I had a horrific au pair experience too. It just ended today - the host mum kicked me out of their house on the spot because I didn't 'click' enough with the kids (the kids hadn't been raised well at all, no discipline, and completely spoilt - they used to hit, bite and scratch me 24/7 and were just not nice at all). The parents turned on me so quickly when I finally stood up for myself and had no compassion at all when they threw me out on the street, refusing to pay the wages I had already earned. NEVER au pair - the risk is not worth it. I thought that bad experiences would be few and far between, but I really think that they're more common than good ones. Steer clear and save yourself the anguish! x
My Au Pair Experience: France - horrific - actual psychopaths - I escaped in the middle of the night on a Fri night and fled the country (they were friend's with the then president and the gendarme came looking for me, eventually I got an official pardon from the Gov mailed home to my UK address!!) Germany with Irish family - pretty awful, horrendeous people. Germany with German family - fair, stable, serious and bountiful of positive experience. Italy with Italian family (OK at this point I've been to college and I'm now a nanny so not really au pair) Perfect family, could not wish for more. Market is now flooded with cheap labour and middle-classed wannabe families who are really looking for someone to clean and baby sit.
My friend did an au pair experience in London although the I dunno can it be classed as one really cos it was just London but it was a horrible experience for her. The family were disgusting and had a superior snobbish sense to them.... She was told she could have Sunday's off and Monday evenings and that most days she would get time to herself. She slept in a tiny bedroom(was told she would have a double room with en suite) was expected to cook clean and look after children 24/7. Was paid shockingly bad sometimes they wouldn't even pay her, they expected her to buy her own food (was told they would provide food and so on) was expected to take children were ever they wanted when they wanted. Did not have Sunday's off. They also treated her bad emotionally and would ridicule her eventually she couldn't take it and transferred to another family who weren't from England and they were much nicer to her they were like Austrian or something and she was treated fantastically with them :)
The definition of Au Pair and Nanny are historically one thing, and presently depend upon where in the world you are. The legalities vary from country to country and depending on which side of the Atlantic you are may almost be an inverse description of the other. And of course some agencies vary in their stipulations. The context in which I worked, all live-in/accommodation provided positions: Au pair - no training - weekly wages, bills, insurance and food covered Au pair plus - years of experience and/or training. weekly wages, bills, insurance, travel, food, travel expenses Nanny - college educated(specifically childcare and education), years of experience & training. - annual salary, all living expenses, accommodation, vacation time, bonuses, transport & associated expenses, etc. (Where I live now, a 'Nanny' is merely a casual baby-sitter). Of course there are various levels of each position and wages are specific to each family's needs. It is also possible to go from school to Nanny College...though this was not an opportunity open to me. The economic crunch has changed this industry a great deal since I was in it.
I reported my similarly awful family, was ignored by my agency (almondbury au pair) who a year later wrote me a scathing email. The family were friends with the president of the country so I'd fled to Germany in the night, there was a full investigation and the ministry of labour latterly sent me a letter stating the findings of the criminal investigation were that I had not committed any crime and listed all these false allegations!! Some witnesses came forward to vouch for me, and I was now welcome in France again!! The whole letter was CC'd to the couple and must[should have] have been quite embarrassing for them to read.
I'm sorry, the more I hear about this AuPair deal the more I am put off. I don't necessarily desire to subject myself to any of these people to be treated like a slave in a foreign country. That would just destroy the experience for me personally. Traveling, and seeing these beautiful countries only to be working most of the time babysitting. Sounds awful. I love children, don't get me wrong but I can't attribute traveling and babysitting children while taking orders from strangers attractive.
Hello Elle, i work as an aupair in Norway right now, i feeling same you.... i want to have privet space and do whatever and do what i like in my day off.... but my host family, she nock my door can called me to cooking and help her because she said ... i'm the one part of her family and i ate with her family also just help her cooking, so my contract i should work 5 hrs but i work 8-9+ hrs per day and hostmom she said to me for reading, do homework, activities with the kids is not job that is family activities , i cant count hour work for that..... now i looking for new family ....... awful for me
Oh - and you made me feel not so self-conscious about being a bit of an 'introvert'. I, like you, must have A LOT of alone time. It always amazes me how some people can be around others constantly. Too long without being alone, in my own space, and my energy gets drained. Even with family, whether an informal visit to my home or at holiday time, I have to pop into my office, periodically, to just be alone & quiet for a few moments, before rejoining the others downstairs.
+Tara Adams it's not just about wanting to be alone. remember that an au pair is not part of the family and although a good host family will want you to be part of their family you still want your free time away from work because sometimes you need a break from them. as an au pair you do everything they don't want to do - you deal with the negative aspects of parenting, the household chores, etc. it's a lot of work and you most certainly need a break from all that even if it means just sitting in your room alone
What one has to understand is that as an au pair you are entirely into the hands of a family. Even if you have a contract, it is not going to help you as you are not going to take them to court for not respecting the terms of the contrac and they know it. As a foreigner working as an au pair you have no protection under the law of the country. The best is to leave immediately if you feel that you are being abused.
Thank you for the video, I had a very bad experience with the family I chose too. I didn't take the necessary time to know them before because I really wanted to meet the States and I had such an awful experiencie that I regret travelled there in the first time. I even start to think I didn't like the States because of this family. They were so rude. But now I'm over it but I know that I would never work as an au pair again. I love to travel but living in other people's house with their stupid rules and crazyness , nevermore. Thank you for sharing this with us :) the best for you
I'm glad you were able to finally tell your employer that you'd had enough and I am ALSO glad you had somewhere to go after she threw you out of her home on the spot (how inhumane...terrible). I hope all is well for you in New Zealand. There is no place more beautiful in the world! Good luck, Elle, in all that you do. Great video.
I kinda feel same at the moment ! Like there was at first everything nice and lovley, but later it was just adding more jobs to me, so even if kids are in school, she will wrote me a quote what should i do..and it was a milion times where I wanted to quit but no, becouse I wanted to go to prove my parents i can take it .. And i was free for five days, go in closest city and saw my brothe, and they were sending me msgs asking when im commimg back, and when i come back they just lied me in face like we dont need you more... And on my free time she always eat and let plate like that, or dish mashine open, or chlotes everywhere, she even wrote me a msgs to clean sink in their bathroom... Some ppl just dont understand au pair what is ... If you ever decide to do it again good luck and talk witg them more and more.. I'll go home soon, get rest like biiig sleep and have som fun with my parents and again work.. its just one bad family.. wissh u luck :) Btw love the color of your eyes :) *.*
Eliizza Radke Yes, I totally understand, this happens ALL the time, sometimes people just start taking advantage. Hope everything is working out for you now!
OMG I was in USA and I was an au pair too, and I had a TERRIBLE time with my 2 families was really difficult, like you they wanted me to work in my free time :( I want to be an au pair in Germany now but I do not know if it will work out, I am scare to get a bad family again, you was an au pair just in Italy?
I know this seems to be something that women traditionally do but I am considering it. I was just curious what your experience, or anyone else who has done this, has been with being in a country where you don't speak the language. Especially in the case where you had to leave the first family and figure out what to do next. Thanks for the video.
Me too... I was technically fired from my au pair job in Italy, milan. I'm 19 and the reason was because I didn't communicate enough? I did try hard but ughhh
Hi Elle, I am looking at Au Pairing in Italy at the moment and am having confusions with the visa, would you mind chatting so I can see what visa you used? I am from NZ too
kom951 Hi! I entered on a tourist visa and then I signed up to Italian classes, applied for a student visa and residence permit. I'd be happy to help you the best I can!
