This is so real. And the stigma attached- “well how can you be sad when you just had a baby?” And the mom is fighting it so hard. Bless him for getting this message out. So heartbreaking. ❤
Why….after suffering mental Issues from severe Postpartum prior did she have more children??!! Why??!! I can’t believe they weren’t counseled or given support. She was even on meds!! So tragic. 😭
It was my orthodontist who identified my PPD and diagnosed me. I called him and asked him to take my braces off. Told him I hated the way I looked and didn’t have any pictures of me smiling with my newborn baby. He agreed to take off my braces in order to get me into the office, where he told me about the PPD his wife experienced and that he felt strongly this is what I was battling. He was a hobby photographer and before I left his office he convinced me to leave my braces on and took the first picture of me smiling with my infant. The second picture of me smiling with my baby was at his funeral less than 2 months later, after he died in a plane crash, on the anniversary of my boyfriend’s passing as a result of a motorcycle accident. Rest in Peace, Dr. Gary Cohen.
I never believed this could happen until it happened to me in my second pregnancy. Those who haven’t experienced it truly have to understand; mothers that lose the fight against PPD are not trying to be “selfish”, they are not thinking how amazing is to leave behind their loved ones. Specially their babies. It’s all dark, your emotions are completely detached from absolutely everything around you. You feel numb and very empty, like a shell. You see yourself in the mirror but you are not present.. I cannot express enough how painful was to exist. If you think you might be experiencing this, please ask for help. Please tell someone. It’s possible to get through it, I promise
@@booksaregreat280 I tried with professional help meaning meds and that didn’t help because meds helped me when I was on them but if I wanted to stop having them then the free fall was more painful. I didn’t like to depend on them because I felt numb. I was working on autopilot if that makes any sense. I know it sounds cheesy, but I’m pretty sure God pulled me through. After I stopped taking meds I started praying to please give me one more day and then I found a support group with other moms experiencing the same. After that I didn’t feel alone. I was able to express what I felt and someone would understand. I don’t want to take credit from my husband but unfortunately he wouldn’t listen. The support group had professionals who also experienced PPD and just being there for each other, listening to each other, supporting new people coming just healed me. But it took me almost 2 years to start feeling normal-ish.
If you don’t mind me asking, where does this depression come from? Is it just the heaviness of being a new mother and all the burden that comes with it? or the mental strain? Or all of it? I have no personal experience with this.. Thinking I might look into PDD for my thesis, I’m an undergrad studying psychology. I’m so happy you were able to get better ❤️🩹
I am very sorry to hear this story. I had triplets 2 years ago. Had a deep postpartum depression that was very difficult to overcome. At some point I left all 3 babies crying in their cribs and went into fetal position under the shower with clothes on. I remember just lying there hoping for my world to just stop. I was so tired and hallucinating. The most difficult time of my life. I cannot imagine your pain. Thank you for spreading awareness. You are saving lives.
I cant imagine how overwhelmed you are. You did exactly the right thing though, step away, let them cry, take time by yourself. I was a postpartum nurse and thts always what we tell people to avoid shaken baby. So much cN be accomplished by just taking some time awY !
I can't imagine how overwhelmed you must have been! Thank you for sharing your struggle...After years of being on meds for depression I decided to stay on my medications during my last pregnancy and it made such a difference for my own birthing story. I had PPD with my first two pregnancies.
I went through post partum depression after my first baby back almost 40 yrs ago. It was absolutely horrible. I am so thankful I made it through it. One of the nurses that helped deliver my first baby was the first to recognize what I was going through. She saved my life. It's real and it's awful to experience.
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢I never even went through what they call Menopause I went back too work when rach of my babies were four months old I'm eighty two now My son Michael died in eighty five but my daughter earned eight college degrees degd Dedee
Having one baby is physically and mentally challenging. Have more than one, and little kids in addition, can be crippling along with the lack of sleep and hormonal changes. It's amazing more women don't completely checkout. Every new mom deserves a support system.
Do you remember Andrea Yates? Her husband kept getting her pregnant over and over again even though the doctors kept telling them she wasn’t going to be OK if she kept getting pregnant. Then he would check out and go to work and leave her alone with her postpartum depression and all those little kids
And understanding the use of protection. Just because you're married to a man doesn't mean you shouldn't protect yourself and restrict certain things from happening. She got too many kids around the same age group. Of course she finna be stressed.
@@Meow4B To be fair, she had schizophrenia, psychosis, had had multiple suicide attempts and basically had someone watching her 24/7. That day there was a 1 hour gap between when her husband left for work and when her mother in law could get there to watch her. I agree that they shouldn’t have had more kids when she was so mentally unstable, but she had been on meds that worked, but then she went off her meds. I haven’t dug into the story, but it implied that they both wanted a lot of kids and, in most cases, at least one spouse has to go to work to provide for the family, so it’s reasonable that a wife is left home with the kids when her husband goes to work. In this case, she wasn’t supposed to be left alone though, and that wasn’t the plan
One of my best friends died of post-partum depression. We would share everything with each other, but she didn't tell me how depressed she was feeling. After losing such a precious soul, I blamed myself for years for not having seen the signs. New moms should be under close supervision and their families should be informed about this disease!
Please don’t blame yourself I think a lot of new moms are really terrified to admit that they are struggling because most moms don’t admit when they are struggling so they feel like there is something wrong with them and they don’t want to share that. Especially in states with super aggressive child and family services divisions.
After any type of suicide it is really difficult but understandable why you would blame yourself. Logically, and I think the most wise thing is to remember it's actually not your doing.
I’m a Registered Nurse. I worked in labor and delivery for 30 years. PPD is extremely serious. All of our moms went through a PPD screening prior to discharge, so that treatment could be started immediately, during her hospitalization if necessary. I’m so saddened to hear about what happened to her. My condolences to her husband, children, and family. 🙏🏽💔
My best friend had her baby at 27 weeks and at times she got really frustrated with all the questions different nurses and counselors asked, but we personally know a friend who went through PPD and we know it’s real so it was helpful to relate and acknowledge that they were just trying to help if needed.
In the medical community is it ever discussed that PPD could be caused or exacerbate by some of the drugs given during childbirth? Like a known side effect of pitocin is worsening of PPD and or post partum psychosis. Or that deficiencies in your diet while breastfeeding can lead to depression as well? I just hate the idea of women going on antidepressants when it could be the medication that caused the problem in the first place or when the solution could be as easy as increasing your magnesium intake.
@@wendyunknown8072 I wondered what a simple key might be!! Deficiencies in diet - definitely note worthy. I’ve been studying nutrition and most people don’t have a clue what that is at all.
@@Rosie_C I know with my second child I went on a no grain diet about a year and half after she was born but I was still breastfeeding her. I got so deficient in magnesium I thought I was loosing my mind. It was really scary for my husband. We knew it had to be diet related because I just read a book about the gut brain connection before I cut grains. So after a bit of googling I took an epsom salt bath and felt better right a way.
This is so incredibly gut wrenching. Im a mental health clinician in ER's and I've evaluated mother's with postpartum depression and psychosis/homicidality. Mother's do NOT want to feel the way they do and they often feel like horrible mothers d/t chemical imbalances. I've had to reassure them that simply coming to the ER meant they were doing their best as parents. There is NO shame in seeking help - and while the process of going inpatient (especially for severe cases) is scary, it's worse going through a crisis alone.
The sad thing about postpartum depression is that it leaves you in a state where you need to be away from your baby, but you're often in such a messed up place that you don't realize it
Chemical imbalance was a confection of the 70s...or whatever...and big pharm sell pharmacuetic preparations by psychiatrists and others who have no idea what the chemistry is or what it does . Meanwhile the current corporation product lines " health care" are to profit motivated for the stock & stake holders and is their anyone anyone at all doing actual research that is about what presents : viral, psychiatric, perv perp criminal because not recognizing a disaster is disaster. Post partum depression is tragic . How about start from scratch and stop pretending the unknown is known plainly it is not.
Postpartum depression after I had my first child was the darkest and most painful time of my life. During this time I felt like my daughter’s life would be better if I weren’t a part of it and even though I have a family that loves me, I’ve never felt more alone. Every time I hear these stories I just wish I could’ve helped them. My heart breaks for her, her family and the babies!
When you said you thought your daughter’s life will be better without you were my exact thoughts too. I had ppd after my second. I always thought they’d be better with another mommy(which isn’t true because bio mom can’t ever be replaced) and my husband can just get another wife like I never even existed. The thoughts were very wild and all over the place in that depression. Glad I’m out of it.
@Mee D Same exact thing happened after my first. What was said about being part of a loving family but still feeling alone really hit the nail on the head. And thinking my son and husband would be better off with someone else was gut wrenching.
@@meed8738 I've had those same exact thoughts (I literally got chills reading your comment because it was like someone was voicing something I've kept so private 😳🥺)...I didn't know that could be ppd! 🤯😔❤️
This is so so heartbreaking to watch. As a survivor of postpartum depression, please don't ever assume that a new mom is ok. Or that someone is taking care of her. No one takes care of us. It's the most misunderstood illness and too many people are suffering from it. I pray her husband and daughters find healing eventually ❤
Absolutely! My family has no clue...i didnt even realize it until 6 mos after i finished breastfeeding. Shes my only child because i couldnt handle that again.
@@shadowprovesunshinefor me everything culminated to a point that I was crying almost everyday. Got no help except criticisms that I was not doing enough for my only child...
@@TheBlackGirlCan someone, anyone actually asking how I am. If I’m ok. Telling me they noticed I wasn’t myself and they’re concerned about me. Helping without being asked to. It’s only after I went through therapy and I shared my diagnosis did I hear from people in my life saying they noticed I wasn’t myself. Or they suspected I was depressed. I understand that most people probably don’t know what to do in such situations but that’s why it’s important for society to have more conversations about depression. So everyone can understand and support someone in their life who’s suffering from it.
Amen Heidi we dont know what goes on behind those curtain if we never experience it until it happens to someone else we try to understand it make senzse of it but affect everybody even those who never experience it
I didn’t even think of that part. He just lost his wife and he wants to spend the time he should be grieving to help the next family. God bless this man!
One would think that a sane person and partner would prioritize health over family size. She had a bad case of PPD. The most logical thing to do was to never ever get pregnant again. But no! Whenever I watch things like this, I am want to agree with men that women do not make logical decisions. Now she's just another statistics and he goes on to live a full life.
My mother tried to end it after having me due to her PPD. Fortunately, they were able to save her and she’s still here with me 22 years later. So sad that not every woman makes it out alive, and there are thousands of kids without a mom. RIP to this woman and my heart is with this father and his kids.
yeah, this is one of the reasons why I'm reluctant to have kids. I'm already going through depression (that's on the long-term), and experienced a dose of parenting while taking care of my niece and nephew when they still lived with us and was exhausted babysitting for most of the weeks while parents were at work (I love those little ones but man did they drain me). I can't imagine doing it for a long time because I'll most likely unalive myself as well, seeing as how I'm on the passive phase...on the brink but not really jumping. I'm not the right person to talk about this since I don't even have kids but I often worry that I'm easily prone to succumb to PPD. And I don't judge folks that fully unalive themselves, rather I offer a somber "yeah...I get it. You're tired" whisper.
@@ziziscorsese9475 yeah, I've already figured that out but thanks anyways🙂 It seems to be a common response nowadays, so hopefully you're a parent yourself because it'd be weird if this type of feedback is coming from someone childless. If you're the former then response accepted👍
@@pinkishhaven5158 If becoming a parent is something you want out of life then don’t give up on that. If it isn’t then it isn’t. But I would hate to think that you gave that up because of mental illness. Work with your doctors, make sure family support or support in general is in place. Yes, tragedy like this story can absolutely happen but it isn’t always the case either. Even when you already have depression. Don’t let depression define you. It is only a part of who you are! I am a mother of a beautiful daughter and I am speaking from experience about depression. I was diagnosed with Depression then several years later, Treatment Resistant Depression. I also have anxiety, PTSD.....all for years now and had it before I had my daughter as well. I can honestly say it didn’t really get much worse after having her. I am worse now, 13 yrs later then when she was born!!! Lol 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ and yes, of course it’s exhausting having a child, especially when they are young but it doesn’t last forever. You just have to communicate with your partner, friends, family, whoever you have in your life that care and want to support and help you and tell then when you need help, need a break, need a nap etc. To be honest, IMO I think it’s always more exhausting looking after other people’s kids (your niece I believe you said) then your own because you feel more of a forced need to entertain etc. But you know yourself better then anyone and what you truly can handle but if it’s something your heart desires, don’t give it up. Don’t let depression take more away from you then it already has. Having my daughter has been the greatest joy of my life. She is literally my heartbeat. I would probably not be here if it wasn’t for her!! You are enough! You are worthy! Wishing you all the best! Stay strong! 👍🏼😊
@@pinkishhaven5158I have struggled with depression my whole life. Also have anxiety. I was suicidal in my teen years. I had my daughter at 20 and it was the best thing I have ever done. She is the center of my universe and is probably the reason I am still here today. I still have depression and anxiety and unfortunately we are finding out she does too(she's now 15) but we are dealing with it together. She is my best friend and we have an incredible unbreakable bond that I wish I had with my own mother. If becoming a mother is something you really want in your life, don't let depression stop you. Get supports in place, talk with your doctor, etc. Also, other people's kids are always more exhausting than your own. You feel like you have to give them 500% but with your own children, especially if you have a spouse, or family to help you... It's ok to take "me" time. Your health is just as important to take care of because it will make you a better parent. Your child won't be damaged if you take regular "me" time!!
My mom suffered from postpartum depression with my youngest sibling. She was going through a lot with my dad (lack of support and emotional abuse) while also dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Luckily I was in my late teens to help out. My mom recalls feeling like she would kill herself at any moment but never wanted to harm my brother. It was probably one of the darkest moments of our lives.
I’m sorry you had to deal with all that s a teen. I hope you’re all doing better! You’re a very brave and strong kiddo supporting your mom and family like that! That’s very admirable! She’s lucky to be your mom!
I had postpartum and got through with it thank God. I told my husband, I cant survive it again if I give birth to another child. He said okay, we wont have another. He knows how horrible I was after giving birth to our daughter.
Good decision. My daughter had this during her second pregnancy. She & her husband agreed no more children. I was also very relieved, as I never saw her in such a dark place.
@@deannaluna3490wtf!!?? You probably get in a car every day too, so if you get into an accident and get paralysed you would like to hear “well you knew the consequences “!!???
I'm so glad that you are okay ❤ Would you be able to describe this depression? I'm jut trying to better understand it and how it's different than typical depression
A woman I work for just gave birth to her first child about a week and a half ago. She's struggling with breastfeeding and it's taken such an emotional toll on her. We are all rallying around her. Her older sister, with 3 children of her own commited suicide a few years back after battling drug and alcohol abuse following postpartum depression. Us mamas need to look out for one another!!
Breastfeeding can be such a challenge. I always think of it as the ‘fourth trimester’, that 3 months following childbirth. Even without complications like PPD, it’s a very difficult time, especially for first time mamas. I wish her the very best
Thank you and your other friends for being such a wonderful support system for her!! Please bring healthy meals to her and if you haven't already, put her in touch with a local LaLeche League leader. I had an incredibly difficult time nursing my oldest son. Thrush, intense pain, engorged breasts, and sleep deprivation. If it wasn't for an amazing LLL leader, I wouldn't have made it.
My wife struggled with deep ppd for over 2 years when we had our son, I didnt know what was going on and because she was so absent in every way I just dove right into being the main caregiver of our son. She was neglected, I mistook her signs as wanting space but she just suffered in silence. It took until our we finally went to therapy when our son was 3 to understand what happened. Everyone needs to be prepared for PPD because we never thought it would happen to us, we both waited our whole lives to make a family, it took us by surprise.
I had a similar experience. I was so low energy and had so much brain fog I didn't realize what was wrong. My amazing supportive midwives who did home visits said "Baby blues are normal! Baby blues are normal! Baby blues are normal!" as they walked past the same mountain of dishes day after day because they were too lazy to make a referral. I lost my stack of medical records and confabulated a story about the midwives taking them back to the office with them (I put them in the ottoman and forgot). I killed my precious houseplants because I could not come up with the energy to water them. My amazing supportive family doctor charged me $30 for a no-show to a well baby visit instead of doing a wellness check. I begged my husband for a post partum doula and he said no, we don't have the money. My MIL is an ex L+D nurse, has a second family across the country. My husband stated a new job and was wrapping up his other job and leaving me alone for 12+ hours days after the birth. Baby had been resuscitated due to low APGAR score. He did not even get full points for pulse. The midwife put him, literally coding, on me and I couldn't understand why nobody else in the room saw this limp, blue, non-breathing baby. He had difficulty latching and breastfeeding. NO HELP AT ALL. In a way the home visits by the midwives made it worse, I would have missed more in person appointments and maybe got help. I live in the commie paradise of Canada. In a subsequent pregnancy I had another bad outcome and reached out to three different programs and all three rejected me for being out of catchment or their waitlist being too long. Sorry for the oversharing!
@@Ditrich137 First pregnancy was 6 years ago. My third pregnancy, which was 10x worse where a condition potentially fatal to the fetus being studiously ignored and I was gaslighted into believing it was being managed, was a year ago. I function on a daily basis but I carry insane anger, resentment, and distrust toward doctors/midwives and medical establishment. I understand why some women skip out on prenatal care now. The term obstetric violence is not too strong.
My husband's grandmother suffered from PPD in 1922. She was placed in a mental institution after trying to take her own life. PPD was unheard of. The Dr's labeled her insane. She spent 30 years trapped inside. How sad that 100 years later such tragedy's continue to occur. My prayers for all who loved this vibrant beautiful mother of 3. So tragic.
My mothers mother too! For it was in the 1920’s! So damn sad! Then the kids were all eventually put in orphanages! The father just was so depressed after they took the mother away that two weeks later they put him away! Thank God I never experienced that!
its terrible that for such a long time it was taboo to have PPD and there is absoultly still a stigma. Its hard to look at the past and say “how could they” when there wasnt the information we have now. Luckily the stigma is starting to go away and it is more openly talked about and recognized. Mentall illenss is very hard to regonize and treat. I feel like with many new moms they feel as if its shameful to have Ppd because they dont want peiple to think they dont love there babies. This isnt the case and its terrible so many feel they cant come forward. There will most likely not be a cure or 100% prevention for awhile. Such tragedies are so hard to grasp and i cant comprehend what its like
Hey, I hope you are doing ok. Just want to let you know that I think you're incredible. Being a mom of one is no easy task, let alone triplets. I could only imagine how hard you went through and I wish you all the best.
Postpartum depression is no joke. Postpartum psychosis is real. This is not a joke , and no one can truly understand until you've been there. It's very scary. My heart breaks for her babies
PPP is so scary. My great grandmother experienced it during a time when no one cared. The only silver lining is maybe a mama sees this, realizes what she feels isn’t normal, and gets the help she needs !!
I struggled with ppd after having my son 2 years ago and I was too scared to reach out and get help. I was afraid they would take my baby away or say I wasn’t fit to be a mom because of my mental state. I faced so much darkness. The only reason I held on and kept going was because I didn’t want to leave my son without a mom. I’m so so grateful that I was able to hold onto that and that I’m still here today.
@mel...s Please!! Please!!!🙏🙏🙏 get the help you need, and go see a professional. You are not alone in this, and you're baby needs you. There are so many wonderful organizations, groups out there to help just reach out❤❤
@@mel...s Jesus I pray for this woman. I rebuke the ppd spirit from her. Level out the chemicals in her mind body soul spirit. I plead the blood of Jesus Christ of Nazareth over her and her 2 year old daughter. That they both come to know you Jesus intervene in their lives and I ask almighty God to put a child of God to witness to her. For you Lord Jesus Christ are all knowing and you are in control. In Jesus Name I pray 🙏🏼 amen 🙌🏼🙌🏼
This happened to my wife after our first son was born. Our greatest pillar in our friendship and marriage is communication even when it's tough. It was very difficult to go through and try to understand my wife in the best way we both could do. What helped so much is EDUCATION. She's a smart woman and the more she learned about postpartum depression, the more she began doing what's best for herself and I supported that if it didn't cause harm to her, me or our marriage. Now we have 3 boys and she is a super amazing mom and wife. She also reaches out to her friends and has helped other women with this difficulty. Communication and education is key in my opinion.
My wife said she focused on nutrition. The body is really missing so much!! Which can send the woman to a state of depression so by nourishing your body you will feel better she says. It took her still about 1yr but again. This isn’t an overnight battle.
I'm not a mom but from what I've seen, many people don't seem to fully grasp the extent of post-partum depression. I hope that more new moms and their partners can be educated about the signs and options of treatment available. I think that she collapsed faster because it was now two babies at once. That is so sad. May he be well-surrounded and may God gives him strength! May her soul rest in peace.
I'll tell you what having post partum depression is like in comparison to "regular" depression, the latter is gradual and you eventually notice you're not feeling yourself, people around you notice you're a bit down and not quite yourself until one day you might go to a doctor and have a conversation and hopefully get help. The former, is the equivalent of one day being completely fine and yourself to the feeling of being hit by a truck and where you have also had a lobotomy while being unconscious. There's nothing like it, more information and education is key as a help but I don't think it can be stopped, maybe in the future. Hormone imbalance is at the centre of it but again, it's tricky as you can't just get an over the counter remedy.
Many people don’t understand depression and suicide ideation in general, even if they claim to understand it. As someone who’s been there, your brain and consciousness feels like it’s working at 40%. The intrusive thoughts take whatever mental energy you have leftover. People still don’t understand that depressed people can not, and will not medically advocate for themselves. They really need the support of friends and family to get help. We’ve made great strides in accepting it, but still lack the understanding to actually help those of our community suffering from it. Humans weren’t designed to live so depressed. Brain scans show that suicide ideation is very similar to OCD. I would say that’s very accurate. You can’t stop thinking about it, no matter how hard you try. No amount of exercise or healthy eating helped me. Thankfully, I responded very well to medication. What did it take for me to actually get help? A failed attempt that landed me in the hospital. Before that, I couldn’t fathom that treatment would actually work. It feels so deeply embedded into your soul and reality, that you don’t have the capability to see anything beyond it.
Thank you for understanding we need more ppl like you that aren’t parents or haven’t gone through this and care, because it’s sad that I’ve heard and read many people especially from mothers that can be very judgmental just because they’ve never been through it and they laugh or call someone crazy, and that they should never have kids, a lot don’t ever understand until it happens. it’s very sad because of some people being so cruel a lot of (new) mothers are afraid to ask for help for the reason that they’re going to be judge, This needs to have more awareness everywhere.
I had it with all three of my pregnancies. Docs knew and I got meds the day I gave birth to my second. No chances. And it was safe for breastfeeding. With my third, I lost him at 15 weeks. I'm still suffering. But I'm here. So I'm one of the lucky ones. Much love sent to this family and those three little girls.
as someone with a thyroid disorder, it's _devastating_ how small hormonal changes can really mess your brain up. you literally have no control over yourself. I can only imagine what this mom was going through, and she fought with all she had.
It’s wild how tiny differences can make huge problems. I was using a low-dose of progesterone and suddenly I realized I hated everything all the time. I was in a half of a rage all day for no reason. I stopped using it and it took about two weeks to get back to normal, but I don’t even recognize myself for those few months. I’m lucky I didn’t get myself in trouble somehow. It was really, really bad
@@Meow4Bthat's another good thing to bring awareness to holy moly. I've heard of people taking medication they get really depressed, but never heard angry. Of course the hormones have an influence over you. My mom took a medication. A few years ago she said she felt crazy and paranoid while she was driving so she had to stop taking it.
@@samuelasanderinos1521 I believe we technically have choices, but everything is preplanned. any previous action negates specific choices and the end result is what was always planned. I think this helps a human being from going insane, that miniscule belief that we are of our own making and that we do have control. a rejection of that mindset is what creates insanity. which would lead you to wonder, all those things that people we deem insane see, is it really all in their heads or have they accidentally, or through illness, lifted that veil? and in order to keep the peace they are segregated from society and labeled crazy and 'other'. I don't believe we truly have freewill, but simultaneously I also like my sanity, and so I remain in a state of active/ conscious complacency.
That’s the most insane thing to me. Just hormonal and chemical imbalances can change your perception of reality so much. And we are completely at the mercy of something we can’t really control in our own bodies.
😢My youngest sister experienced it and took her own life over it, leaving a then nine month old baby girl. She never saw her baby girl get married nor be a grandma if Shantell has kids. Tyler, you were the best husband all you can do. Don't blame yourself and be the best dad you can to your kids.
My mom was hospitalized twice in 1975 when I was born with postpartum depression. Because of my family’s negative view on mental health treatment she never recovered. She’s going to turn 79 next week. I’m so sad for how difficult her life has been. Bless this family. Sending love.
Thank you for sharing. Idk you or her struggles, but I am so glad she will be 79 and glad that she’s got you. I just wanted to wish her a happy birthday, and let her know she raised a good kid. Be easy
I struggle with depression and my family has a negative view on it to. I feel that no one has the patience to deal with me and my mental illness and it really is harder
I lost my mom to suicide when I was 8 and little bro 2 years ago. I've struggled with depression for over a decade. The heartache is tremendous, but I still can't imagine losing my spouse to the disease. Every case is so different. But I can empathize with the pain and wish I didn't hear of another person suffering this loss. I am so very sorry! ❤
So heartbreaking. No woman can be prepared for the changes our body and life goes through so quickly. My prayers are with this family and all in similar situations.
Very brave of him to speak about this form of depression, if this saves just one person he should be proud he has spoken out , hope he finds peace and happiness in the future
Seeing her smile in the photos knowing she was experiencing such pain and mental anguish, it really shows how hard it can be to miss the signs. Even with plans in place, medication, supportive family, open dialogue. A lot of people don’t realise that when your brain in experiencing all of that change in such a sudden and short time, sometimes nothing will ever be enough. I’m sure holding her babies and knowing they’d be safe and happy brought her some level of joy and comfort, but behind her upturned lips and light eyes is a darkness and doom that she could not escape. And just looking at her, most people wouldn’t know. Depression: the stealth killer. Even if you know it’s there and you do all the right things to “take the edge off”, it takes over your life. I wish her family the best in life, and hope her wonderful husband reminds his kids of how incredible she was ❤
This is the reason I only had 2 kids. Thank God for my husband who never left my side. He was going to school full time and working full time when I went through some of my darkest days. I learned of PPD years afterward but something just told me I didn’t need to have anymore kids. As for hubby, I owe him my life.
So very sad and tragic. I remember sobbing hysterically in the corner of the kitchen after putting the babies to bed just wondering what was wrong with me. I survived but not because I wanted to, I just happened to. So I hurt for this family knowing how overwhelming this sudden moment of hopelessness can be for a new mom.
This is really one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen. This is a man who clearly adored his wife. This is a woman who was, when thinking clearly, a great wife and mom. They seemed to have a plan in place for her based on the timeline of her first pregnancy. Then, boom, it hit that quickly. I just can't fathom how severe it must have been for this woman to want to end her own life. Obviously she wasn't thinking clearly at all, but just the extent it altered her mind is frightening. I think that should be part of after care after giving birth - monitoring for that. With someone who had the worst case the hospital had seen with her first, it seems the doctors should have advised them better - that this could be worse and happen more quickly. My heart breaks for that man and his beautiful family. He clearly misses his wife, and he has three small children to care for.
I don't want to seem like I'm judging ţhem, but maybe it would have been better to have someone stay with the family and monitor her specifically. So tragic
@@moonlightpixie9976 oh really? He *forced* her? Where did they include that detail, because I must have missed it… she looked very happy during the footage of the gender reveal for the twins, and in the photos from directly after their birth. Definitely doesn’t seem like anyone “forced” her to have more children. You know what, it’s actually really messed up to blame ANYONE here, especially this husband who clearly loved his wife and cared enough for her to have a plan put into place for after birth. He is mourning the loss of his wife, caring for 2 little babies and their 4yo, after just having his entire world shattered. I’d imagine he’s the one who found her body as well, so that image will surely haunt him for the rest of his life. Nobody deserves that, just like nobody deserves to be blamed for their spouse’s suicide. If you’re not here to express sympathy and kindness, perhaps it’d be best to keep your cruel speculations to yourself on this matter.
Having a baby that you need to take care of 24/7 would make any person depressed and absolutely terrified. I can't blame the moms for losing it. Rest in peace.
the majority of ppd cases are caused by hormone changes and history of depression in the family. yeah the stress that comes with taking care of a newborn adds to it, but that’s not the cause of postpartum depression..
@@seamonkeyluveryeah I had really bad PPD with my first daughter. I was young, still dealing with depression, and it resulted in me thinking she hated me - an infant hating their mother ….. I had a good support system and resources, but it wasn’t the late night feeds, or juggling school, or anything else BUT the hormones levels causing me to lie to myself about how my daughter felt about me. I’m pregnant again and I get depressed for no reason so can only pray that this time around I can handle things better than I did with my 1st. This video reminded me to talk to everyone about how I’m feeling and seek therapy. PPD is so so real.
@@simplysaiige your baby loves you more than anything in the whole world and always has, our minds can play tricks on us but we have to stay strong and realize that the negative feelings aren’t true and they WILL pass. you sound like an amazing mother and i’m sending you all the love and positivity i can. i’m wishing you a safe delivery and that you and the new baby will be as happy and healthy as you can be. never ever hesitate to reach out for help when you need it, this is not uncommon and there’s so many resources out there for situations like yours, you’re not alone in this!! we’ll overcome this together💗💗
@@seamonkeyluver This really just helped me thru a reallyyyy rough morning! Im grateful for people like you in the world. I definitely plan on getting some support soon! I appreciate your sensible and kind words. I’m wishing you all the best as well. 💗😊
This poor lady had a toddler and two newborns. It’s shocking anyone survives that actually. The husband probably just went to work all day so she was by herself
This is deeply heartbreaking. Personal experience with PPD is the primary reason I'm not considering another baby. When I had my daughter 3 years ago, I tried to explain to my husband how numb and empty I felt. Instead of the support I hoped for, he mentioned he'd read that fathers can also experience PPD. Thankfully, I sought help and feel better now, but our marriage has been forever changed by that time. Sending love and strength to all who've been through this. 💔
Maybe some women don't want to discuss it because of how our court system treats people with a mental illness. A new mom reaches out for help and next thing you know she's losing custody.
Happened to me, I took myself to the hospital after a year of trying to get help and doing all I can to help myself and my sons father took it to court and got custody of him even though they said I was perfectly fine to look after him and met all his needs they did it as a just incase I get depressed again. It’s been 7 yrs and I can’t get him back and my son doesn’t want to be with him. It’s a very sad situation for kids to be in.
@@chloehutton5421 Chloe, I'm sooooo very sorry you and your child have had to suffer trauma at the hands of the US Legal System. It's occurring every single day in all 50 states and it's a travesty. Sadly, the effects are lifelong. #BTDT
Poor man. He's so despondent. Sad story. Glad he has the courage to speak out. My daughter experienced severe PPD as well and sought care. She almost lost her family but doing better today. ❤
I suffered from severe post partum depression with my first child and it was very painful. In the 1980's, it wasn't really something anyone spoke of. I ended up having to give up my child because of it. Another painful part of my life. There needs to be more awareness of this. God Bless You sir, the Lord will lead you in the way you should go.
you did the best thing possible at the given circumstances. Now the child has at least a mother that it someday could reach out to, once old enough. Way better outcome for the child then the alternative
As a mother of 3, currently pregnant with twin boys now, my heart goes out to him and his children. My brother lost his wife to suicide in 2021. Together, they had 2 small boys, ages 5 and 2. She struggled with depression and gave no indication she would take her own life the day it happened. This is something that affects the entire family. I can't imagine the pain of losing your spouse. I can only hope he has as much support as he needs as well as his children and may God bless him and his family!
This breaks my heart for this mom and her family. I had PPD with my second pregnancy. It was so hard. I felt like I was barely hanging on by a string. I wanted to die so badly. It was too much. It’s not selfishness as so many say. I truly believed I wasn’t good enough for my family, they would be so much better off without me. Everything in my head was twisted. I am a social worker and I knew what was happening but I still couldn’t grasp it. I had means, a plan and I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want to be stopped. If it wasn’t for Jesus. I wouldn’t be here. Some may think I’m crazy for saying that but I don’t care. It is truly because of Jesus I am here. I am praying for this family.
you ain’t crazy HUNTY. I’m only here because of Jesus too 💅🏽 I also know that when I start having kids (I’m a 20 year old female college student), that I’ll definitely seek out therapy, medication, and other resources to make sure I’m okay. And of course, the Holy Spirit. God bless you 🥺
Jesus can help overcome what seems impossible. There were times when I wanted to give up but I was reminding of Jesus and it was like a sting telling me don't go there! I was like yes ok 👍 👌
Postpartum depression is heartbreaking because people see you, but people don’t know how dark, lonely and depressing things really get. I had it after my second child and oh my, It was by far the hardest thing Ive had to push through and get out of alone. Its common that in hispanic households like my own to have this subject brushed off as if its a minor cut and it will heal on its own within days. I am third generation and my grandma still around, so best believe that those culture beliefs of not being a strong enough women if you complain or have any type of remote conversation about feeling are still around. I didn’t have their support and my husband who has 3 brothers had little to no clue what I was going through. Some days I would cry all day long with out any explanation or sense of why I was crying. It was horrible. What helped me the most was finding time for myself to go on walks and read. I hope any mom that is going through this currently seeks help if they feel is out of their hands to deal with. ❤
I told someone in my husband's family that I was suicidal as a kid, and they called it a faze. I'm so sorry you had that experience, you are strong and brave.
My condolences for the loss of this beautiful wife and mother. Postpartum depression can be insidious. Some mothers can even fear getting help for it because they think it makes them unfit to be a mother. We have to start educating mothers as soon as they find out they're expecting. Don't wait for the first symptoms to show up.
And for couples going through Fertility Treatment or IVF, the treatments can be very rough on the body, mind and spirit. My friend who went through ppd after her second full term pregnancy was picked up as ppd during that pregnancy ended up finding the 3rd therapist was the one who was able to help her. Don't be afraid to ask for a second or third person to help. Her husband picked up where she could not and they have come out the other side.
So heartbreaking. Please don’t judge a new mom, it is hard and can change not only our bodies but our minds. Be kind to others, ask new moms if they need help because we all do. Prayers to the family and those precious babies.
@@misskaryn9902 I’m sorry that happened to you. Families should be supportive but sadly sometimes they are not. It truly takes a village to raise children. If only everyone helped each other out… best wishes to you. 💕
@@misskaryn9902 That is some bullshit. I wish your besties would have come over to help. Your fam should have for sure. I've always offered to come over, toss some laundry in, do some grocery shopping. Even if they don't accept, at least they know someone offered... We gotta help each other out!
I have PPD and I read the book “if mama ain’t happy” and it helped me so much. I see a therapist almost weekly and I have a very supportive partner and grandmother that I call. I wish I weren’t as alone as I am now but it’s possible to enjoy motherhood even when there are times you feel like wanting to not exist anymore
@@brookiejai It's absolutely real and it hits you like a ton of bricks. As you know, there are lots of reasons given that can cause the condition, like lack of sleep, decrease in hormones, physical changes, emotional issues, etc. The thing is, after coming home, I felt great. I was trying on my old clothes and everything fit perfectly. I weighed 89 lbs. pre-pregnancy and 100 at my son's birth, so I wasn't worried about that part. In '68, you had 2 choices for anesthesia...a full spinal or general anesthesia! I chose the spinal. Two days after being home and feeling good, I started having those hideous 'spinal headaches.' The pain was SO severe, but only lasted a few days. Then, the depression hit. I've never been so empty, scared, sad, and alone in my life. I was desperate to escape what I was feeling.
@@lindahandley5267 thank you for sharing your story with me. My grandmother gave birth to my dad in 1970 as a single mother so I have heard about the difficulties of giving birth and everything of that time. My birth was easy but once my son started having severe acid reflux, it went downhill. I never had experience with babies and the constant screaming was very triggering for me. Prior to getting pregnant my life was so simple and peaceful that I felt cured of my previous trauma. Turns out I just didn’t have triggers in my life anymore so I felt so distant from the pain. Now I’m learning to cope with them and also dealing with still being 45lbs heavier than I was. It’s a lot but I’m sooo proud of myself for making it out of that dark hole I felt like I was in
@@brookiejai You're welcome Brook and thank you for your story as well. The 60's and 70's were a rockin' time, we were 'cool', listening to the best bands ever and were just kids ourselves, but it sounds so old when you talk about your Grandmother giving birth to your Dad in 1970! I feel silly complaining, compared to My maternal Grandmother, when she was young and giving birth in the early 1900s! My Grandfather developed very severe arthritis and became an invalid early in their marriage. On top of that, his elderly mother came to live with them. My Grandmother had 9 children, (1 set of twins.) She cooked 3 meals a day, made all of their clothes and also worked in the fields. She had all of her babies at home. It almost doesn't sound possible, but people were made of tough stuff back then. I never heard her mention depression. She was my hero! However, PPD is another animal altogether. You lose control of your thoughts and your body, taking you down into that deep hole of depression. I think one Big thing that would have helped would have been group therapy with other young mothers so that they could talk and share what they were going through, to see that they were not alone in it...almost like meetings for alcoholics and their families to educate them on what it's is like for the young mother. I'm glad we were one of the lucky ones who made it through. God bless the others who weren't as fortunate. 🥀Take care!
Mental health and postpartum depression really needs to be looked at and treated so much better. There's no reason things like this should still be happening with all of the progress we've made in mental health.
We're still in the dark ages in terms of mental health. So little is understood about the brain. Our treatment methods are better than they were but so far from what's needed. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the US, and it's been getting worse amount youth and the victims are getting younger. We need to make this a top healthcare priority.
This brought me to tears. Struggling with depression is hard. It's even harder in a vulnerable state like being a brand new mother or even being a mother of a young child. There were days that I thought my daughter would be better without me, too. Facing this thoughts deeply scared me, because I wasn't conscious my depressions are still there. Thought I'd let them go years ago 😔
Postpartum depression was so hard to get through. I really felt my life was over .. that I was so sad and I hated life... I felt like a bad mom for not bonding with my son right away . I seeked help immediately because all I did was cry til my eyes were shut.
I had PPD with my first child. It was so scary, luckily it never got as bad as this but it's difficult to understand if you haven't been through it. I had tons of support and got professional help, my husband was wonderful. This was 32 yrs ago and it still sends shivers down my spine thinking about it. It lasted for several months. To feel so hopeless, lost, afraid and empty after you've just had the baby you couldn't wait to welcome into the world is FRIGHTENING. Peace to her family.
My heart breaks for this family. I hope the moms and dads family envelop this man and his children to help him and his children through the most painful chapter in their lives.
This is so heartbreaking. I had PPD but I believe mine was a pretty minor case. The doctor that delivered my daughter had weekly check ins with me for awhile after birth and would ask me a set of questions and I’m so glad she did that because she caught something was wrong before I did. I thought I was just sleep deprived and overwhelmed. Even with the proper help I know it can be extremely scary and difficult though but it’s just so extremely sad.
happened to my mom too, she suffered from PPD after having my younger brother and literally could not take care of him. She told me she had thoughts of suicide or harming my brother because of it. However, thank god we have supportive grandparents. My mom gave my brother and me for my grandparents to raise for one year while she recovered. We've had a normal family relationship since then, I'm off to college and my younger brother is off to High School. She loves us both now and would do anything to protect us.
Wow, I am glad this is long over for your mom. Can you let me know how she managed to recover - it sounds like she was by herself, or am I mistaken? As a depressed person my recovery was virtually impossible home alone, hence the question.
@@boomds5602probably to give him the ability to be completely free and put all his focus into taking care of his wifes needs so she could fully recover.
May be because she didn’t want to be around the children at that time and her father had to take care of her mother with top priority? Why does it matter to you ? Man bashing instinct? The decision worked out for them based on the comment and that’s all that matters .
As a mother of 2, I feel so sad for those who suffer from PPD. I pray that those who suffer get diagnosed while still in the hospital. I don’t know much about PPD because I barely heard of it. Watching this video and reading the comments really opened my eyes to how serious this is. I remember my sister crying after giving birth but she was in her room and no one knew except my son who was 3 years old at the time. We only found out cause my sister came out of the room laughing, then she told us that she was feeling sad and started crying but she didn’t know why she was sad. My son just so happen to go into her room where he saw her crying. He ran up to her, gave her a big hug and said, “Don’t cry, aunty, I know where we got him from. We can take him back!” I think that helped her because anytime she started feeling sad, she thought of that then felt better.
True. I felt that he was also blaming himself because he knows his wife had postpartum and it was one of the worst but he still got her pregnant.. maybe he thought she can survive it again but no, she didnt.
I know. He could barely move words through his mouth. Such pain behind his eyes that he can’t look into the camera. Just seeing him hurts, can’t imagine what he’s truly going through..
@@Kathakathan11no he's not. She was an adult capable of making choices. She also choose to die knowing what postpartum was and that is temporary and she got through it before. Just days after giving birth. It's like she didn't even try
I experienced something called PPMD when I miscarried a pregnancy. It was like a complete chemical switch of my brain. All of the sudden my skin was crawling and I wanted to jump out a second story window. It happened so fast. Within minutes and it felt like I became literally ‘mad.’ I had young children at the time. Got medical attention right away. It it went away thank God! I’m also a mother of twins. This story is beyond heartbreaking. My prayers are with this entire family❤❤❤❤
@@santanahibbler it happened in minutes. One minute I felt myself, then all of the sudden I felt a switch in my brain. Like a chemical switch and I suddenly felt mental. It was far beyond PMS. I was so scared not to recognize myself anymore. We need to have great compassion for women going through postpartum and their families. It’s very real and dangerous. ❤️ I later went on to give birth to beautiful twins and never experienced anything again. 🙏
I don’t have kids yet but that is what I have. Every month (when it gets close to my cycle) it comes but I am now on medication to help manage it. It just came out of nowhere.
I had very bad postpartum depression and it lasted about 1.5 years. Definitely the most alone and scared I’ve ever felt. I called the suicide prevention hotline on two separate occasions and the advice or help offered seemed insincere and actually made me feel more alone. This is making me rethink if im ready for another baby.
The suicide line is more keenly, too interested and judgemental in how you plan to kill yourself than the reason why. Maybe to check to see if you are really serious. But what you need is for someone to care enough to listen and offer support and a little empathy.
I think women who KNOW they are prone to depression or who have struggled with it previously, should NOT HAVE CHILDREN. It is a reckless, feckless choice to procreate when you are unstable mentally, financially, socially. You don't mention a husband, which disqualifies you by definition. Single motherhood has done untold damage to society and should be condemned.
It's ok to choose not to have kids (or more kids), although what the person before me said was rude, and presence of a husband is irrelevant. But I just wanted to add my two cents that I support making a personal decision to not have kids if one already knows they're prone to serious depression. I (as a woman) made that choice and still don't regret it. But obviously it's a personal decision.
@@MargaretNolan-c1t I think men should be forced to get a vasectomy if they impregnate women who are not their wives or dedicated partners. These irresponsible males should have to pay full child support, change all the diapers, make their brats meals, wash their dishes and their clothes..and go to all the PTA and after school activites and meetings. Plus pay for their education, cars and weddings. Nope, won't happen. These men lie to get what they want and leave, or worse, stay, hang around like a parasite, and do nothing, but suck the life out of her.
@Margaret Nolan Such uneducated words. First PPD can happen to EVERYONE, whether they had depression in the past or not. It can hit you way harder if you had no understanding of it since you have no idea how to manage it or ask for help. Second, single mothers are often the result of FATHERS leaving them and refusing to take responsibility. A baby is made in two, last time I checked. Maybe work on your internalized misogyny, you seem to hate on women a bit too easily.
My mental health really went downhill during my first and only pregnancy with my daughter. I will not be getting pregnant again because I know this could be the outcome for me too, and I want to be the best mom to my daughter that I can be.
Thank you for speaking out. Many of us do not know these. While some of us are not parents yet and we don't care about how many children people choose to have, I know it can be hard with those around you asking about "when is the next one". May these shared stories make people learn to control the questions they ask around others.
You all are wise ladies. I wish more ladies think like you. Women who have ppd or postpartum psychosis should not have any more children. They are more likely to experience it again more intensely. I'm glad you all overcame and are loving mother's to your one child. You get to raise and see them grow up. ❤
So sad. As the mom of twins, I experienced Baby Blues after bringing my twins home from the hospital. I was extremely anxious and sad and exhausted all the time. Thankfully medication helped and my moods were better after a few months. I feel terrible for this family and I hope this father gets all the support he needs moving forward
@@cecilycook5592it may be very well 2 different things but this woman still needed help and thankfully she received help. No situation is better than the other. All require some sort of intervention.
Your a fool if u need to point out the differences. This lady shared something personal and you being a Karen shows me ur slack in character. Shame on you.
I’m so sorry for this woman and her family. I had severe postpartum depression with my third child and I’ve never experienced anything more helpless or frightening in my life. I felt like a passenger in my own body looking out at others and not being able to convey my desperation. It is terrifying beyond measure to learn that your mind can take you to such a place.
This is just heart wrenching… I cannot fathom how this man and the family must feel… these are supposed to be some of the best times in your life.. I am so sorry this mom felt her only way out was in her death… I pray that this family find the peace that passes all understanding because this is just too deep to bear alone… 💔💔💔
I struggled with depression from as early as the age of 10 all the way through my late 20's. I know what this mom was going through and I hate it when people who deserve to have every chance to live aren't able to overcome these demons. It just breaks my heart. My heart, prayers, and most heartfelt sympathies go out to this family and all their friends and relatives.
@@Meow4Bwell for this situation I think is a little bit complicated. Possibly she felt really lucky to have the twins so she said of course I will deliver them!
@@atleastimtrying5391no… the chemicals in our brain literally change due to depression. And it’s easier said than done to just “forget about it”. Wish it was that easy to solve.
This is a sad story and one that I have seen too many times as a medical assistant that worked in OBGYN. I have consoled so many of my patients and were able to get the help they needed. It is sooo heartbreaking and the stigma of mental health shouldn't result in a sentence of suffering or death. I hope that the family keeps spreading the message
As someone who suffered from ppd, my heart breaks for this family. I had the benefit of having my sister to talk to about the negative feelings I had after giving birth. I felt like a failure for not feeling connected to my baby and for feeling depressed when I thought I should feel happy. People need to tell new moms about the serious issue postpartum depression can be - heck even the feeling of being disappointed or not feeling the elation you’re expected to feel when you’ve had a baby are all valid feelings. Just like you are taught how to give birth or take care of a newborn, the medical community and mommy groups and everything else needs to talk openly about this and make it clear there’s nothing wrong with the feelings so women are not scared or ashamed for feeling the way they do.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. When I gave birth to my first child, I remember after two days the postpartum depression hit like a freight train. I remember weeping in my hospital room, staring up at the parking garage outside my window and thinking “if I can get to the roof I can jump off and make this all end. I wanted to die so bad. The postpartum depression lasted for a year and a half before suddenly lifting. In that time, I couldn’t bond with my baby. I had a severe eating disorder, having lost 50 pounds in 3 months despite already being thin. I hated my life. Fast forward 8 years, I was working in that same hospital as a social worker, helping other new moms begin to navigate postpartum depression, I am so thankful for that opportunity and want anyone who’s out there struggling with postpartum depression to know that you are not alone.
it's so crazy because they did everything right...went to see a doctor, got on meds, had a plan after delivery...and still it wasnt enough :( rip Ariana
Maybe they needed a better plan that included specialists. Perhaps deciding together to NOT have MORE children after bad experience of PPD with 1st child
There are no words to express the sorrow I feel for this family. I hope their message reaches millions so that others can recognize the subtle changes in mew mother's behavior so this tragedy can be avoided. My heart goes out to this family and I hope his children know they are loved by their mother, just from a diffrent realm.😢❤
I’m so deeply hurt to hear of your family’s loss. This is not something anyone missed preparing for. This is so severe it’s not under our control. But your love for her and your children shines through your message to others. This is real. We need to learn more. We need to work together to help people everywhere. She was the best mom she could be. My heart will never forget her and your family’s experience. I had a severe PPD. Over 20 years ago. It was something I shared with people in hopes of helping others and I still do. I’m grateful for your message. You will help others.
So unimaginably sorry to hear this. This man is so courageous to speak out when his heart is broken in pieces. Words are nothing but l wish him and his family a measure of peace. His dear wife lives on through their children.
I'm sorry, such a terrible illness and devastating loss. She seems like a lovely person and a doting mom in these videos. I hope someone benefits from your kind sharing and is able to have a different outcome.
Oh how awful! Incredibly sad! Seems they did everything right. My heart goes out to those poor kids and their father. You can see how much weight he’s lost already from losing his wife and the mother of his young children. I hope he can find his peace and I pray she is at peace 🙏
What amazes me and what is so hard for a person who has never gone through this to understand, is the totality of the devastation in those moments. It seems that there is no room, no perspective from which to reason with oneself or see any way past the overwhelming pain. My heart aches for this and goes out to anyone affected by this devastating disease. 🙏❤
