My Entitled Brother Bullied Me For Being Gay And Outed Me At Our School To Further Humiliate Me, ... 

You are not obligated to forgive anyone, at ANY time, if you're not ready to. Nobody has the right to force you into it.

"I'm proud of you for being gay" is such a June 1st statement

Op 1’s BF needs to stfu and stay in his place he isn’t the AH for feeling how he feels forgive on your own terms if you don’t wanna deal with that bullshit especially after the fuckery that happened who the fuck is the BF or anybody to tell him he’s the AH so stick one up there and see who’s the AH fr..

Remember... no one is entitled to forgiveness and no one is obligated to forgive. Especially if you are a AH like OP brother.

It's very odd to me all the people that are trying to convince him to get back together with an abusive family member that type of thing might not be as common as physical emotional or financial abuse but what the first guy's brother did was a form of abuse

You’re not obligated to forgive anybody. Even if they do change you still don’t have to forgive them. Forgiveness should never be forced on anybody.

I really dislike when ppl try to guilt them into forviving by wording it as "forgive for yourself" no? Lol thats not how that works.

I mean good for OP forgiving their brother. But I can't do that, my sister outed me being bi and having a woman as my fiancee. That caused me and Dad to have a screaming match and we went no contact for 6 months. I have forgiven my Dad because everyone told me as soon as he hung up he realized what he had did and was inconsolable for all those months. My sister enjoys being gossipy so she is dead, and buried to me. She had no reason to do that, I did so much for her and protected her from a lot of BS she had to deal with but she stabbed me in the back.

Story #1: NTA. Hilarious how the brother put so much effort into trying to destroy OP's social life, but as it turns out, he wasn't able to amass a gang of homophobes to join him. It's for the better that the boyfriend got to stepping, because he was _way_ too bold in aggressively inserting his opinion into something that did not involve him. If he decided to mend fences with his brother, that's fine, but as long as it's based on his own decision.

ST1 The cheek of the brother to blame depression for how he acted, depression doesn’t make you bully people especially your own brother, depression doesn’t make you out someone for being gay, he acted the way he did because he’s an absolute W⚓️.

Idk how the internet can turn you against your own brother. What kind of influences was he looking at? And how could his love for his brothet not override that?

Forgiveness should only be given if OP is ready to forgive. Not when someone else asks for it.

People can change yes but that doesn’t mean you have to forgive them for their past treatment.

I’m surprised the brother changed at all. OP 1 was far more merciful than I would ever be.

You can't force forgiveness. They only want to shame OP and force him/her into silence and compliance. Ridiculous. Stay strong OP!

It is your choice if you want to forgive. I would recommend talking to him and spending limited time to see if he changed. I have known a guy in high school that was a terrible bully. Today he volunteers in helping former prisoners intergrade back into society. He even hosts game nights every Friday to make sure that they dont do something stupid. I used to hate him, and now I actually call him a friend. Moral is that while personally i believe that most ahole stay aholes, some can change.

Last story. Would love for OP to go to the APs home, and in front of his family, tell him who he is. Even if he wasn’t married at the time, if he is now, it’s going to crush that relationship. Also, OP can now go out and meet other people. Even if he doesn’t see anyone else, he should go out like he is for some time, so the other wife really and truly knows the pain she’s caused OP, and the level of guilt she’s inflicted on their daughter. And isn’t there a son also? Surprise her with a sit down with him and tell her it’s time to explain things to him.

Forgiveness is overrated.

My sister apologized for doing some awful things when I was little. I always had a memory but I finally put it into context. She locked me out into an unheated back porch for hours when I was three with only cat food to eat and I got hospitalized with pnuemonia shortly after that (not sure if that was related) thanks for the apology sis!😒 Edit processing and releasing your anger doesn't need a sticker with "forgiveness" written on it to make it effective

Story 1 last comment ignores how dangerous manipulative family members can be by feigning guilt and asking for forgiveness. Its also just as corrosive to force yourself to pretend to forgive as it forces you to lie to yourself to keep up a charade. Its also damaging to teach people that their emotions make them terrible for simply feeling them. Treating anger as something inherently bad to feel is just a way to shame and emotionally blackmail people, usually victims of injustice, into social obediance, and not seeking vindication. Lastly, holding onto anger doesn't mean being angry all the time. It just means knowing someone is potentially harmful to you and not being stupid enough to allow them to hurt you again. Its only "tiring" when you let it consume you. Otherwise, it's like any other emotional experience.

1st op's boyfriend shouldve stayed out of it besides being a listener, and the fact that he felt the need to pressure him into reconciling with his brother by practically threatening to break up with him is insane. its nice that op and his brother are making up, but it shouldve happened under better circumstances if at all

you're entitled to an apology, you're not entitled to forgiveness

Story 2: OP in NTA. I feel bad for the BM because she made a mistake but she has to pay for it now. That's on her

Story 1: no matter if they’re reconciling, OP ignoring the brother and icing him out at the family get together was valuable and important I think. With that happening, the brother got a feel for the pain he caused OP, plus the knowledge that he’s the source of the pain for both of them. Without that, even if he’s truly remorseful, he still wouldn’t understand the helpless pain he caused.

S1, you don't need to forgive or talk to anyone if you don't want to. People who try to force you to that way of thinking. They can leave as well.

NTA he’s allowed to feel how he wants and so are you. You don’t have to accept an apology nor interact with someone to appease others. That’s weird behavior in itself.

Dude got gas lit into forgiving his brother by ppl, you don't NEED to forgive ppl, his ex boyfriend is manipulative, "ill leave if you don't" smh, if you don't want to forgive you don't have to

Story 1, Op needs to get rid of the bf too, hell naw i wouldn't want anyone who hurt my partner back into their life especially in this situation, Bruh op's bf is stupid, because i would not forgive that person who hurt my partner at all, i don't care how much that person cry etc, I'm not making my partner forgive them. Edit good their not together anymore, I hope the ex doesn't do the same thing in any other relationship and actually stop and think before saying that.

S3 nta you're so justified in the feeling of deceit and betrayal. You can't forgive but you can move on

My brother outed me to my religious parents to get back at them and me. I thought it was because he was autistic. Found out it's because I was right wing. Luckily, only my dad became distant.

why did 3 story op just ignore all the red flags omg

Story #1: OP = NTA The World's Smallest Violins 👌🏻🎻👌🏻🎻👌🏻🎻👌🏻🎻👌🏻 for Bio - _"brother"_ 😂😂😂!!!

The brother wants OP to forgive him just for his own selfish, ego stroking, personal desire for closure. He is NOT truly sorry or he wouldn’t be acting this way. He is NOT reformed, NOT changed, NOT a good person.

I havent spoken to my brother in 12 years. I'm doing just fine.

I don’t like this story. OP was successfully gaslit into thinking he owed his brother forgiveness. His bf is a jerk.

S1 nta that level of toxicity has no right to demand forgiveness I doubt it his change

Good job Big Brother, your drama cost your sibling a partner. Good job messing his life up again.

Forgiveness = #OVERRATED !!!

Second story totally nta you didn't have adopt her kid and she's clearly still totally toxicity

2nd story: South Korea is a good country to go to if you are worried that a family member might kidnap your kid.

“Proud of me for being gay”? What?

Story 2 it's nice to hear how on the ball op was.

Honestly op's brother is a dick head grown or not doesn't take back what you've done in the past. However, the biggest villain in the story is op's boyfriend taking the brother's side. Even though the brother himself claimed he completely understood why op felt how he did. The boyfriend was just sticking his nose in other people's business trying to stir drama. That's all that was. Who knows. Maybe he even has the hots for op's brother

People reaaally overstate how harmful it is to hold a perfectly reasonable grudge. its a natural emotion driven by a basic sense of self-preservaton, not stabbing yourself.

Story 3 - throat cancer check for HPV

Story number one I have a different situation I'm an older man and my relatives two of them in one family have accused me of doing stuff that I never ever did, one of them accuse me of staring at her boobs and the other one is her brother and accuse me of hitting on his girlfriend his idea of hitting on his girlfriend was because I said oh you're a very pretty girl one time and just because he's such an introvert he can't even tell his own girlfriend she's pretty because I said it one time now that labels me as a pedophile and his sister his mother and his sister both have mental issues they both been in mental places you know institutions and apparently because of their background and other family members doing something like that to them now it labels me as this kind of creep well I have distance myself from them no one else in the family believes them all the female relatives in my family they don't believe them they think they're full of crap, well I'm getting tired of people labeling me as this just because I'm 67 years old doesn't make you a creep because you tell a young woman she's pretty I'm tired of this mindset that just because you're old you're a creep now that's disgusting you people's mind is sick to go there immediately, and I personally will never forgive them for trying to label me this way when I have the most protective person in my family of anybody if I found somebody doing that to my younger cousin I would probably beat them to death but now all of a sudden I'm labeled this by two of my family members because they have a mental issue, and I find it virtually impossible to forgive them for this

Story #2: OP = NTA & MOTHER 💯🦾

The thing with forgiveness, it’s for the one that was hurt, not the one who hurt the person. Even though I’m all for giving people a second chance, some people have to earn it through extreme blood, sweat, and tears.

The BF in story 1 likely either cowtow's to his homophobic relatives and wants everyone to suffer or he just wants the brother.

one of the reasons it is not the best idea for taking in the sex trophies of garbage siblings or other so called 'famblee' members

Fake

Thats kinda gay

Story 3 this man needs to divorce asap. Instead of being the caretaker for a cheating wife. Let chad come and take care of her. But this doormat rathe blame the ap than his 304 disabled wife

Oh yeah, I forgot its June. Here come the "I'm a gay victim" Reddit stories Fuck

If nothing really happened then OP just being petty

Pretty gay

He doesn’t have to forgive his brother but people calling his brother “abusive” are unhinged. Like yea bro think about the long term consequences of your actions at a time in your life where your brain literally isn’t developed to do such a thing.

Holy crap, the comment section here is bitter.

Everyone in the comments is miserable

these comments are pretty cringe. get a life