Wise advice - I have a mantra which is “sufficient unto the day” which means provided I can play adequately the things I need to play on any given day, I don’t beat myself up about the things I can’t play.
Good video. Thanks! To add a little to your idea: Sometimes we need to treat it more like a job and less like a relationship. Its hard because we are so personally invested but If you think about someone with a non music job or even athletes rarely perform any where close to 90%. Also I think we always want to play with our best sound and when it doesn't happen we get really down. Many a time a colleague has apologized for not playing well and I've thought they played really pretty well. Sometimes we place a lot of value on one aspect of our playing in a moment that's in the big picture really isn't a deal breaker. Our bass trombonist told me to listen to a performance of ours from two years ago. In the moment I said to him that I remembered that performance as being pretty bad. He said just listen again now. I did and it was not perfect but really had some good moments. I guess at the time I was holding myself to some sort of wacko standard, not meeting myself where I was and had attached a bunch of bad feelings to the performance.
I was a woodwind player first for years, then a serious singer. The hardest adjustment to make was learning to deal with how fickle the vocal folds are -- way more than reeds. Now I play horn, and that mental set from singing of "the biology of my instrument is different every day, and that's ok" has been SO helpful at preventing demotivation on horn.
I quit playing for 15 years, so I have to tell myself that every day. Some days I see so much progress in my comeback. Other days they're just frustrating like i'm never gonna get it back
My friend; I took a similar amount of time off and I completely empathize with you. Just keep in mind; we are only moving forward every time we pick up the horn. During those twenty years I didn’t play my horn; I was playing bass for a living. This last year; I finally got the chance to start gigging in a small group setting on trombone. It’s so different for me than playing that same kind of gig on bass! Such a different part of my brain is being being used. I think that’s what I like most about playing the horn now. I would definitely be more technically developed if I had stayed with the horn but maybe I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much. I remember part of why I quit to begin with was I was burned out. Keep enjoying it
There's no quick fix- you need to make yourself go through those nerves-making situations more so you can both figure out how to be less nervous, and learn how to play with the nerves you still have.
I used to shake really bad when I started playing in public during college. I realized I was just too worried about what might come out of the instrument and was overthinking. I eventually turned the shaking into sweating and was able to control my nerves a lot better.
May I offer some advice… Practice whatever you are going to perform to the point of complete confidence. If you feel over prepared it’s easier to calm the nerves. You may want to try some meditation and breathing exercises as well.
