Should I let them know I have taken exlax for constipation, and will I get disqualified for lying about not taking any substances like exlax? I go to meps next Thursday.
MEPS during wartime: You look reasonably humanoid and alive, pass MEPS during peacetime: unless you got the brain of Einstein, the body of Superman and the moral code of Mr. Rogers don’t even bother
My friend just got a dq for testicle cancer. So he has to get his balls checked by a doctor and come back. I went on the first and second of the month and holy shit i shouldve been dq for the shit i did.
Last time I was at MEPS there was this kid that came out of the sound booth bragging that the dr had never known anyone with such perfect hearing. I asked him what his MOS was going to be and he said artillery. I laughed and said “ kiss your perfect hearing goodbye “...
@@WRMonger1 I had "above average hearing" I dont think there's such thing as perfect hearing unless he walked into that sound booth and could hear the chinese talking about nukes
Jerod Rumney MEPS isn't scary at all just be confident and follow instructions and you'll be fine...ig your experience also depends on the mood of the employees too but if you listen there wont be any problems, the doctors aren't even scary either at least from my perspective
Thanks I understand that joke now. I took the ASVAB on Wednesday and I asked the person watching us test if I got the right test because I was supposed to be taking the Picat verification test and I kept on seeing CAT ASVAB. He responded to me with "I know how to do my job! Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?" I just replied with "no sir". Man they were cranky there. It was hard to understand what they were saying too because they would say it too quick.
Jerod Rumney 💀💀 yea well the MEPS @ Fort Meade has some characters in it as well but if you got a good personality 9/10 the ppl will treat you nice and talk to you like a normal person just don't take it personal if it seems like they bossing you around cus at the end of the day thats the military
@@brandonduckworth154 1 of the enlisted doctors called me "slow" like I'm retarded. Like give me a break man it's 5 am and I only got like 3 hours of sleep 😂
I had hooked on phonics as a kid. Remember the huge, heavy, gray or off-white CRT monitors and windows ME? That's what I used. Going out to blockbuster to get power rangers tapes as a kid. I miss the early 2000s sometimes.
lmao when I went to meps the doctor asked me, "when's the last time you've smoked weed?" I said never. Then she was like, "You know the blood test we did can see all the drugs you've done in the past year, better come clean buddy." The amount of BS that they spew is unreal.
a m i didnt need a waiver to get in when i told them i smoked in the past, all they do is bust your balls the whole time with a shit ton of more questions about why you smoked it an give you shit every time they see that you put have smoked in the past its super tricky how they question you too when they find out or know you have smoked weed and itll be on record the whole time you are in so the military probably will question you a lot more and assume things on you compared to everybody who didnt put they have smoked or just plain lied that they havnt but did, but that was my experience just dont even bring it up lol itll make it harder for you to get in it can definitely change how they look at you too an not in a good way they looked at me like a rule breaker and i dont follow laws, they kinda look at you like a might be fuck up who doesnt listen a possible danger to others the doctor also told me that
@@ZeR-rm1pf this is exactly why I said no to every question. To anyone reading this: SAY NO SAY NO SAY NO. Your recruiter will tell you they're in on a a drug waiver, the liaison will say they're in on a waiver, etc. True or not, you say NO and shut your damn trap. If you're a shit liar, tell them about the couple times you drank underage and you'll appear less suspicious.
"Now it dont matter what your recruiter told you to say. Tell us the truth I can help you easy. Just tell me or the FBI will be further up your ass than the guy behind you when you go to prison for lying"
3 years ago, he grabbed my balls and asked me to caught. He asked me if I meant to join the navy. I asked, "why?". He said he guessed so because I maintained eye contact.
My MEPS doctor didn't speak English very well and he talked super fucking fast. Doc: I need you to answer just yes or no, okay? Me: Yes, sir. Doc: SOIFAJOSPDIBJIAPSHDA Me: ...Yes? Doc: YOU'VE DONE DRUGS?! Me: No?
Went to MEPS in 1991, before don’t ask, don’t tell. Doctor was old as hell and asked me the following questions: Do you do drugs? No Are you an alcoholic? No Do you have gay tendencies? No Please drop your pants. I was like...what? After that last question?
@@cooledlol yeah. At MEPS a guy was asker about weed , he was joining to gain US citizenship( he was on a green card) and said in his country of origin weed was punishable by public execution.
I joined a few years after 9/11. MEPS passed me no problem despite flat feet, scoliosis, and a high heart rate. One of the guys I went to MEPS with that day said he had to get a waiver cuz he failed the ASVAB 3 times. I kinda feel, looking back, that neither of us should have got in but those were the good old days I guess.
my meps doc was just some old guy who just signed everything on my forms, did his checking of my body, signed some more things, looked at me, said good luck, and I went to swear in 2 hours later.
walter80922 I did the same . I joined the week after 9/11 and they barely even examined us . I basically lied about everything and got pushed right thru!
Went to MEPs and was sitting on the table with my shirt off. Doctor asked, "Where'd you get those marks on your back son?" "Uhhh sexual intercourse sir." "Oh" He saw me again when I was at the front desk as he was leaving, laughed a little and patted me on the shoulder.
I recently went to MEPS and the damn doctor was like " have you ever smoked marijuana?" I said "no ma'am I don't do drugs." She comes back with " that wasn't the question that I asked you now was it?"💀😂😂 I then said " no." She switched it up and decided to say " when was your last puff of marijuana?" I said " I've never smoked marijuana before." Once again she says " you don't listen do you ? I should disqualify you for that right there cause you can't hear correctly ."💀💀
Kyle Hurling right on point man. What many applicants going to MEPS need to understand is that MEPS doctors are not your friends. Don't try to start a conversation with them (unless they ask you a question) don't add anything extra to what you say. The more extra details you add, the more the doctor will question you and it'll just make it even more difficult than it is. Just keep your answers small, truthful and simple.
PVT Joker, be prepared for a day of standing in line, sitting in line, doing paperwork, answering questions, and having some pissed off old doc examine your junk. Best part of the fuckin day right there.
Private Joker- I can't tell you what to do, but I don't recommend lying in general. Use common sense. Some shit you can probably get away with, but if you hide arrests of any kind, criminal history of any kind, or medical history, you can get kicked out for fraudulent enlistment and they never let you in again. Not trying to scare you but I saw it happen to guys, they lied at MEPS and got kicked out later when the service found out. Also, you recruiter doesn't lose if you get caught for lying at any point from MEPS onward. You lose. They grant waivers for all kinds of shit, a lot of stuff just needs to be documented. I'm not saying tell em fuckin everything but they don't forgive if you get caught after lying to them.
Jurassic0Al my medical record says "SUSPECTED seizure" but on every test nothing came up, all tests didn't show anything and I've been fine ever since and before, never had anything like that, and it was over a year ago....what do u think?
On the questionnaire they give you at MEPS there is a column with a lot of BS "yes or no" questions that everyone should say no to, but in the middle of them there is a question that says "Are you currently in good health?", so if you're mindlessly skimming through it and mark no for that one as well, then you get interrogated by the doctors and you'll probably get sent home. That's all it takes. I swear that is the first question they look at when you hand back the sheet.
@@krisramos407 they waited until after you filled it out at my MEPS station. Then they said "write down why you bubbled no if you did, do you have a cough, a headache, cold etc." Trying so save a few that may have not been paying attention.
That’s why I’m glad I’m joining at 28 years old. I have the common sense to read things thoroughly. I would never just mark yes to anything without reading what is what asking 😂
I will never forget this exact quote from my MEPS doctor. "Bend over, more please. You are barely leaning. Okay, try and touch your toes. Good, now brace yourself." Guess what exam that was.
Armchair Christian yeah you do. When I went down to MEPS, my doctor said, “alright what I need you to do now is turn around, touch your toes, and spread your cheeks”. Nobody told me about that part so I was surprised asf lol
i actually never had any problems with my meps doctors, they blitzed through the paperwork without even really digging any info one of them was actually really chill and we talked for like 10 minutes about his son being an architectural engineer.. before he probed my ass
See your mistake was that you got too friendly with him and that turned him on. Hence the probably unnecessary ass probing. If you felt both hands on your waist while he probed, it meant that it was a first date. Welcome to Obama's military.
After the third signature of "If you're hiding something we will find it" and MEPS _still_ not finding anything, I knew they couldn't do anything. I was connecting the dots the moment I left the bus and got in the door after the hotel.
I loved the MEPS doctors. While I was waiting to get my physical a Mexican kid fell asleep next to me. We had been up since 4:30 and he was dead asleep and this Big Black dude comes over. Next thing I hear is POP! and the guy slaps the kid's shoe and just shouts "Would you fall asleep at a job interview!?" and walked away leaving the kid wondering where TF he was at.
I had an old-ass doctor that had his mouth open the whole time. He looked 80 or so, and when we had to do the butt-spread, you just heard a biiiiiiiig oral inhale from him. I dunno why, but I think he enjoyed eating ass.
My MEPS doctor checked my ass with 7 super bow rings on his fingers and got in breathing distance and told me to sit tight. I knew my life says going down hill from there.
Everything was going smoothly until he asked me if i had ever smoked weed. I said, "nah, weeds not really my thing" dude looks me dead in the eyes and says, "not really means yes". I replied, " No sir, it means I've never smoked weed in my entire life". You almost caught me MEPS doctor, but my recruiter trained me well in the art of bullshitting.
If you score in the mid to high 90's on the ASVAB then all of a sudden everything changes and you're their best friend. They want yo ass. Weirdest 180 in attitude I've ever experienced.
same here. total assholes when i first got there. then i got a 99 on the asvab and all of the subtests which means perfect score on everything. i came in underweight and they signed me off anyways because they wanted me so bad. they basically didnt even look at the rest of my medical, just automatically cleared.
@TheEnd The math is pretty easy. Just know how to calculate percentages and some basic geometry/algebra (like the area of a circle, cube, or square.) Honestly, the electronics is the most specialized info (and autoshop). Know what a transistor, relay, and crankshaft is
@TheEnd Yeah it's mostly algebra. X and Y. area and perimeter. Factoring is in there heavily (FOIL). All things you were exposed to by the end of 9th grade. multiplying and dividing on paper. Pythagorean theorem. Hope you paid attention. if not then study some of those basic methods of solving problems. And definitely know how to get an equation out of a paragraph because there are word problems. Half of my entire time on the test was spent on the math because I never really knew the fastest way to an answer. I just worked it out until i came across something that made sense. It's multiple choice and I wasn't timed. give EVERY SINGLE QUESTION your ABSOLUTE BEST ANSWER. has nothing to do with being smart. just don't give up a single question. work it until you come up with your best answer, even if you've never seen this question in your life. don't guess. work every question until what you got is one of the multiple choices. has nothing to do with being smart.
Lord of Autism I almost got disqualified for having a rash in my axilla from a chemical burn using Old Spice deodorant lol. Darn doctor thought it was a fungal rash
When I went I heard two recruiters arguing cause someone got disqualified for having a suntan and their watch being clearly marked into his skin. He didnt make it past that
I'm pretty sure your recruiter hides in the ceiling of the MEPS building just waiting to knife hand you in the jugular the second you answer yes to anything.
i was coming back in and while sitting with the liaison this kid walks into the office and tells the NCO “ i told them about when i sprained my ankle in third grade. i have to go see a doctor” lol like dude what part about DONT SAY A FKIN THING dont you understand.
They made a big deal out of me having a couple stretch marks on my back. They thought i was whipping myself and kept asking if i did it to myself. They had 4 doctors looking at it and in the end this old woman took one look and said it was fine. They can be ridiculous
ZackH98 Technically i passed but I was supposed to go back because of scarring on my back from acne and they wanted a dermatologist to check it out. Didn’t get to choose my job that day so I wasn’t officially enlisted but I never went back. Still don’t know if that was the best or worst decision of my life. Also nice car. I have a 2000 GT
Meps doctor: “is there anything not mentioned here that we should know about?” Me thinking of my 4 months in a psych ward and span of my teen years taking risperidone and lithium for bipolar disorder with psychotic features: “Nah can’t think of anything” Meps: “Sounds good to us, have fun in the infantry!”
@@hirxken7851 They like to claim they have a 'code' they can put in and pull up ALL your medical history. If such a code or database existed, you'd never have a single issue dealing with doctors who don't know this or that about you. Needless to say, such a database doesn't yet exist.
I have diagnosed depression. Was in a psych ward for 2 weeks. Stopped taking medication after that This was about 2 years ago, a little less. Is it feasible for me to still get in?
Nothing... it was 5 in thr morning, and my eyes were kinda pink from being woken up, and they said I had pink eye( but I went to thr eye doc before leaving for mess the previous day)
@@vitalityfox It's something they said when I was there too, but I've never actually heard of it happening. It's just a scare tactic. I'm sure it works on some.
I sneezed within the first 10 minutes of being at meps and they called me recruiter and sent me home. No shit. To be fair, I had a bit of a cold. I should have told my recruiter. But that just goes to show how cutthroat it is. My recruiter was pissed off at meps and took me to chipotle on the way home
I just swore into the Army yesterday and I can confirm the doctors gave me the most judgemental look I've ever seen when the found out I've never broken a bone
Lol, I have never broken a bone either. Well at least not until this point, the worst thing ever happened to me was having a fishing hook get stuck in my thigh wich I removed myself and it hurted as fuck. I also have a scar about an inch long in my elbow which I made myself after falling from a bicycle, aside from that am perfectly fine, exept for maybe a big underweight but I'll work on that. Think I'll be good to go?
The one that got me going through MEPS, "You got any kind of leakage out of your anus?" Served through three wars, still chuckle quietly to myself to this day.
Nick O`Sullivan dude you're 100 percent correct. I went to MEPS a year ago, everyone except for the doctors were assholes, especially the civilian staff who were checking our weight. A lot of guys including myself got disqualified because of weight standards that our recruiters were supposedly wrong about. I was at a decent weight the day of MEPS, staff there said I had to be below 185 for Army National Guard, which didn't make since to me considering that was the weight you had to be at before shipping to basic, not for enlistment. My recruiter and I went over that when I got back and he wasn't to happy about it. Hell even my roommate the previous night who had already been to MEPS twice because of an injury that happened 1 year prior to that day and was fully healed was disqualified. He was trying to join the Navy, he just had to show the MEPS staff his letter from his personal doctor which stated that he was fine and is eligible to enlist. It had the doctor's signature and office number for verification. Nope. Got sent back because his doctor wasn't in the military and therefore wasn't valid for enough for them. He and I were mad as shit, hell everyone was lol. Funniest thing that day was when we did the "Underwear Olympics" the people I was with started laughing, I looked up and I noticed a guy had a shit stain on his boxers 😂😂
TheJeffandLupeShow Official So did your friend ever get in? I'm going into NG in a few months and I have retained hardware in my wrist from 6 years ago, doesn't bother me and full range of motion too.
Sarah White sorry for the late reply, I didn't notice the notification on my account. But yeah he was able to enlist, I'm not sure how he did since he and I haven't spoke since the day of MEPS. I only know because I saw a picture of his graduation at bootcamp on Facebook. But did you have surgery on your wrist? It's good that you can use full range of motion, but even with push ups, pull ups, and any other exercise too? I fell off a hoverboard a couple of months ago and hurt my wrist. I didn't break or fracture anything, I just couldn't do push ups for about a month because it hurt so much, but after 2 1/2 months I didn't feel any pain at all. Those are the types of things you don't have to mention at meps. But if you did have surgery then be sure to bring all your documents the hospital gave you after the surgery, as well as a letter from your doctor that states you are eligible for military service.
Fat Navy dude that worked at MEPS when I went through "Is that an Ozzy T-shirt?" "Yes sir." "When was the last time you smoked marijuana?" "Never sir." "You sure?" "Yes sir." By this point in me pissing in the cup I can identify every topping that was on the pizza he had for lunch just by the smell of his breath whispers: "We'll see about that."
MadGamerBoss I got an 82. After studying for a month. I got a 31 when I took the little test they give you at the office when you first come in to see where you are at.
Have you smoke marijuana? No. When did you smoke Marijuana? Never. Do you smoke marijuana with friends or yourself? I have never smoked. Does your mother know you smoke marijuana? No. AH HA!
XXdi4vloxx 00000 they don’t even do that 😂😂 that’s for men over 40 that have been in for a long time. They check for hernias and that’s as far as they go.
My doctor asked me if I drink alcohol and I said “no”. She didn’t drop it and kept trying to make me say yes. She’s like “oh.. so you didn’t drink for your 21st birthday?” And I still said no, and she’s like “wow you must be boring”
This is like the exact opposite of Finnish military doctors. I swear to god I went in there with leg pain and left with a nasal vitamin-A spray. If your body is not broken or boiling then you're fit for duty in their eyes.
XplosivCookie wth really? They're making a bigass deal about one of my smallass scars I didn't even go to the doctor for. The doctor I shit you not said "my job is to find something wrong with you and to try and not send you."
@Vis I had disclosed a few bigger scars to my recruiter to have it sent up to MEPS so it wouldn't be a big deal when i got there, the physician freaked out when he realized my body was covered with scars and marks xD Every little cut, splotch and birthmark ignited a new line of inquiry.
I didn't need any waivers. He knew i was bullshiting about a scar on my elbow (i had said that i never saw a doctor and it wasn't stitched) but he didn't press me on it. Whatever you do, know the line and stick to the line. Some doctors can see through your shit, but they can't prove it. My physician realized during the exam that i had asthma, but i stuck to the line and got through. Be respectful and dress well and people will be more inclined to help.
haha MEPS let me walk right through and grilled literally everyone else. My advice for anyone about to enlist: Whatever your statement is, stick to it lol
I hated going to MEPS. There was one particular Indian doctor who kept making these stupid ass jokes, then the Marine Liason kept fucking around with me on the signature thing. Swear to god it took 35 minutes for the signature. The one good thing was that when the little old Asian lady doctor was inspecting my asshole and balls I let off a silent one that damn near killed her
Honestly. I got cussed out by the marine liaisons lol. they even told me that they didn't trust me one bit because "i was too clean." (referring to my medical status) They delayed my joining process and it's been 6 months since I went to MEPs. They are A-holes
I got an 88 on my asvab and when i was enlisting 2 months ago to the marine corps the dictors were asking me about the asvab and my branch and once they heard 88 and marine corps they called me the smartest dumbass. Funny cause its true. Counter intelligence bb.
While I was at MEPS, early morning, this Marine recruit was told to sit in a specific place due to COVID restrictions. One of the lobby staff guys asked what branch he went in. When the kid replied “Marines, sir,” the staff member just said out loud, “Makes a lotta sense now.” Me, being the only active duty Army recruit there, with a Coastie recruit and a bunch of AF recruits just fucking lost it. I and the recruits I made friends with still talk about it to this day.
I got through Meps with a bent arm that I'd broken 9 times and two surgery scars by saying I've never even been to a Hospital. My fucking arm isn't even straight and the Doc looked at me and said "Alright then and sent me on my way". Though, then he turned around and ruined my life with "You're colorblind" -_-
Dude I got lucky!! My MEPS doctors had nothing but silence to say hahaha!! Almost like they just wanted to get the fuck out lol! Fort Jackson here I come
My MEPS doctor was cool as hell. lol he thanked me for making his job easy then started talking to me about his family in California and drinking 100 year old scotch in Scotland.
Playa Hater Silky Johnson my buddy scored 8. And he wanted to be a marine so bad😂😂. Then the recruiter asks "who thinks they got a high score?" My buddy dead ass says "I think I did. I got a 8." Recruiter didn't even look at him the rest of the day.
Legit had the opposite. My doctor at MEPS was nice. Granted he disqualified me at first. But he wrote me a letter of recommendation to BUMED and explained that my condition didn't hinder me. He helped me get my waiver approved in 20 minutes.
I had it real easy, I walked in with a bad sniffle and a cold and the doctor just flat out told me "you're not supposed to be here but I'll let it pass". Suffice to say I got real lucky
My Meps be like: "Pain in your arm? Here is some Motrin." "You are throwing up? Here some Motrin and Tums" "You got the flu? Here are some cough drops and Motrin."
Meps is very simple. The moment you walk in the door. You treat the situation as if you are already in basic training. Yes sir, no sir, and be respectful. Do what they ask you to do the first time. I had no problems with the Doctors. I can say for a fact. If you go in and fuck up. Like one guy did by doing what he wanted. You will be on the shit list. And you most likely won't be joining. Also if you can't take a piss in front of guys. Don't bother coming to Meps. We had one guy leave because he was afraid to pee around people. Oh and the Interview. It's fast and pretty damn simple. They ask you questions about medical. Then do the exam. We had guys cracking jokes while someone was getting the exams done. Meps isn't a bad experience. As long as you look at it for what it is. Most the people doing the tests deal with shitty people daily. So put yourself in them shoes. And if you talk to the Doctors or guys doing the tests. They all served in the Military at one point.
@@tsdobbi Obviously usmc doesn't have drill sergeants, they have drill instructors, and you say "aye sir" and "no, sir" its formalities from when the usmc first started in 1776 in a bar, as naval sharpshooters
Haha I'm all the way flat footed and they got me in and out and before you know it i signed my life away. Depends on what meps you go to and your doctor
When I did meps we waited to do the duck walk and all so they played the stepbrothers on the tv in the room the docs and us were just chillin and laughing haha
I was just sworn in at the Kansas City MEPs yesterday. My experience was super chilled. I will say that the high schoolers that graduated got the most shit based on immaturity from what I seen yesterday. But again everyone experience is different or about the same. I ship out in 41 days. Be Blessed and dueces!
I'm actually hella depressed the doc at meps said I may have keratoconus. I'm going soon to confirm whether or not I do. Keep me in your prayers boys, I've wanted to enlist my entire life and lost 60 pounds just to.
Directly from my recruiter's mouth, "those doctors wanna disqualify everyone they see, why? because they have to stare a d**ks all day, that's why" LOL
Mia Funchess They can't and of course they would have no need to anyway. The military isn't going to waste tax dollars to check every person's medical history.
