Most MEN BLOW the FIRST DATE: why you are your own worst enemy 

Annoying

It fits with my experience with the people who are the least mature

So keeping a woman's fantasies intact? No offense but if you succeed in getting the girl this way it seems like a way to leads to a disastrous divorce.

I've found women across the board respond positively to story telling of interesting events you have experienced

That's called a "blessing in disguise".

Thank you!

HAHAHAHA!!! That's Peter Faulks, Detective Columbo w/an assumptive close. It's a really good technique.

Thank you for sharing this. Very useful in the stage I'm in.

@bobdavis7290 It's a great technique. I call it the push and pull method, when yall are together It's her job to do most of the talking. As a man your like a puzzle to her, let her have fun trying to solve you and dig into the details of your life as time go by. Completely revealing your hands in the first couple of interactions, means she's solved the puzzle, so the attraction fades. Men don't enjoy playing those games, which is why they're quick to reveal everything about themselves. Be a puzzle she actually has to put the effort in trying to solve, that's what keeps her mind stimulated. Anything outside of this is going to fill her with boredom💯

This won't work for a technical interview or a job that requires multiple rounds of interviews with different hiring managers

hmm, as the man you should be steering and leading the conversation. Who does more of the talking is a moot point. Are you getting her feelings engaged? is the key question

A man needs to impress us because they are the one not getting dates. We are the prize. 😼

I make sure the convo is 50/50 and all my dates end in the sheets

@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 ok.🤣

@@23pushingphow you go about this

but better to not give a phq. anyways.

I never had to try for any of my LTRs. We just clicked before there was even a date. No ridiculous audition for either of us. We bonded quickly. My last LTR is my wife of 40+ years. Dating today seems like a painful grind. Glad I'm old.

No, but you can quite easily make her unattracted by talking too much

This is not about getting their attention but keeping it.

Bingo.

Results?

And it would be really great if women or maybe men too stop ghosting, and leave someone hanging after they thought they had a great date. You can always reply “sorry, not interested” and block the person after you send it, if you so afraid or uncomfortable to have to talk to them again

That's so considerate.

Yes, actually most people mess up first rounds. Second rounds surprise often...I think there was a dating expert on a podcast channel, where they mentioned that too. Simply giving a second date lead to a way better result, don't be too quick to dismiss.

You sound half decent as a person you know!

Being stupid sounds like no fun at all.

It's a totally doable process. Experience and intelligence make it pretty easy to balance and nuance many facets of personality.

And of course, don't marry. At most, let her propose to you, if she is a good catch.

lmfao. The "courtship dance" is putting up with the bimbo's narcissism. That's it. Period.

It can be summarized as being a balanced individual and not letting one thing consume your whole life. You make it sound like it's irrational and difficult to achieve, but it actually isn't. But I sense a lot of anger and resentment in your message, my advice is you should probably work on that before trying anything with women. There's nothing more unattractive to good women than misogynistic or resentful men.

Yip, you got it. It's about how you make a woman feel!

​@@jamescollins408because we know thinking isn't their forte 😂😂😂

that's right and also huMAN frequently emphasized upon the issue of gents having, and adhering to, relevant standards in view of xx.s to vet, not unlike those for friendships, too.

Thank you.

That’s the manner in which I operate. Everything else hogwash.

No dating doesn't put u in adorer . .

@@profet1385 I didn’t say dating itself makes a man the adorer. It’s the act of taking a woman out on a date itself, that places a man in the adorer position. For me it’s always just clicked, I see her, she sees me, she shows interest, I pull up and talk to her and it’s just great times from there. No planning, no time wasted, just pure attraction.💯

This is actually terrible advice. Nearly every woman I spoke to are turned off by low effort, even if the guy is a Chad.

@@RH-td7vc Where did I say put no effort? You obviously still have to spit game and mentally stimulate a woman. I’m talking about going on dates or making big expenses right off the bat. That’s a recipe for failure.

@@RH-td7vc "Spoke to". Look at what they do, not what they say.

Add a 0

Tricky thing is you actually have to listen and give her little sprinkles here and there of signs you're listening, and contribute a little. You can't just act like you're listening to some ASMR or the radio to sleep. Like background music.

Too bad I don’t talk. Just observe. & yes. I’m the woman. They don’t know what to do when I’m quiet.

@@gailainsley6939 they should stand up and leave because it’s clear they ain’t getting a second date

@@gailainsley6939 Sounds like the deal of the century. Men always complain about women talking too much.

@@andrasbiro3007 Exactly. 😂😂

how do you answer when they ask you whats your job on the first date?

So in technicality, men want women to be delusional for their own benefit? If women were to see any man for what he truly is, will they all leave? Also do you think this concept works if you're trying to have longevity? How do you think the dynamic of that relationship will be once she realizes that you are not what she thought you were? If anything this just goes to show that you're not confident in yourself to the point that you want her to believe things about you that are not true. You're still lying if you are concealing information. It's a lie of omission. It's ok to vet, but a whole another thing to trail someone along into believing falsehoods. If you do this to a good person, the emotional damage from it is very dangerous. As much as you might think it's "hot" to seem mysterious, you're responsible for your own self image. Of course people can have their misunderstandings but if you're not correcting them, then you're the one fostering misconceptions. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if a woman did that back to you.

@@MrAlb3rtazzo "Great question! That'll give us something exciting to talk about on our next date." See how I build excitement AND throw in the assumptive close there?

@twilight1181 You ever had a job interview?

@@-glitch-8195 We don't want them to be delusional. It's just how they are. So you have to learn to understand it and play along. You won't get to longevity if she kicks you to the curb after one date. And most girls WILL do that for the most trivial of reasons, because they have endless options today. It's not a lie of omission because I specifically tell them I'm not answering that question. I don't force them to make stuff up in their heads. And seriously, the hypocrisy! Do you think women tell me that the reason they're asking is because they're trying to get me to reveal how much wealth, status, and income I have? Only a fool would believe there's any other reason a woman asks about your job in the first few minutes of knowing a man. Now THAT is a lie of omission. So sure, I should be correcting them, as you say. Because we all know there's nothing in this world a modern woman loves more than when a man corrects her. LOL

Not one person is perfect simple

Thanks for the support! It helps me keep going.

You said it. It's exactly why I ran an experiment on approaching girls, though before that I hardly did it at all (the general introvert outlook).This took some 3-4 years and I got like 100 cases altogether, which ended about a year ago. The idea was that if I had an idea or curiosity that came into my head, I was to take it to the nearest random woman and see what she thought. Success was determined by if she apparently was pleased I interrupted her, and even a neutral response counted as failure. What was my final score? 100%. Now all I did was present what I said, and I didn't lavish anything like with romance or wanting a date, and it's rather amazing to me how well it works. I've talked to women like that all through my life, and I did the experiment to prove I could talk to ALL women any time I pleased, because I had discovered that when I thought of a girl in a romantic way, I couldn't ever talk to her. Romance, apparently, needed to wait till it was EARNED later. The excellent thing about the non-romantic approach is it gives her nothing to reject, and yet the guy gets some time getting her used to him. Hard to believe the extroverts go with the laying it on thick approach, and are willing to put up with so much failure. I currently trying to develop a theory, and let's see if you can help me with it, hmm? Are you an introvert, and if not, are you well acquainted with introvert girl thinking? I think it's really common for at least the introverted girls, to never talk to a guy unless he talks to her first. I take this to mean that she doesn't think he would welcome her to talk to him, unless he makes the first approach, right? If that is so, and the guy merely asks her a question like I did (not even introduce myself), but doesn't ask her for a date, etc, has he passed that first phase she desires, by the guy FIRST talking to her, sort of singling her out? If so, then she will have no problem talking to him first in the future, right? And this would especially be the case if she knew no other men that approached her that way (a friendship angle) and she knew only guys that approached via the common dating advice angle we see (complete with phony compliments, fake romance, asking for a date and/or phone number, etc). What do you think of all of that? I'm trying to devise what I should've done when I was younger, but didn't have a clue about.

how would they talk her out of it

well... sometimes it did dawn on me in past encounters that I'd possibly come to 'blow' things via certain nxt move - but I gave it a phq. xx.s can't | won't ever again help it not to come out as chunks of redflag, actually. and the probability of relative mis-fit is at 98.5%+ I guess. beyond, in looking at how rare a man I am (searching delution calculator-wise...) I'm defo not into selling myself short to ignoramuses (better sad | safe than sorry)... may xx.s be lead by their tingles straight into wolves' fangs. alright.

​@@JJ-vp3bd By talking. Didn't you watch the video?

about what exactly @@lonestarr1490

I've found that the women who end up being an actually decent lay are not the ones so easily talked out of sleeping with them.

One thing about yourself per date?! Either you plan on going on a lot of dates with a woman, or there's really not much going on with you. Hell, if I revealed just one thing per date the woman in question could easily suspect me to be a Russian spy at the day of our marriage still.

As if women don't treat men like sh*t?

This is utterly stupid... If you want to lose interest immediately in her by knowing how many dates she's been on with multiple men then follow this logic. Otherwise never talk about other men with women, or ex's. Leave that shit alone. There are a million better things to talk about.

Sounds very white-knighty or friendzoney tactics...

Yuck. Terrible advice. Introduces negativity and makes her wonder why the women treated you so bad. Stop.

​@@GUITARTIME2024The answer as a man is to say that you are picky. The only wierd experience you can think off the tip of your head was when that one fling started squirting 😅

They don't dance. They can't dance. They're do self-involved and aimless to dance. Once you realize what they are, you cannot enjoy them or their company. A selfish, rotten creature is disgusting and a waste of energy and time.

@@eladbari There’s no analogy, it’s just a figure of speech to say, sit back and let them put on a show for you. Instead of you trying to please them.

And, in my case it tends to come off as desperation on their part. It's amusing, occasionally annoying...end of the day, no sale.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Jesus Christ loves you so much that He died for your sins and rose from the dead. If you repent from evil ways, believe that Jesus has paid the fine for your sins on the cross and confess Him as your Lord, you will be saved. You see, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, that's why Jesus Christ, fullness of Godhead bodily, lived a perfect life, fulfilled the prophecies and law, shed His Blood at the cross just so you could be forgiven, reconciled back to the Father, receive God's love, be made a new creation, whole, sanctified. It's not about religion and what good works you can do to earn salvation, it's only by grace through faith in the finished works of Jesus Christ. Read God's Word, preferably start with Gospel of John, pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you, give you wisdom and revelation that way you're born again and see your life changed by the Spirit of the Most High. Much love and God bless you!

Well, I don't know about you, but I certainly cannot convey a complete picture of myself on a single date. The woman in question would have to be willing to learn _a lot._ And why would she want to do that? To hook her is tremendously important. And in order to do that, you have to remain a riddle for the time being - as alluring as possible. That's what the video is about: it's not about delusion, but about creating the baseline interest you need for anything to develop.

​@@lonestarr1490perfectly said.

And modest too...

@@siheath3648 🤣

@@siheath3648 Dont HATE him because he is beautiful!

Still having sex with your ex..

Ok

Definitely yes. You can sense it in an instance if she is attracted to you or not. I saw both ways, (usually not attracted, due to my height). I never ever bragged or something, talked too much or whatever. But I can say that if she was attracted to me, I could say even mysoginistic stuff and it wasnt a big deal. I think that things are way more simple, and this is called attraction (the first one must be physical).

Wife material chicks WILL compromise on attraction for the sake of more stable traits. The video is spot on tbh. Trying to flex that ur a high value man makes u arrogant, and harms your mystery. If you stop talking about yourself for a moment, and be genuinely curious about her, she'll gladly talk about herself. Who doesn't like talking about themselves? Helps you find out about what she likes before you show your cards too.

@@exyl_sounds no such thing exists, in America.

@@seventhkeyomegasghost8233 They absolutely exist, but when they get snapped up from the dating pool, they don't hop around relationships like the ones for the streets. So they probably get taken quite young, and they get taken forever.

Facts

Good luck to you, Steven,. same situation here. Not running into suitable women just about anywhere in real life. So-called "dating" sites not yielding any dates after almost two years of looking. Orion's advice here is totally solid - but means nothing if you aren't even finding a woman for a date. The women online are burned out from too many "like every picture" men blasting them. They zone out and never read your messages. If you try the sites, look hard for NEW women on there who you can usually tell by the naive statements they post like "well, thought I'd give this a try". You can tell the really burned out ones as they eventually change their posts to incredibly angry, judgemental, demanding vents of their frustration (like any guy is going to respond to that!). Hope the women in Texas are more positive for you.

Congratulations (honestly). Now to answer your (implicit) question: yes, it is a wonder it worked out for you that way. That is very far from the usual course of events. Therefore, no man should attempt to follow suit, for the odds will be far from in his favor.

Absofreakinglutely

Well if she just sits there like a taxidermied raccoon what the Hell am I going top flirt to her about? 100% of the times I don't flirt are simply because she doesn't give off any flirty vibe, either, and when i flirt, it's when I got signals from her.

Sounds like you are more attracted to the dog than her lol

to ask her a lot of questions

Can you give specific examples of trying to be a bad boy without being one?

​@@Tudi500 providing love but without attachment, it is a solid good one for starter, probably the best one tbh

@@btchiaintkidding7837 little to no experience here. Can you give specific example to not show attachment?

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Jesus Christ loves you so much that He died for your sins and rose from the dead. If you repent from evil ways, believe that Jesus has paid the fine for your sins on the cross and confess Him as your Lord, you will be saved. You see, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, that's why Jesus Christ, fullness of Godhead bodily, lived a perfect life, fulfilled the prophecies and law, shed His Blood at the cross just so you could be forgiven, reconciled back to the Father, receive God's love, be made a new creation, whole, sanctified. It's not about religion and what good works you can do to earn salvation, it's only by grace through faith in the finished works of Jesus Christ. Read God's Word, preferably start with Gospel of John, pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you, give you wisdom and revelation that way you're born again and see your life changed by the Spirit of the Most High. Much love and God bless you!

Imagine not living ur life with sincerity. Instead living it based on scripts. 😂

Do you have male friends you hang out with? Because those are the people you should talk endlessly about your interests. it sounds like you turned her into a best-buddy on the first date, because you had no other outlet for it. Painful lesson, but like the smartman said: allow her do 80% of the talking, you offer short concise opinions or affirmations then follow up questions. You want to interview her for the position of: being your girl.

You'll learn. Look at dating as a scientific experiment in learning human behavior (responses positive, negative, and neutral) and don't take it personally. You're gonna do fine.

Never go to dinner on first date and learn to LISTEN.

Talking endlessly on and on about your stuff and she never got to say a thing. Typical. I hope she ordered lobster and Dom. And then sent you the bill for the therapy she had to get after you almost bored her to death.

@@annesmith9181 Wow, what an incredibly nasty and entitled comment.

I went on a date a few weeks ago. I took her to dinner and asked her for a second date. She told me the dinner was more attractive. Should I ask her for a second date, or should I spend some quality time with my mom and enjoy some warm milk and cookies?

Always Be Closing.

@@mickeyyymousee5679 if its not a hell yes, it's a hell no. However, how dufuk is a date being juxtaposed with time with mum? It should be more like, "should I hit an extra day in the gym or go on a date?" Also, if she is telling you what she wants, drop that ass like it's a hot potato. Your conversation should look a lot more like "hey, I'm doing this thing that I normally do in my life, do you want to join me?" I'm not saying take her to the laundromat but I am saying that she is deciding whether or not she wants to be a part of your life, she is not deciding what your life is going to be like.

The mystery man around facts means NO second date. The last man I met for coffee, was vague in answers, but we hit it off. He called me for a second date, and I suggested his place as hexwas asking to come to mine...( I had my suspicions).. And finally he admitted he was still married to a court Judge and was hot in love with her but she was worth a lot and he wasn't leaving her. So his mystery man wasted my time as I was not asking to be a mistress. So many men do this stuff, mystery is suspicious.

@joywebster2678 Thank you. Yeah that's a great example of why he should have just kept his mouth shut. You were ready to sleep with him until he did. Magic. You're proving my point. You gave him your time until you found out something you didn't like. That's exactly why I'm telling men not to give themselves away. Just STFU men. Everything you say will be used against you. Women care more about what you did than what you say, so why say anything at all?

annnnd ...

You are assuming she wanted to kiss you in the first place?

@@jenniferlee7167 of course! why not? she agreed to go on a date; that suggests some level of attraction, doesnt it?

@@inconnu4961 Of course it doesn't. Studies have shown that roughly a *_third_* of women have admitted to foodie calls -- i.e. going on a date just for a free meal, with zero interest in the man.

@@inconnu4961 if she really want to kiss him the man being an idiot for ruining her fantasy completely. This why you have to talk as less as possible with these women to escalate things farther in dating.

Ha! That is spot on.

He looked like a clown for doing that 💀 manipulation and looking presentable are two different things. Women do their and don't wear pajamas even when they go out with their female friends, it's their daily routine nothing to do males. Even lesbians wear makeup, do their hair, wear dresses, etc to look presentable. Both women and males care about their appearance, males even trim their monkey beard, get enlargement, have facial surgeries to impress women. The counter argument at the end was useless. Regardless of how quiet you stay, you true color will come out after 3-4 dates and women will still dump those males 🤷‍♂️

😂

You do understand there's a difference between how humans are expected to dress to go out vs. how they dress at home, don't you? It's never been proper to wear lounging-around clothes anywhere but at home. You would be weirded out if a woman showed up to a date like that. Just like a woman would be weirded out if you showed up like that.

@@lorrilewis2178 Your cute little word salad did nothing to debunk the original point. Women put on make up & dress up so they can present themselves in a certain way. They are doing it for others benefit and they benefit by people thinking well of them. The fact that women LOVE to say "i dont do it for you/men" shows she is trying to lie.

@@inconnu4961 You don't know what the meaning of "word salad" is. It means a lot of words that don't have any meaning. My words were straight to the point. Do you brush your hair before you go out? Do you bathe? Wear respectable clothes? If so, should I accuse you of doing it all for women? There have ALWAYS been standards of dress in every culture on this planet. What a weird thing to complain about. If you asked a woman on a date and she rolled up looking like she just got out of bed, you'd definitely complain about it . . . and you'd be right!

dont overinvest and dont be too outreaching. have fun.

How did it go? I had a date last week, it all went pretty well but then I found out we had different goals in life... And we just drifted off. That's how it is.

wow, what a reality-altering statement that is

+1

Lol - exactly the same thing happens to women, trust me.

And thats all before she drags you into “family court."

You have said it all right there. Good luck getting a date from anywhere in real life or any of the sites. Well, I imagine we could get SOME woman to accept a date, but not a woman we would want to!

😂

🤣😂

Dont tell your wife that. You remove competition anxiety.

@@GUITARTIME2024 That's true, and when we were younger we used to argue, and I'd imagine going off with someone else. However, these days, it does sound like a lot of effort for a quite ungrateful prize. It's not like we've now got this amazing relationship and I'm bragging about it, it's just that neither of us could be bothered looking. 😂

​@andrewbarratt8834 that is my definition of love. There is some mutual attraction, and you both think you can't do any better, true love

I’ve had exactly the opposite experiences where every women thinks I’m boring because I prefer to listen and ask questions rather than talk about myself I’m not a loud or talkative person and women seem to genuinely hate that

@@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 then share some interesting things about yourself, too. It’s not all or nothing.

Shaddup

And social media