loss 

julien, we all love you. so, so much.

I lost my cousin 3 years ago & came across this Lemony Snicket quote that hit something in me, it might resonate with you or anyone else dealing with loss right now too. Thinking of you 💖 “It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”

This video saved me last year. I didn’t comment then. But thank you.

Hello Julien, This was the first video i've ever watched of yours. It was on my feed and i think it was there for a reason. Last night I called my sister hysterically crying and telling her I was going to take my life away. I've battled with severe depression my whole life and sometimes I feel like I cant handle it anymore. I always knew if i committed suicide that my friends and family would be heartbroken, however I could never picture it myself. Today, you have opened my eyes to what my loved ones could feel if I left this life. I can see it in you that you're going through such a tough time dealing with the loss of your friend and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this story. Update 2 years later: still here 👍🏻 you people are wonderful. It gets better. Thank you for the wonderful messages.

I got to the end without crying, only tearing up, until I saw the long list of suicide prevention hotlines in the description. Thank you for that. We are with you, Julien. All 1.4 million+ of us are here for you, and we're aching for you. You posting on schedule is only important to us if it's bearable to you emotionally and necessary to you for healing. Your situation is beyond the internet, and sometimes you need to be a human and exist at a bare minimum, laying in one spot, processing emotions and pausing obligations. If you need to log off, sit motionless, and heal, we not only understand, but can relate. Let yourself feel pain, and don't hold back. Sometimes it's necessary. Wishing you peace, and a steady recovery ♥ Edit: I saw a comment that said "He is the clouds in your sky now." and I wanted to quote that, because I though it was beautiful and underrated. Love you guys.

In Finland if you lose someone important we do say "my condolenses" but we also say, well, it translates to "power to you". So i'm giving all my power that i have - to you, man.

We love you, Julien❤️

I don't think I'd ever fight a battle in my life worse than depression. Many people judge others for the common association with depression such as being in bed all day, eating too much or too little, too quiet etc because they haven't known what it is like. Depression is a very real issue. Here are some steps that might help. 1) Comfort zone. Get out of it. You must brace yourself to learn to get out of your usual way to interact with others. Go out to walk in shopping mall. Face your fears. Surround yourself with friends. 2) Have a confidante. I'd best hope it is a psychologist or therapist because not many is well equipped to deal with someone who is depressed. The relationship can get very very toxic very very quickly. 3) Exercise. Exercise will help you. It releases large amount of endorphins which will help with depression. 4) Medicine. Don't be afraid to try medication. There are many many anti-depressants you can always try. If it doesn't work, move on with the next one. Depression in a sense is a blessing for me despite putting me in a dark place. It allowed me to be more empathetic with others. I hope each and everyone of you find your way.

I lost my husband to suicide. It's such a helpless feeling. All you can do is ride out the shock and grieve in whatever way you need to. Prayers.

My 12 year old brother shot himself in 2014 when I was the only person home, and my parents were away on trip. I was the responsible one for my brother, and I ultimately to this day, March 15, 2018, feel responsible for his actions on that day. It's such a hard loss to mourn and deal with, and the healing process isn't easy. It doesn't get better with time, but how active in your brain that emotion is will fade. It will filter through your conscious thought just like anything else in life and eventually file itself into your memories. I don't want to lie to you. I don't want to say he's in a better place because that is all entirely too played out and ultimately, just not true. Loss is extremely hard to cope with, and takes time to be able to even process. Please take your time and pace yourself as far as 'resuming normal life' goes. I went to school the next day after my brother shot himself after sitting at children's mercy all night and morning, and it's one of the biggest regrets I have to this day. I wish I would've sat by my parents' sides, holding their hand as their baby boy was hooked up to every machine the hospital had on site. I should've sat with my baby brother. I should've protected him, and prevented the whole situation. I left my family in times of need because I told myself 'I have to get back out there' when really I was evading the guilt I felt for allowing it to happen in my care. Please. Please take care of yourself. I pray you see this message, and it helps you the way I wish someone would've helped me. Sorry I'm extremely passionate about this topic and I wanted to get my story out there so you'll know there is nothing in life you have to experience alone.

I struggle with depression and one of my main reasons to watch RU-vid is to help me get out of my head. I started watching Jenna in 2011, and I thoroughly appreciate the both of you making me laugh every week. You don’t owe your followers anything, but I appreciate you using your platform the way you do, especially with videos like this. ❤️

My best friend committed suicide years ago. I wish I could say you get over it but you just don’t. In the past i wished i could just “get over it” but now i couldn’t imagine living a day without having his memory with me and carrying his life on so it can continue to impact others. It will always be painful. We need time to grieve. But we owe it to them to keep on living and carry them with us. They never wanted to hurt anyone.

As a depressed psychology student I can only tell you fellow depressed peeps: it will get better. You need to get help. You're worth the help. No storm can last forever. Suicide only hurt those who love you.

aw feel better soon dink dad. we'll be here waiting and not forcing you. heal on your own time

One thing I love about Julien is that he doesn't always look straight into the camera. When he does, it's like he's talking to a friend, not just doing things and narrating like some vloggers. I love how he is just funny and relaxed, not trying to make it seem like his life is so much better or more interesting than yours. So for that I thank you, Julien, and you probably will never see this, but you keep being you, because you are pretty good at it. We support and love you in this difficult time.

I’ve never commented before, but love you Julian.

I'm so sorry, Julien. Take all the time you need to take care of yourself. Your mental health is very important, and no one will blame you for taking some time to take care of yourself. Much love.

I've lost 2 friends to suicide. I've lost 3 friends in car accidents. I lost my best friend in college to a drive by shooting. Let me tell you this, man... It doesn't get easier because you forget about the loss... It gets easier because you continuously remember every great moment, feeling, and thought that you ever shared with the person who has passed on. Take time to deal with this on your own time and in your own way. Grief is individualistic. It's something we all process in different ways. When I've experienced loss, my first instinct is to do what you're about to do... Create art. It will help, it will get better, and it will make the memories of every happy moment come flying back in for a positive line of thinking and living. Obviously I don't personally know you, but... It feels like I do because of your content. So, just wanted to end with something I always say to my friends when they are struggling. Love ya brother, on Earth and beyond. I hope you find peace and happiness soon. My thoughts and my prayers are with everyone you know who is struggling with the loss. I know sometimes that seems empty, but... It's what I know how to do. Be well, brother.

Who ever disliked this video should be ashamed of themselves

someone is going to come across this that so desperately needs it. Thank you for being open and kind and so very full of heart.

Also, as a mentally ill sometimes-suicidal individual myself, I really appreciate people being vocal about it.

I’m not sure how much I can say that hasn’t been said by this wonderful community already in better words than I could ever find. I just want to remind you that we’re here for you. We’re here for you now, and we’ll be here for you through whatever comes. If in three months or three years you find yourself in need of a break to process this or anything else, we’ll be with you. A lot of us (self included) have known you since your first appearance on Jenna’s channel- you’re not just a creator to us, you’re a person we care about deeply. I wouldn’t usually speak for the whole Dink Fam, but I know they would agree that you, your happiness, and your well-being are so important to us, and we’ll be there for you however and whenever you need us.

Losing a friend is very hard. Sending love.

I appreciate it that you included hotlines of different countries. I didn't even know my country's hotlines. Because of this video, now I know.

TO ALL PEOPLE WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, as a person with depression who have lost sever friends to suicide, I want to tell you what I’ve learnt and what helped me: Sometimes you can feel that you are all alone, that no one understands you, that no one cares. Sometimes you can think that it is to hard to carry on, it’s not worth it, that there is nothing that can be done and nothing makes sense anymore. But I promise - it’s not true. As long as you are alive, everything can change. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but eventually. Life is a constant change. And as long as you are still with us, many good things can happen to you (even if now you can’t see or feel this). You may not even realise how much you and your life have impacted other people. But I promise there are people who are thinking of you. Maybe not all the time, maybe not at the moment, but every once in a while. There is someone (maybe a stranger, maybe a close friend) who remembers that one sentence you said in seventh grade during the break or that one smile you gave them when they were having a bad day. During your life you met and impacted several people. And as long as you are alive you can meet and impact even more people. We need you. So if you have a bad moment - please sit down, breath deeply a few times, think about what I said. Concentrate on what you can see, what you can smell, what you can hear. Feel the hard floor beneath you, touch your legs, your hands, your stomach. Feel how it’s moving up and down with your every breath. As long as you live everything can change and be better for you. And don’t do it. Stay with us. There’s so much to live for. (And if you need please contact a lifeline: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Online Chat: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ International Suicide Hotlines: ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines)

I lost my brother to suicide and it’s honestly the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. My heart goes out to you Julien, because dealing with this grief is going to be a long and difficult process. Just when you start to feel normal again you remember and it feels like it’s all starting over again. I hope you will not only take as much time as you need now but also in the future because some days are going to be harder than others. But you are going to get through this in your own way and in your own time. We love you so much and are here for you 😞

we love you julie. 💕 please don’t force yourself to be present, we miss you and all my prayers go out to you. i love love LOVE you!!!! 💖💓

Just remember, Grief is not linear. It’s a journey where the milestones are different for each person.

Seeing julien not smiling and cracking jokes is so eerie, it gave me goosebumps. Take all the time you need, I hope your heart is able to fully heal from your loss ❤️

Julien my heart is so heavy for you. I’m very sorry for the pain you’re feeling now. With your presence online, this tragedy may turn out to be someone’s turning point who needed to see this. 🙏🏼💖💖💖💖💖

Just know that no matter what, things couldn’t have been different. You can be there for someone every second of every day but, if their mind wages a war against itself, that’s a battle that you cannot fight for them. I am so fucking sorry for the pain that you are enduring and the pain that Brandon was overcome with. At the age of 15-17 I was extremely suicidal, I never thought that I would live to see the day that I graduated high school. I’m about to graduate college, with a bachelors in psychology and a member of the clinical focus cohort at my school. I went into this field based off of my own suffering and my own desire to figure my fucked up self out. At the age of 22, I still have my off days and my very off days but, I am driven by all of the people that are suffering, have and continue to suffer, or those who unfortunately lost the battle. I am so sorry for your loss. Although Brandon is out of his physical world suffering, know that he sees you, feels your pain, and hears your sobs. He passed far too early but, he is not gone forever. I’ve been a fan of you since you and Jenna started dating, even back when everyone was like “who the fuck is julien??” You have helped me through so many rough patches of my own life and I have no doubt that you have helped SO SO SO many others as well. I again, am so incredibly sorry. Take care of yourself and allow yourself the time to heal. Rest in the sweetest peace, Brandon. Heaven has gained an incredible angel.

Hi Julien. I don’t know if you will see this or not but I’ve decided to write this anyway. On June 17th 2017 I lost a close family friend to suicide. I was the one who found her. For a while you will feel lost and confused. You’ll even blame yourself, well at least I did. But it does get better. This is the worst feeling you will ever feel. This is bottom. I just want you to know you are not alone in this pain that you feel. From losing someone to this, I have grown to appreciate friendships and life so much more. I have become a better person. My advice to you is to keep moving forward with a positive outlook on life. And for everyone else reading this comment, be mindful of everyone around you. Stay strong.

Normally a silent fan of you and Jenna’s channels but I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

As a community our only real job here is to love and support you and as much as we all love seeing your cute faces, including the dogs. Your and Jenna’s mental and physical health should always come first. So if you need to take a break from social media you should and you shouldn’t apologize for it. Your real friends and the real dink fam will understand and we’ll still be here when you decide you’re ready to come back. I love you guys and I’m really sorry about your friend julie, thank you for talking about what happened and encouraging others that can relate to talk to someone about it. That alone helps so many people

I was 14 when I started dealing with depression and anxiety. I tried taking my own life twice by the time I was 20. I’m almost 24 now. I’m still here, and I have to keep going for all the people who can’t anymore. For anyone dealing with this- I want to say it gets better but it doesn’t. It doesn’t get better, but YOU get STRONGER. The most important thing you can do is ask for help in whatever form you need it. I love you all. Stay strong. Love you Julien. He’s the clouds in your sky now.

I haven’t lost a friend to suicide, but I’ve had a friend who contracted the flu, had her organs fail, and, eventually, died throughout the course of a day. I can’t say I understand losing someone to suicide, but I definitely feel your pain. Losing a friend is one of the hardest things you can go through. It’s much different than losing a relative - it’s a much more empty feeling, because a piece of joy has been lost from your daily routine. A friend, a ray of sunshine, a smile or two. I can understand that. I can understand the hollowness; sadly, I always will.

I lost my mom to suicide in November and it has changed my life forever. Idk if I'll ever stop mourning. I used to be depressed and have suicidal thoughts until my mom died. Now I could never imagine putting my family through that kind of pain again. Sadly I'm also the one who found her. So now idk how to ever get that image out of my head. Love you and thank you for speaking up on this topic. I know it's hard. I know. Stay strong. Praying for you.

I know this is really long, but I have lost 5 close friends to suicide in the span of four years, and this wisdom has gotten me through that and several other deaths. Please take a minute to read this. I'm so sorry, Julien. I wish there was more we could do. "Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gorged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."

I'm sorry Julien, and all of you who've lost someone. We need to talk about mental health, and not let it be something to be brushed off.

I lost my dad to suicide a few months ago. It's hard, you never truly forget that pain, the initial pain of finding out your loved one isn't living anymore. That initial pain floods on sometimes, and it hurts so much. You don't get over loss, you learn to live with it, and that's one of the hardest things to do.

Whoever disliked this video is a heartless monster

One of my childhood friends passed away when we were 19, and I still love her and remember her. The sadness becomes less painful and more light with time. I see you and your pain. You can carry his memory with you, you're strong enough and your heart is big enough.

Im sorry this had to happen Julie. We love you and we need you to be strong, safe and take your time to heal. We'll all be here, as long as it takes.

I'm gonna take the time right now to call everyone I would miss so dearly if they were gone to tell them now how I feel. It's easy to forget who you would affect if you left the world behind

Sometimes a video like this is all someone needs to not do it. A reminder that there are people who love you and will be haunted by your absence. As difficult as I'm sure this was to make, thank you Julien. You may have lost your friend, but you may save another life by posting this. Speaking from experience. My condolences and never-ending love and support as always.

We’re always here for you! I’m dearly sorry for your loss❤️❤️❤️

julien i don’t have the right words to say, i can’t even imagine what you’re going through..i just want to say again that everyone loves you and that we want you to take care of yourself and i’m so sorry this happened. Brandon sounds like an amazing guy and i’m so sorry he was in so much pain, he didn’t deserve it. I really appreciate you spreading awareness about suicide even in this awful situation. I wish i could think of something to make it better

When my friend committed suicide, we came together and created a rugby tournament (it was his favorite thing to do) that raised money for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and after the tournament we had an educational panel so people could know the signs of depression and do something to stop someone from doing such a final thing. I think about my friend every day but I do what I do for him and the others who have passed around me. You have a very big opportunity to take this trauma and turn it into something great. If we can do it, you can too. Sending all my love to you and Jenna

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I’m sure Brandon was a wonderful person. Love you so much Julie.

When my brother died, i thought my world ended. I learned that nothing that anyone can say will ever make this deep hurt, that’s in the pit of your heart, go away. I didn’t know they way that my brother chose to end his life until recently. Every time you see a picture of him, you see a shirt that he used to have, a hat that looked like his favorite one, or even a song you both knew all the words to, it will open that wound that you thought was healed. After a shipwreck, passengers hold onto doors and couches just to keep afloat. Every wave after the first initial crash will feel like you’re drowning all over again. Eventually you will learn to hold your breath and will make it to the shore. This will never become easier, you will become stronger and learn how to manage it. Thank you for being so vocal and sharing what you are going through, because there are thousands of us who never got the courage to. My heart hurts for you.

To anyone dealing with the loss of someone from suicide please know it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself because the person who did it did not want to hurt you and they don't want you to feel like it's your fault because it isn't. I know it's really easy to blame yourself but it's not your fault.

:( I lost a friend to an OD around the same time this month. I feel like there has been so much loss lately & I thank u for this video

My father killed himself, it’s one of the hardest things you can go through. I’m so sorry for your loss. Everyone handles things differently and handle it the best you can. Take care.

Losing someone to suicide is such a strange feeling and pain, it’s like no other. From my own experience, get plenty of sleep, go on some relaxing walks, and honestly just cry (it really helps). Also talk about how you’re feeling, don’t go through this alone. Rn it’ll seem like you’ll never get through it but trust me you will and you will be able to get back to normality. Lot and lots of love and prayers being sent your way ❤️

stay strong julien 💗 always here for you

Please know that your content and Jenna’s always ALWAYS puts a smile on my face. You two make my boyfriend and I laugh even on the hardest days. I am so sorry for your loss, do whatever makes this easier on you. We as your fans will always be here!!

I just wanted to say, you have already brought a lot of good in the world. I struggle with mental health and whenever I'm in a deep episode I will watch previous vlogs. Your laugh and relationship with Jenna and your dogs brings a little light when I can only see darkness. Thank you for that Julien. The Dink fam is here for you.

don’t worry about posting. if you ever feel that you can’t post one week or stream or podcast or whatever, it’s okay!! your health, both mental and physical, is so important to us. we’re with you every step of the way. we love you.

One of my best friends randomly took his own life on 1/15/13. I didn't see it coming, nobody did. I searched forever for signs in texts and our conversations in my memory and it drove me crazy not knowing why he did it. He didn't leave a note, nothing, he just left. I feel terrible for the pain that you're feeling. Don't blame yourself, I know there are days that I still do for myself. You're going to make it through this, he wants you to be happy. love you

i periodically come back to this video when i need it most. thank you.

Praying for you Julien. Suicide is so, so hard to deal with. I almost lost my best friend to suicide in middle school and the panic was scarring. We love you so much and will support you in anything you do. Stay strong dink dad.

holy shit...im so sorry julien. get better soon. take all the time you need we understand 100%

we love you julien ♥️

I'm so sorry. You and your friends and family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so sorry. Losing someone to mental health is so devastating. Having a mental illness, such a large reason I take care of myself is knowing that this is what would happen to the people I care about if I didn't. You are never alone. We all love you so much. We are all here for you ♥️

I’m usually a silent fan of yours and Jenna’s channels/dink fam but I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss and I hope times get better for u. It absolutely breaks my heart to see someone that makes me laugh and just happy really so down and I want to let u know I care ❤️. Sending virtual hugs from Michigan.💕

Dear Julien. I lost my brother to suicide 8 years ago. It is something you learn to live with but the emptiness in heart never goes away. Thinking of you.

I’m actually crying my eyes out right now. I’m suicidal most of my days, and this makes me want to get help because the pain suicide leaves people with is scary and tremendous, I never want anyone to feel like I do, and how Brandon did. Brandon feels like such a special dude

Julien, don't feel like you owe it to us to post anything, don't stress over posting and do not try to rush the mourning process. If you want to take a month off, or even a year off hell, TAKE IT! Your true fans will always be by your side supporting you when you get back, no matter how long it takes. Your personal life and your mental health ALWAYS comes first, never forget that. I am glad you weren't on the podcast or in Jenna's video this week simply because you need this time to mourn. It will take a long while, I am so so so sorry this happened to your best friend. We love you and I hope he is in a better place. Life is a so unfair, it's a bitch. My step-mother is currently fighting stage four colon, liver, AND lymphnode cancer. She is 48 years old. It came out of NOWHERE last June, it hit our family like a fucking brick. In one year my step-moms favorite animals died from cancer and she got cancer as well. It has been hell for us. She is having her second surgery in 3 weeks and im genuinely terrified that we might lose her. She is all my dad has left other than me and my brother and we both live out of state. I am scared shitless and pissed at the world for letting this happen to a healthy, young, woman who has already been through hell and back. Life is a bitch, we love you and your best friend will never be forgotten. Take your time. ❤ - dink fam.

I cried through this video, You linked not just the USA hotlines but hotlines all over the world .RESPECT!! It shows there is some good in the world and you and jenna are some of that good.

Julien. I’m sorry. Times like these it seems like the words “I’m sorry” can mean the least. Please take all the time you need to process and grieve. There is absolutely no time limit on grieving. 3 years ago I lost my father at 18 years old. 8 months later I lost my fiancé to murder at 19 years old. Though our situations are different, as every loss is.. there is always something to smile about. Memories will creep into your mind, some will make you laugh out loud, others will make you weep. Feel those moments, take them in. Because if you keep your eyes are ears open, your loved one will send you signs. Brandon will let you know he’s okay. ❤️ I’ve never been a real “spiritual” person. But I’ve grown to really feel the presence of my loved ones from time to time. It’s breathtaking. I’ll be thinking of you. Just know you’ve not lost Brandon forever. Just look for him, he will be by your side. ❤️ Sending strength, comfort, and acceptance your way.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend and the pain you have to endure at this time. I lost my husband to suicide January 7th this year. We were living separately but we were great friends. I had no idea that he was in such a dark place. I don’t know if survivors of suicide victims ever truly recover. It seems like we find a way to cope and never let the memories or if only(s) go. 💕

Can I just say how appreciative I am of the fact that you opened up to us like this? We know you’ve been struggling, we’ve been curious as to what has been going on, however we were allowing you space to heal. The fact that you had the courage to have a conversation with us about such a personal matter is very admirable. It’s a very tragic situation and I’m so glad we can be here to support you along side Jenna. And I’m glad you feel that support. I love you. I’m praying for you. ❤️

julien no pressure. take it easy

Two years ago I received the same news. I promise you, it gets easier. Slowly the sadness turns to fondness and you don't cry when you think about them. You smile. And you keep smiling. x

Being a creator can be pretty stressful, i can only imagine trying to do it while dealing with loss and pain. Both you and Jenna take some time, heal, get things sorted out. We can all wait and give you the time you need because as a community we should love and support one another. We'll be here for you when you come back, if you do, and those who aren't really shouldn't have subbed in my opinion. Love you guys, hang in there

I’m so sorry for your loss Julien. I’ve tried to commit suicide 3 times and it’s a daily, hourly struggle to keep living when you are in that kind of place, when you’re mentally ill. I can tell you that my friends are the one thing that keeps me alive because I don’t want them to feel this hurt. But sometimes I’m in so much pain that I can’t even comprehend anything else besides ending it. I’m sure he thought about you often and you gave him strength to keep going as long as he did more times than you even know. ❤️

Love and support is all I can offer you and his family and friends. I have lost too many people to suicide I know how it feels. I'm glad to have had so many people to love and support me and im here for you

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost someone I grew up with to suicide and it’s such a unique pain. I’m praying for you, your friends and the family as they grieve. Don’t feel like you need to rush back to work, we all understand. Take care of yourself friend 💕

im suicidal, this video made me realize how much pain my family would be in. im gonna get some help for my depression. its difficult but i have to do it

I’m sure you’re getting more unwarranted advice from strangers on the internet than someone would ever want to be overwhelmed with, but in case no one has said it yet-be sure to take your own advice. You are undeniably going through an incredibly hard time. Make sure that YOU are reaching out and talking through and processing the best way you can. Right now there is probably a lot of mutual support being shared throughout your circle, and it will be important to remember as time goes on that everyone grieves differently and everyone heals at a different pace and that coping isn’t the same thing as curing and healing isn’t the same thing as fixing. You already know you’ve got a whole bunch of objective sources on the internet who are unburdened by the loss you’re going through and have the collective emotional energy to spare to support you. Don’t be afraid to find that in person, too, even in seeking out a mental health professional. My condolences. Much love. Thank you for doing what you do. ♥️

"Those who pass by us, do not go alone, and do not leave us alone; they leave a bit of themselves, and take a little of us" (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) This is so true... Sending love and peace of mind your way, Julien...

Of course we spent the time listening, fam. 💙 You and Jenna are here for me every week. Every insomnia filled Thursday slash Friday. Every I’ve been up to long, it’s 3am on a Tuesday night l and I can’t sleep, just wanna get lost in RU-vid because todays sucked balls. You make me smile, and laugh when my days been headache and tears. Of course we listened. And we are here for you. #DinkNation

Lost a beloved family member in February and wasn't able to watch this until now but I really appreciate you sharing this with us. I've had some difficulty allowing the loss and sadness to come to the surface because I didn't know how to process or deal with it. Watching this, I felt less alone and could process some of the ache and sorrow, allowing it to bubble up to the surface. Thank you

I’m soo sorry Julien, I’ve lost friends in the past from suicide, and it’s extremely hard, and you’ll always have questions and possibly never any answers, and they’ll be on your mind, but know this, he is with you, look for signs he’s sending you, even if it’s something small, Mike, Calvin and I are sending lots of care and love ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️ stay strong and know your friends, family and dink fam are here for you ❤️

Stuff like this is why I haven't killed myself. Thinking of my loved ones hurting like this has been the only thing stopping me many days. I hope anyone else who is suicidal thinks about this too, as well as seek help. We love you Julie.

I'm so sorry Julien, there's nothing anyone can say to make this situation any better, or turn back time, but I just want you to know that I'm another one of the thousands of people who are here for you through all of this, because we love you so much. I'm in tears right now because this video really hits home for me, as someone who has been battling suicidal thoughts for 5 years now. Every day is a constant battle, some days are better than others, but what keeps me going are my close friends and family, who have shown nothing but love and support through it all. But sometimes no matter how much love they give, the struggles and pain of daily life can just be too much and lead you to do something you really don't mean to. Except, in a way you do mean to. You want to end the day-to-day battles with depression and suicidal thoughts, but you don't think about how it would affect the people who care about you. And it's not their fault. It's not your fault. I'm sure you've heard that before but it's so true. It's okay and healthy to grieve, but just know that there isn't any more you could have done. When someone is set on killing themselves, it's extremely difficult, if not impossible to change their mind. They have to see it for themselves. What it does to people. How much they're missed and how much heartbreak it causes others. But often, it's too late. Which is why I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart for making this video. Maybe it will serve as an awakening for people like me, who just need reminders of how once you take your life, that pain you intended to get rid of multiplies by the amount of people who care about you, which is always more than you realize. I love you so much and for those of you out there who are struggling, just know that you are so brave and strong for fighting each day. If things get bad, think of it less of fighting for yourself, but fighting for the people you love. Don't let them down, okay?

I lost a close friend to suicide this past friday and i can't believe youtube just recommended me this video. you and jenna have brought me so much happiness through the years and uou will continue to bring me happiness each time i go back and rewatch your videos

When I experienced loss I think it was hardest to realize that I wasn’t alone. When my daughter died, I was 22 years old. It was just last June. Suddenly I was flooded with the knowledge that other parents, in countless ways, had lost children. I really didn’t want anyone else to know that hurt. I’m a parent of a dead baby, and you are a friend of a man who took his life. We want to believe we could prevent it- but we couldn’t. We didn’t do this, and we have to believe that our lost love ones want us to honor them in our lives. Living after my daughter passed is terrible, but I know her soul connected with mine. I know her soul loved me. Just as your friend did yours. And one day, I Promise, you’ll hear the name and you’ll feel the happiness they brought, and not just the sadness they left.

There are 1.4 million of us keeping you in our thoughts, Julien.

If anyone is looking for a sign to live even another day, this is it We all love you Julien. Everything will be okay.

My best friend commited suicide two years ago. His girlfriend followed him the next day. I have severe depression and He saved my life when I attempted suicide myself. I miss him every single day. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this Julien. Thank you for sharing with us. Lots of love Fam

THIS VIDEO, ladies and gentlemen, is why you must talk to others. Dont leave someone with this. I know many of you on here have dealt with similar things that his friend has and i have to say if there is something you need help with dont be afraid to get it! I love all of you. If anyone on here needs anything, message me. I got you, dink fam

Dear Julien, I've lost a family member due to suicide a few years ago. you keep blaming yourself and you keep wondering if there was anything you could've done to prevent it from happening. but you need to realize and remember that there was nothing you could've done that would've changed the situation. do not blame yourself. I believe that your friend is in a good place and has found his peace now. I'm so sorry for your loss. /Ida

we love you so much julien, take all the time you need ❤️❤️❤️

this is one of the videos that saved my life. thanks. love you and everything you’ve done for everyone without even realizing it.

as much as i love your content, do not make something if you do not want to. we love you as a human being first, not just a content creator. take all the time you need, if you want. we will all be here.

I know for a fact that the dink fam would never want you to rush your grief or feel pressured to continue making content or showing up when you just can't that day. If you need to take more time for yourself or if you need to come back and step away again, the community will be here when you're ready. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working through your grief and mourning the way you need it. Pain like this doesn't go away. And ever since I joined the dink fam, I know that this community is going to support you, no matter what that process for you is. We'll be here. I'm so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers go out to all that were affected by his passing.

Hi julien. I lost my dad to suicide. He was 27 years old. I was 6 months old and my brother was 5 years old at the time. It wasn’t until I really grew up that I understood the gravitas of his death. It wasn’t until later on that I realised the sheer desperation of suicide when I myself felt like it was my only way out. I still struggle every day and there are times where I wish with my very core that I wasn't here. I've made plans. I've cried. I've walked out into the fields desperate for someone to make everything stop. Loss and grief takes years to come to terms with. I don’t think you ever truly get over it. I just think you learn to carry it, you learn to reconcile the heaviness of loss. Suicide especially is so difficult because it leaves you with so many questions. Painful, painful questions. It’s true what has already been said; you cannot stop someone from taking their own life. It’s not your battle and you could spend every day, every moment, reminding them they are not alone but that doesn't stop that painful desperation. We can only hope to understand it. For some of us, life is too much to endure. We can only hope that Brandon is at peace, even though you are left to deal with the fall out of it. Rest in peace, Brandon. May you finally be at peace from the darkness that lead you to make the decision you made. May you have the relief you were looking for. Be strong, julien. Suicide is such a difficult and gut wrenching thing to be a part of and the pain digs a hole in your chest and buries itself there for the rest of your life. But it leaves you with an understanding so deep and so important. Please keep your chin up. Dink dink. Xx

Hey, Julien. So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this. Its important to see the people affected by suicide as a person who struggles with suicidal thoughts myself. When the dark fog comes in its so hard to see the people that love you through it all. Your mind plays tricks on you and tells you nobody loves you. Mental illness and suicide touches everyone, it is so important to speak about. Take care of yourself