She is also stupid, she could have given them CASH (or take out a loan) - didn't she know that credit cards have extremely high interest (even back in the day). If it was for a small amount what is the point - you can gift or lend them a few thousand. If the daughters "needed" to borrow a larger amount CC debt is insanity because of the high interest rate. She obviously expected them to pay for the money themselves so giving them the cc (that were tied to her account) was a sort of loan - but the worst possible form of loan even if the daughters would have paid.
She made this situation SO MUCH WORSE by lying. If I was him, I would be disappointed in the daughters but angry at the spouse. I see this situation ending SO BAD for her.
And that's exactly why she's afraid to tell him. This is a time when he needs to have a lot of self control over his emotions but ask for clear boundaries from her so that they can rebuild trust. Why is he not someone she could talk to about this anyway? She is in the wrong, definitely. But this is absolutely marriage problems going way back.
Jade is the best addition to this crew ever. Her journey is still fresh enough to fire her up. That's no slight to the rest of the crew but she seems to have a real passion for the Ramsey mission and she frames the message in a way that is easy to relate to for those that are up to their necks in crap.
So many things done wrong by the caller. Taking out credit cards for your kids and consolidating your debt which makes you stay in debt even longer. Not telling your significant other. SMH. 🤦♂️
Debt consolidation depends on the type of debt, the consolidation company (for profit or nonprofit), and how the consolidation is structured. I consolidated debt through a nonprofit company maybe 25 years ago. A couple of credit cards and a charge plate. The credit cards were 19% to 23% and the charge plate was over 20%. The total owed was maybe $10,000. The consolidation management fees were per account. I believe the average interest across the accounts after negotiation was 11 or 12 percent. As an account was paid off, the management fee dropped off. I got a couple of pissy letters from my credit companies. I was reminded that I could have negotiated with them directly and that if they ran my credit and found I was using or had opened a credit card account they would back out of the consolidation contract and crank up my interest rate. Debt consolidation only works well IF the debtor closes their credit accounts and does not open new ones. I believe I paid my debt off in two years. It forced me to use my debit card and think about my purchases.
I suspect that her own marriage isn't what she painted it to be. The fact that the daughters both wound up in dubious relationships and the caller hasn't shared any of this with their father is a 🚩 to me. I think that she is lying about her job as well. Something's not right, and the debt is the least of it!
She did say she was down to the last $30,000 and was $3,500 behind. That implies that she has repaid $100,000 toward debts she enabled her daughters to incur.
she lives in fear because the father is clearly the only one who puts his foot down and gives tough love to his kids. And her pampered daughters will just blame the mother for snitching once the father confronts his daughters about it. tldr: she's only afraid she'll be caught doing something she shouldn't have @@hollystiener16
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 What? Please take your misogynistic attitude elsewhere. There are plenty of sons that take from their mother. I’ve seen it in my own family. Most women in family are out doing the men. Stop with your crap.
@@stephanied1028 We need to address this here and now Stephanie! I have had enough of women abusing community laws and then being rewarded for it in divorces. It needs to stop. This happens, statistically, with more women than it does men. Call it misogynistic, but you will have to come to terms with it one day. Be glad you were made aware of it on RU-vid, from an individual who tells it like it is.
@@stephanied1028 I thought you were going to say "sons that take from their father" but then I remembered too many kids are growing up without one today.
Imagine the husband's face when he sees a credit card statement of $135,000, she's behind on payments, and their daughters are losers. Thats risking their house and retirement because she didn't want to upset her husband by being a father.
Regardless of sex, imagine your partner running up $135 000 of debt. What loser children who run up the debt, don’t pay it and then threaten loss of contact with grandchildren for wanting them to pay back the f….ing money they took/stole. This mother is a real piece of work. She’s like the perennial parent (usually the mother) who continually covers poor behaviour by a POS child and then begs the victims to “be the bigger person” “we’re family”. Etc etc. etc.
I wonder if the husband and wife will ever do anything that would require running a credit report. This debt being delinquent would be revealed and then the husband will be looking for an explanation for that.
Mother is easy to take advantage of and obviously an enabler.. but, what utterly repugnant and repulsive behaviour from her daughters. Morally bankrupt.
“It shouldn’t have been hidden from me” ? However, it’s ok for me to keep it hidden from the husband. That says volumes about this caller in general. But…but…but…but
Jade is so awesome, next to Dave, she’s the best; she is so relatable and she has recently had struggles so she can speak from personal experience. I also love how she is real with people; she doesn’t just coddle them with a word hug.
A wise man once told me as a rule of thumb........"If you got to keep it secret, it probably ain't right" Come on lady you're lying to your husband. Duh, come clean.
My sister is almost 60 and has menaced and bullied my parents all her adult life. It’s a terrible thing to watch and know they can’t be helped since they helped create the monster.
For whatever reason if your daughters are willing to take your grandchildren away from you again for any reason, there's nothing you can do to ever stop that. Because if it's not this excuse they're going to use as blackmail then it can be anything else. To use your child to emotionally blackmail your own mother is beyond disgusting.
I am amazed this lady was able to pay off that much debt! Then I’m amazed she couldn’t tell the husband. Finally amazed again to think she actually “saved” her daughters. This didn’t even save them. All this was was a freebie, get out of debt free card thanks to mom. Would all but guarantee they’re racking up their own cards right now. Whatever they can get.
Wow, scary how people think and the mental gymnastics they do to justify their actions. It was good to see the hosts call her out. Daloney would have said secrets destroy families. Something seems off with the caller. I think she is a habitual liar - she has all the tells. When called out on the COVID excuse she immediately deflected. Also, how do you let your kids rack up over $100k in credit card debt without stopping it much earlier? My BS meter is going off. Yikes!
Yeah, the COVID excuse seemed a little far fetched. Hard to know for sure how accurate that is, since she couldn't tell what kind of a career she was in. Interesting how she wasn't happy that her daughters not making their payments was hidden from her. That's understandable, but she's hiding the fact that SHE'S making the payments from her husband. Sad that this money situation has become such a mess and threatens the relationships between everyone involved, including grandchildren.
This is possibly the most absurd call I’ve seen on this show, and I watch a LOT of Dave Ramsey. This lady has gone a LIFETIME manipulating and enabling the people around her trying to be “nice” but actually just enabling people to hurt themselves, manipulating people’s actions, and keeping hurtful secrets. Up close it seems like she might just be trying her best, misguided as it may be, but if you back up and look at the whole situation, she’s actually kind of evil and there’s almost a malice intent behind her actions.
Textbook codependent manipulator. Trying to bind people to her by making them depend on her. She wants them to have the credit cards so she can have leverage over them to secure access to grandkids. Picture perfect family dysfunction.
@@kokoskokso yeah, I imagine that if you dig in here and heard from the husband and adult children, they’d frame her as the manipulative grandmother that we hear about on other calls. There are two sides to every story.
@@Julian-zc9vm she doesn't want to come clean and help her daughters the right way. Clear sign to me she has an agenda. Plus she does an awful amount of weaseling. Shady and not in a good way.
How can the husband not know that his wife has spent 100 thousand and he doesn't know. That tells me they are extremely rich, or their finances are really completely separated.
Mom is enabler. Didn't confront her daughters on cc debt. Where's Dave for this call? lol..these daughters found Mom's weakness and took advantage of it..thanks for sharing.
Someone else said it here, these kids have been coddled and pampered their whole lives and now are entitled. Mom is cleaning up their mess, covering for them, and making excuses for them.
Best thing to do if you loan money to family or friends is consider it a gift because it's the quickest way to make a family member or friend an enemy and you become the bad person for doing it.
THANK YOU, JADE! For calling her out for hiding all of this from her husband and then turning it around on her and asked if she would want to know. If this was Baloney he would be asking why she didn’t “feel safe” telling her husband instead of calling her out and holding her responsible
This lady is too nice and her kids completely take advantage of it. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. You gotta have it in you to put the fear of God in your kids from time to time. They gotta know you don’t put up with no ish.
How could one’s kids could charge up to 135 k and not help pay it down. Equally troubling is hiding this from Grandpa. Then digging a deep hole by saying Grandpa would disown the kids and they would respond by baring contact with grandkids / sounds like an soap opera episode.
Addiction ? and likely the daughters DID get some money (with the father knowing and giving it) both had a divorce and kids are involved. But he would not finance waste or addiction.
I don't know what card she's added her daughters as authorized users on... I added my daughter to my AmEx. 1) She has a spending limit. 2) I'll get an alert when she approaches that limit, 3) any and all of her purchases come to my phone, and 4) I can block spending on and shut that card down at the drop of a hat.
Is it possible to turn off the notifications? As the daughter's might’ve done that by accessing her phone. Though why she wasn't checking statements is beyond me, aswell as not putting a lower limit on the cards.
I would go Nuclear ☢️ if my wife let my children have our credit to blow $135,000, and then leave her on the hook for it “blown promises “ keep it from me because “we won’t see the grandkids “.. what the hell did they raise?
Wow, I would never do that to my parents. Even when I was in college, my mom gave me a card with access to her account, and everytime I needed to use it I always asked her. Also, I tried to not use it. I only used it in absolute emergencies and would never think of racking up thousands of dollars on it. Her daughters are horrible people.
I could never do this to my mom. In essence my parents are lucky that my brother and I were responsible since high school; started working as soon as we both turned 16.
This was posted 7 hours ago. It's December 2023. She said her area of Virginia isn't fully opened back up after Covid. Sooooo, that's verifiably a big ol' lie making everything else she said questionable. The debt is probably her own and she was testing her script on Jade and George before trying it on her husband. She's gonna have to send that script back for a drastic re-write.
I have met mothers who will become poverty stricken, homeless and beggars on the street in order to finance their kids every desire and if they stop or say no the kids guilt shame them into getting what they want. If they had trained their kids correctly from when they were two years old then this type of stuff would never happen. The fact that she hid this from her husband is horrible!!! What kind of game was she playing “ good parent vs bad parent” trying to buy her kids love. Adult children or older teenagers who try to do this stuff do not love their parents and the parents who do this do not really love their children. Shame on everyone!!! This horrible. Wouldn’t be surprised if the husband left and divorced her.
The fact that the caller says her husband would disown the kids speaks volumes to me, about his personality and/ or their relationship, and how much or little love there is around the place.
You can see why the daughters turned out as they did. This mom is making a whole lot of excuses for them. I can’t imagine doing this to my parents. and I certainly know my children won’t be like this! They deserve to be disowned
This whole family has a honesty and integrity problems, they lied to mom and mom lied to husband in the exact same was.. She needs to be the stop gap in this evil family loop and stop it from future generations.
Debt consolidation might be a solution if the consolidation company is on the level AND the debtor is willing to stick to the plan and not open any other credit accounts. I did it twenty five or so years ago. Combined credit cards and a charge plate account. Went from an average interest of around 20% to 11% (plus single digit monthly management fees per account) and annoyed my creditors in the process. I think it took a couple of years to pay off (maybe $10,000). I learned to use my debit card and think about what I was buying.
Sorry. She's an enabler and a liar (by omission). She thinks she's the one who's kind of heart but she's contributed to this situation more than anyone. These consequences are just as much her's as her daughter's.
I cannot imagine the level of ingratitude. The daughters caused this mess for their mother (135k in high interest debt) and they would keep her from seeing the grandhildren to punish her for telling their father (who would be angry if he knew). I wonder what else is going on. If both parents made good money and both daughters got into trouble because of divorce or an abusive husband even, and there are kids - wouldn't the father / grandfather have helped out ? Unless he knew something about the daughters. Unless it was a tradition of the mother taking the side of the daughters (against what he wanted which may or may have been reasonable or too harsh).
If the daughters were on her account, didn't she get credit card statements that showed thousands of dollars being charge on her account by the daughters? To rack up $135,000 in debt, they would have to run up charges (including interest and late fees) of over $2000 a month, every month, for 5 years.
John and Dave would have handled this differently. Is there abuse? She should have seen the cards. My daughter was authorized user when she went abroad in college. She was mature, no extra things, but I had sign in for MY account. How did she not know?
Lesson learned: Never ever co-sign anybody for anything or add anybody as Authorized users on your credit cards. When sh** hits the fan, you will be the one cleaning up all their messes!!!😂😂😂
😢 moral of this story they all have terrible marriages and divorces and relationships and bad Communications very dysfunctional and it's not the money situation but it is the money situation
I wish Dave would have taken this call as a father with adult children. These two currently have small children so they are only offering their opinion on what they “think” the situation is supposed to look like. These personalities don’t know what financial sacrifices they will have to make for their kids in the future when they are grown. The caller had good intentions on helping her daughters, however, got played by her kids unfortunately. I hope she can rectify her situation soon.
Having an authorized user of her credit, with a high credit limit, is INSANITY! This woman is dealing with the equivalent of drug addicts except the drug is money. I'd also consider disowning them.
She should've tried to settle the debt with this cc company first. It sounds like most of it was interest. It's crazy what these cc companies are allowed to charge you. There needs to be a ceiling where they can't charge you anymore interest. It's out of control.
So she's hiding this from him because he would disown them, fracture the family, and she would divorce him?? 3:08. Wow wow wow. What a disfunctional household. For the daughters to steal 6 figures from their parents because they are incapable of paying for the necesseties, then the mom hides it all from the dad. If I'm the dad in this situation I'm probably considering getting the heck out of there.
I have had some family members work as domestic staff before and know that sometimes the employers issue them an authorized credit card for household expenses. In every case they put a credit limit on the card to minimize abuse. I believe this occurs with corporate cards as well. Why did she authorize these cards for her children if it wasn't for household purposes and why wasn't an lower limit in place ok the cards?
he always is .claims to be a christian but puts his ratings before what bible says .MEN lead woman support but not according to him .usa woman r lost thats the core problem dave speak the truth ...@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
Correction. Her daughter's would be the ones choosing to weaponize the grandchildren, not the father. She just doesn't want to be held accountable for anything to her husband.
Wow! Not my mother, she told us the Bible said don’t co-sign. 😂😂😂😂😂 and believe me she didn’t cross that line. We had to sink or swim our entire life. We made it! 😂😂😂😂😂
1:06 'What kind of debt is it? ' What is the difference at this point? I realize that it is the heart of the problem but the debt has to be paid back regardless. Deal with the behavior and family relations aspect after you put the fire out.
30k open on credit card means 6k per year in interest. Her husband needs to help her out, if need be he borrows her the money and she pays him back after she sorted out her career. What kind of career is still affected by the pandemic ??
Dave would call this financial infidelity if a man had done it. EDIT: can you imagine if baloney was there? He would ask if she was safe, would say he’s proud of her for allowing her daughters to walk all over her, and probably blame him for not knowing
@njfuentesrespecter81 -- No he wouldn't say he was proud of her. And he wouldn't blame the husband. He'd call the daughters out for the moochers they are.
Oh man, what a mess. I don't know if the husband's response expected response is out of line but I think this is one where it's better to rip the bandage off and do what you can to pick up the pieces. Nobody's being done any favors with things continuing.
Trust him if he really loves you then yes he will be mad for a week or two but will finally accept and work with you to resolve this as really it is not as bad as it could have been if you hadn’t caught it in time!!!!!!
Caller said she and her husband do have a joint account, but also separate finances. She's been paying down the debt from her own money, but now her income has fluctuated negatively and she's struggling to pay off the last *35K!*
The mother has enabled the daughters and she doesn’t even know it. What lesson will they learn if she pays off all their credit card debt and conceals it from their father? She knows the reaction the father will have and it’s the reaction they need. Because I don’t know how you rack up $130K in credit card debt without being irresponsible. I went through the college system and I lived an incredibly frugal lifestyle in order to make it financially. These girls give me the vibe of “money’s no object.” These are the type of girls that men should stay away from. If they can drain their own mother financially with zero conscience, then they of course can do so to a boyfriend or husband. $130K is unconscionable. It’s reckless and stupid and these daughters certainly need a wake up instead of being emboldened by their weak mother.
Based on this conversation it appears that she and her husband were living it up with some big money, probably like 500,000+ a year with them both. They outsourced raising their children to someone else, then felt guilty when the kids grew up to be entitled rich kids. She felt sorry and gave them their own credit cards to live freely. They took advantage of her because that is how they are -- rich/entitled people. She lost her job and could not help them any longer, and is too proud to tell her husband. Now she is being humbled by the loss of her massive income and has not come to terms with how to deal with it or tell her husband.
That last comment by jade irked me, why is that bad exactly? What if you want to buy gifts for your spouse or simply save for something you really want?
Wow! So the daughters will use the grandkids as leverage to keep this a secret from their father after having their parents go into over $100,000 in credit card debt that they should have been paying!!? And the mom is stressing herself to death to pay it while keeping it a secret to keep the relationship. This may be the most dysfunctional call I’ve heard in a while!!! Geez!
