Miscellaneous Myths: The Minotaur 

Decapitating the Minotaur sucks because unlike other monster you can’t really show it of as a trophy. “And this is the head of the Minotaur, half man half bull monstrosity that ate humans in a labyrinth” “Dude that’s a cow”

Can you just imagine Ariadne's face as she watches her ex's life go downhill while she's chilling at a rave party her immortal husband's hosting?

Theory: someone who hated the minoans saw all their bull iconography, called them bull fuckers, and the joke got WAY out of hand

There’s something that makes sense about a goddess of mazes ending up with the god of madness and wine

Red: "Stop boning animals!" Loki: *currently a mare about to be impregnated by a horse* Huh?

Could you imagine the Minotaur and Icarus having a chat like just: Icarus: "So apparently the only reason we're in here is because my dad made a fursuit for your mom." Minotaur: "So does that make us brothers?" Icarus: "I don't know... maybe."

When you consider the whole "maiden of the labyrinth" thing, the Ariadne plus Dionysus connection gets especially interesting, seeing as earlier versions of Dionysus depict something of a deity of madness and the unknowable. They're really made for each other -- thematically, at least.

Ah yes, the Minotaur, the first cowboy.

5:40 "Stop boning animals" Zeus: "No, I don't think I will"

Pasiphaë: "I want to commission you to make me a fake cow suit so I can get close to my husband's divine bull. Do you think you can swing it, or is it too weird for you?" Daedalus: "Lady, this wouldn't even crack the top ten in weirdest fetish crap people have wanted me to build."

My headcanon: Dionysus made Theseus's love life a misery because he ditched Ariadne on an island.

"Forced oceanic trade" "Also known as piracy" Lmao I'm dying.

Meanwhile Loki: I screwed a horse and spend a year pregnant to save Asgard. It was horrible (crying like a baby). Zeus and Poseidon: Our people do it for fun. Loki (crying harder) Make it stop! Make it stop!

Dionysus having one of the most stable Olympian relationships. Didn't see that one coming

"so aphrodite made his wife fall in love with a bull" oh no "but then the bull has standards and politely says no" oh okay thank god "but then the wife decides to put on a cow costume" OH *_NOOOOOOO_*

Dionysus: **has a functional relationship ** Zeus: HEY

Funfact about Ariadne there is the depiction of how Ariadne become a goddess and it’s quite interesting Basically she was traveling with dionysus spreading his cult but king Perseus accidentally turned her to stone (using Medusa head) and was smashed and dionysus was so heart broken he begged hades to let him bring her back and ask Zeus to make her a goddess And to all those saying how happy and faithful the marriage is there is a story about that Basically Ariadne suspected dionysus was cheating on her and cried on a beach then dionysus told her it wasn’t the case and to prove it he turned her wedding crown into a constellation

"I need a cow suit" "Why" *"Recreational purposes?"* "Seems legit."

I love how Minos is the only person in Greece whos a jerk because he didn't kill something

I wonder, why did Minos not just, you know, breed the bull with his cows and THEN sacrifice it? High quality offspring and Poseidon still gets his bull back.

Who would be interested in Red covering the myths where Nyx scares Zeus because he was chasing Hypno, the myth where Nezha beats up the Dragon Kings, or the myth where Amaterasu and her husband/brother go on date which ends up getting a Food Goddess killed?

Red: "STOP BONING ANIMALS!" Greeks: "NO PROMISES!"

Ah yes, my favorite greek myth, "The original fursuit"

Fun fact: Dionysus references Theseus ditching Ariadne in Hades.

Red: "Stop boning animals!" Monkey king: "I'm technically a demon, so I'm still fair game." Red: "HORNY JAIL! NOW!"

Fun fact: It may seem weird that the child of a herbivore and an omnivore is exclusively a carnivore, when its head is very much the herbivore, but in reality cows are opportunistic carnivores. This means they mostly eat plants, but if the opportunity presents itself, they will eat a living creature. This is commonly seen on farms when a baby chick wonders in the cow field and gets gobbled up. Presumably, the Minotaur's "unique" birth cause a mutation that made plants unappetizing to its pallet, so it only at people. Or it total did eat plants, but being locked in a laberyth didn't give it much opportunity to eat anything except what Minos gave him.

Fun fact?: You know Phaedra from the myth of Hippolytus? That's Ariadne's sister. *Theseus abandoned a girl and then married her gods damned sister*

Headcanon: I read that Dionysus "dies" during the winter and is "reborn" in the spring to symbolize how grapes wither in winter and then bloom in spring. I also read a theory that Dionysus and Hestia "trade off" the 12th Olympian seat, with Dionysus sitting in it during spring/summer and Hestia during fall/winter. Add to that the fact that one of the versions of Dionysus is the son of Persephone, as well as the fact that Dionysus also has oracular powers, and here's my idea: Whenever Persephone leaves to go back to the Underworld, Dionysus goes with her, and he throws lavish parties there for her and Hades. Ariadne would also go along, being the wife of Dionysus. So I imagine a scene of Hades, Persephone, Dionysus and Ariadne all hanging out, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, making merry and whatnot, when all of a sudden, Dionysus' oracular powers kick in, and he's able to warn Hades and Persephone of Theseus and Pirithous coming to kidnap Persephone. So when Thes and Piri arrive, Hades has a trap in store for them... and after the two men are stuck on the rock, Ariadne "reunites" with her old flame Theseus... and promptly points at him and laughs her head off. Later on, when Dionysus and Ariadne come back to the Underworld, they hear about how Heracles rescued Theseus. At first, Ariadne is disappointed that Theseus' suffering has ended... only to get yet another laugh when she finds out Theseus' butt was left behind on the rock. XD

I can just imagine someone in Greece going “Woah my child is a demigod. Who’s the father?” Then she finds out that it’s Zeus and she’s just like “oh ok whatever”

Ariadne: My BF just killed my half bull half brother and ditched me on an Island. Dionysus: That's rough buddy. Want some alcohol? I wish I had a friend like Dionysus, or any friend.

"Stop boning animals" A moral one wouldn't think need be stated, but here we are.

Red: Theseus is best boy! Me: ...you sure about that- Red: *immediately shows list of fuck ups going off the page* Me: There it is.

“Forced oceanic trade”...”also know as piracy” Not gonna lie I laughed a bit to much.... Edit: Thank you for the attention fellow _beings_

Last time I was this early, Zeus had just promised to be faithful to Hera Which was never. I’ve never been this early.

Can we get a little more info about that "Ariadne may have been a Cretan goddess" thing?

There's a hilarious side-story to Dionysus and Ariadne's love story. So in-between Dionysus seeing Ariadne on that island and them getting together, a local nymph named Psalacantha approached Dionysus and offered to be his wingman in wooing Ariadne in exchange for sexual favors. Shockingly, Dionysus -- the GREEK GOD OF HEDONISM -- refused this offer. Psalacantha, bitter at being rejected, went and told Ariadne "Hey, don't talk to that drunk god or go anywhere with him, stay away from him" out of spite, so in retaliation Dionysus turned her into a new plant named after herself. Fortunately, Ariadne didn't listen to Psalacantha.

Knowing Dionysos' ancient history and the mysterious side he has(yes I watched your Dionysos video), I think it is fitting that he is actually married to a mysterious labyrinth goddess. Good for them.

Red: STOP BONING ANIMALS!! Loki: hey it's not my fault, he boned me!

You know, the minotaur gets screwed over. I almost sympathize with him: a poor misfit that gets mistreated by his stepfather for looking the way he does and has no healthy, emotional outlet. People forget he has a name. It's Asterius.

Can we all just admire Daedalus’s professionalism? He essentially gets a kinky commission and refrains from judging his client.

“It’s biased, filtered, and offset from the source by several centuries” *Screams in historian*

Fun fact! Poseidon is the creator of horses, so his offspring being a horse is actually somewhat plausible. The wings are still a mystery, though.

the midwife who delivered the minotaur: what in the sweet home alabama is this

It’s kinda amazing how simple it is to turn this less disgusting. Poseidon: ”So, you like my bull eh?” *Puts a curse on Minos so that his next child will be the minotaur* Minos: ”Oh come on!”

broke: calling yourself an pirate woke: "i am an merchant that deals in forced oceanic trade"

Red: “don’t let languages die kids” Me: *studies Latin harder*

So basically the Minotaur was one of the first furry fanfictions to ever by conceived by mankind.

Fun Fact: The name “Minos” was a title of the ruler, like Pharaoh. Not useful to know, just fun. I love these ruins! I’ve been to those on Crete.

Just to tack more on the Theseus side of things: Those fourteen Athenian youths? Tribute for a war that Athens lost to Crete, varying mythological justifications abound. The entire story is basically a revenge-fic.

1:07 _mysterious hieroglyphs unlike any seen on earth_ I wonder what Lovecraft would have thought about this

No one’s mentioning how Minos’ wife used the pick up line “ya like jazz?” on the bull

Dionysus on a random island: snnnnnzzzzz A maenad: Hey Dionysus! Theres this girl crying over here! What should we do! Dionysus: Uhhhh well see if she wants any wine! And that my friends is how my favorite greek god met his wife

OSP: Posted 12 seconds ago Me, supposed to be doing my homework: THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT WHEN HE SAID TO PROCRASTINATE BY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH OUR TIME

“Ok we are running out of stuff to make myths with what do we do?” “Just steal Aphrodites shipping abilities and use that on two animals” “Cool”

"Stop boning animals!" This is ancient Athens. You're being unreasonable here.

The fact that you made Poseidon literary gave Aphrodite a twenty dollar bill is just perfect.

A few thoughts: 1)Theseus needed to have a spool of thread to help guide him back through what was essentially a looping spiral. Not even an actual maze. 2)Dionysus has one of the most stable relationships in all of the Greek pantheon. And now I am just picturing him and Ariadne having a couples date with Hades and Persephone, talking shit about Theseus. 3)Seriously, don't bone animals. How hard is that to grasp.

"Minotaur" means "Minos' bull" if i'm not mistaken, He did have a first name. Its either Asterios, Asterius, Asterion or something of that variety.

Kind of surprised you didn't mention this, but Theseus marries Phaedra, Ariadne's little sister, in a true move of dickery. Phaedra, you will note, is how Aphrodite gets Hippolytus killed.

I just had a horrible realization, minos is a model father figure, he didn't leave his son, he fed his son, and got mad when his son died even though he isn't even his son!

Kind of want to see an OSP video on Chiron since while he’s not a god, he does play a decent role in some of the mythology (mostly being a teacher to the hero) and I think it’d be interesting to get a video on the forgotten son of Cronus.

What Red says: Don’t let languages die. What I hear: PRESERVE ALL THE MEMES!!!

The fact that the Minotaur seems easily killable in the sense that it dies by conventional means, yet Minos opted not to kill it outright, it sounds to me like Minos didn't consider the Minotaur a problem, just something you want to keep away from your own citizens. So him getting mad at Theseus for killing it seems appropriate to me. If he wanted it dead he probably would've killed it long before that rather than building it a home and giving it regular sacrifices.

STOP BONING ANIMALS! "That sign can't stop me, I can't read anything from inside this fursuit." ~Pashipae probably

" what kind of union could have made half man half bull?" "well that one is pretty straight forward, but you're not gonna like it" *rule34 has entered the chat*

“Stop boning animals!” The fact that this needs to said is disturbing

Actual fun fact: several archaeologists had actually dug for this mythical labyrinth but came up with nothing and theorized that the Minotaur and his maze represented the earthquakes that plagued Athens due to being directly on a fault line. The sacrifices were actually the people being swallowed up by the earth. As for bonking a bull... idk they were probably drunk 😂

5:16 In a line from Dionisius in Hades, he actually mentions this encounter, as well as congratulating Zagreus for tearing Theseus a new one.

Red: "Stop Boning Animals!" Zeus: "so it's kosher if I turn into Animals to bone?" Red: "NOOOO" Hera coming from above at Zeus with a spear -we'll be right back

A bull having higher standards than a human queen...I should be taking notes from this animal. *Know your worth my friends*

*Daedalus:* "Pasiphaë, but is this hole for?" *Pasiphaë:* "Duh. That's for me to get inside the suit, Daedalus." *Daedalus:* "Woman, don't tell me how to engineer. I KNOW what that hole is for. What is this OTHER HOLE for?!" *Pasiphaë:* "...Cow stuff."

Theseus was my favorite Greek hero when I was a kid. In retrospect, I'm not really sure why.

4:47 Ariadne's shy lil blush makes me so sad, knowing how badly Theseus treats her later

King Minos: Cucked by a literal bull. Also, was the Minotaur just a NEET living in his step-dads basement? Minotaur: "GIMME TENDIES!" Minos: *throws him some Athenian youths*

Rest of the Pantheon: why can't you be normal?! Zeus: *screams*

PLEASEEEEE a video on Hecate/Hekate! She’s a fascinating goddess and has a silly amount of epithets and stories relating to her

Red: Stop boning animals! Zeus: -turns into an animal- HA! Loophole.

Hot take: King Minos is just the world's most commited step-dad

3:35 “But that’s a story for.....four years ago, apparently.” Ah, a new meaning to the phrase “A tale as old as time”.

In some stories it’s stated that Ariadne would only help Theseus if he promised to marry her when they arrived back to his kingdom. Theseus doesn’t want to marry Ariadne but still wants to get help, so he agrees and then when they get to the island he sees this as a perfect opportunity to abandon her. Wow.

"Don't let languages die, kids." *Nods frantically* I'm doing my best, but I don't suppose you could go back 400-ish years and get rid of linguicidal England for me?

"Forced Trade is known as Piracy". I mean, your not wrong

Questions of the day: Do you think there were Ancient Greek Furries back in the day ? and if so do you think they drew sexy minotaur and Typhon on Deviantvase ?

I think one of the reasons Minos doesn’t straight up kill the monster is that’s it’s technically his son by marriage, and it’s a big no no to kill your family in Hellenistic Greece so Minos built the labyrinth as a… happy(?) compromise where he didn’t have to properly deal with the Minotaur but also not kill it.

Hades x Persephone Eros x Psyche Dionysus x Ariadne The only Olympian Gods who have a FAITHFULLY & LOVING marriage

The amount of bestiality in ancient greek myths is scary

I honestly feel bad for Minotaur who did nothing wrong he just was born and was forced into the monstrous role he was

Random fun fact to mention: The Minotaur actually had a given name, Asterion, after Minos’s “real name”, which apparently was something he had.

2:54 So what you're telling me is daedalus made the first fursuit

Ah! That Ariadne tangent was incredibly interesting, especially the concept of the marriage of her to Dionysus, or labyrinths/mazes to madness and intoxication. I would love to see a video on that, even if it is just a theorizing video. I know how twisted mythology can get

Ariadne's smile at 4:45 is so adorable 🥲

Red: "stop boning animals" Me: what would be the result of the minotaur hooking up with a centaur? like a half bull, half horse, or just a regular dude? If it's a regular dude, would he be counted in the stop boning animals part?

So uh when is Ariadne getting her own miscellaneous myth?? Never hear of her before but I definetly wanna know more now!

Honestly, I think my favorite part of this was seeing another stable happy immortal marriage thanks to Dionysus and Ariadne. We really need more of that and less of what Zeus and Poseidon keep getting up to.

The exchange between Asterius and Zagreus is so sad if you think about it in context. Asterius asked what the surface was like and Zagreus responded kinda aloof until he realized Asterius would have never seen the sky since he was locked up in a labyrinth

32 seconds. Not to bad. This upload made my already good day brilliant!

"Stop bonning animals!" *Zeus has left the chat*

I love how we're slowly getting to "Last time in OSP Greek shenanigans" territory and getting recaps from Red's old videos :D

I don't know why ppl kept going to the Oracle of Delphi, it literally never ends with a happy ending

The way Red nonchalantly says "Oh, hey where'd that thing come from?" at 3:03 cracks me up for some reason