Living with Borderline Personality Disorder | Claire Benedict | TEDxHopeCollege 

I think the thing that sucks the most about living with this is the combination of stigma, lack of understanding, and the fact that many of us present as relatively normal and functional from the outside. People come into our lives with expectations for us to act and process things differently than we are able to do, and then, upon realizing that we are complex and extremely neurodivergent, push us away hard. I get this sense of disgust from people when they realize I have a personality disorder. Like they treat me as an equal only when judging or rejecting me, but treat me as less than them in other situations. I end up feeling utterly invalid as well as ashamed for who I am, with very little understanding or support from peers. This contrasts with things like autism spectrum disorder, which has gained a lot of mainstream coverage and acceptance. Autistic people can band together and find solidarity with others. People with borderline are taught to resent and distrust themselves and others like them. We are often misdiagnosed and mistreated. We are capable of such love and creativity and passion when given patience and a stable environment in which to thrive and build healthy, sustainable self-care habits, but when thrust into the cruel world of productivity over people, we will fail again and again and again, wondering what's wrong with us and why we are never enough. It is an extremely isolating and confusing disorder. It's almost like hope that I could be different is dangled in front of me by the expectations and misplaced belief of others that my issue is with willpower or perspective, not a neurological defect. And every time I prove through my failures that I am not different, that I'm just a person living with mental illness, it is world-shattering. I would trade everything that makes me "me" for boring, unremarkable normalcy in a heartbeat. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Wow..i was diagnosed about 3 months ago , but i knew something was different for years. The diagnosis was a relief but still handling the illness is tough. Thanks for explaining how we feel

I can totally feel the pain in her voice, but she is as strong, brave woman to be there standing up in front of that crowd and telling her personal journey. I wish I have the courage to do that but it’s still difficult for me to accept this Borderline diagnosis.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you living with BPD but I truly admire that youve decided to speak out so that you may help others. I really liked the part where you said show kindness instead of anger. Wishing you all the best in your life journey!

Not even 100k views yet. When will people start taking it more seriously? I was diagnosed two years ago and I've been rejected by two providers. Thank you for this. ❤

Idk...but this is something like i've currently experience ...rush of emotions that i'm not able to handle anymore...

I am 24 - was diagnosed at 23 and live felt like a fever dream ever since. Sure, it was good to finally give it a name. But the journey of healing is hard.

BPD ruined my life, as a man it takes on a whole new meaning, BPD for me means confusion about everyone and everything including myself which is expressed as sadness and anger, i won't be around much longer, hope the next life is better than this

Awesome Speech Claire. Beautifully and Perfectly explained. Your intro did its job. CATCH MY ATTENTION. I recently joined ToastMasters and I'm about to write my 4th speech and I chose to speak about My struggles with BPD, then I came across your video. Bless You Claire for sharing the truth and being vulnerable. Well done! You are a Hero for standing up on that stage and sharing. 💙💯🙌

Thank u, Claire. U are so beautiful. Listening to ure TEDtalk makes the world a better place💚

Yes. At 62, after 50+ years of this. It's finally good to give it a name

It’s exhausting literally exhausting

Too bad there isn't french subtitles. Understanding every word is important to learn from this video.

I am diagnosed with BPD! I am 22 years old, all I feel right now is exhausted,hurt and suicidal!!it's getting so hard for me to handle it.

Written like a poet.

You are a brave, powerful person.

You are an inspiration - you are so brave and I thank you for being you 🫶🏽

Not trying to be insensitive towards my BPD wife but it's hard loving someone that spent an entire year making false allegations against me. She had me excommunicated from our church and she had charges put against me. I filed for divorce because of her emotional abuse and now she's trying to alienate me from our children making false claims of child abuse. The troubling part is that she is so believable. Those that know both of us really well don't believe her at all. The problem is, those that don't know me well, the church, the police, the judge, and the lawyers, cater to her victim story and they are the ones that can/have changed my life forever. I've almost lost my job, I've had to pay out $15K in legal fees, and I haven't seen my children but four times in four months.

Thank you for sharing your story..

Ive just been diagnosed with BPD 😢

Too bad insurance hardly covers DBT outpatient therapy

Dated one. Several times. It was… impossible.

❤

i hope everyone is sleeping

Can't hear anything. Sick of it!! So frustrated!!!

Inveterate manipulators insensitive to the pain they cause in others...its not a diagonosis it's a manipulative pattern of behavior.

Run, they are predators, usually BPD/NPD...just run away

Try to get a sympathy while destroying your loved ones? Interesting ! 👹👺

I’m glad there’s help for borderlines. However, they should never be in relationships. They are extremely dangerous people

Was diagnosed after an overdose at 18, 27 now, dependant on drugs, lost everyone and everything. Took all this for me to finally start learning about who I am.

Man the opposite action skill must be exhausting. Everytime you are about to react you have to stop and do the opposite. I think I will give it a try.

“ I am borderline because I am extremes between borders that threshold” That is exquisitely beautiful.

My girlfriend has been diagnosed with BPD. We've been dating almost 6 months and the first roughly 2-3 months were just pure bliss. In the last few months, we have been dealing with quite a few issues. I'm sure it's pretty normal to start seeing issues, but her BPD makes it much harder to love her since she pushes me away whenever her mood is down. I just want to love her, but whenever she most needs tender love, I can't give it to her. Can anyone help?

It could be that our lived experience with emotional extremes moulds our brains to have an outsized influence on others' emotions. Our next words often carry energy in others because they were seared first into our own brains in our frequent stormy weather. No doubt there are those who are manipulative on purpose to fill the hole in our hearts, but oftentimes the most deeply trodden path is the one that escapes our lips. We have been made this way by existing at all. It doesn't surprise me we kill ourselves so often. It is that experience of manipulation that we ourselves cannot escape.

Thanks Claire! I am borderline too ❤

The descriptions and diagnoses are as varied and unique as that of synthesesia , She basically said nothing

Brown Lisa Hall Jennifer Wilson Edward

Why are some Ted Talks full of noise. So sad 😥

But I am somehow heal 😊

❤Some people are afraid of borderline personalities bc of the psychopathy some display. However, if that is the case, I'd say they're not borderline. They're psychopathic w borderline traits. If this distinction is made then we might stop the discrimination. Borderline perhaps should not be classified as a cluster B at all. Just wondering about that. Thank you for your fine presentation!