I was reminded of an old saying. "You can't bowl 300 every time." I guess this means you don't have to claim you''ll never bowl 300 just because you never have.
I love your messages! One of my favorite ladies that I follow says "Let your dreams be bigger than your memories" and I love that. We need to look forward to new goals and accomplishments.
I swear this is like I'm having a 1 on 1 with you. Tbh I rarely say this but this channel needs more attention. She is giving you quality advice that someone would charge you a lot of $ for. All you have to do is listen and apply it to your life situation...
Actually, times are very hard now. I keep thinking ang living on those times where I was genuinely happy, and lost focus on the present. I’m basically stuck in nostalgia. I’m trying to accept things the way they are now and face the present and let the past become the past. Thank you so much for this video 🤍
I've gone through some of these titles and I'm dealing with many of the issues your talking about. This one here is definitely a big part of my life. I'm stuck with a strong bitter heart unfortunately. So I'm looking and trying solutions as best I can.
Liked this video before I even watched it cus you give great advice. I noticed a shift in my pessimism and told myself that I'm proud of what I've accomplished even if that's walking away from toxic relationships. I'm more positive about the way I think about myself. It's been a struggle cus I started doubting myself all over again today and then ended up journaling. Cus sometimes our brain jumbles things and yes we do self sabotage. Its soo hard but I keep trying to tell myself that I will get me better.
Hello, I’m Jeremy. I have been dealing with violent intrusive thoughts the past 2 months. Thank you for helping me. I love to hear all the new videos 🥺
@@juliakristinamah From the beginning. Particularly, "What you attempted didn't work. What can you learn from this. Not you're always this way." This is a paradigm shift. As they say, There's nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. Human beings have agency and the ability to change.
I’ve been trying to accept the past and move on. I am 64 years and all my life I have struggled emotionally with my childhood, I have post traumatic stress from physical experiences I suffered with stepmom (she still does not own her actions-which makes me look like a liar-and all my steps “8 grown people” hate me). My distant domineering father was worse. These childhood traumas still make me cry and become depressed. I have many acquaintances but, NO friends on account of trust issues. I live alone, I stay to myself and no one knows my pain. I am a retired HS Art teacher and I know better but, I allowed myself to become soooo depressed on account of several surgeries that left me disabled and always in pain-I don’t take pain meds, so I became a destructive person to myself. I am a warrior, former 🇺🇸 Air Force Sargent, High School Art teacher for 15 years, I helped many students and now I want to help myself. I am texting you from a drug & alcohol rehab center. I allowed myself to become an alcoholic as I was self medicating with tequila, brandy, and vodka. I looked at myself in the mirror and did not like what I became. I detoxed with the help of Veteran Healthcare In Fresno (great staff) and they’ve sent me to Berkeley-New Bridge Foundation for 30-90 days. I will be fine I’m sure because of my shift in mindset🥰🎼🎵🎶🏆. You’re a great inspiration to me🥰. I love you, thank you soooo much for being you and helping me. Forever grateful 😘‼️
Julia's teaching really does help doesn't it? I'm sorry to hear you suffer today from the memories of your childhood. I have similar and I am 52 so I 'get it'. Pushing past the past is hard work. I wonder if your being in the air force means you have a better grasp of building muscle power (mental or physical) than most of us, that may be a string to your bow. All the best with the rehab programme. Wishing you well.
Just so well put 🙌🏼 Thank you for addressing this and your great content. My fave one from this is ‘every shift counts regardless of how small it may be’ affirmation
Hi Julia ... just had you pop into my selections on utube this past week ... wanted to say how happy I am to have found you and your insights ... a two year path back from a narcissistic abusive relationship and I’m ready to take these new steps ... such growth and almost grateful for having gone through it all as I’m now that much stronger for it ... more to do !! Glad I found you ! Keep it up ☺️🙏
Amazing! The clarity you have & how you explain every topic is excellent. First time I have felt someone totally understands what I am struggling with. Have done so much healing work and Cognitive Dissonance is where I am stuck right now.... going back n forth. Really would like to join your The shift society ..... pls open some spaces soon. Urgently need it. I am so glad to have found you Julia. 💞
That has made so much sens! I need to listen again though lol, its like my brain understood it but needs to "shovel the path again and again to keep it clear"...Thank you Julia
This is great! So true. I beat myself up about mistakes in the past often but lately I've been trying to shift and analyze that thinking. It is very hard to change that thinking, but I'm going to keep trying to change the narrative, yay
Change is BEAUTIFUL!!! It is what LIFE is all about. The Journey/Adventure is what the physical would offers us ALL. Part if the Adventure/Journey is be able to "Pull the Positives OUT of the Negatives.
Thank you for addressing the thoughts drive actions equation. The current trendy mantra is "It's none of your business what other people think you you"; this may look good on a t - shirt, but it is not realistic. People are going to form opinions about us, no matter how we behave; we can try to be pleasant, polite, etc. and people, for their own reasons, may not like us; in an ideal world, humans can act with politeness and civility even to people they despise. But, this is not an ideal world. If someone dislikes us, there is a good chance they will not treat us well. Wouldn't it be better to say, " I can't do much to control what other people think of me." Of course, Dale Carnegie is probably rolling over in his grave at what I've written.
I've almost got rid of my attachment to the past - it is difficult, because you think, mistakenly, that that's where your true self should be, and moving forward and forgetting the past frightens and scares you with it's riskiness and uncertainty. Inner speech is important - we have to change our perceptions. As Wayne Dyer said: "if we change the way we look at things (percetion) , the things we look at change." Basically, this is the craft of 'manifestation.'
I should write down every word julia kristina is saying. She is all so wise. It is human nature to interpert present events, in past similar experiences context. Past feelings surface, to bias the mind. Its usually feelings bias, rather than cognitive bias. If you feel you lost, you think you lost, then you lost, without even trying. It is a brilliant observation that the mind likes black/white conclusion/deterministic cognition. If too much stays in the grey zone, cognition patterns/reasoning would be lost. One should not hold a biased narrative about himself. Never the less, one should recognise his own realistic limitations. Sometimes losing, is actually wining. Sometimes , doing nothing at all, is the best thing to do. Sometimes, not taking a decision, is the best decision to make. If you got nothing to lose, you got nothing to worry about. Its allright.
I deal with repeating the past frequently. It occurs when I try to have a relationship with women. It starts out well and I'll do fine. Then I'll get carried away and start overloading the potential female with feelings she isn't ready for and I end up ruining the relationship.
SUGGESTION I would love to hear about blended families dynamics and adult children manipulation. Thank you for sharing such precious videos ....I just found out your channel and I love it.
I always end up homelessI feel like camp and I get kicked off and have to move to another camp and build it and that just keeps going and going like that I can't break through it exercise I'm just disabled since 8 years oldI'm in the process now build me a house in the woods God told me to do it
Its not so much as the brain that keeps repeating in your sentence, the brain is an organ . There is the mind and then there is the ego( that creates its own reality).
You are so great and amazingly brilliant I love your videos I watch your great videos every day you are absolutely amazingly brilliant xxxxxxx my number one xxxxxxxxx 👄💋❤️😘😍
I'd love to have advice on something maybe a video idea. My husband cheated on me - we were married 36 years and I discovered last September he was having an affair. He didn't intend to leave me or our marriage - basically, he didn't expect to get caught. I've journaled a lot - wrote him a long letter and gave it to him.... I kept a copy and electronic copies of our correspondence-communications.... I've filed for separation and divorce which should be final September. Should I keep the journals/messages we've written each other or destroy..... I think destroying will help me move on... and I am working on myself and am feeling much better.... should I shred/delete this written correspondence and remove from my life to help me move on......
A recurring one is the poor communications I have had with certain people and the fear and dread about repeating those mistakes paralyzes me. The examples about not following through on promises really resonated for me
I just don't let crap go that much it is not fair my life I have a therapist julia Kristia Counseling my name is captain redberry I'm having problem letting my past go that's why I'm watching this what should I do?
Hi Julia. I have been struggling a bit with mental health issues amidst this pandemic and noticed you do not have a videos about this topic. How do we deal with all this self isolation in a balanced way? I know people are holding their breath for the vaccines, but after reviewing research from viral experts I have realized the rainbow won't simply appear as soon as the vaccines arrive. We are in this for the long haul and have to adapt to this new reality. I have heard mention about current mental health issues on the periphery, but I am having trouble finding resources that have advice and coping strategies amidst this pandemic. Please help.
Ok I understand I how I bring up the past, but what if your family keeps telling you, your not good enough, your a piece of shit etc. How do you deal with that past trama? Eventually you end up believing them and it's hard to move forward with those nasty words in your mind.
Bumped into your channel a couple of weeks ago and started to listening to your messages over and over. Finally saying here “hello”, since this message is just what I needed to hear right today. Thanks so much for your excellent work sharing your knowledge and your beautiful positive energy. Saludos from Spain!
This is something I have a lot of trouble doing because I tend to take things personally even when I shouldn’t!! I hope you have an awesome rest of your week 💗
Admir Barucija hello I was on this channel that I follow sometimes and looking through the comments I seen your name and straight away come here I'm kinda new to this channel and video but I'm always looking max watching videos to so with health problems good to see you here as usually see you on kati Morton s channel also this video reminds me of myself alout and I relate to your comment aswell I am often thinking about my past things I did or said to people to cut it short my past the things I went through is the reason for my mental health now so I hate my past hope you are well tale care x
i need this. i was looking for something that i could use to my current situation and this video appeared on my notifications. this helped a lot. thank you.
Shout out to all the dudes here learning and trying to be their best selves. And the women taking accountability for their mistakes and trying to be better. Y'all make the world a better place.
This is what I needed today. I'm struggling with the past and letting go of it which in turn creates bad behaviors that I take out on people I love and it pushes them away. They don't want me around, then I'm in a position where I isolate. I'm working on myself and I'm determined to change. And it doesn't happen overnight like Julia Kristine states
I really needed to hear this one! Thank you:) i would love one day for you to do a video on aging without fear. I find the older i get the more afraid i get of aging/being old and it really makes me afraid of the future and uncomfortable in the present as the days go by.
Hi, my name is John and I have been stuck in the past for a long time now. I’ve had a lot of negative experiences with people in the past and so it caused me to be defensive and withdrawn. Although recently I have made an effort to be more sociable and People are starting to reciprocate. Sometimes you need a change in your environment, not just your thoughts and behaviour, for where I currently live is constantly reminding me of the past.
Excellent video. Needed to hear this more than ever. I was constantly being told growing up that I was a screw up, worthless, would never amount of anything and....I have been fighting that narrative in earnest for the past 15 years. Some days are easier, others it seems I can't get those voices to shut up but it shows how powerful our past life events can influence us. My biggest issue is I will often try to do things starting with the mindset that things will be different but having to fight the past experiences and the expectation that it will end the same so why bother. It's hard but as they say, better to try and fail than no try at all.
This Video Sounds Just Like Me. Having No Wisdom Or Common Sense. Being The World's Stupidest Person. I Never Did One Thing!!!! I Attract Every Mistake Person Around. Or Every Miserable Person Finds Me. No Matter Where I Go. It's Like, REALLY.
I've been trying to let go of the past for going on 31 years. I'm 41 now. The moment was when my mom died, I blamed myself (and still do) for her dying. I let her, my family and myself down. And I can't let go of it, my mind won't let me. Every night since she died I watch her die in my dreams. I've watched her die over 11,000 times, and it gets even better. From 9-13 I also buried my dad, grandad, brother and uncle. My ENTIRE IMMEDIATE FAMILY dead before I left elementary school. I've tried to let go of the past by burning every reminder of them I had. I've tried to love myself but I literally can't stand looking at myself in a mirror.
I'm so sorry that must be so difficult to have lost so many family especially your immediate family. This sounds like survivors guilt. Have you done therapy for it? You are not responsible for people dying. If you believe in God. He gives and takes life and that's not up to me or you. Its really hard I know. But the only way to heal yourself is to forgive yourself. No matter how many what ifs and how much you tried. You cant alter fate. The only thing you have control over is you. Also ask yourself, would your family want that you are suffering? I dont believe they would. So live your life fully and happy for them. ❤
Julia is it common to experience anxiety when doing thought work? And if so, do you believe that building self trust will help to reduce that anxiety? Thank you!!!
Yess it can especially if you have so many thoughts inside your head. Tried doing mediation today but just couldn't focus so decided to do a brain dump in my journal and that really helped me focus after. Just getting stuff off your chest can really help and also when you realise that it may just be fears and lies you are telling yourself it helps you see what you need to change.
Hi JKC I was not born with a manual that told me how to navigate as a human being, but your clear words and wisdom are a great help and inspiration I do not want to be without. Thanks for this awesome video!
I believe it's about not taking things too much seriously. It's about not giving too much importance to our incarnation itself. When you start to think that you are important or worthy, you have the pressure to achieve everything as if it would be the end of the world if that didn't. But once you don't say anything about you anymore, about the value of your existence, the things in every fields on your journey will be easier to experience. It's essential to see everything as an experience, not more than an experience either good or bad. It's about the detachment with the analytical consciousness or ego that wants to control everything but apart from being exhausted, you won't get anything from It. The manifestations that appear come from another plane of consciousness, that one already knowing the possibilities that exist. Because I believe that nobody creates one's reality but implements something that is already done in another plane of consciousness. And in this plane, there are no failures, no mistakes, no achievements because everything is seen as an experience irrespective of being good or bad. This plane is like a cold computer with all the experiences you are supposed to do. It seems to be esoteric but I believe that it works like this. That's why it's essential to detach from everything and rather see us like actors who play a script that is already created. But as we don't know the outcomes, we play and we will see...
Hi I'm new here :) i want to have healthy relationships and have a positive outlook on life and to stop living in fear but i feel stuck! so I've come here for some advice.
Thank you so much for this video. I’m particularly finding patterns in my thinking at the end of relationships. I’m starting to make links between things that happened in my childhood and the people I seek out as an adult. My go to thought is always ‘I am unloveable’ and I’m trying to challenge this. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt but it’s a start. ❤️
Thank you for those open ended questions to challenge self defeating thoughts, narrative. I’ve been on edge as it’s “always” negative feedback from others. I try to be my own cheerleader for the most part.
I've just been questioning myself "Why am I always like this?" then your video just popped up. Thank you so much Julia. I don't know how many times I realized that I've been doing harm to myself just because I watch your videos. This helps me a lot. Take good care 🤗
I've had many, exotic, "no me, I'm whole & complete, I'm FREE, this is it, I'm GOD, JESUS CHRIST, the Abolute, Infinity, NO THING, Enlightenment" experiences, beliefs & realities....yet they come, then go away, leaving me (the Ego/person) almost as CRIPPLED as before the exotic event. Your teachings offer much more than what I've found so far. Thank you.
I Hate My Miserable Life. I Tell Myself That Everyday Day That I Wake Up. I Wasted My Whole Miserable Life Away. Chasing The Wrong Things. And The Wrong Things Kept Chasing Me. I Never Could Seem To Get Away From My Past. And Old Bad Habits. Being Raised As a Unwanted Abused And Neglected Foster Problem Child. And Having No Conscience Of Right And Wrong. Being Raised In a Miserable Foster Family From Hell!!!
Nonduality says that nothing is wrong & nothing is missing...there is only what happens...god/bad, right/wrong...this is it...an indescribable MYSTERY! it's not a teaching but just a description of WHAT IS. Yet I still need teachings, methods & practices to manage life...I guess that's also just "what's happening" over here!
Much of the narrative of my life was shaped by my Mum- she was unhappy, reactive, and bitter about her own Past and perceived unjustices she continued to harbor resentment about. My Mum said things to me that one should never say to a child: " you're a failure", " you'll never amount to anything", and worst of all , " I wish you had never been born". I was often the scapegoat for her feelings- or made to feel that way. My Late Husband , also blamed me for his own unhappiness- when I had nothing to do with whatever he blaming me for. It has been a cycle in my life and I have continued to feel as though I am not worthy, or a "failure". Since my husband died, I have done more for myself than ever before- taken on new tasks and am building confidence in myself- one brick at a time. I can see my reaction to stress and triggers that often want to engage my brain in old patterns of behavior- not saying I am successful at every turn but I can see that there is still work to do , on myself- and despite procrastination attempting to sideline me ( and it does )- I have to do for myself- because NO ONE is coming to save me.
It’s just the past used to be good. Like you miss your own childhood days. Like for example if you were born in the 80s or the 90s then you would say to yourself I want to bring back the 80s and 90s again or something I was born in the 2000 so the 2000 used to be good the culture it used to be fun. Everybody used to have fun no anymore
