Some of the experiences she had in school make me very frustrated. Neurodivergent people were not given the care they need/deserve.❤️ * * * #autism #adhd #neurodivergent #genx #unmasking
It was really rough back then, when nobody knew what was 'wrong' with us, when they just kept yelling at us to act 'right'. I'm so sorry you had to go through that Mama Wolf and you're an inspiration to those of us (even older) NDs just starting to figure things out.
😇 It is interesting that they thought that it was something wrong with us. When as an Autistic woman, with children on the Autism Spectrum, I felt that they were just fine. And that there was something wrong with the Neurotypicals, who seemed to be more impressed with trying to impress other people. Instead of being true to themselves.
laughing at the plagiarism one… i had a similar experience where the teacher told me to rewrite my paper in my own words. it WAS in my own words but i just went back and changed some things anyway to avoid confrontation
Reminded me of when I was accused of copying the poem of a minor first World War poet. The teacher said it was good enough to be written by a bad published first world war poet and thought I had copied it from somewhere. Most backhanded compliment I ever had.
Had this problem once. 😂 We had to analyse a text. I made a very original analysis, that even my dad found clever, and I was very proud of myself. During the presentation, another student makes the same analysis - turned out it wasn't a new analysis, but I just occurred to have the same idea. How do you explain to the teacher that uour classmate writes a sources for this, and not you? Fortunately, that teacher was nice and finally believed me.
This was me during French class back in junior high - the teacher (and another student) accused me of using Wikipedia for a homework that required us to use our own words. Maybe I should've mentioned that I took French classes on the weekends, and I guess I have an above average reading comprehension (good thing my own stupidity saved me by saying there's no Wikipedia in French - didn't know back then about the translate button 😅😂)
My college professor recently returned a paper to me saying their “artificial intelligence” program said it was plagiarized and I need to give sources or be suspended. I told them the sources are my brain. I was given a chance to rewrite it before they reviewed it. I told them to grade it as is. They couldn’t find any plagiarism. I got an 100% and now they want me to teach other classes for them.
What AI source were they using? Programs like turnitin actually will highlight relevant portions and indicate where material repeats what others have said. Odd that there was suspicion of plagiarism based on AI but then none found. Makes me think no AI was ever involved or something else is not right
I resonate so much with this. I was accused of plagiarism in 7th grade - after I had been winning writing and poetry contests for years before that. The school had eliminated the gifted program I was in, and when I got put back into general education, I stood out more than usual and got accused of a lot - plagiarism, not paying attention, not taking things seriously… not being a team player… Also got sent home for freaking out, fighting bullies when I got overwhelmed by a sense of Justice, spacing out, rummaging in places I wasn’t supposed to be. Dismissed as disrespectful (even tho I have no memory of the “bad” behavior and actually was never asked about it. I was highly dissociative from the time I was about 8, and by the time I was in high school, I started having full blown dissociative fugues and no one understood what it was.) I was diagnosed with like 7 mental illnesses - doctors could never make up their minds - and told I needed to learn to “cope” and “toughen up” and “get with it.” But also, when I called out things that didn’t make sense and tried to take some ownership in my life, I was told I was too young and I would understand when I got older. So I just shut down at some point. The NT world is inconsistent and full of games I didn’t want to play. This channel is healing for me because I see myself in Mama Wolf. Seeing her thrive in her own beautiful and unique way inspires me to let go of some of my jadedness and let that little child in me that never got to be, heal and grow - and MAYBE, just maybe, that will allow my adult self to be who I was meant to be.
Your words touched me deeply, I am starting my healing journey in 2024 age 50. What I just don‘t understand is that my daughter still has to make terrible experiences at school today … WHY?
@@danielaruhl1710 which is precisely why I unschooled my offspring because I had no interest in continuing the trauma- the *why* is simple, abuse is a *feature* of NT culture, not a bug.
Your experience is a mirror of my own- being gifted, different AND female was a triple whammy in Australia. Australia as a culture *loathes* intelligent and ND women/girls especially. My childhood was educational torture, I’m so glad our community has online and AI, accessible education now, I can learn anything without ever having to deal with the NT culture face to face. Autodidact is The Way 😊
@@danielaruhl1710I homeschool my children. I couldn’t even fathom to put them through what I went through. And despite us having better diagnosis and more resources for neurodivergence, those resources are still geared towards making NDs “fit in,” and making NTs more comfortable. Children are still children and teachers are still woefully underprepared to deal with the bullying and ostracism that neurotypical children WILL do to neurodivergents. They can sense us - and until there is better understanding of what our differences mean - and better tracks within the school system to fully embrace those differences, both the weaknesses and strengths - schools really are no place for neurodivergents. I’m sorry your daughter is dealing with these difficulties 😞 breaks my heart to think of all the children just like me, who have been properly diagnosed, and are yet still not too much better off 😞
@@Ninsidhe I wish I could do this, but we live in Gernany and it’s against the law to unschool or homeschool. My daughter is also gifted, so intellectual she needs something more stimulating than the other kids her age. And emotional she needs so much more patience and understanding … all she gets is bullying and abuse. Our system sucks! Trying to fight back, no sucess yet, struggeling myself, getting frustrated and burnt out … vicious circle sometimes 😩
With her original song playing in the background!!! Love love love. So sad for all the times she was misunderstood in her youth.😢💞 I’m in high support of you and your family~ beaming you up with support!!! You guys make an amazing Wolfpack :) 🐺 -from a likely NT person who works with kids. I relate to many ND experiences and have been curious, learning a lot about audhd lately. Love your content and vibes, Toren and Serenity! xoxo. Thank you for being vulnerable and authentic. As you express yourselves may healing continue to pour into your beings and may your light and loving frequencies continue to emanate and create the beautiful ripple effect that they are 🕊🧘♀️✨💫💞🐞
I was a handful for my kindergarten teacher, but I was also very precocious with reading and writing, so I got praised as much as I got in trouble. In later grades my ADHD had me reading ahead in my textbooks instead of listening to the teacher, but I was learning the material and not being disruptive, so it was tolerated.
Meanwhile I got in trouble for NOT reading ahead while the teacher read out loud because I was one of the "gifted" labeled students and my 4th grade teacher had unrealistic expectations for the 5 of us out of her 20. It was random, too, like she never told me what she expected extra of me, but would scold me when I wasn't magically doing as she expected. How was I supposed to know I wasn't "allowed" to follow along with the rest of the class?!!! But she shamed me instead of digging deeper to discover I'm dyslexic because yes, you can be gifted AND dyslexic so reading ahead while the teacher is reading out loud would be impossible (and an unreasonable expectation in any situation regardless).
Just unlocked my memory of elementary school, when I'd always read ahead and get reprimanded... And then once a problematic kid in our class read ahead and got praised... the hypocrisy That said, the same teacher was very much against me, and basically instigated bullying against me, once, she corrected my dictation (which was perfect, by the way, she basically changed the correctly spelled words into incorrectly spelled ones and gave me a 2, basically, the lowest grade (technically the lowest is 1, but it's pretty much never used unless you want to humiliate the student, since 2 is already a failing grade), and I just couldn't handle it, so, me, an insecure 8-year-old, took my notebook, the textbook and went to her during break, pointed at every word in the notebook and the same word in the textbook. Got the grade changed to 5, the maximum. So yeah, some teachers suck, and I'm saying that as a teacher
I had last one with math once. Never did any homework, so the teacher didn't believe my good test scores, thought I cheated off the guy in front of me. She was a decent teacher, though, so even if she suspected that I was the cheater, she still made both of us do the other variant of the same test while sitting far apart from each other. I scored higher than the guy and even higher than I did the first time. She never bothered me about it again. Was less lucky with the lit teacher who'd accuse me of passing off stories I "probably found online" as my own for creative writing assignments. Ironically, she had no issues with other students who I knew for a fact just got their stories online. Ah, teachers and their biases.
💜💜💜 ah, the good ol “you’re one of the gifted and talented” but only in the ways they deemed necessary 🤷😏🙏 thank you for sharing, and for being YOU 😇 much love!!!
…these are all VERY familiar, coming from someone who only recently realized her in late 30s what the heck has been going on this whole time. You’ve helped me so much already, thank you 💜
Thank you thank you thank you for this beautiful work that you are doing. You are not only healing yourself but also the lineage that came before you, your ancestors ✨🙏✨
I'm crying reading this. This describes my 11 year old son but thankfully there is more understanding and help now than when you were little. I'm so sorry you went through all of that and I'm amazed at your resilience and compassion. Your videos are getting me through the rough job of parenting and advocating for a neurodivergent child, because even though things are better than they once were, they are still very difficult and there is so much ignorance to overcome. Thank you for posting...you are a lifeline.
Thank you dear soul for advocating Neorodiverse, the loneliness, judgement, criticism, disgust and name calling that is associated with this is unbearable sometimes ...to see content like this brings some comfort.
Wow that’s so insane that you were treated that way… I’m so sorry mama wolf. So glad you’re able to help Toren thanks to all your experience and wisdom, but it came at such a steep price. You’re doing amazing ❤❤❤
Great video - excellent song! I was chastised for daydreaming and pulling my hair out in primary school, but other than that I loved it because I was a 'good girl'. When I got to secondary school is when everything unravelled 😞
Poor sweety.. every day I’m thankful and say a prayer for the teacher who recognized my son was exhibiting autistic behaviors in his 2nd grade classroom. She changed his life, and ours, for the better. ❤❤❤❤❤
Omg I didn’t realize that the song in the background was the one you wrote until I recognized the last line because it sounded so professional! You’ve got a beautiful and a one of a kind voice!!
My middle school teacher had was ambivalent about me - on one hand I had the best grades in a class full of children who struggled with bad marks and was winning competitions, on the other hand she saw me as weird - I was sitting wrong, talking to little and was different from other kids. She once shouted at me: "Did you fall out of a Christmas tree?!" which is a Polish idiom for being weird
So sorry to hear that. I hope you know that you are perfectly right the way you are. ❤ Saying this as a woman diagnozed only two years ago when I was 40 years old. My husband was diagnozed two days later. Our child is in kindergarden and not diagnozed yet, I see the struggle every day. It doesn't count that both parents have ADHD and our child is clearly showing signs of ADHD. I really hope this gets better after a diagnosis. You may be different but that's perfect. You have strengths those people may never have. Trust in yourself. I wish you all the best! 🍀❤️
Last one hit me especially. I was in 2nd grade (in my third school in as many years) and a bunch of students were antagonizing me. I bit one. Teacher sent me to the school psychologist who put me in the gifted program. That only angered the teacher. There was no ADHD diagnosis. It was, after all, 1981. I was only allowed to attend half of the "enrichment" program because they also had me in speech therapy and "special gym." Finally diagnosed in 2018. Maybe if they'd've caught it early, I wouldn't've spent so much time wondering what was wrong with me, or getting yelled at for being "too sensitive." 😑 Had to edit this 3x to remove oversharing.
I got notes because I talked too much in primary school, then one year I constantly asked for permission to go and drink water (from the water fountain) and my teacher thought I could have diabetes, year after I reflected on the fact that maybe I was getting anxious or bored and needed to go outside of the classroom. I'm not ND but I do understand many of the behaviors.
Its really healing to see someone else with similar experiences to me. I found school documentation from 4th grade... i was labeled as disrespectful. It was a hard year, my mom was in grad school and her cousin babysat us after school. I was singled out as the bad kid basically. I became depressed and acted out. I'm also transgender, and this was noted as "doesnt like being a girl?" On my disciplinary meeting form. However, my mom will tell you that there were zero indications that I was trans.
I remember not involving myself with peers because I don’t know…. I was in my own world walking alone by the fence collecting eucalyptus pods and smelling them. The kids were rowdy and noisy. Middle school and high school Idk… I didn’t know how to connect. All of it was miserable except the eucalyptus pods. Not diagnosed until 49. They just didn’t know back then and still don’t know much and don’t think our autistic or AuDHD voices of lived experience is valid. Their book learning is all that matters. “They” don’t think we are capable or worthy of being heard even still. NT’s might need to get over themselves maybe
I do the same twisty turny back and forth thing! 🥰 Also got questioned closely about a short story I wrote. This was before the Internet comparison algorithms.
I absolutely admire your honorable mention & about fell over laughing at the teacher & school! [I also love both yours & your son's clothing styles. Do you make your dresses? Can I purchase some? If no, from where else can I buy them?] Also - you're very blessed to be on the high functioning end of the spectrum. I love 2 people with autism, ADHD (and their personal pandora's box of additional 'coinciding diagnoses'). One is high functioning but the other is not. Even with all today's advances in meeting the needs of those with autism the public school system still fails horribly at both teaching to autism & protecting one with autism from bullying!!!
I had a few similar experiences in the 90’s though the teachers always wanted me to go into special Ed groups. Nobody told me why. I was apparently diagnosed autistic as a child but again nobody told me. I just grew up thinking something is inherently wrong with me. I still think that and I haven’t been able to afford a diagnosis but your story helps me feel better knowing that I am not alone in my experiences.
You have been so misunderstood...I'm so sorry for your hard school experiences. You are such a talented, beautiful, caring, person...we dont all fit someone else's ideal..and we wont be crammed in, like the square peg in the round hole... without a fight. Internal or externally. But I think you have become a diamond in your own way. And you, and your family, are certainly making a difference, for others with ADHD. You are blazing a trail, and turning lemons, into lemonade....so others are better understood on their journey....and that is noble...❤
I once did plagerise(tbf this was like 7th grade) and received a failing grade. The teacher said that the one text I did not copy of off wikipedia was obvisously not written by be because it was too advanced, was the only text actually written by me. Yeah I didn't feel like doing the assignment so I straight up copy pasted wikipedia. Learned at 28 I have ADHD and trying to get diagnosed for autism. These comments are not far off what I received in school.
You have a wonderful voice Mama Wolf and your song is beautiful, too. Love that you share your experiences with us. Thank you! ❤ Is the song available?
😱 wow almost every one of those sounds like how I was as a child in school!! I also was a good writer but not advanced! The sticky hands the wet hair 😂 just like me! No one understands my deal with my hands feeling funny. Im always washing my hands and refusing to touch certain things! Just thinking about the things freaks me out 😱
I have adhd and I suspect that I might be autistic too. I remember receiving a note home from my history teacher in middle school saying that I was "a brilliant child, but really morbid." At the time, my hyperfixations were the world wars and the internet horror stories "Creepypastas." I would talk about them a lot with my friends, and i would get super invested in the history lessons when we go to the early 20th century unit. I still think about that note a lot 😅
It's almost more acceptable to see child w/this behavior than an adult. It's as if it's seen in younger, practiced by adult then rubs back off on younger. Perpetual loop of behavior. Is it normal that we all have traits of this? I can relate to some of his behaviors
I'm in my early 40s. I've been watching yall for a while. Thank you so much for sharing yalls life with us. I finally think i know what has been wrong with me now my whole life. My mom agrees. As soon as possible I'm going to get tested. I never would have done so had yall not posted. So again, thank you so much.
Any advice where to get the most trustworthy free or very low cost assessment done? I'm on the W.Coast of the US & like yourself I'm starting to get a strong suspicion the letters sent home from kindergarten (in the late 80's) about ADHD might have been more than them "wanting to push drugs on my kid" - in the words of my late mother... There's just too many coincidences for me to dismiss at this point.
Hard to make friends when you have two speech impediments and you massacre your peers names. Me, I still have trouble with the R and SH sounds. I remember my speech therapist 39 years ago saying "there'd come a day when I wouldn't have to think about these sounds".....so far, she's still wrong. I was deemed anti-social and fearful of my peers. I ended up spending time inside just to avoid recess. Or rather, trying to be inside. I never went to kindergarten. Started school at 4 years old....waaaay back in 81. Spent 3 years there (younger sis also joined that school same as me, she's 2 years younger than me). Ended up having to go to public school due to a traffic accident the previous winter. We both had the knowledge of 5th graders, but we're bumped back. I to 2nd grade and younger sis to 1st.... I Never adjusted to public school. I had to learn how to write in print cuz at first school we never wrote in print. And then wasn't allowed to write in cursive until 4th grade. I'd get an F if I wrote in cursive, even if it was just my name on the paper. Also had to get used to pencils. We used chalk boards and slates most of the time. At least until we passed 2nd grade at my first school. Then it was pen, never pencil. Kept the slate boards to work out our math problems. Teachers at my first school taught us according to our needs and learning styles. I did really well at that school. Then came public school....where the only way was their way. It was hell I'd rather not think about presentations if you don't mind.... I can relate to getting noticed for writings. That was me with writing fantasy based stories and also poetry.
I call it cultural ABA and it’s given me lifelong trauma- I’m doing everything I can to build a life going forward that doesn’t involve NTs because they have just been so traumatic. The combo whammy of profound giftedness, undiagnosed AuDHD (diagnosed last year at 58),cPTSD and other conditions related to ACEs and other trauma- yep, CONSTANTLY gaslit by adults and ‘educators’ growing up. Still recovering and discovering my own joyous nature again ❤
i cant even imagine how hard it was back then really... even I got made fun off and send to princepals and a lot of teachers meetings just because I had no friends and I always walked this specific route through the school halls every recess over and over while listening to music because I didn't like the feeling of sun on my skin or the brightness in my eyes and the crowds all around with a lot of noise... so I can only imagine it has been way worse back when this was less understood (my examples are from about 5-10 years ago). now its not as bad though I still get comments on it but being over 18 they don't try to force me to these things anymore and just decide to leave me alone unless I break actual school rules
Wow a brilliant song as well, is it recorded? Am I able to download it somewhere. I’m a nearly 60yr old newly diagnosed ADHD & Autistic fella. I feel your song strongly too, plus all the other things you wrote.
That’s okay I “flunked” coloring in kindergarten for refusing to use any color than purple, taking the lines as suggestions rather than rules, and being upset that my purple crayon was shorter than the other crayons. I also vividly remember having a meltdown about these stupid alphabet muppet shows they used to have us watch. I didn’t care about Mr B and his “beautiful buttons” and was mad that he was literally the shape of a B and walking around with no legs or feet, and who needs or wants that many buttons anyway?!
I understand this, because I can relate. I was, according to my teacher, the classes “dreamer”, because I was always in my head, in my own little world. I had a hard time focusing (especially if there was noise around the room), so another teacher once told me I was “selfish”. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 24 and have misophonia, but here I am. Living uncomfortably, but still loving life. 🥹 ❤
When I was in 4th or 5th grade, I got in massive trouble for jumping up and down and spinning (Ive done that as a stim for my entire life). I told the PE teacher I didn't mean to, I just kinda did it at times, and I got threatened with suspension for "lying" 🥲
