I agree. Every child comes with their own agenda and personality. Some onlies feel like "one" and some feel like "three" or "five". My daughter as a youngster felt like 3 to 5 kids more often than not.
I am so glad you made this video! I can so relate. I have a nine year old girl who loves to talk. I completely understand the mental drain by the end of the day. But I also keep reminding myself of what an important job I have and how it won't last forever. Then she'll be grown and I will miss all these conversations!
We are homeschooling an only child. We do co-op, church and their activities, play dates. He is very sociable but I always have people tell me my son will be socially awkward. I just laugh because they don't know my son. He talks to anyone and everyone. Sometimes it is lonely homeschooling an only child. He would love a brother or sister but that's not possible.
I loved this video. Doing a video series on an only child would be good. Very encouraging and to know others are going through the same thing. Sometimes we think we are the only ones going through the challenges of an only child. Nice to find other moms with an only child. Thank you!
@@TheWaldockWay how to do play dates or meet other kids their age. Creative ways to teach an only child when the curriculum calls for the activity to be done in a group. Usually we end up skipping the activity if we need a group. My son is involved in a co-op but it's hard to make friends at a park since most likely he will not see the kid again. My son always wants me to play with him, which I don't mind but I also still need to clean and lesson plan. He does not like playing by himself. Sometimes he will but he is also 5. Maybe a video on how to get what we mom's need to do like cooking, cleaning, and school planning with an only when the child wants us to play. Usually I have to let him use the kindle so I can get things done, which is not a good solution. Maybe tips on how to help with that. Board games are frustrating when it requires 3+ players and Daddy is at work. How do we handle that? I was thinking of different topics you could do for videos. It's hard. Maybe do a poll and ask other moms what kind of videos they would like to see for only child. I definitely need help in this area. I get the statement all the time "but you only have one so it's much easier." I want to scream "but I would love to have more kids but cannot. But hey, one child is just fine too. There's nothing wrong with just having one." Maybe a video on what to say to people when they say hurtful comments. I know they don't mean it in a ugly way but it still hurts. Or they ask "don't you want more kids?" Anyways, I will get off my soap box. Love your videos.
I'm homeschooling my son and working two part time jobs. Things are so expensive now, I'm trying to train us to live within our means so I can quit the second one. This is very hard. He's extremely social.
I feel SO SEEN just from the first point you made. This is exactly what I've tried to put into words forever now. I am mentally wiped by the time my son goes to bed, because I am his teacher, parent, sibling, only person to talk to! And yet I wonder "why am I so tired?" Thank you!
TFS! I totally agree with everything you mentioned. I am homeschooling our only child (daughter 9), and yes it’s different, but also rewarding. We’re best friends her and I lol! 😀
What a great video debunking myths and offering a different perspective. I'm a mom of multiples. Thank you for addressing "socialization". Ugh...that weak argument racks my nerves so bad. Definitely know your child/children and meet their needs.
I have one that I homeschool because I have a 7.5 year gap between my oldest and my second. We are pregnant with my third. I love that I found a channel that is only homeschooling one child. Made me feel a little better lol
I have 2 adult children and grandkids. This coming year I’m going to homeschool my youngest daughter who will be in 6th grade. So she’ll be an only child. Since I started doing my homeschooling research I’ve seen only multiple kids and I was worried about my daughter being all alone with me. Thank you for sharing these myths with me.
Yeah! I'm homeschooling two right now but my older son is returning to school next year. I know it will be harder to only have one home! He really is thriving though so I'm committed. It is intimidating to think me and him all day ha! But the years are flying and I treasure the time with him.
Thank you for posting and sharing. I have been searching for other moms that Hs only child’s and special needs too. I confess I do worry, but I read HS books to help, listen to podcasts etc. So when I listen to this, it helps so much to moms like me. Thank you
I too think homeschooling has challenges for all! Although I have two kids, one has special needs...so I am also mentally and physical exhausted. Always “on” all day is a great way to put it! And it’s very hard to find other homeschoolers with kids with disabilities. I have a great crew of mamas, but our days look very different, and it can feel lonely not being able to relate. All in all, regardless of number of kids or other complications, we homeschool families are hard core awesome 😂😃💖
I also have a special need son . Although high functioning others who do t have this issue don’t understand or they imply that he should e in school since there a “ more resources for them” However I think that between our family discussions, therapies, or outside church groups and all of the one on one that my husband and I do with him together actually is more beneficial for him than being in a classroom.
I agree, we had my son in special education preschool bc everyone said he needed it...then the preschool ended and he was thrown into mainstream. AWFUL. He couldn’t take it, his teachers couldn’t handle his struggles, and when the shutdown happened, I was so grateful! Lol now I know he’s not meant for typical school, and we can be flexible for him all day. No one knows our kids like we mamas and papas do! 💖 I’m glad homeschool is working for you too!
One homeschool myth I always get asked about because I am doing PK 4 now but loosely LOL, and I will be homeschooling K starting in July is "all homeschool kids have special needs and/or behavior problems. Most people only homeschool when public school will not take their children." 1) This hurts my feelings, because my child does have some special needs which are none of these people's business, and 2) Any school would be blessed to have my child in their school. I have a child with ASD and so his skills are very scattered -- he can read and comprehend like a 7 year old, but is not potty trained. Therefore, for his little brain, I am going to homeschool --- my local schools are small and could not accomodate all his strengths and weaknesses like we can at home. I love him and have enjoyed teaching him so much! It is my pleasure and honor to be his Mom.
Yes! Her dad and I are introverts and she's an extrovert who is 10x more social than her dad and I put together. Exhausting! We are in the middle of puberty and she's decided I'm her nemesis now. It is challenging to say the least and makes me wish I'd had a half dozen. Being a referee sounds easier to me. LOL
Emily is an extrovert while we are introverts as well it is definitely a give and take on outings. We luckily haven't hit the nemesis stage, not looking forward to that.
We are homeschooling an only child who is very social. It has pluses and minuses. The pandemic has been hard, especially since my daughter has not loved online classes at all. I'm curious what her story of this experience will be when she is older.
Thank you soo much for this video, I live in Moorreesburg, South Africa, and just stumbled upon this video, I just started homeschooling my son he is my only child and everything you spoke about here was on my mind since starting , mostly the loneliness of homeschooling a only , for him and myself its a journey well be looking at in a very different light since this video, thank you so much!!!
Thank you Jessica to talk about this and I can relate to it. All this support and understanding make me feel warm. My kid was homeschooling before entering Kindergarten and we decided to have only one child. My life is not easy at all compare to my friend who has three. It's just different as you mentioned. People just have different lifestyles.
I agree. I have a unique situation. My youngest is 13 years younger than her closest sibling. So her closest sibling is 21 years old and she is 7, almost 8. So she is basically an only child because her siblings take on more of a aunt or uncle roll. It’s been really challenging. She is very dependent on me being present and “helping” her with everything. I can’t imaging her in a traditional school setting but maybe she would adapt if that was all she knew. We haven’t found the right fit for socialization but I think it’s because I’m an introvert who doesn’t need it. I try to push myself into outing when they come up. We just dropped 4H because I was pushing for us to go and she only liked a small portion of the meetings. We are in a wild and free group but they have not had too many meetings this year and I think the groups about to fall apart. She goes to gymnastics and loves that. She also has some sensory issues and loud places with lots of people bother her but she is very social in small groups so I need to find groups like that.
You just described Me and Emily to a tee! We are doing a small girl scout group and a private gymnastics class (with a few other kids) right now that's the right fit for us.
My story also except older siblings are 16 and 17 years older. There are so many challenges I didn't anticipate but it is still a beautiful life to pour into this precious child. even being introverted mom parenting an extroverted sensory issue little. We need groups but they wear me out. :) As you know, it WILL be over all too quickly. Good Luck!
I appreciate this so much! Definitely a minority. I have a special needs child and the understanding helps so much! I'm trying to get over the judgement. Though now-a-days it seems most people do applaud me for doing charter school! But I'd like to do total homeschool since the charter schools are not different enough from public. I get tired of people comparing having several children to one child as-if it's easy. Yet all of the people whom have made me feel less-than have been the reason I have chosen to not have more kids. The expect their children to raise one another and they take a back seat to have "me" time etc. I don't think it's healthy to do it that way. For the examples I have seen it's proven when their kids harm one another and are not well-behaved overall. I know this is not every case...just what I have personally seen. I've had acquaintances that do better but usually it's two kids, maybe three and they are definitely getting a lot of help from a family member or friends.
Thank you for posting this, I really have been hoping to find other you tubers who only have 1 child they are homeschooling and it’s hard to find. I am not homeschooling currently, but I will be next year when my son is in first grade, I do have a daughter that is not homeschooling because she already graduated and was in public school. I actually am pretty lost because I am so new at this, and I really don’t know where to start or which curriculum to use. I follow a lot of homeschool moms on RU-vid, but there is just so much information that I don’t know where to begin.
I have two kids but they are 5 years apart so my son already had 5 years of schooling before she was added to the mix. It’s definitely different and it’s different adding my daughter to the mix. I know I don’t have just one but the thing we hear the most is socializing. I have to constantly tell people my kids are fine. They both do sports, co op, church and then Awana at church, we do tons of field trips with our co op and our friends from church, they play outside with neighbors, we go places during the week just like u said. My kids are not deprived from social interactions. I do think it can get lonely even with two kids but I just reconfirm my why. Why did I decide to homeschool? Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting some time a way from my kids (meaning going to the store alone or getting a pedicure while dad is home) just to regroup and refocus. That seems to always help me. It’s that little bit of self care that all of us mommas need from time to time.
Thank you for your video, and being a representative of our "triangle family" as a home schooling mama of one fantastic kiddo! My daughter, who is 10 and I ( who is much older than 10 😉) love watching you and Emily on a regular basis. My daughter is both ADHD and autistic and she has kept me on my toes since she decided to come a month early! Different is the best way to explain it when comparing an only vs. many. Not easier or harder. As I am prone to do I did quite a bit of research when it came to schooling for my daughter ( after trying public and a charter school ) and learned that many neurodiverse kids cope better with anxiety when they are not constantly trying to juggle both academics and social skills. Often the overwhelm that this causes leads to burn out, melt downs, and aggression. Is she social? Yes, very friendly and chatty with any child or adult who she meets. But I've seen her social skills grow as she can focus on academics separately from social time. Are there some days when I am exhausted from being her person all the time? Without a doubt! But I wouldn't trade this experience for anything! I'm so glad we can go on this journey together 👩👦❤
I respect everything Jessica had to say, but I do think socialization is more of a concern for us. Like Jessica, my concern is NOT about my daughter developing social skills; she’s an ace at that. But I do have to be intentional about adding social activities to her schedule since talking to me all day and no siblings doesn’t meet her needs. I grew up in a house with 4 siblings and it’s not something my parents had to be so intentional about. I agree there are lots of options. We do Church, Tae Kwon Do, Gymnastics, Art Classes, and Wild + Free plus we play with neighborhood kids, but even so, I still feel like my daughter craves more additional social interaction that a sibling could help mitigate. 🤷♀️
Oh my goodness! Myth #1 is SPOT ON! I had an only child in her first and second grade year. I was on ALL. THE. TIME.! Then I had a second child and babies added in the mix is just a different kind of hard. 👍🏻
Myth 2. I'm homeschooling my youngest child. Sibling is much older and in traditional high school & the program is great and fits them. Some struggle with the idea that what works for one kid doesn't work for the other and that we can make different choices for different kids. This is the first time I've seen homeschool content based on 1 kid.
What are your thoughts about homeschooling a very introverted and gifted child. I’m really struggling to determine if traditional school or homeschool is his best option moving forward. He’s 7 and in 1st grade at our local school which is a truly top notch school district. He’s recently started to ask to homeschool a lot and part of it is he’s very introverted and struggles to make friends because playing with a group is overwhelming, he’s also off the charts in math (some of the concepts he’s interested in and has a basic understanding of are 7th and 8th grade standards according to his teacher). His teacher has been fantastic (and he adores her) and she has set him up on Khan Academy doing more advanced math on some of the days when the rest are completing their online math as well. But then it’s a big question of will I be able to get him working at home (and we’re going to test drive it a bit this summer) and will he learn how to interact or will he push to isolate himself. I know that I would have loved to have been able to do school at home in my later years as I was very shy (like him). I now know too that I have BP2 and anxiety and maybe (likely) undiagnosed ADHD and I question if I’ll be able to do it all. Apparently I also needed to ramble.
I want to encourage you to give homeschooling a chance. Read "Dumbing Us Down" by John Taylor Gatto. He worked as a school teacher for 30 years and received Teach of the Year award twice. He was against the public school system and revealed a lot of unknowns about the public school system. Like how they intentionally hold us back. Aside from that, no teacher or school can accommodate to his exact needs like you can. Parents know their children best. We love our children more than anyone else. Also, remember you are his first teacher. You began teaching him at birth. You are more than equipped to educate him! I suggest deschooling for a period of time before starting formally homeschooling though. Best of luck to you.
