My Bad Japanese Homestay Experience 

Sorry to hear about this Bethany - it's a completely believable story, if not a fine example of bad luck (and racism). Most Japanese people I know who would have seen your visible allergic reaction would have panicked and worried about you all day - even taken you to a local clinic - as opposed to have just ignored it and expected you to continue eating their bowls of pain and suffering the following day. Then again, this doesn't sound like your regular family. It's unfortunate you were stuck with these idiots. And if I ever heard someone refer to the UK as the land of the selfish, I would have gone absolutely ballistic, so well done on holding back.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience :( Man I would have started crying by the time the guy on the phone was a jerk too!!

I can't even begin to fathom how they would think having an allergy is selfish. And how does anyone discover they have an allergy to something? By being exposed to it and getting a reaction. If you've never been exposed to it then you wouldn't know. Isn't this common sense? I'm just so shocked by how they treated you! I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that. :( I'm glad you had a much better experience at the next place, though!

WOW! Go back to the land of the selfish!?. I didn´t know that having an allergy was selfish.

It's so hard for people who have never traveled to understand how emotionally difficult it can be to live with a host family. The food is different, the beds are different, the bathroom is different, the toilet doesn't flush the same way, meal times are different, table manners are different, and of course you have to negotiate all with the limited vocabulary of a two year old. It's emotionally draining, so the smallest weird thing can throw a wrench in your day. I remember being at a formal family dinner and I was served crawfish with all the eyes, antennae and legs still attached. I had never eaten anything more exotic than shrimp cocktail back in the US. Since I was stressed out, I didn't think to watch what other people were doing with their crawfish.(It turns out they were removing all the inedible parts with a knife and fork.) I just picked the whole thing up on a fork, legs and all, and told myself, "you have to eat this because it would be rude and picky not to". I moved the dead, leggy creature towards my mouth, but then I put it down and ran to hide in the kitchen. My host family couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Why would I cry over crawfish? Even after I explained how disgusted I was by the legs and eyes, they still didn't really understand why I was crying. Luckily they were sweet and gently teased me later about my squeamishness. It was embarrassing, though, because at every meal after that my host mother would ask me, in a tone you would use with a five-year-old, "Can you eat this?" before she would serve it to me.

My experience is not from Japan but from Korea but I experienced similar thing too. I was volunteer working in Korea and I had major allergic reaction to soy sauce they mainly use in korea. I basically got a horrible rash and my body was itchy all over and full of red spots. My host acted like it was the most difficult thing to do when I asked for them to write menu for me and what are the ingredients. And they always kept saying "why won't you eat this, you eat so little"... it was because they didn't get me any other food, if they had put soy sauce in the dinner I had to get snacks and eat after dinner on my own. And most of the time they acted like I was really rude and disrespectful when I didn't eat their food... but I didn't want to make my allergic reaction worse =_= So I totally understand you and how unfair that feels!

It definitely sounds like you were very unlucky with your host family! If they decide to take you on as a guest then they have the responsibility to look after you properly, which includes good communication and meals that are good for your health. I know Asian families can be a bit judgmental about picky eaters, but allergies is definitely another story and we would never insult our guests in their face! In many Asian cultures there is a saying that how you treat your guests reflects on yourself. We were all taught how to look after house guests from when we were little. So sorry you had to go through all this!

As a person with a life threatening peanut allergy i understand how hard it is and frustrating it is to have an allergy. I constantly have to turn down food with peanuts or that might have peanuts. It was very rude of them to treat you that way.

Um...no decent person could be on the family's or company's side. You are so polite and well-mannered, and the people you met at first (including the person at the company) were completely selfish and just horrible people. And I think that guy was racist. Definitely, there are racists all over, including in Japan. I bet they think of a "homestay" as a business...probably getting paid to angrily house "guests". I am glad that you got to a better place.

I was half expecting some rant about cultural differences and such, but wow - they were really cruel and unreasonable towards you. I've both lived in Asia and stayed with host families a lot of times and I've never had anything even remotely as unreasonable happen to me. Please don't let this discourage you from giving another host family a try in the future!

"Oh no, I'm sure he wasn't racist." Which is funny because that's probably exactly what he was. Xenophobia tends to happen when your country is 99% homogenous.

Allergies can get deadly, quick. It wasn't your fault.

Japanese take themselves way too seriously. In my family, ignoring someone the way they did with you warrants a thorough beatdown and accommodating someone's personal eating preferences is practically sacred. It's how we show respect for others.

I've been both an international student and more recently a host, and I can't get over how awful that family was to you. It's already so awkward and disorienting to be in another country with minimal command of the language (no matter how prepared you think you are, you're not), you don't need an unhelpful and even antagonistic host family on top of that. You look to them to be your replacement family for the time you're with them, and it's sad when they don't think the same way about you. Also, it's embarrassing to get negative reactions for cultural differences, rather than a simple, "We don't do that here," or, "That behavior is actually considered rude in this culture" (to which you can say a simple, "Oh, thanks! Sorry!"). When we hosted, we tried to make foods we knew our students would like, even though we didn't completely change our diet. When we had a Korean student, we regularly drove into the city to a Korean store so we could buy Kimchi and snacks she was used to. One student loved instant coffee, so we always had some in the house for her, though none of us drank it. When we had a student who didn't eat pork, we went a year without pork unless she was out of the house (we knew in advance that she didn't eat it, since it was on her profile). When they used English wrong, we would just say something like, "Actually, a better way to say that would be..." That's just common consideration, the world over. Your experience should have been so much better, and I'm sorry it turned out the way it did.

Their handling of you was wrong, yes. But Japanese do many things we in the West would consider childish, passive-aggressive or even basically dishonest to avoid insulting each other. I'm thinking they would have expected you to never directly tell them their cooking had given you an allergy, to seek medical attention on your own and then make polite excuses for not eating their food such as, "I'll be eating at a friend's house tonight. I'm sorry I won't be here." (With a big smile on your face.) or even to claim you were going to a tourist destination, leaving them to figure out alone that their food had made you unwell and that you were self-sacrificially avoiding hurting their feelings or showing ingratitude, and then finding somewhere you could eat something cheap. Yes, it is the one aspect of Japanese culture I find impossible to accommodate, specifically because this ultra-sensitive, ultra-insecure mindset leaves no room for life-threatening situations like yours. I even heard of one school that asked a family to hide the fact that their son had literally committed suicide because of school yard bullying. They were worried it would hurt their reputation.

from the video and the way you talk a can tell that you are a nice person, i'm sorry for your bad experience, but you know there is all kind of people in all kind of places so don't worry your self about it, it'a not you fault, it's just life, stay nice and polite and fine people you will find, good luck.

I don't understand why a family with no sense of hospitality would offer to take in someone for homestay. Poor you :(

I feel so bad for you. Seems like you are trying to hold back tears during the entire video. Don't worry about those people! Just bad luck - that's all.

I just love the honesty in your face. Seems like you still feel awkward about the whole situation. I am glad it all worked out for you.

Dear God! I'm almost crying just listening to this! You poor kid!! We had foreign students stay with us (one from Portugal, one from Germany) and cannot IMAGINE a host family treating a child so cruelly! I am tempted to be vulgar and mean spirited here so just let me say, please don't lose heart. Such experiences make us stronger and more confident. You sound like a person who is healing. Keep up the good work!

Oh yikes! I did a home stay in Japan in HS and I had a TERRIBLE program. Lessons were useless, terrible teachers but the home stay family I had made the trip worth every penny. It was amazing. I'm so sorry that you had such a terrible experience. You didn't do a thing wrong, it just sounds like you got really unlucky. I hope you will try again if you have the chance thought!

I am definitely on your side. It only makes sense one could have allergies for foods they never knew of because they've never eaten it, and your host family should've been more understanding about it. Their behaviour in general, the fact they'd ignore you when you spoke to them and will treat you the way you did, it's a whole different story but still quite rude of them. In my country, we do have some specific types of food which are known to sometimes cause allergic responses in foreigners, to Swedes in particular, and it is a common thing to ask foreigners "are you allergic to anything?" or even just tell them straight that this food could cause an allergy and so they should probably not try it just to go on the safe side. Maybe in Japan they aren't aware that some foods can cause allergies, still your host family should've at least told you, what you were eating the other day, instead of just kicking you out so rudely. No one should be treated the way you were treated there, that's quite a shame.

I have heard from a source that in Japan, it is considered rather rude to decline food that someone has made for you, although, I think having an allergy is an excuse to declining food, and they shouldn't have reacted the way they did. I have plans for the future, I want a homestay family in Japan, but I have two main concerns: I am incredibly shy. So shy that it hurts. As a little girl, I wanted to make friends with people, but I would cry because I was so afraid. So shy, that I freeze up when a teacher calls on me. It would be hard, especially since I'd be communicating in a language that is actually one of the hardest for English speakers to learn. I know some, but it would be difficult for me, I think. How scary! My second concern is that my homestay family will not be nice to me. The last thing I want is a family that won't accept me or treat me with kindness, and combining with the first concern, a mean family will be worse for my shyness than a nice one. I wouldn't want to talk in fear that I'd get something wrong, at least with a nice and accepting family, at least I know that there would be a possibility that they would help me, although a mean family might not do that. I am not worried about food. I will eat anything, (besides couscous and cottage cheese) and I don't have allergies. I am an unstoppable eater!

I'm commenting on the one who commented that this is typical in Japan. That they have might of perceived her comment as an insult! Are you crazy she just had a caption on her vlog stating she had someone explain to the family that it was an allergy not an insult. That family was horrible to her . They're behaviour should have taking their rights away to be a host family. I'm so sorry that happen to you. This is not the first horror story I've heard either!!!

(Long comment, but my crazy story is worth the read) A lot of these company do it just for the money, and when there is a problem, they don't support you at all, quite the contrary actually. I've had three Japanese host families in Japan. The first one was good, the second horrible, and the third one was great. I used to go to a Japanese language school for francophones (I'm French) in Shibuya during my summer holiday, and just like you, I wanted a host family to really experience Japanese life and culture. I went one year, and everything went well with the host family, so the following year I decided to go back to the same school and was placed in a host family in Kagurazaka. I was happy when I found out because it's in a very good spot near my school (my previous host family was one hour away from the school by train). The family consisted of just one old lady. Her husband had died, and her son lived in the countryside, so she was alone. Her appartment was filthy. When I arrived in my room, it was not clean at all. A girl had been homestaying there for 6 months before me, and it looked like the old lady had not bothered cleaning. I found used Q-tips and used piercings in a drawer, the trash can was not emptied, the bed looked like somebody had been sleeping in it, the bathroom was filthy, so was the kitchen, she had mold in her fridge, etc. I was shocked because the school I was attending has a very good reputation, and they usually check the host families beforehand, but I later learned that they had not checked her in 6 years, and in the meantime her husband had died, and I suppose she let herself go. I didn't want to cause any trouble, she was an old lady without anyone else, and she was also very sweet with me, so I stayed there anyway (at first). She asked me to help her clean, and I thought "okay, this is an old lady, she has noone else, i'm going to help her." I thought she wanted me to just participate a bit, like doing my own dishes, cleaning my own room, hoovering around, because that would be normal, but no, she wanted me to clean her whole appartment. She also didn't give me enough food. She was always talking about her unmarried 40 year old son, telling me how she would like to find a good woman for him and everything. She asked me if I liked Japanese men, and I told her that I had a Japanese boyfriend. It started to be a bit weird. I thought: "Japanese families generally want only Japanese people to marry their children, especially for their son, so she can't possibly be hinting at what I think she is." Then after a week of staying there, she told me that she was going to go visit her son in the countryside, and she wanted me to go with her. I told her that I couldn't because I had my Japanese classes and activities already paid for at school. She said that I could miss them for just a week, that her son had a big old Japanese style house, and that it would be good for me to see it. She told me that I would like her son and his house. I told her that my school was pretty expensive and I had worked to pay for my Japanese trip, so I didn't want to miss any classes. She got really offended. She complained that the previous girl who stayed with her had also refused to go to the countryside with her. She got pushy, but I still refused. She ended up going without me for a week, leaving me alone in her appartment. Keep in mind that I had paid to have a host family for a month, that I had paid to have breakfasts and dinners at home, but she was taking a week off just like that. She told me "I'll just leave you food in the fridge, you can take it." She left me the equivalent of four meals for an entire week. I started to get really pissed because I had to buy food, and I was basically paying her to go on vacation and to be her maid. While she was gone, we had two typhoons and two earthquakes, and I freaked out because I was alone. I told my school about it and they said that it was no big deal, that they didn't have any other families, and that it was better for me to stay there. They also didn't believe me when I told them that the appartment was filthy and that I had to clean it. After arguing for a bit, they said that they would find me another family but I had to wait for a week. Then on the third evening, I take a shower and go to my room. It was about 10pm, I was on the phone with my Japanese boyfriend, and I wasn't wearing much because hot summer night+alone in an appartment+just took a shower. The whole appartment was dark except for my room, and the door of my room is made of an opac piece of glass. That's when I hear someone entering the front door of the appartment with their key. I didn't expect anyone. The mother and the son are supposed to be in the countryside (2 hours away), and the husband is dead, so I thought "Well, they have a key, so it must be a neighbor who came to water the plants or something, even if it's weird to do it at 10pm." I tried to not freak out by talking with my boyfriend on the phone, and I told him that somebody was inside. I saw the lights of the living room being switched on, and the silhouette of a guy going to the kitchen. That person could see the light in my bedroom. After a minute, he knocked on my door. I didn't answer and I quickly took my bathrobe to cover myself. He knocked again and he entered without my permission. He inroduced himself and it turns out that it was the 40 year old son. He told me that he was worried about me and that his mom was sad that I couldn't come with her, so he thought he would check on me. Right, like they couldn't give me a call or something. Anyway, I was so scared that I didn't speak a word to him the whole time, I just kept talking to my boyfriend in French on the phone (he studied in France) while staring at him. The guy understood that he was creeping me out (and he really was, I didn't like the way he looked at me from top to bottom when I was just in a bathrobe). The whole time my boyfriend was telling me that he was calling the police, but I told him: "To say what? That the son introduced himself in the house with his own key and that he talked to me?" The guy then said that he was going back home, that he was just checking. The next morning, I tell the school what happened, and they still say that it's no big deal, that they found another family for me, but that I still have to wait for the end of the week. Meanwhile, there was another guy at my school who was also asking for a change of host family because he had had leucemia, his immune system was still pretty weak and he needed to be in a clean environment, which his host family's house wasn't. He told me that the house where he was staying was very dirty, and that the school had found him a new family. I said: "Oh, really? So where are you going to stay?" He told me that it was going to be in Kagurazaka. That's when I found out that the school was going to send him to my host family, even if I just told them that the lady was not clean, and that they could endanger his health. I told him that he could not go there, and he went to speak to the headmaster of the school. I'm going to spare you all the details because this comment is already super long, but we both ended up in the same host family after that, and the headmaster is a total cunt (if you'll excuse my French). That third host family was really great, but we never got any apologies from the school. On the contrary, the headmaster called me a liar several times.

Wow, that sounds so traumatic! I'm sorry that happened to you. It must have been a sweet relief to get to the nice little community at the hotel. Also, your attitude is really good - you went on to appreciate and enjoy the people and culture of Japan. :)

I'm on your side. I've been in the medical field for 30+ yrs. People can develop allergies in no time. even with food they Eaten for years and never had a problem with. That this family wasn't empathetic to that ...... Hope they never have a relative in a Foreign country have this happen to them. I also would alert potential students to this company. so they can avoid it and go with another company

Ohh she's super beautiful and polite! ❤️ but yeah those were really bad homestay parents! I hope you had a great time in japan afterwards!

Lol there are indeed assholes in every country. I'm assuming they get paid for letting you stay. A lot of families do that for the money but they really don't want people in their home.

I think they treated you horribly and saying 'it's their culture' is ridiculous to say no matter what country you're in. They should've got you medical help as soon as they saw you were having an allergic reaction! You could've died dear girl. They need to do a better job screening the host families and training them to deal properly with medical concerns with their guests & not getting offended where there was no offense to be had. You're a very lovely young girl and I'd have been exceedingly happy to have been your host if I could have been in their situation. I hope you're doing okay and that you discovered what you're actually allergic to. I have to keep an epi pen with me because I'm highly allergic to bee stings and they almost killed me once. You might want to check into getting one as well and carry it in your purse.

I had sort of the same problem with my 3rd host family. When I arrived at my new host family (it was normal to have 4 or 5 host families while on my year abroad since alot of the families didn't want to have the responsibility for a whole year),I got to my 3rd host family, I heard the one daughter just came back from a year abroad in Ireland. I got excited thinking "Someone who knows what it feels like to be away from your family for so long!" But the minute I got there my host family was really rude to me, my host sister locked herself in her room and didn't talk to me, I was getting in trouble for the smallest things. Where I ended up spending a whole month when not in school, taking the train and just leaving for the day because I couldn't stand being around them. One day my host dad came up to me and said that "Because I am the man of the house, you must listen to my rules!" And was super rude. Wouldn't let me eat during the day when I was home alone because it was HIS food, trying to buy my own snakes he got super up tight about it and wouldn't let me have them. I got really frustrated and upset that I left my trip early .I Knew if I Tried to even talk to my program they would tell me it was my fault. Urg.... I was in Japan for 6 months and I still miss it everyday. I loved my second host family (They were a young couple with two kids, super nice).

Thats the bad thing about learning formal Japanese... Everyone else pretty much uses informal! Lol. Except my Japanese teacher, all of my pen pals would be like, "Why speak such formal Japanese?! We're friends!" And i would always say "Thats all i learned." And they were really confused? All of my pen pals thought the classes would teach formal and informal Japanese.

Waaah, poor you! I think I would have cried if something like this happened to me at a foreign country.That idiotic family!

This is horrible. I stayed with a Japanese family in 2007 and had issues as well. They blamed me for things I didn't understand culturally when I never claimed to know everything about the Japanese culture. I think they might have expected that I would have because I am a quarter Japanese, but I never claimed knowledge. It was my first time ever outside the US, and I was only just turned 19. The saddest thing is I knew their daughter personally because she was an exchange student at my high school in the US. She actually had issues with her American host family (!!) and I'd helped her out a lot, but she never even defended me against things her family was saying against me. I was there a very long 5 weeks. I still had a nice experience outside of their home, but they did dampen the experience. You'd like to think people who work with others from an international community would be understanding and open minded, but sadly it's not always the case. I stayed with a couple of families in Korea as well and was always extremely welcome and understood (my absolutely wonderful in-laws are Korean, so I have family in Korea now). Of course not every Japanese family is like the one you or I stayed with, in fact I've never had anything but good experiences with people in Japan besides this family, but it's not the first time I've heard of similar stories here on RU-vid.

I can't believe people are blaming you for not knowing you were allergic to something you didn't even know existed until that moment. SMH. Please don't let these crazy comments get to you. You did NOTHING wrong. Some people just want to be mean on social media. I'm glad you were okay and didn't end up in the hospital. Hopefully your experiences will be better in the future. :)

When I visited Japan nearly 8 years ago now, I made the mistake of removing my black Ugg boot with stark white tube socks underneath [they became fuzzy from the boot] on the subway to itch an insatiable itch on the bottom of my foot. Don't do that. Ever. Ever. Ever. Oops. Also, one of the first times my dad visited Japan [he goes several times a year for work] he left a nice tip for a waiter at a restaurant he ate at. Don't do that, either. He chased him down 3 blocks to return the money and gave him quite an earful. Moral of the story, different culture=different customs.

Holy shit. That Japanese family must have been EVIl. Otherwise, they wouldn't behave like that.

I'm Japanese. I feel so sorry for you and I think the host family is so rude. I hope you are going to enjoy rest of your time in Japan.

As a Japanese person, I feel really bad for her. I'm really sorry. I watched your video in one class today, and we discussed your experience. Some said (well, many) you should've checked what kinda food there are in Japan before you came here. And yeah, you could've done that, but even if you had done that, you could have never known that you were allergic to the food. I swear, Japanese people are nice. I can say that. But it seems there are some idiots. I'm really sorry.

I used to be interested in learning Japanese and going over one day since i love anime and Japanese food and am interested in the culture and history, but my American friend went for 6 months and hated it. She is very fluent in Japanese and spent years learning the language but she told me that a lot people she met wanted to take pictures of her for the novelty of being white and that most people (especially older people) didn't like foreigners and an old man just came up to her and told her to go home.

I lived in Japan for 5 years and they know damn well when they're being kind or rude just like the rest of us, even if they have other cultural quirks. I love the Japanese to pieces and would go there again in a heart beat but that first family was rude and wrong for treating you like that. In Japan they grow up learning to be hospitable and understanding to guests. That was a bad family and I would have pushed it further because they will get other students and treat them the same now. But it's not your responsibility to do so, it's just what I would have don't. ***I am on your side on this*** You didn't do anything wrong and I can believe you tried to be as polite as possible as you seem to project a very nice personality even speaking normally on RU-vid just stick up for yourself better like when that organizer bad mouthed you as if you were some snob or something.

I'm sorry for your experience :( From their point of view, perhaps it's not realized that food allergies and dietary restrictions aren't such a common thing in East Asia, so you refusing the food was probably assumed as you just not wanting it, which would be a very rude gesture. However, they handled the situation very poorly and didn't even try to understand you or see things from your perspective. Clearly they weren't interested in sharing their culture or learning about yours. They were probably only doing homestay for the money!

This scares me so much because my main concern of doing study abroad in Japan is that I'm allergic to shellfish! D: So sorry you had to go through this, sounds like a horrible experience, but I'm glad you were able to leave and make your own food, knowing it was safe for you!

"You should have told us about this allergy that you didn't know you had!" I can't even fathom what was going through their heads omvk!

That's SOOOO sad omg! I heard that Japan didn't even understand the concept of allergies for awhile but either way they sounded terribly rude. I would've probably just started crying and made them feel bad (if they even do ever feel bad)

You're so cute and kind, I'm on your side. What the family did was extremely insensitive and rude, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But I'm glad at the end you were moved and had a good time xx

This angered me beyond belief. I can't stand when people choose to not think and understand and that god damn guy on the phone.. I literally have no words to express how I feel about what happened. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! I really do hope that any more trips abroad you take are extremely better with more loving and understanding hosts!

Host families volunteer and are PAID to host foreign students!! It is their JOB to make you comfortable during your stay. This family was rude and did not deserve to be a host family at all. I can't beilieve they would ruin such a special experience for you, how often does one travel across the world in their lifetime?? These people are stuck up and spoiled to ignore you and treat you like that.

That sounds absolutely terrible! I'm so sorry this has happened to you! What made me extremely irritated was when you said that the guy in charge of the homestays also didn't back you up and said those racist remarks.

you are very nice girl,soft spoken and full of manners,thank god you finally found a good place to stay,being a foreigner in a foreign country can be very tough especially when you're alone,stay strong! ps : i've been to tokyo last march,by far best city i ever visit.

Awe! You look on the verge of tears! I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounds like a huge break down of communication. But it also sounds like the family was not even trying to be understanding! It's weird that they would volenteer to host.

Oh this is so horrible you must be sweetly tempered dear I know if anyone talked down to me like that the last thing they would have seen would have been my jack ring. Like really how can someone be so rude and unsympathetic especially when dealing with teens and younger people who don't know the language.

About your experience, I'm a bit shocked, because Japanese tend to be very caring about people they invite to their home up to a level of patronising. When I got a stomach inflammation when I stayed at a family (that was about 20 years ago, though) they drove me right to the hospital and were super worried and even apologised thinking it could have been their food (which it wasn't). So I think you just ended up staying with weird folks. Happens. (BTW I've been living and working in Japan for 18 years now).

PS-you are obviously a lovely young lady. I'm on your side because I can just tell you were probably very polite and apologetic.

I'm so sorry you had this experience. I was in South Korea, teaching, when I fell ill to kidney stones. I was told I was selfish (for selling medical help, getting surgery), that I should think of the kids, that I only came to South Korea so I could have the surgery cheaper (I'm Canadian, I wouldn't have paid for the surgery at all in Canada, but the American coworker had explained to them about no job = no insurance = expensive surgeries in the USA; lol bizarrely enough he was on their side). I was told to "stop eating poorly" because that was the cause of it, (it's not). They assumed that because what they've stereotyped about Americans must be true for Canadians as well (honestly my American coworker ate way more McDonald's and such than I ever did). No amount of arguing or explaining could change their minds about their stereotypes. So while I'm really sorry you went through this I'm not entirely shocked that it still happens, or that the aide on the phone sided with them. Just terrible really. Glad that you met some nice, understanding people!

Im sorry that happened to you. Japanese is gorgeous and most of the ppl there are amazing. I hope you wont let this experience spoil your impression of this wonderful country.

wow... im japanese and i live in japan (i used to live in england!), and whenever i hear stories like this i always start to wish that my family couldve taken in the person instead somehow like i feel weirdly responsible and i apologize on behalf of the family :( i feel really bad for you and im sorry that happened but im glad you enjoyed the rest of your trip!!

One thing I can say, is that there will be stupid and rude people everywhere in the world. I did have a so-so experience with my homestay in Spain but I managed to make it an incredible experience and it forced me to practice the language even more. So my homestay "mother" was much better in the end. I like the fact that you said that it isn't like this everywhere, because you're right. It's an unfortunate experience but I think it probably made you stronger. I do hope you might want to experience this again and try with a different family, because most Japanese people are awesome!! :)

It's a shame this video is already a year old and that you're likely out of japan already. I would have insisted that the university bring this homestay manager into talk with you and the dean at the same time and i would have absolutely demanded a professional translator there so you could make sure everybody understood what was going on. being treated like this over an allergy is wholly unacceptable. i had a VERY similar experience with an allergic reaction at a getemono bar with a bee infused liquor that landed me in hospital. I was almost kicked out of my uni because i shouldn't have drank this liquid knowing i have a grave bee allergy. I had to demand a translator be brought in to explain to them that i had no idea what the liquid was and that i hadn't done it purposefully or to miss school. It was a nightmare and i can totally relate.

I really love the way you presented this situation! I've watched so many videos where foreign exchange students have just acted as if their family was evil or something, but you really presented this as the misunderstanding it is and I think that's a really good way of doing it. The other thing is a lot of foreign exchange students complain about things their family does (like curfews, etc.) when really it's just the culture and the thing they're complaining about is the very thing they should be embracing. Thanks for making it clear that they're not evil people, and presenting the situation in the manner that you did. It's very refreshing to finally discover somebody who doesn't think everyone different to them is horrible.

I'm on your side. How could you've possibly known that you were allergic to something that you didn't know it existed in the first place? Hope you had a better time afterwards thought! :D

Definitely on your side. I nearly flipped my lid hearing "go back to the land of the selfish people".

I don't know how I came across this video, but you're super sweet! and I'm sorry you had to go through that :( You're so positive about it though, I'm glad it was a good ending!

Dear.. you deserve an award for maturity and patience. Even after that horrid experience you recounted the story without a hint of bitterness. Most (including myself) would have probably exploded at some point surely, if not at the time of the blatant disrespect AT LEAST while retelling the story as you just did! I'm so impressed at your positivity even after what you dealt with you. Hope you're doing well :3

I suppose the family gets money for let you stay, so it seems they only cared about the money. It is sad, really. At least it was only for three days. And yes, it seems that guy was a racist, that are ugly things to say to someone! I feel sorry for that kind of people. They don't try to meet other cultures and people, when it is really fascinating! I myself moved to other country and discovered how much can you learn from others, and other cultures. That makes you rich. I am glad you had a wonderful stay at the end :)

Your health is more important than their "views" on your behavior.

I know this is an old video by now, but... I'm so impressed by the way in which you were able to talk about this. Your voice, your whole attitude. It's really impressive.

The responses are funny Bef! You are such a nice person and people from all parts of the world are stepping on your niceness. Japanese people can be cruel and cold.... even to their own family members. Some of these people should not be hosting students. Good luck and hope your confidence is back up to par. :)

There's nothing else you could have possibly done, the situation was NOT your fault in the slightest. I could see the family being upset and flustered because they don't understand what you're saying and may assume something bad (though their rudeness before is 100% their fault) but the representative...what a psycho!

Sometimes allergies just show up, I didn't find out about mine until I was 20... :O

Very sorry to hear your terrible homestay experience! I don't think you deserved that. Glad to hear it worked out in the end, although that family was quite rude and inconsiderate. But good luck to you and thanks for sharing your interesting experience.

I am terribly sorry for anyone who had been in situations like this. I worked at this Japanese restaurant and heard a story about a former worker that experienced the same type of situation. She cannot consume food with MSG (it can possibly kill her), and our Japanese boss didn't seem to understand the concept of allergy. So he told her to get used to it.

Awww I feel so bad for you. You handled the situation well though. If they started yelling at me I would've burst into tears at the dinner table =(

I saw some comments down there and I think they're really rude. You had a bad experience and that family was not nice and understanding in any way, literally. I know Japanese people can be very distant to foreigners, I've seen that myself. But those people usually don't want contact to foreigners and certainly wouldn't offer as a host family. So your case is rare, like you said, the other families seemed to be okay. And ignoring someone is rude, not only in the western world. I think it's amazing how you tried to deal with the situation. Please don't listen and answer too much to the trolls and rude people, it's not your fault and the majority knows that. If they can't even be nice on the internet, how would they have dealt with an experience like yours.

oh I'm so sorry all that happened to you.. that really kills the vibe of travel and stuff for you I expect but don't let them get you down in the dumps- there are mean people everywhere but Im glad the kind all stay and Im glad you decided to stay mature about it- you're not selfish at all like what the heck. They didn't want to help you and you stayed so strong. Never believe those guys. You're amazingly sweet

You are very sweet! I am so sorry that happened to you! I am very glad you found kind people that understood you.

When I did my homestay in Niigata, Japan luckily it was only for a weekend for the people at our school who all lived in Dorms. But that weekend we all went to our homestay house in Niigata it was during the snowy season, and Japanese houses are so fricken freezing and I only stayed one night and then a girl I was dating picked me up and we went to Sado Island instead. But everyone came back to the school and the teachers said how was it, and all anyone could say is it was so freezing and these were people who came from Southern Illinois where it gets cold, but I'm from Southern California and I've never lived in Snow and it was like living outside how cold the houses were. But now I live in a Japanese house and I can't stand winter which is about 7 months of the year. It's so fricken crazy that the houses don't have central healing and the insulation in the walls is non-existent. But I'm still friends with the family that I stayed with one night 11 years ago and we hang out all the time. So they are great but don't go during winter if you don't want to freeze to death.

1) Those people were jerks. They could have understood that you are allergic. 2) Your hair in this video is kawaii!

You did not deserve that. They were completely unreasonable, don't ever blame yourself for this. I'm so glad you found a nice place afterwards :)

I found this by accident randomly trawling through youtube. Just watching you talk is super calming! You're so happy and polite and absolutely adorable. You should consider having a career where you talk for a living.

This is actually so sad....So sorry for you,

I'm glad you're a very forgiving-type of person because I know I wouldn't have been able to stay as calm as you did if that was me xD

I'm so sorry for your experience :'( you shouldn't have had to go through this, you seem so sweet! I hope that people can realize that not everyone in Japan is extremely nice, and that many families can be traditionally strict or simply rude. I do understand that many foreigners take traditional customs as Japanese people being rude, but there are time when the hosts are just inconsiderate or irresponsible. I plan on traveling abroad for a year in uni and thanks to stories like yours I'll be more prepared on what to possibly expect (not from every family of course) and how to deal with it.

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I'm going to share this because homestay families need to be more aware of student needs. I think it'd be good to publish the name of the company who organized the homestay and the family. They need to be shut down, if the university wouldn't help, maybe word of mouth could. Definitely on your side as a future homestay provider in the US. Good on you too for getting back to Japan.

Horrible experience. Good on you for being able to get passed it and move to Japan. I would love to try living in Japan with my family but it's a very daunting task. I admire you.

they're paid to take care of u!they need to be fined!!!

Sorry to hear your homestay experience! I am also staying with the host family in India but they are the best people I have ever met. I have six more days to live with them which is so sad:(! There are thousands of bad people and good people around us. Do not assume every host family is like this from your one experience, don't give up and keep trying. One day, you will get best host family who respects you and understands you. Don't lose your confidence because of this. This is a lesson you learn from your experience, keep moving ahead with full confidence !!!

that sounds like a horrible experience, but im so happy for you it turned out ok! I was impressed by the little Japanese you spoke in the beginning!

Shame! I am totally on your side, it is horrible that you had to go through such a stressful experience. I am glad for you that it didn't ruin the whole trip. I think it was very brave of you to go to another country by yourself, I think I am around the same age as you and I know I wouldn't be able to. You seem really nice and I really like your videos so I am definitely subscribing!

I'm sorry about that. I say to you on behalf of Japanese, but I want you to know that these people are few people. Just that family was unpleasant. Japan has a lot of kinds of people and attractive things, so I want you to know more about Japan.

I'm on your side, I'm so sorry you had to suffer like that what a awful family! Very happy to hear you got to stay somewhere better in the end

Oh my gosh! I applaud you for keeping a level head throughout the ordeal, if it were me, I would have ripped into the guy berating me about how horrible I was. I wouldn't have hesitated to set the record straight. I am so sorry you had to go through it.

If England is the land of the selfish, I don't want to know what America is! Jkjk

It must be really frightening to be in that situation, you're really brave to have tried to socialize with people when you don't speak their language perfectly. It's funny how you told your story, I felt like i wanted to be next to you trying to help you to tell them about your allergy with pictures and google translator lol.

I listened to her say "it was a miss translation" while looking at the stuffed animal in the back and can not stop laughing, sorry you had this experience I wish you the best in life, this was not called for by the family or the exchange services.

wow they sound very rude. Them ignoring you and not taking your allergic reaction seriously is nothing short but horrible! Happy you had a better experience after you left!

Wow, I am really sorry to hear that...:(

Is there an evaluation on your side as a visitor? Your opinion (someone with direct experience from the family) should have some weight on whether or not the family should continue to be a partner in these homestay companies. This is pretty crucial since you are paying them and any negative experiences such as this would influence other potential 'customers' to back out. It's not good for business in the end and therefore, your opinion matters.

You seem like the sweetest person. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't like you! I honestly think there's a culture clash between Western countries and Japan. We've hosted three Japanese students over the last two summers because my daughter is learning Japanese. We thought it would be a great experience to have someone she could talk to over dinner and in the evenings. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Part of the problem was that their English wasn't very good but it was mostly just simply an unwillingness to talk and open up. They would only speak when spoken to and never try to initiate any conversation. I think in most Western cultures we're taught to try to engage with people but none of the three kids made much, if any effort, to try to speak. It got pretty frustrating pretty fast and honestly, by the end of it, we were actually happy they left!

I was once an exchange student in Kyoto and was supposed to stay at a host family for 3 months. I lasted for only 1 week. Apparently the host family hadn't given me the correct info of house rule etc. I was 20 years old by that time but I was treated like a kid. I had to eat dinner at home at 6 pm and if I was going out with friends I had to call the host mother and had to be home at latest 10 pm. The room I stayed in smelled of cigarettes because the mother smoked(which wasn't in the info when I applied for host family). I applied for a non smoking home due to my strong hay fever. The host family I stayed with was a divorced mother to a 10 year old daughter. The mother's ex husband was an Australian man, who was never home, so yeah of course the woman spoke fluently English and she didn't speak Japanese to me, even though I was told beforehand that they all would be speaking Japanese, so I could get better in Japanese. After 1 week I asked my school to get me a student apartment. It went very quick. After 1 day I got refund for the host family and I got a student apartment, thank god. Apparently the mother was used to host exchange students but her place was so so small it wasn't fit for 3 people at all. Due to the stay at that host family I had really bad experience and my point of view of host family in Japan is bad. I luckily studied bit Japanese before I went to Kyoto so didn't had any problems with contacts, getting around etc. My dad also had a colleague from his company partnership Mitsubishi Corporation so I had those contacts in case I would get lost in Japan. I had a pocket WiFi which my school gave and I had rented a mobile so people could get in touch with me(also international). Because of the bad experience of host family I don't wanna try that again ever. All host family get paid for having you stay at them so therefore I don't think 'all' think it thoroughly before they take in students and then they set their own house rules etc.because nobodies gonna check up on you because you got paid beforehand.