Lack of friends leaves you Very Vulnerable to settling for less in a partner because if you break up with them you are All Alone. Make more effort to make friendships, they often last longer than romantic relationships.
I totally agree! I once was in an abusive relationship and stayed much longer than I should have because I had no friends. The interesting thing is that once I ended the relationship, I was more open to hanging out and putting myself out there and suddenly I had multiple friends.
What are you talking about? I am Cassie’s friend. lol I’m just joking. I really did feel like that though. Ha! But you are right. At the same time it’s not that easy for adults to make friends is it? I’m in that boat. I have friends but we’re on texts more than meeting in person.
Cassie… I remember all the years you’ve dated and told us you what you wanted… a man who takes initiative, who plans things, and clearly you need someone clean (just common sense really). And you’re dating a guy who couldn’t bother planning his OWN birthday gift, you had to call for the massage; he takes no initiative whatsoever, his personal hygiene seems questionable and now you have to even mother him!? Tell him he’s doing good for picking up the trash, at 30+ years old?? Soon there will be stickers on the fridge when he’s done a task well. Without speaking about all the illnesses you’ve had since you’ve started dating. It’s sad to see. Open your eyes girl, don’t settle, you wanted so much more than this.😩 You say we shouldn’t judge because it’s what you choose to show online only. Well if that’s what you consciously choose to show, I can’t imagine the daily life. If you have to remind someone to bring the bricks, maybe don’t build with them.
yes, i've been rewatching her old dating videos and she always used to say she wanted a guy who would reach out first and take the initiative. i don't think dan has ever planned a single date or special occasion.
"Soon there will be stickers on the fridge when he’s done a task well" whats funnier about this comment is they literally have a chore board in their kitchen and cassie had more boxes checked off LOLOL
I think that even if Dan did take the initiative one time to plan something nice, he would do so because he was pushed to do it, and then never do it again until Cassie gets frustrated or sad about it. It'll just be a cycle. He just sounds like he's not motivated to change.
So well said, I really hope Cassie reads these and actually considers what is being said here before writing it off as Internet hate. We only have a small, tiny sliver of a glimpse into their relationship, but if Dan is as content as he is to act so as detached and unconcerned about Cassie in front of the camera, I can't imagine it's any better without a camera around.
You are settling for an immature adult... a grown man that acts like an overgrown child. He doesn't want a partner, he wants a mother and a maid. This is not a good relationship choice for you. You deserve so much more Cass. I know you want a companion, but please don't settle for less than you deserve! If he hasn't grown up by now, he never will. 😢 This is as good as he gets, and that's not good enough for a grown-up up relationship girl. Please! Get out while you can!!
For the love of god Cassie PLEASE don’t settle. The red flag for me was when you said his cats were pissing all over his previous apartment. THAT is just….I have no words for that. I just don’t think it’s a coincidence with how many weird rashes and ailments you’ve been getting lately. Just please take care of yourself.
Cassie, the problems and issues you are havjng now won't go away or even stay the same as time progresses, they only get worse. Nip it in the bud now and create the life and love that you deserve and need.
Idk, I had very similar issues with mine for a few years. They slowly improved n things are excellent now. Not everybody's relationship gets worse. Some improve. Everybody situation is different.
There's also a level of hygiene when it comes to things like taking out garbage (do you want roaches?), or showering (do you want to stink?), some of it so much common sense and not about a "compromise". SO glad and happily single! I couldn't handle raising a grown man-child.
I feel kinda sad when I hear you talk about the way you have to convince dan to help out around the house and how you have to praise him to give him incentive to keep it up. it feels like the way you would try to potty train a child or something. a grown adult should know how not to live in filth :(
@@reneebk1999 that's definitely fine if it worked for you, but it sounds like having a partner not contribute to the house upkeep is a big no-no for cassie I think
I think that, like with anything, it takes time to develop new habits. It's helpful to continue practicing those habits when you're being encouraged by someone you care about. There are learning curves when living with a partner; it takes time to learn about someone's habits, likes, dislikes, etc. It's good that they are working on the issues that could continue to be problematic or cause unhappiness later on in their relationship -- best to deal with them now before they get married. She told Dan how she felt, he knows and it's what he does with that information that matters, actions always speak louder than words.
No way, not having any friends IS a big deal Cassie!! 😱 You're right in that having a huge friend group is overrated, but personally, i'd much rather live without a partner my whole life than ever having to say goodbye to my best friend. I think platonic love could even be the purest form of love, because (unlike family) a good friend has no obligation to be close to you, nor do they have added factors like sex or romance that could bind you to that person! How did you lose contact with your all of your past friends anyway? 😰
I caught something in this and I think it MAY be helpful. "You all only know of what I'VE put on the internet". I think that sentence is telling because the comments and opinions people are forming are based on the negative things which are being shared in many vlogs. Why share details and thoughts that you know will form negative opinions. I understand its "real life" but simultaneously does the boyfriend approve of this info being shared? It may also be a barrier for friendships. I would not want to get close to anybody knowing they may share details, good and bad, of me on the internet.
54:42 no it doesn’t make sense. Just say your job. You don’t have to give us your social security number and a live stream into your bedroom when you sleep at night damn girl
I have to say, as someone who has obsessive compulsive tendencies and unrealistic expectations for cleanliness, this video made me sad for you. My partner has never been gross or dirty but he could be much more comfortable with a little mess, but instead he is always asking me what he can do to help and making sure that I’m not feeling stressed out. And that’s on top of cooking all of our meals. You deserve better than what it appears you’re getting.
That makes me so sad for you, Cassie. Where did all your friends go? You need people to hang out with and talk to other than your bf and family. Try the Bumble friends thing again, you never know!
Beyond sad you have to praise a grown adult (man) when he does what anyone with any common sense should do, if you have to do it all might as well do it by yourself
🎶 bah de bop bop bah 🎶 the I'm lovin it McDonald's theme from many many years past. She kinda sings it regularly . It strikes me as a passive aggressive thing Cass does to point out she's not thrilled about the situation.
This feels like both of you are full with problems you have to fix alone. Your couple will not heal your individual problems. Au contrary! Rebuild yourself and learn to love yourself alone. You have enough problems to solve on your own to overcharge you with your boyfriend’s problems who seems everything but a reliable man. Grow up!
Hi Cassie and Dan… I’ve been a subscriber for at least 2 years. I don’t think I’ve ever commented so I’m a silent follower. I know we only see a glimpse of y’all’s life and we can’t see all the sweet and great things that make each of you stick in the relationship. I see the comments of others saying Dan needs to do better, help more, clean etc… and I see why when it’s mentioned by you that those are issues. Love covers a lot of bad and hope can make you endure more than you want to. It’s your life and choice and no one else’s and I respect it, hence why I watch you guys. I will say this, your health is important and you’ve always had ailments but you do seem to have more of them; unsure if it’s the addition of the other cats, Dan’s job or if it’s something more along the lines of your immunity from HSV, imbalanced body chemistry or something that needs further medical investigation. I only say this out of respect but the “pimple” on Dan’s lip stayed a long time and I know personally that if that “pimple” transferred to you it’s not just a pimple. Please continue to love each other if that’s what you choose but take care of yourselves holistically as well.
Hi Cassie..enjoyed the makeup get ready. Just speaking as an older woman..it’s not so terrible if your partner does things to please their partner. Taking care of one’s self is important when you have a significant other. Getting a hair trim and running a brush through your hair isn’t a big ask.
Both my husband and I have ADHD and yes, while patience and gentleness is important, there is also a baseline level of respect that someone someone should have for their partner/someone they claim they love. My husband’s and my incentive for each other? Our love for each other, wanting to see each other happy, and wanting our relationship should work. I hope that you two have that for each other as well.
Totally agreed. My partner and I are an ADHD couple as well. We both offer eachother forgiveness and space to be imperfect, but we both also try our best to keep up with things in our home and do things for eachother.
It makes me sad that you have to praise Dan to get him to help out. But I remember when you first got with him and he still had his apartment and he didn’t want you coming over there bc his house was filthy and smelled like cat (I remember you saying that was the reason he was embarrassed to have you over). So I’m assuming that’s just how he is, not the most clean person. Hopefully you can teach him and he gets better about it. I know you shouldn’t have to but it is what it is. Your makeup and hair are looking great Cassie!
Ok. 1. PLEASE PUT A PIMPLE POPPING WARNING ON YOUR VIDEO 🤮 2. You just shut down everyone discussing your last video saying " you only know what I choose to share". 3. You don't do makeup anymore. 4. Won't do an apartment tour. 5. Won't share your job. HOW DO YOU HAVE SUBSCRIBERS?!?!?! THEY CAN'T ASK OR SAY ANYTHING!
She did open the door for people to berate him and then shut everyone down. I find what she did to him and allowing those hateful comments to be highly problematic behavior.
Also if she said her job it’s not like it’s that big a deal. “I work clothing retail” “I work at a vet’s office” like girl it’s OKAY no one is going to come steal you.
"I don´t have any friends either" and "I don´t have any friends that I would ask to be at the wedding party"... she said to encourage someone who´s struggling with the fact that she has no friends. In fact, having no close friends is one of the saddest things in life. That´s why you´re settling with this jerk of a man, otherwise you would be all alone...
Setting house rules TOGETHER helps not make it you vs them and gives everyone clear expectations and guidelines. For adhd, try systems like FlyLady's zone cleaning. Get into routines like "if you see it, pick it up asap. If you hold it, it only goes down where it belongs" and have a spot for EVERYTHING. Cant put it away if you dont know where it goes. My sister and her husband have ADHD and a hard time cleaning, so they budgeted in enough for a couple hours a week of a cleaner. They do what they can and then pay like 100 bucks a month to have someone do the stuff they don't like lol. I also have it and made daily checklists. You check the list every day and do what it says and tick it off
My 11 years relationship ended march of 2023. He didn’t respect me nor our relationship not to cheat. He deny it, but both my daughters caught him. SMH! I dont want another relationship any time soon.
The father of my kids(my first husband) denied cheating on me for years and years, always saying I was crazy for thinking he was when I would even find proof...then when our youngest was about 6 years old, he admitted he fathered a child with another woman when I was pregnant with her! So sorry you were cheated on, but good for you for getting away from him! Also it's sad that your kids caught him, but I'm glad they could let you know! 🫂
@@autumnmabis6998 yes it was sad they caught him. They told me our relationship was their last hope men weren’t all shitty ppl. They went to their homes and broke up with their boyfriends. Lmao!! They’ve been going thru a lot with them too so they said they seen me always be strong and this situation gave them the motivation to want better for them self. My girls are grown women.
@@autumnmabis6998 I’m so sorry he had a baby on you. I’m so scared to even try to date again. That was a decade of my life. Smh! I’m not as young as I used to be but I would rather be single but never lonely.
@@autumnmabis6998almost sounds like mine😮💨 makes me never want to trust another man because I feel all they do is find different ways to toy with our emotions.
I think what you said about Dan and the whole cleaning thing was very mature and fair. It seems like you communicated assertively your needs and are giving him time to adjust. It’s important to maintain that boundary and give you and him a time limit and if you don’t see any real changes then that’s when you have to decide what you want to do.
OK my other comment is about relationships. I remember our first year of marriage. Such a doozy! We were 29 and 30 when we married. He moved into my townhouse and I had things the way I liked to have them, did things the way I liked to do them, etc. And he reorganized that first week and cleaned. I learned I am a control freak. We had to learn how to balance. But we were married. I think Dan needs his own place. I know that conversation won’t be fun. It’s not the end of the world if he moves out. You love him so the best move is for him to move out. You are right. We can only change ourselves.
My friends are the ones I made as a kid- high school and the ones I made when joining the workforce after college. I don’t have any friends really from the college years. It takes effort to keep them on my part and their parts. If it were solely up to me, I would have significantly less friends because I am introverted and prefer to be home all the time. But, when I branch out and actually make plans, or I accept an invitation, I am always happier that I did. But, I do need my alone time as well.
Courthouse marriage is the best honestly, because I'm not one for long drawn out weddings. Like no matter how much I love the person I think the wedding is boring, the reception is usually pretty okay though. Basically I think crowds of people are too much for me 😂😂
Oh my goodness and I was raised as a Catholic, let me tell you the wedding itself is sooooooo long 😳 why, I have no idea. Good grief just let's say I do and dip. 😂
When my boyfriend moved in with me, he was very messy, and I'm a neat freak as well. I asked him to help me clean up, and he didn't hesitate he's been helping me since. We've been going strong for three years now.
It can be very hard for your partner to change if that's already a part of them no matter how much you nag or tell them. Either you both establish a compromise or just accept it. But once accepted, it can either get better or more often get worse. If your partner cares for you, they will make the move to change at their own pace, at least there is progress.
I used to suffer from really bad acne. My dermatologist recommended a brand called vanicream which is super basic and gentle for facewash & moisturizer & it helped me quite a bit might be worth a try. I think I was always reacting to either fragrance or other additives in other products.
People refuse to change their eating habits and their food addictions to clean their skin when 90% of the time that would fix the problem. They use chemicals so they won't have to change
Why? Her videos all get 10,000+ views. That's 10,000+ eyes on a product and all the company has to do is pay for shipping. Cheapest marketing there is for companies.
Why would you move in with someone so quickly that you barely know who he really is, and when he allowed his home to be so filthy and DISGUSTING he didnt even want to have you over??? Talk about entitlement!!! To be on a dating app trying to find a woman when you make so little effort you dont even have anywhere to bring her. Priorities!!
I wish I had done a courthouse wedding. I didn't realize it at the time, but I only did the big wedding to appease the reactions I got asking about the wedding when we got engaged. We hated being the center of attention. It was a beautiful day and we were told by many of our guests that it was the best wedding they've been to so that's pretty cool, but that day definitely wasn't for us. I got all bent out of shape over even bridal party numbers and in hindsight it feels like I worried for nothing because we don't even display the bridal party pictures since we don't even really talk to over half of them anymore. To ANYONE reading this, plan your wedding for you and your partner, nobody else. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to do it, as long as the love is there.
Living habits can change. My husband was bad about dishes and a few other things and once I voiced how I was feeling about our living space he understood and has worked really hard to keep up with. Sometimes I have to give reminders but I rather give him a reminder than be quiet and be upset about dishes in the sink.
I think acts of service are my love language...well I like to help/buy/give things to people, but I love when someone just does things for me. I think you are probably the same Cassie, in that you would/do appreciate Dan putting in the effort.
55:34 have you ever considering doing Bumble BFF to find new friends? I’ve been considering it to make some friends that fit in with this stage of my life, and it would be cool to hear your experience with it too! You could do videos like you used to do with dates but with platonic friendship meetups instead! Edit: kept listening and you have tried it! I still suggest giving it another shot! Maybe check out some Meetup groups in your area? I’ve been to one or two that were fun and you could take Dan along to those! Partially recommending this because I miss the dating vids and obviously you can’t do them anymore, but also I think finding new friends would be good for both of us lol
Throwing in my two cents but there's lots of helpful tips and motivation stuff to help those that want to clean more or get better with cleaning. I followed Clutterbug for years and she's done tons of cleaning/organizing vids, even some about ADHD because she has it. Like simple stuff like, literally set a 5 min timer and do anything in that room - okay put that away and wipe counter, etc. Put dishes in the dishwasher, or just put them in the sink and let them soak - it's not totally done but it's out of the way and can kickstart the motivation to do more. Maybe there's little easy things like that which can help both of you
I couldn't do clutterbug it was a ton of clutter in the form of email prompts. For me the best trick to doing things is I set a kitchen timer for 10 minutes and just do whatever cleaning I can for that time. Reset the timer for 10 minutes of reward. Toggle between the work and reward.
@@remainingembers oh I'm thinking of the fly lady type of cleaning method. It's horrible and nagging on the amount of prompts you would get if you sign up for that.
OK I realize I’ve just left two messages but my third is I had to search for you because my RU-vid is not showing me the people I usually follow. I was so happy to see you. I like your Vlogs. I hope you are enjoying your job as well. I miss seeing your mom. I think you have unlocked another option: cleaning videos. I think that’s probably why my RU-vid is not showing me my beauty gurus. I have fallen in the cleaning video rabbit hole. I am now vehicle detailing.
I like how your natural makeup look turned out. Hope you and Dan have a great Valentines day! Hope you both are doing well. I just heard you mention you were considering to do a courthouse wedding please don't. My son did that and I was there it was like going to the dmv. I say maybe do a small backyard wedding at your mom's and have food and drinks there afterwards. Its cheap and small and cozy. Much better than courthouse.
hey Cassie - I'm sure most of the people commenting here are well meaning but as someone who has been in a nearly 20 year relationship, I know that thing aren't as simple as you don't do this, goodbye! You both bring your own baggage into the relationship and if lucky, you end up growing together and hopefully healing childhood traumas and bad habits together. I find the key is both being open to evolving and I always push for all people to go to therapy. My husband realised so much more that had been living inside him after going and became a much more mindful and considerate person since, and I hope that Dan can meet you at that place too so you can just worry about making yourself full and happy.
I’ve been with a Scorpio for 27 years , had two Scorpio step parents , and an ex that’s a Scorpio , alongside of countless male Scorpio friends . They are manipulative and they don’t help on purpose. If They do it’s to breadcrumb you . That’s my experience . They like to sneak diss you too. Make you feel bad about yourself in a very covert way , so you don’t even realize they’re doing that ! I seen Dan do it when you tried on clothes . Mark my words . They also tend to be pretty mentally and emotionally abusive , usually in a covert manner . I’m not saying this to be ugly or troll . It’s just the truth in my experience and I e had a lot of experience with scorpios . They also punish you by withholding affection and attention , especially with video games . Also they want praise and worship . A simple compliment isn’t enough for them . They are selfish. Also it’s sad when you have to tell a grown man to help ! They know how to help they just don’t want to . It’s a form of abuse and neglect. Also they’re not emotionally supportive at all . So be prepared to go through everything alone even with them sitting right next to you . Tell me I’m wrong , I will wait … it’s awful and sad . 8:35
I'm a Scorpio, with many faults. But none that you describe. I'm not manipulative or sneaky. If I'm unhappy you will know. I've never ever been described as passive aggressive. My ex is a Scorpio and he is a great guy. While I have fun with astrology, I can't imagine demonizing a group of people because they were born in November. I would never date Dan, but it's not because of his birthday.
my god, astrology is not a sound basis to judge anyone. clearly the guy has faults already you can choose to comment on, but you choose to base your judgment on some extremely iffy pseudoscience.
Not sure what kind of Scorpios you've unfortunately met, my Fiancé is a Scorpio and he's the opposite of what you described a Scorpio is ❤️Also, way to generalize people with distinct personalities just by their horoscope signs.
@@Jessica-rf7lv both my brother and dad are Scorpio. I agree with you, my experience is Scorpios have a sting and you don't want to mess with or manipulate them because the wrath of facing your own accountability for your own actions is a lot. Scorpios sting you if you hurt them. My brother is a good guy, he's smart and quick witted. My dad I'm estranged from he has his issues and lacks emotional intelligence
Hi Cassie- When someone asked you about the 10-year-olds I said oh my gosh someone who doesn’t know! I can’t tell you how much that tickled me. Good for you, but at the same time I do want you to weigh in because I’d like to know what you would do if you worked at Sephora. These kids are going in there and destroying the drunk elephant display in particular. More recently they started doing things like blackface in the NARS foundation aisle. Sephora does nothing but then their employees are not encouraged to intervene. maybe the bad publicity is still publicity in their eyes. One Vlogger said she got pushed aside by these little munchkins. I figured if somebody tried to do that, I would let them know that’s not how we behave is this happy place. lol oh, and say it in a cultured voice, like Heddy from ghosts.
Glad to see you back and feeling better physically and mentally ❤ My fiancé is one who doesn’t see the point in making the bed, dishes before bed, or cleaning before guests. He’s not a slob by any means but we had different upbringings and it shows in some areas. Not all bad of course. I finally just said once that it matters to me and makes me feel better that the bed is made, or at least straightened up, and since then he’s done it a few times just to make me happy. We typically just sleep with a blanket so it’s not even an issue most of the time lol
Smaller friends circle means you are more confident and content with who you are. Best friends are always going to be your parents/family/sibling + partner. For me that’s just enough.
I’m here for the makeup and yes I like to de-pot my makeup as well I have such hooded eyes tho and if only if only I can use the beautiful colours of those eyeshadow pallets of yours gosh they are so gorgeous! And I will not say ‘nuffin’about your relationship ❤ I have my own and that is all I am gunna say about that lol Even I use makeup when I do go see my relatives Cause one of my cousins are’too perfect’lol Anyways be yourself Cassie and don’t leave us like so many RU-vid folks have over the years ❤❤❤❤
