out of the "UPC" style of church government. Thank God.my question is this. I still feel the anointing in much of their worship. (Thru some vids and occasional visits at funerals) How does/can God still move and operate in such an unGodly theology and culture and government. Yet still God still moves in their midst. It seems like a paradox. I dont understand it yet I know their ways are so wrong and still hear stories of their absurd offenses and judgementalism. I'd love to hear some thoughts on this.

When you leave a Church that the PASTOR is licensed in the UPC...( its only for pastors) YOU as a person attending that Church ..is not Upc...YOU go to a UPC ..where the Pastor is giving rules .IF FOR SOME REASON HE FAILS TO PAY HIS DUES..HE NO LONGER WILL BE IN THE CLUB...man made rules...Now remember the rules change from time to time ..depending on that pastor...Some say it's a sin for a women to cut het hair..at another church..the women can cut her split ends..but it has to be long..then in another church...You have to wear your hair UP...at a certain age...Then in another State. The rules will change again...it all depends on the man in charge...I know for a fact..it is all about power..My father was a Superintendent...All of the Churches have different rules....NOW for yrs no Tv..or they called it Facial Hair..you could NOT have a beard....NOW THE RULES HAVE CHANGED...They allow you to have tv's..AND you can have a beard...NOW THIS NEW LAW COMES FROM THE BIG GUY WHO IS IN CHARGE NOW OF UPC....If it was a sin.( that's what they called it sin) before??? It should be a sin now..RIGHT..It's whoever. is in charge....GODS LAWS DO NOT CHANGE...When you leave one these Cults..you shouldn't leave your love For God...God didn't make you miserable..YOU LET THIS GUY IN THE GROUP MAKE YOU MISERABLE....Go find you another church...read your Bible...Pray ask God to guide you...He will.....Now you need to know...IF you tell the Pastor your leaving..he will say NO I need you..then he may just give you a NEW job in the Church...or I heard of one Pastor actually got down on his knees and begged them not to leave...See they were TITHE PAYERS...Once you wake-up..you have to be carefull because you can be angry...but remember God did not do you wrong you let this man control you and abuse ypu spiritually...Jesus is still the same...You need a family Church....If you have a family and you leave and not go to Church..you will lose your family...I know I have seen it many times..

I have a question that is a genuine question . There is a apostolic church were I live predominately white church. When I look into the eyes of these girls who are a part of this church there is something not right but I can never figure out what I am seeing do you know what that is? It is hard for me to explain but I know something is off. Could it be evil that I am seeing? I have no idea I just know that there is something there and it is definitely not good.

I feel this in my SOUL. The fear from such a young age was unreal. Imagine being 10 years old and severely depressed because you were told every week that the world was literally going to end any day now and you were going to be left behind because there was no way on earth you were good enough for god to take. I woke up once while my parents were outside and had a panic attack because I thought the rapture had happened. And then your mom decides the length of your skirt and neckline were something to determine your worth. This cult took my childhood and still tries to creep into my life through the damage it has done.

What makes you think that wearing pants and makeup isn’t a cult culture .

Why tell people’s why you left? You gone let that be! No one wants to know why okay !!!

Thete should be more Videos about leaving Cults...UPC IS cult...most of the so called Pastors teach their man made Laws...Rules for the women...

Ian Pentecostal and therw is nothing wrong with it it's not bad wearing scirts or not cutting your hair the only thing that is different from Baptist and Pentecostal is that Pentecostal pepole believe. That you have to get the Holy ghost and Baptist don't😐

Every apostolic organization has it's negative issues, included the UPC. Despite the negatives I have read so far about the organization, I consider it a good organization. Of all those who made negative expressions about the UPC, is it that the organization has no good in it? I am not of the belief that the negatives outway the positives. Most who are saved in it, stays in it, which testifies to the reality that it is still a good organization. The bishops and pastors, some or even most, might have some kind of legalism regarding what they define as standards of holiness, and that I acknowledge, yet at the same time the bishop and pastors are not monsters. I believe the good of the organization far outways the bad.

Cuz you guys had a bad experience with the upci does not make the the chuch awful there is great churchs out there every Church has a Jezebel spirit.