The wonders of America continue with this all-color 44th volume of Something Weird’s star-spangled Lifestyles USA series that goes from the glories of the Pennsylvanian countryside to living bookbinders.
SYLVAN HOLIDAY IN PENNSYLVANIA (color) shows us all the Kodachrome-colored vacation fun we can have in Pennsylvania and, oh boy, there are mountains and parks and even “gay resorts” as well as “swimming holes,” beauty contests, hiking, skiing, little birdies, bunny rabbits, and beaver. Plus two kids eat watermelon with the words “The End” printed on it.
OLD McDONALD'S FARM (1952, color) starts in the crowded streets of New York where little Tommy wishes he could play in the country. So he writes a letter to the mysterious “kind people who arrange vacations for boys and girls like himself” (I’ll bet) and, sure enough, he’s off to a farm in Westchester County that, quite honestly, doesn’t look any different from Pennsylvania. Same trees, same birdies, same… Oh no, oh no, don’t do this! Oh geez… yes, some idiot sings the Old McDonald song - the entire song - which goes on and on and makes one want to kill Tommy, burn down Westchester County, and commit mass murder almost immediately.
THE PARENT'S ROLE AS TEACHER (color) reminds parents to make sure kids go to bed on time and not stay up watching TV. And “horror films and other highly emotional television dramas are completely out of order before going to sleep.” Nobody wants you to have fun. Made by the Kutztow School District. That’s “Kutz” with a “t.” Pennsylvania again. (Where else?)
A REPORT ON THE 43rd NATIONAL AUTOMOBILE SHOW (color) touts an upcoming auto show and its theme of “Wheels of Freedom!” But… uh, we don’t actually see the show or any automobiles. We just see drawings of what things might look like. Gee, thanks a lot, guys.
THE CHEVY THAT WANTED TO BE A CADILLAC (color) is… well, a strange one. A man driving an old 1939 Chevrolet sees a politician being driven around in a new Cadillac. When the man returns home, his old Chevy suddenly talks. “I want to be a new Cadillac, “ the old Chevy says. This inexplicably leads to a discussion of Jesus and of “a Christian being a new creature.” What the?! Yes, indeed, Lifestyles USA has been invaded by our Christian Scare Films series! Anyway, the old Chevy does various things to try and fool the world into thinking it’s a new Cadillac, eventually getting crushed in a junkyard and its metal melted down into new Cadillac parts. All of which is some kind of Christian metaphor. You guys figure it out; I’m off to Pennsylvania.
At Your Fingertips (color) is, at long last, finally a short about something that really and truly matters: cigars.
The Longest Run (color) stars a couple of Gumby lookalikes: Vinny Vinyl and Ringo Binder, two school bookbinders made alive by stop-motion animation, who tout the joys of Acco plastic, with one binder remaining clean and durable, while the other quickly falls apart. Creepy.
7 окт 2024
