Lets hear your thoughts on being both a merger and seeker or if its even possible to be both at once! i missed yall spazzes #lifetalk #advice #growingup
“Why aren’t we taught that in high school?” I so agree with this one. Personal growth and relationships are part of life. We should learn more about real life in school.
this was like a therapy session I didn’t know I needed but 1000% did. this brought sooo much clarity for me, and it’s funny that I’ve had this understanding but the way you explained it really blew my mind. thank you x a million 🙏🏾🙏🏾
this is super hard for me bc I want to do my own thing etc BUT I also want to be in society and pleasing other ppl and stuff... I feel like I want best of both worlds and I cant have that bc its unrealistic so I should just surrender and accept that im.not going to be part of the social part of life, Im going to be lonely forever and thats a sacrifice I have to make if I want to continue doing my own thing... I cant really articulate my thoughts on this quite precisely yet but I hope you guys understand what im saying hahahaha
I hear ya. I have always gone my own way and done my own thing. It can be freeing and also isolating if you don't meet people along the way. I've lived in many parts of the world and have been very social at times but now I live in a remote beautiful area in the actual woods and it's different. Best to always live your dreams though. And, hopefully you will still meet some amazing people along the way.
The process of breaking the connection is even harder when the person you glorified your whole life isn’t in fact deserving of that. So you slowly start to realize that in some way you were tricked into thinking that they are perfect. Perhaps because of the fact that they were taking care of you. As a kid you aren’t aware that they don’t really pay enough attention or aren’t doing the right things for you. You are just happy that there’s somebody there who says they love you. But as soon as you understand that the love wasn’t even close to a good child raising, you not only want to drift away from that person, you also no longer have any sense of trust or belief. So finding yourself in that time is extremely difficult because there’s so much going on inside. And if only we were taught that parents don’t always do the right things, without figuring this out on our own. Things would be much better. I’ve met so many people who think that « parents have to do that and this and bla bla » and they cannot comprehend that it’s not always the case. Sometimes they don’t do that, sometimes parents are messed up themselves. And we have to be reminded that it’s not our fault that we trusted them, it’s not our fault that the first connection we had was a disappointment. And that’s okay to no longer seek out the approval of someone who let you down just because they are your parents. Forgive them, thank them for trying and move on.
These are exactly the kind of videos that woke me up to the fact that I had to be my own person and find out who I am. Such a beautiful and insightful vid as usual 🌞 literally changing lives out here with ya vids!!
Sara, this was so interesting. I was sharing some of your video with my teen son. He now seems interested in that book! You are such a unique person by the way. Keep creating. :)
It’s my last year of high school and my GOD i’ve been struggling and stressing so hard trying to figure out what’s gonna happen when i graduate. It’s like the universe knew what i needed to hear. Thank you ❤️💞💓💕
@@jodi9361 spend 30 mins every day thinking hard about how you're gonna make the most of that day. Like close your eyes after you wake up, and just reflect. Slow your mind down. Reflect on what you need to do to learn what you need to learn. You got a lot to learn though. Hopefully you figure out how to do your own thing and be yourself to the max😉
This was so well explained, thank you Sara u made it really easy to understand I’d love if u could help me a bit with a little explanation on how to balance out thinking as both a seeker and a merger and what it means to be both - like how would someone who’s both a merger and seeker approach a problem? Love u lots xx
You might be interested in Erikson's developmental theory explaining these psychosocial stages: trust vs. mistrust, autonomy vs. shame/doubt, initiative vs. guilt, industry vs. inferiority, identity vs. role confusion, intimacy vs. isolation, generativity vs. stagnation, and integrity vs. despair.
she back! i was literally just rewatching my Liked videos today (cause i'm a creep with no social life), and there were quite a few of your videos, and i rewatched some of them, and then remembered how fun and awesome of a time it used to be getting to follow your journey and seeing all the education videos (which is what i would call them) you have been posting. i mean, i haven't really watched many of your newer videos. and then, here you are. a brand new upload. gotta get back on track! thanks for being here, Sara. blows while it's windless glows in the darkness sings when it's quiet
This is something I feel like I needed to hear. Thank you for putting your thoughts out into the world so that someone may see this and feel understood. I, and I’m sure many others, truly appreciate it. ♡
I've been struggling for a while now with navigating those two sides, trying to do seeker activities while still heavily relying on your parents is very confusing to say the least. I'm 20, and with every day I'm trying to work on myself, it's hard for me to focus on one thing when I want so many things to go perfectly at the same time. I'm afraid that when I do finally move out and find a job that if one thing doesn't go the way I need it to, I will just collapse somehow... I'm probably over thinking it but yeah. This video gave me a lot of insight how to try and solve this life shit, I'm definitely checking the book out!❤ Thank you Sara!
omg same I'm 20 too and even taking a year off uni next year to travel is such a daunting idea to me. I want to embrace my seeker side but I don't know how
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!🌸🦋🍀🌹🤞🏼🌞 I hope you have an amazing day and treat yourself to something nice, I am so happy I was able to be there for you in a sense 💛
I'm 19 years old and I'm just starting to realize I was a hardcore seeker through all my teenage years and that's why I'm so fucking lonely now! I've never been in a relationship because I thought it was pointless and time consuming. I wish I could tell my 12 year old self that she's not weird, that she's not depressed, that hanging out with other people is not bad, that having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is not that scary or "dumb", and etc etc Now I have to deal with all the time I lost and start to actually understand the people around me, relationships, things normal people do at almost 20 y/o. It's crazy. Thank you Sara
Perfect timing. Was just realizing in other words that this is what has been going on with me ( wanting to let go but still having a desire to please people) and realizing that this a normal phase of life and that everything will in fact be ok. Sometimes I feel I don’t believe in god and then stuff like this happens and it is exactly what you needed.
Sara this video wasn't all over the place at all!! It all made so much sense and was so interesting! Your talking videos are getting better and better (even though they were always great) ❤
this was so helpful to watch cuz a part of me always knew this but i just couldn't put it into words, it was just a feeling of something I was missing and I didn't know if that was making sense or if I was just trying to justify my fears and all that. so, my mom and my dad weren't even a couple when they had me, they just knew each other, did that thing and hey, here's me. my mom never loved me, I just know she never did and will never do, she left as soon as she could (when I was idk 2 or 3) but she never really disappeared, she kept calling and wanting to talk to me (cuz she needed money, but I was young and I didn't understand at that time) she made promises about visiting me, calling me the next day but years past by and she just never did it my dad and I either have a good relationship, he didnt want me, for him I was basically this thing that fucked up his life, his career and on top of that he was alone with me. My grandpas (my dad's parents) also kinda hated me and sometimes I think my grandma still do (my grandpa died a couple years ago, very traumatic) so I was basically alone, I've never knew what being loved and people actually wanting you to be with them felt like. so years pass and i started dating, specifically i dated this much older guy, I thought what he teach me was love but he just was an abuser who abuse me physically and mentally for years so my idea of love turn out even more fucked up and made difficult dating my actual boyfriend, hes my fucking family you know? but i didnt knew what that meant, sometimes I feel like i dont know how to react to someone loving me, wanting me, taking care of me and leads to me being afraid of him leaving and me just being a little too much. Right now things are much better and wer are having a more healthy relationship but you know being through, plus other stuff and having a fucking identity crisis is so fucking hard
Im studying counselling and psychology as a degree and i found this so interesting to watch could you possibly do a video on how you take notes whilst reading i find it incredible how you can do that I usually become so engrossed I cant ❤ I'm glad your back you have been missed ❤👏🏽👏🏽
I’ve missed these videos so much 😭 they’ve helped me when I was in my darkest times years ago and they’re still helping me now ! I always share your videos with my friends and whoever I can, you’re wonderful. Thank you for doing what you do
You are a beautiful person and not only by your apparence but also because you have such a beautiful mind and spirit Thank you for this video and everything else x
and Ive only been learning about this thanks to being in therapy, im 25 and Im realising all of this just now but all I can think of is that if it wasnt for therapy I wouldnt be able to understand any of this while happening to me...
These ideas you're presenting are very eye opening and i love the seeker vs. Merger phenomena. I also totally agree with your statments about medicarion and about how all of these processes are very natural and crucial in an individual's life. I do have to point out though that in my opinion, teaching this metireal and talking about these ideas with highschool kids may work for some teens like you who are opened to examine themselves and the personalities they are developing in coherence or in despite of their parents. But i must say i think most of us would have had a hard time comprehending this topic and truly accepting these changes and agree to take time and consider seriously: where it is that i am a seeker or a merger? what do i want to be? how this affects my relationships? and how can i solve conflicts better apon knowing this information? Would really love to hear your thoughts on this matter!!!
Woah imagine finding something like that that feels like your mom left it specially for you. It’s like her way of speaking to you. Noway that’s a coincidence I feel like that’s the universe’s own connection with you. Ps. Talking/ sit down videos from you ever since you started this channel have always been my favorite. I learn so much and what’s ironic is how I found out about your channel is through a makeup tutorial...
what you’re talking about in the beginning are attachment styles. there’s three: secure, insecure, and anxious-ambivalent. you should look into them! it’s a super interesting concept!! there’s been a ton of research about the styles following you though your adult life.
We do online school from home for my kids. My main goal being: learn how to identify/ acknowledge/ deal with emotions that come up. Understanding that it’s normal and you can heal yourself in the moment with prayer/meditation. God made us imperfect so we can learn from the pain we feel, not to live with it. Thank you for spreading love sara.
This was very well said. I am having these thoughts at this stage in my life, where I constantly question my purpose, the purpose in life in general...who i am...etc. But this was really helpful and really made me reevaluate many things.
what's interesting is that I for example never went through that 'rebellious phase' apparently every teenager goes through. probably because my parents let my brother and I have certain a freedom of choice at an early stage already. I never felt like my choices weren't mine, that I'm doing things for my parents instead of for myself, that's why today I know what I want, where I want to go and why I do what I'm doing, and I feel happy with it. A lot of that already started with small things in my upbringing, parents have a bigger influence on how we develop than they're aware of. Simply letting your child choose the icecream flavor themselves, or let them order their own meal at the restaurant...
I relate to this omg, like im 18 now and im kindda still going through this but 3-4 years ago it was a lot more intense like i was just sad and idk acting weird and i didn't know what it was all about until now after i watched your video i kind of had an epiphany : it was just the shift you were talking about, it was growing up. Looking back at that time, now i understand more. And im still going through an identification crisis and i feel like im more on the side of the (merger*) ( if thats the word) ughh anyways this is insightful thank you❤
im an extreme isolated seeker and i know i need to have both but.. i hate everyone.. no one understands me. i feel like i would be happier if i had friends or someone to connect with but id rather be alone then connect with a whack person.... i really do need a balance though. i just dont have parents nearby and i dont know how to make friends... idk.. thanks for making this video though.... also could you make asmr videos ? you make me less anxious and i would really really like an asmr video of you tapping or whispering... thanks sara i love youu
“things wouldn’t have been easier but it would have made sense.” i relate to that so much. i feel like every teenager goes through something like this and we all feel like we’re alone because no one tells us how to deal with the conflict of wanting to be independent while also still being attached to/dependent on our parents. i really missed your talking videos & i’m glad you’re back :)
sara without a h, im sarah with a h - and i fused my two whatdumacallits the other month and since then i have realised a hell of a lot, i also thought well wtf arent we told this in school or by our parents or older figures in our lives and then i watched @theschooloflife video about why having a crappy teen hood is kinda part of the whole shindig... watch that if you havent already thought into that bit since july... aha sorry im late but thank fuck for people that talk openly about this crazy fucked but interestingly phenomenal world / life peace love and some emojis that i cant type cause my phone broke ahah ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NghU2kMcepQ.html a song that goes well with your channel ay
Wow I really need to get this book now, have been struggling with these same kinds of thoughts about internal struggles and attachments, also pls keep us updated on your thoughts as you progress would love to hear more!
this video couldn't come at a more perfect time!! my brother is going to something very similar❤now I get it and understand it better. so I can explain that to my mom so she's a bit more lenient and patient with him.
