MTG Top 10: WORST Artifact Creatures | Magic: the Gathering | Episode 357 

Mishra's war machine's art looks like a 1970's progressive rock album cover

Richard Garfield once said of Mishra’s War Machine that it was a card that he preferred his opponent played. I once gave away a Revised one as a prize.

In the early days of magic they were super concerned with walls being too good. And they were even more concerned with landwalk being absolutely busted

Soldev was a city in NE Terisiare on Dominaria built upon the ruins of another city that was destroyed by the Ice Age following the Brother's War. There were a lot of artificers there, the most famous of them was Arcum Dagson, and eventually his creations along with some unearthed phyrexian war beasts went berserk and destroyed the city.

If Solemn Simulacrum is "sad robot", the Soldevi Simulacrum is "ticked off cyborg". 🤣

That Marble Priest textbox is hilarious. Might as well add the clause "As long as Marble Priest has flying, all walls declared to block Marble Priest must be able to block flying creatures and otherwise can't legally be declared to do so in the first place."

Jangling Automaton + Bubble Matrix + Sands of Time... Part of a control deck I used to have with Peacekeeper and Island Sanctuary.. People went bonkers when they realised the artefact combo. Had hilarious times with that deck.

I thought “banding” was one of the best “old” mechanics! I started playing MtG in the summer of 1993. My uncle owned a comic book/card shop and gave me my first summer job there that year. I was immediately obsessed and spent every penny I made over the following years on cards. In 2000, I brokered a deal for my entire collection (heartbreaking I know, but that transaction paid for my bachelor’s degree)... When the pandemic hit, my wife mentioned something about Arena and I decided to check it out. Needless to say, I’m back in the swing of things now and I’m really enjoying your channel! I wish there was a way to reach out to WotC and discuss the possibility of a “special event” wherein Alpha is rereleased ONLY on Arena... I think it would be amazing to step back in time and give everyone a chance to feel what MtG was like immediately after its inception!! Also, it would be the only way I’ll ever own the Power 9 again 😭.... Side thought: A Beta Badlands is now worth $1,200.00 in questionable condition!?!???!? We used to use duals to make proxys and now they’re around $1,000.00 a piece?!? I remember begging my Dad for a Lotus for Christmas ‘94 and he managed to find me 2 after driving to no less than five different states.. Total cost: Less than $300.00 (I believe they were $125.00 a piece). I apologize for rambling, the nostalgia is strong and MtG was such an important part of my adolescence. I have been out of the community for soooo long that I don’t have anyone to talk to or commiserate with about Magic.

In theory Marble Priest hoses things with Changeling too right? Since they count as Walls among their many types they'll all be forced to block him but can't damage him.

Most of these cards are just from the time when WotC was concerned that having powerful colourless cards would break the challenge provided by colour fixing and ruin the identity of plays with each colour.

The Jangling Automaton actually combos really well with Teeka's Dragon with Lure attached to it (or similar effect) n that land that taps for any colour but gives the opponent spirit tokens. U build up their forces even if they don't have creatures n the Automaton makes sure they all r untapped n able to get Lured in to trigger Teeka's rampage ability n then trample will finish them. This is actually 1 of my favourite janky combos in mtg.

Although Soldevi Sentry is clearly a bad card in most instances, it is probably played in EDH not as a political card, but as a 1 mana artifact. In cEDH, the (intentionally) more competitive variant of the formats, Storm is a top tier win condition. Unfortunately, cEDH is not a cheap format by any means, and in some cases players may experiment with alternatives to cards that are either too expensive to afford or cards that have negligible and/or replaceable effects. With Helm of Awakening, Soldevi Sentry is a free artifact creature, which could theoretically be incredibly powerful in several decks such as Jhoira Storm, Cloudstone Animar, Shimmer Zur, some Urza variants, and other lists looking to capitalize on cheap or free triggers enabled by artifacts and creatures on the stack or entering play. All of that being said, it is probably not in any cEDH database decklist because the card itself has a bad additional ability, and in the most competitive variants of any deck players want to avoid having dead cards in play as frequently as possible. But that does not make this particular card unplayable by any means, only less powerful/desirable than artifacts and artifact creatures with similar mana values. At $0.25, this is an excellent budget competitive card that probably deserves to see more play.

i actually laughed when i read the card text for steelcald serpent

I think the real thing that kills Teeka's Dragon is the flying, as in when you cast Lure on it, you re gonna miss out on a bunch of creatures to activate the Rampage:4 to a good effect. Well, that and the casting cost. Oddly enough, no. 7 can be used with Lure and something like Venom and since it untaps all the opponent's creatures, they ll be forced to block, then the Venom (or Basilisk Collar, or anything that gives it Deathtouch) will do the rest. Still, theres thousands of other cards and ways to get rid of creatures.

I feel like a lot of these creatures were balanced around channel. Like they were thinking of how busted these creatures would be if you could channel them out on turn 1 or 2. They would be strong at that point but also even back then were better things to channel.

As a passionate Mirrodin player and even more passionate Myr fanboy, I have on more than one occasion tried to make the Prototype do...something. Anything. Last best attempt was to horde counters to eventually convert onto a Darksteel Reactor. Never worked. Knew straight away the Dirigible and War Wagon were garbage, though. Never used them.

I play Jangling Automaton in exactly one deck: my Gabriel Angelfire EDH deck. Putting a lure on Gabriel and then untapping all your opponents' creatures can make Gabriel huge very quickly.

Soldevi Sentry might be pretty funny in a mill deck. It can protect you from attackers while the rest of your deck focuses on mill, and once your opponent is milled down far enough they'll eventually chose to stop drawing cards off of it.

Jangling Automation's flavour text is so appropriate though :p

1:26 Imagine that lol

The only time that I remember walls being a problem was during the Stronghold cycle … every color has multiple walls and they were efficient blockers and you could stop most attackers … you could build a Stronghold with your cards.

I remember cumulative upkeep being somewhat interesting at the time, since both players would often have a few cards with the mechanic, and there was a minor struggle between the players in terms of paying for various upkeeps. However, it was incredibly annoying to have that on a card, and a lot of the cards with the mechanic were poor. Compare that to something like Stasis, which has just simple upkeep of U but is a really good card, and it's easy to see why the cumulative upkeep was eventually dropped.

Great video! Thank you for your content c: Have you considered a top 10 clones/cloning effects video?

A bit surprised to not see Battering Ram, Horrible Hordes and Ebony Rhino on this list.

Jangling Automaton is fun to play with lure effects

I'm a little surprised leashling didn't make an appearance but then again what it does is unique enough that it can be a key card to some jank strategies. Hell, I ran it for a bit in edh

I have to stand in and defend Jangling Automaton as it is amazing tech in any Lure-based deck. Use it on a rampaging Gabriel Angel fire to rack up power or in the case of my personal deck, use it with a Toski equipped with Dead-Iron Sledge to guarantee that you blow up any and all creatures each turn!

Well for Teeka's Dragon, you could attach something that makes all their stuff block it. That could get out of hand quickly.

the main thing that kills teeka's dragon for me, is that it's flying, if it wasn't you could stick lure on it, but now you got to stick lure and find a way to remove flying.

At least in Block constructed, there was Galvanic Key, Dross Scorpion, Dreams Grip and Voltaic Construct (Darksteel) to potentially untap your Goblin Dirigible / War Wagon

Did you do a top 10 pet cards? Like cards that are underwhelming or bad, but you love them?

Informative, as always. Keep it up. 👍🏼

Used to have a combo in mind back in the day as a board wipe - Jangling automaton + Lure + Venom / Venomous Breath

Early in Magic, there was disagreement about how upkeep worked in cards like Mishra's War Machine, Force of Nature and Lord of the Pit that listed consequences (like damage) if you did not pay. People would choose not to pay upkeep and use Circle of Protection or Lifelink to cancel the damage. With the War Machine, this meant that if you liked all the cards in your hand, you could keep them and choose to tap the Machine. In 94 or 95 it was clarified that you could not simply choose to pay the consequences instead of upkeep. So if the only cards in your hand were a game winning Channel + Fireball, the Machine forced you to discard one of them. You could not simply tap it and take the damage, then win the game in your main phase. Mana payment upkeep was an exception; you didn't have to tap for mana. So Force of Nature + Lifelink remained a powerful combo, but Lord of the Pit + Lifelink could not save your other creatures. Force and Pit Lord have been rewritten to make this clear. I don't know how upkeep rules work now, or how they affect War Machine specifically, but The Machine was even worse than the literal text. (If War Machine had Trample like Force and Pit Lord, it would still be bad, but it would have been fun to play.)

Mishra's war machine is the kind of card that makes Mishra's workshop look fair.

I used to run a deck with Jangling Automaton, it was in a venom/lure/ basilisk deck and my friends dreaded seeing it hit the board !

A number of these cards were perfectly fine for the sets they were released in, some even very strong in sealed and drafts.

I actually played Mishra's War Machine in Zedruu 😅

I played simulacrum a lot in a very old school Tron deck. It's more of a glass cannon. Attack 1-2 times with it and dump all your mana into it then let it die.

Marble Priest was a good card in the meta of the day, because walls were everywhere. You force your opponent's walls to block Marble Priest, then annihilate them with a Leviathan or something similar.

Marble Priest: Protection from Walls 😂

Surprised not to see Steel Golem on the list. It’s on a lot of EDH lists-Zedruu lists.

TBH, Soldevi Sentry is great in decks with notion thief, Merlyn of the Mournsong, and a bunch of other "Opponents can't draw" effects. Can also be used in Zedru and politics decks, if only to draw an opponent a card as a favour. I honestly think it's better for edh than than the goblin not-vehicles

If you have an infinite mana combo you can put th Simulcarum in your deck next to your fireballs as a alternate win condition

Soldevi Sentry is the perfect political tool in 4 player commander, since it's the easiest way to give an opponent a card for favours.

I remember loving to play Teeka's Dragon in the early days, mana cost didn't matter much back then.

Myr Prototype is great lorewise. Expensive, not very powerful, they keep adding more shit on to it to make it more powerful but it just keeps costing you more to use it.

Guess Karn The Creator isn't wishboarding any of these.

Soldevi Simulacrum was a 4-star card in Inquest back in 1997 or so. And really, for the time, it was pretty decent because the pump effect was really strong at the time. You expected most large creatures to have drawbacks because that's how things were then. But boy has it not aged well.

Myr Prototype is the deal Fling sacrifise, since it gets huge power over time he can't use for combat.

I liked Teeka's Dragon card artwork when I was younger lol I was mad that it sucked so bad

the Myr Prototype would actually be an amazing creature to have in a +1/+1 counters deck only for the fact that Simic Ascendency doesn't care how a +1/+1 counter is put on a creature in that it just gains it's counters when +1/+1 counters are put on something you control. Soldevi Sentry is morelikely made use of in decks (like mono white) where all you care about is that it costs ONE mana and you have a 1/1 in play that is then potentially pumped by your anthem effects. It's no Memnite but anything you can potentially cheat into play just the same with any ONE cost reduction means it's another creature for you to put into play for whatever needs you have.

*Ponders if there are enough terrible artifact creatures to nudge out Razorfield Thresher, who made an uh... impact on me when I started playing* ... Yeah probably,

6:10 For Soldevi, isn't there a card now that let's you steal an oppnent's draw now? I feel like he would actually work rather well in decks where your opponent drawing helps you out or hurts them.

Soldevi sentry seems to be very good card!! :O

Myr Prototype could've been a really interesting card if it had been like a 1/1 for 2 that got a +1/+1 counter every turn and still had that pay effect to attack or block. Then you could play it on turn 2 and just let it sit there ticking up, seeming innocuous at first but gradually becoming something very scary.

Surprised Soldevi Steam Beast didn't make the list, easily the worst thing to ever come out of forges of Soldev.

6:35 From the MTG fan wiki: “Soldev was a city-state in Terisiare at the time of the Dominarian Ice Age. It was inhabited by expert machinists who loved to work with artifacts. [...] Soldev's greatest artificer, Arcum Dagsson, was the chief proponent for the machines. Ultimately, it was his machines that destroyed Soldev when they escaped control.”

Marble Wizard can Distract ALL Blockers, it's def top 3

Goblin's dirigible and war wagon seems to be the cards that would be better with the vehicles mechanic invented in caladesh. At least, they are both vehicles, alright.

With both No. 4's, you can untap them with spending the mana even if Meekstone is in play - other than that, big stinkers.

Now I need to add Mishra's war machine to my Mishra deck...

How does Colossus of Sardia not make this list? 9 mana to use once, and 9 more to untap it?

Damn I called Poor Mr. Dragon before starting the video. XD

I would've expected Eater of Days to show up. Nothing can be worth losing two turns unless you can work it into a weord rube Goldberg deck that wins the turn you play it, and I bet there's better ways to do that than with the eater

Myr Prototype can be a home in simic ascendancy theme edh decks

You know Straw Golem is bad when it doesn't even get considered.

Rampage is such a weak mechanic, if you can't force multi blocks. 'course, if you Can, then it's sometimes good. "Lure"ing a rampage creature and swinging at a token deck can be fun. But... Situational. As someone with a friend who runs a squirrel tribal deck, I probably put more weight on that than most people would.

The may ability on the sentry is actually worse than flat makeing an opponent draw a card. Can't use infinite mana to make them deck themselves.

so the sentry is a win con, get infinite mana, pump it into the sentry, force you opponents draw their decks

Teeka's Dragon is only creature in history that would be better without flying. Would have been amazing with no flying and a lure effect built in.

Have you done a video on the best cards with chageling? If not could you?

Do a Top 10 list of the number 1 cards you’ve done in the past

I do like these worst lists, even though it's super hard to find a way to lead them into a request for "Top 10 Vintage Cards (Minus Power 9)", they're still awesome. The worst artifact is my phone. The battery has swelled and the charging port is broken. So that's lovely.

Oh my lord 🤣🤣🤣 I have the honor of having Goblin Dirigible in my possession from all those years ago 🤣

Consider me genuinely surprised Copper Leaf Angel didn't make the list. A 5 mana 2/2 that in order to buff it, you need to tap and sacrifice lands? Ick!

(Typed at 0:00) I don't think I would put Teeka's Dragon on this list. A few things it has no negative ETB or static ability (if you do not include underwhelming stats outside of certain combat, as a negative static ability) or ability that prevents it from being put into play from hand, graveyard, library or exile and it is technically actually able to deal a bunch of damage. I feel like I am sure smaller really bad creatures are much worse (at all range of levels of play). . [Edit] For example I would rate Omega Myr as worse than Teeka's Dragon on many levels including as a whole with all cards up until now (including more casual formats, I think hypothetically Teeka's Dragon would still be better than Omega Myr in Modern). Even back when the card came out, Teeka's Dragon was one of the biggest strongest flying creatures (with just about only Spirit of the Night defeating it and surviving) and in combo deck it would be good or an alternative option for a big strong, and in a casual deck or even control deck one might get to 9 mana and win if the opponent doesn't have removal for the next couple of turns. Omega Myr would have been an absolute nothing, especially in constructed, it would be little more than desperate filler in a two mana slot. I mean even blue pretty much had better commons and/or fairly vanilla 2 drops than Omega Myr at the time around 7 years earlier, for example Merfolk Traders, Sea Sprite, Sage Owl or Sea Scryer.

I'm kinda curious what your top ten for best card art would be, but that would be a pain to go through a lot of cards to make the list. So I don't recommend doing it, unless you have a lot of spare time

hell yea this is my kind of mtg top 10

Jangling Automaton would actually be pretty good with Mesmeric Orb

I use Soldevi Sentry in my Chulane deck - less because of what it does, and more because it's a cheap creature that easily triggers Chulane, and a few cards in the deck can decrease its cost to 0. It may be a laughable creature now, but a whole horde of these tiny creatures and a Craterhoof is nothing to laugh at.

Stuff like goblin dirigible and goblin war wagon there’s a simple way around that, an artifact Or creature or other recurring way to untap artifacts To which there are many

No Straw Golem? It dies the second anyone plays a creature.

I'm wondering at the start if Draco will make the list.

I bet Richard from MtG Goldfish loves this series

Soldevs sentry might be ok in a mil deck?

I had so many war machines. Wish I'd kept them.

Top "x" cost or highest cmc?

Teeka's Dragon does have trample so I would advise against chump blocking it all day.

I'm telling you teekas dragon, urza tri land combo for easy casting,any lure effect, you get you Manas worth. Not the easiest to make happen but if you have four of each urza land, not that hard either.

I'm surprised Soldevi Steam Beast didn't get on. Huh.

Soldevi sentry could be a somewhat decent combo with underworld dreams I guess, so at least that lol.

Surprised soldevi steam beast didn't make it

Jangling is amazing if you can combo it with all creatures able to block do so.. and thene deathtouch em all or something like that.

Is there a card that can reduce the cost of murder prototype? It could become extremely powerful

No Soldevi Steam Beast? A 5-mana 4/2 that gives the opponent 2 life whenever it becomes tapped. (Oh it can also regenerate, but so what?)

Myr Prototype works in a Bosh or fling Deck. Just let it get big and then throw it at an opponent or an opponents creature

Soldevi Steam Beast is also pretty bad.

Y'know I'm actually surprised Soldevi Sentry doesn't see even more play in EDH. Pay 1 to let an opponent draw a card seems like a fun political tool.

Rust elemental is basically another mishras war machine