To Ebony's point at 13:20, the black community is trapped in a superficial caricature of black masculinity. A tall, hypermasculine felon will be treated better than a new college grad in almost every setting. Ebony and the cast could showcase the 2024 black male law school graduates, but they don't hit the radar for some reason 🤔. These guys exist, why not lift their voices and publicly praise them? I've experienced this first hand. When I graduated from an ivy with a STEM degree, it garnered me respect in every community but ours
My conclusion from watching this video is we need to listen to married black women. Because these monolith echo chambers of celebrity women on these platforms aren’t helping anyone. I am married, my momma is still married to my dad. My grandparents are still married/widowed. All my male and female cousins are married. It’s not easy but these videos aren’t helping. Listen to a vetted counselor, family members in a solid marriage of over 20 yrs, or a family friend. I want black couples to win and succeed like my family but this ain’t it fam.
@@jayc5756 this is still a conversation by single people that only hits such a niche demographic and the people having a discussion of anything are not the best people to speak on relationships. And panels of single men have similar content/conversations online too that are cringeworthy as well. I think some people just want to hear themselves talk.
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re happy, it doesn’t mean you’re at peace and it certainly doesn’t mean your marriage is rooted in mutual respect. That’s what the women on this panel are seeking. We need to stop acting like simply being married makes you the right person to advise singles. As an engaged woman, I would gladly listen to an advice from someone who is happily married. Before I take your advice, I want to observe how your man treats you because the type of husband you have may not be the type of husband I want.
@@lynne709 we yes that’s why I pointed out seeking advice from a vetted counselor or someone in a solid marriage that after observation and conversation is happily married. There are bad counselors and people in broken or unstable marriages but that is why due diligence is important.
Fact check your comment about women not having bank accounts until 1976. That is my age group and I have no memory of the women in my family not having their own bank accounts. I've had one since I was 16 years old.
Thank you 😂😂 some information has to be taken at a grain of salt. Basically, everything that was said was pure doo doo. God gave all of us choices and free will, no matter if it's bad, it's still freedom of choice.
This is just feminist rhetoric that they put out to mislead women like a woman couldn't have a bank account, a credit card, own land, etc without a man signing off on it. Basically the truth is there was no law to prevent Banks and people from discriminating based on gender. So therefore if a bank or a person wanted to they could. So they twisted it and claimed that a woman couldn't but the truth is most banks and people didn't care and would allow women to do those things without a man they just simply had the option not to if they wanted to. But if they did discriminate you just simply go to another bank.
The uncomfortable and disappointing truth is that when you mistreat someone for so long that they will inevitably develop coping mechanisms to survive without you. As a black man who is HAPPILY married, the reality is that black, white, Asian, African, Hispanic or whatever race of woman you want to interject will ALWAYS follow a good man who is worth following. Healthy leadership in the black community used to be celebrated and touted as valuable and desirable. Not so much today. Listen to your favorite rapper. Watch your favorite social media influencer. Where do we challenge, celebrate and encourage black men to lead in a healthy and loving way? We literally just eviscerated J. Cole for apologizing publicly. We didn't want to see that man troubleshoot his poor behavior and ideologies in real time. Black women have been hard, rough and tough because unfortunately black men have tossed them, dragged them and dogged them and they are refusing to take it any more. Now, with all that being said. It does not excuse a lot of the gender wars, toxic biases and destructive behavior of some women who refuse to allow men to be the healthy men that they are. But I do understand the circumstances that have brought us to where we currently are.
I like your thinking in general. I would add “a certain kind/type of women” will always follow a good man. Let’s not act like there are not women out there who run through good men. For whatever reason (and there are many) and if men are honest, we all have a story about that one who broke our heart. Or, we know a man, who was a good man and he chose his mate poorly. You alluded to it, but this happens way more than we want to admit. I think the answer lies somewhere in middle, where we have men who want to exercise healthy leadership and women who want to appreciate that leadership in a healthy way. Not according to the masculinity she feels/operates out of in her core. That’s not healthy…
Women will follow a good leader. If she doesn’t, then leave her alone. You can’t redirect the conversation to what women will and women won’t do, when you haven’t taken responsibility as a leader. Real leadership is owning the outcome, good and bad. There will always be rebellious people, but I doubt you really wanted to partner and work with them anyway. The cooperative women who want the support will follow. The women that are desirable will police themselves at that point.
@@ninagrace-lee8323 That's not true though. Almost all of the best leaders in any race would be considered "corny" by black women, making them undatable. Any black man with an engineering degree knows exactly what I'm talking about
@@ninagrace-lee8323And we need more virtuous women who appreciate men and are not misandrist. Using laws to their advantage because they are bitter and hate men. Men tend to stay motivated and work hard to protect and provide when there are precious and virtuous women appreciating them and cheering them up. The opposite happens when women are not virtuous and call men trash and useless. Also saying they feel safer with a bear than a man. I am not protecting or providing for any random woman who is giving the chance, will call me gay, dusty, brokie, trash, toxic because I told them truth or they are not getting what they want from me. BUFFALOES DETERMINES HOW LIONS OPERATE!
Yes, we need MORE BLACK MEN to step up & teach these other black men how to lead, effectively communicate, willingly heal, take accountability & most importantly have faith in the creator throughout it all.
So... basically - make sure your kids have a good father in their life. That's who is supposed to teach boys how to be men. It's not on the "community."
@nikirenneechambers No... no village. It's father, mother, and the children all TOGETHER in the same home. The "village" has no obligation to YOUR children. Anything other people do for you is charity, and that includes family, friends, and anyone else who helps your family. Don't give your responsibility to others - you CANNOT count on outside help!!
@@kevinc3342 who said that. Your reaching. We are here on earth to love one another & learn. My point was as black men if you come across another black man help, guide, assist &/or etc.
@nikirenneechambers Again... FATHERS teach boys how to be men. Other men can help and ONLY if they want to, but it's not their responsibility. Don't expect random men to mentor YOUR sons!!
The woman in the white dress is speaking the truth as it pertains to independent, educated black women in today's society. They do not always lead by choice, but by default. 💯
@@jaybaby9713 WAYWARD = difficult to control or predict because of unusual or perverse behavior. Uncontrollable, ego's, narcissistic, selfish, very many adjectives are what so called modern women exhibit. Thing about it is observation shows the list continues with adjective after adjective, practically nonstop.
NOBODY gives a darn about “independent” women. We SEE them …shake our heads …and just keep walking. We will walk (or RUN 🏃♂️) past 20 “independent” and masculine women to the FEMININE women! They are out there in abundance and we have NO problem getting them. A so-called “MASCULINE” woman is like the weak, frail beta-male who overcompensates but never lives up to the standards for being a real *MAN!*
Nobody ever leads by default you always lead by choice. For example she speaks about her having a payroll. She didn't have to become a business owner by default just to survive. If you are with a man that's incapable of making reasonable decisions and leading. You picked that man because you wanted him AKA a choice not by default.
The real issue I see here and in a lot of these types of discussions is that there is a mentality that exists and has been bought into. In other words, these types of ladies like the psychology of what they’re saying. They want to be this way. They will say I want to be pretty, or I want to be pink and soft. But, all you have to do is look at their body language, tone, voice inflections to see that they are acting in bad faith. To become that which they say they want, would require them to do a 180 change. Which I believe they really don’t want to do. Because, it would mean they have to change from something they actually like, to something they dislike, just in order to get what they want. I don’t care what situation/scenario you put up against that, it’s going to be a struggle. IMHO, I think that a fair, open, direct and brutally honest discussion needs to be had (by all sides) to examine what we have actually bought into. I’m married 36 years, but what I see out there looks pretty bleak…
What you are speaking to is a problem with men. You want a woman to come into a situation relaxed and guard down. Foolish. Those women are taken advantage of and abused. For me, a man has to earn my respect in the same way I have to earn his. I'm independent until I meet a man reliable enough to depend on. He should move in the same way.
How are they acting in bad faith? Nothing they said was slander or disrespectful. If women are allowed to express their opinion and experiences, then we should be prepared to handle the discomfort that comes with that. You’ve been married for +20 years right? So you have no idea what single women are experiencing because you haven’t been one for a very long time. Maybe you should listen to understand vs police these women and their way of expressing themselves.
@@ninagrace-lee8323its nothing to understand it's just a bunch of women trying to put the blame on men and why they are the way they are. Always acting like innocent victims that don't have the ability to make a decision. Accountability for them is like kryptonite to Superman. I don't know if you have sons or know any boys in junior high and High School. Please go ask them how do the girls in their school act? They will tell you there just as masculine as the grown women. I promise you they are not going to say they're nice, sweet, feminine girls. Which means they have been taught these traits before they even started dating men. What blows my mind is it black women rarely get along with each other. Play a quick to say I really don't with females because they're full of drama and mess. But magically when it comes to relationships they all join hands as if they are these perfect innocent angels that just get dogged by men. Ask yourself how many times have you heard a woman say she was the problem in the relationship?
Unfortunately, this comes down to simple math and modern women’s ability or inability to adapt to a changing volatile market. Simply put, the men you want are rare. There are only so many Michael B. Jordan’s to go around. On the other hand, the women we’re attracted to, and have access to, are in every city. Ladies, businesses that don’t listen to their primary consumers, go under. Some of us are pulling for you. But, you’ll have to reduce those wish lists and soften up.
Ms. Ford I agree there are some women like you mention. What confuses me is why women who claim they don't want to be married and they don't want kids continue to go into spaces that the discussion is about relationships and have discussions. Just go be single and the rich auntie and leave the people who do want marriage and kids alone. We don't want to hear your opinions on relationships. I don't understand why waste your time with it is irrelevant and pointless unless you're truly lying.
#1) The average black woman in America is making roughly $40K annually. the average black woman in America isn't walking around here making $200K+ a year. If so they wouldn't be asking for money every time someone turns around. #2) sure women had to depend on a man to survive. But it was up to the men to also make sure they took care of the family as well. It was the men who were out there dying on the battlefields of the civil war and Nazi Germany in World war II. In Ukraine right now. The women were allowed to leave the men had the stay and fight. So this idea that men had it all fuzzy and warm while women were slaves is. . Whatever. But my main point i want to hit on is this. I'm perfectly fine with women being independent. But what women fail to understand is that every action is a reaction. And the thing is... Men simply don't have to be men of old anymore. Men shouldn't have to be providers and protectors anymore. Women should have to register for the draft. I tell men all the time. Do whatever makes you happy. If playing video games all day makes you happy... do it. If you're happy living a minimalist lifestyle...That's perfectly ok. Me, personally, I think marriage should be outlawed. That way everybody is forced to stay single. That pretty much solves a lot of problems. Everybody is forced to fend for themselves. 😆
Women that don’t want to be married discussing relationships in an echo chamber. Great stuff here 😏😂 y’all can be as high powered as you want ladies, if you want marriage get on his program. Or join these Sistas in single solidarity 🤝🏿
You can rest in feminine nature with the right men My current men allow me to be feminine It only occurs when you don’t have to fight at home, at work and in the streets
It’s a great conversation- As a black man in his 50s- Listening I would say our- Women want to see what - It’s like,, in there rolls today. In a manner- Offering You earthier Talk about people Talk about events Talk about solutions Othello The Entertainment 4-28-2024 8:56 pm
Only Eboni seems to have the range to have these discussions. Please replace the other panelists with black women who specialize in these discussions. There are so many of us and we are not monolithic in thought. Maybe rotate the panelists depending on the topic.
@@bigmed71 they should have did it for this topic. The majority of the panel for THIS topic did not have the range to discuss it. I’m sure they may do great work on other topics. The producers failed on this one.
Imagine if women let go of traditional ideologies created by patriarchy, quite having these repetitive conversations leading nowhere, and just said...... fuck it! What is my purpose and passion outside of a man? What relationships can I build outside of "romantic"? 🤔
Some black people have the lowest standards possibly. People want to take advice from a woman with yellow hair and green fingernail polish. A 40 something year old video vixen / onlyfans chick. A 40-something year-old woman that had to go to a sperm bank to get pregnant, and a one hit wonder who is the most feminine of them but doesn't talk or have a backbone to disagree smh. All of them have been around the top echelons of black men on a regular basis but can't lock down a single one of them.
13:30-How is Eboni Williams gonna have a call to action for black men to step up and speak to black men but when Kevin Samuels was doing that, all these BW had a problem with it?🤔
Kevin Samuels was a clout chaser. If you notice, most women respond to Umar Johnson. He has the educational background to say similar things as Kevin, without the backlash from women. He gets his backlash from men because they don't want to hear his words
@@meschellewilson8046 I hear ya...but Umar proved to be in the same boat when a few months back, he tried to group Eminem in something and label him a culture vulture cause he's white...but not the real culture vultures in our community. He only said Em cause he was 1 of the biggest white rappers in the game. That's when Umar lost his credibility for me. But it is what it is.
@@smc983 and herein lies the biggest problem. Yall swear Black women dont deserve our BIRTHRIGHT to real love, real provision, real protection and the pursuit of REAL happiness... "just go settle black girl" but GTFOH with that bs..lol ...thats how all of yall think and WE REJECT YOUR IDEOLOGY. PERIOD DOT COM.
I have said everything Ebony said and it sucks. I’ve been submissive and vulnerable all the things men said and they still took advantage soooo I just laugh when they talk now 😂 I’m working on it but I know at this point I cant live in delusion so follow I will not 😂
At what age did you begin to be submissive and vulnerable. Western women tend to do that when their time is ticking and the men know😂😂. It's only fair when you where submissive and vulnerable when younger. I could say you encountered bad Men. But when you do that at old age, men see that as tricking😂😂
Eboni didn't say a single thing about her being submissive or vulnerable. An when did you hear men say they want a vulnerable woman 😂? Eboni stated that they were all less than a size 10 and light skinned and that's what men claim they wanted 😂 smh. The only thing she was correct about was men like women who are in shape. But a man just likes attractive women her skin tone is irrelevant. But she left out quite a few other things that most good successful men look for. She claimed that people try to make black women except the bare minimum but then turn around and do the exact same thing to black men. She clearly said she only has the appearance of being a feminine woman but admitted she don't have the actual qualities.
Ebony is right. The Iyanla Vanzant discourse was hilarious because Ebony was never wrong. She’s light skinned and beautiful, very accomplished, and is telling us what other women of her caliber are seeing. It’s anecdotal but supported by evidence. It’s just falling on deaf ears The only way Black women would ever accept what Ebony is saying is if a man said it. If a black man (not even an attractive one) said EXACTLY this, he would be praised. Because it’s actually the truth - there’s a dearth of Black men. And no matter how black women perform femininity, you are not promised a man. Many BW will continue to be single whether they are masculine or not. I believe the latest marriage rate might be 28% for BW? Fact check that please. It’s sad but I believe many BW don’t want to be pessimistic about their reality so they cling to cognitive distortions or delusions. When the truth is obvious and universal. Even white people are noticing the dropping birth rate and low marriage rate - they’re just doing something about it. While we are debating what Ebony is saying, other communities are implementing public policy. Clearly THEY know the implications of what she’s discussing
And we need more virtuous women who appreciate men and are not misandrist. We have seen feminist movement, women like Oprah and shows dunking on men as if the technologies transmitting them to tv and machines producing their dresses and make up to cover up stuff are not made by men. Women using the privileges to their advantage against men because they are bitter and hate men. Men tend to stay motivated and work hard to protect and provide when there are precious and virtuous women appreciating them and cheering them up and stick by their men in their down moment. The opposite happens when women are not virtuous and call men trash and useless. Also saying they feel safer with a bear than a man, they are independent and need no man and a man cant tell her nothing.... I am not protecting or providing for any random woman, who when given the chance, will call me gay, dusty, brokie, trash, toxic because I told them truth or they are not getting what they want from me. I am not providing and protecting in a finesse culture era where women are rampantly taking good men for granted. As soon as the men goed into hard periods, these women will jump ship and say, "I had a good man but he wasn't good enough ". Until women starts being in their place, men will see them as equals and they will have to do everything by themselves as they say. Period. BUFFALOES DETERMINES HOW LIONS OPERATE!
Many male black podcast say some of the same things ebony was saying in the women still disagree and are outraged. Kevin Samuels was telling women this stuff that most successful black men don't want a boss chick. They prefer women who are in shape, etc
Bottomline is that this a new age. Those age old notions of gender and role are DEAD. Women had poor examples of independence because of the lack of choices ALL women have had to endure since the dawn of time. I don't need a woman to cook amd clean for me. I don't want or need a submissive wife. I don't want a lazy woman who has 3 kids by 3 different men expecting me to handle all of the bills. FOH!! I want an equal partner, NOT a headache!!
In America BW abort 38% of their babies. They glorify Baby Mama Culture, 78% unwed mothers, and are getting worse. Please research THE NEGRO PROJECT from white woman Margaret Sanger. They war against Mothernature herself.
Didn't Ebony K. end a four to five-year relationship with an Anglo-white man, and mostly chase WM for years? So... she ended up with a WM who was a "man in a skirt?" That's my takeaway from her situationships. Ebony K. is terrible at choosing men... ALL races of men.
dang I did not really see anything except the dude in the white dress hollering. Had my hand on the fast forward button the whole time just to skip the sound of that chainsaw voice.
