Links as promised: Mattress protector: rstyle.me/+Jg0vI4AUfwlMWX4YZxsGcA Floor bassinet: amzn.to/3t5CFAW Lovevery play kits: www.heyshayla.com/lovevery Wool Base layer IKSPLOR: www.heyshayla.com/iksploryt HEYSHAYLA for a discount Discount codes and brands I work with: www.heyshayla.com/my-favs/
Currently 31 weeks pregnant, don’t have the nursery put together or have most of the things I’m told I “need” and this video gave me such peace of mind 😭🤍
You don’t need a nursery. IF you are scared of SIDS have a babybed beside your bed, otherwise a nest will do too. The most convenient. You can change diapers on your bed or the sofa. I just place a blanket or towel or a washable fur, like the plastic bottle one ftom ikea, underneath. I have a basket for cloth diapers and wipes. I emptied a cupboard for some clothing. That’s it.
60 yo grandma here. This is so true! Babies dont need all the fancy expensive stuff. They dont care! One of my biggest pet peeves is parents who pull 4 or 5 wipes to clean a baby butt that isn't that messy. A stack of washcloths used exclusively for baby butts is so much better, and when you wet them, use warm water so you dont shock the hell out of baby with a cold wipe! If you are on the go, put a couple wash cloths in a ziploc and take with. They won't be any colder than a disposable when it's time to use them. Just my 2 cents worth.
I'm 29 weeks pregnant I haven't bought a single thing for my baby yet and I don't feel anxious or guilty about that. I know that there really isn't that much I need for the first few months and it is very comforting to find women that thinks the same. It is hard to find a simple and chill mother who is also caring, responsible and well informed at the same time, which is I think what every future/ preasent mother wants to be at the end- relaxed and confident in the way she cares for her child while also enyoing herself and staying on a reasonable budget 😄 Thanks for sharing your thought and giving real and valuble advice for moms. 😊
I am 26 weeks pregnant and same, my family is going crazy for a gender reveal and babyshower.... like thank you guys but let's all calm down a bit try, and relax it's just a baby. We will be fine :) yes I love my baby everyone keeps asking that too! It's just my first and I'm already chill and mellow about the whole thing, and that's okay too :)
Yes more moms need to have this attitude! Don't feel pressured into getting things. I actually had my baby shower before baby and we didn't know the gender. That way I didn't get a ton of unnecessary baby clothes!
TIP*- a pack n play for my son which was great. It was his crib, the place to put him, his play pen, a place to move around and stand when he got older . He hated the bassinet part of it so we ended up taking that part off and just set him down in the big part and did that from newborn to about 1yr or maybe even a little over a year. It was one purchase, doesn’t cost much and lasted a long time. Another tip I received from a mom is to use doggy pads instead of baby liners.. they’re the same thing, way cheaper and the doggy pads come in larger packs.
Currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first, and out of all the videos I've watched on things to get babes, your video has by far been the most helpful. I really appreciate how you recommend eco friendly/ sustainable options and dematerialize the baby industry.
HeyShayla - excellent advice. In college I needed 3 credits in anything to graduate. I figured someday I would be a mom so I took a parenting class. I was surprised at how much I learned. One thing the professor passed out free to everyone was a pamphlet from the government about having a baby on the cheap. Surprise! Our Federal Government said you don’t need to buy a crib, a dresser drawer or untreated cardboard box with a blanket on the bottom for softness was fine and safe. I was shocked but happy, even then (1985) I was a minimalist. The whole pamphlet was caring for a baby cheaply but safely.
This is the first normal, actually helpful baby essential video I've come across! All of the others are a bunch mommy vloggers recommending overpriced and unnecessary items, along with those dull colors that are no good for the baby, because they want to be Instagram perfect. Their videos all look identical to each other. It's ridiculous!! Definitely subscribing! will be having our 2nd baby at the end of this year and it's been almost 7yrs since we went through all this. I have our registry made and it's so small compared to what other baby moms do. The only reason I've been watching these type of videos is because of how little we plan on getting and I've been questioning if there's other things to get, but I haven't found anything. I constantly see moms trying to resell unnecessary or overpriced items in my mom group and say it's hardly used/never used.
Thank you!!! We are trying for a baby and we live in a 2 room apartment (not 2 bedrooms, 2 rooms). We absolutely don’t have space for a bunch of extra baby stuff, so I’m really relieved to see videos like this that remind us that babies really don’t need much!!
You got this! We've lived in a 2 room apartment with a 3-4yo, and it was plenty of space for us! I wouldn't mind doing it again even now that we have two kids.
I agree with all of this. These advertisements and RU-vid videos make everybody feel like they need a million different things. Trust me, it’s easier to just have the bare minimum and save yourself all the stress of cleaning and picking up clutter.
In this day and age, I.e 2022 and beyond, I appreciate an honest review like this. Babies stuff and essentials for the babies is a highly commercialized market, and input/feedback like this video are helpful for new parents 😊
This was really helpful, thank you! In my first trimester with my first and already thinking about a Minimalist -> Montessori method. I dread the idea of having a mountain of plastic toys and other baby things that I don’t actually need.
THANK YOU 👏 for being so simple and matter-of-fact. I'm 31, at 10 weeks, and I've never changed a diaper or babysat in my life. I know NOTHING. This just helped solidify that theres very few things a newborn needs and that all babies wil be different. I'll definitely be asking for hand-me-downs for my baby shower and NO clothes. Loved your tips and love that youre being sustainable about things. Just subbed. ❤
I want to say that this channel has been a lifesaver for me during my pregnancy and beyond. You really helped me through so much fear and confusion with birth and motherhood, and you’ve made such a positive impact in my life! I want to bring up a few things I noticed, at the risk of being called a Karen, because you’re such a huge influential person in this space and for so many people. I’ve noticed a lot of conflation with the term ‘exclusively breastfeeding’ and ‘exclusively nursing’. In my due date group, there were several mothers thinking they were forced into harming their babies or providing less because they had to pump for work or other reasons-there was also a lot of bullying of mothers who pumped (or exclusively pumped). The meaning of “exclusively breastfed” according to the WHO and the AAP is to feed your baby exclusively breastmilk (and necessary medications). EBF moms can exclusively nurse, exclusively pump, or both nurse and pump. The second thing is that the dockatot and similar cosleeper aren’t beds and aren’t considered safe for sleeping (including under the Safe Sleep 7 for bedsharing). I’m definitely not taking issue with bedsharing-I’ve never met a mom who hasn’t at least once slept or napped with baby in the bed-but the loungers pose dangerous risks whether your baby is in a crib or in bed with you. Again, this channel means a ton to me and I hope this doesn’t come across as me being a know-it-all or a Karen. I just felt like these were important distinctions to make for someone with a platform as influential as yours!! ❤
I don’t think cosleep is necessary but I’m glad they exist because they have bars that slide down or open and I’m short and worried about reaching over normal cribs.
I’m 37 weeks and your video has to be the best video ever that I’ve come across every one is so focused on brands and all this glam and stuff and don’t get me wrong I love those item too but I love how easy and raw your instructions are I feel relieved because I didn’t want to invest in a crib my son probably won’t spend time in thank you for making this. . God bless you ❤
I watched so much of you videos, along with others, while I was pregnant. I now have a 4 month old boy. I wasn't able to breastfeed, it just didn't work out. I took a lot of your advices, and while I will disclaim that I of course don't agree with every single thing I've heard. Not anything against anyone, everyone's different. And I love that. It's so much information from so many different life views. I just got my first apartment with a room just for him when he's older. I'm now returning to videos on how to get the "perfect" area for him. I've gotten everything for him second hand just about. He hates to be swaddled and would only sleep on someone's lap, he used RU-vid for a sound machine. Lol. Such a picky little man. We LOVE your "Montessori bed" where it's in the floor. That way just as you've said "easier to put them to bed" and he won't roll off. No baby work family is "perfect" and like I've said I love seeing different ways different people do things. Thank you so much for all the honesty in your life, even though it's not 100% what everyone says you HAVE to do.
If only MIL understood my needs and desires to 1) keep things minimal and 2) favor second hand over new. But no. Cuz it’s not about me and my unborn child’s needs. It’s about her needs to satisfy her shopping addiction. 🙄
The house we are renting was owned by an older lady that smoked in the house...there is tar everywhere, so gross...I am having trouble not stressing about the baby on the disgusting carpet and floor. I'm only 11 weeks pregnant, so we have time to clean. These tips really helped!
Thanks for doing this. There are so many online lists and videos that make you think you need so much stuff. With our first baby we started off with a crib (hand me down) with mattress, changing mat, reusable nappies, clothes and a wrap carrier. I was fortunate that breastfeeding went really well for me, so didn't need bottles and formula. We didn't use baby wipes but instead cut up an old towel to make reusable cloths.
OMG, I love you!!! We just found out two weeks ago we're expecting, and even though it's early, we shared the news with our family, and boy did all the YOU NEED THIS & THAT conversations started rolling, and my first thought was, "What is the absolute bare minimum to cover the essentials without breaking the bank!" So glad I stumbled into your channel, thank you.
Totally, I think it’s better to get stuff as you need it. Baby’s require soo little. Look up my video “how to repair after tearing” mama is the one who needs stuff ❤️
These are so helpful for us expecting first time mommas! I’m struggling to decide on bassinet, stroller and car seat since there are SO many options. It’s insane!
I always thought you needed so much stuff but you make it seem alot simpler and much less overwhelming. I don't have a baby, I'm just watching videos to satisfy the baby fever but this is super interesting
WHEN you said cloth diapers, I started paying attention. I was yesterday complaining about the expense of pampers, over 150-180ecd. That's madness 😂, thank uou!
you are so real and smart you need so little we live in such a crazy consumer society Brilliant Best you tube video by far from a minimalist mom for the 80s Brava to you xo
I've been stressing about putting together a registry and now I'm thinking...you know, it's okay. We can get what we need. I think the biggest reason for a registry is that I have friends with no kids that don't have the faintest clue what a new mom needs. Lol, I'm right there with them
With my first kid I noticed he stayed in a diaper-3 for the longest time. So for my second I actually bought and asked for a bunch of size 3s. Was perfect.
Haha the car seat is the one thing we really doubted getting. But then we don't have a car, that will make a big difference. In the end, we got one used from friends we really trust.
Folex! Literally any stain! I was blessed with people giving me tons of used baby clothes for both of mine and any that still had stains I just sprayed with Folex and good as new. $7 At Home Depot!
26 months pregnant and my mom uses the phrase “you need x” constantly. I wish the language in good intentioned people was more along the lines of “I think you would get value out of this” or “You could try this it might be helpful” instead. Trying to stay minimal with my first soon to be baby!
Thank you for being REAL! This is so incredibly helpful. 15 weeks now, like: wtf do I ACTUALLY need?! I’ve basically been looking up what you mentioned here to get so that’s very relieving to know I don’t need to get sooooo much.
31 weeks and we’re gonna share our bedroom bc we live in a one bedroom apt. But honestly thats ok! We’re sooo far away from getting everything we need, but at least she’ll be clothed and clean!
And amen on second hand my first child about half of her clothing and "stuff" was second hand I mean even her stroller car seat high chair like a lot of stuff with my second most of her clothes so far are second hand crib I bought for my first child but yeah pleas give me your garbage lol why buy new crap and throw away old crap that's still almost new wtf are we doing
I have a mattress protector and washable reusable chux pads. They absorb all the liquids from postpartum bleeding to baby drool and are easily washable
I loved this! I have 5 kids, and I am a doula. I usually disagree with videos like this, but I love your attitude! 😄 Almost nothing is necessary. Some things are convenient or just fun!
I thought I was gonna breastfeed exclusively, but then my baby was born premature and couldn't latch. He also needed a special preemie formula, so even if I'd bought formula before he was born, we wouldn't have used it. He's now on a gentle formula because he has a sensitive tummy. I also got sent formula for free, but he hated those ones, so they were a waste too. I wholeheartedly agree that each baby is different, and you don't know what they're gonna like or anything they might need that's unique to them. This video was so helpful when I was pregnant. My baby is 5 months old now, we didn't have the ability to buy all the things and I had insane fear and guilt that he wouldn't have things he needs and he'd be behind developmentally because of it, but babies have been born for millions of years, and only these past 50 years has babyhood become so commercial. They truly don't need much. The best thing I do for my baby is have him around other babies and children. It makes him so happy to watch them and try to engage. Otherwise, we're just staring at each other for hours in the day, lol. He's also just kinda into toys, but not really. I keep thinking I just need to buy him the right toy, but he prefers people.
Girl your doing it right!!! Read your baby and do what it seems he enjoys (until i I t changes 😂) and let him tag along for the ride on things you’re doing. They truly don’t need toys, talk to him, read to him andlove him ❤️
I never thought about skipping a size! I was thinking for the last few days "do I buy my baby this next size, even though he grows out so fast! or can I maybe just buy the one after that already?" And I might just have made a decision. :)
I started slipping sizes by the time my baby was 4 months. She’s currently 8 months and wears 9-12 months or 12-18 months clothes because the second hand stores had more clothes in 12-18 months that was winter appropriate.
the only thing I would add that I want to `splurge` on would be a baby monitor that is essentialy two sensors you put underneath the mattrace that alerts you if the baby stops moving/breathing. A friend of mine`s baby died of SIDS and I don`t think I could sleep peacefully with that fear, so I`ll gladly pay money to spare myself the stress and worry
Thank you, helpfull video... we are prepared... but this days i thought that "maybe ill need something more", i was walking through shops this last few days and inner voice in my heart was saying to me that its not necesary... i just could not find what i was looking for and my shopping was not smooth, it was a bit tiring... now i see that maybe Jesus was trying to tell me that i am prepared and dont need anything more, i believe He spoke to me through this video also cause its sane video :) , there are a lot of things we think we need, but accually dont... so thank you ❤
Yeah you don't really need that much. I got a lot of 0-3 month clothes for my son and he ended up being born 10lbs 5oz and he barely even got a chance to wear that stuff. (Forget about the newborn clothes, none of my kids ever fit them for more than a few days.) A lot of it he never even wore once. Now he's two months old and weighs 15lbs! I was tryung to think how many outfits do I really need? Maybe about 7 so you have one fornevery day of the week, but you might go through them faster if they have a blowout. You could technically only get three outfits if you were always washing the dirty one and had one on the baby and one as a standby. The best clothing for babies is a warm footie suit, and a onesie. The whole pants and socks thing is cute but you will probably never find the socks again because they just roll away. My mom got me an old high chair from a friend of hers, she got me some used kids furniture, and gives me a lot of clothes etc. She also bought me a used changing table. I bought a mini crib and a car seat. Mini cribs are great because you can take one panel off and use them as co sleepers and they only cost around 100. I bought a pink one for my daughter but I kind of wish I got one in wood color so I could have used it for both. As it is, I bought a mint green one for my son and she is sleeping in it now. My biggest problem is dealing with the clutter. From all the stuff my mom gets me.
I didn’t do a pacifier for my daughter because I didn’t want to have to fight with her later on to take it away and didn’t want it messing up her teeth . She has perfect teeth today at 10 years old
Don't know why people buy all new stuff,when you can get most stuff for cheap/free. Who cares if it a little used. And most newthings /somethings you don't need are just a wast of money.
Thissss. Every video I have run into so far is like that. Funny how this one isn't titled "minimalist" but is exactly what I've been looking for. SIMPLE. 👏
My future mother in law is just going or taking me to a bunch of yard sales and whatnot. We're getting almost everything second hand and I'd much rather do it that way because it works just as well and is cheaper.
About to cry. Thank you for this. I’ve already watched a million videos and this is the only one that made me feel better, less overwhelmed, and prepared. I appreciate you so much. Thank you, instant subscriber! ❤
I bought Gerber cloth diapers to use as burp cloths, they also got a lot of use as changing pad liners during the early poop-explosion phase. When the kids are older, they make amazing rags. They're just super cheap, super absorbent, and you can toss them without feeling attached.
Where did you get yours? I got packs of 10 of Gerber white muslin cloths and they began fraying at the corners and edges on the first wash and every wash after!
@@regsabatini I got some from Walmart, Target and Amazon, and I think Walmart had the best ones. I got the interfold ones, they have the thick part in the middle. And those have an extra seam around the outside edge so the corners fray a little with constant washing, but that's it. I also think the ones I got are cotton, because I thought the muslin would be too thin.
If your planning on having more than one kid go with osocozy prefolds instead for this purpose. They dont fray and they are way more absorbant for nearly the same price(at least in my area).
I slept in a pack-and-play at home and my dad's guitar case at church. Babies have survived for the whole of human history. Some of the fancy gadgets are nice and helpful for some people, but they aren't a need for everyone. And I agree, why do we make things so consumeristic. "Weddings are so expensive. Babies are so expensive." Yes, if that's what you want, but they don't have to be.
“Babies have survived for the whole of human history” is a pretty loaded statement because infant mortality rates have decreased significantly in the past couple generations. Babies died a lot for a lot of human history and many modern medicine/scientific advancements are the reasons so many more children survive past one today. I don’t think you need a bunch of expensive stuff to have a healthy, happy baby by any means. Just saying babies haven’t survived at a high rate for most of human history
I am currently pregnant with my first at only 8 weeks pregnant and I have always believed that babies don't need that much so finding this video gave me so much peace about my worries of having to buy so much stuff. Thank you for this
This is the video I needed with my first. Not because money was tight but just to curb the onslaught of consumer propaganda. I’m pregnant with my 3rd and my checklist is boobs, bassinet, diapers, onesies, car seat. That’s basically it. You don’t really need anything else.
Glad I found this video. Thanks for normalizing not buying your baby everything. I honestly was overwhelmed by the baby registry lists. This is much more doable
I am currently pregnant with my second. I have made my own burp cloths. I have extra fabric from other projects that I use for the decorative side. I bought a regular shower towel and cut it up and I’m sewing it to the printed cotton side and I am able to make 9 burp cloths. Also we have a bunch of the more expensive items we saved from my first child that we are reusing. I prefer to reuse or buy used for most of the baby items. It’s cheaper and you can always donate it after for some one else to use it.
When i got pregnant i was mortified by all the things i "must" have. I made a baby wish list on amazon and got slowly overwhelmed by how massive the list was just after a couple of days of research 😮💨 Then i completely changed my perspective and decided to filter only the things my grandma in the balkan mountains would had had when she was raising her kids lol now I'm at about 5% of the items i initially needed 😅 29 weeks and I've only ordered her bed and a few bits for my hushand to start fixing a couple of things around the house we'll need done before she arrives lol
If you choose not to bedshare, a very worthwhile investment is a pack and play with the bassinet and changing table insert. It transitions with baby until they are ready for their floor bed! I also bought an additional mattress for both the bassinet and crib, definitely worth it
16 weeks pregnant with TWINS. Even though I have a toddler, I have been panicking thinking about how I have to purchase all new stuff. This is super encouraging and helpful, thank you Shayla! (Also a fellow Minneapolis lady!)
Just cried watch this because... hormones. I'm a doctor and feel overwhelmed I can't imagine how others feel without even understanding what's happening in their bodies. Thank you... still trying to figure out diapers: disposable vs reusable... blessed to have found this channel.
Thank you for this video! Holy smokes, the number of times I've tried to look for minimalist lists and they tell me I need a bottle warmer. I'm due in February with my first, but I had my "baby shower" in November because I live out of town from all my family and I didn't want to travel by plane close to my due date. I put baby shower in quotes because I emphasized to my mom that I wanted strictly money or gift cards (or nothing at all) because pretty much anything anyone bought would have to be shipped (I was travelling by plane after all) AND I'd rather buy second hand myself. Queue the baby shower and getting a ton of baby towels and clothes (all new) from people. Not to mention I brought some of the towels home and they pretty much ripped from ONE TIME WASHING. Sure, I can darn it and fix it, but I think I'll just end up using them as rags since it's probably not even worth the effort. I also wish I had gotten money (or even a gift card) instead so I could have used it for something I need. I'm actually thankful we're keeping the sex a surprise because it means a lot of people shy away from buying things because it's "too complicated". The other issue I've had is not on my front, but my mom. She constantly tells me people are so happy to have a baby announcement (especially since this is the first baby for both grandparents) that I shouldn't shame anyone for wanting to buy me new items (but it's completely fine to disregard my wants). She also told me that people would look down on giving me money because I could use it toward something not baby-related (which is a completely ridiculous idea to me considering I want to buy second hand and I don't expect anyone to do the heavy lifting on that front). As for my emphasis on second hand, she keeps telling me I'll have a second baby and I'll use it for them, so it'll be "second hand". But I don't get the point in spending 100 dollars up front on clothes that technically get used for 6 months TOTAL for two babies. It's caused a lot of frustration on my end, and frankly, next time my husband and I have a baby (if we're so lucky), I probably won't announce it to anyone until they're born. Sorry for the rant, but seeing a video where a mom makes the same arguments I've made (buy second hand, ask people who have young children to give hand-me-downs, give me money so I can buy what I need when I need it, etc.) makes me feel happy that I'm not crazy, but also extremely aggravated that it's a constant fight with the family in my life.
So a note about barefoot shoes. I buy them for my 4 year old & one pair does NOT last an entire season. Barefoot shoes wear out much faster. This year he has 3 pairs of shoes. His nice "school shoes" Splay ($50). Cute & expensive. He's pretty much only allowed to wear them to school or running errands. NEVER playing in the back yard, because they get trashed too fast. He has "back yard shoes," which are actually water shoes ($25). Not real cute, but more durable & cheaper, so he's allowed to wear them anywhere. Then he has "work shoes." He & his dad do a lot of nasty home improvement projects (paint, sprayfoam, concrete, etc.). Those are conventional sneakers from the second hand store. Maybe $10. Between those 3 pairs, we made it through the summer & fall. Add in a pair of rain boots for camping & snow boots for winter, and we should be able to make it thru a whole year on 5 pairs. 🤞
@@betsydwek699 The NLM. "Over a third of SIDS infants (36%) were found co-sleeping with an adult at the time of death compared to 15% of the controls after reference sleep"
Finalizing my baby registry because people keep asking 😳 can be so overwhelming and I really don't want bunch of unnecessary items whew figuring out the swing was the hardest - thanks for the tips!
