My 3 EASY TRICKS To Make First Dates Less AWKWARD | Matthew Hussey 

proof that confidence can make any shirt look good

hands in the bucket if u have watched this before a first date hahaha

1. Touch early and often (the longer you wait the more awkward it gets) (being warm is not being desperate) 2. Don’t sit opposite each other (it immediately gets awkward) park bench style allows you to people watch or not be forced to look at each other during silent moments. 3.do something that involves actual external focus, especially if you aren’t a conversation expert)

These are really great tips for people with social anxiety.

Don't have a date tonight, tomorrow or maybe even next month, just watching these dating videos just in case.

About a month ago I went out on a date with a man that I knew was shy. We went to a nice restaurant that was quiet and we sat directly across from one another. Typically I am not a quiet person but I was feeding off of him. We sat there miserable for less then 1 hour and then I went home. After listening to this I called him back up and asked him if he wanted to go for a motorcycle ride. I was shocked that he said yes. But it was perfect. I sat behind him and talked into his ear and got to rub his back and make that first physical connection to let him know I was interested and he was able to get comfortable enough talking to me without having to stare straight at me. This was brilliant! By the time we got back from our road trip and were face to face again we had 3 hours of conversation and 3 hours of things we could look back on and talk about. "Wow wasn't that waterfall amazing it reminded me of this one time..." Great advice, keep it coming. ;)

I don't even have a date wtf am I doing here.

Dude im going on a date in 2 hours i feel like im going to war 😂😂😂😂

I'm going on a zoom date do to quarantine and the first tip is "TOUCH EARLY AND OFTEN"

''don't sit opposite each other'' AMEN! finally someone said that, thank you. I find it so awkward

Shows up to first date, extends arms out: "Hug?.." *3 sec pause* "No? okay.." :(

I have a Date tomorrow and im so nervous. Im quite a shy person and im so scared of arkward silence Edit: holy shit I never realized that this had so many comments. So for everyone asking, that was my first date (I was 16 or 17). I think it went better than expected, there was no awkward silence. No we didn’t end up in a relationship.

This was actually so sweet. He’s not a skeevy pick up artist or trying to take advantage of anxious/ socially awkward people. He’s just trying to help and giving real practical tips it’s so refreshing and comforting to see well intentioned and logical people like this

Me: "Hey, how are you? How was your day?" Them: "Not bad, How was yours?" Me: " Pretty good, I spent half the morning watching documentaries and coming up with new recipes for my job's menu." Them: "Oh, that sounds fun." Me: "So what do you like to do in your down time? Do you have any hobbies or interests?" Them: " I just chilled and hung out." Me: "Um... Well that sounds fun... What do you like to do when you chill?" Them: "I like to hang out." Me: "Oh that sounds fun. I like to cook and travel. I'd like to go to Spain sometime. Have you traveled much?" Them: "No not really." Me: "um.... Okay.... What kind of music do you like?" Them: "I listen to everything." Me: "Uhhh.... Okay... I like a lot of different types of music too. I'm a huge fan of Classic rock, grunge and classical music. It helps me relax since it has some meaning behind it." Them: "Ohhh..." Me: "Okay, fuck this."

just take a shot before a date !

I'm so nervous.

getting ready for my first date, oh my world im so nervous

I have been binge watching date vids my first date is in an hour! Wish me luck

1 - Touch early and often. 2 - Don't sit opposite each other. Sit next to them. 3 - Do something that involves having external focus, particularly if you are bad at conversation. Such as a walk, hike, or just watching people on a bench.

I've done the sit beside thing a number of times before. It actually helps immensely with the touch aspect. Reaching out across the table to touch her is rather creepy, but if you're sitting beside her it can come a lot more naturally.

i asked a guy out and we had the best first date EVER! it was instant chemistry after knowing him for around 4 months but just as friends, and we talked for HOURS and time flew by. we sat side by side, and it never felt awkward. im still seeing him! Edit: omg... how am I just seeing this 6 years later!!!!!! You guys are awesome. We broke up after 3 years.... but we were fairly compatible for most of it. Our life goals were just too different. I wanted kids and he didn’t... now I’m with the love of my life and we met on bumble!

I like the shirt he's wearing, it looks easy to tear off

Imagine dating the actual Matthew Hussey. So much pressure lol

“If you initially see him and give him a hug” *laughs in corona*

Maybe I am old fashioned, but I HATE kissing on the first or second date especially with someone you met online. A kiss is something pretty intimate and I feel like it says "I am interested in you in a sexual way, and I want to see you again". But with someone you have never met before, or someone you don't know that well, I feel like the first couple dates should be about getting to know that person as a human being, and seeing if you are even attracted to that person in the first place- ITS MORE THAN "oh hes hot". I had a REAALLLY bad first date the other day, where he was nice at first, and we did something super fun and adventurous, but then immediately was turned off because he constantly tried kissing and hugging me. It ruined it, ruined the first impression and now I refuse to see this person. Whereas a guy I dated 3 years, we went on many dates before we kissed, and as I began to become attracted to him, I think it made me more excited to see him and I anticipated that moment more.

jesus christ i wish i had have watched this before my date hahaha

How do u even touch him? I cant even look him in the eye

this is great! kind of knew these already but a great refreshener. 1. introduce physical contact early on so touching becomes more natural and not awkward, e.g. when you meet them give them a hug or a peck on the cheek as well as little touches here and there 2. don't sit opposite each other, if there's a silence it will be more awkward because you dont know where to look, if you sit next to each other and there's a silence you can just look at the surroundings together 3. if you're nervous or shy use the external stimuli/activity (museum, park) to create conversation

The more you worry about the date being awkward the more it gets awkward. Never have a goal at the end of the night.. not even a kiss. Always have the mind set of just meeting a new friend and you will be 100% less nervous. When you make expectation you are worried about not meeting those expectations. If your a bad talker then go to the movies or a concert.. a place where talking isnt 100% necessary. If your naturally a nervous person on dates than dont be shy about letting the person know. Breaking that bridge can help the other make you feel better, just dont apologize a shit ton if you say stupid things. Being confident even if you fake it is key

So true about the 0 to 60 on a first date kiss. On a blind date once I hadn't anticipated the kiss since we hand't really had much physical contact throughout the date. Then at the end he just pulled me in and kissed me. Sounds romantic right? Well it wasn't. I was like "WTF!?" and my instant reaction was to push him off me. The date ended so awkwardly...

Wow those tricks are actually game changing

The fact about sitting adjacent to each other actually sounds brilliant to me, didn't even think of that. I pictured my first "date" with someone I've known for a while as us, sitting completely opposite of each other and now I can see how impractical it is in comparison to sitting next to, or adjacent to each other. I imagine it's more freeing.

Best tips I've heard. Usually its just "Be yourself", "Don't be nervous" etc.

I did this unintentionally at the first date with my first boyfriend. We immediately clicked and I always wondered why I never had that with other guys. Now thinking back of this date I realize what I did wrong the following dates after my first boyfriend.

I hate first dates

Matthew just looks like a really jacked Daniel Radcliffe

If it's a restaurant and a 4 sided table, sit at 90 degrees to him. Easier to see the face and yet people watch, etc. I've done that and it's much more comfortable and makes it easier to have a conversation.

First date coming fellas and she's exactly my type. Wish me luck

If you have chemistry the date will go 100 Times better. Nothing worse than a first date where you are like “yeaaaa no this isn’t going to work” lol.

that second one is especially smart.

great advice except don't go for a walk by a river or in the park unless you're confident you will be safe ... remember, you don't know this date!

I'm going to put this on all the posts I watched. I watched this video the morning of my first date and it helped a tonne. Stories about my life I was struggling to think of beforehand but funny ones came to me during the date just as I needed it. If you ever start discussing something negative, always turn it positive with a funny story. Make her laugh, never sit opposite if you can. Always get there before her. The bouncers gave me one last tip before the date arrived. I was standing in the cold lol. Don't wait outside; it makes you look desperate. Also how you feel, she feels so push away nerves by talking to those around you before she arrives and familiarising yourself with the environment. Make bets with her and lose so she can buy you a drink too. Let her repay the evening with only a drink/ice cream or whatever during the same date (she should offer). Go kino EARLY. Start with a hug, she may or may not choose a peck. Be decisive but a gentleman e.g. about when to eat or do things etc. Don't ask her where she wants to go, have things planned out. Flow in conversation. Move environments, even if it's seats in the same bar. Have things planned like a competitive or team work activity that allows you to interact. Gentle taps on her shoulder whilst laughing, briefly move your hand over hers and let go whilst your both laughing. But don't go too early on this, it has to set up a relationship for a bit. So maybe an hour in if it's going well. Move in close sitting next to her. Maybe even lean close to say something funny (make sure your mouth hygiene is impeccable. Floss, Use a tongue cleaner/scraper with tongue gel and ultradex to be sure). If it's going well you should have tonnes to talk about. Someone here said FORD family, occupation, recreation, dreams. Don't reveal too much about yourself if you want a second date. Tease her a little, to break down her wall but don't make her feel insecure. Compliment something she has done e.g. hair/worn rather than a feature of her body. Never compliment makeup; the reasons for that should be obvious. If the date is successful she'd set up the second one in some way, it might be mentioning she's doing something for charity etc. Take interest in HER. Generally if things are going well, her eyes won't wander, this is why it is so important you set up an environment you're comfortable with. The worse you are with conversation, the more external focus you need e.g. bowling to fill the gaps/tour a stately home, palace together or go on a boat ride. Point out similarities between you rather than differences. Choose DIFFERENT drinks to her on purpose after asking what she's having to show you have a mind of your own. Do something spontaneous at least once during the date like do something you're both willing to do to make you both embarrassed like dance randomly for a few seconds on your way out. It will show her CONFIDENCE and fun and exciting. You'll only have confidence if you calm your nerves that's why I'll say it again, talk to people around you and make small talk to compose yourself before the date. Finally go kino again at the end, with a hug, hopefully she'll give you the peck this time. Remember the aim of the first date is NOT to get a kiss (that's a Hollywood thing), but instead, a second date with her. Hopefully it's her that sets you up. Walk her to wherever she's going to get her ride home. Be a gentleman and put your arm round her, asking her if she doesn't mind you bringing her close if she's cold. Finally after an hour or two text to ask if she got home safely, she'll probably text saying she had a lovely time before that though. Give her a chance to do it though. Resist the urge to text her the next day before she does. Resist a further urge to text back straight away. That urge will be the hardest you've done. Respond with things that follow up on things you talked about during the date. Make her feel good about herself but always make yourself the prize and like a kitten, she'll keep interest in the ball of wool. Never boast though. I learned so much in one night and can't believe how many years I feared this day... And it went beautifully. She set up the next date. I just want to thank all of you in the comments section and the creator of this video who literally changed my life. Don't be put off if it goes bad, not everyone is made for each other and it is better you break off and stay friends than force something that won't work. Take it all slow. Don't be disheartened. Perfect practise makes perfect. Good luck brothers.

I used the touch often tip! Set my timer to beep every ten minutes then we have to touch. She loved it, worked great.

Boys, just came back. It was really nice. I was like nervous in the begining, but then it was smooth conversation.

This was so helpful! This is perfect for shy girls like me. 💗

who the hell sits side by side at dinner ?

Sitting opposite each other is also known to be seen as more formal and intimidating. I remember in my peer counselling classes we were told to sit in a sort of 45 degree angle next to each other so that it's comforting and less intimidating to the other person.

Great video! I love the bluntness "the worse you are at conversation the more external focus you need"

I haven't been on a first date yet but from my experience talking to guys it's always easier to have something to resort to when things get awkward, such as a game. Something as simple as just asking random questions to each other, because you can figure stuff out about them, talk about it, and then if there's ever an awkward pause, then you just be like, "ok your turn".

I'm having first date tomorrow.. Wish me luck

Won't it seem weird to sit directly next to someone on a first date though?

I do truly have to say the first thing he says about touch early is so spot on. I do that and it relieves alot of tension early

Omg, I hugged him BEFORE I saw this video! We ended up talking for over five hours and we want to see each other again

Great points being made here. I still have things to work on but wanted to share this. Sometimes I find it helpful during an awkward silence to simply take a few slow deep breaths and just let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes a positive topic will just generate and keep things flowing. It also puts you in a state of relaxation which your date will notice and feed off of as well. Also, find something to compliment her on, like her shirt, jewelry, her hair style, lipstick, her speaking voice, etc. It shows that you’re noticing her appearance and can make her feel more at ease.

Man I’m sad I even had to look this up

It's my first time hearing that advise, "not sit opposite with each other", and I was like "oh so that's why!" because often times it feels more like an interview rather than a casual conversation hahaha.

I have a date in.. Four hours, so I'm basically binging all of these videos. 😂

Thanks man, tomorrow we’re gonna go see topgun. I just turned 16 and this is gonna be my first ever date. She’s so gorgeous. Wish me luck boys.

''just give a hug' its actually harder than you think lmao

The best dates i had was when i haven't sat in front of a guy. I never noticed that until now

I’m impressed on how much he knows and how objective his facts are

The touch thing makes sense, but personally if I JUST met someone and this was our first date I wouldn't really want them to touch me. I'm not much of a touch person in general, even with friends it takes me a long time to warm up to the hug stage of our relationship. But I can see myself being more comfortable with it if I've met them and interacted with them a few times previously.

Sitting beside each other on a date is so underrated. It makes things 10 times less intimidating and awkward, stellar tip!

External activity: put on a porn movie as a surprise.

given that he gives dating advice, mr hussey must spit some pretty good game to catch his prey

I am heading out on a first date to go feed the ducks and walk along the river. Thanks for the advice!

Or take some shots of vodka for confidence and everythig will be gucchy

Dude this video is deadass helpful. Honestly wasn't even expecting that 😂

As someone who hasn't gone on any date yet, this video makes me feel to never want to go on date because I'm so shy and need time to be comfortable with someone that I don't know 🤔

Start the date with a hug. Good start :)

This is such great advice! All of the awkward dates I've had were because of the mistakes you talked about. I will definitely be using these tips before my next first date.

This literally helped me so much❤️

I sat directly in front of the person I just went on the first date with, and it was fine. We both enjoyed good conversation, and there was no awkward silence. Could have continued talking until now, hours later, but it was starting to get too dark outside.

You supposed to kiss at the end? I think I'll die if I kiss this early 😂

My first date ever is in 4 days and is with this short cute quiet girl. We already have a nice inside joke to goof around with from our initial texting, which I think can always help.

I really needed this cause I'm awkward as hell

Going on my first date in two hours and I feel so confident now!! We are going to the cinema wich has a lot of external activity of course, and after we’re eating sushi! The sushi restaurant has the benches that allow us to sit next to each other. If the restaurant seems full, I’ll convince him to sit on the benches

I’m 14 and I met one of the most amazing girls I’ve ever seen. She’s beautiful, kind, smart. Everything about her perfect. People say middle school relationships don’t last. But I believe it can. I don’t want to mess it up

Hahah just got home from my best first date ever! We hugged right away and touch was so natural and Intentional the entire time. We sat next to each other at both restaurants we went to and ate korean bbq so we had to cook the food ourselves which was a great external distraction. The only thing that didnt work was the darn t shirt line from your other video! Lol 😆 may work on some other guys but this guy did not get it ....he thought it was an insult until i explained and had to confess it was a line.i think our more frank and honest conversation was more our speed but i truly appreciate all your tips and advice for us all in the dating world. ❤❤❤ Thank you!

yeah, it's awful when you haven't touched at all and then they try to kiss. like, no mate, thank u

My god, internet dating is a challenge. I live by these tips, and i didnt even know it :D When introducing yourself as a girl I take the initiative and hug the guy when we meet, lets him know touch is okay and then it doesn't feel as awkward as a handshake... Also breaf touches on his arm when he says something funny or when I start a conversation to get his attention. I do never sit across but thats more me feeling nervous about his eyes constantly on me while eating. But definitely something I'll keep in mind to do:) And external activity is a great way to remove some of the nerves you get if nervous. Also a great tip for those who suffer with a lot of anxiety when you have a lot of nerves. Only thing I would say is that the external experience could also be an activity all your examples would be awkward without conversation at some point. A walk is nice but I prefer activities of some kind to help with nerves or silent moments, like bowling. Now a movie and dinner is my worst idea of a first date, but so common 'in the movies'. But there is such a long time gap without conversation that you are technically sitting with a stranger in silence for 2 hours before you get to know the other person, sure the movie is a good conversation starter but the movie isnt why you went on a date was it? My ideal first date is actually some activity like bowling. Now I am very bad at it but the good thing about bowling is you move your body so there is activity which helps you lose some of the nerves by moving around without looking awkward. When you talk alot and there is a silence you move to take your shot and then resume the conversation. I spent 3 on 1 game... that is what 10 rounds each? 3 hours then you have gotten to chat you are more comfortable in each others present and a walk or dinner or just going to the pub comes more natural as you chat. Or if you don't think the evening went well you can thank him for his time and leave. I never meet at his or my place for the first date, if we end up there at the end thats another story but by meeting somewhere more crowded you actually need to get to know the other not just jump in the sack which is such a easy place to get to when the bedroom is 1 door away... doesn't really feel like a guy is serious if he invites me home anymore after that realization, and yes I have had this experience. Also a guy asked if I had sex on the first date, even if I would, I would answer yes at that point because of the implications that he wasn't looking for more than just sex... if you have sexual interests in a potential partner preferably ask in person and definitely not before you even had your first date... somethings should be obvious... Can you do a video about does and dont on a first date as well as does and donts when first chatting online or flirting, and huge No No topics to avoid? Very interested in the mans point of view :)

This was actually really helpful. On my last date I went to an Italian place and sat directly across from the girl. Big mistake, it was really awkward. Will go bowling or something next time. I did greet her with a hug initially, I'm not sure if she liked it at the time as she gave me a very surprised look, but yeah it's probably the right move looking back. It was awkward but the first touch is going to be awkward no matter what.

This man is legendary 7 years later🐐

I have a date tomorrow Wish me luck guys

I feel like going to a restaurant is the worst possible first date. Just my own personal feeling but damn it can be so awkward. Once went on a first date at night to the beach. We made food together first and sat there with our food on a blanket drinking wine. It was awkward at times but the lapping of the waves drowned out any awkwardness. It was nice and simple.

This is VERY culturally unique. In some cultures, touching on the first date is inappropriate, let alone kissing someone.

wow, that sitting next to them tip is pure genius!

"a great river" that is so humble and sweet

I love first dates, because I'm actually generally good at breaking the ice. I always hug the guy LOL and im always touching shoulders or arms or something. It actually works, especially with shy guys. They open up quickly. So take it from me, someome who does all the tips matthew has just mentioned, it works!!

What about if he takes you to a restaurant you have to sit opposite to him other wise it would seem strange.

I like shy guys, taking my time and I wouldn't feel comfortable with a hug on a first date. It's important to keep the person, body language and situation in mind.

My first date was sooo akward but it made it really cute, mysterious, fun and lead us for a wonderful relationship

The underside of his face and his voice are almost identical to Daniel Radcliff.

Clicked on this with a shit ton of anxiety

I love museum dates. I love talking while looking at art and historical items. Allows for casual touch to draw attention to things It can go as slow or quickly as you like. I enjoy conversation and learning. I enjoy people who also like these things. I like antique markets, outdoor or farmers markets, free music festivals etc. Inexpensive or free, interesting, has opportunities to gauge what the other person likes, plus plenty of time / places to eat or sit and chat.

Tomorrow I have my very first date, Very solid tips. I will update this.

I have my first date ever in two hours. I'm scred that the conversation will get awkward and silent.

I was in a 4 yrs relationship broke up kept to myself and now I'm bout to go on a first,date got anxiety so bad smdh

going on my first date this weekend I'll keep you updated

What's the difference between " next to him" and "adjacent to him" ? sounds the same to me .