Who made you feel there was something wrong with you? You were born perfect, beautiful and worthy of all the good things in life. You weren't broken, and you didn't need to be fixed.
@@brockreynolds870 the short answer is no one made me feel this way and it's not something I can take credit for. It was always present and guided some of my actions and habits. It's a mental condition that caused me incredible depression, anxiety, and discomfort. When I started my hormones I could feel almost all of that being lifted off of my shoulders. I hoped this answered your question and that you stick around to see the outcome and what I experienced along the way 😁
@@BriannaSinclair I suppose when I said "who" I should qualified it that I didn't really mean a single person.. it can also mean society in general, and thei gender stereotypes are a huge imprint on us, even as children. It really bothers me that society causes young people to feel they have to medicalize their gender non confomity, because they feel they are somehow "not good enough" Misongyistic men have done this to women for decades, that's why so many get silicone breast implants.
@@brockreynolds870 it's never been about being good enough to anyone except myself to solve the enigma that is my dysphoria. Transgender people started using surgeries used by people who don't suffer from gender dysphoria to either feminize or masculinize their body. Every surgery performed for a transgender individual has roots outside of the gender transition. I do hear the child argument quite often and the truth is we don't care about that. I myself want kids of my own but not so I can raise them to be transgender. Transgender people have been around for thousands of years and don't show any sign of going anywhere, why would we want to do that? We just want to finish our transition and live out our lives just like any other person, but instead we are discriminated against, murdered, and beaten for a disorder that I didn't choose to have. I'm just glad I'm getting treatment for it. Society is becoming more and more acceptable because we don't hinder the population or cause any harm at all. It's similar to what has happened to left handed people. They were discriminated against and taught not to use their left hand but when it became more socially acceptable to be who they were the number of people who were left handed rose as expected because they weren't being taught to use their right hand in place of what they were used to naturally. All the data points in surgical transitioning being beneficial and medically necessary for our mental health
There is a type of cancer that grows with estrogens and it's extremely fast growing and agressive. Doctors tell women not to worry during pregnancy because they're 'sort of' protected from basically any serious illness... BUT there is this type of cancer that's fueled by estrogens (the woman is flooded by hormones during pregnancy) and doctors don't talk often about it to avoid stressing out the mother. Check yourself frequently even in the armpit area and act immediately if you notice something, even if it's not of a 'hard consistency' but just a softer lump. It only takes months to take one out.
@@Anna-fw7lm I appreciate the warning. I tried to look up what was caused and I could only find breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and endometrial cancer and it claims if it's too much estrogen, which makes sense why it would occur in some pregnant woman. My testosterone blockers allow me to safely transition with a low amount of estrogen that starts at a low dose and can be stepped up periodically so I may reach the estrogen levels of a biological woman. I do check myself as I am noticing changes to monitor my progression because I do understand that anyone can get breast cancer, I would just rather catch it early. I hope you stick around and see the progress I make along the way 😁
I don’t know anything about how it is to be transgender, but I imagine it must be hard. I’m glad your doing okay, and are doing what makes you happy! ❤️ Sendin’ hugs and love
@@That_randomSwiftie thank you, I appreciate that so much. If you would like I could explain it the best I can. I hope you stick around to see the conclusion of my journey 🫂
@@BriannaSinclair OMG thank you so much! I guess my first question would be what is it like to discover you’re trans? Is it like a feeling, other than is it more like a sudden realisation? Or is it maybe different for everyone?
@@That_randomSwiftie whenever I realized I was transgender I was crossdressing in private and I started trying on makeup because it made me feel good. The moment I realized it I was terrified and dedicated to never transitioning because I was afraid of losing my wife. I did everything I could to bury it and whenever she finally asked me because she knew I was crossdressing and playing in makeup she sat me down and asked me straight out. I told her that I believed I was and we both cried. I told her I didn't want to lose her over it because for the first time in my life I was with someone who loved me back. She never wanted to see me get dressed up and I was afraid I was wrong, but she got me my first breastplate so I could try it on and see if I was transgender or a crossdresser. Whenever I crossdressed there was never a feeling of "this is wrong" except whenever one of my ex's caught me and was shocked, it was more of this feels right. I attributed it to the fabric being softer, or the clothes looked cute, but I knew I looked like a boy. Then one day she showed me something that I will never forget. She had just gotten out of surgery and I was taking care of her when she showed me what I would look like if I was born a female. She uploaded a picture of me and put it in face app. She elongated my hair and gave me breast l, even tried out different hair colors and it made me feel wonderful to look at myself as who I wanted to be externally but feeling all the memories associated with that picture as if they just happened, but as the woman I am. Long before telling her I sat down and made a list of all the reasons I could be transgender and after presenting this list to my therapists both said I was absolutely transgender. I cried again because every time my transition became more and more real the fear of losing my wife became that much more real. We went through our own hiatus so we could both figure out if we could make it work and we have decided that we can't live without one another. She's actually my biggest supporter. She taught me how to do my makeup, helped me get dressed up, took me out as myself, bought me or gave me my shapewear, and encouraged me the whole way. In short after making my list and listening to the testimony of other transgender women about how they knew and those of detransitioners to figure out how they knew they weren't it was easy to figure out and come forward. Whenever I dressed up I was perfectly happy in my own skin and everything made sense because I was always anxious and uncomfortable to the point I was a social pariah and never fit in with anyone because there was no one else like me. I grew up knowing 2 transgender men in my senior year who were my friends but no transgender woman. I thought it was cool and I was so happy for them. My transition has been complicated due to my job, my relationship, and my social life, but I am solving this enigma and becoming the woman I have always meant to be. I hope this long winded and unorganized response answered your question. If it didn't I will be more than happy to rephrase it
It takes time for your body to change on hrt years not to be a negative person mentally you change been hrt for 4 years now the 1st 6 months my emotions went haywire glad my physcriatrst was there for me because it was crazy time for me definitely didn't see any body changes for years b8t will happen for you if you stay the coarse
@@ReneeLerner-f6e you're absolutely right, it does take time. My emotions did get more intense at first, but it feels like I am used to the effects. The whole reason I am making this series is because everyone's transition is different. We experience similar things and different points and I am recording these videos weekly to inform my audience of what I am experiencing on my transition. To fully develop and get the max effect from HRT everything I have read takes years. I don't know why it took years for you to see any body changes because I started noticing them early. I haven't noticed anything Major but what I am trying to capture are the small changes that accumulate into these big changes. You weren't being negative just honest and I understand. I hope you stick around and keep watching me on my journey. I don't know what this channel will turn into but I would like it to be a fun, creative, and happy place where we could share our stories and maybe further science to help those who are transitioning with our testimonies. It's just a thought because I don't have any real plans for it, it's essentially my diary for my transition
Ths just popped up in my recommendations and I want to let you know you're doing GREAT! :D Genuinely really beautiful, I hope your transition goes well/keeps going well!
Thank you, I hope it goes well too and I appreciate that. I am so grateful for your encouragement. I hope you stick around to see my final form as the woman I was always meant to be 😁
@@JorgeOrtízDamuadt your messages are very sweet and I love them, but I am already married. These videos are my video diary about my transition. I hope you choose to stick around and get to see my journey come to fruition ☺️
@@BarryOgline I appreciate that so much and I'm glad you're enjoying my channel. This might be an unclimactic ride but it's been a wonderful experience so far and I am happy to be able to share it with everyone 😊
I wish there were a more private way to communicate with you. I can't post my person contact info here. I wish you could post an email to receive communications.
i do understand wanting more privacy but here I have nothing to hide. I am an open book about almost everything and if you have any questions regarding my transition I would love to hear and try and answer them 😁
@@ItsLookingUp thank you, I present as a woman mostly so I prefer she and her, but I truly appreciate your encouragement and support. I understand my existence is odd and unique but I feel like if a community existed where people were kind and respectful it would help people especially those struggling with their identity 😁
I was about to ask if that was a wig or your natural hair. Mainly because it looks really good and I wanted to know your secret for growing such long and lovely hair! 😊
I like interesting people. Your personality is interesting. You have gentle shyness and your voice is soft and higher than normal male accompanied by a sweet smile that works with transfeminine transition. Men like that submissiveness in a transwoman that you project. .not that you care about that. Just saying. . You might not need it but most transwomen benefit in a huge way with 2 main things, higher voice and ffs. If you can't run try hill climbs
@@Supercalifragilisticexpial-r2x I appreciate the wonderful compliments. I do try and portray myself at my max femininity and you're right I don't care about what men think of me, lol. I appreciate you understanding that because it shows me that you actually watched and were interested in what I have to say. I do plan to have ffs and if I had it my way I would go to Dr. Peter Raphael and I am doing voice training to help improve my voice. I'm assuming you're talking about building muscle in your legs to help feminize your body, right? I wear shapewar to help me feel better and look better as well but I do run to stay in shape and hopefully get a more feminine figure. Please keep following my journey. I would love to have more people like you who actually take it seriously and I thank you again for commenting 😁
Girl you got this. It is a journey and you can not rush it. I know you will have great days good days and bad days. I know you will have more great and good day and less bad days. You are strong and beaitiful. Stay safe and keep on your journey.
@@jongrubbs7148 thank you for all the encouragement and you're absolutely right. there will be good days, great days, but and bad days, but they are my days and that's all that matters to me. Each day is a wonderful gift that I try and take advantage of. I do my best to be strong about everything and to be honest there's not much I have to be strong about. The vast majority of people have been truly accepting and that is honestly that's been more than enough 😁
@@JorgeOrtízDamuadt I'm really glad it is coming off that way because I would like for people to understand my transition and hopefully apply that understanding in dealing with other transgender people and for those of us that are transgender to help create a part to let everyone know what it's like going through it and what roughly to expect 😁
@@LP-hs6yz I do those things to help me feel more feminine in my own skin. These videos help me practice my voice, and give me the chance to practice my makeup. The wig I wear because I am not allowed to grow out my hair yet until my exception to policy is finished being signed out and hopefully that will be soon 😁
@@TheRawChuck thank you I am trying to get my voice even more feminine so it sounds more natural. My personality is honestly just how I am and I do what I can to make myself beautiful to me. I hope you stick around to see the results of my journey 😊
I would like to make a few points to you regarding your transition. I didn't hear anything about a primary care physician. This person can be your best ally, especially when you hit medical rough patches. BTW.......more hormones aren't necessarily good. Your body can only absorb so much at one time and you pee out the rest. Plus....too much can affect you emotionally, and not in a good way. I have seen it. If you don't know, transition is a long process and not a sprint. In the next few years you will change a number if times; if you watch this video in 3 years, you may not recognize anything about yourself. Don't bank on anything after 9 weeks of hormones. You have no idea what you don't know and, again, in a few years you will be in a very different place. I hope that you are seeing a good therapist and sharing feelings, goals, and projections. You have said a few things that concern me; starting with what tou think womanhood is and what you think it will do for you. I don't mean to seem negative but I have walked alongside hundreds of trans people of all ages in the course of my 35 years out. I hope that you have some good friends to confide in who won't tell you what you want to hear but WILL tell you what you need to know and when you stray off the trail.
@@asiwassaying6726 I appreciate your concern, I truly do. I don't really mention my primary care physician because his portion in my transition has been very small to be frank. He's always there for guidance and questions, but he makes a determination and will outsource it to make double sure so a mistake isn't made. I don't expect much as it takes a long time to see the changes I am seeing. I fully recognize that many of them are probably present already and I just haven't noticed, and some I won't fully notice or won't be done developing for years. I felt it necessary to do all the research I could before even coming out because I felt it was my duty to myself, and my wife so I knew exactly what to expect and what was the safest way to do it or accomplish everything. I am just enjoying the ride to be honest with you. I see 2 therapists, each one covering a different aspect of my transition and my life but overlapping a bit. I do discuss everything regarding it because I believe honesty is the best policy. I don't really have a view on what womanhood, I am trying to figure out what that means for me because it's a very fluid at the moment for me. I am a woman but I can't be a female because I am not a biological woman. I recognize I am going through womanhood but in a slightly different way because as I am becoming the woman I aspire to be she is what awaits at the end. I also don't want more hormones, I just want my levels to be that of a biological woman's and I am just starting out. I'm actually thankful for the testosterone blockers because they allow me to start with low levels and keep my body from increasing the production of testosterone. You weren't being a downer either, if anything concerned and looking out for me. I appreciate that because I do want to live a long life. I am enjoying my transition, my wife is more than brutally honest with me and frankly keeps my ass together, lol. Thank you so much. I hope you stick around and see who I blossom into😁
It's great that you want to share this with us, it is not an easy choice that you make and go through. am really proud of you big hug to you greetings Peter❤
@@ipppbakker it is me pleasure to share it with the world to show what we go through as transgender woman. True it's not easy. I'm very busy so sticking to this can be challenging but it's definitely worth it 🫂
