I'd like to point out that Jack says that the world is headed towards World War III, while he's talking to a *time traveler from the future*... A future where the entire world has been united by AOL, and there's no mention of any major wars in the past 3000 years at all.
"I hope you step on a LEGO brick in the middle of the night." LINKARA! Shame on you! You forgot to specify them being barefoot and on a hardwood floor for maximum pain.
Wait... you're implying that being first doesn't grant immortality? Then what is the point of being first on all those RU-vid videos for?! Was it all in vain? Dammit Marville, you lied to me.
That moment where Linksano flips MARVILLE the bird for saying that scientists are not very scientific is absolutely hilarious. Plus I took anthropology for my Freshman year of college, so I can flip MARVILLE the bird for that one as well!
I'm not a student of anthropology, nor do I know any anthropologists (that I know of), but may I have your permission to flip Marville the bird for that jab anyway? Because I firmly believe that Bill Jemas deserves every ounce of ridicule and hatred that we as a species can give him.
SO... wolverine isn't actually immortal, his immortality is a metaphor herein for him being the progenitor of the human race. BUT THEN HE IS ALSO IMMORTAL AND STANDING THERE 50,000 YEARS LATER Can something be both figurative and also literal? Head hurts....
Fun fact: I have a bachelor's in physical anthropology-human evolution and the like. My review of this comic would be just a breakdown scored to "Combine Harvest" so I'm very glad Linkara's doing it
100 years from now Linkara will raise himself from the grave just so he can explain to the people of the future, how dumb this comic is. Immortality born out of sheer anger. ;)
29:37 "...I hope you step on a lego brick in the middle of the night." That is one of the most genius things I've ever heard. Mostly non-lethal, throws you off, and hurts like hell... kinda like this comic.
"...the DNA code for this sequence -- it would fill three telephone books. You think that happened by random mutation followed by a struggle for survival?" I don't usually yell at the screen, but this dialogue managed to make me yell "YES! YES!". I guess I had a sample of what Linkara felt while reading through this whole malarkey.
"Do you think monkeys could type out the genetic code for Shakespeare? That's only about a million times more complex" ~ Micky (Vicky?) I mean, if a 13 year old girl could write out the genetic code of an omnipotent god-like being... then sure, why couldn't monkeys write out the genetic code of Shakespeare? (oh, and the trolls each wrote out parts of the genetic code for an OMNISCIENT god-like being. And they were also 13 years old.)
Every single time someone tries to argue against evolution/Big Bang, they jump at the "odds" of such an event occurring, ignoring that just because something is highly improbable doesn't mean it doesn't happen, or else no one would ever win the lottery.
I have a theory that might make this comic make, a little, more sense. see I think jack is not god, or even a voice of god type of thing, but he is A god. more specifically, a trickster god, a powerful being who use his powers to basically play pranks on mortals.(think some versions of Loki, mxyzptlk and batmite from DC, Q from star trek, discord from friendship is magic, sect...) soil imagine this reality warper just hanging around the time of creation, bored out of his metaphysical skull, when 3 morons from the future show up, wanting to know the meaning of life. well jack decides these 3 should be good 4 a laugh, so he just starts spouting nonsense like body heat coming from spines, to see if they call him out on it, and inwardly laughing when they just go along with it. and it would make sense for a character like mxysptlk or discord to use their powers to make talking Jewish dinosaurs, or turning otters into clones of Logan, purely to screw with an idiot like all. in fact I think jack was in all of marville, just in different forms. he took the form of Alan Greenspan in issue 1 just to screw with all. rush Limbaugh in issue 2? jack took that form, and made constructs of iron man, black panther, and batman, just to screw with al. kingpin spike lee? jack in disguise, with punished and spidey clones, just to screw with al. the cop who kept giving al money? you guessed it jack screwing with him. in the future jack even tricked the government into making a community of clones of ancient celebrities,( Hence Ted turner + Jane Fonda still being around in 5002) which would lead to al. just so jack would have someone to screw with:)
I must say, I am quite impressed on how you made a plausible explanation for this mess of a series. Everything that had been said and done was all because of this Jackass (pun-intended). Well done, my friend. Still such an atrocious comic for screwing us around and acting as if this was truth.
BE AFRAID MY FRIEND, due to the theory of the many worlds, it means there is a universe where all that bullcrap is actualy truth (and i am sure bill jemas' wet dream is living in that universe)
Also, yyyyyeah, I'm wondering about the whole 'not understanding fantasy vs. reality' thing. Unless Jemas is a huge troll and pulling our legs, that is a very worrisome delusion he's under...
+TPrower After watching SF Debris's videos on comic history, I honestly have no idea. I'm not sure if he thought that Marville told the actual truth about the origins and meaning of life (like anyone with half a brain would know that it does not), but he hated Marvel fans. He was the one pushing pornish covers (and publicly saying that most comic book fans are only buying them to jerk off on Electra covers. No, really. He did say that.) And he also tended to burn bridges with a LOT of people including writers (he once accused most of the popular writers of the 90s who worked at Marvel of having their book ghostwritten and being only there for the rewards.) The bet came when Peter David challenged Bill Jemas over his treatment of writers and Jemas accused him of writing only 2 or 3 good books a year (despite his Captain Marvel being critically acclaimed). I know I pretty much repeated what SF Debris said, but this is information worth knowing. Bill Jemas was Vice-President of Marvel, but (no surprise here), he was absolutely terrible at it. I only gave the abridged version of the events. I'm still not sure if he actually believed all this crap, but there's no denying that his Donald Trump-esque ego was real.
+TPrower I actually don't know what to think. Can this be real? I'd love to believe it isn't, that it was supposed to be a joke. But, I can't shake the feeling it's serious.
A taxi driver, a police officer and random time traveling kid- FROM THE FUTURE- are famous. For what? Catching Spike Lee? Writing a book? Becoming the New Guardians?
+POLE7645 It does not sum it up properly. This comic and its content rapes space, time, and matter. It offends all senses. Satan would not accept it in exchange for your soul and not let you into hell for making a torture worse than anything he could create. God would not let you enter into heaven for having putting it into production and defiling creation. Cthulu would be jealous and angry for having devised a tone more maddening than the Necronomicon and making him look bad. Chuck Norris would punch you repeatedly for all eternity for being the author of this at every angle. The US government would pardon Lee Harvey Oswald on grounds of mental incompetence due this thing existing and then rebuild him as a killer cyborg with the implicit mission to destroy every copy of this abomination and kick the head of Marvel's testicle out through his anus. It makes Two Girls One Cup an artistic masterpiece by sheer comparison and is a crime against humanity, the afterlife, and alternate dimensions. To sum it up, "There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery."
My favourite part of this review: Kaiba: Why are they white? Yami Yugi: What? Kaiba: They're ancient cavemen living in Africa, why are they white? Yami Yugi: Kaiba, stop activating the race card and listen: it's just Marville.
You know...the fight where the cavemen kicked each other in the crotch is way more serious than was likely intended, losing the ability to produce offspring was really bad back then, not to mention negative in the context of the...weird evolution themes in the comic.
I asked a question elsewhere once but never got an answer, so what the hell, I'll ask it again now: Does anyone know if Bill Jemas' degrees from Rutgers and Harvard are earned or honorary? I wonder about this because I have a difficult time believing that someone so seemingly well-educated would espouse the things found in "Marville." If his degrees were earned, then surely he must be an intelligent man...and yet the notions expressed in the series are so starkly antithetical to that. Is Jemas simply trolling us? What's the deal?
They appear legit, and while I WOULD comment that just because someone is college educated doesn't stop them from holding really idiotic views...his major was history and he had a minor in philosophy. He probably shouldn't be as misinformed as he is.
God, this comic hurt my brain. Just everything about it is wrong. The comic is correct that modern humans interbred with Neanderthals, but its portrayal of human genes being dominant on the whole is wrong. There was gene flow both ways, and anyone with ancestry outside of Subsaharan Africa can have anywhere from 3 to 5% Neanderthal DNA. Asians also have more Neanderthal DNA on average than Europeans. The reason for this is because Neanderthals were actually more active and genetically diverse in Asia than in Europe. Modern human populations also interbred with other species, such as the little understood Denisovans. People in Papua New Guinea have anywhere from 3 to 5% Denisovan DNA, for instance. The reason we still have so little overall is because most of the DNA from these species was not compatible with human DNA, so it was filtered out of the population overtime. The main issue for me, though, is its claim that we evolved from Neanderthals, and that human genes were spread through interbreeding with Neanderthals. We did not evolve from Neanderthals. They were analogous to cousins, rather than ancestors. Modern humans evolved in Africa. Neanderthals evolved in Asia and Europe from populations that had already left Africa. The period of time humans and Neanderthals interacted could have been as little as 5,000 years. Everything in this comic is so wrong and asinine it makes my brain explode.
I know it's years later, and if no one has noticed by now they're not really gonna care, but something at 24:49 caught my eye and I'm surprised Linkara didn't pick up on it. "Come to think of it the whole Wolverine legend ties in-- his claws, his squat build, his heightened instincts. His 'Origin' was hidden from him, just like mankind's 'Origin' has been hidden from us _(until Jemas came along)_." Let's highlight that again: "UNTIL JEMAS CAME ALONG". Is this a note from the editor that forgot to be separated out? Or is Al aware of his writer and how he's meddling with history? Or is this simply proof that Jemas seriously believes that he is the arbiter of the TRUE nature and origin of humanity??? the presence of that aside honestly /baffles/ me.
Seems like a plug for Origins, the Wolverine origin story miniseries that co-wrote, which is remarkably not as stupid as Marville, but it's a BAD plug.
I really hate to defend anything in this comic, but the key word for 16:13 is "fertile" ligers, tigons, mules, etc. are almost always infertile or sterile.. HOWEVER, there are extremely rare cases of fertile crossbreeds across species, so the comic is still wrong.
I'd argue that the exceptions are very rare, so the general statement is still correct. Technically. Even a broken clock is right once or twice a day... Let's pray it stays that way. I feel dirty giving Marville any credit... -_-
@@sablelioness Don't. Because Even though Mickey is right, Marville is still wrong because they're DISPROVING the fact that you can't have crossbred fertile species. Plus Mickey is supposed to the person sorta against Jack's nonsense.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Now does this apply to science, evolution, dinosaurs, Neanderthals, humans, or genetics? ...seriously, basic Wikipedia searching can correct so many errors here it's ridiculous. WHERE did Jenson get his info from??? This is like a horrid mash-up of many different real theories and different stories. The genetic code thing seems to be flat-out Assassin's Creed memory thing here, and there's a couple of other things that seem to come from fiction, not anything in reality...
Tigerlady248 When watching this review I kept expecting the comic to bring up other 19th and 20th century pseudoscience theories. Like the ridges and bumps in our heads determining our intelligence and personalities, and that black people have three small bumps in the back of their skulls that make them subservient in nature. Or that cocaine makes black people bullet proof. And that cannabis will turn you into an axe murderer.
I think we can assume that Bill Jemas was drinking, bashed his head against concrete a few times, and then dropped a gallon of acid before writing this.
"Let me get this straight." Linkara: Oh, why start now?" "Are you an X-man or an..." "He's an ex-otter-- he's the first animal to mutate into a human." Linkara: Okay, 1. NO. 2. GAWD NO. 3. That was a terrible pun! 4. NO! NO! NO! 5. What the hell was Mickey trying to say before Lucy interrupted?!
15:22 So, fun fact: since this video was originally posted, more genetic research into the Neanderthal genome has been published, and has determined pretty conclusively that, not only *could* Neanderthals have interbred with ancient Homo sapiens, but they *absolutely* did. I love how, the more actual science is conducted, Marville somehow keeps getting even worse.
Marville: "The problem with scientists is that they're not very scientific." *Insert Sandy Cheeks, Susan and Mary Test, Princess Bubblegum, Tails the Fox, Donatello, Sheldon Cooper, Dexter, and Bill Nye giving this comic one giant middle finger*
chaotixninja5 Don't also forget Dr. Emmett Brown, Billy Cranston the original Blue Power Ranger, Dr. Brief and Bulma, Ami Mizuno (Sailor Mercury), Ross Geller, Winifred Burkle, Spider-Man, Batman - Batman's a scientist (MARGE SIMPSON: it's not Batman!) -, and Entropy the Compassionate Supervillain.
I know this is an old video, but...so Jack scoffs at the idea of tribal chiefs having multiple wives, but then Wolverine, the chief of his tribe, has 8 wives. What?
Marvel has made many, many, many, mannnnnnnmnnnnnnnny dumb choices throughout its history. This guy being their VP is hardly surprising. That the company is still afloat is nothing short of a Christmas mircale for their fans.
Go watch SF Debris' "Rise and Fall of the Comic book Empire." He does a really good job covering the nightmare that was the corporate side of Marvel comics in the 90s.
+RenjiMaili Just... *WHY*... For a company, they are to support and please their customers, their fans, NOT become assholes and be American Psycho levels malicious (okay, not Amercan Psycho, but metaphors). It's like Konami, but with comic books!
18:16 Here's the expanded scientific answer to why hybridization is blocked. I'm going to sound like my college biology professor, so bear with me: They don't interact with each other in nature at all They have different breeding patterns like different mating seasons Their mating rituals are different from the ones of other species Morphological differences. Vaginas and penises differ in terms of anatomy between species The sperm isn't able to pierce the egg Now onto why hybrids sometimes fail: Genes of one parent clash with genes of the other which impairs development and life expectancy Sterility from being a hybrid The hybrid just breaks down and dies This has been a dose of biology no one asked for.
@@emac94 Honestly, I'd rather read any issue of Marville than watch any of Seltzerberg's movies. At least Marville has enough decency to not make crude jokes.
The fact Bill Jemas graduated from Harvard and with all the stupid weird science theory being mentioned makes me wonder if Harvard's standards slipped recently.
If Wolverine is the first human and he's getting it on as frequently as this comic implies, wouldn't Homo sapiens quickly evolve into a race of immortals countless millennia ago? Seems to me like his healing factor would be something that EVERY generation of the ladies would want to pass on to their kids.
Something i realized while re-watching this. Al is from 1000 years in the future. Meaning that for him World War 3 is ancient history. Meaning that even IN UNIVERSE this entire comic is completely pointless because the lesson Jack is trying teach about using world peace to prevent WWIII doesn't matter because humanity survives WWIII just find.
Or the writer accidentally introduced a predestination paradox. Specifically, Al's future exists because he went back in time and stopped WWIII. I don't think Jemas did it intentionally, because that would require him to have some level of intelligence and forethought when writing this.
I remember the first time I watched this one, the stupidity of this as the review kept going and going just kept making my headache worse. Definitely one of the dumbest things I've ever read, but it sure makes for a great review.
14:45 Kaiba: Why are they White? Yami: What? Kaiba: They're ancient cavemen living in Africa, Why are they White? Yami: Kaiba stop activating the Race Card and listen, Its just marville.
24:49 What Al says is even more bizarre, saying Wolverine is immortal because he's "legendary" (i.e. Famous). He also says Bill Jemas showed the readers the true origin of mankind (egotistical to say the least)
"It took God 200 million years to figure out..." The idea of God trying to figure out how to get a result and not being able to do it for millions of years is giving me a Crisis of Faith.
Being honest here... this comic makes me laugh with how stupid the “logic” in this series is. It’d actually be hilarious if this was still the parody comic.
When encountering bad media, I try to figure out the reasoning behind the choices made; usually, I can figure out this reasoning. The only ones that have stumped me are Uwe Boll and Marville.
Every time Neanderthal women are depicted as the mothers when interbreeding ... I just can't help but laugh imagining the scenario play out... "Who is that enchanting creature? She's not like other women... With her 'come hither' gaze from under her protruding brow. That coy smile from her jutting underbite. The way she swings those stocky, hairy, child-bearing hips... I-I think I'm in love!" 😆😂🤣
I was actually one of the commenters of the old blog of Issue #4 being like “this has to still be a parody comic” albeit as half a joke, judging by how serious Jenas sounds though my impression is that he’s one of those weird creationists
My guess is that the whole "chief superior genes lots of wives" thing was an attempt to reference some kinda iffy hypotheses in evolutionary psychology. There are attempts to explain human social organization from looking at how Chimpanzee troops come into being, but that stuff very quickly becomes very muddled because we frankly have no idea how very early homo sapiens ordered their social groups, or indeed if they had any kind of common structure across the population at all. In any case it's a stupidly simplistic idea. For example, there are plenty of hunter-gatherer groups that do not have chiefs. There are also lots of societies with chief or chief-like social positions that do not practice polygamy. And certainly, most societies with chiefs do not select them based on some kind of physical/genetic superiority, but over a whole host of different reasons that can range from age and experience and personality, to simply being in line through some kind of chiefly clan, or indeed just being the richest, most generous guy around. Lastly, it ignores the more abstract aspects of the concept of marriage, such as using marriage between different groups as a tool to avoid conflict and create alliances, or as part of traditional patterns of exchange. For example, the group that "gets" a wife (or husband) might be required to give something in return (can be anything really, including being obligated in providing a suitable partner in return, so a wife for a wife, for example). So yeah, it's just stupid and badly misleading.
If that did happen, can she clarify that scientific fact that Mickey spat out because I want to know if she and Jemas are dumbasses or Linkara made a screw up about the liger. Edit: Never mind, Mickey was right though that just makes Jack more of an ass along with Jemas.
D.A.: "According to my research-you're an idiot" Arnold: "I knew I should have gone to school today so I wouldn't be reading this" Phoebe: "At my old school, we had actual facts in our books"
So i did some quick looking into the species thing "A species is defined as organisms that produce fertile offspring but this is sometimes limited as some organisms do not always reproduce sexually, and some hybrids are fertile." So it turns out the comic is mostly right about different species having infertile offspring when mating but there are exceptions to the rule. But if Linkara is right, which i think he is, that Neanderthals and humans are different subspecies of the same overall species then the fact about fertile offspring is not applicable. Source: www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/science/edexcel/classification_inheritance/classificationrev5.shtml
18:50 Uh, I thought God created the Earth in six days. Not 200 million. And if you do believe in god, isn't this selling him kinda short? Saying that he had to sit around piecing everything together bit by bit? That's without getting into the fact that that number has the old "pulled from writer's ass" stench about it.
"No living scientist has ever witnessed evolution." Neither have *you* Bill Jemas, so maybe you shouldn't have put that line in as if you were *personally* there to witness the dawn of man! 😠😒
I find it hilarious that Jack couldn't stop the meteor that killed the dinosaurs in the same series where Ted Turner chops a meteor in half with his bare hands.
One of the things that I found interesting about the Web Comic "Adventures of God" is that it portrays God as a short sighted bald alcoholic who means well but can occasionally be petty and irrational. While this is mostly done for humor during one of the comics it's implied that God acts this way as a consequence of the massive pressures and stress that comes with being an all knowing and all powerful entity that decides who shall live and who shall die. It truly is a testament to how shitty that Marville is that a Comedy Webtoon that has a running joke about a religion that believes Jesus is a lizardman has more interesting philosophy.
So, Bill Jemas actually co-authored Origin, the true origin story of Wolverine, with Joe Quesada and Paul Jenkins. I am wondering if he barely contributed along with Joe and that Paul Jenkins did pretty much everything.
As for humans and neanderthals interbreeding? That happened if I remember correctly hairy backs on men and lactose intolerance is something you can get from your Neanderthal ancestor. Fun fact: Homo erectus still lived when Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens lived... and they also interbred. So Modern Man is actually a mutt species of Sapiens/Erectus/Neanderthal.
I know this series is a cornucopia of awfulness that just keeps giving, but I’d like to take a moment to draw attention to Bill Jemas’ godawful attempts at conversational dialog (examples: “Good call!” “Check this!” “Gold star, Mickey!” “You got it, fan girl!”). Look, I know writing is hard, and writing dialog that sounds like real humans talking and not aliens doing bad human impersonations is hard, but this flows like a brick. If you read it out loud, it feels to my ears what breaking a tooth feels to my mouth.
I just stumbled upon this review watching these out of order and I'm wondering... could the 'Wolverine evolved from an otter' concept be a parody of the very early concept Marvel had about Wolverine mutating from a literal wolverine? They never actually took that line of canon of course, but they did actually consider it.
The only philosophical debate this series raises is how drunk, or stoned, or both, out of his skull Bill Jemas to think this series was ever a good idea.
I realise that a problem with this series (besides the obvious) is that this is a world with both Marvel comics _and_ the Marvel/DC super heroes in issue 2 and 5. This world is more confused on what's real and what's a comic than it should be.
Firstly, regarding the “different species can’t have fertile offspring,” that’s a dramatic oversimplification high school’s use. According to Scishow, we don’t actually have a clear understanding of where the line is between species in the same genus. Even mules, held up as the archetypal “sterile hybrid” will sometime have offspring. Secondly, in the last issue, Jack insisted that all animals view other creatures as either family or animals, so why Neanderthals kill Wolverine on sight? Oh, who am I kidding? Jemas is insane, and this comic is full of utter nonsense.
