Can I ask you what you would say to a woman in an abusive marriage - the man refuses to leave but continues in emotional and mental abuse. One minute things are ok and the next minute she a ‘idiot’ he says he wishes he married someone else. The ‘sorrys’ are all empty. She’s walking on egg shells. She’s petrified and she feels like her mental health is dying. She zones out with their daughter because it’s so difficult. One minute things are ok and the next minute he doesn’t even acknowledge her. He manipulates and twists reality and refuses to seek help.
Dear Costi, I’m having a hard time getting the absolute truth on remarriage after adultery. I’m the adulteress. My ex husband and I were in a very tumultuous marriage. Both Believers. But while I deeply strived for a stronger walk with Jesus, I was doing it alone. After 15 years, I became an alcoholic, and during a time of intoxication, I cheated. More than once. Of course, he wanted a divorce. And sadly, I was relieved. After endless prayers for God to intervene and keep the peace between my husband and I, the conflict, the worry, the pain and the fear were relentless. So, I destroyed my marriage in the end. Is it really true that I am to never remarry again? Hope u see this and provide a response. ❤
P.S. I am deeply remorseful and have repented of this devastating sin. It’s been six years and I still wrestle with the shame and hurt I caused. I’m so so so sorry.
Mike Winger has a 3 hour video I'm positive you will find helpful. I have a concern and that is "in vino veritas." In wine, truth. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. It doesn't cause new behaviours. For example, my alcoholic husband treating me with contempt more than usual while drunk. The contempt wasn't a new behaviour, it was one he indulged in with his lowered inhibitions. So have you addressed what caused your sin of infidelity? Is your esteem of faithfulness too low? Are you still hurting from childhood wounds? What was the motivation behind the infidelity? No, I don't need an answer and you certainly don't have to give a stranger on RU-vid an answer, but it's good to think about. From what I've read in the Bible, the marriage is destroyed by your sin. You are no longer bound to the marriage. You are free to remarry. However, sin grieves God, so it's super important to make sure you never cheat again. If what caused you to be vulnerable to that temptation, be it childhood wounds that caused a poor choice in a husband that made you even more desperate and/or angry, I recommend doing that before even dating. I'm working on childhood wounds that caused a bad choice in choosing a husband, so I'm going to solve that before dating, to prevent having to flee another marriage. Being single has been super peaceful.
There are multiple schools of thought on this but you honestly have to read the bible for clarification. It states that the breaker of the covenant is committing adultery by remarrying. Now does that mean the act of getting married is adultery but if repentant, the marriage is still a valid covenant in God’s eyes or does it mean that the new marriage will forever be adulterous? Even the divorce clause in the Bible is highly debated because people want the Bible to fit their wants and their decisions. Only you can decide what you’re comfortable doing, but need to do a ton of research. My wife cheated on me for years and despite claiming to be a Christian, said she hasn’t prayed once about this. She is abandoning our marriage and someone who does that is in no way a believer. To be a believer takes more than believing, it takes a total life transformation and a desire to act in accordance with God’s will. Many claim to be Christians but aren’t. I am currently wrestling with understanding the scriptures fully and see if i am allowed to remarry. A lot of the confusion stems around the original Hebrew and Greek texts and customary practices back in those days.
