Two things: I cannot express how much it means to me when you give a little disclaimer about parenthood topics, even though I’m gonna watch either way. It makes me feel cared for in a way that brings me to tears each time and it is deeply appreciated. Second, we bought our first/only house two years ago when I was 47 and I had an extremely similar reaction to yours with lots of disorientation for quite a while. I kept thinking ‘I’m not the kind of person who lives in a house! House living is for those other people!’ I tried to explain this feeling to loved ones and no one understood what the hell I was talking about. I don’t feel like that anymore but I remember the feeling vividly.
A baby, a house, a move, a book. I think you are entitled to at least a couple of weeks of breathing space to unpack, enjoy your baby squeal with delight or frustration and weep in your grief. And may I say you are doing it with a grace that I admire and seek to emulate. Blessings
Therapist and grief counselor here; I've been with you since 2022 trying to heal MY childhood *stuff* and just want to thank you for being brave enough to normalize vulnerability. You've built a beautiful corner of the internet, you have my gratitude :D
Hiring packers, movers, and a cleaning crew were the best money I spent when I bought my house. They’re more efficient at this than we can ever be. The stress it alleviates is priceless. An added bonus that so many people forget is that the liability for damages is now on them. If it’s not too late, the best tips I can pass along is just to put all your stuff away in your current house, or at least with the things it should be packed with. Then label every packed box on all sides with the room you want the box put in when it’s unloaded in the new house. Good luck!
As a long time subscriber, I cannot speak for everyone else, but from the bits and pieces you've shared previously, I figured you were a little scarce because of all the big changes going on in your life. It is a lot of big events, having the baby and the house all at the same time, along with whatever other things all people deal with day to day. I knew you would get your legs underneath you and turn the corner. We enjoy the journey with you, but you owe us nothing. Your videos are incredibly insightful and this insight along with your compassion is why you have grown your channel. I, too, have gone through big life changes in the last year, and I also find I'm low on bandwidth for personal processing. But we are so happy you have the baby and so happy you're buying a home. The shame will pass and the joy will be wonderful. I urge you to deliberately choose to be kind to yourself as I also struggle to do. We are in this together and we will be here when you emerge to the other side. God bless you as you roll through the roller coaster of life.
I, too, felt like I would never be able to buy, but at age 44, single, the opportunity arose and I took the leap of faith and did it. That was over 20 years ago. I’m now married to the best guy in the world, we’re retired, and bought a home we absolutely love. Being stretched by holding grief and gratitude gets easier with age, in my experience. Not that either of those things are lessened … it’s the stretch that has become something I can handle with more grace. Hang in, girl … we’re all pulling for you. 🥰🤗
I have the same pride/shame about my career. It never occurred to me that I might be good at something and could have a successful career. So proud of you and happy for you!
Absolutely resonate with the home purchase emotions and not wanting to tell anyone. I just tell people “I’ve moved house” and I don’t even mention the purchase unless they specifically ask. The millennial guilt is strong after watching so many friends forced to skip major milestones like this. We also had to do the 2 month Reno before moving in and it was a chaotic experience. We’ve been living in the place for 3.5 months now and it’s finally starting to feel like home. Be patient with yourself, “the only way out is through” 🤝
As a random person with creative dreams who thinks I will probably never be able to buy a house…I’m just so so happy for you!!! I’m so excited for you to have a place that is truly your own! Thank you for sharing what’s going on in your life. Love ya 🇵🇸❤
You’ve build a great community of people who support you and everything you’re going through. Enjoy your success, it’s beautiful how humble you are. Can’t wait to see the new home ❤
Gosh, I just feel so much compassion and respect for you, for what you are able to articulate so graciously and share so thoughtfully with us on this platform. The balancing act it must be to hold the private and public, personal and professional aspects of your life, ooof! And all while holding the grief and the gratitude, as that quote so beautifully puts it. Wishing you ease and grace as you navigate this hugely transitional time, congratulations on the wonderful parts, and sending compassion for the hard ones.
This all resonates so much! I so appreciate your big heart and your vulnerability, Hannah! I have elder care, a kid with autism and work full time - it’s hard enough without devastating news and suffering around the world. As you say it’s a lot to hold at once!!Sending you so much support and gratitude for your channel. You make the world a bit brighter for so many of us! ❤
Oh wow you genuinely brought me to tears at the end there... I love that Francis Weller quote. I hope the move went well and you and your family are doing great in the new house so far!
What a beautiful video! Every time I watch one of your videos I’m thankful that I’ve found this person who talks about the deeper things of the inner life AND makeup and fashion. If I could have requested the perfect RU-vid channel it would be this.
I so appreciate your reflections. It is hard to balance gratitude and well-earned pride with grief and acknowledgement that so many others do not have the same opportunities. Listening to you was a good reminder to me that being stretched by the grief and the gratitude is the point. Thank you so much for your videos. I don’t give a rip about makeup. I just like to hear you think.
Congrats on the house! I feel you on that weird Millennial paradox: shame of not having a home, and preemptive guilt if I ever do manage to fulfill the dream...
Moving into a house that you bought and needs work is a lot to process all at once. And renovating especially DIY takes waaayyy longer than you think initially. It's so exciting though and I am obsessed with interior design so can't wait to see that content. It's been fun watching your stories on Instagram too, mini updates. Thank you for sharing this all!
Being a parent makes the Gaza genocide hit harder. Thank you for acknowledging the unfathomable horrors. And that Francis Waller quote shook me. I was a fan but now I’m loving your content even more.
I relate so strongly to this video. Your feelings are valid and strangely listening to you work through your life changes and feelings helps me process my own feelings from years ago going through similar circumstances. I love your content and find it so relaxing and helpful. You have helped me so much with my own mindfulness. Which is strange maybe but true. All of that said- hiring packers and movers when you have a baby is a fantastic idea and I am not sure if we ever fully understand how our brains change when we have a baby. You will never be the same. Wishing you the best move. Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait for the new summer content from your new space:)
Thanks for sharing all this! Looking forward with you to the good things to come. I’d like to say, in the midst of all this, if your married relationship is staying resilient that is such a key and such a thing to be grateful for.
If you went back in time and told No Buy Year Hannah that you bought a house, imagine how she’d react. I remember you talking about being surprised that the money in your wallet was growing instead of shrinking. And now you’ve grown to the point of home ownership! I hope you take a moment to be proud of yourself and sit with that feeling. ❤❤❤
Congratulations on buying a house! It is both the most exciting, gratifying AND stressful thing. Just know that after this move (ugh) you won't have to do it again for a long, long time :) We bought ours in 2007 ( talk about crappy timing ) I was 46 when I owned a new new car for the 1st time & 47 when we bought our house. I never thought either of those was possible. Still have both the house & the car I can't believe I've become a person who would stay in the same place for 17 yrs (some of that is circumstances beyond our control but still) It's really nice to not have to deal with crazy landlords, rent increases & inconsiderate neighbors you share a wall with. Also, you can paint the walls whatever color you want :D Enjoy the journey ❤
Congrats!!! I totally understand what you mean about the house thing! We also bought a house last year and was surprised by how much I didn’t want to share about it! You helped me find the words to the confusion! Glad you’re on the other side now ❤
Much love to you in this time of joy ( and grief.) I’m so happy for you. Moving by itself is stressful, so please make sure to take extra good care of yourself!! ❤
I'm so happy and proud of you, Hannah. And I'm grateful for your sharing such honest and raw feelings with us. I don't have many friends, so it really does mean something to me when someone I follow and admire shares as you have - I feel less alone with my own hard feelings. So I'm sending you a warm and thankful virtual hug, all the way from Brisbane, AUS 🤗🧡
A silly comment I've been not posting every week, but still think every time so here we are: I had really hoped that when your son was born your title sequence would be updated with a little swaddled baby, balanced on top of Sadie's head at a jaunty angle! But the new one is lovely too 😘 Genuinely delighted that your hard work is being rewarded with the security of your own home and the joys of making it beautiful and comfortable. The system is rigged and vile, but if we can ethically hack it there's no shame. So much love to you ❤️
I truly love watching you and every time I watch a video you give me something to think about. Your content touches my heart in such a special way and I really am so glad I found your channel.
I just wanted to share that I’ve really appreciated your content and perspective over the last almost two years. I became a mom almost two years ago, and it rocked my sense of self, in wonderful and very challenging ways. And a lot of your content and frame of mind has really helped me reshape and define what I need in myself, my environment, and in my worldview to make my life feel more my own. It’s actually had a major impact on my mental health, and I’m very grateful for that. I’ve had similar struggles to some of the things you’ve shared (guilt around my life being better than expected in certain ways, challenges with body feeding and self-worth, unreasonable guilt around not being able to perfectly plan around unpredictable chaos, etc.), so if it gives you any comfort, please know that your content/you have been a positive impact on my life in those areas. You’re not alone in these struggles, and I hope you’re able to find some grounding peace to guide you through both the exciting and difficult things that lay ahead for you and yours ❤
Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you and your family! This is an exciting time for y’all! Please share how you found your home; and how you knew it was the one; and what is your favorite part of your home that made you say, “Yes! This is our home!” I love home decor videos! Again, congratulations!!❤❤❤
Thank you for always being so vulnerable and real with us. And also, CONGRATULATIONS! These are big things that also deserve to be celebrated amidst the chaos!
Thank you for sharing, Hannah. You are so inspiring and deserving if all the happiness in the world. The quote about holding grief in one hand and gratitude in the other was so powerful. Thank you for, even briefly, acknowledging the atrocities being commited in Gaza.
It brings me joy to see such a lovely person as you accomplishing such an important thing as your own place to live. I am so happy for you and your family. I was not sure at all that it is possible for such delicate soul as yours and Joe's. Excuse my english. I live in non english speaking country in Europe.
Congrats on your house! 🥳🥳🥳 I am looking forward to house content. I find it hard to talk about good things too because I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting lol. I hope your family things get better ❤️
Your last point on the duality of life struck really deeply - not only in balancing the grief and gratitude but also in balancing the personal and the societal. You are not alone in this struggle, but from my personal experience as a person whose profession is advocating for peace in the Middle East, sometimes it’s about making an active choice to allow yourself moments of distance and selfishness when and if it’s possible. Like you always say - taking care of yourself so you can be most effective version of yourself in your work. All the best 💕
You deserve your success and increased financial security, Hannah, You have such a highly tuned sense of compassion and empathy, and it's OK to both enjoy your success and progression in life and still feel empathy for others who are still waiting. We all contain multitudes and two things can be true at once. Try and enjoy the moment and share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. x
Thank you for your vulnerability and openness with us as we cheer for you. I understand the weight of carrying a lifetime of complementary multiplicities. I just graduated college with a fine art degree, having had my first gallery show, and graduating with scholarships and the highest honors. All while also being in and out of the hospital, navigating homelessness, physical abuse, etc. and I’m so grateful to have graduated when I never thought to live to see my twenties, much less “succeed”, but for every ray of light I am simultaneously so deeply saddened by the mourning of a life I don’t have. Mourning the loss of opportunities and memories taken away by a life of being deeply sick and stricken with abuse and trauma a child just can’t carry forever. We are spread thin through joy and a horror of knowing the weight of this world. But it’s is always one step at a time. I believe in your strength, as I have believed in mine. We’re cheering you on ♥ and will always be here for you to return to , no matter the status of your channel and navigating the inner & familial worlds ♥
Hannah, the amount I want to hold you and/or sit down and just have a coffee with you which I wouldn't even drink because caffeine lays waste to me is extraordinary. haha. Over time, one of the reasons I became such an avid fan of your channel was that the you of it all often emotionally corresponded with the me of it all, and I feeeeel this video. The grief in one hand and gratitude in the other, stretched large, is basically the map of my daily life right now. One of life's greater strangenesses in my experience is how unprepared I've been to be happy when The Event finally happened. That other circumstances dulled it or it was something too grand for me to celebrate seemingly because of its very enormity. I guess what I'm saying is, it's okay. You possibly don't need to hear that, but I'll just say it again - that it's okay. You'll be sitting in your red-drenched room at some point in the future and unexpectedly sink into the joy of it without a compromised feeling accompanying it. Maybe the feeling will end up fleeting, but it'll be there. The same goes for any other conflict in you. It will come. A delayed joy counts as a joy nonetheless. You deserve it all.
The quote about grief and gratitude resonates with me so much at this time as well. I've had to place my Mom (my first best friend and my greatest comfort) into memory care for advanced Alzheimer's disease and at the same time my husband and I reached a financial goal we've had for years that seemed so big and out-of-reach. We did it. Heartache and happiness. That's a life well-lived and meaningful. Congratulations and good luck, Hannah!
Thankful for your transparency and for languaging such complex realities. Deeply resonating with the quote you shared, the dynamic tension, & the overwhelming situation in the Middle East. I too have people I adore who are in pain I cannot fathom. It matters that you are similarly undone. Great-FULL to join you in the revelry that this wonderful child and heretofore unimaginable home are giving you both. Press on, sweet lady! We are right there with you, stomping the grapes, Lucy-style, knowing that the laughter is only a fragment of the true story.
I discovered you through The Financial Diet and I can't get enough of this channel! You helped me get over my shopping addiction and for that I want to thank you ❤
Something that has astounded me about life is how even good change is emotional and can be overwhelming. I don’t adjust to change well and I’ve found that even good things, things I’ve wanted for years, actually throw me off and I go through a gamut of emotions. And then, seemingly, how quickly life falls into place when we look back. Congratulations on all of your big changes!
your emotional maturity and depth of thought are so important for us to see. i’m very supportive of you keeping things to yourself if it’s not time for you to share them. and fine if it never is time! you share plenty!!
Thank you for being willing to do a video by the skin of your teeth and normalizing the rollercoaster that can be major life changes like having a child and moving into a new house. Been there. Wishing you an easeful moving process!
Congratulations for the house! You both work hard. Since i am from Israel i understand the feeling of grief and happiness occuring at the same time. I understand how it feels unfair to be grateful one day and devastated the other, how it feels like you are not suppose to have a good day. But but but everyone has a journey, and thus we can only have our own journey without comparison
Also grieving here and in gratitude. My friend shared this poem, which I'm sure you are familiar with. The end of your video seems to echo it. By Mary Oliver I Go Down to the Shore I go down to the shore in the morning and depending on the hour the waves are rolling in or moving out, and I say, oh, I am miserable, what shall - what should I do? And the sea says in its lovely voice: Excuse me, I have work to do.
The simultaneous feelings of grief and gratitude can be torturous. What’s going on in the world makes it hard not to cry everyday. Seeing those who are suffering is heart wrenching. At the same time, being grateful for the gifts I have and remembering how lucky I am just feels weird … to put it mildly. Thank you for sharing. It helps to know there are empathetic soles in the world. We need more of you in this crazy place. P.S … I can’t wait for you to try the new LE lip balms! I thought of you instantly when she released them. I grabbed the metropolis and it is stunning! Not as deep as it appears on Lisa when she did her YT video on them. ❤
Aah! I was wondering if y’all bought a house or were just moving, it’s incredible how much your financial situation has changed in 6 years, congrats! The updated, more professional description box-I noticed lol. I know this isn’t your typical channel content at all, but I would love to see a financial breakdown of purchasing your home like Chelsea did on TFD, given your channel’s origins, I think it would be really valuable to a lot of people.
I get you about the house. actually about the "past me looking at present me and kinda cringing" thing XD going through big changes gives us that feeling sometimes...but just enjoy ❤ lounge in the moment 😊 I am going through big changes myself and I am focusing on thinking about what future me will remember about this. You'll cherish these moments in your heart and the chaos will make you laugh ❤
I really appreciate your vulnerability and the quote you shared at the end resonates with me a lot. I've been going through huge changes too - burnt out completely last October, got diagnosed as autistic as a result of that, moved to my first ever own appartment and now I'm slowly starting working again as I'm navigating how to rebuild my life with this new knowledge about myself. All while witnessing the horrors around the world and terrible election results in my country. It's a lot, but this video reminded me that we're all in this grief and beauty together and there are safe and communal spaces like this one, even on the scary internet. Hope the move went well, lots of love! 💖
Wow the twirl of over do…Life on life’s terms is just so surreal when it hits totally organically. I’m so happy for all the happy, amazing blessings happening for you! Challenges aside, your life is so exciting to hear about and I’m so excited for the future of your channel. I know it’s going to be such a fun time in your life when you settle in. And I’m admiring how stretched large you are…remember to breathe. ❤ Thanks for the check in. You look beautiful. As usual.
Yes, the duality in our existence is very powerful sometimes. Congratulations to you and Joe for your new home. After so many moves, I hope you will be happy there for a long time. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I love the makeup look on you today.
Becoming a home owner is, not only a symbol of your hard work, but also of your skill in content creation and writing, both of which are incredibly competative field. I know you are worried about how your successess will be processed for people who cannot access what you can but it is also important to think about how your content will be processed by people who may have the same feelings in a capitalist society. I think that often people, particularly women, have difficulty promoting themselves, asking for their work to cost what it is worth, and telling people that they have the type of job that has made them financially successful. Telling people what you have achieved is a catalyst for them to imagine themselves also achieving what you have and imagining themselves as the type of person who's work is worth the increased cost associated with a specialized skill set.
Your book arrived in my local library in New Zealand this past week! I can't wait to read it 😊 Good luck with breathing through this period of imposter syndrome and chaos, the other side is going to be so good and we are all 100% rooting for you ❤
Thank you for explaining so well how you feel about buying your home, it made me feel seen and not disconnected from you while I'm deeply in the "will never happen for me" space.
Congratulations on buying a house! My son is almost 2, and the thought of organizing a move now is daunting, let alone when he wasn't one yet. I'm so happy to have seen you on this journey since the beginning, and it's stressing but once you're on the other side, you're gonna be so happy and it's gonna be worth it
I am so happy for you, your husband and your baby ❤ yo deserve to have your own house!!! I am so excited for you guys 😊 welcome to your new chapter in your life ❤
Dude, this is just a genuine time capsule of the chaos (including joy) that's going on for you right now. And I would love a whole video on a bathroom redo ❤
All the best to you and your familiy for your new life in your new home. I hope the grief won't overshadow the joy too much (saying this as a person who's struggled with that for long time and increasingly lately). ❤
Love you Hannah! And kudos for showing up even once per week, if I was in your situation I would be so overwhelmed. Thank you for giving us a sneak peak into you beautiful heart.
I have a confession… your videos got me through PPD 4 years ago at the height of Covid. I’m there with you in spirit and I will certainly continue to support your channel. Congratulations on your home! ❤
(Haven't watched yet, but...) After a long hiatus away from anything beauty YT related, I have come back to you (one of your original subbies, btw). We've corresponded many times under a different name, and perhaps you'll vaguely remember a comment a few years ago referencing you as being 'avante guard', and you relaying how funny that was, because your Dad used to call you that when you were young. 🥰 Congrats on the amazing life progressions; what a joy it has been to catch up via your videos. Thank you for the work you do. It should say something that you and your channel are the one and only I've watched upon my recent return to the beauty Youtubies. All the best to you. ☺
Buying a house was truly one of the most stressful things I’ve ever been through (and there’s a lot of competition for that title!) I’m so happy for you and your family. Homeownership is still an adventure 10+ years later, but it’s given me the stability to try all sorts of ideas about what to be doing with my life, and I hope it will offer you that too.
missed you! Watching you wipe your eye with packaging paper off the floor says it all. We can relate; you're a mother, and a great content creator. thanks for this personal vid; youve touched my heart today.
Hannah I totally empathise with you about moving from renting a house to owning your first home. I am currently in the exact same situation and paying rent and mortgage for months is no joke. I hope we both can find some calm in the coming weeks as we set up our new homes. Sending love from England.
"wood chips and butt" is LITERALLY the perfect way to describe the scent of the ILIA serum hahaha! It's why I had to stop using it!!! I tried for a while because I loved the look and feel, but ultimately just couldn't do it. I wonder if it's something they'll ever change. I HOPE!
Congrats on your house, i hope it will treat you well! Your book just arrived at my house in sweden at 5.30 in the morning yesterday, and i am already amazed by the first few poems i read.
I bought my house (which I never thought I could do) one year ago. I was 7-months pregnant, very ill and with other 4 children. It took me 4 months packing things and the night before I was convincing my husband to hire a truck and some movers. I was looking for the people to hire the same day. It was one of the biggest adventures I have ever been to, I understand the feeling. I was also ashamed at first and not able to talk much about it due to I felt unworthy and aleays thinking about those who can't afford it. One year later, I am still grateful, conscious of how lucky I am and just enjoying my house.
When I'm overwhelmed by feeling tons of different emotions at the same time, I try to remember: "Peace is the base of all emotions the way white light is the base of all colors. The primary colors for light are red, green and blue. When you combine all the colors of light equally, the result in white light. In white light, all the colors are assimilated. We see the emotion of peace as similar: peace is the combination of all emotions, and all emotions are assimilated within peace. Some people think of peace as the absence of emotion. That is a transcendent kind of peace, a peace of the soul in another world, not here, not in the heart. There is a peace in the heart that is not transcendent, that is very much needed in this world, and that peace is a powerful and complete emotion.” It is from the book Energize Your Heart by Puran Bair. It's an amazing read on heart meditation.
Hannah, I just want you to know, we’re watching from all over the world and we love you! Please know that in these extremely devastating times, even if only momentarily, you bring us joy with your videos! 🇦🇺 💛
Thank you for sharing, for being vulnerable, for being authentic. So much of what you said resonated with me on a deep level and it's comforting to know, that I am not alone. Praying all goes well with the move and for your new season 🙏❤️ Don't for get to take extra good care of yourself and to rest as well. Rest is a weapon given to us by God. The enemy hates it because he wants us to be stressed and distracted. Sending love ❤
Hannah, I’ve never commented but as I’m watching this I’m getting to have a cathartic cry with you. I’m so happy for you and also wish you so much rest and ease. I always refer to you as my favorite RU-vid lady, because you are, and have shared your poetry with anyone who will listen. Thank you. I’m discombobulated so I don’t know what to write, but thank you.
Thank you for sharing that quote. I can understand the place you’re in because, just barely a year ago, my father passed away 16 days after my son was born. Although I was still, somehow, blissfully happy with my baby, my greatest joy was and is forever eclipsed by my greatest loss. The only word I could use to describe how it felt at the time was “surreal.” The year mark was brutal. Remember, if you only have 10% to give, giving that 10% is your 100%. You’re doing a great job, mama. I’m feeling for you. - Ellen
Honestly girl, same. We're all felling stretched out, but adding a move to that, phew! Sending you good luck in everything! -Just ordered your book, hopefully it makes a safe delivery all the way to Lima, Peru. Abrazos!
