Meanwhile… Sharks Do Cocaine | Snoop Dogg To Carry The Olympic Torch | Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat

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Meanwhile… Researchers found unprecedented levels of cocaine in a group of sharks, Snoop is set to carry the Olympic torch during the festivities in Paris, and there’s a shocking development in the Hello Kitty world. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile #StephenColbert #Cocaine #Sharks #HelloKitty #SnoopDogg #Snoop #Cats
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

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16 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 651

@calebyoungconductor 2 месяца назад

As a classical musician, I appreciate the long French horn walk joke. Haha!

@badadm-bp9qr 2 месяца назад

There is NO WAY Snoop ain't lighting one off that flame!

@kevinmeyers7821 2 месяца назад

Man needs to catch his breath, and a buzz after a jog.

@jkap34 2 месяца назад

@@kevinmeyers7821 who doesn't?! I always smoke a joint after a jog or workout. Helps with the muscle soreness. Or I take some edibles about 10 min before I finish working out.

@sarcasmo57 2 месяца назад

Didn't he say he quit? But yeah, he probably will.

@MrVovansim 2 месяца назад

Snoop running the torch is a bit of a disgrace imo. The opening ceremony is supposed to be about the athletes. What the heck does Snoop have to do with sports?

@lianefehrle9921 2 месяца назад

The torch is going to be the biggest blunt.

@laalaa99stl 2 месяца назад

"Ghosted" was the perfect punchline for that story. 👻

@troyallen8223 2 месяца назад

😊😊😊

@protiliusproductions 2 месяца назад

I laughed out loud… he’s on fire tonight.

@sgtrock59 2 месяца назад

Spoiler alert...

@alewisscott 2 месяца назад

@@protiliusproductions Yes indeed! 😊

@223Drone 2 месяца назад

Cocaine sharks is going to be the sequel to cocaine bear.

@AlexHeisEngholm 2 месяца назад

Called the great white shark.

@Mozart1220 2 месяца назад

Cocaine Koala. Cocaine Cockroach. Give it a couple years they will all be fighting the Avengers.

@devinward934 2 месяца назад

Waiting for the crossover, Cocaine Sharknado

@sparklesandsmog 2 месяца назад

@@devinward934 finally explains the whole thing, haha

@ulysessoliverasponyman 2 месяца назад

Good for shark week

@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 2 месяца назад

The Nigerian Parents joke was phenomenal and So True!!!!! 🤣😅😆😄🤣😂

@stephaniechung2366 2 месяца назад

Stephen Colbert - cat ears, cat whiskers…hello kitty! You are the best.

@lindablue7494 2 месяца назад

That was the best I nearly wore my drink I was laughing so hard. lol! Well done Stephen.

@NewMessage 2 месяца назад

Oh... Oh that explains Dory completely.

@ShovelChef 2 месяца назад

Good to see you

@alewisscott 2 месяца назад

😂😂

@askthepizzaguy 2 месяца назад

Yeah, yeah 42 wallaby way Sydney. P Sherman is the guy you're lookin for. He's got the good stuff. P Sherman write that down P sherman 42 42 42 42 Wallallalalalalalalalaby way wooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO THATS SOME GOOD SHIT

@hopefulenigma9074 2 месяца назад

🤣👍

@babybijou969 2 месяца назад

Underrated comment! 🏆

@RickyHall-km3qq 2 месяца назад

Shout out to "honk a dirge through the filthy goof bugle that is my segment..." one of the best Meanwhile intros I have heard in a while

@Mozart1220 2 месяца назад

Yeah, I love "goof bugle". I always need new silly names to call my adult daughter to make her laugh.

@Tesserae 2 месяца назад

I’m wondering if they got new writers recently; the jokes have been funnier for the past few shows.

@redstonecasey4713 2 месяца назад

A quick reminder that Gomez and Morticia Addams met at a funeral. It can work for you too!

@Styphon 2 месяца назад

Better than meeting at a family reunion

@johnnynielsen3006 2 месяца назад

Wasn't Gomez also the prime suspect...?

@alewisscott 2 месяца назад

😂😂😂

@LindaC616 2 месяца назад

Another example of Gen Z thinking they invented something...People have been doing that for years 😅

@o.b.7217 2 месяца назад

And their marriage worked out!

@swistedfilms 2 месяца назад

Honk a dirge through the goof bugle of news! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's brilliant!

@nommh 2 месяца назад

the dirge is actually honked through the FILTHY goof bugle - every word a cherry on top…

@serendipityshopnyc 2 месяца назад

Perfect writing and delivery on that funeral joke.

@ConstantChaos1 2 месяца назад

Naw it should have been an Addams family refrence imo

@tytn9978 2 месяца назад

Stephen, your "finding a date at a funeral" was comic perfection!

@VamsiNarla 2 месяца назад

That was one of the best meanwhile segments of all time. Three amazing stories

@wholeshebang1 2 месяца назад

Yes, and so was the lead-up to it.

@northernbohemianrealist 2 месяца назад

"Engelbert Schmid triple french horn." That's a reference I never expected! How many viewers caught that and got it? Whoa!

@samiam619 2 месяца назад

Nope, means nothing to me…

@schnauzerbill7391 2 месяца назад

Absolutely- and I'm sure it will be in the International Horn Society Newsletter!!! (I'm and Alexander man, myself)

@northernbohemianrealist 2 месяца назад

@@schnauzerbill7391 I have an early 6D, wasted on my ability. Is Alexander still a big thing? Big in the 80s.

@tfhenshaw 2 месяца назад

@@northernbohemianrealist Alexes are big across the pond.

@seileach67 2 месяца назад

Is it a "Music Man" reference? Stephen likes referencing classic films, albeit not as much as he likes referencing Tolkien, Star Wars, etc.

@TildaRigo 2 месяца назад

Love you Stephen! And you were on fire today 😅❤🎉 the ghosted joke's golden

@Bigolddragon 2 месяца назад

Hey this isn't a protest or a funeral, chill.

@SpaceForceCommander 2 месяца назад

Hello Kitty bombshell is like saying Scooby Doo is not a dog.

@_SYDGAMING_ 2 месяца назад

Or catdog is actually a mouse😂

@OriginalPiMan 2 месяца назад

As I recall, she has a pet cat. So it's more like saying Goofy is not a dog.

@FenNick1994 2 месяца назад

His name is Scooby Doo, not Scooby Dog.

@phantomology404 2 месяца назад

Ehm, Scooby Doo actually ISN'T a dog. When people refer to him as a dog, he often asks: "Dog? Where?"

@TheSocratease 2 месяца назад

Didn't Hello Kitty say hears ago something about it being some sort of religious icon? I vaguely remember sometime ago an explanation for Hello Kitty. I was never down with it because it doesn't have a mouth. Say what?

@angelezebuiro9676 2 месяца назад

The Nigerian parents' joke is both funny and true. The children are making their parents disappoint. Sorry, Mom and Dad.😂😂😂

@lopella 2 месяца назад

I would totally watch a season of Sharkos on Netflix 😂😂😂

@SpaceForceCommander 2 месяца назад

Seems like all aquatic life near coke smuggling routes will test positive for the drug.

@babybijou969 2 месяца назад

Meth Gators in Florida… yes, the hypothesis holds true

@L._Titus 2 месяца назад

@@babybijou969 While smugglers dumping cocaine overboard has some effect, the authors of the study identified the presence of the drug in waste after use by people (specifically the population of Rio de Janeiro) as the main source of the cocaine pollution.

@randyj420 2 месяца назад

Is this why the Whole Foods fish is so expensive - and people actually pay up for it?

@dm-31024 2 месяца назад

Great graphic 4:16 gymnast, flipping with a goblet of red wine ❤

@WolfDarkrose 2 месяца назад

the phantom pain of being ghosted at a funeral meet up

@Mozart1220 2 месяца назад

"Does he smoke after sex?" "Only that once at the crematorium..."

@shauntesofly 2 месяца назад

The phantom pain😂😂😂

@kazuma7232 2 месяца назад

Metal Gear Solid 5?

@WolfDarkrose 2 месяца назад

@@kazuma7232 wiggles eyebrows

@ralph4233 2 месяца назад

It's a good thing the sharks are on cocaine and not marijuana and gettin' the munchies.

@caronstout354 2 месяца назад

"Cocaine Sharks" will be the next cheap and hokey movie franchise of the SyFy channel...

@slvsfr 2 месяца назад

Food chain concentration, bigger fish eat smaller fish. The cocaine builds up.

@randyj420 2 месяца назад

I may have to start buying non-farmed fish - js - BANG - for the buck.

@SpasmFunnel 2 месяца назад

The article about Hello Kitty not being a cat did the rounds on social media about a decade ago.

@ursulawhite2986 2 месяца назад

I remember that article! They said she had no mouth so she couldn't scream (PTSD from atomic bombs). 😮

@brickette101 2 месяца назад

Okay right? And they already even walked it back because everyone said “yeah no” so how or why is this news again? Did everyone just forget?

@Ron-Ayres 2 месяца назад

The 'ghosted' segment was beautifully conceived.

@cherylbomengen2229 2 месяца назад

You are on fire tonight! 😂😂😂

@ircjesselee 2 месяца назад

I was jamming to Emotional Contagion just before watching this. What a coincidence.

@randyinscoe5780 2 месяца назад

Maybe sea creatures on cocaine is why otters are stealing surfboards and orcas are sinking boats, or mother nature is pissed 😂😂😂😂

@polcommwatcher 2 месяца назад

that actually makes sense...

@julieroberts9544 2 месяца назад

I love the drummers hair! The curl and color are perfect.

@jpdemer5 2 месяца назад

Ms. Santos is always an eyeful.

@wholeshebang1 2 месяца назад

Yes, she and the bassist are always chic an and on fleek.

@sophierobinson2738 2 месяца назад

We’ve known for YEARS that Hello Kitty is actually a little girl named Kitty White. Imagination is everywhere in Kitty’s world.

@NewMessage 2 месяца назад

Sharks, Doggs and Not Cats, oh my.

@kp4747 2 месяца назад

I'm prbly alone on this ... but anyone else miss "Quarantineeeeewhileee"

@robgable2426 2 месяца назад

Can't wait to see Snoop light a doobie off the Olympic Torch.

@wholeshebang1 2 месяца назад

That would be dope, but I heard him say on a recent talk show that he no longer tokes. I'll bet he'd do it for the thrill.

@darquequeen 2 месяца назад

Hello Kitty will always be a cat in my heart and world. 🐱 ❤

@jalabi99 2 месяца назад

4:30 but this is not news, Sanrio's been saying that from the start

@ariyanadumon4549 2 месяца назад

Uhhhhhhhhh but Kitty?

@OscarLangleySoryu 2 месяца назад

@@ariyanadumon4549fake fans 😤

@BroadwayBrittany 2 месяца назад

Was looking for this comment. I remember the “first” time they dropped this bit of info (the first time I myself heard it), and that was at least 10 years ago in a very similar news article. People just keep making the same shocking discovery over and over again, lol.

@jalabi99 2 месяца назад

@@BroadwayBrittany you should see all the comments on the SNL sketch "Hello Kitty" (when Keke Palmer hosted) where people are just finding out 😅

@charityquill4965 2 месяца назад

I think their justification is that she's an icon that young girls are supposed to relate to, I guess?

@RogerHerzler 2 месяца назад

“I think I’m being ghosted” 🧑🏻‍🍳 💋

@TheWolfHowling 2 месяца назад

4:30 It's obvious what the solution is to this contradiction. Hello Kitty is clearly a little human girl in a Fursuit, that's how she can be both "a little girl" but also looks like an anthropomorphize cat.

@LindaC616 2 месяца назад

But she *identifies* as a cat...

@jschuler53 2 месяца назад

@@LindaC616 Can't she be both a little girl and a cat? I mean she's not real so we can make changes.

@LindaC616 2 месяца назад

@@jschuler53 I was trying to be facetious

@jschuler53 2 месяца назад

@@LindaC616 Me too, we're talking about an imaginary thing, a meme. Let's argue, let s not. I like your sense of humor.

@jpdemer5 2 месяца назад

She's a furry? Don't tell the MAGA loons!

@antoniograncino3506 2 месяца назад

What a co-inky-dink ! I too own and play an Engelbert Schmid triple French horn. 'Cept mine is all brass; no nickel-silver.

@fabrislemos 2 месяца назад

Funeral joke killed

@kelkabot 2 месяца назад

Brilliant…they should hire you!

@herstoryswitness 2 месяца назад

"They met at the funeral of a perfect stranger, after that things got perfectly stranger and stranger."

@edwardmeradith2419 2 месяца назад

Damn that acoustic guitar sounded great at the end

@TheSocratease 2 месяца назад

🎵🎶Paved paradise...🎶🎵

@tigrrtom 2 месяца назад

It sounded like the opening riff of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi"...

@L._Titus 2 месяца назад

@@tigrrtom I recognized it almost instantly! Nice to hear them playing the classics.

@MrPapamaci88 2 месяца назад

That emotional contagion works both ways, you want to bond with your dog, start howling till they howl with you. It's not a territorial thing nor a full Moon thing but a bonding exercise amongst dogs and wolves, it means "Hey, I'm here with you guys!" as well as "We're a family!" Doing this lowers their stress by a lot. Also if you think it's loud, you should not have a dog. By the way if you walk down a street and a dog barks at you hard, you can often hear other dogs in the street starting howling to calm the stressing doggo stating "We're here too, don't worry!" Lying down next to your dog chilling also has a similar effect but howling like a mad man makes them happy too!

@vinaygandhi71 2 месяца назад

2:44 thats dope 😅

@jerrys.9895 2 месяца назад

Filthy goof bugle is my new favorite insult.

@erikaswanson7072 2 месяца назад

Both a great band name and a new insult.

@Rockingruvin 2 месяца назад

"Honk a dirge through the filthy goof-bugle of news..." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@loporina 2 месяца назад

Happy 50th Anniversary to Hello Kitty

@SpasmFunnel 2 месяца назад

And happy tenth anniversary to the article about her not being a cat.

@robertaldaron8617 2 месяца назад

Before he said it.... I just knew "Emotional Contagion" was going to be the name of a band. 😁

@chuyocaca4153 2 месяца назад

2:00 So that explains SpongeBob SquarePants weird Laugh.

@matthewsmith6934 2 месяца назад

sometimes, just sometimes folks...

@just-ask-why 2 месяца назад

No one has ever or will ever, in the history of television, introduce a news segment as well as Stephen Colbert introduces his news segment Meanwhile

@Mozart1220 2 месяца назад

@@just-ask-why Imagine being in the writers room and having to come up with a new BETTER intro every time. The intro is usually better than the segment simply because of the things they come up with.

@kelkabot 2 месяца назад

That could be a t shirt

@Stuff_And_Things 2 месяца назад

Snoop does realize that task involves running...Right? ;) Biggest bowl he ever lit? Maybe. LOL

@JayTee2985 2 месяца назад

Remember Snoop Dogg, the Olympic torch looks and shapes like a joint 😂

@ladydragon5526 2 месяца назад

Are those the sharks that Trump keeps referring to😂😂

@tinabeasley7821 2 месяца назад

They got a front from Jr…

@LindaC616 2 месяца назад

Exactly

@tinabeasley7821 2 месяца назад

@@LindaC616 🥹

@matrisgallus6189 2 месяца назад

Goof-bugle. Great word.

@MichaelHall1989 2 месяца назад

That Hello Kitty news is probably decades old. They definitely didn't just drop it. I've known that for many years.

@tycoinreno 2 месяца назад

Man their writers have so much fun with the Meanwhile segment introductions

@elaineisabelle427 2 месяца назад

Lol, so Funny, love Snoop Dog

@JC-uv1wn 2 месяца назад

It's the suits😂 definitely the suits at funerals no one wears a nice suit anymore but we love them

@rendratvandonkereschrijver2912 2 месяца назад

The Helo Kitty is a little Girl statement has been around for like 6-7 year now, the creator a few years back even tried to make a explanation for the statement that was to the line that cats don't walks around on two legs and where cloths. To which everyone was thinking, yeah that what anthropomorphism means, she still a cat though.

@de_cre_vi 2 месяца назад

I came here to say this! Stephen sounded outdated making the jokes about Hello Kitty.

@non-exist-ent 2 месяца назад

So the cats in the musical “Cats” are actually cats?

@mr.deadman1973 2 месяца назад

"Smoking and Drinking an Olympic event? The French would crush everyone.

@NewMessage 2 месяца назад

I'd pay extra to see Drunken Gymnastics. So would most of us, I expect.

@followsuittrading 2 месяца назад

The writing was gold tonight 😅 per usual

@annyfyreagle7973 2 месяца назад

Years ago, I met a comedian writer at a funeral. He was hilarious.

@ruthslone2992 2 месяца назад

Englebert Schmid triple horns are TOP of the line custom made, triple- French horns, in case you’re interested. Very expensive and superb, in the hands of top pros all over the world.

@sthompson2839 Месяц назад

Nice! I was just explaining to my daughter that she’d like Meanwhile, because his intros alway teach interesting topics we don’t ordinarily hear about. She played trumpet in high school and probably still likes Hello Kitty.😊

@nevamo7820 2 месяца назад

🦈 Sharks... The new mules!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@jeromesullivan4015 2 месяца назад

Goof Bugle! Imma take lessons..😂

@magiamgl 2 месяца назад

😂soy tu hincha, compadre.😂

@benperditionmusic 2 месяца назад

"Honk a dirge" 😂😂😂

@think2023 2 месяца назад

"Goof bugle of news"😂😂😂❤

@loriallenbaugh35 2 месяца назад

“Such a good listener” difficult to find in men outside of the coffin. 😌

@veramae4098 2 месяца назад

I thought it was probably something like 'emotional contagion" when the President's German Shepard's kept biting secret service. The agents were on edge, so the dogs were too.

@rebeccataravonschleinitz 6 дней назад

This one was REALLY good! Go, wrighters!!

@sherryjoecaver1826 2 месяца назад

Honk a dirge 😂 love this segment ❤

@MB5rider81 2 месяца назад

Yes.. Snoop Iconic athlete and health advocate

@dianedenham5259 2 месяца назад

🤣ikr?!

@cynthia8069 2 месяца назад

Poor sharks. First, they are misunderstood and killed just for their fins for soup, now humans are poisoning them with drugs. Jeez

@marinavianna8754 2 месяца назад

The best part of the cocaine sharks story is that scientists think it might be due to a bunch of people peeing out the cocaine straight into the bay in Rio. They think this might be the case because the cocaine found in the sharks had been previously metabolized.

@seventen7195 2 месяца назад

they really know how to write jokes. hello… EMMYS!

@Warlock_UK 2 месяца назад

Whoever wrote "Sharkos" needs a pay rise

@woohunter1 2 месяца назад

How’s “OSHARKS”?

@Warlock_UK 2 месяца назад

@@woohunter1 is that the one with Jason Bait-man?

@woohunter1 2 месяца назад

@@Warlock_UK haha, yes.

@shaunrobson4278 2 месяца назад

Oh Stephen, you are the Doof Warrior of News !

@dens790130 2 месяца назад

3:49 I know at least a dozen people who played longer than that in our youths ... difference is we didn't call media about it.

@Milaperadotti 2 месяца назад

Reminds me of the funeral seen with will ferrell in wedding crashers picking up woman at a funeral!😂

@Elcap53 2 месяца назад

We are in desperate need of Land Shark

@OscarLangleySoryu 2 месяца назад

Hello Kitty not being a kitty is not news. If you didn’t know you’re not a real fan. She has a pet cat Charmmy Kitty- which looks a lot like her LOL

@jessecarliner7733 2 месяца назад

When I first heard the story it was that she was a British little girl.

@davidlundquist1979 2 месяца назад

That was an odd lecture to get from Principal Skinner. ...I also didn't expect Principal Skinner to be an Evangelion fan.

@OscarLangleySoryu 2 месяца назад

@@davidlundquist1979 All I have to say is… Anta Baka, young man?

@OscarLangleySoryu 2 месяца назад

@@jessecarliner7733 and she is five red apples tall

@tj-597 2 месяца назад

Anna Cathcart

@DNTXPCTMCH 2 месяца назад

I love the silly 😂❤ thank you for the laughs

@alastairdallas 2 месяца назад

Great writing--I'm being ghosted. And Uh...Hello? Kitty!. Excellent presentation as always.

@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225 2 месяца назад

I bet your name isn't REALLY "Hello Kitty"!! *Kitty:* "... It isn't. My name's Kitty White. Why are you calling me by the name of my show?"

@NCandHR 2 месяца назад

Good bit on the funeral- didn't think there was much more to do with "ghosting" but ya did 🙂

@robertkennedy9188 2 месяца назад

Scientists have also noticed a decrease in feeding frenzies, coupled with an increase in empty chatter about getting together for brunch tomorrow

@Forge17 2 месяца назад

“Filthy goof bugle” is going into my daily vocabulary

@MTrocker0221 2 месяца назад

I saw the shark story in my news app and I automatically thought, "I bet you this is either going to be Stephen Colbert's show or Seth Meyers’s.

@familyderieux-ellsworth7657 2 месяца назад

While living in Seattle I learned there's a lot of sea life that has tested positive for some drug. Basically, everything that they flush down the toilet ends up at sea.

@lindanavarro8995 2 месяца назад

Thanks for being so sharp, smart and funny, even for a French people!

@calichick097 2 месяца назад

The thing about Hello Kitty being a little girl not a cat isn’t new… that’s been the lore for a very long time…

@soundped 2 месяца назад

"The filthy goof-bugle of news!"

@forgottenfamily 2 месяца назад

They've tested the river waters of several cities and found measurable levels of cocaine in them. Studying the impact upon wildlife and eventually ocean life makes sense as next steps.