Three things: 1. At 2:47: I say that there is a higher chance of married couples staying with their parents due to higher fertility. Instead, it should be a higher chance of parents staying with their children. Higher chances of married couples staying with their parents occur due to lower fertility, not higher 2. Would also like to hear interesting stories from you if your family or a family that you know doesn't abide by conventional societal norms. E.g., parents staying with married daughter. Have something to share? 3. Yes, I have a wife. That colourful bookshelf is because of her #WifeOP
One another reason why parents in India stay with their children is that parents are not financially independent. Often lower middle class families spent all their money on children’s education and marriage and during their old age they are left with nothing. Mostly in western countries senior citizens do get a good amount as pension and they get all medical coverage. In UK even public transportation is free for 60+. India being a developing country is not able to provide these facilities and poor parents are dependent upon their children. Great topic btw.
@prak problem with our college is that they teach all thing java,c++,python,web development,networking,data structure, mpi, and many more. instead they should give option, so i can choose my own field, i want to go into.
@@anjalimali06 actally he dont look like teenager, but atleast minimum of 25 yrs or around it. But simultaneously, he even look as old as, he is married
Economically Joint families are OK but on the other hand Joint Families are biggest reason behind many Mental health issues.. Joint families literally butchers Personal aspirations.
True, especially for the daughter in law. She is supposed to understand, and adjust, and appreciated the nature of all the members of the family from day one!! She should show respect to her mother in law even if the Mil is mean, manuplative and a total jerk!! Freedom and privacy go out of the window. Not fair.
@@athensmajnoo3661 Worst thing is that Joint Family System is also responsible for Sexual abuse of Children's & Women's.. & there are documentary evidence which shows How close relatives do Sexual abuse with Children who doesn't even know what Sex is..
I have a mixture of them. My grandparents live in an apartment whereas my family lives in another apartment next to it. I get both the joint and nuclear experience
@@krateproductions4872 my also grandma lives in a diffrent apartment she has maids to help her we fully financially support her but we live directly next to her in a house
In Meghalaya we have a matrilineal society. Where the youngest daughter inherits the property from the parents and the parents stays with the daughter. We have a good example that even parents staying with their daughters are more than happy family.
Don't leave.. it's one's choice ultimately...but ask mother's.. they want to be alone for a while with their husbands finally..need some space after a period of time
Just watch the video,"WHAT MAKES INDIAN SOCIETY SO RACIST", at the end(till very end), you will notice a woman sitting between Mohak & Swapnil, she might be Mohak 'S WIFE.
I am a 25 years old woman, will complete my B.Ed within next year, wanna live single for whole life, just trying for a settled job so that I can move out from my parents' house... Don't know if there are many women like me in India. Even though our family isn't that big ( 2 younger brothers and parents), but I think living in a big family can create rift between hearts...
Its a problem when your in laws have a different mindset, they don't give freedom to their kids to take their own decision and many don't give freedom to their daughter in law.
It is the case most of the time. The generation gap between the parents in law and daughter in law makes it difficult to accept each others ideas. Asking for little freedom and privacy is a sin on the part of a bahu !!
The different mindset implies only on DILs. In our society, guys get a pass which apparently guys have no clue about until they voluntarily choose to pay attention. This is rare like finding Koala bears anywhere else in the world. :) It's a sad truth. I hope women understand the meaning of financial freedom.
@@markjuliuspratchardpratcha1550 you took the words right out of my mouth. No one can 'give' me something that has always been mine. Not certainly someone else's parents.
No, I don't agree... Maybe he meant to stress the fact that in generations before us, there were already some people who had the courage to do things beyond mainstream. :-)
I would love to stay with my parents and in laws. My sister is a psychiatrists in US and she always talks about how more and more people are giving up lives and going into depression due to extreme loneliness . Its not much talked in india because we want the other , to have some free time. lol . But yeah , its a huge problem in US , even Japan and China . But if your in-laws are not supportive or sometimes, lets accept it, some people do have toxic parents, then its ok to live outside. But if not , give it a thought. I would never send my parents to old house , or dont ever want to be far away from them in their old age, when they were present for me in my young days.
@Amandeep Wahi well my bf and me have decided to do just that. We both are one child and we understand the importance of parents. Maybe try to find better men rather than blaming all men.
Hmm very true. In India, knowledge about contraceptive methods and STDs is very less among men and women. Unprotected consensual sex between partners is steadily on the rise😭😭
@@thanzeer_24 70s generation is on a 'sexual' decline right now where women's are approaching menopause so i dont think so "educating" them would be of much use
Ultimately they do produce less children's but sometimes they overdo it for example Japan and western Europe where there population is "ageing", lacking younger population is not a good thing in economic sense
Joint family survives on the silent labour of daughter in laws. If they have a choice they won't do it. But I do know many working women, who after having children, want a joint family - but only if in laws are decent.
As a child we depend on our parents, as a senior citizen we depend on our sons or daughters, 2/3 of our life's we need someone to support us emotionally or financially or through physical labour but when we became young like self sufficient we start thinking about independence & willingness to do things etc I agree if MIL or FIL are psychopaths or willingly torture a DIL I can understand her concern but most of our generation feed with Western thoughts of liberty freedom equality e.t.c are unable to adjust to family needs..even husbands have problems in their lives.. Indian marriage system is a time tested social mechanism where people find it worthy of some compromises
@@batuklal that is false info, a massive exaggeration. Every man and woman in India doesn't live with their parents. Many couples nowadays and for a long time have been living in homes of their own with privacy. And if you are talking about the young Indians, well even then many under 20 ppl have to live somewhere else for work reasons.
I would love to see women also bringing their parents to stay with her after marriage after all we women also got good education,job,money we have responsibilities towards our parents and we worry about their well-being.That would lead to happy married life.
True, I remember that after marriage I got a new job and it was very wellpaid and my dream job. I was very fair and said to my husband that I want to gift something to our elders....so we had the same budget for both my Mother In Law and my own mum. But by God the way I was spoken to (and the tamasha that happened)for giving gift to my mum was an eye-opener(because naive me showed it in the sasural too) jab ki fact is that it was my parents who supported me to get good education and ultimately get that job. This is the mind set they want educated, intelligent,good-looking girl who earn a good salary, but does not talk back, and is good at house work too aur marriage ke baad aapne parents ko nahi bas sasural walo ki seva kare.
Blue Bird 122 : you are always your parents daughter, an individual with her own feelings. Don’t listen/ bend over to your sasuraal walas who want someone with her mouth shut. Because no one ought to be live like that.
My mom faced something similar. She wasn't even "allowed" to meet her mother who was living by herself. Screw patriarchy. You do you girl! Just ignore them. It's difficult to change thinking of people in their 50s or 60s.
I am a single daughter of my parents. They both have provided me a lot, i was raised in quite a well to do family. Today i am a doctor and i do not want to leave my parents to get married and move to my husband's house. Also I am the sole descendent of my whole family as my father is a single son himself. I do not know what to do. Any views anyone?
@@gold29327 bruh same case like you, i m the only son and my father is an air force officer tho he is serving right now, he always tells me to not worry about us but sometimes i think if i start living indipendently far from my parents then who will gonna look after them, they are getting old and even tho they act like they are strong and can live without me but as an only son it's my responsibilty to support them mentally and physically so i decided that wherever i will go my parents will stay with me, my parents are more important to me than my personal space so i don't mind that and imo if i get married in future to a girl who is an only daughter of her family then her parents are also most welcome to live with us too that way both our problems will be sorted out🙂
My mental health was compromised a lot when I stayed with my in-laws for 6 months. Those little taunts here and there shattered me completely and I had to go see a therapist a few days back. I never want to live with them now ever, they can live next door or nearby but not under one roof.
@@Nimish204 only if the ppl ur living with are kind and considerate... generally it's not the case and many have an opinion on how to live ur own life... consider it like having a bad roomate but their blood related
Khas ladkiya saadi ke baad bhi apne maa papa ke pass reh pati jese ladke rahte hai. 😔😔 Agr india ka esa culture or ladkiya bhi apne maaa papa ko apne pass rakh pati to sayad India's beto ke saath saath beti hone ki bhi mannat magte
I think we should stay with mom and dad because they may need us ....❤ and they did everything for us to grow up ...... so we should take care of them too when they are old ...❤️❤️❤️❤️
What if lifestyle doesn’t match ? Then better not to marry I guess. Because we can stay with husband but not in laws if that happens. Old ppl should know that they have lived their life. And now should allow us to live ours.
@@realworld1626 why so sir...... I know People at adulthood do need some personal time..... But what about our mother and father who brought us up ??????
My brother bought house and wanted our parents to move with him as his children will get an emotional growth(her wife got office job too)but they plainly denied as they hate to be in metro cities (no clean water as they don't like the taste of filtered water, pollution etc)😂
@rajesh maurya it's people of Delhi who do that...so no one else can be blamed...also Delhi along with 14 others are the most polluted cities of the world.so I don't think any more explanation is needed😑
Put these men with their parents for 48 hrs . Then see them run away. They expect their wife to live all their life with these people and play Balaji serial ki wonderful wife.
how will you feel if your children i mean your boy's wife say that to you... parents are everything.. just for some sexual vibe or attraction you can't separate a men from his family like this.. i mean he passed all his life with them.. if you marry a guy ,, your just a person who just entered his life.. it's really unfair you do this, it's like your'e snatching him from his real family.. and their love. i dont have to explain it to you....... i just wanna say that just put yourself in your mother in laws place... and you will feel that.. you will know how it feel to have your own child neglect you.. even i'm a girl.. so i really feel that.
Joint family with girl parents and girl side siblings will be Soo much peaceful and happy and satisfying I wish I could see such revolution in the society where men go to girls house after marriage....
Role reversal and reverse discrimination can only hurt gender equality. Never forget that there are a number of working women who prefer to stay in joint families. Family dynamics are varied and complex. A blanket statement that joint family is the best or nuclear is the best is short sighted. However, it is increasingly being seen in urban areas that families that live in separate homes but close together in the same complex or neighbourhood are the happiest rather than all under one roof.
Guys and girl's from my schools and college's are still single, We all are 30 years old and we have jobs both guys and girls The state is called KERALA
Because of patrilocal system , only men tends to live with his parents not women. So in thought of oldage security that son will live with his parents till oldage - every parents tends to have atleast one son . This creates gender favouriblity and people perform heinous trends like female foeticide. Dowry culture wouldn't even exist if patrilocal system isn't there.
I am from Lahore Pakistan and I have never seen a married boy living separately from his parents. Joint families are the culture of subcontinent. Parents would never allow their boys to settle separately as they consider them their assets. Rich or poor precedent remains the same. By the way great content mohak.
Isn't it amazing how it's so evident how conservative narrow minded attitude isnt landing these messed up southeast asian countries anywhere still they have to adhere to traditional f*cked up values,,while adoring the West???
@@rey4059 😂 they should've done the same. Oh well, too late for that now! Fyi your feminist friends will shun you if you disagree with them on anything btw, not kidding, do research. Later ✊
@@SrMway ah another one who does get what the heck feminism even is. I would recommend you to do your research first but some people just choose to stay ignorant
@rey I do know what feminism is and I don't have any issues with the defenition of the word "feminism". An idea and the execution of it are two different things. It's amusing when feminists use the comeback "oh you don't know the definition of feminism" as if anyone is stupid enough to get annoyed at women having the same rights as men. smh Don't listen to me, watch Sam Harris (atheist, neuroscientist) interview with McWhorter where they talk about this issue. Dude feminism is officially a problem for free people everywhere 👍
Salaries remains the same for years and the real estate rental and sale prices in the city are too damn expensive. Even if my salary is 40k per month a flat in Mumbai would cost 20-25k and around 15k in Pune.
20-25 lack in Mumbai? kaha milega Bhai mujhebhi batade. Puri life yehi rahahu. 40 lack to chal me room ka rate hai hamre yaha. if you want to buy a flat in building 60+ lack needed (for 1bhk). source: I am from Mumbai and my 'family' recently bought a flat a few years ago.
@@siddheshkakade2888 Bro even in Pune a good flat is over 30lakh( at good neighborhood), even in Aurangabad which is smaller than Pune, many row houses are now between 20 - 30 lakh outside city without water and drainage system and roads.
Most millenials can not self-sustain without the help of the parents of either stakeholder of a marriage, especially when to plan to have a child. The traditional maternal practices in this country also dictates the importance of motherhood and deep rooted into us. Due to this most mothers are not comfortable with the concept of leaving their child with professionals just because they are strangers, and are getting more and more dependent on parents. Apart from the real estate affordability issue, this, in my experience is one of the major reasons of stem families. To conclude, millennials are incapable of most things in regular life yet they are getting married without having any idea about it and shamelessly gets more dependant on parents.
True.. would also like to add even parents want their kids to stay with them so that their business legacy is continued. My husband joined the family business and at the same time he started his own venture as well and is successful.. I joined the family business and multiplied the branch. Parents get income security and health as well that at 2am if they have any health issue we are there for them and same I get security they will take care of my kids in my absence.. if done in the right way then both the parties can benifit from each other.
I love when men talks about the women's issues, i feel women participation is decreasing workforce due to societal. Norm to stay at home to take care of parents
Female littracy rate is increasing amd they are more aware so how can it's possible that reason is due to societal..i know there is still problem in rural area but society conservative thinking is decreasing not increasing..
@@AnimeFun-q2f yes i agree but women still have challange to juggle as caregiver for child and elderly and work when their counterparts /husband haven't change or empowered that they are. Yes change is happening but very slow by the way i am from nepal and the situation is similar but the this fight against mentality not men
@@sharmilaacharya2224 i know..i am also live in rural area from rajasthan.. but nowdays parents are doing focus on girls education and job..i hope it will change completely in some years
@@AnimeFun-q2f first step is education, all stages of women as well as men have their own challenges by the society norms.hope we will see a better future and for this we should be against mentality.
Could you please make a video about why more and more women are staying at home rather than joining the work force?? Your content is so informative and objective, we stan
Everyone's takeaway from this was the fact that ur married, haha. On a serious note, while everyone's busy talking on trending topics, i am glad you came up with something new. It's very easy access for anyone to know about trending topics, I would appreciate a youtube channel that rather speaks on things that usually no one would've thought about. We were of the fact that India has a collective family oriented structure, but we didnt know that it's only increasing, contrary to our expectations.
There is another strand of research which noticed that joint families after taking a dip have returned to the fore because of: 1. High cost of urban living 2. If both parents are working, grandparents are deemed to be best suited to take care of the small kids.
Please do not use gender-neutral terms as it is only a son's family, a son's parents. Who cares if parents gave birth to only a girl child. This is the harsh truth about our narrow-minded society. A son's parent's body starts to burn inside out if they see their DILs family is living with them. lol. I hope this trend reverses. I hope this is not a true statistic he is talking about. Fingers crossed.
I have some thoughts: 1. Nope. Even if the individual would like to live separately, some parents would just emotionally force them to stay with them. It is because here in India, they like to view us as their property. I'm not saying all parents are like that, but it happens more than you'd like to believe. 2. Jobless growth in economy? Damn, that's the first time I thought about it, and I think our family businesses need to step up their game and enter into the big industry leagues. 3. Women empowerment and their quality higher education can singlehandedly lead to big strides in the nation's future. -- =>> How? More of these women would want to have better husbands, leading to a change in the attitude of men. Also, they would want to work as well, which means, a higher purchasing power for the family, and that also means they can afford a better education for their children. Mother plays a major role in the upbringing of children, so they would be brought up with better morals and more modern beliefs. They will set the standards higher for the betterment of society, and that is key to more people having ideas for giant industries and a healthier economy. Knowledge is power.
No one have guts to talk about that because it's all about men in India. In foreign countries both men and women leave home after 18 age and take care of parents as well but look how women have become second class citizen in India!
hi I'm 23 and i live in village of gujarat, where domestic violence is acceptable by everyone. but now things are changing because many daughters of our village are now working so they don't accept the behaviour of their parents. society is still morally corrupt but i can see little changes. 🙂
I am from West Bengal , I have seen my grandmother took all the decisions in our family being a house wife and its not an exception . Its quite normal here that women took most of the decisions in the falimy.
West Bengal does not have the same level of conservatism like other Northern states, because the history is very diverse here, especially politically. Communism and the avoidance of publicizing rituals was a huge factor.
That's because she is your grandmother, mother of the head of the family. Women in our family only have the say when they have an earning son, and in that case, she rules over other women, like his wife and others.
@@Anki8801 but mam shaadi ke baad toh ladki ladke ke ghar aati hai.....its responsibility of boy toh provide girl....not to ask house from girls parents
@@pk417 Traditions need to be changed. This is one of the big reasons India leads in female infanticide. Guys have to forgo their ego and agree to live with Girl or her parents if needed. There should be no shame in asking for financial help from a girl or her parents. Gender Equality is all about this.
I guess it depends on what you missed out growing up. If u grew up seeing many problems in ur family u would want to live alone depending on how complicated and troublesome they were. If u grew up with hardly any family interactions you would want to live with a huge family. I belong to the former. To each their own.
''He never asked my to bring me in this world. It was my own decision. I educated him, cared for him because it was my responsibility. I don't own him anything nor does he own me anything.'' I remember my grandfather saying this to my father when I was a kid. I remember these words.
In india many old people are extremist and hell bent on creating a world that works on their ideals . Although not every old people ae like this I still don't want to risk the probability.
I think life will be more peaceful in join family setting if living with woman's parents rather than the man's. Men usually are not involved in household matters and since the burden usually fall on the woman, if the older and younger women are on same page, life is much more peaceful in the household overall.. ideally parents who need to live with children should live with daughters not sons..
Sometimes parents just don't wish to let go their children. The young couple has to adjust accordingly and to leave great job opportunities bcoz mummy royengi papa nahi manenge. Bhale vo khud apne parents se dur rahe ho. Selfish generation of parents
Then one can't prosper...I guess that's why Western countries n NRIs r very well off compared to us . Thank God..not every family is the same . We r nuclear family with brilliant women.
So true. My own mother in law is like 'I will never let my son settle abroad, if you have to go, go after I die'- which is impossible because we will be close to retirement age by then. It's not a problem cuz both me and my husband are government employees, but if we had aspirations to go abroad, it would have been a major issue.
One thing that I have personally observed is that the in laws expect them to do literally everything. They act like letting her having a career is a "favour". I have literally seen a case where one relative after doing 12 hour shifts had to come home an do everything- cooking, laundry, dish washing, taking care of the child while the husband literally does nothing. And god forbid If she has a child, the in laws pressurize her to give up her career to raise a child.
I too am growing up in a family where I live with my maternal grandparents and not my paternal grandparents and yes I am very proud of it. According to me it's the duty of the child irrespective of their gender to look after their parents after they attain a certain age and live with them if possible. This has great advantages. Both my parents are working so there have been many such instances where they both had gone out of station for their work and didn't have to worry about our whereabouts much since we were living with our grandparents.
I definitely agree wit you there bro. A child should look after their parent during their weak years. They sacrifice a lot for us. The least, the absolute least we can do is be there for them.
Yes. As a daughter of doctor parents I can relate to this. Infact ours was a joint family of 8. My grandmother would take care of me when parents would be out for work or when traveling for academic conferences. Also in grandmother's sickness both my parents could take care of her.
The shocking thing for me was that there was fall 2 crores woman who are not working . Strange to be honest . And yes family business ki vagh se log sath h . And yes still many couples depend on their parents for finances , i have many examples in my relatives and friends .
I really love how he mixes the nuances of Indian culture and hierarchy with religions and social strata, jobs and employment, healthcare and econometrics; through very well-put research. Very few people understand the very concept of India after all
India is very diverse from every point be it historical, geographical, political, social or economical aspect...... That is why 'paradox' has become more of a salient feature of India that is why deep knowledge is required in case of India.
i think living with parents is a good thing, it reduces stress as you have someone to talk to when you come back from the office or that when you come back after a long day of work you have someone to help you with the house chores, whether you live with the wife's parents or the husband's parents, it doesnt matter. But yes, this does not apply to some toxic parents/children, who do not care about anyone but themselves, and do not help others, or have a habit of commenting or controlling every single thing. But where i am from , except 2-3 cases, i have seen that the relationship between parents and children is very strong both with the son and daughter, and they both take equal responsibility of their parents, and like staying with them, even if they live abroad. Unlike in the movies, not every parent- child or mother in law- daughter in law relationship is toxic, for what ive seen around me, they are both very supportive of each other, and the bond is strong.
Fascinating video, I was one of the few early subscribers who thought this was a channel primarily dedicated to news analysis and politics, but honestly it is so much more?? Thanks for making such cool and original content, keep up the good work!
Pipal tree seeds can't grow under the it because of shadow of it. That's why parents should allow their children to go out and have thier own personal life.
I don't think increase in women taking charge has decrease in fertility rate has led to decrease in fertility rate. One of the more justifiable reason can be the cost of raising per child.
I find it strange that most Indian RU-vidrs seem to be upper class people who have studied abroad examples: dhruv, mohak, harshvardhan aur subah saraf.
At least all of us (from any class) can write comments. :-) In English, in Hindi, using 'abc' or 'devngri'..... Most viewers will be able to read it. (BTW someone who writes in good english is not necessarily upper class. There are individuals who - instead of watching tv or loitering in the streets - teach themselves english, and practise till they master it well.) ;-)
@@anitas.4471 dear anita, I'm not referring to English proficiency here. In India even a lower middle class child may be proficient in English but a lower/middle class child will be rarely be able to study abroad. These RU-vidrs are very privileged. I've seen their Instagram accounts. I'm not against them. I enjoy their work. But they have privilege that's why they are here.
By the way I'm from a lower middle class background. I read a lot growing up. My parents are educated but being educated doesn't guarantee a good life in India.
Well people who haven't studied abroad and haven't been exposed to their culture is generally not going to consider RU-vid as a viable career in the first place due to this country being more rigid on jobs and employment.
I want to live and leave my family. Live bcz i love them and they also love me. They support me in my carrier and huge decision but.......Leave bcz my parents really want me to live according to their mind set, which is so tiring mentally.
