I found Maria's "independent strong woman" stance while at the same time saying that being seen in public paying for a couple's expense would shock her mother (and thus was a bad thing) to be confusing. She was obviously stepping way out of her cultural upbringing to be on the show and I didn't understand what parts of her culture she wanted to keep and honor and what parts she would be willing to compromise on. I found their breakup sad bc I think they actually made a good couple. Tom needed Maria's bright, shining personality and Maria needed Tom's grounded, good provider qualities. I wish they could have worked through their issues with a therapist and not made a snap, quick decision in a few weeks. As icky as Tom's judgement was about her career, it was his neurotic issue, as he admits, based on his childhood scarcity, and a therapist could have helped Maria with her anger over those comments. Oh well.....
I think the comments are a bit harsh, he's not cheap for letting a woman buy him an ice cream. I don't know why that was ever made into a big deal. And I agree that doing something like buying a drink or an ice cream after someone buys you a meal shows your appreciation.
There is a podcast where Maria explain the context of what happened. To be honest my view was similar to urs but after hearing the contexts. U will understand he is CHEAP
He claims equality in a society in which there is no such a thing. Will he put his work in second place if they have children and some kid needs special attention? Gender equality can only be possible, at some extent, if the couple does not have children. Besides, Maria claimed having a figure of a provider in order to build a family, which does mean she wouldn't work or contribute with the family's income. A lot of life lessons Tom needs to learn. He watched his mother struggle, he should want a different life to his partner.
I'd be happy being financially dependent on someone. I'm a 50 year old Nurse. Would have been 100% happy and fulfilled being a stay at home Mom. He needs to stop overthinking everything.
As a feminist, who despises the gender inequality, but respects chivalry in sense of the basic etiquette, Mr.Tom noone wants a cheap person, especially a man, regardless of cultural differences. And a man should pay or organize (money-free) the first few dates. Later on in the relationship - pays the one who has more funds.
starts with "despises the gender inequality" ends with stating expectations on men that clearly fall under gender roles and inequality. you can't fight for equality but demands certain things from men based on their gender... feminists want to have their cake and eat it too.
You asked all the right questions. I think this podcast was done very well - no interruptions, you gave him the space to speak and it was insightful. Thanks for sharing
Why do some guys hate women? Meanwhile, they are willing to pay all kinds of stuff to his friends. He doesn't want a partner, he wants someone to take the overload of a posh life behind his back, by paying half of the ticket.
yep pretty much. he's not rich but acts like it he just wants someone to add to his pockets to improve his lifestyle. He just doesnt have the money to support a family
When women choose a partner to marry and have a family with, we look for support. We need to feel fully safe and supported to be in the headspace to have kids. It doesn’t mean that a woman will never work a day in her life. Just that her husband can and will look after the family if shit hits the fan.
He is not emotionally or financially able or committed to be a husband and should never have been on the show. Maria was just another option to find fault with in the end, just like all his other app dates.
If he is finding it harder to date now. He should rethink his view on things cos whether u want a 50/50 relationship. Women look at ur approach to it. And as someone who works in PR he know that Makeup artist make a lot of money.
