The dilemma is what is considered "smart" and what is considered "stupid" is up for interpretation because once upon a time it was smart to sacrifice your first born but now it's considered stupid also it's considered smart to burn fossil fuels now we are becoming to understand that it's stupid because it destroys our environment, as well as it was once considered smart to get married now it's stupid because it leads you to think you have the right to own someone else because you have shared yourself with someone physically and mentally which you don't. What conundrums humans put themselves through but that is the process of evolution essentially.
This was my favourite pod yet. Such lovely sentiments on friendship, falling outs, and not needing to award someone the forgiveness they want to relieve themselves. So so so good
Being gaslit is the worst thing because for the longest time you feel like you are in the wrong and so confused. Yet you still have your truth deep down that exists but nobody seems to even acknowledge it. I had the situation from my closest friend and it was painful.
Seems like your best friend is quick to latch onto someone else without thinking too much about it. Clingy people can go off the rails. I've seen people who go through such lengths to get another person's attention even if clearly it got them to their how breaking points later on.
my crazy girl trait is if i'm really feeling something and journaling isnt cutting it, i'll go on a walk kind of pretending to be on the phone but actually just recording voice notes about the situation and how it makes me feel like i'm having a conversation with myself. nice and cathartic
stop i do that too I've done that so much I ended up with a phone full of my life narrated in my own voce, literal hours worth. if anyone ever found that there was my life on a literal gold plat. ended up going through everything and deleting it all. now I just talk without recording lol
something about this video completely healed me. i went through something similar about 2-3 years ago and i was devastated. it was one of if not the hardest friendship breakup ive ever experienced. and its interesting because when you talk in this video, you describe every exact thought and feeling i was going through and shifting through my mind after being traumatized by something like that. you just put it all into words and i appreciated it sm.
People are such losers saying she takes too long to get to the story.. she is not here to give you tea. This is a podcast on feelings, selfworth and identity etc. NOT a gossip podcast. Wake up to yourself. “Taking forever to get to the story” SHES NOT HERE TO TELL YOU THE DETAILS ON WHAT HAPPENED WITH WHO.
I've had similar experiences to that and more than once too. I've started therapy this year and it feels like I have finally been able to cut those energy ties from the people who hurt me. In a way I feel reborn again. And I don't know why but I just wanted to share this. Therapy is really just that transformative if you keep up with it. My mind is blown by that hahaha
No idea who you are, but the things you spoke about are far from crazy. You had your own ‘universe’ or reality crushed and left you with desillusions because they wanted their own ego to be preserved. And didn’t mind your heart and feelings. The fact you pulled out with all the fears and unraveling what was true or not must’ve been extremely exhaustion. Pure respect for you and hope you are well. Nicely done woman, that’s some special mental strengths you got. Don’t let anyone take that away. Makes you special and makes you you. 👋🏾
you’re one of the people who’s the most deserving of having a platform. i found your channel at the time in my life that i needed it most. i so appreciate how spiritual, wise, and articulate you are. with your conscious views, you basically beat the matrix.
Im going to diary here because journaling doesn’t feel enough. I was with my girlfriend for almost two years in august. We met when I was 17 and I’m now 19. I literally built this girl up and encouraged her to be herself, get her haircut, love her body. I helped her though university, moving into her accommodation in Bolton and Manchester. I helped her with every little thing money food family problems. I was the one who sat with her when she cried, washed her in the shower when she couldn’t, we spent every waking moment together. She was my first everything. Every new years, every birthday, every day it was us. She made me feel like I was floating. We even went abroad together and she took care of me after a dangerous surgery. I was there every single football game, cold/hot/rainy. 2 precious years of everything. Sleeping next to each other, every part of London we explored together. I’m the only person to ever get close to her and see her Intimately. She cheated on me throughout May to July and lied to me. My soul and heart is shattered. She cheated multiple times with her ex of two months (they met 2 years prior and she said it ended toxicly). She lied to me even in my birthday. I feel used. Dead Inside. She wrote vows and bought an engagement ring for my birthday. She’s now on dating apps and talking to random girls and it’s only been a week. Calling them gorgeous when I’ve never been called that in two years. It’s mad how she was my whole world. Absolutely crazy how she did me so dirty. Even going as far as exposing my family problems to her friends and the girl and calling me ugly and flat. I even met up with her friends at a restaurant with her in June when I didn’t know, they smiled to my face. And knew it all. It’s cathartic. I’ve never felt my literal heart be shattered before.
I'm so sorry love. I promise it will get better obviously this Person Meant so much to you And had such a significant Impact on your life that does not mean in any way That they were good for good for That they were good for good for you and meant for you..... Even if it felt that way Doesn't mean it's true You deserve so much better You deserve so much better. I went through a break-up Last summer My ex had cheated on me with a girl He was Friends friends with And I had 0 work about it because I trust in him End the last time And the last time I expect it Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend had told me 2 weeks like the day I had it happen See the way he lied and the way he was manipulating And I would never wish that experience on anyone But I learned so much about How much A person Can manipulate you Change so many things About you For themselves. It is incredibly sad And I wish you well I truly hope Everything Gets better. You seem like a cool kind hearted person Don't let anyone bring you down when they didn't care enough To let you grieve In peace After The relationship ended. (Also mind my capitalization And grammar I typed this with voice chat) Sending love
@@LaylaReab Thankyou so much. Genuinely you don’t know how much this means to me. I’m healing now and I’m in a much better place than I was. I’m so content :)
So babes Every time you go back to a memory you are reliving it your body is reliving it and I think you have a higher chance of re-creating that situation I know in my life when I have really bad situations It’s like my ultimate fear and then they end up manifesting
sometimes i feel like we are the same person because we have such similar personalities and have gone through such similar things 😭😭😭 i enjoy these podcasts SO MUCH you are the absolute best madeline!!!!! my fav podcaster/ youtuber forever
actually thank you so much for this i've been having similar experiences over the past year and it's comforting to know i'm not alone and that over time it gets better! ❤️
When you were talking about cutting energy ties, esp with naracisstic people, it kinda makes sense bc of the law of detachment. The minute you stop caring is when what you were so deeply yearning for before, actually happens - crazy how it all works
Mentioning how cheating in this case would be the "less severe" offence and the context should give people enough to realize how bad the situation must have been without knowing the details
madeline, your commentary on this and the whole pretty lonesome project has already helped me realize stuff about myself so much since discovering it yesterday. i'm oddly looking forward to next monday!
i know exactly how you feel, someone you trusted so much betraying you comes as such a shock you really don’t know which way is up, i still think about it like how tf did i go through that
I've been going through something similar over the past few months, and I have felt lost within myself and honestly your advice was so helpful, thank you for sharing your life on such a deep level it defo can be daunting.
"...the more I grow and the more I go to therapy, the more my goal is to become who I was when I was six years old again, because that was the purest, most loving, most kind, most genuine version of myself; her hobbies, her interests, her reactions to things, I'm trying to get back to them..." You sometimes say things that really have an impact on me, but it happens so randomly during your talks, you don't even realize how beautiful are some of the things you say, as if Apollo likes to show up in your speeches, and kiss you, and then go again. I've never thought about it before, I'm so far from the child I was, at least that little dude had some things clear in his mind back then
i feel the exact same way about her too and the way that you describe how you see her was beautiful and also i hope that someday you can be little you again! 💗💗
Every episode I feel so seen omg. This girl did something really backstabbing to me in high school after we were such close friends in elementary school and she couldn’t understand why I was so upset with her because she had no obligation to me. Betraying someone you loved in childhood just feels so evil to me!!
everything your saying is so spot on for when i was in a similar situation with an ex close friend that i knew since childhood. it's really healing to hear people with similar experiences or have friends that can tell you that you're being treated wrong.
Thank you so much Madeline for sharing this!! I was in a similar situation about a year ago. I’m still struggling to make sense of it and to cope with the unfairness and betrayal of it all. I was also made to feel stupid for not being able to „just get over it“ so this is so validating and gives me hope. I really hope you’re doing well and could find peace in yourself again, loads of love
I’m going through the same situation. Crazy that youtube suggested this video. I relate so much especially in this stage of my life. Felt like my whole world is crashing
Girl I have the same question. I genuinely put my heart into my friendships and I think that’s where I mess up. I put so much that I get disappointed when I don’t get the same energy back. and it’s hard to find friends that don’t BACK STAB you every time 🙃
i think the important thing is to not put your eggs in one basket. Allow and cultivate multiple friendships. Put effort in, but don’t exert yourself on them, give what’s you’re given and a little more. Never give someone more than they’re giving you to the point where it’s detrimental to you. Let things progress naturally with a little bit of help, because if they will be they’ll be. Trust in the fact that you’ll find people who are worth your while, and who find you worth theirs.
When you said “you have to feel to heal”… I always think to myself that it’s not worth the thoughts, it’s just silly, I care to much… so it just feels wrong to sit there and think about a situation where the other person probably don’t even care about.
This near exact thing happened to me with this girl at college. Victimizing me in their head and everyon elses head cause they felt bad for what they done. Thank you for sharing. It's always a good time clicking on one of your videos. I was gaslit too.
I'm just still impressed that one is able to talk about these things on such a platform knowing the people you talk about will probably see this.. that can't be easy to do
I’m a 20 going on 21 year old man so I should probably be watching shit like JOE ROGAN or the Awakened Masculinity podcast but here I am watching Madeline Argy’s Pretty Lonesome and it’s genuinely the funniest and most interesting online series i’ve ever listened to. Never change Madeline
i've always believed that if there is a rumour going round about you, and the people who you'd least expect to believe it, end up believing it, that is only because they want to believe it. It makes sense if you think about it, because if you picture someone you may not know very well (maybe a mutual on instagram- just as an example) and you always felt iffy about them or there was something about them you never liked, or maybe even someone you absolutely resent, if you woke up to a rumour about them, you'd immediately think to yourself "oh yea that checks out" . Because you never really liked them and you were never really rooting for them, you'd immediately want to believe the rumour is true, whether you admit it or not. So my conclusion is that your ex best mate had some sort of inferiority complex towards you and felt extremely shadowed by you and just overall jealous. I think she was always waiting for something to confirm her despise towards you so that she could justify the negative way she felt about you; in other words she was looking for something to villainize you. Her immediacy in jumping to conclusions only showed her true colours, never yours, and i'm sorry you felt the need to prove your worth to someone like that.
i can’t even explain how much i relate to you and your podcasts and the stories within it really feels like i’m listening to myself it’s crazy. especially the part about falling into the wrong universe.
imagine doing a whole podcast and going on and on for almost an HOUR about how you feel about a situation and then NOT TELLING US THE SITUATION brb gonna rip my hair out
holy mackerel, you are entertaining to listen to, but to be friend with is probably tons of hard work, kudos to the people that manage to be your friends
Just saw you had new videos out. It's so good to have you back! Thank you for sharing and expressing yourself the way you do, it's so refreshing and has inspired me a lot in trusting and owning my own authenticity.
@Madelinargy - The jokes on your Best friend and Ex... You're First Class Epicness at it's finest! Smart, good Looking, genuine, articulate and able to converse at a high standard. What is not to like!? Madeline you're killing it... Just stay being you! ✨
Don’t say you overreacted!!!! Prolonged trauma creates PTSD. This is coming from somebody whose best friend started dating her brother. Went down in flames and they took me with 😑 I experienced PTSD from this. BTW, the anger you feel is the inside of you that loves you and knows you deserved better. Don’t invalidate yourself!!! All this is coming from a psych major pursuing therapy
Girl this is so relatable to me as someome who has been in therapy for almost a year bc my sister had an affair with my first loves DAD while we were DATING and it absolutely caused so much destruction and broke apart not only my first ever serious relationship but also several of my family relationships and the entire thing 1) caused a months long mental break for me where I nearly lost my job and my LIFE tbh because the panic attacks that ensued were so grueling and 2) has resulted in me feeling waves of rage every day even a year and a half later Anyways I hear u and I believe one day both of us will look back on these events with so much wisdom
Girl lol ive been binging your videos like a crazy person, i relate to you so much and your vids feel like we just hanging and i love it! I have FOMO not being your friend 🤣😋
if a friend quickly believes someone elses word on your character specially something negative they were just waiting for a reason to hate you because they rather be in denial about themselves than to allow any sort of anger/hate be expressed on a healthy level....like they get themselves into friendships/relationships forcing themselves to coexist with people they themselves don't get along with because the thought of ''not everyone will be everyone's cup of tea'' is terrifying to them, they want to believe this delusion that they are so easy going , that they can be everyones friend that when shit hits the fan their bottled up resentment and regret comes out.
My ex throw away nine months for my best friend and he said he miss her more than me and I did everything I could to make the relationship work and I guess he never loved me and it still hurts me till this day and I can't stop crying over him but he told her that he never loved me and he used me to be with her and I can't stop hurting and I can't feel anything inside of me and I thought he loved me but apparently he was in love with her and not me and I hope karma gets them one day and I'm never giving up on love and I know someone is out there for me and I'm better off without him and he will miss out on a good woman who deserves better and I hope I heal from this breakup and heartbreak one day and I'm going to try to get over him and this breakup❤❤
The worst and what still seems like the most confusing lesson ive ever learned is that sometimes people will leave just because. They will do what seems easiest to them and sometimes thats leaving you, even if you were the perfect friend God i hate that one because ive been in both ends. I guess its just life
The key to understanding stupid people is that, in general, they are not stupid - they are evil/selfish. "Stupid" is a way to cover for evil/selfish behaviour. It is, more or less, a tactic that people employ.
Girl i am at minute 12 and your repeating yourself all the time and you dont really tell the whole story to the point where i dont even know what's going on after 12 minutes?!
just woke up from some mad sleep paralysis, needed some healing, come to your podcast. thank u for bringing me back to reality madz, feel like i'm on facetime to u ahahaha bc why is this so relatable
