That isn't them loving you. That is them either loving the idea of you or just loving what you can give to them. The truth is a lot of BM let lust blind them and put them into the hands of women that were terrible choices for mates. And when it blows up in their face they try to use that experience to indict the whole concept of committed relationships.
@@artofmusic2000 And men are the same you fall for looks, how the look of her with you presents an image to the world because that boost your ego, & how she makes you feel. When she does change (because she really didn't love you), your true feelings come out as well & you all go cheat with another woman for another ego boost. So yeah at that point divorce is just around the corner. If someone loves you for only what you can do for them then you've chosen wrong! Same applies to the woman marrying someone & just loving what the man can do for her! You both have chosen wrong! And even in choosing wrong if you truly love her, when she changes your love for her is still going to be very much active & will show up in the way you treat her.
Real men will 'choose to love you'. Masculine love is not just a feeling its a willingness to provide, protect, lead and serve. Choice is more faithful than emotions.
What's amazing is that it took 4 minutes and 30 seconds for everyone to be quiet to allow this man to make his point. While everyone else was trying to make it for him for over 4 minutes. Come on man. You got two ears to listen and one mouth. So close your mouth and listen and then respond.
What I heard was an intelligent woman demonstrating how much she has already listened to and observed men. She was able to remove her ego and take accountability for some of the mentalities that women tend to have. I have found that is a valuable skill that a lot of men and women do not have that is invaluable to your ability to grow as a person.
@@chrisadams7612 when it comes to intelligence an intelligent person listens first and then responds than the other way around. They were all making assumptions off of what he was about to say instead of just letting him say it.
Man U can tell they not use to real men being around no shade to them but that’s just a masculine trait I don’t wanna be in the middle of making a statement dropping jems putting u up on game and u cutting me off trying to tell me the game I’m trying to put u up on because u think u know everything and u don’t know how to sit back be a lady and learn listen and be quiet
This video is a fantastic piece of proof that women do not listen or let men talk. The host said he was going to explain it but instead the women kept talking and derailed the shit out of conversation for over 4 minutes!
@@aminawilliamson2694there is but women want some form of security (physical, financial, emotional,etc) and the man providing it is present in all heterosexual relationships. Providing that security is a duty that man must provide for that relationship to continue Edit: once that woman didn’t feel secure, that relationship is on the road to over. From a man’s perspective, not being to protect/secure your woman/family is emasculating
Whew these men had patience. Because the women on this panel were acting like children. Couldn't even stay quiet long enough for the man to finish what he was saying. So many unnecessary interruptions.
@@kingstonbrooklyn1978 I didn't even bother going to watch the full episode. Because already I started getting irritated with the women on the panel lol. I'm like no I'm not about to get a headache listening to them
@@Tony_Wes yes I figured from this short video the full episode had to be like this the entire time. And I wouldn't be able to get through an hour and some change of listening to these kids 😂
@future___mrs5069 I had to watch it in pieces lol. I watched 30 minutes took a break to watch something else then came back to watch another 30 minutes until I finished the 1 hr 28 minutes video.
Exactly! And that's why its imperative that men know the difference in a woman loving your potential rather than truly loving you. And men are going to have to practice the same, if you want to truly be loved for you then you have to demonstrate the same.
@@Jay-kx5cbExactly. Men do not love unconditionally. 😐🙄 I’m sick of hearing that lie. The only people that’s supposed to love you unconditionally are your parents. Especially your mother.
Why in most cases, when there's a discussion between black men and black women, black men allow black women to take over the conversation. As soon as dude made a statement and was about to elaborate, that lady cut him off and gave a whole speech. We as men cant complain about black women's bad behavior if we allow them to be this way without checking them.
I agree but these dudes have financial incentive to not scare off these ladies. To him it isnt simply about how it should be but more "what he has to do for these women to come back". When you base your content on who is willing to come on and stay on, then you gotta talk nice to them. This aint fresh and fit where rhe women get huge OF subscriptions for coming on so they let Myron lecture them.
These dudes don't have backbones and be scared to speak up so they letting the woman run the show. Also they show you how rude women are they can't even wait till a man finish talking
Bingo!! These guys knows how bad they are, awful looking women,, horrible behavior,,, my grandma used to tell us girls in the family: DO NOT EVER EVER BUT NEVER INTERRUPT A MAN when he is talking, ! “ Calladita te ves mas bonita “!! 😂😍
@@shihobladeSecretly, they LOVE it when a man asserts a dominant position in a conversation...it wouldn't scare them off at all. "Hold on sis, it's really important that I get this off my chest". Straight to the point, and if they object and get belligerent, she will be replaced on the next podcast.
13:44-14:02 When Alan mentioned, "he might not have the swag . . . He's going to be boring because he's peaceful," those women's silence spoke volumes; their nature still would not allow them to accept the truth.
I see it the other way I think they were quiet because they knew it was true that they're just not attracted to those "good guys" and it's unspoken most of the time because they don't want to put themselves on blast because they know it looks bad to say I don't want this good guy just because I feel like he's corny
I would say it it’s more authentic because of our pragmatism. A woman telling you she loves you based on potential, is not her truly loving you. Potential would imply that she’s waiting a certain amount of time for a specific reward to kick in or her money to flip and give her a huge payout. Loving me based on potential is not loving me for who I am, it’s you loving me based on who you hope I’ll be.
Last year, I had a chick tell me she loves me for the first time. 2 weeks later she broke up with me😂😂😂 Nothing changed in those 2 weeks. She said she didn't think I was ambitious enough for her😂. She was right in That assessment because at this point in my career, I was looking for a promotion on my current job rather than get a second job, to get more money...for her to spend. I'm okay with that.
Very smart thoughts🤔 You know the potential is part of settling for a man In their eyes. This is because the man that they really want they don't qualify for him. I experience some of the things you mentioned, and you are dead on it.👨🏿🏫🤔
Yeah that’s why I agree. Because just think about it. Men in general don’t have a long list of things for women, and second the things they do have are typically things that are internal, the only thing that would be external would be “Looks” but men aren’t looking at her money, for her to give them a certain lifestyle, etc. guys are able to love a girl when she has nothing more easily than woman do the reverse (I am not saying there aren’t women that haven’t done that), plus guys are more romantic, like we have to be
“Before you say your piece, let me try to shape where you are going and try to get in front of it” You can’t even have a thought without it being picked apart beforehand. 2 of the women went on to talk for like 4 minutes before he got into what he actually was saying!
For a Man... Loving the Wrong Woman is a horrible experience, but loving the Right Woman is Life. That said, Man you were speaking some "serious facts" during this discussion. Some Modern Women are actually in love with Feminine Men and don't even realize it.
Why don’t these women stay silent long enough to get the message instead of laughing like he was cracking a joke? Is it a coping mechanism or what? He is telling you something you obviously have never considered or thought about because the last fifty years have been spent telling men to understand women yet when the shoe is on the other foot the severe Attention deficit inherent in most modern women won’t allow them to sit still long enough to assimilate what they are been told.
50/50 has always been the standard for relationships since the dawn of time. Women forage for fruits & herbs, cooked and made clothing. men built shelter, forage, guided the children went hunting and protected the village
The difference is women didn't work like men. They did work they were naturally more suited for within the family. Thus their femininity wasn't compromised. But now they choosing to work compete in the world. Just like men. And no one competes in their feminine energy. Masculine energy takes over.
Seek the partner who desires 50/50,... there's nothing wrong with doing what works for your household. However women who desire their husbands to be 100% provider are not compatible for men desiring 50/50. No one is wrong just partner with those of like minds.
Well there is no such thing as 50/50 in any type of relationship. This is a false concept and cannot be especially with two different gender roles. 🧕🏿👩👦🧔🏿♂️👷🏿♂️ I don't know who came up with that. East person should give 100% of what they can give. There are certain moments or times that you might not be giving as much as the other, but you're not supposed to try to keep score. That's why you offset each other as a male and female because both of your two of your abilities and talents are totally different and you are supposed to complement each other. As the Bible says two is better than one but if the one should fall the other one should lift them up. Imagine fairly judging a tag team duo. It is virtually impossible for the two of them to give or contribute the same measured amount. 🤔💪🏿👨🏿🏫
@@goodvibezz9216they’re wrong because marriage isn’t coming. You can have whatever standard you want but if it doesn’t yield results how can it be effective.
The beginning tells you who wasn't interested in hearing his explanation. My man said "...and this is why.." and that was immediately followed by over a minute of making sure a description of how women are so great at finding a way to love was outlined. Women loving potential is as virtuous and as similar to hearing somebody is a first round draft pick and then saying, "oh I love that he's a first round draft pick."
My husband is 10 years older than me . He married me when I was 23 . He asked me to marry him after only 3 months of dating. We celebrate 9 years this year . He told me he waited to marry and have a family for after he got out the military. I love him . He is an amazing father / husband/ man
Loving potential is easy. Loving a bum when you believe he’s going to be great is an easy feat. Loving a women for who she is and thinking she going to be the same person forever. Is real love. Only men can do that. Men want a women to never change. A woman what a man to change.
Loving a person regardless of change, loving thru that journey of change is true love, smh. Men wanting a woman to never change is not realistic because ppl do change, everybody. A husband & wife just do the work to continue loving eachother thru those different times of change. Loving potential is dumb, and of course its fake because you love the potential not the person. You have to deal with the reality of who that person indeed is, and if you can love them right where they are, that's love.
@@goodvibezz9216 women always change for the worse. Yet they want men to change for the better. A man marries a woman because she is what and doing what he wants. Then she changes into something he done want or she stop doing. What he wants. It’s had to love someone through journey when their journey is taking them away from you or the relationship
@@StraightGuyStraightTalk People (both men & women) can change for the worse, thats not just a woman thing- thats both genders. Men & women both need to strive to connect with the other based on love being the foundation & then compatibility. As the 2 ppl grow & mature in the relationship they both will go thru periods of change but the love they have for eachother should bind them so that they can navigate that together. If a person begins to change & that takes them away from you & the relationship then I challenge that love or compatibility existed from jump because love should bind you both. I've learned that sometimes what we think is love truly is not, we just love how the other makes us feel, how they make us look, how it presents an image to world rather than just truly loving the person.
"We can love your potential." Yeah, that's why their love is often limited/easily compromised waking up wanting to leave. Plus they'll leave if you don't meet that potential or maintain that status.
Immediately they was like "WTF" only to highjack his point and agree with him at the end before he was even able to make his point. Also a big reason why Men are not so quick or in a rush to say "I Love You" because when you get "I Love You" from a man that is not just something he is saying just because
When the lady in black said that she loves a man based off of “potential” that isn’t love. She “loving” a man based off his future, money, wealth, fame, status, etc. A man will love a woman in the here and now with NO reason. Women NEED a reason to love
50/50 has everything to do with economics. Women entered the workforce, jobs aren’t as valuable when demand for work increased. Average people need 50/50. Traditional is fine in traditional circumstances, today isn’t that. Everyone is working, have higher ambitions, getting more education, exposed to more opportunities. We need to stop looking at the past economically and plan for today and tomorrow.
@Ceeboyforlife Thank you!!!!! Unfortunately, a lot of women do not understand or choose not to understand this fact. They still expect men to adhere to 1950s standards they don’t understand basic economics and how life is more expensive now.
It just seems like today women want to be able to flip flop from modern to traditional when it suits them and want men to stay locked into being traditional or he isn’t a good man
I believe how you love has to do with your level of self respect. Most peolpe dont know who they are or what they want. A lot are toxic and have very low self worth, so they dont even know what love is. Until they learn to love/respect themselves, they cant love/respect you
This is probably the most interesting video I’ve seen about a concept so dense and subjective. Our fundamental understanding of “love” has evolved alongside our fundamental understanding of our inherent value and worth as beings ever since the period of enslavement. Prior to this period, no African male or female were at odds or in any form of conflict as it related to their interrelation dynamics and affinity towards one another. Capitalism is one hell of a disease…….
This 50/50 conversation makes no sense for anyone over 30. Anyone over 30 is going to be in a 50/50 relationship period!! Anyone over 30 has a previous life and plenty of bills from that life. With a average black woman earning around 37k per and the average man earning 45k, neither person can afford to support another person’s bills or life style. Even if that man is making 100k, chances are he’s living a 100K lifestyle so he still can’t afford to foot the bill for her $37k life. Fact is she’s working, and he’s working just like 80% of couples nationwide. Just about every one is going 50/50 period, get over it.
Tbh nothing is ever 50/50 in a marriage or a relationship where 2 people are cohabitating! People are only talking about the financial part of this not everything else . I feel people just needs to do what works for them. I don’t pay a mortgage but I work , buy groceries pay bge and save money we both cook I do the cleaning and do the admin work/help for his business .. idk people gotta stop just thinking money is 50/50 it’s reallly not
Its crazy how this guy made a statement and had to wait 2-3mins to elaborate on his point. People immediately cut this guy off before he was able to explain his point of view. Thats very disrespectful.
They started off bad by saying potential… they’re basically saying they love the idea of what someone will become not that person they are now cause when they don’t live up to it then they are disappointed and the love goes away. A man will love you as you are.
I don't really care about a woman's love. Her love is as fleeting as her feelings or attraction to you at any given time. She can love you today and love someone else tomorrow. Therefore her commitment is based on how she feels and not principles. There is no real commitment for loyalty from that. I feel what buddy is saying when you know this, but end up falling in love with a woman. It is probably not going to turn out good for you. I think it's always better if you like the woman, but she is in love with you. Otherwise it is almost like she loses a certain level of respect for you. it has been my experience that whenever I fell in love, the power Dynamic shifted and she ended up losing attraction to me because she knew I couldn't walk away easily. She became more difficult to make happy. And blamed me when things were not going her way. This is why I'd rather remain FWB or in a situationship because I don't want the responsibility or have the accountability of keeping her happy. It literally feels like a job.
Man u preaaching,my sentiments exactly,whenever i got in that role of loving on a female to much,it never turnt out good for me,all my best results was when i casually cared about her,
Whew! You were preaching right there my guy. Spoke nothing but facts. Unfortunately, this is why men are truly not investing in women like that anymore.
Exactly, couldn't have said it any better myself. Its a losing game trying to force a long term relationship. Either you keep it friends with benefits to maintain that respect, or you get lucky and find a rare woman who is actually capable of loving you. Otherwise, forcing yourself into a relationship with a woman who could never truly love you or respect you as you are is a fools move.
Timestamp 16:09. Also, it shows that a woman who will " Invest " in the relationship will be less likely to leave. We all know that in most cases,.. women do not part with " Her " money. So, its a financially sound request/boundary to see her commitment. As always Allen,.. Keep it going. And, Thank you to the Panel for your calm insight and discussion.
A man loves a woman mostly for her looks. If she looses the look, the love also goes away. A woman loves you mostly for your ability to protect her (financialy, physically) and to provide for her. Both genders love for shallow reasons. And if these reasons disappear, the love disappears too. Only God and your parents love your soul. If you're lucky, you have also some members of your Familly and one or two Friends. That's it. Love relashionships require many conditions.
🗣️PREACH!! 💯🔥 I’ve been saying this for so long. No one love you unconditionally other than your parents and some family members. Everyone love comes with conditions. 🤷🏽♀️ That’s just the way it is.
Men aren’t running away from the responsibility and commitment of women, put me in the 1950s 60s hands down I’m ready to take up that duty, cause women for that time also understood their duty.
I appreciate the mature and healthy conversation here! So refreshing. Appreciated the man’s pov on how men love (their thought processes when they know).
You a lie, There was no maturity or healthy in this conversation these women keep interrupting the host before he even explain the main topic which shifted to another topic which also frustrating.
Although, you may not agree with how it was done. The topic and the fact of having mature adults at the table was in fact extremely different than what typically consumes our TLs on the daily. Calm tones and all were open to different perspectives - that’s mature in my opinion.
The last guy 🎯. My ex left 2x's. 1 she was in an apartment, fully furnished, on the opposite side of town, the same day. I was broken. When she came back, I made sure she was as invested as I was. 2 she lived with her mother over a year. We both had to figure it out. My mother thinks we're crazy the way men let women & society take advantage of us. (She has 3 boys) Men adapt. It's our nature. #DefinitionofInsanity #smartpeoplelearnfromothers
A 50/50 guy is the solution to the problem of her clock vs his clock. We are together in a committed relationship. I have not gotten to the point yet where I can solely provide for the family on my own income. The thing with the 50/50 plan is it has to be temporary and there has to be an exit strategy. You can’t just go from paying 50% of everything to paying everything overnight. So the plan has to be a 5 or 6 year plan. It can work if you both work it out! Set landmark and goals. Be flexible with the plan but steadfast!
@04:35 You was gonna say something but you had to pay the toll of everybody gotta say something first, as if we're like a pre emptive objection in court
Ahe said she was going to listen. He made the statement and then they didn’t let him explain his statement. They are controlling. His point is made and he’s not even spoken. A woman building a man into what she wants instead of what a man is meant to be……
Women have a scarcity mindset even when a man makes enough money to take care of the home she works while keeping her money and when she's not happy a divorce comes takes her money and his money rinse and repeat
I think women have an abundance mindset and are Self-Serving. Women not only feel that they are entitled to what a man provides, but that they have infinite options. They view men as replaceable.
The first 1:30 told me everything i need to know. Before he could even explain what he meant both the females interjected their own view without a single second of listening. Women love potential because who a man is is rarely good enuff. Men love who a woman is right now with no reservations. Thats the difference. Good luck getting most women to listen tho sheesh 😮💨
Dude in the middle.... Spitting facts.... Them women need to be quiet and let him speak. Also... none of those women were really listening. They all reacted instead of hearing him out. You need new ladies bruh
Man this was such a good conversation. The one thing y’all left out about 50/50 is that some people are raised in that mentality. My mother and father along with both of their sets of parents believed we have more together than we do apart. One set of those grandparents became millionaires and the other set maintained til death did them part. I personally feel if we building and you want to work than let’s build together. Y’all just said women love potential. That’s the idea of what a man could be but never actually who he becomes. So she’s more likely to wake up one day and say i don’t love you anymore and walk with half. To me that is 1000% why they should always chip in lol. They don’t love us like we love them. It’s just not the same type of love and respect there for a huge portion of todays women. Too many “rom-coms” got it all twisted
My birthday in November. I walked into the living room where my wife's sister's and cousins were sitting. They asked me what I wanted for my birthday? I said " to go 1 month without having to pay bills"... They all got mad.
Some Women just love the thought of love, its fleeting for alot of them,its like a child in a candy store every new isle they go down,a different candy draws them in,they can be eating a great tasting candy,but a new one always peaks some of their interests Iim 40y.o now and i can't even count. How many times i then got the "i dont wanna do this anymore " talk/mesaage.. I always say cool good luck out here🤷🏾♂️
Also on the 50/50 thing in this day and age women are saying they can do just as much as the men do. They are making more money( even though wage gap isn’t closed) they are more likely to be highly college educated. 50/50 just means we are working together we are both bringing something to the table. Doesn’t mean a man won’t help a woman he’s with or take on more of the burden to help her out. Men like providing and if he’s got more he’ll do more but that’s not the same as single handily supporting your wife’s entire existence. You gotta be doing something contributing somehow. And plus if you do pay everything in your life if you lower class and even sometimes higher class now you don’t have the time to spend with her and she feels neglected and you probably don’t feel very connected either cause you aren’t spending time together. Plus if you support her entire existence when you get a divorce the judge is gonna say well you paid for everything she can’t do it herself so you have to keep doing it even after you break up cause she can’t and we don’t want her to face a heavy financial penalty for your breakup
When you want the woman that every man wants, there's a price to pay. It's a greater risk. There are many beautiful, loving, loyal women who don't fit the right now standard of beauty, who would make great wives. I personally feel that these women have the luxury to take these men to the bank because men choose with their eyes PRIMARILY.
Altho the man was derailed initially over the main question, it was refreshing to listen to this actual conversation without interuption apart fem the start. This is grown mature convo here.
Really good point about the worst women being over represented. If you’re willing to highlight that… maybe research that a bit, you’ll give hope to a lot of men out there.
