MST3K Jonah's Kaiju Rap (Every Country has a Monster) 1080p 

When he said "rap," my gut clenched as I prepared for cringe... and it never came. This is by far one of my favorite host segments, right up there with any Torgo bit

This was the moment I was sold on this new show.

What's great about this (apart from everything): he did the whole song, with mad complicated rhymes, in one take, and they *could* have gotten another one where the monsters don't fall down, but the monsters falling down is so perfectly MST3K.

This was the exact moment I knew this season was everything I had hoped for. A little cheesy, a little goofy, and a lot of fun.

It's like watching your kid ride a bicycle for the first time --- you're nervous, cringing, and then, hot damn, they pull it off!!

I met Jonah at a convention in 2016 and I asked if there would be songs in the new Netflix show and he responded with a candid "You are not prepared"

It's taken about fifteen times watching this song to realise they say "Kinga" followed by "Moon 13", then followed suspiciously swiftly by a movie sign. I can just imagine her jamming out then going nuts at that line before smashing the button lol I love this show

If you weren't already impressed, consider that this is all done in one take with no cutaways, three puppets, and over 20 monster standees revealed in a very specific order. It must have been a nightmare to coordinate.

This is when the show won me over. They weren't just going to ride the rails of nostalgia, they were actually taking it into this decade and innovating it.

I took a big liking to Jonah after doing this monster rap because I found it incredibly catchy.

BECAUSE HE'S THE SIZE OF LUXEMBOURG!

This never gets old! The references to classic hip hop songs is the icing! “So Crow,” “Servo?” “Ready to go?” “Start slow…”

TOM: Jonah, I'm Confused. CROW: Yeah, what's your deal? Why don't you shave? JONAH: What? TOM: Yeah, yeah, that too. But I thought giant monsters came from Japan, not Denmark. JONAH: Well Asia clearly has the most monster credibility, but there's a beautifully diverse array of global monsters all over the planet. CROW: Huh. TOM: Explain! CROW: Preferably through rap! JONAH: All right, if you insist. JONAH: ♪Reptilicus is silly but he really illustrates/ the great array of monsters all over the place. Not just in Japan, but across the planet. An A-to-Z gamut; a gargantuan panopoly.♪ TOM: ♪Example please?♪ JONAH: ♪Name a land.♪ TOM: ♪Belize!♪ JONAH: ♪Oh geez easy peas-ey, mes amis.♪ JONAH: ♪See in the Yucatan you can meet El Cadejo. In Belize they believe in him they're not afraid to say so.♪ TOM: ♪Scotland?♪ JONAH: ♪Nessie's livin' up in a loch. ♪ TOM: ♪How about Poland?♪ JONAH: ♪A scary scarecrow named Bubak.♪ CROW: s'huh, so it's not just Godzilla? TOM: Well duh, Crow there's a lot that could kill ya. CROW: Hey! JONAH: Tom? TOM: Sorry Crow. CROW: Okay. TOM: Bros? CROW: Sho'. TOM: Yo Jonah how's the chorus go? JONAH: ♪Every country/ has a monster/ they're afraid of/ in their nation.♪ ALL: ♪Every monster/ has a country/ yeah a station they call their home.♪ CROW: Gunter glieber glauchen crow-ben TOM: ♪What turned the Musk Deer's guts to spaghetti?♪ JONAH: ♪Was it in Tibet?♪ TOM: ♪Yep.♪ JONAH: ♪I bet he met a yeti!♪ CROW: ♪Australia?♪ JONAH: ♪Their drop bears will impale ya.♪ TOM: ♪Then they'll sell you hella-touristy paraphernalia.♪ JONAH: ♪Chupacabra chewin' up cattle down in Mexico/ Déélgééd horns gorin' battlin' the Navajo/ Congo's kongamato is a mongo flyin' dino. I know I don't want to die but when I do he'll be the guy.♪ BOTS: ♪Whoa!♪ TOM: So Crow. CROW: Servo? TOM: Ready to go? CROW: Start slow. TOM: ♪Kropermann is a monster from Luxembourg.♪ CROW: ♪Who's actually the size of Luxembourg.♪ SERVO: ♪He crushed the whole country of Luxembourg.♪ ALL: ♪Because he's the size of Luxembourg!♪ JONAH: What! CROW: ♪Egypt's got mummies like Tutankhamen.♪ TOM: ♪Leprechaun on the lawn at Boston Common.♪ JONAH: ♪Bots got the hang of it! The song's really kickin'!♪ ALL: ♪Chickity-China at Chinese chicken!♪ JONAH: By that I mean Jiufeng and Peng. Giant Chinese birds. And one of them turns into a fish. Anyway... JONAH: ♪Gnus, killer shrews and the loup garou/ Baba Yaga, Jorōgumo and the impundulu/ Now you guys realize the surprising size Of all the worldwide dai-kaiju!♪ ALL: ♪Every country has a monster/ they’re afraid of/ in their nation. Every monster♪ GYPSY: Sasquatch! ALL: ♪Has a country♪ JONAH: That's Canada! ALL: ♪Yeah a station they call their home.♪ TOM: Tatzelwurm for the Swiss! ALL: ♪Every country♪ CROW: Scandinavia! ALL: ♪has a monster♪ JONAH: That's kraken! ALL: ♪they’re afraid of♪ TOM: Kinga! ALL: ♪in their nation.♪ ALL: Moon 13! ALL: ♪Every monster/ has a country/ yeah we've got movie sign.♪

I was so scared when Crow said rap but it ended up being awesome.

You can almost feel the hand of Joel blessing this scene from backstage. This upbeat type of atmosphere, having fun and still with a distinctly-intentional showmanship, was largely not present in the Mike seasons. I love Mike too, of course, but what I'm saying is that if someone asked me whether episode 1 was more like a Joel or Mike episode, it wouldn't be a hard question to answer. Season 11, so far, evokes the better seasons of the Joel era.

The first episode showed great promise and this skit was a real gem that harkened back to the glory days of mst3k. They've really added just enough new elements to make the show unique to this new era but it really feels like the mst3k of old at the same time. My only hangups so far are that the bots voices aren't very distinct... but I have no doubt they'll get better. That and the riffing itself, while very good, was WAY TOO RAPID FIRE. And then the second episode came... that was glorious, and improved on just about everything from the first. Oh god... why am I complaining? This is wonderful. It's just a show, I should really just relax.

Yes. So well done. THIS is how you do a reboot.

A great opening outing for the new MST3K.

When this was playing over the credits it got me dancing. I actually got in my cardio for the day because of this.

I like how they did this all in one take. I also like 2:35, when some of the monsters fall and Jonah looks off camera, probably hoping they don't have to start over.

Is it strange that MS3TK managed to make better use of the verse "Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken" in their parody song than the Barenaked Ladies did in the first place?

This is the first classic segment of the Jonah era of MST3K - it's so good to see the show back again. Also loving Baron and Hampton as Crow and Servo - the voices are spot on. ^_^ (And kudos to Paul and Storm for composing the song.)

weird to see crow with working arms. great song!

Whether it's Joel, Mike, or Jonah- this show has never jumped the shark. Every single episode is awesome!

The three people who disliked this video are monsters of the country of RU-vid.

The amount of rehearsal to do this in one shot is incredible

I like to imagine that Kinga loved the song, but immediately gave the movie sign when they called her a monster

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ON TELEVISION EVER!

Thank you Jonah for remembering that Bigfoot is a Canadian kaiju. Sasquatch is named after Saskatchewan, after all. Mike probably wouldn't know that since he seemed to think the Prime Minister could conduct business in some remote part of Alberta instead of Ottawa.

My boss literally just told me to look this up at work today. No regrets.

I love everything about this but especially when the monsters fall down and Jonah is trying to pick them up, and he looks at the camera but keeps singing and you can tell he's practically laughing but they just kept going. They're clearly having a blast with it and it makes it all the more fun to watch.

The best part is that it's accurate

I've only barely started watching the old episodes on Netflix, and "BAM!", here comes a completely new season to entertain with great riffing and enjoyable comedy segments. And based off of these comments, I've only scratched the surface of this classic series. When I first heard this song in the episode, I knew that I would be listening to it constantly afterwards. A fantastic beginning to a promising return.

I was so unsure about Jonah, until he dropped this. From that moment on he was part of the MST3K hostage family.

This song was more than enough to lay any doubts and worries about this new show to rest.

A small detail I loved: 1:18 - Tom ends his line with a Beck ("I'm a Loser, Baby") delivery.

2:33 Jonah: Oh crap. Director: Don't even worry about it. This is the take.

Love it! I've only seen the first two episodes, but they've been fantastic. This is one of many highlights. They amazingly managed to capture the feel of the original shows while adding just the right tweaks (like the skeleton band) to make it fresh.

Fact: When Crow asked for this to be sung in rap, you were dreading this. Fact: By the time it ended, you wanted more.

I love that the Killer Shrews made it into this.

I don't care what anyone says; I love the newer seasons. It's perfect for new MSTies in my opinion.

This is the BEST thing I've heard in a looooong time. Thank you all.

Everyone needs to try to say "Then they'll sell ya hella touristy paraphernalia" really fast and discover how difficult that phrase really is to say 😳

Cannot be upvoted enough! Welcome back people.

Oh my god this makes me so happy

“Yeah, we’ve got Moviesign” “OH, WE’VE GOT MOVIESIGN!” XD

every few months I find my way back here and I love it every single time

Another great thing about this that I don’t think anyone has mentioned is there is someone under the desk handing Jonah those standees. And Jonah is so slick about it. As soon as a monster is named, he’s got it in his hands. Good job, person under the desk.

One of the best of Jonah! The gang really showed their chops on this one. A great Episode of MST3K!

Dude I haven’t watched the show in years, I heard someone reference the show and this got stuck in my head immediately

Started dozing with this episode on. The song is permanently in my head now. Sent it to my son and he texted back... "Dork". Ha. I miss that kid

'Bet he met a yeti'. Awesome. This made me so happy. This show is the first thing to make me cheerful since about... November.

So, with the announcement of new MST3K episodes with this cast, I'm revisiting these two seasons and this right here is the moment I knew that this cast/crew were perfect inheritors of the Satellite of Love. This whole segment had the perfect blend of cheesyness with a love of obscure movies and the sillyness of the figures getting knocked over that feels perfectly MST3K. No one involved had any cynacism of bringing back MST3K, nor did they feel like they were above the material. Jonah is the perfect modern host, a blend of awkard, somewhat cringey humour along with earnest sincerity and love of this stuff, the new bot voices are in perfect rhythm with the host, but antoginizing them just enough to make you laugh, and the movie is perfectly terrible enough to enjoy with jokes. Cannot wait for another season with them all #MakeMoreMST3K

1:18 - "I-Bet-He-Met-A-Yeti!"

Man Eurovision 2024 hits different

The Return really hit the ground running.

10 people has had family and friends eaten by Kaiju

I love this so much. SO glad it's back

damn! one of those cut outs is a cartoon kinga, but you can only see the arm as Jonah puts it behind the Chinese bird...

this tops Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas and Sing the Praises of Pants in my book X3 BTE, tysm for adding captions

And Minnesota (Because as we all know MST3K was filmed in MN) has the Pukwugie!

crow saying "as a rap!" is like when tommy in goodfellas is getting "made" and he walks into the empty room and starts to say "oh n...." but then instead of being murdered it turns out to be a really nice and sweet surprise party with his favorite friends and he has a really great time.

The exact moment I fell in love with the new season.

The may as well be doing the weave and channeling the beastie's approach to MC'ing. I loved this segment.

I watch this to cheer myself up when I'm down, it just works! I was worried as a loooooong time MST3K fan i wouldn't like these new guys but they're really great!! Go watch them now! ;)

How much longer must I wait for this to be on itunes

This is sooooo great! I'm a huge fan of Joel and Mike and now alsoJonah. And of course the bots in all their manifestations. I love the old and the new--thank God for MSK3K--and thank you all so much for helping get through this damn-demic.

Lin-Manuel Miranda called this segment "One-take GENIUS". When Lin-Manuel fucking Miranda calls your work an act of genius, that means it's okay.

Been a hardcore fan since 92 and i hope Netflix will produce another season.

This gives me Flight of the Conchords feels. And I mean that as the ultimate compliment. 😻

One of my favorites from the series. So clever too. Thanks for uploading

This song did not have to be such a bop but goddamn they made it one

I'm all in! Joel I'm so glad you pushed for the reboot!

I was introduced to the series in the return and after hearing this I understood why my dad loved it.

Hey, that's me at 2:08!

This is perfect! A catchy song that feels exactly like it would fit in the original version.

Hello new ringtone.

This damn song has been playing in my head for weeks!

You can absolutely see Mike or Joel doing this song so that’s why it fits so perfectly.

RIP Mothman, USA's own most popular cryptid. Also worth noting that places like Japan, China and Ireland (whose mythology is with the Scottish Highlands (where the Scottish Gaels were chased to by the Anglo-Saxons who also stole the identity of British from the Britons who they called "Welsh" and later founded England) and the Isle of Man (which is where Manx cats come from and was used by the Anglo-Saxons as a staging ground to invade Ireland)) have _millions_ of monsters (Japan even has their own variation of the Wild Hunt called "Hyakki Yagyō" which translates to "Night Parade of One Hundred Demons" ). Although Japan appropriated some of theirs from China. Like how the kitsune was the huli jing in China (and sure enough the Japanese fox god Inari Okami came from China's Húxiān too).

We need a clowns in the sky III

This was a great way to bring new and old fans to this forgotten gem. Good to see you back 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'.

that's just such a chill keyboard riff

This was the exact moment I knew the Netflix seasons and beyond would be alright... And as usual, I was right

Why has nobody released an adult coloring book of these creatures? It would sell like hotcakes!

Just watched this episode with my boyfriend yesterday. We were both agreed that the show is perfect. This song was awesome.

thanks for awesomeness!!!!!😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨💩🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨💚🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

From what I heard this was done in one take, which I find impressive

There couldn't be a better person to be hosting this.

This never gets old

Best Kaiju-related song since Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla!" 🐲🐲🐲

I'll be honest, the Netflix age of MST3K was my least favorite era of the show in terms of riffing, but they absolutely knocked it out of the park when it came to musical host segments.

Anyone who disliked this video must’ve been assisted by jonah, Tom servo, or crow. Damn they even mention ‘Def Leopard’

This was the exact moment the new season sold me.

This song is genuinely awesome.

The Netflix episodes were hit and miss. This was one of the highlights.

It was this song that told me, 'everything is gonna be okay' oxoxoxo

That song was stuck in my head for a few days...

"I know I don't wanna die, but when I do he'll be the guy- WOAH!"

I'm so happy this is back