Regret may fill you, but I know a mother's love for her kids and it doesn't falter for anything, not because of any mistakes you make, not due to fights or anything, and the love goes hand in hand with forgiveness and understanding. I can relate to doing bad things and living with the guilt, but incase you still feel terrible just remember, mums know their kids love them. Even when the kid isn't acting like it we know they're just going through something, we understand. And just the fact you made a song about how you feel is grounds for great pride from your mum, though she is not physically here, a mum would be proud of her son for doing that and for showing self awareness and all. And also as time goes on, yes the regrets usually remain but you make up for it all every day that you move forward with your life. That's all a mother wants, is to see you happy and thriving. I hope you made it to that point, or that you are still trying
These things happen even if its just so we grow from the experience once you can find a positive in a negative you can begin to heal but it takes time. You never fully get over it though it does get easier
