Lord of Patriarchy's Hot Takes on Cooking 

"Why are you drenching everything in olive oil?!?!" Because olive oil slaps, next question

How does Dave know when his food is done if none of his clocks are right? The microwave beeps

Dave unironically asks why you season something, the surprise of absolutely NO ONE. x'D

Lord of cringe: why are you using Olive oil on a burger, put it on a salad. Also lord of cringe: why are you putting olive oil on the lettuce. 😂

Chud of Patriarchy looks like the type of mans to tell Gordon Ramsey he doesn't know what he's doing

Red Flag for dating is men who side with the accused in sexual harassment cases as default stance.

Does LoP not realise that a professional chef knows what he's doing? Cooking from scratch is all about figuring out what works and what doesn't, and someone like Mario has had years to learn.

If Dave thinks that is burnt I'm not sure he's even eaten a burger.

That's the latest high end hospitality industry scam, the management cuts itself in on a percentage of tips for events, and sometimes in tip pools. They found out most high end tipped employees make more than most management, they had to "fix" it.

I miss you covering Lord of Cringe

I understand that Lord of Patriarchy doesn’t know how to cook, but why is he getting angry that someone else does?

"Shepard's pie...isn't easy" ??? It's literally a casserole, the easiest thing in the world to make. I've made vegan shepard's/cottage pie many times, and it wasn't difficult in the slightest.

I loved this, I would love more clips like this or where you just talk about cooking in general

As a mediterranean, I'm offended by Dave's disdain for olive oil. I use it for most things. Though for fried things, you would want refined oil, and the extra virgin oil is used for seasoning.

I have a new appreciation for olive oil because it triggers him so😁

Jake, I hope you know I live for these segments.

This person is the definition of "ant-sjw neck beard"

@Legndofphonix can you start putting the original stream date of these somewhere in the description? Sometimes it would be helpful for knowing the context of when he is saying this stuff.

Dave, fresh mozzarella doesn't get gooey melty, bro. How can he be so wrong about EVERYTHING cooking related? I mean, everything. Every. Last. Thing.

Mario Batali? Isn’t that the one who got MeToo’d and responded with a brownie recipe? Or am I thinking of a different dubious celebrity chef?

I think Dave has only ever bought cheap olive oil. Spend a bit more, spend some time finding a brand you like, and olive oil is the best thing on earth. Ill even straight up just dip white sandwich bread into it i love olive oil so much.

Jesus Christ, Dave. I'm not even a cook and I know peanut or grapeseed oil would have completely ruined the flavor of everything else.

I guess the same people who rant about feminism or whatever without knowing what they're talking about also have the confidence to rant about cooking without knowing what they're talking about. :P good roast Jake (or as that guy would say, good burn. Cause apparently anything more intensive than a microwave is apparently burning it. XD

Dave giving Mario food advice is like me giving steph curry advice on his jump shot Also that looks so delicious omg

Just as a culinary guy....an aioli is just an emulsification of olive oil. If you ever order North African food, you'll get a aioli that's just olive oil and a million garlic cloves. Since he had an acid, olive oil, and salt, Dave was kinda right. Generally, people confuse mayo and aioli (mayo has eggs) and nobody really cares that much, but you were wrong on this one. Also, I'm kinda with Dave on the olive oil - you definitely want fat for heat transfer, that was right - but that was way past the smoke point of that EVOO, so now you're oxidizing the shit out of it, and you're getting nasty polar compounds. Considering how patchy it was, I think that's more carbonized burnt oil than maillard meat. Dave's wrong about saying it's charcoal, but that black flaky stuff on the surface of the burger is probably pretty bitter.

Real Chad Jake vs virgin Lord of cringe that can't cook

I'd love to try making this with a plant based burger. I personally only uses olive oil because I like the slightly bitter taste. Butter is just too greasy. If Dave just did some experiments he could make it work. But we've seen his skills before.

Jake you are dipping into my area now. I’m a chef of 20 years. Haha and funny you mentioned shepherd’s pie, I’m making it tonight

06:00 Ummmmmm, a smoker is not a pan on a stove.

I was expecting Dave to start complaining about the kaiser roll. "I have to cut the fucking bun too? Do I look like a Frenchman? Fuck that, you're supposed to just slam it between two pieces of Wonder Bread and drown it in ketchup!"

Oh no not more cooking with cringe

LoP looks like someone who thinks hot pockets are gourmet.

"wait you season your food?"-Lord of patriarchy

I mean with the amount of oil, for me it often comes down to kalories, more oil basically always tastes better. It just carries flavours really good.

Is Dave good at anything he does? I would eat my own puke before I ever ate Dave's cooking.

Man I wish a had a kitchen vent like that. My kitchen fan does almost nothing.

Now I love olive oil to a distressing degree, but I would agree he does go a bit heavy on the olive oil. That said, we're talking "maybe go slightly less on the bun" and "oiling the lettuce seems weird" not what Dave is talking about

The best thing about Dave’s cooking channel is the intro. It says everything anyone needs to know about Dave Nordahl.

My mom had this amazing recipe for acorn squash where you put spices and pecans together with your squash meat after you've baked your squash in a pan with water for about 2 hours in the oven, and it was delicious. If I ever find a similar recipe or can remember the spices her recipe called for, I'd love to make it again sometime.

*Pulls toast out of the toaster* "FOR FUCK SAKE YOU MADE THE BREAD BROWN AND RUINED IT."

ALRIGHT DAVES BACK ...... he seems to have taken the election better then i assumed also ALL HAIL JAKE THE CORN KING LONG MAY HE REIGN

Olive oil killed his parents

Mario wears Crocs...exclusively. That’s all I need to know about him. 😒

my man hates olive oil

I feel like he was aware of Dave's reaction and added the olive oil to the lettuce just to puss him off.

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. Watching you laugh Lord Of Cringe feels like an early birthday present. Thank you, Jake.

the reason the paddy stayed together was not because of the skin they made on the burger it comes from the fact that they seasoned their meat mixture with salt before mixing. Doing this with ground meat allows it to bind and cling much better i.e. sausages and hotdogs.

I hate to be that guy, but lord of cringe is right about the olive oil. I also work in a restaurant and that guy used more olive oil than we do

Okay, NOW I get the whole "white people don't use spice" jokes!

I love olive oil but I can empathize with chefs sometimes using in too high a volume for my taste/ gut. Too much fat can upset a person's gut, causing indigestion or heartburn. The oily texture might not be palatable to those or us that grew up using less oil. That being said. Dave knows shit all about flavor or respecting preferences.

I'm a vegetarian and I can tell you that that burger looks dope as fuck

Slice of tomato, slice of fresh mozz (sprinkled with salt), fresh basil. Shit is cash money.

Clockman has bad takes on everything. He's so confused and angry about everything. His poor mom having him living in her basement. Must be a nightmare!

Why on earth would I want the cheese to "explode out"? Then it wouldn't be in the burger anymore, it would be a mess on the plate I'd have to scrape up with a fork.

And... what culinary school did YOU go to, DAVE?!?

Fetal Alcohol Father Time gets popped by Corn

I've evolved beyond eating anything more real than McDonalds McChicken McNuggets but god damn that is one fine ass burger that sexpest done molested up.

Has Dave never eaten a caprese sandwich? Or a pizza? Mozzarella always solidifies after you cook it.

"Why!?" - this guy is giving cooking tips?

That is a lot of fucking olive oil

Just imagine what else Dave calls a "Juicy Lucy".

I've been binging on all these Dave's cooking episodes.. They are such horrific comedy

Plain fresh mozz *is* nice tho ^^ Like for pizza I wouldn't really salt, burgers I'd just blend in a flavouring cheese and salt the meat as he is. But then I cook in a weird way. As long as we're not washing mince after we cook it or something absurd like that there are a lot of ways of thinking about flavour that work

Would pay to see Dave vs Mario on Iron Chef

This guy is a microwave chef. He knows nothing of fine dining.

Why spice food says man who doesn’t understand the centuries of bland food and the booming industry that was the spice trade.

Jake said Kappa-Cola and I cringed in Italian

Dave seems like the sort of guy who subsists entirely on Cheezits, McDonald's, & Mountain Dew. I wouldn't trust his advice on microwaving instant ramen, much less actual cooking.

Extra Virgin olive oil does have a lower smoke point than most oils, but also Dave, because you can't cook, you probably don't realize this, by the time it happens, the pork fat will start to render out and mix with it, so it won't turn bitter. This is why when you want to cook things in butter without it turning as brown you mix the butter with a higher smoke point oil.. And btw, that "low smoke point" of extra virgin olive oil, is still we're not talking 200 degrees, we're talking 375-400 degrees vs peanut oil which is about 450 degrees.. Its not as much of a factor as you're making it out to be Dave.

Dave , a man who can't cook angry at people who actually know how to cook

Man, everything is burnt to Dave, huh? He's gotta be eating a lot of untoasted, raw, and undercooked food.

I'm second or first..idk..I'm stoned

jake an aioli is not made using mayo an aioli is made with eggs oil and herbs/seasonings which is basically in itself a mayo but you don't use mayo to make an aioli.

I’m of the opinion that this guy has never cooked before.

Does that dude know that you can't eat rare pork ? Does he want it raw though?

Lord of Patties is negging on the pork burger like does women, purely out of spite.

Did he call it a 'pocket burger' and say his kids invented it for him? That's just a Juicy Lucy, and those have been around for a long time.

TIL Mario Batali likes women. Edit: I'll be literate someday

Lbr guys LOC has never had fresh mozzarella

Totally not the point, but it is duck A l'orange, saying duck l'orange is like saying duck the orange, that's a pretty good character name but it is missing the "a" that means "with".

Dave has patrons?? 🤔🤯😵

Thank you so much for making this lol, since I wasnt able to get cyberpunk it was fun to see you just shit all over the snortling hollow himself. Hell, not exactly a pork belly burger, but i had some impossible™ meat in my fridge. Figured why tf not 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'll make a black pepper maple burger with some smoky pepper fontina cheese from my local kroger, grilled some potato bread in the pan after. Made a butter sauce for it. Shit was, mmm 👌I was high af too, it hit the spot let me tell you man.

Dave is an adorable little curmudgeon.

Wait, Dave has a Patreon and someone actually contributes to it.

Cringe-lord is a sad man... Looks at fine food and becomes enraged. He grew up on only Chicken Nuggies and Doritos crunched into Wypeepo Enchiladas...

Okay since you won't debate me how about a cookoff

Not to be the dude judging a professional chef but fuck me do people really use that much salt in their cooking? Like fuck me man it looks pretty tasty but I also don't want my God damn heart to explode. Like the salt is supposed to enhance the flavor of the other stuff not be the flavor itself.

Plus you're white heh haaaaaaaaa

I wanna see mario vitali cook a meal using guacamole, gummy bears and ham.