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I love what he said. It's absolutely true. All I wanted was to be married. I am a 44 year old black woman who happens to be unmarried w/o children. To the black culture, I have failed as a woman. I am unmarried because I was picky, I put my career first, I have an attitude, my standards are too high...which all are untrue for me personally. I refuse to let anyone put me down or put me in a box. I am a beautiful, kind, fun, happy, loving woman with great friends, family and I happen to be unmarried. My non marriage status does not define my humanity. ❤ Not having a husband does mean I'm worthless or to be thrown away. My life is not perfect. There are moments where you desire companionship and that's ok. It doesn't mean that your single life is miserable. I say, life is hard at times either way. 🤷🏾♀️ It's what we choose to make of it. I choose to live in the moment and enjoy life. ❤
You have not surrendered that part of your life to God. Everything in a human there is a special thing God kept for himself to prove he is God that He gets all the glory. Not Self.
What Angel said is so real. Marriage has always been used as a weapon to oppress women, and the fact that it’s present in the church is actually a result of culture influencing the church.
Marriage is not a weapon. It's God's idea of love between a man and woman. It's why marriage is sacred and sealed in holy matrimony.. build a relationship with God and understand him before u listen to humans speak about it
@@k2klipz I didn't say that marriage is a weapon. I said it has been used as a weapon. The institution of marriage has been corrupted and moved away from the Lord's intentions, by the influence of culture on the church. That is just a fact. Actually, read what I said and understand the point I was trying to make before you make an assumption about my faith or my relationship with God.
Some of the same older women that judge stayed with a cheating husband and might be in a miserable marriage or they have multiple children by different men. They need to move on. I was happy single and now I am happily married. Enjoy life and serve God in every season of your life.
This the part they don't say. Singleness is not a disease and marriage is not the cure. Forcing folk to marry when they're not ready simply makes divorce inevitable. I'm in my 40s, single and childless. I didn't see an authentically happy marriage until my late 30s. Prior to that I was cool on that along with children. It's crazy that someone wants others to experience the hell they're silently enduring 😮
As a black 27 year old that just got their masters, I got more questions about being single and having kids than what my next career moves will be at my graduation party.
Congrats boo! You better do it! And also, as a black woman in her 30s with a masters as well, I would love to say that I don't get asked that either. Chillleeee we need Tshirts for this club, "LEAVE ME ALONE"
It’s crazy Bro! I am a woman, so you know mine is worse. I get way more questions about marriage and children of the amazing experiences. I have I’ve worked overseas in various industries. I’ve been on TV, etc., and that’s all some people even care about: “Did you marry and become a breeder?”
I brought this very topic up to a group I'm in on Facebook a couple of months ago. The greatest change in man & woman relationship in the last 100 years, women work. She no longer has to relie on her husband for survival anymore and have to put up with his behavior.
THIS ..... US, UK, JAPAN, AUSTRALIA. The PATRIARCHAL game has changed. As the great philosopher LIL KIM said "MONEY, POWER, RESPECT" 😂 adpat or get left behind
I was homeless, got into drugs, went into prisons, then i got to know Jesus, He changed my life.. Now i make 22k weekly. have a home, a wife, a lovely daughter... A child of God. HALLELUJAH
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my daughter's surgery (Joey). Glory to God.shalom.
In the Bible, Paul wasn't making a general statement about women's involvement in the Church. The context was of a conflict in the Church that started between Euodia and Syntyche, which then spread within the Church, and he was calling them out for it. If the intention of the Bible was for women not to be involved in ministry, then there would be no examples of women highlighted in Jesus' ministry. As with most things in the world, men hijack the word for their own power.
Right, women can be in ministry. They just were not called to preaching in the Bible, or having authority over men. Which is why we don't see women as apostles etc in the Bible. This does not mean our role is inferior in any way though
The Bible is a whole bunch of ppls perspectives, claims and narratives quite frankly. I believe in God but the "BOOK" was written by MEN, and the narratives have changed over centuries to fit What they want it to be to serve themselves. Sorry, not Sorry. #Deconstructing with logic from the craziness the Bible spews.
It's always interesting to hear Christians come to conclusions that the rest of us have known forever . The rest of us sinners been knowing this. but when we said it at we were wrong
I'm a child free unmarried black woman. I left the church almost a decade ago. 😩 Decentering men was the best decision for me. I love God, but all these so-called religions and societal expectations are NOT for me!
What God are you loving and how are you showing your love for Him? Since you've rejected "religion", is it just whatever you feel and God in your own image?
Question. Are you supposed to be a center to me? This is a problem within the black community. We as a people do a lot of “bitch ass” crying and making it seem like everybody in our community are bad for each other and we need to have single parent households and a bunch of sorry people.
My thing is why does everyone assume you want to get married?? Slip up and tell someone you been together for over 5 years and they start preaching about marriage and etc
This this this!!!!!! Like people look at you crazy putting their timeline on your relationship. Like how’s me being married affecting your life??🤔🤔 😂😂😂 it’s crazy. They come up with scenarios. When in actuality we just chilling 😂❤
From a Christian perspective, if someone has been dating for 5+ years, I'm gonna assume they're behaving like "more than friends". And if they're telling me they believe in the word of God, I'd expecting them to want to stop sinning. Marriage is one way to do that (and usually preferred over breaking up)
@@aisherwasher6959 you can assume all you want to sis. God's timeline for everyone is different. Some people get married after a year, some after 3-5. So if it takes me 6 years instead of the "normal" 4 to get a master's degree, does that mean I'm a failure or I'm stupid because I took longer? Not necessarily, something or things could have happened that took me off track, it's not always immediately about our destination, it's the journey, God doesn't have us only go through ups, because then we wouldn't appreciate it.
@@Flow_Easy let me rephrase since you didn't like me using "assume". People can take all the time they want to get married (or not get married at all), but if they're sinning in a relationship and acting married when they're not, they will need to explain to God why they felt emboldened to disobey Him when the time comes. If someone doesn't believe in God, they can do whatever they want on Earth, but since Christianity was brought up, I'm hoping to catch some Christians who missed the memo
Yep. Same with other things too. WHO was the last president that wasn’t married? It’s like a stipulation you have to be married to even be considered for president it’s weird
Absolutely. For President or vice president we need you to be in a stable marriage. Not dating around and trying to find the one. Not bringing one night stands, boyfriends and girlfriends up in the White House lol
I think what Kirk said is further proof that the idea of marrying for love is a relatively new and novel one and it's my prayer that this drives a fresh conversation about what marriage should be.
WOW. This discussion between Angel and Kevin is very eye opening pertaining to the dynamics of hetero relationships in our modern day society. This conversation just made me realized why we seem to be moving backwards in terms of the agency politicians are attempting to have over the bodies of women (i.e. abortion laws) but I digress chile...
God constituted the first marriage between Adam and Eve for him to be his helper and enjoy life on Earth together....the way ppl view marriage from the beggining til now is crazy.
@@dpeon242Jacob was tricked into two wives, Esau married foreign women his family was against, David was given Saul’s daughter by God and then he decided to have multiples, Solomon was told the rule but then went out to get foreign wives and concubines and God made sure to remind us in the New Testament that it is one man and one woman.
I agree with Kirk, but disagree with Angel. In the Christian worldview, Paul gives the theology of marriage and the dynamics of the marriage relationship. The Biblical perspective on marriage supports the concept that a person's marital status does not make them more or less holy before God.
Christianity/religion uses pretty much everything as a “weapon” but yall not ready for that convo. If you’re religious good for u but don’t go about telling other people they are bad people because they don’t prescribe to the same thing u do. So weird to me
@@Damnitjim7Actually, his Bible gives us the permission to do so since it claims that he created all of us in his image. So, do we blame him for creating us to be this way? Please, don't bring up freewill. God either intentionally created flawed beings which would make him not a perfect being like y'all claim, or he's just evil for creating flawed human beings.
It would appear that all institutions "use" (weaponised is strong) marriage to further their cause. In my church, family is promoted over most things. The married with children are the voices you constantly hear. It's as if God is not leading the single person. I'm over 60 and just now standing my ground as single person, amidst those that have no existence out of "family" and live vicariously through their children. It's exhausting, frustrating and a bore for me.
I'm going through all the motions, and I'm trying not to get polarized by the language because there is a lot of nuances here. But God has always been clear about his plans for marriage. It's supposed to be about God's will, and love, and baring fruits (children and fruits of the spirit). The INTENT was not just to benefit a man or save a woman from desperation/ low status, but rather a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. Unfortunately, as humans who sin, it is easy to judge one another and place marriage on a high pedestal that misrepresents how worthy or qualified a person is. Christianity didn't do that, our perverted nature did that (and by perverted, I mean corrupted or distorted from its original course, meaning, or state). So, when we talk about "Christianity has weaponized..." we have to be careful in our language. I think Kirk and Angel are describing idolization and perversion of God's plans, which is common through bible stories and what we see in the world today. As Christians, you cannot put your marriage above God. He has to be at the center. We indulge ourselves with the gift and forget about the Giver so quickly. I have not watched the entire episode, so Kirk could have added a lot or more context.. just my thoughts on this short clip.
Not to dismiss what you have said, because you did speak truth about what marriage is supposed to be under God’s plan, but definitely watch the interview with Cam and Kirk. I believe Kirk spoke a little more on it. Christianity under the guise of speaking for God have absolutely weaponized marriage against women, because the message more so is to women and how worthless they are if they are not in that environment, and especially if they are older than 30. Idols absolutely are weapons because you can manipulate people to do what you want. The message from the pulpit to men about marriage is appearing way less than it does to women.
I also think the church stresses marriage because many are aware of how strong sexual temptation is regarding fornication. If you're married, then fornication and having babies don't have a chance to discredit you as a role model for those you minister. That's why the Christian church stresses marriage. Not because they think it brings you closer to God.
The origins of marriage were not to oppress women. God created marriage and He did not create it for women to be oppressed in the union. Please read what the Bible has the say about marriage and what it is a representation of.
i love how many times he tells the story of getting the one rude awakening that melissa does a LOT so he needs to stop assumin she gon assume the role over ALL the domestic stuff 😂😂😂
Like most cultural Christians, with zero Bible knowledge and only feelings, the goal here was to speak to the emotions of people and not the message of God's blueprint. Also, in the black community, marriage has been devalued so much that we think when it's exalted it's weaponized. I am a single black male and i have kicked the can of singleness down the road so far, with my 250K earnings and even works for The Body, i am potentially unsuitable because i am mad selfish AND i am so used to breaking my abstinence, i do have concerns about how i would steward a wife. that aside, i KNOW i was supposed to be married and i realize that while some make it an idol, that union is EXTREMELY important to God and it was one of the first unions he ever created in humans. I want black folk to STOP listening to "Christians" that do not know how to and are not trying to examine the text, remain true to God's blueprint but rather speak to your emotions. I also want us to return to being student's of God's word. I also pray that we get back to families and that more of us will pursue what God calls good and beautiful, in our youth, because, HE said it was good. later
1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19:12 to start. There is such a delicate tension around this subject and it feels like instead of talking about what the scriptures say in totality you’re centering yourself and what you believe God has told you to do into this conversation. No one said that marriage isn’t important, but Jesus was clear that it wasn’t for everyone. I have so many more questions about your entire comment, but it’s not my place to pry so I’m going to leave it. Ultimately, as a brother in Christ I truly hope you’re able to run the race you’ve been called to.
There are a lot of advantages to being single and childless. I am sure the same is true for the married and married with children people too. Make the most of your situation. Don't have to judge others.❤
I witnessed what Kirk Franklin was talking about. There was a person at my church who wanted to help the youth group but the church was extremely suspicious of her because she was divorced from her husband. As much as she had life experience and Biblical knowledge she was seen like the worst person to lead teens. There's such a hyper focus on being married and having kids in churches and sometimes churches don't even discuss the issues and complications that come with those major life decisions. It just feels like they just want a full sustainable church.
I was always under the belief that since women no longer see men as a necessity, it gave men more freedom to live out a greater purpose in life. “Struggling” isn’t an accurate word at all. At this point, the only concern I have is what will the youth become as we continue to have children with people we’re not even connected with.
Yes… there is way more to it. Even in the word of God there were loving relationships that were talked about. The truth is human beings put lots of negativity to it. Ownership, control etc. Women could not get credit in their own names until the 1970s. That was an “us” thing, not God. Another thing is people need to check the churches they attend and not throw all churches in that. I can say my Pastor does not role like this at all. Lastly, could it be that it’s evolving to where it needs to be? In the word of God he never created women to be less than, that was us (meaning people).
First let's be clear, we have to careful when we speak about religion verses being a follower of Jesus Christ. Not the same. God is the author and finisher of our faith and us period. So when we start taking His Word and distorting it with traditions, emotions and even witch craft is where the issues start. Study the Word where it concerns marriage. Stop listening to man (including yo mama and grandma) and do what God says.
Marriage is a covenant established, maintained and protected by God. It is such a beautiful blessing and has been so edifying. I thank God for His Word which is true. Please dont let anyone tell you what marriage is. Seek God and read the Word. Marriage is BEAUTIFUL
Modern thinking and past sinful marriages... Have completely ruined the sanctity of marriage. This is not what God wanted. Marriage is 2 people becoming one...No one s/b talking bout im independent in an interdependent relationship. Both are needed to have children. Both or 3 or 4 incomes are needed to help with the bills and advance in life and provide a good future for the children. The story that Kev was telling at the end, he worked a full shift, got stuck in traffic. Melissa was a loving wife and did what needed to be done with the kids and started on dinner. What Kev shouldve done was said. "Baby i got stuck in traffic, thanks for getting dinner ready. You need me to help wit the kids home work?" Melissa: "No i already got it" Kev: "Thanks babe, i really appreciate you... lmma get the table prepped and go get myself together in the back for a few minutes. And tbh, he prob has reacted this way 39 times out of 40 and if Kev lived closer to his job, he should pick up the slack. If Kev was to change the break pads on the family car in 100 degree weather and came inside for a wrench or screwdriver he left somewhere... Melissa: "Goodness baby you're sweating! I know its hot out there, lemme get you a glass of cold water. I appreciate you for doing this" Kev: thank you hun... THIS IS MARRIAGE!!! It doesnt make a woman less of a woman because you love and appreciate/ desire/ and need a man. Btw, we need to define what the heck being "used" means. Because i never think anything I do for my wife is being used and nor does she. We love each other and we do things for each other without question. We really need to change the perception of marriage and go back to the way God always meant it to be
None of that happened. Read their book or listen to the full Patreon, if you have the $5 available to spend. Kevin complained that a meal wasn't waiting for him when he arrived at home that day; Melissa quickly rebuked him, citing the fact that she ALSO worked full-time, just like her husband. As such, she then told him that he should/would make sure food was ready for everyone from that point forward. Kevin quickly realized his error and apologized profusely for his selfishness and truncated thinking. He realized that his notion of having a meal ready for him was based on the model of a woman whose husband's income and provision didn't require her to work. Her duties, therefore, could be dedicated to the home that he provided for them. Barring a man's ability to do that-in addition to him providing full access to money for his wife to regularly purchase her own trinkets, all household and child rearing duties are split in half, in order to maintain a happy marriage that makes it easy for divorce to remain off the table. I'm not sure why you would try to purposefully discolor and fabricate Kevin's story otherwise, Brother. We're his community and we've heard him tell this story numerous times at the church meetings and family cookouts.
@user-bk1rw8ox6r in what way did i discolor or fabricate? All i did was draw up a more positive scenario to the story that he presented on this podcast 🤨. I also stressed the importance of working together in a marriage and not being selfish in my other examples. Hence why i said... Being independent in a marriage is not good.
@MrCantfindanynames - Sibling in Christ, it is a sign of poor leadership and equally poor character when a person is blind to their own actions. I'll help. YOU wrote [direct quotes, uncorrected for grammar]: "The story that Kev was telling at the end, he worked a full shift, got stuck in traffic. Melissa was a loving wife and did what needed to be done with the kids and started on dinner. What Kev shoul've done was said. "Baby i got stuck in traffic, thanks for getting dinner ready. You need me to help wit the kids home work?" Melissa: "No i already got it"' Kev: "Thanks babe, i really appreciate you... And tbh, he prob has reacted this way 39 times out of 40..." YOU go on to further project YOUR notions of marriage into his story when YOU wrote: "THIS IS MARRIAGE!" Respectfully, whose marriage? None of what you wrote has come from Kevin nor Melissa's mouth at any time. Your tall tales aren't in their book either. This is your own flight of fancy, poorly executed, to bolster your own propaganda of your desirable marital scripts. What you wrote doesn't describe their marriage in any way. Anyone who has applied themselves to listening [to Kevin OR his wife, Melissa, via their podcasts] for total comprehension understands that Kevin and Melissa do not agree with anything you have laid out. Melissa has led their marriage at times. Kevin has been the homemaker and child rearing parent, while Melissa worked, for a time. His entire community lovingly knows that Kevin wouldn't know what a car break was, let alone changing one himself. Changing car brakes is yet another scenario you haphazardly projected onto Kevin. If you are trying to describe your fantasy, you could have done so honestly and with transparency. Doing that wouldn't have placed your integrity or respectability into question. Instead, you tried to lean on Kevin's extremely positive reputation and Kevin's ability to influence in order to fabricate a lie that is so easily dismantled by anyone who has viewed a couple of Kevin's videos. Kevin and his real wife of 20+ years wrote a book on marriage. It is a N.Y. Times bestseller, several times over. Clearly, the masses care and actually listen to them concerning marriage. If anyone ever buys what you're selling, assuming you convince a publisher and physical book stores to sell your mere thoughts, you'll know that at least one person cares about your marital imagining. I mention physical bookstores because I purchased their book from its large, front of store placement inside Barnes & Noble. It seems you wanted to feel that important as well, if only inside of the imaginary void of the internet. Hope that helps. In the event that it doesn't, I acknowledge your decision to remain outside of respectability and integrity while I remain inside of it. I can't venture into your territory any further without risk of being stuck there with you.
Agenda? Poor leaderships? Poor character? Lol, you dont know anything about me, outside of a post on RU-vid lol. Btw, i highly doubt we are siblings in Christ. But with that being said... I see that you think none of my words relate to what they are talking about and with that i will end our conversation because it would take too long to put time stamps on when Kevin said he wasnt used to driving and it took him a long time to get home and he was frustrated and he said his wife was cooking and getting the kida together and then said: dinner isnt ready yet? Im not going to time stamp the individual, independent mentality that he and Angela were talking about and Im also just going to ignore the topic completely that Kirk Franklin with... the title, Church has weaponized marriage. There is soooooo much in that statement alone but im just going to leave here because my words obviously have nothing to do with the topic or discussion that is being talked about. Have a nice day, i wont call you names or anything or question your character or anything like that. I just dont have the time to explain to you. Nice conversating with you and have a nice day
I disagree with Angel. Marriage was a blessing for a lot of women back in the day because it provided them security. The problem wasn't marriage but the lack of rights that women had. Marriage was a safe haven for many. To say it was primarily used to make them the property of men is a mischaracterization of the truth
For everyone saying what about the Bible & what God says & God instituting marriage in the Garden of Eden: The first marriage was because it wasn’t good for the MAN to be alone. Woman was created as a helper to the man. That doesn’t make us less than & doesn’t negate that we were made in God’s image, but it does say that the institution of marriage is FIRST to benefit the man. PLUS the church & society at large has weaponized the institution that didn’t have the woman’s mutual benefit as its first aim. Then here y’all come beating folks over the head with the Bible, simultaneously making & missing the whole point! SMH
Pretty sure He said that because man was created first. So everyone has a partner and not Adam so God said it wasn't right. Because we were not made to be alone. Don't make it seem like it was because Adam was a man.
I think it's important to make the distinction of when "man" is being used as "mankind" or "human" vs. describing a male. The word "man" is not always gendered in the Bible. The first chapter of Gensis already reveals that it was God's plan to create man, "male and female" in His image. So, when you fast forward to when He says it is not good for man to be alone, it is referring to mankind. So, context is important.
Ppl be married so they can enjoy sex without the consequence of breaking commandments, if they are remaining faithful to one another. But opening Pandora’s box can still remain in the couple’s relationship. It’s like if your single don’t masturbate or have sex, that’s where I feel it being weaponized come into play.
I understand what Kirk was trying to say, but he should be careful with these type of messages. 75% of Black Women are not married. These numbers are going to increase tremendously in the future. Is he correct about the church weaponizing marriage? Of course! But it weaponizes everything else as well. But moving on…
Here is a thought: men prefer women who need them for this reason... when women need something, they will instantly take care of it. There is no waiting on it to be handled. It gets handled right then. Also, men and women are raised differently. Men are raised to be steadfast. Women are raised to evolve.
I'm confused. Black people barely get married as is. Most of our children do NOT have the benefit and stability of two parents. Most black women do NOT have the benefits of a man that is committed to them for LIFE. Where exactly are we overcommitted and overvaluing the saved covenant of marriage that GOD created? I understand this is for views and entertainment though. I do think the message to men that marriage must be mutually beneficial and that they must add value to the wife as well is a crucial discussion but don't demonize marriage❤
You guys are super entertaining and very funny but I respectfully disagree. God’s design is one thing and humanity’s practices is another. Marriage was designed by God and its was for man and woman to become one(Gen 2:24). Man has always distorted God’s design. Just because its in the bible doesn’t mean God is condoning the behavior.
I'm going to do what you do, not what you say. Y'all both happily married, deeply loved and in love, glowing and thriving in your God lead marriage. That's what I'm sticking with. 27 years in with my boo. God please bless marriage to spread and thrive in the black community. Transition is from baby mama/daddy culture and provide stable, fulfilling marriages in our community so that we may glorify You. In Jesus Name Amen
Marriage is honorable❤ I thank God for the institution HE created. I'm ready to see it exhalted, especially in the black community. black love for the win❤
Angels initial thoughts that marriage was for men to have a woman to be his property is opposite of Gods design in Genesis. Eve was free to make her own choices. Not property. They met each others needs and rid Adam of loneliness also. You can’t be one with property. The world distorted that.
Thank you. God's design for marriage is beautiful. Sin messed it up but we can say that about everything. Wish people could make the distinction between God's design and man made religion. I'm a Christian and I'm NOT religious.
If you’re not married and having sex it is a sin. If that is what you want to do that is fine just know that you claiming to be Christian does not make you one ❤❤❤❤
Why do we act like women don't need men and men don't need women???? It's not a flex. We actually need each other in VARIOUS ways that are beneficial to our lives. To say that you would want a man and not need him tears at the fabric of healthy relationships. And this is not co-dependency. It's realizing how the opposite provides something for your life that can't be replaced no matter how hard you try. Be happy and whole being single. But let's not negate that men and women are parts of a whole that are supposed to be a benefit to each other in critical ways. There's a reason why there is no other sanctification tool used by the Lord that is better.
Kirk is a certified fool. Even y'all plop the scripture he waa referring was most likely taken out of context which means the whole chapter needs to be red. This was interesting tho....
