@@sjordan7085 the first nicht i attenderen Tosca with Netrebko singing. I got goosebumps when she sangria the aria "visi d'arte , visi d'amore" with such tenderness
I live alone in my van and travel, and always get asked "aren't you lonely?" Not a bit! I love my own company - I can do what I want, when I want; eat what I want; go where where I want, and leave when I'm ready. As a fellow introvert, I have way too many conversations going on in my head to ever get lonely 😆
My sixtieth birthday present to me was a set of free weights. Using them faithfully is one reason I'm still doing well in my late eighties. This was a great move for me.
Good to know. I have been procrastinating at doing this because I have never enjoyed going to a gym. I will do hard work ie gardening, walking up hills, whatever furniture moving I must do, but I just find weights so boring and monotonous 🙄
Couple of times a week, about 20-30 minutes. You can do this. I never set foot in a gym, need my own pace and surroundings. I did get good advice about form when I started, from trainer friends. Every task is easier when you're stronger.
I remember the first time I went to a movie by myself after my husband passed. It was a movie I really wanted to see and could not get anyone to go..So I just went. And I ordered a popcorn and pop( my husband never wanted to pay extra for popcorn) I loved it. I'm an extra vert. I love people, but I also have learned to love myself and I actually enjoy being alone. I think I'm nailing it!
Congratulations on your upcoming 60th Birthday! I will be 70 this year and I have been doing the solo life since I was 21 years old when my parents died. I went to college I worked at the same job for 34 years, bought my own home and my own cars. Who the Hell needs a man anyway? Here’s to the solo life and enjoy! Oh I have traveled alone and enjoy celebrating the holidays in my own home alone.❤️
After my divorce I went to a huge Dog Show in Chilliwack.I decided I had to leave and was doing so when I thought WHY SHOULD I LEAVE NOW ? So I stayed and was thrilled. No one saying this so boring lets GO ! I stay as long as I.want.
I want to add walking alone because that way, i really appreciate my surroundings. With a companion i tend to focus so much on the conversation i see nothing and might as well be in a room
I recently met a friend in my condo complex who likes to walk all the time. I enjoy socializing and her company, but sometimes I miss just the zen/meditative solo walks.
I’m married but live much like a solo life, due to a spouse that is unwilling to be available for me…..I’ve been going to movies, concerts, etc, etc, alone for years. 😊
TY! I am just like you, except 74yrs old. I do everything, but keep telling myself to go SLOWLY. Doesn't matter how long the job takes! Putting up rails and other senior friendly equipment NOW, preparing for future. Take 2 sessions over 2 days now to mow lawn. I complain about how difficult this house is and then you inspire me. Don't like alternative choices so stay grateful! Today rebuilding front steps!
I am age 75 and caregiver for my husband. Bladder Cancer. For 5 years on this ‘journey’ now I’m doing it all. Last 3 days took 54 screws out of old rotted picnic table. Now disassembled. Boards will be discarded. Base is a plastic and I’ll donate this. Someone else can build a table. He now has more walking room on patio to get around. Limited exercise, but it will help him. We will be married 56 years this coming August. In our marriage vows, I took out the word ‘obey’. 1968. Obedience belongs to God, I told the minister. Not to spousal man. Needless to say, the minister’s jaw dropped! Instead I wrote: love, honor, and ‘agree to disagree’. I also tell all new friendships this: we must ‘agree to disagree’ at times. No argument is worth ruining a friendship (or marriage). I was 18 going to summer university classes after high school graduation when we met. He was 23 out of Viet Nam War. After 2 dates he proposed. I said ‘no’. I wanted my degree. We married 14 months later. I did get the undergrad degree. And MBA. He told me, when he proposed, that I was the most focused person he had ever met. He said that I knew precisely what I was doing. And he wanted ‘that’. We ‘obey’ God’s law; obey the rule of law in our country. Children obey their parents. Military obey commands from superiors to get military functions completed. But must one spouse obey the other. I say ‘no’. We don’t live in the 14th century. Words have intention. Power. Saying ‘no’ sets boundaries. Saying ‘yes’ can open doors to a different path. We all are solo at the end of life. Only one goes through that portal called ‘death’. The rest are left behind to continue for their remaining journey. So in essence, we ALL are solo. As children, we partner with parents, extended family, then teachers. Later it can be with one person. And always we have friendships to some degree. This phrase means: I accept what you said as ‘your logic and personal truth’. I have my own. Let us recognize each other’s differences. You don’t have to ‘buy into’ my belief system. I don’t have to ‘buy into’ yours. Move forward to the next topic. If the other person keeps bringing it up, this is when I initiate my ‘exit strategy’. They are trying to persuade me to be like them, agree with them. They do not recognize me. No. I am me. I don’t have to agree. I don’t have to justify who I am. And neither does anyone else. I grew out of getting permission by age 10. At that point, I was in negotiating tactics. How did I learn this? From my father. He raised me. Little children soak up a lot of what goes on. I was ‘that’ little girl. Stalwart
1) Go to the movies alone, art galleries 2) You’re super creative 3) You feel the freedom to walk around your house naked 4) You feel safe and secure in your home. You know your house noises. 5) You decline invitations when you want. No explanation necessary 6) You haven’t asked anyone for help with home repairs in 6 months. 7) You have one or more gadgets you have installed yourself. 8) You just booked a solo trip. 9) You don’t feel lonely alone. 10) You are confident.
Some of these are ridiculous. We all need help with home repairs at times. We're not all plumbers and HVAC specialists. I'd love to see her clear the very deep clog I had in my sink without a plumber's help, that they had to go in deep underground with a special machine to clear. It sounds like she must be pretty new at this if she hasn't ever experienced something like this, as this happens to homeowners all the time and we all need to have specialists to help us out. The sure way to NOT be successful solo is to think you can do everything alone. It really is OK to ask for help and it doesn't make you any less "solo".
@@TracyTidewater41009 The home repairs thing is ridiculous and unrealistic. She must not have lived alone for very long. Even married people sometimes need help with home repairs. She has a lot to learn.
Even before my husband died, I went to movies alone whenever I thought it would be something he wouldn’t care to see. I was always the one putting things together because he refused to read the instructions. I once moved a heavy organ from inside my home to the garage using an old blanket. A neighbor saw it in the garage and asked if he could have it. He and his son grabbed it and struggled to take it away. I grew up in a small home with six siblings, and I’ve treasured alone time ever since.
When I go out alone, I love being able to do exactly what I want spontaneously, not coordinating with anyone else. If I want to go left, I go left. Right, right.
Believe it or not, you can be an introvert and married. My husband and I like a lot of the same things, and we are both introverts. We spend a lot of time separate ( he is a night owl and I'm a morning person) and we respect each other's space. He worked second shift and I always worked 9-5. We've been married 40 years... I love my own company. Because of that, people know when I choose to be with them, I truly want to.😊
This sounds ideal and the sort of relationship I'm looking for. No misunderstandings and looking into it deeper than simply wanting some alone time which has always happened in past relationships, my partner thinking I don't like them, but we just had different needs, they wanted to be with me constantly, I needed to have alone time. Sounds like you found your perfect match in that way
I’ll add: 1) efficient 2) effective 3) focused 4) discernment 5) no need for ‘permission’ to be granted to you (from someone else) to do something. These qualities I recognize in you. Stalwart
@@my_warm_Africa Congratulations on your new channel! Yes, Jen is inspiring! It’s fun to begin a new venture! I just subscribed to your channel. Love the African fabric prints! Best Regards, Stalwart
I am 77 and a caregiver to my 83 year old husband who just sits and watches tv all day and half the night. To me it’s like I am living alone but I don’t mind it. I do many things to keep me busy and being an introvert enjoy cooking, canning, reading and projects around our home excluding watch your videos. The content of your videos can be for solo or individuals enjoying alone time.
I use magic moving sliders instead of a blanket. That way you can push and not pull. I have fixed things on my own for years but I finally was defeated by an IKEA box shelf. It went to the dump. 😂😂
I lived as the single adult with my kids for 5 years when my ex moved out and the most empowering part was learning home maintenance. RU-vid videos helped me so much! I installed a faucet, wired a ceiling light, replaced hinges…. Things I would have never tried before! Grateful for that time in my life that stretched my idea of what I could do! 💪💪
A friend visited for a few days. As we drove around we came across salmon leaping. I was overwhelmed as I had visited these falls many times and this was the first time experiencing this wonderful sight. I parked up then along with many went closer to watch. After ten minutes my friend was ready to leave. I could have stayed hours but my friends response to my wanting to stay longer was but we've seen it. It was at this point when I once again knew why I chose to live alone. We drove back to my place and though years have passed I have never seen the salmon again. If I do I will go alone .
Once went to outlet store with someone I knew, and hour after she dragged me around her likes, hard ready to explode,,never, ever again, I am enough forusrlf thankfully
I am 66yo and have been living alone for many years, after raising my sons. Even when I became a single parent, my sons were used to me moving furniture using their skateboard, or removalist’s hessian sacks. In one home, we inherited a lot of rocks, and the boys rolled them into place to form garden beds. For a woman, being solo, provides an opportunity to develop her masculine-side…..the energy of survival and coping/solving physical tasks. Some might think ‘too independent’, but I think becoming a whole person.
I’d most likely say can’t make it this time but maybe best time and thanks for the invite. Learning to ditch the word sorry. Too many years being unnecessarily sorry.
Easy to snag an excellent single seat at a concert or show. I’ve gotten several first or 2nd row seats, even at last minute. The thrill of experiencing Michael Flatley dance right in front of my face. Walked into NYC box office empty handed, got last free seat in the house, right up front saw my idol right before he retired.
Went on a 7 day Caribbean cruise by myself, and felt so empowered and enjoyed myself immensely! People at dinner that I ended up sitting with at tables of six or eight were always flabbergasted that I traveled alone. One woman told me on her way out after sitting with her husband, who didn’t say a word to her through an entire dinner, whispered to me… I wish I had your gumption!
You can be in a relationship and still be more lonely than if you were single... You're taking care of you, and that's the most important thing in the world! Keep killing it!
I love this video. I’m a sigma INFJ. My mother raised me to be independent always telling me to never get married. When I see children being raised with sexist stereotypes so they’ll be codependent (marriage material), I’m always like wtf? What a horrible thing to do to a person. I’ve always enjoyed exploring the world on my own, even as a young child. My favorite thing to do as a kid was to get lost. I could stay lost all day. Before I knew NYC, I got lost in Brooklyn and wow, that was super interesting. I lived in many different cities in the USA and when I got bored exploring the U.S., I headed overseas. The world is full of amazing people, places and things to discover. I’m 61 and still enjoying living independently and everything life has to offer. No problems at all being single, in fact, I am very happy and surely experiencing far less problems than if I was in a relationship. 😆 Living naked and single in the Philippines. 😂
I have lived by myself when i moced out for collège at the age of 19, including living abroad. Most rewarding experience. It did have installing furniture, going alone to movies, dinners, museums and parties. Being alone is cool!
I’ve almost always lived alone. In my 20s I worked 2 jobs so I could afford rent without a roommate. I retired at 58 and now, at 61, I just returned from a 2.5 month road trip, living in my FJ Cruiser that I converted to a micro camper. I can’t imagine any other life would be so wonderful.
I am 60 and have been fighting the urge to go to a weekend senior women’s van life meetup in my Honda Pilot - would love tips on how you were able to stay comfortably in an FJ Cruiser as a 60-something! I am somewhat of a minimalist, but if I could actually sleep in my car for even a night - thinking of just doing it in my driveway to see how it goes! What kind of “bed” do you have in your Cruiser?
@@melanieg284don’t fight it, enjoy it! I’m going to rebuild my vehicle to make it more comfortable for evenings before bed, after learning that being stuck inside during endless rain is no fun, but sleeping in it has never been a problem. I bought a 3-inch thick memory foam sleeping pad that’s on a plywood base. I’m on the smaller side, which might make a difference, but I don’t often feel the plywood under the mattress. It’s 24 inches wide x 70 inches long. I make it up like a normal bed and use a normal bed pillow. My goal with my next rendition it looks lower the bed and make the storage all accessible from inside the vehicle. As I have it now, I need to open the back to access many things. No fun in the rain! Lowering the bed from its current position near the roof will make it usable as a couch. I use a 1000 Jackery for power and have solar panels for it for sunny days if I don’t want to drive all day. I need it to power a refrigerator. I’m also planning to look for a smaller fridge.
I remember a snow storm coming right during rush hour. It would have taken me 3 hours to get home - so I went to the movies instead and drove home well after rush hour and after the snow plows cleaned the streets. LOVED it! It felt like playing hookie and so much better than sitting in the car in a snow storm. Thus began my love affair with going to movies alone. 🙂
I've always been by myself so it feels most natural to me. I would freak out if I heard a key in the door, or someone walking down the hall, or another voice in the house. I love the silent calm in my home and the noise I can make when I want to. I don't need to tiptoe around so as not to disturb someone else, nor do I feel compelled to make conversation or explain my actions.
Married for many years and I solo travel sometimes. There are people who just don’t understand and I don’t care anymore. There’s nothing like it! Enjoying your videos -
"i don't disrespect my friends and family by making excuses" for not attending this or that - i love how you put that. as i'm being my own version of silver&solo, i feel the need to give justification for not being available for socially normative stuff. no more. excuses really do disrespect - friends/family and me.
Thank you! I love doing things alone. People in my life keep thinking something is wrong with me. I see so many people have to take the whole adult family with them to do any task.
I’m a “Solo” again in my 60’s. By choice. I love the peace and self reliance. I’m new to your channel, and I’m so impressed with your life lessons, so I’ve subscribed. Can’t wait to go back and watch your previous shows. Thank you!
I scored 9/10. I love the Solo life. Next year, will be a special Birthday year for me too. I am planning on traveling to an area, I haven't been to yet. It will be a camping trip with my 50 lb dog as my companion. Like you, I don't care with other people think.
Oh I so much fully appreciate attending art galleries, museums and performances on your own. But I must say I recently met a few people through a course who share similar interests. Going to these places with friends with similar interests is soooo much fun, it’s a joy and a gift to have friends with similar interests.
What is hard is being an introvert married to an extrovert. Some people do that thinking they're completing themselves. Wrong. My former husband would ridicule me repeatedly for being off in my own head (which is one of the reasons he's my former husband). Fortunately my forever husband and I are so on the same track we repeatedly finish each other's sentences. After 21 years he is still the person I most want to have a conversation with. He's still interesting, and has interesting things to say. But we spend hours every day working on our own projects or reading or off doing things by ourselves. Being similar personalities is crucial, as is allowing the other person to be different - if that makes sense..
thank you so much for making me realise that I'm actually at the top of Maslow's pyramid - I craft constantly and sometimes (well most times) I just want to go home from wherever I am and craft on whatever project I'm into at that moment.....(I always had a slightly guilty feeling before as though crafting was only something you could do when you'd done everything else) (mother's influence still hovers even though I'm 77 yrs old..) So Mother, wherever you are It's Self Actualisation and now I can feel a piece of embroidery work coming on....
I have lived alone for most of my life and love it. I can't imagine having to live with someone. For my 65th birthday next April I am flying from Vancouver Island to Halifax and taking trains back to Vancouver...Solo! With overnight stays in Halifax, Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver.
My absolute favorite thing to do is to go see live music alone. As you pointed out, when you only need one seat you can get a great one! I have seen some of the top singer-songwriters and rock bands from like the fifth row because I only needed one seat! 😆
I had a wonderful solo holiday in northern France for my 50th. Thoroughly enjoyed myself - luxury hotel room to myself and no compromises! My dining partner was a good book! 😄
Good on you Jen, I was great as a solo for a long time - and now with a partner, we are both good together and solo. Never thought I'd find someone like that, but it was a nice surprise.
I love doing things alone! My ex used to make everything such an ordeal or get into verbal altercations with strangers around us. I dreaded going out to dinner or the movies. It’s so much more pleasant now. :)
I have also always gone to movies alone since I was in college in 1960. I love it. I get so much more from the film plus if I don’t like the movie, I can leave.
I lived on my own for a decade in a different state from all my family. I learned how to change a bike tire, repair garbage disposal, fix vacuum, and on and on.. I'm so glad I had this opportunity to figure out that everything is figureoutable and to know truly know myself at a young age as opposed to getting divorced or widowed in my 50 or 60's never having been on my own before
I remember the first movie I saw alone. I was working a retail job I hated that didn't give me enough work-life balance. I'd never get the schedule in advance so you couldn't plan anything. I was leaving my chiropractic appointment and had 3 hours before work. I saw a matinee then went to work. I'm in my 30s and watch this channel. Good content
You speak right from my heart. While I am older than you now, I still remember these single adventures the moment I became a widow with 54. And with that, I also became an elder orphan because of my choice where to live. You put a smile in my heart.
I think part of what you’re getting at is you learn to figure things out for yourself. Something comes up, there’s no paralysis, just an “okay, does this need fixing and how do I figure it out”. Also the connections outside the home are important, not taken for granted, and cared for - even though I’ve chosen solo I also want some social.
I lost hubs, my best friend to brain cancer. I am beginning to find my own way. I am also an introvert and enjoy being home and working in my garden. I enjoy going to the gym, I am a swimmer. My son did set up a surveillance system for me. It makes him feel better! You are still a baby , Approaching 75 here.
Dude, the first movie I ever saw alone was also Silence of the Lambs, in college. It was so memorable. But in my case the other kids at the student union laughed at all the gory bits and cheered Lecter on, ironically. So fun!
I have always enjoyed travelling alone, but 2 years ago a friend and I did a 10-day coach tour. We shared the motel rooms and spent all our time together. She didn't sleep well, went to the bathroom 2-3 times a night, had a hacking cough, wasn't fit enough to participate in any of the extra-curricular activities and I'd have felt disloyal if I'd gone without her. I wasn't able to socialise much with the rest of the group because she stuck to me like glue. Never again. I've got 2 coach trips planned for 2025, and I'll be going alone!!!!
I like the individual freedom that you exemplify in your videos. I had a relative once tell me that I should pursue the lower levels of Maslow's triangle before taking on the higher levels. She in essence was using Maslow's triangle to shame me and keep me in my place. I guess I am wary and my understanding is that Maslow's ideas while well intentioned are not set in stone. People can shift in and out of levels. I believe that Maslow himself would probably not want to thwart any individual's personal path or growth.
Agree with everything you said. I’ve been on many epic trips, most memorable IMO was to Antartica. I own a small travel trailer and have made many solo trips touring the US (all 49 states), did a caravan guided tour of Alaska last year, including Alberta, BC and Yukon. Planning a trip next to tour the Eastern provinces.
In Nov 2012, I went on a Caravan guided tour to Panama and got to watch the LOCKS operate from on land and on a boat going through them. I loved the “adult field trip” feel. Had plenty of solo relaxing time also. Perhaps, I’ll go to Alaska with them soon.
Yes I 60 was a big number for me also but now I’m 73 so time goes by fast I have my health and I try to keep walking and doing what I can. I don’t wanna end up with somebody having to take care of me I meant to say how old I was before, have a good trip again❤
You hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about confidence. I would absolutely love to be as self-sufficient as you someday, but in the meantime confidence is a major struggle for me. Past experiences have filled me with so much self-doubt that it's going to take some time and effort for me to get to a place where I feel confident enough to give this a try. I have at least gone to movies and eaten out at restaurants on my own, so I can claim to have done that much.
I do a lot of things alone (travel, music events, hiking, classes, etc.) as I can go where I want, learn at my own pace, talk to whom I wish, or not talk and just observe. Solitude is great for working on creative projects.
I like to do everything on my own. I travel solo twice a year and it's the most special feeling. I feel alive and I always have a wonderful time. I do chat with the locals and the tourists so I'm not always completely alone. I've travelled with a friend a couple of times too but I had to compromise I didn't like that. I also live alone and I couldn't live with a woman now I've done it in the past and it didn't work. It's just me and my dog that's the way I like it.
Ma'am, i am so glad i found your channel. Thank you for existing, thank you for making this channel, thank you for all of your wisdom. Bless you, and stay blessed. 💕
I’m 38 and I have been going to the movies and restaurants alone for years. I’m am only child and I thrive doing things alone and on my OWN TIME!! Next I hope to go on a solo trip with me and my dog 🙂
I feel like I am talking through you. I have same thoughts. Listening from you is so relaxing and now i feel like I am not the only one who thinks this way. After listening to you I get my confidence. So now I know for sure that it is ok to live alone, going to the restaurant alone, walking alone. I am 64. I have lived alone all my life. I like people but not all the times.
I went to the cinema on my own for the first time recently. I was nervous but then had a great time watching a movie that I was interested in but my husband was not. Will certainly be doing that again!!
I think I was lonelier when I was married. I enjoy my own company and also enjoy occasionally doing things with friends or my Dad who is still independent at 90.
Saying no to social gatherings. This resonates with me so much. As an introvert, there is often a high cost in energy when I say yes. As I get older, I find it takes more time than it used to for me to recover. So, I'm learning to be more comfortable saying no but also keeping in touch with friends I value. Love this video, you help me feel more "normal" and less alone in my need to be alone. : )
Holy crap! I'm nailing it! 🙌 Thank you for the encouragement! My one exception might be the household repair thing... isn't it OK to hire someone to do something I just don't want to DIY, even if I could? I think making that decision for myself (if I know I can afford it) should count. Also doing the Ikea thing -- nope. I buy readymade.
I used to be lonely when i was solo since i was 18. I made lots of bad decisions on relationships that left me lonlier and sad. Ive been alone more un my life than with someone. Ive learned how to accept myself and i have good friendss. I have gone on my vacations sole, had a horse transport business solo, now living on my family farm solo, take care of my horses solo. I too qalk around the house nude too. 😂 So ive learned to enbrace soli and im not lonely or afraid. 🐴🐕
I was on only child for 11 years, living on a farm & attending a one room elementary school. There were 5 of us in my graduating class. I am quite comfortable alone. I read an article on how unique it is that some people have the "confidence" to eat in a restaurant alone.! I don't get it. When I want to be with people, I do so, but I enjoy my own company. Solitude is very peaceful & zen.
I was out of town on a business trip when I went to Apocalypse that had a line way longer than I’d even before. I got in as they asked for solos that wanted a seat pretty far up front. The location wasn’t my favorite but I was delighted to get in. I’ve done that at amusement park roller coasters too - lots of jumping the line for odd counts. Now married we drive other nuts in museums as we go where we each have interests often not within sight of each other. My favorite suspicious noise was the clomping on the wrap around porch around 9 pm. Turns out it was deer. One Christmas, as a solo, I asked for a good drill and a couple of other tools. Friends dropped by and commented about my Dad’s new tools. For people who knew him that was dumb as he already had nearly every tool anyone could want. I still protested, those are mine!
I love doing things by myself. Going to the movies was the first thing I tried alone and it was so nice and a whole lot cheaper. Two years ago I went to Florida for a week by myself. It was the absolute best vacation I’ve ever had. I spent a few days at a friends house in her travel trailer and then went to Disney for a few days. Being at my favorite place alone was amazing, as I was listening to crying/wining children and spouses arguing over plans, I was SO happy to be able to do my own thing without my husband’s complaints. I think it’s time for another vacation 😂
